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Kaeya starred out into the never ending ocean as he sat at the edge of Star Snatch Cliff. It was currently dusk, and in Kaeya’s opinion, the sky was beautiful at this time. The clouds touched by pink, right before night falls in.
He played with a Cecilia that he pulled out of the ground. It was a pretty flower. Still not as pretty as Calla Lilies in his opinion, and he thought lamp grass looked better too.
He had a lot of opinions. People found that annoying. Maybe it was why people weren’t talking to him. Jean, Lisa, Rosaria, even little Klee wasn’t spending as much time with him as she used to. Or maybe it was just him, yeah. It’s just him.
And Diluc ignored him. Not that it was anything new. He’s ignored him for years. Although it was his own fault, it still hurt. He was stupid enough to reveal his identity as a Kaenrianh spy the night Crepus - his father - died, so he’d suffer the consequences. Losing his home. Losing his brother.
Lately Kaeya’s realized that he’s spending more time in the tavern. He sat there, Death After Noon in hand, and waited. Waiting for something, something, to change. Whatever that something was. He was only wasting his time. He didn't even know what he was waiting for. He’d leave the tavern with disappointment. Diluc would have to practically shove him out the door each night because he had to close up.
Kaeya’s felt really tired these few days. Like he’d want to just go to bed, and sleep forever. Even if he knew he had duties to attend to. Cavalry Captain with no cavalry. How stupid. Jean’s hasn’t given him as many missions to go on anymore. Guess she thought that he wasn’t capable. That he was just a burden. Useless. Stupid. Worthless. Disgusting.
At this, tears started building up in his eyes. He pulled off his eyepatch. He was glad that there wasn’t a mirror insight. Only the ocean below him could reflect. He didn't want to see his other eye. The scarred one. The different one. Truth be told, it was gold. A shiny gold eye. A mark of royalty in Kaenrianh culture.
He wasn’t just some random Kaenrianh civilian. No, he was a prince. Which somehow made it ten, no, twenty times worse. But then again, should a man be punished for being born a prince? Yes, if said prince was Kaenrianh, you could punish the hell out of the poor soul. That was the rule. Who set this rule? Kaeya doesn’t know. But it seems fitting to him.
Mondstadt. The nation of freedom. Yet he didn't feel free. No, Kaeya Ragnavindr Alberich didn't feel free at all. He was tied down by his ancestry. Diluc - big brother - was the only one that knew. He was afraid to tell anyone else. Scared of the disgusted glares that would be sent to him. Afraid of exile. He didn't want to leave. Didn't want to lose his home again. Not again. Please not again.
But with that said. Why should he care about what others think of him? They surely didn't care about him….. surely. He was hurting and they did not spare him a second glance. So why did it matter what they think? No, it doesn’t matter. Kaeya was the one making it seem like it mattered.
They don’t matter. They don’t matter. They don’t matter. They don’t matter. They don’t matter. They don’t matter. I dont matter.
Before he knew it. It was morning. He’d been on the cliff all night. The sky. Red. It was really pretty. Just like Diluc’s fire. Fire. His inner fire was gone. Smothered out. It was already dying. But now. It was gone, and he wasn’t sure if he could bring it back.
He stood up. Dangerously close to the edge. Looked down. The sea below him called for him, for him to come closer. To jump. To just die. It was just so welcoming. Kaeya couldn’t resist. His legs became wobbly. He lost his footing, and he fell.
He simply closed his eyes as he fell. Knowing what awaited him. He would finally be free. Maybe he’d get to see dad. If they went to the same place.
He hit the surface and sank. Water overtook his lungs, and he was gone.
Death for Freedom.
~ End