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Alhaitham drives like a grandmother.
Kaveh is not entirely shocked by this fact, but it doesn’t stop him from teasing Alhaitham about it. He does not rise to the bait, and instead gives Kaveh a long-winded lecture about road safety and how many people die per year in car accidents.
It is still fun to make fun of him, especially when the only station that they can seem to get to work on the old car radio is some old timey country music station that makes Kaveh want to peel his ears off.
Eventually, Kaveh tires of teasing Alhaitham within the first two hours of their drive, and settles for staring out the window, watching the trees and grass blur by at the very respectable speed limit.
Kaveh is by no means a reckless driver, but when faced with a long empty stretch of road like they are, with only another car passing by every few minutes, Kaveh would probably be going a bit faster than the recommended speed limit. Just a tad.
Still, he doesn’t really mind that Alhaitham is perfectly content to keep his eyes focused solely on the road, two hands gripping the steering wheel, and car perfectly balanced at the speed limit.
“How long until we reach the next city?” Alhaitham asks, after they have both been happily quiet for the better part of an hour. Despite the sun still high in the sky, Kaveh’s eyelids feel heavy in the constant thrum of the old engine chugging along.
Kaveh hums as he pulls out his phone, thankful he had the pre-thought to download offline maps with the complete lack of service, and pulls up their next destination. He winces a little on the inside when he sees how far it is. They’ve been driving for nearly three hours already.
“Nine hours till we stop for the night. Two until the next town, where we can take a lunch break, and swap,” he tells Alhaitham, who hums in acknowledgement. His eyes never once stray from the road. Ever the perfect driver. His driving instructors must’ve loved him.
“Have you booked a hotel for the night?”
“I don’t have any service out here. I’ll call around once I have some, don’t worry,” Kaveh huffs, rolling his eyes, and watches as Alhaitham briefly shoots him a glare, before returning his gaze back to the road. “I’m bored already. Can we play a game? Like ‘I Spy?’”
“No. I’m driving,” Alhaitham responds, voice flat, and Kaveh rolls his eyes again, resting his chin on his hand as his elbow sits on the side of the door.
“There are literally no cars in sight, and the road is perfectly straight. You can spare a few brain cells to play ‘I Spy’, I should think,” Kaveh grumbles, petulant, before a wicked idea crawls into his mind, and he smiles cheekily, leaning forward to get closer to Alhaitham. Teal eyes flick to him for a moment, eyebrow arching. “Or, are you so simple you can only focus on one thing at a time?”
Alhaitham’s jaw tightened, and Kaveh’s smirk grew. He leans his chin back on the palm of his hand, and turns to look back out the window, heaving a dramatic sigh.
“Ah, I should’ve known you couldn’t think about two things at once. It was too much to ask of you. Such a shame,” Kaveh mumbles distantly, and the muscles in Alhaitham’s jaw jumped.
“Kaveh,” he warns, low, and Kaveh makes a fake hum of acknowledgement, tipping his head to the side. “I know what you are doing, and it will not work.”
Kaveh wants to say that it’s already working, but instead he just smiles wider, and turns to look out the window. It is silent for a moment between them, Kaveh’s eyes scanning the scenery, before he speaks again.
“I spy with my little eye something beginning with… D,” Kaveh sings out, and Alhaitham heaves a hefty sigh. “Do you want to guess what it is, Haitham?” He teases, and Alhaitham shoots him another glare.
“Dirt.”
“Nope.”
“Daisy.”
“It’s not the season for daisies. Tighnari would beat you if he heard you say that.”
“Deciduous shrubbery.”
“What- I don’t even know what that means.”
“It means sheds its leaves annually. Tighnari would beat you if he heard you say that.” Alhaitham does a poor mockery of Kaveh’s voice, far too high-pitched and whiny, and Kaveh huffs out a sharp breath.
“Do you want me to tell you what it is?”
“I have a feeling that I’m not going to like it, judging from the fact that there is not really anything out here that starts with the letter D.”
“Oh I’m looking at one right now,” Kaveh sneers, and Alhaitham rolls his eyes, fingers flexing over the leather of the steering wheel. It creaks with it, and his biceps flex with the movement, something that immediately draws Kaveh’s eyesight, before he quickly looks away. “I spy with my little eye a di-“
“If you say dickhead, Kaveh, I’m going to pull this car over and leave you on the side of the road. See if you can call a taxi out here with no service and no money,” Alhaitham cuts him off immediately, and Kaveh shuts his mouth with a click. He finds great joy in the twitch of Alhaitham’s eyebrow and jaw. He can see the slight smile Alhaitham is trying to hide as well.
“Why, I never! I was going to say digitorum communis,” Kaveh mock-gasps, and Alhaitham raises his eyebrow. It is silent for another moment, and Kaveh’s smile only grows wider by the second.
“What… is a digitorum communis?” Alhaitham finally asks, through gritted teeth, and Kaveh knows it pains him greatly to give in to Kaveh’s whims.
“It’s a collection of muscles right here! Flexes your fingers,” Kaveh says, jovially, poking just below the middle knuckle of Alhaitham’s hand. “Must you think me so childish as to say something like ‘dickhead’? What do you think of me, Haitham?”
“You know what, I think I might actually just leave you on the side of the road anyways,” Alhaitham replies, flatly, and he flicks his indicator on like the grandmother he is, and begins to slow the car, pulling to the side.
“Wait, wait, wait- I’m sorry! Don’t pull over!”
--
Alhaitham did end up pulling over, and the two of them had ended up tousling around light-heartedly as Alhaitham pretended to attempt to drag Kaveh from the car, before they had continued on their merry way, with only a few small bruises on Kaveh’s calf to show for it.
They make it into the next town, a small dusty looking place that gives Kaveh exactly one bar of service, two if he stands in exactly the right spot on the café porch. Kaveh counts exactly five buildings in the centre of the town. A sheriff’s office. A general store. A café. A petrol station, and a motel that screamed haunted. There was maybe ten houses, at best, in the surrounding streets (or, street, really). The town smelt of dust and oddly enough, leather, and every building looks like it was one strong wind away from falling over.
Kaveh’s fingers twitch with the absent desire to start plotting ways to improve the infrastructure and architectural integrity of the buildings. He is forced to swallow his words when he sees Alhaitham shoot him a shit-eating grin as he pushes delicately on a pillar at the front of the café, which creaks ominously. Alhaitham knew just how much it pained Kaveh, and he revelled in it.
