Chapter Text
general
L-230010460 just slid into the server.()
Glad you're here, R-230010460.()
D-230010460 just hopped into the server.()
M-230010460 just showed up.()
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
OMG NEW TOYS! (๏ฝโยด)ฯ
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
are u guys robot turtles or something
whats w the serial-number names?
M-230010460 ()
Iโm not a robot
Who are you?
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
We are your counterparts from other dimensions.
Now that thatโs cleared up, tell me about your dimension.
What year is it for you?
M-230010460 ()
Other dimensions?
Like in comic books?
Um
Itโs 2018
Don't you know that?
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
Comic books leave much to be desired when it comes to plausible science, but for the sake of getting to the relevant part before your mind is contaminated by too much knowledge, yes, think of us as comic-book alternates.
As for the current date, exact contemporaneity isnโt a given. Ronin is a few decades ahead of the rest of us in time.
Itโs covered in one of the pinned posts. You can read it after Iโve gathered the important data.
Raphie2003๐น๐ข | Neon ()
donnie, i know you know better than this
M-230010460 ()
Donnie?
Your name is Donnie?
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
Keep your tedious social etiquette rituals to yourself, neurotypical. This is the first new dimensional contact weโve had in months.
Given that there are theoretically millions of dimensions and universes in which mutant turtles that share our names and certain lifestyle characteristics exist, Roninโs Donatello must have included some kind of filter algorithm in the serverโs programming.
I need to know what this new alternate universe shares with ours if Iโm going to figure out the filter parameters.
Replying to message by:
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
Yes I am. The purple username didnโt give it away?
M-230010460 ()
Your username isn't something my Donnie would pick
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
you just want to beat the other donnies to the data so u can figure it out first
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
And what pray tell do you mistakenly believe to be wrong about that?
Replying to message by:
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
You canโt stop a turtle from dancing.
M-230010460 ()
No but I'm usually the one dancing
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
And those are both relevant data points.
NowโI have a scientifically-planned list of questions to ask you about yourself and your world before we go any further.
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
youโre gonna scare our new friends right off the server!
how are you gonna get your data then, hmmm?
donโt let him freak you out, @M-230010460
you donโt have to tell us everything right away
or at all!
weโll respect your decision if you donโt want to talk about some things
M-230010460 ()
Well, I'm super bored right now so I'm cool with answering some questions
But first I kinda wanna know who Iโm talking to
For real are you like the tech support guys for banana computers or something?
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
[ Offended GASP! ]
How dare you suggest that I am a mere technician here to tell you to reboot your mass-produced example of mediocrity? Iโm going to let the insult go for the sake of scientific inquiry.
First, I need your full name, species, and current age.
Then a list of your family members, their species, and either current ages or ages at death.
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
Your answers to those questions will determine which questions come next.
GameMaster9000 [Verified Bot] ()
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
asdasdasdasd
omGGGG
IMAGINE GETTING MUTED BY UR OWN BOT JAJAJAJAJAJAJA
M-230010460 ()
Muted?
What does that mean?
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
he wonโt be able to talk for a while
M-230010460 ()
Oh
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
I apologize, @M-230010460
Welcome to the server
M-230010460 ()
Um, thanks?
I guess
I still donโt know who you guys areโฆ?
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
like donnie said, weโre you from other dimensions
iโm the leonardo in my dimension, which is the coolest one, btw
@โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon is my baby brother michelangelo, aka mikey, angelo, michael, orange, etc
@Raphie2003๐น๐ข | Neon is our oldest brother raphael, or red if your our splinter
and ofc you already know but ronin just muted my data-obsessed twin, donatello
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
mr. ronin, did you just mute donnie?
i thought mods canโt be muted???
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
I revoked his moderator privileges
Gave him a new role, as well
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
wait what is the new role anyway
OMG
@Turtle SHU
F
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Don't bother kid, he's locked out of most channels right now
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
asdasdasdas
M-230010460 ()
This is some kind of prank, right
Or someone trying to get publicity or something
Am I being turned into advertising for banana?
