Work Text:
"You seem to be happy brother, if only you would have realized you were in love with the lady before proposing to her sister, the whole mess of last season could have been avoided" Colin commented with a smirk.
Toasting his brother's impending wedding in the morning to the lady Kate Sharma, the brothers had chosen to spend the evening at Mondrich's. Colin had arrived from his travels just this afternoon, and he couldn't help but tease his brother a little bit.
"You will see in time that one doesn't always act in sensible ways when in love" Anthony scolded.
He took a long sip of his bourbon before responding, "Never brother. After being fooled by Marina, I've resolved to never let myself be put in that position again."
"True love will change your mind brother," Benedict chuckled. "You are a romantic if there ever was one on this earth."
"That a woman brought me up, I give her most humble thanks. But because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust none. So I will remain a bachelor."
"I shall see you, within the year, look pale with love." Anthony scoffed.
Colin shook his head, smiling, "With anger, possibly; with sickness, perhaps; with hunger, most definitely. Not with love, Anthony."
"One day, a lightning bolt will strike and you will change your mind," Benedict insisted.
He shrugged his shoulders. "Then I will be sure to avoid thunder storms at all cost."
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
In the drawing room of Bridgerton house, the matriarch of the family, Violet Bridgerton, sat with her daughters, Eloise and Francesca, along with their good friend Penelope Featherington.
Violet had seemed to give up sparking interest in Eloise to court, so she turned to her other daughter. "Now, Francesca, you must make a good impression on the gentleman of the ton, and you must make sure to give consideration to any offer from a good gentleman of the ton."
Penelope held in a small smile. Violet was the most determined of the mamas of the ton to see her children happily married in their first season. "Yes, it is her duty to be pleasant and say 'Mother, as it pleases you.' But for all that, Franny, I hope you find a handsome fellow, or else say 'Mother, as it pleases me'."
Eloise snickered in her chair, nearly making tea come out of her nose.
Violet turned to the girl who was once a shy wallflower and felt pride swell in her, even if she was contradicting her somewhat. Still, she raised her eyebrow, bringing her cup up to her lips to sip her tea, saying "I know that we all hope to see you betrothed to a fine gentleman this upcoming season."
"No, Lady Bridgerton." She quickly mastered her tone so that the hint of sorrow that appeared in her voice was overtaken by a mischievous smirk. "As the bible says, we are all born of Adam and Eve, so all men are my brethren, and I believe it is a sin to marry my kin."
"I'm sure Penelope just jests, mama," Francesca giggled.
She turned more serious. She really should find a man to marry this season. "I have a good eye; I can see a church by daylight."
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
Arriving at the church for the wedding of his brother Anthony, Colin hoped this second attempt would go off without a hitch.
Searching the crowd automatically for a flash of red hair, Colin's heart leapt when he saw her. Penelope looked lovely as always, but something seemed different this time. He had seen her just briefly when he arrived home, but she hadn't seen him even though he had waved at her rather broadly in the street. And he wasn't able to call on her to check in on how she had been doing all these months because of getting caught up in wedding preparations.
During his short glimpse of her yesterday, she was wearing one of her older gowns with added plants attached. But tonight, she was in an emerald green dress, the new style of the dress bringing out her hidden beauty.
He crossed the room, possibly bumping into several members of the ton as he headed toward his destination, directly to his friend.
"Good day to you, Pen. It's so wonderful to see you after so long." It was good to say out loud, even though it was almost unnecessary as he couldn't keep the beaming smile off his face.
"Hello, Mister Bridgerton." She gave a stiff curtsy, her eyes looking briefly at him before turning away.
Her cold welcome made him remember the day he returned from Greece. His heart had leapt in his throat then too, but her greeting had been utterly different. It had been warm and he'd nearly lost sense of all propriety to bring her into an embrace. And although he still wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around his friend, her formal and icy response was a larger barrier to that then propriety ever had been.
She clearly was upset with him. But about what? Then a thought occurred to him.