Still, they order their slices of ‘best pie for a hundred kilometres round’ (there wasn’t even another town within a hundred-kilometre radius), and coffee that is suspiciously sludgy, as Kaveh scrolls through a list of hotels in their destination for the night. It’s a very short list. The next town is, of course, larger than their pit-stop, but still not very big.
“Do we want free breakfast, or a pool? Or, free internet? Neither of them have all three. We get one or the other,” Kaveh asks, before shovelling a forkful of the random-berry-flavoured pie into his mouth. Despite the ridiculous slogan, it was pretty good pie. The coffee was terrible though, but Kaveh’s grateful for at least one nice tasting thing in a town like this.
Alhaitham sips at his coffee across from him, and grimaces, before placing it down and looking over at Kaveh, fingers drumming on the table as he thinks.
“What’s cheapest? If they’re all the same, go with free breakfast. It’ll save me money from buying you breakfast,” Alhaitham jabs, and Kaveh rolls his eyes. They are all basically priced the same, with maybe a few dollars difference. He pokes his tongue out at Alhaitham, and knows there are bits of berry still on it, judging from the disgusted look on Alhaitham’s face. Still, he dials the phone number for the hotel with the free breakfast. Alhaitham starts eating his pie, and forces a few more gulps of the toxic waste coffee down, as Kaveh books them a room for the night.
The sun is now high in the sky, warming their skins against the autumnal chill settling in. Beams of sunlight filter in through the dusty and unclean café windows, fragmented, casting upon Alhaitham’s face in stripes. His heterochromatic eyes light up in the sun, bright teal and orange, and Kaveh tries not to let his gaze linger on them as he chats cheerfully on the phone. He knows Alhaitham is devastatingly beautiful. This was not a new fact to him, yet sometimes, Kaveh gets brutally reminded of that fact. Times like where Kaveh is sitting across from Alhaitham in a dilapidated café, sunlight brightening his sharp features.
Kaveh looks away, mouth dry, and thanks the man on the phone for putting in their booking. The second he hangs up, he forces another mouthful of coffee down, because Alhaitham paid for it, and he’d be damned if he’d let Alhaitham complain about Kaveh ‘wasting his funds’.
They finish eating the surprisingly good pie, and the surprisingly bad coffee, before they continue on their way.
--
“Must you sing along to every song?” Alhaitham yanks his headphones down, and lifts his head from where he’d been reading his book, turning to glare at Kaveh. Kaveh grins, feeling a sharp sense of satisfaction.
An hour of driving out of the town, Kaveh had discovered they got mostly normal radio stations again, and had promptly decided to sing loudly along to each song that he knew. Alhaitham had lasted an hour before saying something, which Kaveh was honestly quite impressed with. Still, he was the worst road-trip companion ever.
“Well I have five hours of driving left, and it isn’t like you’re being very entertaining. What if I get so bored I fall asleep, and then we crash and die?” Kaveh shot back, turning his head to look at Alhaitham. He watches Alhaitham roll his eyes, before turning to look back at the book he has nestled in the crook of his crossed legs.
“Eyes on the road. Like I’d let you fall asleep and kill me. What do you want me to do to keep you entertained, Kaveh?” Alhaitham sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.
A few dirty thoughts flash to Kaveh’s mind, and he snaps his eyes back to the terribly long and straight road in front of them.
“What are you reading?” He asks, instead, fighting the flush in his cheeks. Alhaitham is thankfully still not looking at him, and shifts slightly in his seat.
“Anglo-Saxon riddles.” Kaveh lets out a dramatic groan, banging his head against the headrest behind him.
“Of course you fucking are, you god-damn grandfather. Whatever. Read me some.” He does not say that he likes the sound of Alhaitham’s voice when he reads poetry, which he has done for Kaveh on few occasions. He does not say he likes the way Alhaitham’s mouth moves over the vowels, the way his tongue rolls over the consonants, and that he always speaks in this lovely and low tone whenever he reads.
“Ic eom wrætllic wiht, on gewin sceapen-“
“In fucking English, you pretentious-“ Alhaitham laughs, and it lands like a blow, shocking Kaveh into tightening his grip on the steering wheel. Alhaitham’s laugh is a rare and wonderous thing. Kaveh does not say that he likes Alhaitham’s laugh, and he does not say that hearing Alhaitham read in whatever language he was reading was incredibly sexy.
“That is English. Old English.”
“Oh- you know what I meant!”
“Fine. I’m a beautiful thing, shaped for fighting. Whenever I am bent, and there flies from my bosom…”
Kaveh sighs at last, content, and lets himself sink into Alhaitham’s words, steadfast and sure, as they continue along the road. His heart stills, and the road rolls underneath them.
--
Alhaitham tires early, as the sun sets in the sky. Kaveh, merciful, stopped singing after Alhaitham had read him riddles and fed him the answers. They are an hour and a half out of their stop for the night, and Kaveh does not tease Alhaitham when he notices how his eyelids grow heavier, and his head begins to droop.
Kaveh is tired too, but is faithful and unrelenting in his driving, the stars beginning to glitter in the country sky gloriously. They do not shine that way in the city, and Kaveh loves to see it dearly. He loved the sunset too, commenting on it to Alhaitham, who had hummed in response, already drowsy. They had woken early to pack the car and begin their drive, far earlier than both of them would’ve liked, but Kaveh had slept for the first two hours of their drive, so he does not stir Alhaitham.
He is peaceful whilst he sleeps, sharp features softening into something kind and young. Kaveh, traitor to his heart, allows himself a few glances at Alhaitham’s sleeping face. His pale pink lips are parted slightly, and his chest rises and falls deeply with each breath. He has reclined against his palm, resting on the door of the car, and his cheek squishes ever so slightly with it. Kaveh thinks of his drawing supplies, sitting behind him in his satchel, and wishes he could immortalise the picture of Alhaitham sleeping so peacefully, with only the occasional beam of light from passing cars illuminating his features.
Kaveh drives, silently, the music turned low, so it is no more than a quiet hum in the background, for a while more, before he notices Alhaitham shiver slightly, nose wrinkling ever so gently. He does not wake, and Kaveh’s heart clenches tightly. Fuck. He didn’t realise Alhaitham could be so cute when he slept.
