Chapter Text
Hotaru’s POV
“They’ve managed to copy the sealing techniques properly, which is impressive for the first day.” I state, settling down across from Reikuri and Taijima with a sigh, they both perk up, “Tomorrow I can begin explaining how to set up the seals in the surgery room to suspend a patient in stasis for dangerous operations like open-heart surgery or skin-replacement surgery or multiple-limb amputations-”
“Stasis?” Reikuri breathes out, eyes wide, I pause, hands mid-massage on my temples, and realize that I closed my eyes to focus, and quickly open them. Both adults are staring at me with Sharingan active - wow, I’m rusty, I didn’t even notice those activate - and Taijima is slightly slack-jawed. “You know how to use Uzushio’s stasis seal?”
“Yeah?” I raise an eyebrow, sighing deeply, “I take it Uzushio is not big on sharing their medical seals yet?”
“Anything involving seals is locked down tighter than our Sharingan.” Taijima states, blinking rapidly, looking surprised and mildly horrified, “Where did you learn this?”
“For some reason,” I sigh, Obito places a hand on my back, and I lean into him as he kneels next to me, “I am highly resistant to most anesthetics and most of the seals they use to assist in surgery don’t work on me. We think it’s due to how they interact with Nature Chakra and the naturally heightened levels I have due to both my parentage and my own bonding so anytime I’m injured enough to need surgery, I usually need to be put in stasis or be Sealed in some way so that treatment can be administered before the Nature Chakra heals me with the bones in the wrong position or worse.”
“That’s horrible!” Reikuri gasps, Taijima looks sick, all I can do is shrug as Obito rubs my back soothingly.
“It’s the only solution anyone has found.” I state bluntly, “Besides, it gave me knowledge of Seals, so I can’t really complain.”
“Yes,” Taijima argues, “You can. That sounds agonizing, Dragon, you absolutely can complain. You’re nineteen - you would have been a child when you memorized this.”
“So? There are children younger than me that died because they didn’t know medical Jutsu.” I shrug again, and I purposefully ignore their point - I don’t want to acknowledge that. I don’t want to see that, talk about that. “If it helps me get home to my little brother, then I don’t particularly care what I have to go through to learn it.”
“H-Dragon,” Obito says heavily, I twitch, the urge to smack him for the slip-up rising strong and fast, but I hold off by the barest degree of self-control. “You do know that if you didn’t have your brood mare’s Seal in your forehead, you would’ve died the first time you stepped out of Konoha, right?”
“Oh, I would’ve died long before that, Obito.” I deadpan, leaning back into his hand with a soft huff of laughter. “Now, we need to discuss what level of combat-application you want me to add to the lessons-”
“Combat application?” Taijima asks, face going pale, Obito inhales between his teeth,
“What type of village did you come from?” Reikuri whispers, hands covering her mouth and tears in her eyes. I glance over at Obito silently, he has his head bowed, jaw clenched, and his eyebrows are knit together like he’s pissed. I grab his free hand and turn back to Taijima and Reikuri.
Uchiha Obito’s POV
“Medical jutsu actually has quite a bit of combat application, once you reach a certain level of knowledge, Clan Head-sama.” Hotaru’s voice is even, completely calm, like she isn’t admitting that she learned this through first-hand-experience.
(I can feel your rage from the Senji Compound.)
(Did you know about this?)
(No, but you need to chill or you’re gonna give Tobirama a heart attack.)
(Oh, the horror.)
(He’s seventeen, you ass!)
(Do I need to remind you of what he’s capable of without Hotaru’s help? Because she only got here six months ago.)
(Yeah, well, Sakura got here a decade ago and decided the timeline needed to be hauled out to curb with the rest of the trash, SO-)
(That pink menace concerns me.)
I give Hotaru’s hand a gentle squeeze, carefully running my thumb over her knuckles as I breathe through the anger. I try to use breathing exercises that Sasuke suggested during his last visit, but the brat never stays long enough to tell me whether or not something actually works.