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
One of you kids pull up the pictures and show him
Raphie2003๐น๐ข | Neon ()
um, ronin, isnโt that a little extreme?
donnie was just being donnie
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
He promised to obey the rules of basic courtesy when he apologized for badgering me
He broke that promise
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
why us?
your the admin, you can just wave ur hand at the screen and gather up every picture weโve ever sent.
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Iโm the admin, so I can tell you to do the work and threaten to kick you if you donโt
Raphie2003๐น๐ข | Neon ()
we were handling it
we could have gotten him to back off if youโd given us a few more minutes.
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
You shouldnโt have to handle it
As you said, he knows better.
M-230010460 ()
Hello?
Is someone going to tell me who you guys are and why you started talking to me and why youโre ignoring me now?
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
your getting lazy in your old age
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
RHIP, kid
Now go fetch the pictures
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
tf does that even mean
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Rank Hath Its Privileges
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
never heard of it
is it old ppl slang?
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Pictures, now
Replying to message by:
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Sorry, just taking care of a discipline problem
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
woof woof
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
The โmuteโ button is just begging to be clicked, kid
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
fine
lazy old fart
[Message #general]
general
M-230010460 ()
What the hell?
You guys are turtles?
Raphie2003๐น๐ข | Neon ()
yeah
arenโt you?
M-230010460 ()
I mean yeah
But we always thought we were the only ones?
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
You may be the only ones in your universe
M-230010460 ()
So
You guys were just looking for more turtles to talk to?
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
maybe?
i mean i wasnโt expecting it but i was happy to meet more people like us!
mr. roninโs donnie set the server up, and i think he used some mystical techniques with his programming
because none of the donnies have been able to figure out how it works and itโs driving my donnie crazy
M-230010460 ()
Itโll probably drive my Donnie crazy too when he finds out about it
Heโs our tech genius
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
so far all the donnies are the tech geniuses
how come yours isnt on here yet?
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
hi cope raph! (โงโโฆ)๏พ
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
hey
M-230010460 ()
The doctors are keeping him drugged up until the swelling in his brain and spinal cord goes down
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
dsgdddddddddgggggggggjrirllllllllllsfgnrnfffffffffff
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
wtf?
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
our donnie is trying to get leoโs phone, sorry
raphieโs separating them
iโm going to move somewhere quieter
@M-230010460, what happened to your donnie?
M-230010460 ()
We got ambushed and exposed
Donnie...We donโt know if heโs gonna make it
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
...
i donโt know what to say
โiโm sorryโ is a stupid cliche and โthat sucksโ isnโt enough
M-230010460 ()
Yeah
Nothingโs really enough
Heโs right next to me and I canโt do anything but sit here and watch and hope he can beat this
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
iโm back
raphs putting my beloved but deranged twin to bed
which means hes doing his impression of a straitjacket and wont be back here for a while
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
i just read what u said @M-230010460
you said u got ambushed and EXPOSED???
are you prisoners?
do you need a rescue, bc iโm p sure the donnies have figured out how to open a portal b/w dimensions without risking my mikey
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
if my brothers from another dimension are in danger, iโve gotta at least try to save them
iโve been training, and barry and you guys can help!
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
no, mikey.
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
โฐ๏ผโตโกโฒ๏ผโฏ
M-230010460 ()
Weโre not prisoners
At least I donโt think so
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
you donโt think so?
M-230010460 ()
Well, weโre not in chains or anything
And the doctors are really doctors, not mad-scientist doctors you know?
Theyโre trying to fix us
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
Hello, New Mikey
Iโm my dimensionโs Leonardo
When you say doctors, do you mean human doctors? Are you guys accepted by humans?
M-230010460 ()
Your nameโs Leonardo too?
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
Yes. I know this is confusing
You can ask us any questions you want, but I want to know if youโre safe first
M-230010460 ()
I think we are?
I mean, most humans didnโt know about us until a few days ago, but somebody set us up and ambushed us
We got beat up really bad and the bad guys stripped us naked and left us chained to things in public places
They put me in a high school and Donnie in Central Park
So we were seen and people took pictures of us and posted them everywhere and Chief Vincent and April and everybody brought us to the Bronx Zoo and now weโre here and our doctors are really vets because weโre more turtle than human
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
Wow. Thatโs a lot to unpack.