Slowly, careful not to brush against Alhaitham, he reaches behind him to the back seats, keeping his eyes trained on the road as he fumbles around blindly for the blanket they had thrown back there in the morning. Fingers finally find it, and close around it, as he drags it to the front. Awkwardly, with one hand still on the steering wheel, Kaveh gently drapes it over Alhaitham’s torso, and there’s a quiet snuffling noise from the man, and one of his hands moves to grasp at the blanket, still asleep as he tugs it up. He sinks lower into the seat, legs stretching in front of him into the footwell, and his arm falls to cushion his head against the door, hand no longer propping it up.
Kaveh’s chest twists and turns, and a part of him wishes he could snap a photo, but another part of him relishes in the fact that he will be the only one who ever gets to see Alhaitham like this. Young, and peaceful, in a car that carries them across the country back to their home.
Kaveh finishes the rest of the drive in silence, and his eyes burn with exhaustion as he pulls into the parking lot of the motel that they had booked for the night. He switches the car off, and does not wake Alhaitham as he slips out to go into the reception. The attendant is a bored looking man, who barely speaks to him as Kaveh gets the keys from him and gives him the room number, before returning to the car to pull it closer to their motel room. Only then does he lean over to Alhaitham, shaking his shoulder gently.
Alhaitham doesn’t react for a moment, before Kaveh gets to watch in slow motion as he wakes, body tightening with the tension that comes with consciousness, and his nose wrinkling in disdain as his eyelids flutter open. Those beautiful multi-coloured eyes stare back at Kaveh, foggy with sleep, dimly lit by the motel lighting, and Alhaitham blinks slowly.
“We’re here. I considered letting you sleep in the car and having the whole room to myself, but I am a benevolent senior,” Kaveh jokes, but his voice is soft in the way that motels late at night make you. Something in his chest holds this tender moment between them tightly. Alhaitham doesn’t say anything for a moment, still blinking awake, before his hand comes up from underneath the blanket to cover his mouth as he yawns, slowly sitting up. The blanket falls to his lap, and Alhaitham looks down at it. He is still too drowsy to hide the surprise at seeing it, but neither of them say anything as Kaveh turns away, and begins to climb out of the car.
Alhaitham doesn’t speak, as slow to wake up as he always is, until they are setting their bags down on the floor of the somewhat dingy motel and Kaveh is flopping down onto one of the beds, groaning dramatically.
“Dinner?” Alhaitham asks, voice gruff. It does not send shivers down Kaveh’s spine, it does not. It is just cold in the country in autumn. Kaveh groans again in response to Alhaitham. He is hungry, having driven seven hours straight with only a slice of pie and bad coffee in his stomach, but he is far too tired to think of going anywhere to get food.
“Delivery?” Kaveh asks, muffled into the mattress. Alhaitham sighs, and Kaveh hears the ominous creak of the other mattress as Alhaitham sits down on it.
“Delivery would just cost more. We should go out and get something.”
“I’m so tired, Alhaitham, please don’t make me drive anywhere else right now,” Kaveh whines, petulantly, and he hears Alhaitham scoff.
“Fine then. You stay here, and I’ll go out and look for some food. If you’re asleep when I get back, you don’t get to eat.” It is an empty threat, and Kaveh knows that, so he just gives Alhaitham an incoherent grumble as a response. He does not say what food he would like, because Alhaitham and him have known each other and lived together for so long that Alhaitham knows what to get him. Kaveh also knows that Alhaitham will wake him when he is back with food, despite his threat.
Kaveh is already drifting off when he hears the jingle of car keys being picked up, still in exactly the same position he fell into. Alhaitham doesn’t say anything as he leaves, closing the motel door softly behind him, and Kaveh lets his eyes slide closed, if only for a moment.
-
“Kaveh. Kaveh. Wake up. I’ve brought us some Liyuean. I got you sweet and sour pork, so get up before it goes cold.” Kaveh wakes to Alhaitham’s voice, close to his ear, a warm hand over his shoulder. Kaveh is faster to wake than Alhaitham is, but is by no means actually fast at it. Alhaitham is just exceptionally slow, so it takes Kaveh a few minutes of drowsy blinking for him to wake up enough to sit up. There is a small table in the corner of their room, with two seats, and Alhaitham has already set out the food onto it. There’s even a bottle of that iced herbal tea that you can only get at Liyuean restaurants next to what Kaveh assumes is his pork. It settles heavy in Kaveh’s stomach, that Alhaitham knows him so well, as Kaveh slowly peels himself off the bed to stumble over to the table.
“Thought you said you’d let me starve,” Kaveh mumbles, voice rough with sleep, and Alhaitham doesn’t deign that worthy of a response, simply rolling his eyes as he sits down across from Kaveh. He opens his plastic container of food, and the smell of spice tickles Kaveh’s nose. He doesn’t comment, and digs into his own food. It’s satisfactory enough, for a small to medium sized country town restaurant, and it quells Kaveh’s hunger easily.
Alhaitham and him eat in silence, both too tired and worn down to really make conversation. As well as the fact that they had spent an entire day in a car together, which does not leave much room for more idle chit-chat.
“D’you want me to take the first half of the drive in the morning?” Kaveh asks, voice muffled by the rice in his mouth. Alhaitham grimaces at that, and chews slowly. He doesn’t speak until he’s finished his food. Kaveh remembers Alhaitham saying very distinctly once that ‘talking whilst eating is a terrible waste of energy, as well as being awfully ill-mannered’.
“If you want. What time must we head off?” Alhaitham had left the planning of the journey to Kaveh, since Kaveh was far better at planning things like this than Alhaitham. And also Alhaitham simply did not deem it a worthy expense of his energy. Kaveh didn’t particularly mind, since it allowed for him to add in a few sight-seeing spots in their trip. According to his plan, they should arrive in three days’ time.
“We can leave at nine. Remind me to fill up the car before we leave here,” Kaveh replies, before sticking another bite of pork into his mouth. Alhaitham nods. Nine is not too early, not too late. “We have four hours of driving before we stop. There is a lookout I want to see, and there is a café there that we can have lunch at before you take over the drive in the afternoon. Your leg is six hours.”
Alhaitham hums his approval, and they quietly finish their meal. Kaveh disposes of the rubbish, and drags his weighed down body over to his overnight bag. Alhaitham does the same, and they are both too full from their meal and still far too exhausted to make conversation as they change into their pyjamas. Kaveh has seen Alhaitham’s body many times, as living together for so long did not come without incidents, but he still makes a point to turn away and stare at the wall as he changes his shirt into a longer and softer one, and sheds his pants.