(Keep doing whatever you’re doing.)
(What?)
(The darkness in your chakra is…not as big? No, that’s not it. Uh-)
(Could you put some EFFORT in, Bakakashi?!)
(Listen! It’s a bit hard to think when your chakra is a hair’s breath away from Killing Intent, but I know it’s not, and I’m THIS USED TO IT.)
“-Obito is now, officially, a member of the main branch family-”
“Wait, what?” I interrupt quickly, looking up at Hotaru, she stares at me blankly, “What do you mean, I’m a member of the Main Branch? I can’t be a member of the Main Branch family-”
“I need an heir.” Hotaru deadpans, my blood runs cold, “So unless you manage to convince my brother to come home and return to his duties, then you are stuck as my heir.”
She grins a little, the faintest show to teeth glinting in the candlelight as she looks at me.
“Besides, you know medical jutsu, don’t you? Therefore, you are also my assistant.”
“This is your revenge.” I mourn, she snickers wickedly at me, Taijima chuckles softly as he shakes his head, and Reikuri sighs at me as she rubs her temples, hiding a good-natured grin. “You’re going to bury me in paperwork and red tape and laugh over it.”
“Why on Earth would I do that?” Hotaru gasps softly, letting go of my hand to quickly place hers over her heart in a delicate and sweet gesture. “Drowning you in black ink would be so much easier, then all I would have to do is entomb you in paperwork and tie it off with red tape.”
“Make sure to add a bow,” I tell her grimly, she bursts into giggles, crumpling into my lap as she chortles, “Just to really get the point across, y’know?”
“I’m afraid to ask what I’m stepping into.” Kakashi deadpans,
“It’s commonly referred to as ‘Comedy Night’.” Tobirama states blandly, Taijima looks up, annoyed, “And I’m not surprised she used it to calm his ass down, but I am surprised she’s calm enough to start cracking homicide jokes in the center of the Uchiha Compound.”
“She is literally the Clan Head of the Uchiha in eighty years.” Kakashi states, face-palming, Hotaru continues to giggle in my lap as Tobirama makes a humming noise.
“Why do I keep forgetting that part?” Tobirama wonders quietly, “Anyway, sorry to intrude Clan Head-Sama, Clan Head-San, we thought Dragon-sensei was killing a diplomat and came to stop her.”
The little shit bows as I turn to face him, Hotaru cackles like it’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard, and Kakashi is in his pajamas, standing cock-eyed with one hip out. Obviously, Kakashi has his mask on, and, somehow, Tobirama has armor on over his pajamas, and his happuri is slightly tilted.
“I feel so relieved,” I deadpan, staring at them blankly as Hotaru cackles madly in my lap, “Kakashi, especially, makes me feel so safe and protected with his shuriken jammies-”
“I can bite you.” Kakashi states bluntly and I flip him off, “As the Clan Head of the Hatake, I am allowed to use biting to discipline other clan members.”
“I’m not Hatake.” I remind him,
“If your Clan Head is Hatake, then you’re Hatake.” Tobirama and Kakashi disagree with me in sync, Hotaru practically howls with glee in my lap, and I glare at them fiercely.
I don’t think it works very well.
“How about we all go bad to bed - without biting anyone?” Taijima seems to be working very hard to not smile, “Dragon-san, we can finish discussing your lessons tomorrow over lunch if you’d like. I’ll have Madara cook, if-”
Hotaru’s stomach growls traitorously, and Tobirama’s head cocks to the side like a curious puppy’s as Kakashi and I snort in sync. Hotaru’s entire face turns a brilliant scarlet.
“Yes,” She squeaks, sitting bolt upright as she sobers up quickly, choking back any further laughter as a sinister - if achingly familiar - smirk spreads across Tobirama’s face. “We can - I know which hair dye works on you, you little shit, say a damn word and you’ll be chartreuse for a month! - We can discuss further lesson plans over lunch tomorrow, Clan-Head-Sama.”