" Pen. I believe my letters over the past few months must have somehow gone astray in transit." He bent down attempting to catch her eye. "Please, believe me, I have not forgotten about you in the least while I was away." He grasped her hand, feeling a warmth run up his hand where he touched her all the way up to his heart. "In fact, it was quite the opposi–"
"Mr. Bridgerton, you must release my hand at once. It is not proper."
Obeying her request, he felt the loss of warmth from her touch immediately. "Pen, please let me explain. You're clearly upset with me and it's all been a misunderstanding."
"There has been no misunderstanding. I had thought you were my friend, but I heard your declaration last season that anyone would be a fool to think you'd ever consider courting me."
Seeing some tears on the brink of coming to the surface, he helplessly watched as he saw her fight to control them while she took a deep breath. "And while you have every right to your feelings, you could have acted in a more gentlemanly way about them, especially while in front of your peers. Please refrain from speaking to me in the future."
She gave another stiff curtsy before turning and walking away from him to a pew as far away from him as possible.
He didn't know how long he stood still, unable to move, unable to breathe, when his brother Benedict ushered him outside the church doors.
Benedict put a hand on his shoulder, concern etched on his face. "You look like you need a moment of fresh air."
After regaining his breath, he mumbled, "I stood like a man at a mark with a whole army shooting at me. She speaks and every word stabs."
Benedict didn't seem surprised as he asked softly, "Miss Featherington, you mean?"
He rubbed his forehead in confusion. "Ben, I don't even remember saying what she claims to have heard me say."
His brother gripped his shoulder, whispering, "Believe me, brother, I was there. She heard you correctly. You thoroughly bungled things up. But I'm sure she will forgive you in time."
"She does not wish to speak to me or even hear my side of things. All this time, I wrote her letter after letter and she probably never even read them!" He raked his hands through his hair, his frustration growing, whether it be at her or at himself, he was unsure. "If she will not even allow me to try to make amends, there's no point in attempting to regain our friendship."
Without another word, he stormed back into the church to busy himself with groomsman duties.
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
After the wedding, the Bridgertons arrived back at the house. Colin looked across the street before making his excuses, rather gruffly, that he was feeling unwell and would not be joining the rest of the family for their meal. The family stared slackjaw as they watched Colin go to his room and slam the door.
Violet was the first to break the silence. "How strange."
Eloise mumbled, "Maybe bad moods are catching? Penelope seemed quite unlike herself today as well."
Benedict sighed. "I believe they might need our help. I don't think they've fully realized how in love they both are with each other."
At the same time, his sister and mother had quite opposite reactions.
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, you have noticed it as well?"
"I think I might have a plan," Benedict's smile grew, "but I will need your help."
Violet's smile matched his own. "Of course, dear."
He looked to Eloise pleadingly before she huffed, "I still am not sure if I agree with your hypothesis, but I will do anything I am able to help my friend find happiness. Although I still don't see how meddling to match her with Colin could meet that end."
"Now Eloise, your brother is noble and honest and good," Violet defended before continuing, "even if he has been foolish to not realize his feelings sooner."
"I suppose so," she grumbled.
Benedict looked between his mother and sister. "I assure you, he is beginning to. All he needs is a bit of a push. If we can do this, Cupid's glory shall be ours," he cocked his eyebrow, "for we are the only love gods."
That brought a smirk to everyone's faces, including Eloise. So Benedict began sharing his plan to bring his brother together with the clever redhead from across the street.
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
Colin went to Mondrich's club the day after his brother's wedding to escape Anthony's incessant gushing over his bride.
It was strange to see his brother Anthony so changed since falling in love with Kate. Anthony had always spoken plain and to the purpose, and now his words were a fantastical banquet. What was once all seriousness had become filled with mirth. Colin hadn't seen Anthony behave this way since he was a child.
Would he ever be so touched by love? He thought he had loved Marina, but he realized he never had. He had just been a fool. However, he couldn't imagine himself ever finding a woman to make him feel in love. On his travels, he thought he might meet someone who would cultivate those feelings in him, the kind that he expected love to feel like. Some women were beautiful, but he felt nothing. Some were intelligent, but he felt nothing. Some were kind, but he felt nothing.
The only people he still yearned to speak to were his family and of course his friend, Pen. Although, he reminded himself bitterly, she no longer wished to be his friend.