When he turns back around to crawl underneath his covers, Alhaitham is shirtless, and still facing away from him, now donning a pair of long and billowy pants. Kaveh watches, mouth dry, secretly, as Alhaitham’s back muscles flex as he repacks his bag. It is unfair, so unfair, that Alhaitham should be so muscular. Kaveh doesn’t even know why he insists on working out so much when back home, although he cannot say he’s complaining. Especially when he gets to watch the way his shoulder muscles tighten and stretch as he ties the cord at the front of his pants.
Kaveh drags his eyes away before he can be caught staring, and wiggles underneath the covers as Alhaitham turns back around. Alhaitham always sleeps shirtless, whether it is winter or summer, and Kaveh has not decided if he loves or hates it.
(He definitely loves it, when one of the first things he sees in the morning is Alhaitham’s ridiculous set of abs)
Alhaitham looks back over at Kaveh, as Kaveh sticks one of his bare legs out from underneath the covers (it achieves the perfect temperature equilibrium). He walks over to turn the room’s light off, plunging the room into darkness, hiding Alhaitham’s unfairly muscular body from view.
“Good night, Haitham,” Kaveh mumbles, already feeling himself beginning to drift off into sleep.
“Good night, Kaveh,” Alhaitham replies, just as quietly.
--
When Kaveh wakes, there is a coffee and a paper bag with some kind of baked good inside it on his bedside table, and the shower is running in the motel room’s bathroom. At some point in the night, he must’ve flung the covers off of himself, as he wakes sprawled over the bed on his back. His shirt has ridden up to his upper chest, and the autumn chill makes goosebumps break out over his exposed legs.
It is a mild surprise that Alhaitham has woken before Kaveh, but he is grateful, nonetheless. He drags his hand over his face, and checks the time on his phone. Just after eight. Enough time to drink the coffee, eat the pastry (it’s a cherry flavoured Danish, his favourite, and that makes his heart ache), and then shower once Alhaitham is done.
Alhaitham takes a long shower, unusually long for the man, and Kaveh swears at some point he must fall over in the shower because Kaveh hears something like a grunt, or a groan, and a dull thump over wet tiles. Kaveh pointedly does not think of Alhaitham naked in the shower as he drinks the coffee, still hot, and eats the pastry, still in bed (he’s on holiday, screw the pastry crumbs over the sheets).
Kaveh has just finished up his miniature breakfast, drinking the last gulps of coffee, when Alhaitham emerges from the bathroom, a cloud of steam coming out after him. He has a towel tightly wrapped around his waist, and his face and chest are flushed from the heat of the water, and his hair is damp, hanging loose and limp around his face. It’s devastating.
Kaveh watches a droplet of water stream down from Alhaitham’s collarbone, down his pectorals and abdomen, before absorbing into the towel, and then abruptly realises he’s staring, and looks away.
Alhaitham does not comment, and the flush of his skin does not fade as he walks over to his overnight bag, one hand securing the towel over his hips. The towel sits low enough that Kaveh has a full view of the V-line disappearing underneath it, and he distracts himself by picking at the pastry crumbs that have fallen onto the sheets below him.
“Are you going to shower before we leave?” Alhaitham asks, voice steady. He’s turned away from Kaveh now, and Kaveh’s eyes are drawn back up to his back. There are two thumb sized divots on his lower back, and a shock of heat bolts through Kaveh at the thought of what Alhaitham’s back would feel like underneath his hands, and how easily his thumbs could rest there.
“Yes. I was waiting for you to finish,” Kaveh replies, and thanks the Gods that his voice remains calm and steady as well. He’s had many years of practice hiding his longing, after all. Alhaitham doesn’t respond, seemingly focused on rifling through his bag, and Kaveh peels himself off of the bed, pulling his shirt back down to where it hangs over his thighs. “That was a long shower,” Kaveh comments, and Alhaitham turns his head.
For a split second, Kaveh swears he sees Alhaitham look down at Kaveh’s legs, before his eyes flit back up to his face. Kaveh decides, for his heart’s (and maybe dick’s) sake, that he doesn’t notice. There is still a flush to Alhaitham’s pale skin.
“It was warm. Go shower. You stink.”
Kaveh lets out an indignant squawk, and their peaceful morning is over, just like that, as Kaveh storms his way into the bathroom, letting the door swing shut heavily behind him.
--
Kaveh endures the first hour of his drive in relative silence with Alhaitham reading, before he caves, and sighs with heavy irritation. He sees Alhaitham notice it, eyes flitting to the side.
“Yes, Kaveh?” Alhaitham asks, his voice in that horribly condescending tone that Kaveh loathes.
“I’m bored.”
“You are driving. Focus on driving.”
“Are you reading more riddles? Read me some!” Kaveh cries, and Alhaitham rolls his eyes, looking back down at his book.
“It’s not riddles. It’s a poem this time. It’s from the 17th century,” Alhaitham replies, easily, before he begins to recite the poem.
“Bright Star! Would I were steadfast as thou art --
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like nature’s patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth’s human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen masque
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors.
No -- yet still steadfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow’d upon my fair love’s ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft swell and fall,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever – or else swoon to death.”
A love poem. It was a love poem, Kaveh realises, and his face flushes. Alhaitham recites the poem in that low tone of his, the old vowels rolling easy over his tongue. A fire burns in Kaveh’s stomach, and he stares at the road ahead, feeling it swirl around and singe his insides.
“Awfully romantic for your tastes, I would think,” Kaveh finally says, once Alhaitham is finished. Alhaitham just hums in response, turning over the page to presumably another poem.
“I don’t care for what the poetry is about. I simply enjoy reading it regardless,” he responds, coolly, and Kaveh desperately tries not to linger on the fact that Alhaitham just read him out a love poem. “Would you like another? This one is longer. It’s called the Seafarer, from the Medieval times.”
“Sure. Why not.”
“I can make a true song, about me myself-“
They drive forth. Alhaitham does not read Kaveh another love poem.
--
Kaveh turns the car into the dusty lookout parking lot, overlooking a valley from a cliff. Alhaitham had tired of reading Kaveh poetry, but by then they had only about an hour or so left of driving, so Kaveh was content to sit in comfortable silence, humming along to the music.
When they stop, Kaveh turns to grab his drawing supplies, and bundles excitedly out of the care. Tighnari had, in passing, recommended this lookout to Kaveh, saying that it was especially pretty. Kaveh’s fingers itched to draw it. Alhaitham removed himself from the car much slower, and drifted into the café whilst Kaveh made his way over to one of the benches by the railing.
It was beautiful. Breath taking.
