Chapter Text
Regulus Black was by no means, weak.
It was a result of growing up in a morbid house devoid of all colour, with every corner of the house containing something dark and vicious. It was like walking on a path of sharpened needles, you had to be careful with every step if you wanted to safely make it to the end.
But that was a hard task to do when you had snakes tangling themselves around you and forcing you to step back twice when you've moved forward once.
And the only warmth or comfort he'd ever received was from his elder brother, not his father and most definitely not his mother whose 'charming' smile was as cruel as her tongue.
His earliest memory was hazy, almost like an illusion but he could still remember the sensation of his body trembling with fear as he stood behind his brother, Sirius, after breaking a vase. He remembered how Sirius didn't hesitate to take the blame while his mother stood looming above the two and indifferently raised her wand at them, with no regard for either him or his brother.
But that was just the beginning of her cruelty, for there was never just one incident.
From a young age, it was always Sirius who had protected and cared for Regulus in his memories, his kind and courageous elder brother who was named after one of the brightest stars in the sky. His presence was not something people took lightly, from the way he walked into a room, his entire body demanded everybody's attention, to focus on him and only him.
And as much as Mother hated Sirius and the way he took her hard-earned attention away, she could say nothing as he was still her heir and if he had been any less she most likely would've beaten him until he forcibly changed.
Not that it would've made a difference, Sirius was as unyielding and as tenacious as a bull when it came to his opinions and persona. Nobody could change him, he wouldn't bend for somebody nor would he let them control his actions.
But it was exactly this unwillingness to bend to their mother's every whims that made his mother's hatred spiral into disgust for the younger male, but he was still her firstborn son, for even when he was disobedient and crude you could always see that glimmer of twisted pride in her cold arctic eyes.
The years continued to pass them by while this battle of wills only seemed to continue as the seed of hate began to flourish, creating a wave of events that became a common running theme for Sirius and Walburga.
Just a small flame of disobedience from Sirius ended up becoming a wildfire of rebellion that brightened their dark and gloomy house, a fire that nobody, not even Sirius could stop from consuming their cold walls, adding a long forgotten warmth to their lives.
But that was Sirius, heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.
So while he was this unshakable, untameable force to be reckoned with, a star who grew brighter as he grew with every year, Regulus Arcturus Black was anything but that.
Regulus was just the forgotten spare to the heir, the younger brother who blended into the crowd, the child who could perfectly carry himself through the shadows of number twelve, Grimmauld Place.
Or more privately known to the pair of brothers as the House of Hidden Horrors.
And as a result, many people disregarded Regulus, never remembering that there happened to be a second Black child, after all, what was the point? He was no heir.
But that was the first mistake people made, for he may not be the most prominent person or the most compelling, but he did happen to be the smartest and sneakiest.
So where his mother hated his lack of presence, Regulus adored it, finding it to be his greatest strength, and as he grew, he only grew to love it more as he used it to sneakily wander crowed parties. Collecting bits and pieces of information like a dragon who hoarded after gold.
It wasn't until he was seven that he truly began to notice the power that came from gossip and the importance of being knowledgeable about certain events.
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Regulus stood far off from the crowd, watching as the adults all mingled in mind-numbing conversations, one by one the children were thrown left and right to make introductions. Most of them were heirs who were making their debut into the social standings of a pureblood, so again, mind-numbing conversations.
He hadn't seen Sirius since the elder crept out from the large ballroom no less than 15 minutes ago when their parents had been momentarily distracted by the Lestrange's.
"Did you hear about the Carrow's?" A hushed voice asked, startling Regulus who was dazed as he observed the crowds, turning his head he noticed two noble ladies standing not too far off from where he stood. They both seemed to be leaning closer to one another as if they could keep their secrets from spilling out into the hands of another.
"Of course! nobody here dares to even mention it, I just can't believe that Amycus Carrow would attempt to dirty his family's name with such a crude act." Regulus should've immediately known what she had meant by the amount of disgust portrayed on their faces, there was only one thing that'd make their masks slip like that in public.
"You'd never catch me dead with somebody as low as that mudblood girl he was seen with, a pureblood like him, with her? How distasteful."