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
so theyโre keeping you guys in a ZOO?
mods, get your asses in gear and get that dimensional portal working, weโve gotta get these guys out of there!
M-230010460 ()
Itโs not like that
I mean not yet, I donโt know if weโre gonna be stuck here forever
Weโre just too beat up to go home yet
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
like how beat up?
M-230010460 ()
None of us can stand up and Donnie could have brain damage or be paralyzed if he lives
They had to take out Raphโs eye because it was dead, and they might have to amputate my arm if it doesnโt start getting better in the next few days
I really donโt want to talk about this stuff right now, OK?
Can I ask you questions instead?
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
Go ahead
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
sure, what do you wanna know?
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
there are new guys on the server and no one pinged me!
NOT COOL BROS!
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
read back, other me
you should probably tell your donnie to get on too
we might need a portal soon and my brothers donโt want me to do it
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
@โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium
@โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium
@โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium
@Mr. Wizard | Millennials
@Mr. Wizard | Millennials
@Mr. Wizard | Millennials
calling all donnies!! ๐ข
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
Oh my god, why did you PING US LIKE THAT
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
oop my b, d
@Donatellos
@Donatellos
@Donatellos
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
Mikey
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
teehee
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
This had better be good
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
were hearing from a new bunch of turtles, d!
and they need help
Replying to message by:
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
omg wdym naked like out of ur shell?!? ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
Our shells are made up of our spinal columns and ribs fused together, Mikey
Taking off our shells would mean death
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
u dont know how turtles work in their dimension
mayb its diff
M-230010460 ()
No, thatโs how it works for us too
And I mean stripped meaning like stripped of our clothes?
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
u wear clothes...?
like all the time???
M-230010460 ()
Huh
Do you guys not wear clothes???
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
i mean we wear them sometimes???
M-230010460 ()
Only SOMETIMES??
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
team cope and millennials are allergic to human clothes
M-230010460 ()
Sorry, who?
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
everyone here thats not me or my bros
n now including ur fam, ig
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
you guys are gonna need a team name now!
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
that can wait, mikey
M-230010460 ()
Speaking of names, is there a way I can change mine?
I donโt want a robot name
Mr. Wizard | Millennials ()
Hi everyone. Welcome, @M-230010460
Iโm my universeโs Donatello.
I can change your username for you. What would you like to be called?
M-230010460 ()
My nameโs Michelangelo, but everyone calls me Mikey for short
Can I use that?
Mr. Wizard | Millennials ()
Iโd be okay with that
Hey, @Michelangelos, are you guys okay with New Mikeโs username being โMikeyโ?
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
I think that would get confusing
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
i donโt mind!
my bros call me angelo and michael all the time, i can just go by those
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
We just have to give his family a cool team name!
i can help you come up with a great name new mikey!
im great at naming stuff ๐
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
you named your cat-ice cream mutant ice cream kitty and your superhero identity turtflytle
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
yeah and?
those are GREAT names
theyre totally unique and catchy!
also turflytle* tyvm
at least get the name right, ong ๐
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
w/e
Mr. Wizard | Millennials ()
You can take some time and think about it
Itโs not hard to change a username. Any of the mods can do it for you
TortoiseBoy | Millennials ()
or
now hear me out, here
you could just let all of us control our own names again
Mr. Wizard | Millennials ()
I could, if I wanted our Mikey to start pestering me about the babyโs name again
But I donโt
So youโre gonna have to live with it
TortoiseBoy | Millennials ()
@โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ, would you PLEASE change my name back?
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Nah.
TortoiseBoy | Millennials ()
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
where did the robot name come from anyway?
Mr. Wizard | Millennials ()
Good question. I assume you didnโt pick the name, New Mike
Did your Donnie set it?
M-230010460 ()
No
He doesnโt even know weโve got our own tablet things now
They just got here today and heโs sedated
Heโll go off in like a nerd explosion if he wakes up and finds out
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
You need to read back, Donny-san
New Mikey, what else do you want to ask us?