The grass, still pale green, rolled down the hillside, and there were splashes of colour all throughout it with autumnal flower blooms. The sun was high in the sky, casting beams of radiant sunlight upon it through clouds, and Kaveh felt short of breath in the sheer beauty of it.
He flipped open his sketchbook, and found an empty page. He did not sketch many landscapes, most of his sketchbook being filled with portraits of his friends (and… many of Alhaitham) and architectural designs. Still, he enjoyed the challenge.
Kaveh loses himself into the drawing, into the soft wind blowing through his clothes, and the scent of dust and flowers hanging around. Alhaitham eventually comes and sits next to him, and places some sandwiches next to him, but does not speak. He knows better then to interrupt Kaveh when he is drawing.
There is something that holds Kaveh’s breath about this moment, sitting in peaceful silence upon a bench in the middle of the countryside. The only sound was the scratch of Kaveh’s pencil and charcoal stick across the paper, and the rustle of grass. It feels magnanimous, monumental, and it twists Kaveh’s heart painfully when he spares a glance to Alhaitham and sees him with his head leaning back, eyes closed as he enjoys the breeze and sun. The wind ruffles his hair over his face, and the sunlight illuminates his cuttingly sharp features in a way that makes Kaveh ache terribly so.
They rest for an hour or so, whilst Kaveh draws, and Alhaitham begins to read once more, before Kaveh’s hand starts to cramp, and he deems the sketch of the landscape good enough for him to continue away from it.
“Ready to go?” Alhaitham asks, and his voice is unusually soft. Kaveh picks up the sandwich Alhaitham had bought it, and bites into it, before nodding. He packs up his drawing supplies, as Alhaitham stands and stretches, his shirt riding up ever so slightly over his stomach. Kaveh almost wants to freeze the moment, just so he can draw the angle of Alhaitham’s hips, but he cannot, as he folds away the supplies, chewing around the bread in his mouth.
They walk back to the car together, shoulders brushing slightly until Kaveh is climbing into the passenger seat, and Alhaitham begins to dutifully adjust the seat and mirrors.
“Found a place to stay for tonight?” Alhaitham asks, as he begins to pull away from the outlook. Kaveh is still eating his sandwich as he shakes his head, pulling out his phone. There’s a text from Cyno he hasn’t seen.
Cyno: have u 2 smooched yet nari n I have a bet going
Kaveh’s eyebrow twitches with annoyance, and he feels a flush build on his cheeks as he begins to rapidly type out his reply.
Kaveh: no we haven’t fk off tell nari hes a traitor
Cyno: that’s fine just make sure u 2 fuck before u get home bc I have a lot of mora riding on this. Nari bet that u 2 don’t even do anything bc u r both so emotionally constipated
Kaveh: fuck both of you I hate you so much
“Who are you texting?” Alhaitham asks, but his eyes do not stray from the road. Kaveh starts, blinking rapidly, before switching to his internet browser to begin searching up hotels in their next city. Cyno texts him again, but Kaveh purposely swipes it away without reading it.
“Cyno. He’s just seeing how we’re travelling,” Kaveh replies, and Alhaitham hums in reply. Kaveh scrolls through the list of hotels, since the city they were travelling to was marginally bigger than their last one. There were more options, and Kaveh picked meticulously through them. Not too expensive, not too dingy.
Kaveh calls around, but apparently there was some festival or concert or something going on in the town, because all the hotels were booked.
Kaveh grinds his teeth together, frustrated beyond belief, as he calls the second last hotel on his list. He goes through his beginning spiel, and waits quietly for the rejection.
“Yes, we do have one available room tonight. However, we don’t have one with two beds, only a king bed. Is that okay?” The lovely receptionist says, and Kaveh’s stomach pitches. One bed?!
“Oh- uh, yeah sure. That’s fine. That would work,” Kaveh replies, and hates that his voice becomes high-pitched. The receptionist doesn’t comment, and Kaveh gives her their payment details (re: Alhaitham’s card details). He thanks her and hangs up, and breathes out shakily. Does he tell Haitham or-
“All okay?” Alhaitham asks, and Kaveh jumps, clutching his phone tightly.
“Yes! All booked for tonight. It’s just um- they o-only had a king share bed room left. I hope that’s okay?” Kaveh rushes out, and Alhaitham falls silent. Fractionally, ever so slightly, his eyes widen, and he turns to look at Kaveh just for a moment.
“One bed?” He asks, and Kaveh’s face feels like it’s on fire. He nods, and covers his mouth with his phone. Alhaitham looks back at the road, and his face shifts back into neutrality. “It’s better than sleeping in the car. It will be fine. We’ve lived together for four years anyways, it isn’t like you haven’t crawled into my bed drunk before.” Alhaitham’s lips quirk up in a smirk, and Kaveh lets out an indignant squawk.
“That happened- that happened once! Two years ago!” And I’ve thought about waking up there every morning since. “Whatever, it’s our only option anyways. It will have to do.”
Alhaitham just smirks more, and nods.
--
Kaveh draws for a while, finishing up his landscape sketch, but after a while, he finds himself drifting off to sleep. It’s a repeat of what happened to Alhaitham yesterday, and Kaveh feels slightly guilty about falling asleep and leaving to Alhaitham to drive in silence, but he can’t help but recline his seat backwards, and let his eyes drift closed.
He wakes, dazed and confused, to the feeling of weightlessness, and warmth spreading over his side. Slowly, he opens his eyes, but it’s dark and he can hardly see. Kaveh feels himself being lowered down, and he’s too tired and disoriented to really register what’s happening until the softness of a mattress greets him, and the warmth from his side disappears.
Oh. Oh God, Alhaitham carried me.
Kaveh is incredibly thankful it is dark, because he would not be able to hide the blush in his cheeks as he quickly shuts his eyes before Alhaitham can see he’s woken up.
He feels fingers touch his cheek, feather-light and lingering, and Kaveh’s heart feels as though it may burst out of his chest. Alhaitham doesn’t say anything, except for a quiet sigh, before his fingers leave Kaveh’s cheek, and pull the blanket up over Kaveh’s body until he’s tucked in firmly. Kaveh feels sick with it, sick with the longing and the fervent desire for more. Alhaitham carried him from the car to the bed.
Kaveh lays there, eyes closed, wide awake, as he listens to Alhaitham shuffle around, presumably getting changed for bed, before the mattress next to him dips and Kaveh remembers he’s going to have to share the bed with Alhaitham.
