Chapter Text
Nobody had been very impressed when Thomas had announced Love Club. Julian, (smug at knowing 'modern lingo' as he put it) proclaimed that Love Club was 'cringe'. Humphrey muttered that he didn't care about Love Club as long as Julian didn't introduce an Improbable Sex Club.
Pat, however, was more optimistic.
"I love love!" He said. "Let's give it a try."
"Food Club pretty dead now anyways." Grunted Robin.
"That too." Admitted Pat.
It turned out that Love Club was just a chance for Thomas to recite lovesick poetry about Alison. All the other ghosts were immensly glad Alison wasn't there.
"Alas, in a war of love
Our shields are destined to clang
But all I really want, my dove
Is for us both to bang." Thomas finished his recital by wiggling his eyebrows. He even added in some jazz hands.
"What's this?" Said Alison, entering the room, armed with a plunger in one hand and a bag of gooseberries in the other.
"Nothing," Said Julian, lounging back in his seat. "Just some light entertainment."
"Light for you, maybe." Said Lady Button. "But not for all our non debauched souls." She fanned herself with her hand.
"Right..." Said Alison, looking doubtfully towards Pat. "What's going on?"
"Love Club." Sighed Pat.
"I was reciting some poetry, my love." Thomas explained.
"Shocking," Said Lady Button. "She's a married woman."
"Right, well." Said Alison. "Maybe let the others talk for a bit, Thomas? What do you say, Cap?"
"I say organise it like a military operation." Said the Captain, who had before been sunk in abstraction. "Each of us gets a chance to speak."
"Sounds good, mate," Said Pat. "I'll start, yeah?"