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
I GOT IT!
ur new mikey
noomikey
nikey!
itโs perfect!
M-230010460 ()
Yeah
I like that!
Like the shoes!
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
Actually, Nike was a Greek goddess of victory.
M-230010460 ()
Now I like it even more!
Can that be my name?
Mr. Wizard | Millennials ()
Iโll change it for you
Nike ()
This is awesome, thanks!
Mr. Wizard | Millennials ()
My pleasure
Nike ()
Can we go back to clothes?
Like why you donโt wear any?
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
We wear masks and knee and elbow pads
Thatโs all weโve ever needed
Nike ()
Do you live in Hawaii or something?
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
No, we live in New York City
Where do you live?
Nike ()
NYC, but ours gets really cold in the winter. Like turtle torpor cold
The bad guys left Donnie and Raph naked outside and itโs January, and they went into torpor
Me and Leo were inside but it was like 65 and we were beat up, so we started falling asleep too
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
Interesting
We didnโt have clothes growing up, and our bodies seem to have adapted
Iโve been tracking our body temperatures after winter patrols for the last few years, and so far the lowest weโve gotten without starting to show signs of hypothermia is 67 degrees Fahrenheit
Nike ()
Whoa ๐ฎ
Our temperature alarms go off when we get down to 75
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
You have temperature alarms?
Nike ()
Yeah
Our Donnie made them
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
Are they internal or external?
Nike ()
You sand down one of your chest scutes so thereโs a flat spot, then you glue the alarm on
It signals your comm and makes an annoying noise when youโre getting too cold
Itโs the only thing that gets Leo to go home before sunrise, some nights
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
YOU SAND YOUR CHEST?
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
doesnโt that HURT?! ฮฃ(ยฐใญยฐ)
Nike ()
Yeah?
But we only have to redo it once every year or two when we shed
Getting the tattoos back hurts more
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
YOU GUYS HAVE TATTOOS?
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
i want pictures!
Nike ()
April has some pictures, I think
Sheโs pretty careful though, so she might have deleted them after she gave them to Donnie
Iโll ask her when she comes in the morning
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
where do you guys even get clothes?
TortoiseBoy | Millennials ()
what, donโt YOU guys have Mutant Turtle Fashion Week in your town? /sarcasm
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
when you did you guys take up modeling careers?
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
omegosh, that would be FUN!
iโve always wanted to try designing clothes
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
you design โem iโll wear โem baby brother!
Nike ()
You guys type really fast
I want to design clothes too
But for humans not turtles
Thereโs only four of us
And my brothers donโt care too much about style
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
they might not right now, but they might if you showed them some really cool designs!
you should totally try drawing some!
Nike ()
I donโt think I can right now. The arm I draw with might get amputated soon
Sorry, that was a real downer thing to say, sorry
We make our clothes out of stuff we find lying around
Like stuff that itโs obvious no one else is gonna use
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
You mean youโre Dumpster diving?
Nike ()
Yeah
The Garment District throws out a lot of scraps and stuff, and weโre always looking when weโre out on patrol
Leoโs good with the sewing machine and Raph can knit pretty much whatever he wants if he can get enough yarn
Can I ask another question?
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
Go ahead
Nike ()
Whatโs this chat thing for?
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
We donโt really know
Ronin-sanโs Donnie set up this server on Discord and somehow connected all of us to it
We just use it to talk to each other about our hobbies and whateverโs going on in our lives
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
i think mr. roninโs donnie didnโt want his brother to be lonely
he didnโt know their casey marie would mutate some turtles to expand the family
Nike ()
Lonely?
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
I donโt think now is a good time to tell you
Later, if you remind me
Just not now
Nike ()
OK...
You guys know someone named Casey too? Casey Marie?
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Yes
Casey Marie is Caseyโs daughter
(Yes, named after her father)
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
we have two of โem, too!
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
and the rest of us are so glad weโve only got one casey jones
whatโs your casey like, new guy?
Nike ()
Heโs a cop
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
what????
someone gave jones a BADGE?