“Good night, Kaveh,” Alhaitham murmurs, oh-so-quietly in the darkness, as he lays down, and Kaveh can feel his body warmth radiating. Kaveh doesn’t respond, not out of fear of being caught at being awake, but because he cannot. He cannot free the words caught thickly in his throat, as he lays stiffly and listens to Alhaitham’s breathing even out eventually, and then just lays and listens to Alhaitham.
Kaveh doesn’t fall asleep for a long while, that night.
--
The sunlight filters in through the window, and Alhaitham mustn’t have shut the blinds properly because it hits Kaveh square in the eyes at some point, and he blinks awake, disgruntled.
Despite that, he is warm, and comfortable, even in the autumnal chill of the air. His body feels heavy, weighed down, but it doesn’t frighten him, as he relaxes into the sheets, letting himself slowly wake up.
However, slowly, he begins to register what that weight on him is, and he looks down and his heart stops. Alhaitham’s arm is wrapped tight over his waist, and Kaveh realises the warmth all over his back is because Alhaitham is pressed against him, nose nudging against the back of Kaveh’s neck, breath tickling his ear. It sends goosebumps rolling down his skin, has his eyes widening, but he can’t, he won’t pull away.
He has to enjoy this moment, wrapped in Alhaitham’s arms, warm and secure, for as long as he can. Kaveh sinks back down into the embrace, exhales softly, lets the smell of Alhaitham’s pine scented cologne wash over him.
Kaveh must doze off again at some point, even though he knows they should be getting up to get ready to leave soon, because he blearily opens his eyes to the feeling of the arms around him sliding away, lingering as though they don’t quite want to leave.
Still half-asleep, he turns his head to look behind him, and Alhaitham stares back at him with tired, yet wary eyes, as he moves away from Kaveh.
Neither of them say anything, as Alhaitham leaves to go shower, and Kaveh quietly stands and begins to make sure all of their stuff is together.
--
The tension remains. It is thick in the car as Alhaitham drives, his jaw clenched and fingers tight over the steering wheel. Kaveh cannot find the strength inside him to break the tension, and lazily distracts himself by finishing up the drawing from the day before. His strokes are sloppier though, less refined, and Kaveh knows he’s going to be angry at himself for it later, but he cannot bring himself to care, not when the two of them sit in a moment so heavy it suffocates him.
Had Alhaitham regretted sharing a bed with him? Had he been embarrassed to wake up wrapped around Kaveh? Did he want to tell Kaveh it meant nothing; it was just cold?
Kaveh thinks he rather that Alhaitham remain silent, so he doesn’t speak either.
When he finishes the sketch as much as he can be bothered, Kaveh drags the blanket from the back seat back over himself, and sinks down into the seat, leaning his head against the door.
If he falls asleep, will Alhaitham wake him again? Will he touch his cheek like before, soft and featherlike, filled with an emotion Kaveh had not felt from Alhaitham before? Or will Kaveh wake alone in the car?
Kaveh closes his eyes, and breathes out, heart heavy and slow in his chest as he lets himself drift back off.
--
When Kaveh wakes next, he does not wake to Alhaitham’s touch. He wakes slowly, in the still moving car, and he is dazed, and wonders if he slept for very long at all. His eyes are sticky, and his mouth is dry, as he tries to reorientate himself, lifting his head blearily to look at the clock on the car radio.
Hours have passed. They should’ve passed their rest stop two hours prior, when Kaveh was meant to take over driving. Alhaitham is still driving, and still silent, but he spares a glance to Kaveh.
Something about Alhaitham not waking Kaveh to take over driving sits warm and heavy in his stomach.
“Why didn’t you… wake me to switch? You’ve been driving too long,” Kaveh mumbles, lifting his hand to rub the stickiness away from his eyes. Alhaitham’s eyes move back to the road, and he looks tired, bags beginning to form under his eyes. He must’ve been driving for nearly seven hours by then, not to mention the night before.
“It’s fine. I didn’t want to wake you. We can switch over at the next town,” Alhaitham responds, voice unusually soft with weariness, and Kaveh frowns, but his chest flutters. It’s too much to bear for his weak and feeble heart. The poetry. The carrying from the car. The cuddling. The soft way Alhaitham looks at him, eyes easy and gentle, as he lets Kaveh keep sleeping despite the fact that he’s been driving for far too long.
Kaveh wants to protest, wants to spark an argument like he’s used to between them, but his tongue is fat and heavy in his mouth, and he looks at the time instead. It’s getting later in the afternoon, and if Kaveh remembers correctly, the town that comes before what was supposed to be their stop for the night was about another hour away. They would get there around five o’clock in the evening.
“Lets just stop in the next town for the night. It’s okay if we arrive home a little later tomorrow.” As the words leave Kaveh’s mouth, they come with the cold and stark realisation that tomorrow is when this will all be over. This strange bubble they’ve been in, with light words and laughter and poetry and lingering touches. They haven’t even argued nearly the entire time. A new record for them, really.
It twists uncomfortable in Kaveh’s chest, leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He doesn’t want this peace, this intimacy, he has with Alhaitham to end quite yet. Good things always seemed to come to an end for Kaveh though.
Alhaitham looks over at him, raises his eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything more beyond a nod. He must be tired. Still, they drive forward. Kaveh busies himself with fiddling with the radio, before he settles on a decent channel. After that, he drags out his sketch book again, but he only has time to add a few more things before they’re pulling into the small town’s streets.
There’s only one motel, and Kaveh prays softly that they have vacancies for the night.
“Hello, we’re wondering if you have one room with two beds for tonight?” Kaveh finds himself asking the receptionist, Alhaitham hovering behind him, and the receptionist, a young girl who looks entirely too bored, looks at him and Alhaitham. She blinks slowly, before looking down at her notebook.
“We only have rooms with one bed. You can book two rooms, or one room with a king bed,” she responds, and Kaveh grimaces. He doesn’t really know if he wants to share a bed with Alhaitham again, due to the tension today, but he isn’t the one really paying for all of these hotels.
“One room is fine, thank you,” Alhaitham cuts in behind him, and Kaveh turns his head to stare.
Alhaitham fixes him with a steady and calm look, and doesn’t give Kaveh anything more as he moves past him to pay for the room and collect up the keys. His shoulder brushes over Kaveh’s, and it sends warm tingles over his body. Kaveh doesn’t give Alhaitham the satisfaction of reacting, and thanks the receptionist, before following after Alhaitham.
