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Chapp wasn’t sure who had been responsible for the horrific illness he had come down with, but when he found out, he was considering killing them. Not just because of how shit he felt - barely able to stand up without toppling over or throwing up - but also because of what being sick had meant for him. Because thanks to the fact that they were all overworked and stretched thin, it meant that the only person on base with any meaningful amount of medical training was fucking Tazu.
Why Tazu had ever bothered to even broach the medical field was beyond him. The man seemed to hate everyone, no matter who they were. He was 5 foot 8 of pure annoyance and arguing, and he made sure that it was everyone else’s problem.
He couldn’t even interact with anyone else - no one was entirely sure how contagious he was, so he was on strict orders to not spread it to anyone else. Which meant that Chapp was confined entirely to his room, Tazu his only company as he suffered through the worst sickness he had experienced in his life.
His only solace was the fact that Tazu was clearly not at all interested in looking after him either. Chapp may have been having a shit time, but at least the feeling was mutual.
“Rise and shine, dipshit,” said Tazu, rousing Chapp from his half asleep state, “it’s 11am, and you haven’t eaten, which means it’s breakfast time!”
Chapp groaned. “I don’t want to eat whatever nutrient dense bullshit you’re offering me. Can’t I just have a carton of applesauce and leave it at that?”
“You haven’t even looked at what I’m offering you!” complained Tazu, “I even made sure it was a good compromise. I brought you soup, and some bread, and you’re going to eat some of it, so help me God.”
“That’s hardly breakfast food, is it?” replied Chapp.
“It’s almost lunch time and you’ve been asleep for 10 hours. You’re getting soup for breakfast and you can suck it up.”
“Fine,” groaned Chapp, “hand it over.”
“You’re not even sitting up yet!” said Tazu, “I’m going to put it down, and then we’re going to prop you up, and then I’m going to sit here and make sure you don’t kill yourself choking on bread.”
“God, I hate you,” said Chapp, trying to pull himself up into a sitting position.
“Good,” said Tazu, “then the feeling is mutual.”
Tazu grabbed him underneath the arms without warning, pulling him the rest of the way up.
“God, you’re in shit shape aren’t you?” he commented, before handing Chapp the bowl of soup.
“Fuck off,” said Chapp, but there wasn’t much heat in it. He was far too sick for anything like that.
“Eat your damn food,” said Tazu, perching himself on Chapp’s desk to watch him eat.
So Chapp did, albeit slowly, eating away at the bowl of thick vegetable soup. Thankfully, it was about the consistency of applesauce, with no chewing involved unless he wanted to eat some bread, so at least Tazu had respected him on that front.
The next few minutes passed in awkward silence, Chapp eating his food and Tazu watching him. Neither one of them spoke, not particularly wanting another argument. Chapp tried to eat as quickly as he could, knowing that the sooner Tazu left, the sooner he could go back to sleep.
Once he was about three quarters of the way through the bowl - something that had taken arduously long - he knew that he was about at his limit. His stomach was weak from whatever bug he had, and he was fairly certain if he had any more he would vomit.
So he set the bowl down on his bedside table, looking up at Tazu.
“I’m done.”
“There’s still soup left,” said Tazu, “no you’re not.”
“If I eat anymore, I’m going to throw up.”
“You need to eat it,” said Tazu, “or you throwing up won’t matter, because you’ll die from a lack of nutrients.”
“You’re being overdramatic,” said Chapp, “we both know that’s not the case.”
“Eat the soup, Chapp.”
“No.”
“Fine,” said Tazu, “but I can’t leave until you do.”
Chapp stared Tazu down. The man was comically stubborn, especially when it came to proving Chapp wrong. But Chapp could be stubborn too, when he needed to be. And right now he was feeling especially pissed off with Tazu.
“Fine,” said Chapp, “have fun watching me sleep.”
Tazu didn’t respond beyond a sigh at that, but Chapp didn’t care much. Instead, he just lay back down, and let himself slip back into sleep.
When Chapp woke up, he was pleased to see that Tazu had left, taking the bowl of soup with him. The man may be stubborn, but he also still had things to do, and Chapp knew that his boredom would have easily won out in the end.
His head was foggy, and he wished that he had a bottle of water or something. Everything was a bit of a daze, and he had to admit that maybe Tazu had a point. He really did need all the nutrients he could get to ensure he didn’t get worse.
Not that he would admit that out loud, of course.
But still, he needed something to drink, and Tazu wasn’t here, and he couldn’t exactly just yell for him. His voice was already shot from being sick, and even if it wasn’t, there was no telling how far away Tazu was.