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
Not our Casey, Raph
His Casey
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
still feels wrong
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
ew is it too late to cut ties with this universe
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
LEO
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
The mute option is looking very tempting right now
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
hey but u agree tho, right?
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Kid
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
๐ถ
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
i can see our casey jr going to cop school!
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
CJ is way too high on the weird meterโข to ever turn into the Manโข
and the cops have to follow way too many rules ๐
(or at least their SUPPOSED to asdasdas)
itd cramp his style
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
and heโd probably have to arrest you twice a week for some dumb stunt or another
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
heโd never arrest me!
im his sensei!
๐ค
Nike ()
Our Casey wouldnโt arrest us either
Not unless we did something really really stupid that put a lot of people in danger or something
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
...Like what?
Nike ()
I donโt know, robbed a bank full of people or something?
Something that would make us the bad guys
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
Do you know someone named April?
Nike ()
Yeah!
Aprilโs our hogosha
And sort of our older sister now
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
Hogowhatnow?
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
It means a guardian or protector
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
Think of it as how we would use โparent or legal guardianโ in English
Nike ()
Is that what it means in your world?
For us it means that sheโs our great guardian spirit ๐
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
YOUR APRIL IS A GHOST?
Nike ()
Sheโs not a ghost!
Sheโs alive and she works as a reporter for Channel 6 and sheโs awesome!
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
is she human or a yokai?
do you have yokai in your world?
Nike ()
I donโt think so?
If we do Iโve never heard of anything like that
Aprilโs human and Donnie thinks some of our human DNA comes from her dad so sheโs sort of our sister
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
YOUR SPLINTER IS APRILโS DAD?
Nike ()
What?
No?
Aprilโs dad was one of the guys on Project Renaissance
When they needed human DNA to do their mad-scientist stuff, they just got it from whoever was in the lab, I guess
Donnie did some tests and he said some of our human DNA has to come from Aprilโs dad, so weโre sort of her little brothers
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
so you know Aprilโs parents? cool!
Nike ()
No, we donโt
Aprilโs mom died when she was a baby and her dad was murdered by eric sacks
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
I think weโre getting ahead of ourselves
New Mikey, were you and your brothers mutated by accident or on purpose?
Nike ()
Both?
They hacked our turtle parentsโ genes to put some human DNA in โem, then they messed with us after we hatched, then they started pumping mutagen into us
It was supposed to make us into mutagen factories, and that sort of worked because we make mutagen in our livers or something
But it wasnโt supposed to make us grow as big as we are and get smart enough to learn to talk and everything
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
You create mutagen?
Nike ()
Yeah
Not a lot but itโs enough to keep our mutation stable and heal us up fast most of the time
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
but not this time, huh?
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
Your mutation is unstable?
Nike ()
No
I mean itโs been stable all our lives so far?
But weโve been making mutagen in our livers all our lives too so maybe it would be unstable if you took out our livers or something
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
everyone whoโs heard enough about livers for today say hot soup
Replying to message by:
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
HOT SOUP!
Replying to message by:
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
HOT SOUP!
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
You did that because you knew theyโd give you two votes by reflex
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
do you really want to talk about livers?
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
I want to know how someone can generate mutagen in his body without mutating out of control, yes
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
you can ask him about it later
after i and all the rest of the non-nerds have gone to bed
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
How old are you, M?
Nike ()
17
Well Leoโs 18 now and Raph will turn 18 in a couple months
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
another leo whoโs the oldest? ๐ซ
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
are you the youngest too?
Nike ()
Yeah
April has all the records of our hatching dates and stuff
Donnie hatched in May and I came along in June ๐
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
So youโve known April all your life?
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
Just like us!
Nike ()
No, weโve only known her for a few years
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
but you said her dad worked at the lab where you were mutated
didnโt he introduce you?
Nike ()
This is a sort of crazy story and itโs gonna take a while to type
Just warning you.
So it all starts with this crazy guy eric sacks. He told April a story about being an orphan in Japan and being raised by a sensei who gave him everything and helped him start his business and get rich
Turns out that sensei was actually shredder
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
asdasadfadeaeda
Van Gogh Vroom | Copium ()
dont interrupt
hes typing.