"He seemed to have blamed it on the mudblood child, saying she had lied about her background but that almost resulted in him being disowned completely for being ignorant and getting tricked by the mudblood." With a small gasp Regulus turned away as he did not want to be caught listening to a conversation of that nature, he'd be punished for weeks at most.
Moving through the seemingly vast crowd, Regulus was almost out the door when he noticed Amycus Carrow of all people standing in a small gathering of pureblood children a bit older than he was.
"Have you seen that disgrace, Sirius Black? Parading around the room shamelessly, acting as if he was a mudblood himself with the manners he demonstrated tonight." He snickered as the rest all giggled at the retelling of Sirius going from family to family with his parents.
"Did you see the way Malfoy recoiled from the way Sirius addressed him, even I was disgusted with his blatant display of disrespect." Came another voice, but Regulus wasn't paying attention to them anymore.
His vision had long since been tainted with red as he looked Amycus Carrow up and down.
How dare he of all people, disrespect his brother, the Carrow's were as powerful as ants compared to the Black's. Yet he thought he could belittle Sirius, his bright and dazzling elder brother.
"If I'm correct Carrow, wasn't it just the other day you were almost disowned for lowering yourself to a mudblood's status, yet here you stand, spitting on the House of Black?" Finally, he spoke up in what they would deem as a quiet voice, but Regulus knew that he had eyes on him.
He could feel the familiar sensation of chills running down his spine, and with just a singular glance towards his family, he could see his mother was watching him.
Almost immediately he had stolen everybody's attention, nobody moved and nobody breathed. It was as if the entire room had been spelled to silence and now all they could hear was Amycus, whose breathing had become heavy as his face turned all interesting shades of purple.
"I would never disrespect such a noble house, no more than I would converse with a mudblood." Amycus hissed, his eyes darting as he tried to gauge who was listening in on the conversation.
But that was a useless act, the entire conversation was being broadcast to the ears of everybody in the ballroom.
"Really? So I were to go to my grandfather about this matter, he wouldn't find anything? Is that the truth or are you lying to me?" Regulus could see how Amycus flinched the second he used his grandfather's name, beads of sweat had begun to form on his forehead as he tried to find a way out of the hole he dug himself into.
"Then again, my ears might have been playing tricks on me, after all, who here is stupid enough to offend a Black? Especially considering our... reputation, and I'm sure we all know how petty we Black's can be when it comes to grudges." The threat was as clear as day to everybody who was listening, Regulus had seemingly taken control of the conversation with the underlying threat of a possible family feud.
But what had everybody's interest was the fact Regulus Black of all people, had used his family name to threaten the Carrow's all because he insulted his unruly brother, and he'd done it well.
It was a rare sight, a seven-year-old standing up to a thirteen-year-old and coming out victorious. It was in that moment that Regulus understood why his mother seemed to enjoy her status as a Black, or why his father loved to make show of their family name at times.
Regulus turned on his heels and casually made his way out of the ballroom with his head held high, without a single glimpse back. His mind was too busy thinking of the possibilities he could have, w ith the knowledge of secrets, the hidden power within them and the way they seemed to have the pureblood society by the throat.
It was all the more reason to further invade the shadows, to stay forgotten in the eyes of their society, because the shadows were the solution to all of his and Sirius's problems.
And as long as he had secrets about every pure-blooded family in the British Wizarding community, nobody would dare even think of touching them again, not without the threat of shame and ridicule being forced upon the legacies they'd spent so long building.
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After that incident, Regulus was forced into the black-out room and starved for a week because as proud as his parents were for displaying the power the Black's held, he still spoke out of turn and for that, he should be taught a lesson for such an 'impulsive display of disrespect'.
It wasn't nearly as bad as they would have wanted it to be, Regulus was fast becoming a fan of dark and silent rooms which allowed for his mind to run freely.
This, however, was just the beginning for Regulus.
He had just gotten a taste of the power hidden in secrecy, the possible ways it could be used against people or how it could help him get what he wanted. And it was this simple taste that strengthened his resolve to stay hidden, to ignore his mother's constant mocking belittlement and to do as pleases.