So he decided that he would simply make the journey to the kitchen to get something to eat and drink. Sure, maybe it wasn’t his best idea, but his clock said that it was the middle of the night, so it wasn’t like anyone would be up, which meant it also wasn’t the worst.
Tazu had told him a day or two ago that he seemed to be getting better, so Chapp took that as all the confirmation he needed that he would be fine.
As he pushed himself up onto shaky feet, Chapp felt a wave of dizziness crash over him. He braced himself on the table beside him, letting his head stop spinning before he continued. At least he didn’t feel the need to vomit.
Once his head had stopped spinning, he began to slowly shuffle his way across the room, holding on to furniture and leaning against the walls so that he could stay upright as he did so. It was slow going, but it was the best option he had.
After what felt like a kilometre or two of walking - but which rationally, he knew was only around 50 metres - he finally arrived in the kitchen, and he felt his legs begin to give out a little as the wave of relief crashed over him.
He braced himself on the kitchen counter, waiting until he could hold himself up with only one arm again. He knew there was no chance he would make it back to his room with a glass of water and food in his state, but that was fine. He could just eat and drink here, and then once he was refuelled, make the long journey back to his room.
Once he was steady again, he reached into the cupboard where the glasses were kept, pulling one out. His arm was shaky, like the rest of him, but he managed it without any issue. Filling it was a little difficult - he knew there was no shot of him being able to use both hands, so he settled instead on turning on the tap after setting the glass down, and only then holding it under the water. Sure, he got water on the outside of the glass too, but he didn’t really care. So long as he could finally drink something.
As he brought the glass up to his lips though, he discovered the issue. His hand was shaky, and the glass felt heavy in his hand, and it was just so slippery from the water.
Before he knew it, the glass was sliding out of his hand, crashing onto the floor beneath his feet with a horrible shattering noise. He braced both his hands against the counter again, terrified to move and slip in the water or slice his foot on the glass.
He felt like shit. Why had he thought this would be a good idea? He should have just waited for Tazu to come check in on him again in the morning. God, he was an idiot.
He heard footsteps from the hallway, and realised he had woken someone up. Fuck.
“Chapp?” asked Tazu, and he wanted to scream. Of fucking course it had to be Tazu.
Chapp didn’t know how to respond. It was all too overwhelming. His body ached, there was the glass and the water covering the floor so he couldn’t even move, and now Tazu was here witnessing it all.
So he did the only thing he could do, and he broke down into sobs.
“Shit, Chapp,” said Tazu, approaching him slowly, “what’s happening?”
His voice was much kinder than Chapp had ever heard it, and it was jarring almost. He wasn’t used to this from Tazu.
“It’s just-” he sniffled, “I just- Fuck! I just wanted water. Why did- Why did- It just-”
“Hey,” said Tazu, “shhhh, don’t stress too much. You’re sick. It’s not your fault you dropped the glass.”
Chapp only sobbed more at that. If Tazu was being this nice to him, it must mean he was really dying. Chapp was going to die here, in the kitchen, a pool of broken glass and water beneath him, and Tazu of all people the only witness to it.
“I’m going to take your hands now, okay?” said Tazu, “Then you can get out of that puddle so you don’t hurt yourself, yeah?”
Chapp nodded, still shaky, and Tazu took his hands in his.
“Easy there,” said Tazu, “we’re going to take this one step at a time, okay? I take one and you take one.”
Chapp nodded again, and Tazu took a step backwards. Chapp followed, eyes on the floor so he didn’t slice his foot open.
Tazu took another slow step, and Chapp followed, and they continued like that until they were well clear of the water.
“Good job,” said Tazu, and Chapp felt a little shitty. He was being talked to like a child. He felt pathetic, having to rely on Tazu so much right now.
“How stable are you right now?” asked Tazu, “The couch is only a few more steps away, do you think you can manage that just leaning on me? It might be easier than me walking backwards.”
Chapp nodded. “Y-yeah, think I can make that. M’sorry.”
“Don’t apologise,” said Tazu, “you’re sick. We all need some help when we’re sick.”
Then he laughed, and for a moment Chapp was afraid Tazu was about to start mocking him. But he didn’t, and somehow that was even more jarring.
“Hell, you should see me when I’m sick. If you think I’m annoying regularly, I don’t think you’d survive me sick.”
“That’s not- Don’t say that…” mumbled Chapp. He didn’t know why he was fighting the man on it - heaven knows he found the man deeply irritating - but it was upsetting to him that Tazu would say that. Maybe it was because he was being so kind to Chapp right now.
Whatever the case, Tazu mumbled out a quiet “Sorry.” before shifting so that he had one of
Chapp’s arms over his shoulder. And with that, they made the rest of the walk to the couch, Tazu carefully helping Chapp sit down.