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
iโm showing that iโm paying attention and iโm hanging on every word!
besides he said its going to take him a while to type everything
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
That doesnโt mean you can just jump up and dance around for attention. Play with your fidget toy if you need something to keep your hands busy
Nike ()
Itโs kind of distracting when new words keep popping up while Iโm typing
I keep forgetting what I was going to say next
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
Sorry, New Mikey
Weโll be patient
Leon, we can chat in the Leo channel if youโre that over-caffeinated
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
and miss the story? ๐ฅบ
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
dr. delicate touch is gonna visit you if you donโt shut up and let new mikey type, bro
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
๐ถ
Nike ()
Eric sacks grew up and he started this chemical and drug empire
Like making legal medicine, not the illegal stuff
Then he bought a space rock
I forget the name of those, ones that had mutagen in it?
He got his scientists to mess with the stuff, and found out that it could do some really incredible things if you did everything just right
He told everyone he was gonna make a cure for cancer because this stuff would fix whatever made the cancer start
But really what he was doing was trying to make animals into mutagen factories because his scientists couldnโt figure out how to make mutagen with normal chemistry
Nike ()
This part gets really crazy but I swear itโs true
Sacks and shredder decided they were gonna use the mutagen to make the antidote to a poison then let the poison loose in NYC and charge the government major money for the antidote
But they needed a lot of mutagen to make that much antidote, so they needed to make animals that would make it for them
They started out with rats and were gonna switch to rabbits, but all of the rats except one died
The one was our dad
April saved him and named him Splinter and he was her first pet
She took videos of him and pretended she was interviewing him for a news show
Itโs really weird to watch those videos and see our dad before he mutated
Nike ()
The scientists decided they needed to try something cold blooded and they picked red eared slider turtles because weโre cheap and you can fit a lot of baby turtles in one tank
Our turtle parents got their genes all chopped up then we hatched and were put into the mutagen experiments
April hung around the lab a lot when she was a kid and she knew it would mess up the experiment if she opened the cages and played with us, but one day she did it anyway
She thought that since there were so many turtles it would be okay if she messed up just one tank a little
There were around 2000 turtles at the beginning
There were 10 of us in the fish tank she opened
She got away with it a few times but she got busted holding us and she got into a lot of trouble
Her dad had to pay for all ten turtles in that tank
He wanted to teach her about consequences so she didnโt get her allowance for like three months to pay back what we cost
Nike ()
And we had to stay at the lab and get injections and go through the tests and stuff even though we werenโt really part of the experiment any more
We were just April's pet turtles
April named all of us after people from the Renaissance because the experiment was called Project Renaissance
She took really good care of us
Like better than all the other turtles got
6 of her turtles died anyway
My bros and me are the ones who lived and we could have lost Raph back then too
The records April has say there were only a couple 100 turtles left alive by the night sacks killed Dr. OโNeil
Dr. OโNeil was our vet
He took care of Splinter too
He believed the story about curing cancer but then he found out what sacks really wanted to make mutagen for
So he set the lab on fire and tried to destroy everything
Nike ()
Sacks found him and shot him
We would have died in the fire if April hadnโt come running in to save us
She put us in her coat pocket and ran home
She kept us in the bathtub for a couple days until her aunt and uncle came to get her
They wouldnโt let her keep us because we were lab animals and they were afraid we would give them cancer or something and sacks wanted us back
April sneaked us out and let us go
Splinter remembered what she named us and the colors she painted on our shells
He didnโt tell us her name or that she was a human kid
He called her the Hogosha and he said that word meant great guardian spirit
I thought she was some kind of angel for mutants until we met her and Dad said sheโs the Hogosha
Nike ()
Dad started mutating for real like right after April let us go
It took us a couple years to get started
Maybe because we were babies and he wasnโt
We started going out and fighting the foot when we were 14 because the foot were beating up and killing people and they even killed a few cops and someone had to do something about it
We got pretty good at it and April got put on the story of the vigilantes who were kicking foot butt
She followed us and took our picture on a roof one night and thatโs how we met her again.