Noticing his brothers Anthony and Benedict approaching, he scurried to the other corner in the room in hopes they would not see him. He was not in good spirits to hear the gushing of love from Anthony at the moment.
He watched as his brothers spoke to one another. Curiosity got the best of him and, for a moment, he tried to strain his ears to hear. Luckily, their volume suddenly increased tenfold.
"You really think that Penelope is in love with Colin?" Anthony moved to sit at a table nearby. "I would have thought her more sensible than that."
"I know, Anthony. I cannot tell what to think of it, but I'm sure that she loves him with a flaming passion."
Is this really possible? His heartbeat began to race.
"It would be a stroke of luck for Colin if this was true, but how are you sure, Ben?"
"Eloise told me of it. Miss Featherington had confided in her the day he went wandering off on his travels again."
"Oh that silly boy and his travels." Anthony took a long sip of his ale before continuing, "Has she made her affection known to Colin yet?"
"No, and she swears she never will. She is up twenty times a night, and she writes again and again, words she'll never actually let him read. Eloise saw her tear a letter into a thousand pieces as she fell down upon her knees, weeping," Then Benedict began acting out the rest, "beating her heart, crying out “O sweet Colin!"
Anthony shook his head before interrupting Benedict's elaboration. "Someone should tell Colin of it if Miss Featherington will not."
"To what end? He would make a sport of it and torment the poor lady worse; she deserves better than that. She’s an excellent, lovely woman and she is kind."
"And she is exceedingly wise," Anthony added.
"In everything but in loving Colin. I wish she had bestowed this affection on me. I would have proposed immediately. I think it is good that Colin doesn't know of her love as he'll scorn it. As you know, he was contemptible at the Featherington ball."
"Ah, yes, but he does have a few good qualities. Colin shows some sparks that are like wit. He has a bit of charm."
Benedict let out a long breath. "I love Colin, but I wish he would modestly examine himself to see how much he is unworthy of so good a lady."
"Let us head for home; I'm sure dinner will be on the table soon." Anthony and Benedict's voices became softer as they walked out of Mondrich's, grins overtaking their faces.
His mind was going in so many directions he felt dizzy as he stood up, wandering out of Mondrich's and back out on the street towards home.
Pen loves me? My brothers say I will scorn her if I knew of it. It's true that I never thought I would marry after what had occured in the past. They say she is lovely and kind; I am more than well aware of that. I have known that she is beautiful and very good since we first met; and she is witty. That's why I've always appreciated her friendship. And she is wise, but for loving me. I feel as though a fog has dissipated and I finally see I am in love with her! I may have said foolish things about never falling in love to my brothers the other night, but doesn't the appetite alter? The food I turned away as a silly boy, I'd think it a travesty to not taste today. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.
As Colin found himself suddenly outside his family home, he looked across the street and saw his Pen quickly crossing the street towards him. She was a vision in seafoam green.
Here comes my Pen. By this day, she’s a beautiful goddess.
"Good evening, Pen." Just saying her name brought him such joy. But hadn't it always? How had he not realized his feelings before?
"Mr. Bridgerton, I've already told you, you should refrain from speaking to me," she huffed. But if you must, you should call me Miss Featherington, as is proper."
"I apologize, Miss Featherington," he said with a smirk. "What brings you to this side of the street?"
"Your family invited me to dinner in front of my mama, so there was nothing to do but accept."
"I'm glad you did." Then allowing a brief glance to fully take her in, his breath hitched. "You look absolutely lovely, Miss Featherington."
She rolled her eyes. "There is no need for false pleasantries, Mr. Bridgerton. Against my will, I suppose I must see you inside, good night." With that, she walked briskly into the house.
Waiting to get his bearings before following her inside, his mind went over their brief conversation.
'Against my will, I suppose I must see you inside.' There's a double meaning in that. She cannot keep her eyes from finding me, as mine always have sought her out. But she still wishes me not to know of it. I must find a way to make her see my true affection and ardent love.