Tobirama pauses, hovering over her menacingly for a moment, arms spread. Taijima raises an eyebrow, looking amused, Reikuri is struggling to manage her stoic expression, with her lips twitching and her eyes sparkling as Kakashi walks up and taps him on the backs of the head.
“She likes to add contrasting colors to your eyebrows, too.” Kakashi hisses in his ear, “You’d be walking around with green hair, pink eyebrows, and - considering what happened last time - shedding glitter for at least a week out of the first month.”
Tobirama stops smirking and recoils away from Hotaru with a horrified squeak.
Taijima chokes on his tea, Reikuri makes a soft wheezing noise and clamps a hand over her mouth, I shove a fist in my mouth, and Hotaru calmly takes a sip of her tea.
“Bold of you to assume I can’t make the glitter stick for the full month.”
Tobirama somehow winds up staying the night with us, along with Kakashi. He crawls right in next to Hotaru in her futon like he belongs there, and Kakashi takes the couch.
“I swear to Amaterasu this is my apartment.” I grumble to myself, settling into my own futon grumpily, hearing soft snickers from the couch. “Shut up Bakakashi.”
(That’s because this is what Hotaru does, Obito.)
(What are you talking about?)
(Hotaru is an Alpha Hatake. The entire reason I’ve been trying to get her to take over the clan is because of her leading instincts. Her instincts to lead, protect, and guard her pack and clan are stronger and closer to animalistic than most Hatake and DEFINITELY the Inuzuka. She’s basically got a wolf’s heart, a dragon’s instincts, and an Uchiha’s mind.)
(That…)
I pause, staring at the ceiling as I listen to one of the kids - probably Tobirama, Hotaru didn’t snore any of the times I checked on her and Sasuke - starts snoring, then suddenly his breathing starts evening out.
(Kakashi, has anyone ever…taught her…did she learn how to deal with that by herself?)
A deep, gut-sinking pull combines with a skin-prinkling chill, spreading out from my eye, so intense a headache starts to form before it can reach my chest to even gut-sink properly.
(No.)
Kakashi sighs softly, I hear him shift his weight on the couch.
(I know for a fact that no one ever taught her anything. She had to teach herself everything, whether she learned it mid-battle or from half-destroyed books in the compound is up to debate.)
My chest does something funny, something twisty and sunken and dark. It feels like it gnaws at me, eats at my nerves as I turn my head to face the wall between me and Hotaru.
(She was a kid, Kakashi.)
(So were we, Obito.)
(That doesn’t mean she should be left behind either, you baka!)
(Who said I left her behind?)
I blink quietly, the feeling - tight in my chest - gnaws a little harder, a little tighter. I say nothing as I stare at the wall, Kakashi remains quiet for a while too.
(Good night, Obito. Sleep well.)
I wake up first, when the world is still dark and everyone else in the house is still asleep. I take a deep breath to prepare myself, my stomach churning as I swallow back bile.
Then I use Kamui to step into Madara’s room as he stretches shirtless.
“Wow, ego much, kid?” I joke reflexively as he snaps upright before recognizing me and smiling warmly, which makes my skin crawl. “I need some recipe recommendations.”
“...you’re gonna cook?” Madara raises an eyebrow suspiciously, I wince, “Obito, you never cook.”
“I…” I try to recall the last time I cooked instead of going out to eat or shoving a ration bar in my face - when I actually got hungry, which seemed to be once or twice a year, usually towards the dead of winter. I can’t recall anything. “Uh…”
“...Obito, you’re going to burn your house down.” Madara says heavily, quickly grabbing his sleeping yukata, “Let me help you.”