The motel is dingy, dusty, and run down. It’s a bed for the night though, so Kaveh doesn’t complain, and he knows Alhaitham is too tired to continue driving for the night. They make their way into the room after getting their belongings from the car, and Alhaitham immediately beelines towards the bed to lay down on it.
“I’ll go get us some dinner. Anything you want in particular?” Kaveh asks, picking up the car keys from where Alhaitham had flung them onto the table. Alhaitham has moved his arm over his eyes, and heaves a sigh, before peeking out from underneath it.
“Alcohol. Go buy some alcohol. Card is in my wallet. Get whatever,” Alhaitham replies, half-mumbled and dreary. Kaveh stops at that, raising his eyebrows as he looks back at Alhaitham.
“Aren’t you too tired to drink?”
“You’ll take about an hour and a bit, because you can never decide what to get. So I have time to nap. Off you go now,” Alhaitham dismisses, and Kaveh clenches his jaw, feels it twitch, because he knows Alhaitham isn’t wrong.
He leaves, when Alhaitham rolls over onto his side, and Kaveh knows he’s going to sleep.
--
When Kaveh returns, he doesn’t know if he wants to wake Alhaitham. But, he has a whole bunch of gross and greasy burgers, and he can’t eat them all, and he also has a ridiculous amount of wine. So he tries not to stare at Alhaitham’s handsome and relaxed face, tries not to linger on the ache in his chest and the way it fills his lungs, and he shakes Alhaitham’s shoulder.
Alhaitham wakes as slow as he always does, heterochromatic eyes blinking open slowly. He stares at Kaveh, half-asleep and dazed, before slowly rolling over to sit up, dragging his hand over his face.
“Burgers. And wine,” Kaveh tells him, and Alhaitham makes a low humming noise as he stifles a yawn. Kaveh turns away to set out his purchases. There is no table in the motel, so he sits cross-legged on the floor and organises the food and alcohol around himself. Alhaitham slowly makes his way over, and sits down across from Kaveh. His long legs look almost ridiculous crossed underneath him, but Kaveh does not have the heart to tease him when Alhaitham is still waking up.
They eat their gross greasy burgers, which settle kind of odd and heavy in Kaveh’s stomach, although he could attribute that to the anxiety that has been lurking under his skin all day. Wordlessly, Alhaitham leans over and picks up one of the wine bottles, scrutinises the labels, before shrugging and opening it. Neither of them can clearly be bothered getting glasses, if the motel room even has any, so they both resort to drinking from the bottle. Kaveh busies himself with fiddling with the remote the shitty tiny TV in the corner of the room, and tries to pretend that he doesn’t feel Alhaitham’s eyes watching his every move.
If Cyno or Tighnari were here with them, Kaveh is sure they would have a snide comment to say about the tension in the air. Kaveh’s skin feels electric, has since the morning when he’d woken up in Alhaitham’s arms. He doesn’t know if drinking with him is a good idea, but he doesn’t want to stop.
The wine isn’t great. It sours in his mouth, and sits hot and heavy in his stomach as Kaveh finally settles on some romance movie. It has Keira Knightley in it though, and is some kind of period drama, so Kaveh doesn’t mind too much. Alhaitham doesn’t make a comment either. Maybe he doesn’t even know, because it feels like he hasn’t looked away from Kaveh once.
“I’m going to sit on the bed. I’ll get a neck cramp if I look at the TV from here,” Kaveh finds the courage to say, clutching his bottle of wine and pushing himself to his feet. Alhaitham hums in response, and stands up as well. Kaveh’s skin tingles still. When Kaveh sits down on the bed and stretches his legs in front of him, Alhaitham does the same. The bed is too small for two grown men, if they want any kind of distance, and Kaveh can feel the warmth from Alhaitham’s skin radiating even if they aren’t quite touching.
They don’t speak. They never really needed to, between them. Plus, they’ve drunk together enough times to know that it doesn’t require words.
Kaveh, true to his nature, starts to feel flushed and a bit light-headed a third of the way into the bottle, when Keira Knightley is dancing with what Kaveh assumes is the love interest. The music is nice, the movie is nice. Sitting with Alhaitham on a bed that Kaveh knows he will have to share with him is nice. He looks over, and sees Alhaitham has already downed a majority of the bottle, and there’s a pretty flush settling over his pale features too.
Fuck, Kaveh thinks, looking at him, feeling the way his heart clenches and twists with longing. It is unfair, for Alhaitham to be so regally handsome, to be like a painted picture. Those sharp lines of his nose, his cheeks and his jaw cut into Kaveh’s resolve like a scythe. It is unfair, that Kaveh is forced to see Alhaitham like this, when he’s still tired yet flushed with alcohol, and his eyes are bright as they turn to look back at Kaveh.
Kaveh swallows, and turns his head away. He’s not- he’s not quite drunk enough for this yet. He downs more of the wine, makes it to halfway through the bottle without taking a breath, before forcing himself to focus on the movie. He doesn’t really even know what’s happening anymore.
Has Alhaitham’s leg moved closer, or was it always that close?
Kaveh longs to reach out and touch it. To feel those muscular thighs underneath his hands. He longs to slide his hand up, to feel the way Alhaitham would shiver at it, if he does at all. He longs to dip his fingers underneath the waistband of those loose pants Alhaitham has taken up wearing throughout the road-trip, and he longs to-
Kaveh cuts himself off there. He’s still not drunk enough. He drinks more wine. He can barely taste it anymore, and his skin feels like its burning. His head is beginning to spin, and he feels like he can’t really concentrate on anything in the room except for the fact that Alhaitham is right there.
“Could you pass me another bottle?” Alhaitham’s voice slices through the air, and Kaveh is embarrassed by the way it startles him. He jumps, and is thankful that he’s deep enough into the wine, almost at the end, that none of it sloshes out. He looks at Alhaitham, and there’s a horribly arrogant (devastatingly gorgeous) smirk on his face.
Kaveh shoots him a glare, and places his bottle of wine on the bedside table as he leans over the side of the bed to stretch his fingers out for another bottle of wine. Once he manages to grab it, and sit back up, he turns, and all of his breath leaves his body at once.
Alhaitham’s face is inches away from his, multi-coloured eyes intense as they bore into Kaveh’s features, and then everything feels like it happens in slow motion whilst simultaneously at a hundred miles a second.