He quickly learned how to be quieter in an already silent room, how to slip in and out of the shadows and away from prying eyes.
Regulus Black learned how to go unseen.
But as much as he wished to stay unseen in the shadows of his brother, he was still a pureblood and even when he was nothing more than a 'spare' for his family, purebloods had rules, and Regulus was not exempt from those rules.
He learned to speak like a Black, walk like a Black and act like a Black. He was taught how to mask his emotions, and how to manipulate those around him but more than anything, he was taught to deem everybody as lesser, for a Black was nothing less than royalty in the Wizarding world.
Black's show no weakness, his mother had said, bow your head to no one she said, nobody is as powerful as a Black she said. And for all her teachings, he believed her and he listened. But if she thought he was becoming a soulless doll for her entertainment, she was hilariously mistaken.
Because Black's had no weakness, they did not bow even to their own family and they were the most powerful family in Europe. And it was Regulus who was going to use that to his advantage, to get what he wanted and achieve the dreams he and his brother still whispered about in the safety of each other's arms.
And it was for this reason that he happily went along with everything his Mother threw at him, every lesson and every test, to practice calligraphy until his hands cramped and he could no longer move his fingers, to learn every common or uncommon language.
Runes, potions, charms, arithmancy, history, dark arts and many different hexes and curses etc, everything he could learn, he did.
Although his favourite lesson had to be learning about the spells made by past Black's which had only ever been taught to members of the family, another 'tradition' if you could call it that.
His brother however despised these lessons, he was disgusted with the way teachers tried to control him and reported everything about the lesson in detail back to his mother. It almost always resulted in a devastating punishment for not acting as a 'heir' should, but it was worse for him when Regulus didn't do a task perfectly, as a Black should.
Their parents had learnt early into their childhood of Regulus's love for Sirius and have been using it against him ever since, for every time he failed at something, anything, it'd be his brother's head on the chopping block.
This was the greatest misery for Regulus, it forced him to act perfectly, taught him how to speak low and calmly, to never show his emotions in front of his parents and how to always study a subject before being taught it.
It didn't however, stop Sirius.
Sirius seemed to live for the attention, for the chaos that came from disobeying orders from their parents, always jumping for the chance to take the punishments for Regulus if he made a mistake.
Because as hard as Regulus tried to be perfect for his brother's safety, it was his brother who seemed to live on the edge of safety.
And while the day called for perfection, it was at night that they treated themselves, both whispering words of love and comfort to each other, almost as if the words themselves would blanket their small bodies and protect them from the morning horrors that awaited them.
"Un jour nous serons libres petit lion, nous serons libres de voir l'océan et de manger autant de pâtisseries que l'on veut." Sirius whispered into the dead of night.
The room was quite for awhile as Regulus let his brother's words sink into his heart, his mind already conjuring images of the two on a sandy beach, "Je m'assurerai qu'on s'échappera d'ici ou sinon cette maison sera notre chute." Regulus replied.
"Je ne laisserai pas cela aller si loin, je ne les laisserai jamais t'éloigner de moi petit lion." Regulus could feel the way Sirius had tensed up as he spoke, the way his voice dipped and his arms tightened around his small waist.
Regulus pulled himself from Sirius's arms and stared down at him, "Mais et toi mon étoile, je ne survivrais jamais si je ne t'avais pas à mes côtés, ne me protège jamais à tes dépends." Regulus wouldn't let him argue his way out, not for this.
Sirius didn't blink as he stared up at his baby brother, the boy who used to tremble when he was around wands, the boy who would flinch whenever Sirius raised his voice at his parents, and now the boy was demanding him to live even if it meant leaving him.
Forsaking him to the combined wrath of their parents.
He knew it was not something he could ever promise, so instead the two wounded boys curled up together in bed, wrapped up in bandages with emptied healing potions forgotten on the floor beside them.
But as the days pass, and injuries repeat themselves, most nights are spent lying side by side, wishing for the day they could freely live. Those days turned into months and months soon became years and years became stolen nights of nursing one another. Those nights occurred more and more, one after another, and begun to feed into Regulus's hatred for his parents, growing in him like vitriol poison in his lungs.