As he laid back against the soft pillows, Chapp begun to sniffle again. He couldn’t help it, he felt like shit, and he was going to get those feelings out, Goddamnit.
“You okay there, Chapp?” asked Tazu.
“I’m just… I’m so cold, Tazu.” it hadn’t really been anything he’d noticed before, but lying on the couch, the stress of standing up relieved, Chapp was very aware of the fact that he was just in thin pyjamas, the cool air of the base penetrating them easily. He was still shaking, but this time it wasn’t because he could barely stand. It was because he was shivering from the cold.
Tazu took a step over to him, softly pressing his lips against his forehead for a moment. Chapp knew it was just to check his temperature, but he still felt himself freeze up as it happened. Between the sudden softness and the sheer intimacy of the act, Chapp was finding it hard to untangle his feelings about Tazu.
“Shit,” said Tazu, “yeah, you’re freezing.”
“Told you,” mumbled out Chapp.
“Okay,” said Tazu, “I’ll grab you a blanket, and then I’m going to clean up the mess in the kitchen, and then we can see about getting you something to drink, alright?”
“M’kay,” said Chapp. He was still shivering, so as long as Tazu dealt with that, he didn’t care what came after.
Tazu stepped out of the room for a moment, returning shortly after with a blanket, handing it to Chapp. He took it gratefully, spreading it out over himself. He was still cold, but with any luck that wouldn’t last long.
Tazu left again, presumably off to clean up Chapp’s mess. He still felt a bit shitty about that.
After a little while, Tazu returned, holding a cup of water. This time it was plastic, and Chapp hated that he hadn’t had the foresight to choose that himself.
“How are you feeling?” asked Tazu.
“Still cold,” said Chapp, “so cold.”
“That’s no good,” replied Tazu, “what are we going to do about that?”
“I dunno,” said Chapp, “but I can’t- It’s so cold, Tazu.”
Tazu pondered for a moment, and Chapp wondered what options he was considering. As much as he knew it would be the sensible choice, Chapp very much hoped that Tazu wouldn’t drag him back to bed.
Sure, it was warm, but he couldn’t stand being stuck in his room any longer. Maybe that was half of why he had dragged himself out here in the first place.
“Okay,” said Tazu, “shuffle in a bit.”
“What?” asked Chapp.
“Shuffle in a bit. The best way to warm you up is with body heat, and while I might be small, you’re a big fucker. I’m not going to fit unless you shift some.”
That was… unexpected. But Chapp did as he was told, because Tazu did seem to know what he was doing, and not following his advice had already gotten him into this situation it seemed, so he might as well let him try this.
And then Tazu was lifting the blanket up, joining Chapp on the couch and pressing himself up against Chapp. He was radiating warmth, and Chapp couldn’t help but lean into the touch.
“Better?” he asked.
“Yeah,” said Chapp, voice strained, “warm.”
“Good,” said Tazu, “now get some sleep. We can deal with everything else in the morning, okay?”
“Okay,” said Chapp. But he didn’t really want the morning to come anymore. For once, Tazu was being kind. And Chapp was realising very rapidly that his oh so strong feelings for the man weren’t quite the ones he had believed them to be.
A few days after Chapp had made the mistake of venturing out to the kitchen himself, the base had started to return to life. And with that life came actual medical staff.
Chapp was already doing a lot better, mostly spending his days half asleep, but no longer feeling like he might vomit after every meal. Tazu had told him when the medical staff returned that he’d probably be right as rain in a few more days, and that keeping him looked after was mostly just so he didn’t get anyone else sick with his unplanned kitchen visits.
Chapp didn’t like to think about why exactly Tazu no longer being the one to look after him had stung so much.
Right now, Tazu was outside his room, talking to the member of medical who was going to be keeping an eye on him. It felt ridiculous, being coddled so much, but there wasn’t much he could do about it except get better.
He heard the door swing open, but didn’t bother to open his eyes. They could assume he was asleep. It would get him out of talking, at least, which would be easier. Chapp didn’t really want to acknowledge how shitty this whole situation felt to him. Not to some poor sod who didn’t have a say in it.
“He’s been sleeping, mostly,” said Tazu, “wakes up at weird hours. Try and check in on him every few, to make sure he actually eats. Or at least leave something for him to have when he wakes up.”
“Sounds good,” said Chapp’s new babysitter, “anything else I need to know?”
“No,” said Tazu, “but understand that if you don’t look after him properly, I will make sure you lose your job. Okay? He’s already feeling shitty enough, I don’t need you making things worse.”