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
This evening's dinner was one of the strangest in Penelope Featherington's life. Each Bridgerton took turns giving her odd looks. Especially Colin. Thankfully, he seemed to be following her request and avoided speaking to her directly. However, that did not stop him from continually speaking to his family members throughout the meal, complimenting her person. He was working extremely hard to earn back his charming personna.
When their eyes would mistakenly meet and she would turn away, she'd see from the corner of her eye that he looked like a puppy who had been kicked. It was infuriating. Why did he get to act hurt when she was the injured party?
Near the end of the evening, the men went into one room for brandy and the ladies went into the drawing room for port.
She slipped away to use the chamber pot, and returning to the drawing room, she heard something that made her freeze right outside the doorway.
"But are you sure that Colin loves Penelope so entirely?" she heard Eloise's voice loud and clear asking this and rather than interrupting this line of conversation, she instead took refuge by a potted plant.
"Anthony and Benedict spoke to me of it in the past," Violet responded. "And if there had been any doubt before in my mind, his behavior since his return has certainly dispelled it. He is madly in love."
"Should we speak to her and let her know?" Francesca asked.
Eloise cut in, speaking with great speed, "No, you've seen the way she has acted towards him recently. He must try to squash those feelings. Penelope is too proud when she has been hurt and whatever transpired last season must have been bad enough to damage his chance with her forever."
"I suppose you are right, Eloise. It is best that she not know of his love. He is a good person, no matter what mistake he made last season. I do not want him to be mocked."
Violet let out a long heavy sigh. "He has always been the kindest of your brothers; he really is very much like your father. Colin, like Edmund, is compassionate, charming, witty, and so loving. If only Penelope could see it and return his affections. It would put him out of his misery."
"I do not see that happening in the near future with how angry Penelope seems to be," Francesca mumbled sadly.
"And I've never seen Colin so despondent. His appetite is cut in half, he is stomping around, staying isolated from us. He needs to endeavor to forget all about her to regain any semblance of happiness," Eloise argued.
"Do not do your friend such a wrong!" Violet insisted. "Penelope cannot be so much without true judgment, having so swift and excellent a wit as she is prized to have, as to refuse so rare a gentleman as your brother when he loves her so completely."
Can this be true? If Colin loves me, it is requited. I have loved him since the day we met. But what if they are mistaken and he does not? How could someone say what he said last season when they are in love?
She felt tears stinging the back of her eyes and realized that she was still in the hallway where anyone could see her, and she did not wish to be seen crying. So without much thought, she rushed into the library to find as much solace being surrounded by books as she could. However, tears still flowed down her cheeks as so many conflicting emotions consumed her.
She did not know how long she had been in the library when she heard a familiar baritone voice murmur softly, "Pe–Miss Featherington, have you wept all this time?
"Yes, and I will weep a while longer" she sniffled.
"I do not desire that." He moved to her in two long strides, now mere inches away.
She looked up and met with his kind eyes. "Why? I do it freely."
"I do love nothing in the world so well as you." His thumb began to catch her tears as he gently stroked the pads along her cheeks. His lopsided smile appeared as he added, "Isn't that strange?"
"It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you," she broke away from him, beginning to pace the room as she continued feeling muddled up, "but believe me not, and yet I do not lie; I confess nothing, but I deny nothing."
"By God, Penelope, you love me!" he exclaimed, sounding more surprised at her than she was.
She was once again frozen in place. "I was about to protest that I loved you."
He took in a breath, walking slowly to meet her where she stood. "Then do it with all your heart."
She couldn't fight it any longer, finally confessing, "I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest."
As she spoke, he had wrapped his arms around her, and once finished, he captured her lips in a sweet kiss.
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
The next morning, waiting for the time where it would be appropriate for him to call on his Pen, he tried to write her a beautiful poem to show her his love. However he had some trouble finding rhymes for Penelope. No, he was not born under a rhyming planet.
Maybe she would not mind an early visitor? And I do so long to see her.
Making quick work of going across the street, he was shown into the Featherington drawing room by Briarly who looked as though he did not quite approve of him coming by to call at this hour.
A few minutes later, his love appeared in the doorway like a ray of sunshine. "You do realize it is only 6 o'clock in the morning and my family has not yet awoken?"