Just the mere thought of them burned him worse than any fiendfyre could, he could hear his heart pounding loudly like a bass in his ears. It made his skin crawl with delight as he conjured ways he could've easily stopped their prolonged abuse, how he could've used their wands against them.
Even the fierce whispers of protection he'd speak into the trusted ears of his brother seemed to become tainted the more years that them passed by, they grew more violent and ruthless as the last, like his own personal hellfire. All while his loving brother simply sat and listened, who could understand and feel the heated flame that stalked behind every threat, every promise.
It wasn't until one fruitful day where finally, Regulus grew tired of such repetitive days, of repetitive words and actions, he grew tired of containing the rage that continued to spiral in the pits of his stomach, it was almost as if the familiar Black's madness that ran through his family like a plague was making itself known within Regulus, waiting for the day he finally succumbed to it.
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"They'll pay mon étoile, I promise they'll pay for every cruico and every curse that has touched your body." the resonance of his voice fell on deaf ears as Sirius lay unconscious in his bed.
Regulus's blood was boiling at the mere memory of Sirius's crumbled form violently trembling on the cold marbled floor, his broken screams were still echoing in his thoughts.
It was too vivid, one minute he was eating dinner next to his brother and he could feel the chilling cold that had taken over the room, not physically but he could feel it running down his body and erupting goosebumps along his skin, all because his mother had stopped eating and was now simply staring at the two as they ate.
Seconds turned into minutes as they both tried not to rush through their food, they knew she was testing them until one of them broke, but the Black brothers were nothing if not stubborn. Slowly, bit by bit, they cleaned off any scraps of food on their plates and stood up simultaneously to excuse themselves back to their respective rooms.
"Did your father say you could move?" Came the soft villainous voice of their mother, both Sirius and Regulus knew that this wasn't a rule, which meant mother was only doing this because for the past week and a half, they had been quiet, she must miss her sadistic games of torture.
Neither one of them responded, Sirius looked at her challenging, as if to dare her to punish him when he was nothing less than perfect for once, and, that seemed to be what she had been waiting for because before Regulus could even contemplate what was happening, his mother's tongue was already forming the words for the cruico curse.
The next thing he knows is his ears are ringing as his brother is now on the ground and his body's spasming while curling up into a ball as if to shield itself from her wand.
Regulus doesn't even realise what he's doing before suddenly he's in front of the vivid and eccentric red string of light, and then comes the familiar burn that makes him feel as if his bones are breaking apart on the inside. His mind is pounding and his throat feels both tight and dry from what could be thanks to his screams flinging off of the diner walls, Regulus has no idea how long it's been but he knows Kreacher is here taking care of him and his brother.
"Petit lion are you there?" Suddenly he's snapped from his memories and he's back to looking down at his brother whose trembling hands have cupped his cheeks to force his face towards him.
"I'm here mon étoile, I'm always here, always brother." Regulus croaked as he moved to lay beside Sirius who could barely open his eyes to look at his baby brother whom he saw jump in front of him, he still remembers how Regulus dropped to the ground like a sandbag.
Such a small and fragile body had tried to protect him.
Sirius stared at the younger boy's face, watching the way Regulus fought to keep his eyes open, giving him his most devoted attention, "I have something to confess brother... I was beginning to think you were pulling away from me- I-I thought... I thought mother had finally wormed her way inside your head or that maybe you were just too scared to talk to me anymore, I don't know but I was scared that I had lost my baby brother." The words seemed to just fall out one after another, confessing the thoughts that had plagued his mind for the past few weeks.
"No, I would never, not in this lifetime and not in the next, no matter the cost, everything I do is for you mon étoile, that woman is no family of mine, no mother of ours. Her name is nothing but a formality, you are my family, my brother." Fiercer words couldn't be said as he looked at his brother through limp eyes, he needed Sirius to know where he stood, that he belonged next to him and not hidden away behind his parents, not after tonight.