“That is a terrible idea-”
“Why? It’s just you and Dragon-san at home, right?” Madara wraps the yukata around himself loosely, clearly not bothered, even as his cheeks turn a light shade of pink. I roll my eyes at him quietly, but sigh through my nose. “I can teach you how to cook a proper breakfast before she has to leave for her lessons at the infirmary.”
(He is fooling no one.)
“Alright,” I can’t think up a lie fast enough, and all requests for anything - even a cookbook - seem too weak and cowardly when he’s throwing himself at the problem like this. “But you better be fast about it, alright?”
It takes a bit of fancy (and fast) footwork to get Kakashi out of sight when Madara sweeps in, but Kakashi is half-awake, just enough to be compliant, and he goes into Kamui willingly, even though he’s confused.
It’s Senju Tobirama I’m worried about.
“What the fuck have you been putting in your coffee?” Madara mutters, washing out Hotaru’s beloved press like it’s contaminated with something. I snort, but lean back to eyeball the hallway. “It smells like a liquor store.”
(...what?)
“...that’s Dragon’s.” I state bluntly, feeling Tobirama’s chakra rise slightly as he rouses, Madara turns to me, looking confused and incredibly concerned. “I don’t drink coffee.”
“Why are you having to explain your tea snobbery to someone?” Hotaru asks from behind me, I almost jump out of my skin, and Madara drops the pot into the sink with a soft, sharp inhale. “Careful, I’ll get a big head if you jump much higher.”
“Stop doing that.” I hiss at her loudly, she gives me a tired, squinty eye-smile over her sleep mask, the thin silk veil hanging over the lower half over her face almost to the middle of her throat. “...seriously? That shade of red?”
“What?” Hotaru defends, touching the veil nervously as her cheeks flare red in a furious blush, I give her an exasperated look as the soft pat-pat of footsteps sounds down the hall, then stops. “Is it so wrong to be proud of my clan?”
“Next you’ll tell me you have formal robes that aren’t wedding robes in red.” Madara snickers, Hotaru turns a deeper shade of red and bristles, and I wilt at her, “No-!”
“It’s layered and-”
“Sensei,” Tobirama snickers, Madara instantly looks amused, and gives me a look of understanding and exasperation. “You know you can wear red highlights in your formal robes and red layers in your robes without people giving you too many questions, so long as you're subtle about it, right?”
“They’re Sharingan red.” Madara says amusedly, Tobirama steps up next to her, and I pull Kakashi out of Kamui, causing a small groan of exhaustion and irritation to echo out of him.
“I was just getting comfortable, Obito.” Kakashi whines,
“Well, I am making breakfast,” Madara states, sounding entertained by the lot of us, Tobirama’s stomach rumbles instantly, “I don’t think Obito stocks blueberries though, but pancakes are a possibility with the amount of flour he has.”
“Don’t tempt me.” Hotaru mutters, hands twitching slightly, “I want to make muffins so badly, but there’s nothing to put in them, not even nuts or seeds…”
She grumbles grumpily under her breath, Madara raises an eyebrow, but Tobirama looks thoughtful, and Kakashi sighs.
“You want to trade her for something, don’t you, pup?” Kakashi sighs,
“You proved how easy it is to get over here undetected.” Tobirama points out, the room goes quiet, “I want to return to lessons, Chichi-ue doesn’t need to know, right?”
“That…” Madara looks nervous, almost anxious, “How would you pull that off, exactly?”
Tobirama grins crookedly, Hotaru sighs, Kakashi rolls his eyes, and I close my eyes as I brace for whatever bullshit Hotaru has - whether accidentally or purposefully - enabled this time.
“Why,” Tobirama almost purrs, “I’ll be in two places at once, of course!”
After breakfast, which Madara repeatedly insists Hotaru does not help with, until Tobirama finally picks her up and carried her out of the kitchen. Somehow, Tobirama winds up covered in glitter, with sticky hands, feathers in his hair, with smoke-stained fingers before we sit down for breakfast, but he’s smiling like he won the war single-handedly, so none of us comment on it.