"Sweet Penelope, thank you for coming to see me when I call on you."
A mischievous smile grew on her face. "Yes, Mr. Bridgerton and I will depart when you bid me."
Walking toward her, he spoke low, "Oh, do stay till then!"
“'Then' is spoken. Farewell," she joked, pivoting away, but he caught her shoulders, turning her back around to him.
Leading her gently but firmly to the settee, he guided her to sit and then took his place next to her. He picked up her hand, drawing circles along her smooth skin as he rumbled, "Tell me, for which of my bad parts did you first fall in love with me?"
She seemed to take a moment to consider before answering, "For them all together. For which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me?"
He chuckled, "I do suffer love indeed, for I love you against my will."
He began leaving a trail of kisses along her shoulder and neck as she began speaking with great effort. "In spite of your heart, I think. But, if you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for yours, for I will never love what you hate."
Speaking with his lips against her delicate skin, "You and I are too witty to woo peaceably."
"And you truly wish to court me?" she asked anxiously.
He was taken aback that she still wasn't sure of his affections. He met her eyes, and replied strong and clear, "Yes, truly. Pen, I love you."
"You do know that means you will be required to be around my family," she mumbled, looking down at her hands. "Now is the time to do it if you wish to change your mind before anyone in my family hears of it and you are trapped."
He kissed her tenderly on her forehead before he brought her chin up to look into her eyes, hoping she could see all the love he felt. "Pen, I will live in your heart, die in your lap, and be buried in your eyes—and, moreover, I will go with you to speak with your mother."
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
Penelope was invited again to Bridgerton house for dinner that night, but this time, both her mother and her sister Prudence were to come as well.
As the dinner was coming to an end, Colin asked from across the table, "Penelope?"
She waited for him to continue before it was clear that he intended her to respond somehow. "I answer to that name. What is it?" she asked cautiously.
"Don't you love me?" The entire table's conversations came to an abrupt halt as all eyes turned to the pair.
What is he thinking? How could he be asking me this in front of both our families?
She cleared her throat. "Why no," but she couldn't bear to leave it at that, so she added "no more than reason."
"Then, Anthony and Benedict have been deceived. They swore you did." Some coughs were heard from the other side of the table.
Straightening her spine, she asked "Don't you love me?"
"No, no more than reason," he parroted.
"Well then, Francesca, Eloise and your mother are much deceived, for they did swear you did." She was sure to emphasize the fact that she had three witnesses while he had merely two.
"They swore that you were almost sick for me."
"They swore that you were nearly dead for me."
"Then you," he hesitated, his voice slightly shaky, "do not love me?"
"No, I do," she answered quickly before thinking. Then still uncomfortable announcing that to everyone, she added a half truth to save face, "you are my friend."
Her mother scoffed, rather loudly, "Come, Penelope, I am sure you love the man."
"And I’ll be sworn that he loves her, for here’s a paper written in his hand; a sonnet of his own about Miss Featherington." Benedict took a paper from his pocket, waving it for all to see.
"And here’s another, written in my best friend's hand, stolen from her pocket, containing her affection for Colin." Eloise showed a familiar piece of parchment, and Penelope felt into her empty pocket where the letter should have been.
She considered taking it from Eloise, but Benedict was more in reach and her curiosity was increasing about Colin's sonnet. So she grasped the other as Colin grabbed hers from Eloise.
"Here’s our own hands against our hearts. Come, I will have you for my wife, as you are so madly in love with me, it's the only gentlemanly thing to do," he teased.
"I would not deny you, but only to save your life, for you write you cannot live without me."
"I will stop your mouth." He did just that. He brought his lips to meet hers and she felt a shiver run down her spine as they shared a passionate kiss. This was quickly becoming her favorite way to have a conversation be put at an end.
After a few blissful moments, he pulled back slightly, ending the kiss as she had to stop herself from whimpering at the loss of his lips. Not taking his eyes from her for an instant, he asked, "Frannie, could you play something for us? I would very much like to dance with my wife." He held his hand out expectantly to her.
Taking his proffered hand, she shook her head. "I am not your wife yet, Mr. Bridgerton," she giggled.
"Semantics, my love."