That night changed things between Regulus and Sirius, they both knew where one another stood, no matter what happened in the light of day, the night belonged purely to them. Even when they had to feed into their parent's ideals and racist opinions, the two of them knew better and it was only two months before Regulus would have to bid Sirius goodbye as he boarded the train to Hogwarts.
A week later Regulus sat down and planned, because while Sirius would be gone, it'd just be him and the shadows that plagued this house like a curse, and he desperately needed a survival plan, a plan for both him and his brother.
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Things began to change after that night, Regulus started to get into more trouble, and he didn't give room for Sirius to try and protect him anymore. But it did result in Regulus being so badly injured that he couldn't join his brother to go shopping for his school necessities and his very own wand, now that part upset Regulus.
It was worse when Sirius tried to use his wand against their mother which resulted in it being taken away and hidden, although Regulus would always end up finding it again for his brother.
Yet, all those months of learning new spells and practising with his brother seemed to pass them by until finally, the day came when he had to say goodbye to his brother. Suddenly all that preparation didn't matter anymore as he stood on the platform watching as children all hugged their parents goodbye for the next couple of months until the Yule holidays.
Nothing could prepare his heart for the dull ache that was stabbing into him as he now had to say goodbye to the most constant source of happiness he'd had for 10 years, but it also meant that now his brother could go and make friends outside of his mother and father's field of view.
"Petit lion, I can see you worrying." Came his brother's voice from behind him, startingly him out of the daze he'd been in.
"It's hard not to, what with a brain and all, but I know it's hard for you to imagine what it's like with a head as hollow as--." Regulus didn't get the chance to finish before Sirius lifted his hand and smacked the back of his head.
"Yes yes, we all know how much you love to show off your brain Reggie." Regulus watched as Sirius rolled his eyes and walked off towards the crowded train.
Walking through the train of students from all years was a new experience, many students didn't even so much as glance at him as they busied themselves with finding their friends and catching them up with events that would've taken over the summer holidays.
"Ah, over here Reggie, this one's empty," Sirius called out to Regulus who was just a few cabins back, he quickly side-stepped past a few oncoming students to reach his brother who had already charmed his trunk to put itself away.
"So the Undetectable Extension charm we put on there works fine? And what about that muffling spell I taught you in case you have nightmares, you really don't want your roommates sticking their noses into that mess just yet." Regulus stated as he ran through some more spells with Sirius that he'd found for all kinds of situations his brother may find himself in.
"Yes, Reggie calm down, you made me a list remember? We've been learning spells and charms for years now, but I promise to write to you if I get into any trouble with anything okay." Sirius declared as he gripped Regulus's shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug.
He couldn't believe he'd be at Hogwarts this year while his baby brother was stuck dealing with that house of horrors by himself, he knew they'd been expecting it and getting ready, they already have a way to communicate in case their parents try to cut them off, it still didn't help with the panic that ate away at his heart.
"Just - Just take care of yourself for me petit lion, because I may end up burning Hogwarts to the ground if I find out that they so much as scratched you, I'll also owl you daily so you'll know everything that's happening with me here." Regulus could only stare as he felt a sudden burden being placed on him.
He knew his brother would refuse to go to Hogwarts if he even had the smallest inkling of what Regulus planned to do for an entire year with Sirius gone. So all he could do was smile and hug Sirius back as tightly as he could, whilst swallowing the words that were burning on the tip of his tongue.
"Je t'aime, mon étoile." He whispered in the safety of his brother's arms before pulling back to look at Sirius one last time.
"Et je toi petit lion." Regulus could hear the fierce affection behind his words, "It's time for the dreaded farewells it seems," Sirius jokingly said, but Regulus knew better. He knew how nervous his brother was to be away from him, he knew how little Sirius wanted to leave even knowing he'd have his own freedom in Hogwarts, Sirius just hated that it came at the cost of leaving him behind.
Both boys made their way off of the train with their masks carefully slipped back into place and their heads held high, neither bothered to acknowledge the heads which turned wide-eyed to stare at the two of them like owls.
Regulus couldn't fault them for their actions however, as most purebloods and half-borns knew who the Black brothers were but had never seen them up close in person before, while the other half were probably distracted by their carefully constructed and flawless outfits that were paired to match.