Replying to message by:
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
๐ฉ
Nike ()
Is something wrong?
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
no just reacting to being called cheap by a fellow red-eared slider
Nike ()
Well itโs true
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
this u, leon?
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
asdasdas
30 DOLLARS?!?
โจ๐น๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ค๐๐โจ | Copium ()
4 1/2 stars tho!
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
stfu stfu stfu stfu
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
Is your Shredder still around?
Nike ()
You have your own shredders too?
I donโt know
We havenโt seen him since krang tried to invade, and that was a couple years ago now
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
you have krang?
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
i should go check on my other brothers, if donnieโs this quiet it probably means heโs trying to gnaw something off of raph
nice to meet you new mikey, i hope your krang are dead, talk to you when the subject changes
Nike ()
Is it taboo to talk about krang here?
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
No, but the Neons had to do some pretty extreme things to stop the Kraang invasion in their dimension
It really traumatized them
โจ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐โจ | Neon ()
i can handle it if you need to talk about your krang, tho!
weโre here to listen and help out!
Nike ()
Krangโs sort of old news now
We sent him back to his dimension wherever that is
He yelled all this villain stuff about coming back a thousand times stronger but the Arc Capacitor thingโs wrecked
Casey smashed it and Donnie took the rest of it apart to make stuff with
So I donโt think heโs coming back
At least I really hope not
He almost squeezed me to death
It took two months for the cracks in my shell to close up
Raphโs used to that kind of thing but Iโm not
Now all of us have cracks all over
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
I donโt think I could ever get used to my shell being cracked
โ ( แ ใโ )๏ผฟ | Copium ()
Iโm surprised you can function at all
I guess the doctors are giving you some pretty strong painkillers?
Nike ()
Yeah
And the night nurse just came and put the bedtime stuff in my IV, so I guess Iโm going to sleep now
Bold&DaringPlan | Copium ()
Get some rest
Thereโs usually at least one or two of us online no matter what time it is, so whenever you want to talk, weโre here
Mr. Wizard | Millennials ()
And let us know if you need a rescue, weโll figure something out if you do
Nike ()
Thanks
I think weโre safe for now but we might need help later
Later everyone
[Message #general]
ventilation-shaft |
Stop spamming "amogus" in the channel
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ
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โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Youโre just digging your hole deeper, kid.
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
Then give me back my role!
Or at least remove this weird new role youโve given me.
I canโt even access the other channels.
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Earn it
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
How? What groveling ritual do you want?
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Good night brat
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ
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GameMaster9000 [Verified Bot] ()
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Goodbye.
[Message #ventilation-shaft]
general
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ PLEASE for the love of everything good in this world let my brother back into the rest of the channels
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Throwing tantrums, is he?
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
hes reading the 14th draft of his manifesto about the freedom to pursue knowledge and yadda yadda thru a loudspeaker
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Thatโs not going to get his access back
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
what will?
i canโt take much more of this ๐ซ
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
I just made a new channel
Itโs just for him
ใNeon Leonใ | Neon ()
sdfsdfsdfsdf
#neon-donnies-apology-corner?
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Iโm sure he can figure out what itโs for, but he can post his manifesto in there if he wants to
[Message #general]
neon-donnies-apology-corner
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
I was just gathering data.
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
I wanted to get information about the new guyโs dimension BEFORE everyone else filled his head with other assumptions.
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
Iโm not good with social stuff, okay? Itโs not how I think!
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Look at the beginning of all three of those statements, kid
What do they have in common?
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
...
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
You need a hint?
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
[Exasperated sigh.]
Is โamateur psychotherapistโ a universal trait of Michelangelos?
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Someone has to do it
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
Fine, whatever. Analyze me and tell me whatโs wrong with me then give me back my access.
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
No
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
Then tell me what you want!
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
The channel name ought to be all the clue you need
Bootyshaker9000 | Neon ()
Fine, Iโm sorry for offending you.
โจ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โจ ()
Typing speed: A
Everything that matters: F
You can take the test again tomorrow.
[Message #neon-donnies-apology-corner]