“Alright,” said the babysitter, sounding a little taken aback, “message received. Shall we leave him to sleep for now?”
“Yeah,” said Tazu, “that’s probably best. Don’t need to wake him up.”
Chapp could hear the two leaving then, the door opening, but he didn’t hear it close. Had they forgotten? But then there were footsteps again, approaching the bed, and a featherlight touch brushing some hair off his face.
“I’m sorry,” said Tazu, “shouldn’t have let things get so out of hand. You deserved better. Once you’re better I’m sure you’ll go back to hating me at full energy, and we can pretend this didn’t happen.”
Tazu stepped away again, and Chapp was sure he wasn’t supposed to have heard that. Tazu wasn’t exactly one to bare his soul like that.
So, before Tazu could leave, Chapp opened his eyes.
“Tazu,” he said, and even he could hear how groggy his voice was. God, was he tired.
“Shit,” said Tazu, “you doing okay, Chapp?”
“I love you,” said Chapp, “sorry.”
“Don’t-” began Tazu, cut off by his own laughter, a little hysterical. “Don’t fucking- Oh my God , Chapp.”
Chapp wasn’t at all sure what was going on. He wondered if this was a fever induced dream, and he was going to wake up with Tazu still curled around him on the couch.
“Jesus,” said Tazu, after he had calmed down, “you’re really losing it with that bug, aren’t you?”
“I’m serious, Tazu.” said Chapp.
“You’re out of it,” said Tazu, “you hate me. We both know this.”
“And you hate me.” said Chapp, “Doesn’t change how you’ve been acting since I got sick.”
“How bad do you think my bedside manner is, Chapp?” Tazu asked, “I can look after a patient, whether I like them or not.”
“You like me,” said Chapp, “maybe not as much as I like you, but you do. Go on a date with me.”
Tazu laughed again, beginning to sound more than just a bit hysterical.
“You’re out of it completely,” said Tazu, “but if you’re so sure of it, come ask me again when you’re not dying. Then we can reconsider.”
“Okay,” said Chapp, “I’ll see you then.”
Chapp didn’t change his mind about how he felt about Tazu. He was all the more confident, in fact, as he finally regained his full sanity as he recovered, that Tazu felt the same way. Because he’d seen Tazu work on the field. Seen the way he worked on injuries, on people managing to get hypothermia or gunshot wounds, or any number of other things.
And Tazu had never behaved like he did with Chapp.
He was always full of snark - the only difference was how it presented. If you were going to live, Tazu was just as mean as ever, berating you for managing to get injured or sick, and lecturing you on all the things you could have done to avoid it. If he thought you might not survive, he was a lot more frantic in his cruelty, skin deep insults that never hit home and betrayed how afraid he was.
The one time Chapp had seen Tazu confident someone would die, he was the cruellest of them all. It didn’t cut through at all though, because he was practically sobbing. He berated the poor kid, bleeding out where he’d had half his body blown apart by an explosive, lecturing him on every single mistake he made. It was the logical extension of everything else Chapp had ever seen from him, and it was terrifying.
And yet not once, not at any level of severity, had Chapp ever seen Tazu so sincerely kind in dealing with a patient. He was kind in his actions, sure, but never his words. Tazu wasn’t vulnerable enough for that. So why else would Chapp be any different?
When he knocked on Tazu’s door, it was that newfound confidence that made sure he didn’t shrink when Tazu laughed just at the sight of him.
“Recovered, have you?” asked Tazu, and Chapp nodded.
“Came to talk to you. About that date.”
“What,” said Tazu, “wanted to do me the dignity of letting me know in person you weren’t interested? I can take a hint, you know.”
“Nah,” said Chapp, “came to take you up on it. Still love you.”
Tazu stared blankly up at him.
“Well?” asked Chapp.
“Fuck it,” said Tazu, “either you’re taking the piss, or you’re serious. Either way, I win by dragging you in here and watching a shitty movie with you.”
And then Chapp was grabbed by the collar, the door slamming shut behind him as Tazu tugged him onto his bed.
It was a familiar feeling, as Tazu laid down beside him, pulling a definitely not regulation laptop from underneath his bed and loading up a very dodgy looking website.
“This your idea of wooing me?” asked Chapp.
“Nah,” said Tazu, “figured we could skip past that shit. You like me enough already. We’re watching bad movies together and you’re not allowed to leave.”
“Perfect,” said Chapp, “means I don’t have to pay attention to the screen.”
Tazu blushed a little at that, and that was all the confirmation Chapp needed.
“Fuck off, you dickhead.” replied Tazu.
Scratch that. Tazu able to insult him again was all he needed. What was love without a few cruel jabs, after all?