Not to mention the androgynous beauty that was a common factor in the Black family, which surprisingly, hadn't been ruined by their continued infectious inbreeding.
Thankfully the crowd seemed to part for them as they quietly stalked up to their parents who both wore matching smiles that screamed both polite and fake to those who knew where to look.
"You do this family proud Sirius, stay on top of your grades and do not embarrass us." His mother hissed quietly as her hand lifted to rest on Sirius's shoulder, only to dig her claws in and break the skin on his shoulder.
Sirius didn't so much as flinch as he returned her sickeningly sweet smile with one of his own, turning his head, he nodded to his father before turning around and walking back to his cabin without even a side glance back. They both knew that had he looked back, neither one would have let go of the other.
It was already taking up all of Regulus's willpower to not run onto the train after his brother, he didn't need to see Sirius's longing, it'd break him in an instant. But with Sirius's departure began Regulus's year of personalised torture, because from the minute he stepped back into his house, he let loose of every restraint he had, every doubt.
No longer would Regulus hold back like he once did, he didn't even know if he still could anymore, his rage has been bubbling for years, always seeming to shimmer and flare around his other emotions like it was trying to devour them.
And maybe that should've been a hint, a hint that he was already succumbing to the famously known 'Black Madness' because what kind of ten-year-old imagines their anger eating all of his other emotions until that's all he had left?
Maybe once he either murders his parents or locks them away, he should visit a mind healer.
For now, he's spent far too much time being afraid of his parents, afraid of what they could do to him or Sirius, not now though, because they could only hurt him so much, and If they killed him? There was no doubt in his mind that Sirius would chase them out of the Wizarding community like the rabid dog that he is.
As he's still breathing, seemingly at least, he'll continue to collect memories and evidence of their abuse until he has too much evidence that the Wizengamot won't be able to deny him of their freedom.
Unless, of course, they wanted to lose their jobs from the outrage it'd cause from all sides.
And yes, Regulus knew he would most likely be spending every day on the floor under a Cruico curse until his brain started to melt from the inside and stream out his ears, but that was okay because he knew his brother and his brother was nothing if not stubborn.
There was no way somebody like him would end up in Slytherin.
No, there was only one house that would be able to contain a wildfire like him, and it just happened to be the most hated house in this family, so by all means, it was time to steal the spotlight his parents seemed to have Sirius melting-under.
It was time for him to step up and be a better brother, to start protecting Sirius instead of cowering behind him like a child.
If only it gave him just a few more moments of freedom, then Regulus would more than willingly go through the pain that his parents have been putting Sirius through for half of his life, he was ready, for his brother, his étoile.
'la famille est pour toujours' He thought before he walked into the dining room.
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Not too far down the platform was a young boy with golden skin and unrelenting dark curls, were a pair of honey-brown eyes trailing after Regulus's disappearing figure, "Mom, who's that boy down there, the pretty one." He asked as his mind seemed mesmerised with watching the retreating boy.
Euphemia was startled from her fussing as she quickly looked in the direction her son, James was looking, but finding a boy who was 'pretty' was hard to do with so many people crowding the station. Eventually, she caught sight of what had stolen away James's attention but was further stunned by just who her son was gazing at, "The Black's...?"
That finally caught James's attention as he spun around to his mother, "A Black? Really?" He asked curiously.
From all the stories he'd heard about them while at parties, he thought they'd fit the image of a villain better, but he never thought they'd be so pretty. Especially that boy just now in the impeccable black suit, it contrasted greatly with his milky pale skin and highlighted the perfectly styled dark curls on the top of his head, much unlike his unruly ones. Not a hint of colour could be seen, from his shoes to his hair, it was like looking at a black and white moving picture, but the boy had made it look so good.
"That would've been Regulus would it not?" Fleamont voiced to his wife, "Yes, the younger one, which means their eldest, Sirius should be attending his first year this year." She responded in kind before turning back to James, but he now had the name Sirius and Regulus on his mind.
Fleamont and Euphemia shared a knowing look between the two, it only lasted a second until Euphemia was all but rushing James onto the train and wishing him well for his future endeavours at Hogwarts.