He’s still thoroughly covered in the mess when Kakashi steps out of Kamui with him in Taijima’s private office after breakfast, when we’re somewhat dressed.
(Hotaru has her mask on, at least, and Madara has his yukata tied on properly.)
Taijima looks wildly entertained at the sight.
“What lesson involves that, Dragon-sensei?” Taijima asks warmly, Dragon sighs quietly,
“I made the mistake of mentioning a former student’s invention of alternative smoke bombs,” She rubs her temples as I share a look with Kakashi, “He was…fond, shall I say, of rampant chaos on the battlefield.”
“Chaos is just when someone else is in control.” Tobirama states, sounding eerily like he’s quoting someone, and Dragon sighs in the same tone that Fugaku used to when he was losing an argument with Mikoto. “Or am I misremembering that, Sensei?”
He grins wickedly, all crooked lips and ever-so-slightly seen fangs. Dragon sighs, even as her lips twitch slightly, and I get the feeling that she’s less annoyed about Naruto’s ‘rampant chaos’ and more annoyed about…probably paperwork, if she’s anything like Fugaku. I wince as I recall the mountains of paperwork I had to sort through as punishment for a prank, and his frosty glare when I tried to wimp my way out by crying at Mikoto (who had been very pregnant with Itachi at the time, and had started experiencing extreme maternal instincts to boot.)
“You’re correct, Tobirama,” Dragon admits, “But if you quote that again, I’m gonna run you through a simulation where you fight that student instead of me, got it?”
“Or he could wait a week.” Kakashi deadpans, Taijima and Dragon look up, and I rub the back of my neck, “Team Seven got here before we did, Dragon, and is mostly responsible for how the clans wound up this close to peaceful. It helps that Sasuke and Sakura, y’know, studied.”
“Why do you think I tutored Naruto before the Chuunin exams?” Dragon sighs, Kakashi smiles warmly, but something like guilt twists violently through our bond, “That kid didn’t have anyone looking out for him growing up, obviously he has bad homework habits!”
“Sasuke and-oh!” Tobirama perks up, “The other one - the blonde, right? Your former student was Uzumaki Naruto, then, Sensei!”
Dragon lets out a warm, startled laugh.
“Technically,” Kakashi rubs the back of his neck, I roll my eyes,
“Please tell me you did not dump a bunch of kids on her.” I deadpan, Kakashi gives me a dirty look, she smiles with only warmth and no teeth. “Sage! Kakashi, she would’ve been fourteen! She’s too young to be a teacher, you fucking maniac!”
I grab a pillow and smack him, having Tobirama and Dragon duck politely as Madara steps around his father’s desk, all of them looking amused as I nail Kakashi in the face.
“She was better at teaching than I was, Obito!”
“That’s a shit excuse and you know it!”
“She’s literally teaching adults now!”
“She’s an adult-ish, now!”
“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Dragon mutters as I chase Kakashi around Taijima’s office, whacking him with the pillow when he gets within reach. “Adult-ish, how the fuck is nineteen not an adult?”
“You haven’t met Hashirama yet, have you?” Madara asks, amused,
“Normally I’d agree with you Sensei, but unfortunately for us all, Hashirama and Madara exist within a thirty-mile radius of each other.” Tobirama mutters, Dragon snorts quietly, Taijima gets up quietly, and Kakashi quietly drags me to a stop stealing the pillow, too.
“Careful, you’ll make it look like I’m still an authority figure.” Taijima taunts, Madara snickers quietly and gets his shoulder smacked. I feel heat flood my face as Kakashi and I bow and Kakashi apologizes while holding the pillow out of my reach. “Thank you, gentlemen, now why don’t you come and finish explaining to Dragon how her former students have been?”
“Yes sir.” We state in sync, and it suddenly feels a lot like I’m back on Team Seven, myself, getting scolded for starting a fight with the runt.