Alhaitham places his hand on Kaveh’s wrist, guides the wine bottle to rest between them safely in the sheets. He moves the other hand to Kaveh’s neck, fingers lightly skirting over the skin and sending a thousand goosebumps down Kaveh’s spine, before he’s resting it at the back of it, cupping so gently. His face moves closer, and Kaveh’s eyelids droop instinctively down to look at Alhaitham’s mouth as it moves closer. It’s slightly red with wine, and Kaveh wonders if the wine tastes better on Alhaitham’s lip than it does from the bottle.
“Haitham-“ Kaveh goes to say, but he cannot say anymore before he finds out how the wine tastes differently.
Alhaitham presses forward; he does not crash, he does not surge forward. Just an easy glide, pulling Kaveh forward by his neck, until their lips are meeting, and Kaveh feels drunk on both wine and the taste of Alhaitham’s lips. He answers it immediately, pressing back into Alhaitham, feeling the wet slide of their wine-stained lips and feeling the way his head reels from it.
A low noise escapes Alhaitham, rumbling through them, when Kaveh opens his mouth just slightly and runs the tip of his tongue of Alhaitham’s bottom lip. Kaveh finds that the noise is far better at impeding his mental coherency than any other substance. Alcohol is nothing compared to this feeling, this feeling of Alhaitham guiding his body to lay down gently into the pillows. The wine bottle between them rolls and hits Kaveh’s knee softly, but neither of them have the willpower to move away to do anything about that.
Alhaitham’s hand moves from the back of Kaveh’s neck to his cheek, fingers cradling his jaw, and Kaveh reaches up to grope at Alhaitham’s bicep, digging his fingers in slightly. That prompts another low rumbling noise, and Alhaitham shifts to hover above Kaveh, limbs caging him, a knee pressed down in the space between Kaveh’s legs. Kaveh thinks he might be dreaming, or going to Celestia, when Alhaitham’s other hand moves to wrap around Kaveh’s hip. His fingers just rest underneath the fabric of his shirt, burning his skin.
They have to breathe at some point, and Alhaitham breaks away, panting, and Kaveh re-opens his eyes to look up at him and oh.
Arousal bolts through him, sharp and hot, at the sight of Alhaitham’s blown-out pupils, his kiss-swollen lips, and the desire that screams from his expression. Alhaitham looks away, for a second, to secure the loose bottle of wine and place it on the bedside table, before he’s swooping back down to Kaveh’s lips, open-mouthed and hungry this time.
Kaveh would be embarrassed about the noise that slips out of him, an airy breathless thing, if it weren’t for the fact that Alhaitham’s fingers immediately tightened their grip on Kaveh’s hip at the sound of it.
“Kaveh, fuck-“ Alhaitham murmurs against his lips, and oh he sounds wrecked, as Alhaitham’s lips move to trail down Kaveh’s neck, and they burn Kaveh’s already feverish skin, but he can’t help but let a whine out when he feels the scrape of teeth over his jugular. His hips jerk up to find the resistance of Alhaitham’s hand, before the knee between his legs slides up further, pressing into his rapidly growing erection and Kaveh moans.
Alhaitham seems shaken by it, because suddenly he’s pressing his forehead into Kaveh’s collarbone, and there’s a gentle muffled swear against Kaveh’s shirt. His hand on Kaveh’s cheek slides down to ghost over Kaveh’s skin, sliding up his shirt and spreading warm and long fingers over his stomach.
“Kaveh- tell me- tell me now to stop. Tell me now,” Alhaitham croaks, in a voice far too similar to a plea, but Kaveh is drunk, and Kaveh is in love with Alhaitham, so he doesn’t say anything, and rolls his hips to grind his clothed erection against Alhaitham’s thigh, those fucking thighs, letting another moan out as he does. Alhaitham responds with a breathless kind of groan, before he’s sitting up and backwards to hurriedly peel off his own shirt. Kaveh follows the same, and they’re both filled with drunken and fervent desire as they shed their pants.
If Kaveh weren’t such a lightweight, if he weren’t so drunk on both the wine and Alhaitham’s touch, he would’ve hesitated before shedding his boxers. He doesn’t, and lets out a sigh when his cock is allowed to spring free. Alhaitham does much the same, and Kaveh can feel the way his own eyes dilate at the sight of his cock. It’s long, and stands proud where it curves against Alhaitham’s stomach, precum beading at the tip and Kaveh is struck with the realisation that he is the one who has turned Alhaitham on so much. He did that.
Alhaitham suddenly leans over to his side of the bed, grabbing something from his bag resting on the bedside table, and when he returns brandishing a bottle of lubricant Kaveh sobers up just the tiniest bit.
“When the fuck-“
“Whilst you were sleeping in the car I stopped at a store. Shut up,” Alhaitham answers immediately, and Kaveh doesn’t miss the way Alhaitham’s ears redden at the tips. Kaveh would make fun of him some more over his eagerness and the fact that he had clearly been hoping for this tonight, but he cannot find it in him as he bends his knees up, spreading his legs apart just slightly.
Alhaitham stares at him as he does, lips parted, eyes wide, and Kaveh has never seen Alhaitham look so open and hungry like this before. Like Kaveh is the meal he’s been desperate to feast on.
Alhaitham crowds over him again, letting the lube sit unopened in the sheets for the moment as he smashes his lips against Kaveh’s again, desperate, kneeling between Kaveh’s legs as he does. Kaveh’s knees press against the side of Alhaitham’s waist, and he feels like he may explode from the pleasure of just touching Alhaitham whilst he’s naked.
Kaveh continues feeling like he’s about to explode when Alhaitham’s hands slide over his thighs, down the inside of them, tickling the sensitive flesh there in a way that has Kaveh panting into Alhaitham’s mouth.
“Haitham- c’mon- please,” Kaveh breathes out shakily, and Alhaitham moves to the side of Kaveh’s neck to suck a mark into it, making a horribly embarrassing keening noise escape Kaveh’s throat. Kaveh can feel Alhaitham’s hand fumbling blindly around in the sheets, before finding the bottle of lube again. He leans back, and Kaveh already misses his lips on his skin. Kaveh watches, cock twitching in anticipation, as Alhaitham slicks up his fingers, before pressing his hand between Kaveh’s legs and leaning down to press a kiss into Kaveh’s sternum as he rubs one cold and wet finger against Kaveh’s entrance.
Kaveh gasps with it, throwing his head back, the alcohol in his system making any discomfort fade away into nothing as Alhaitham presses in, curling his finger upward.
“Fuck you look good like this,” Alhaitham murmurs against his skin, and Kaveh keens again, spreading his legs wider as Alhaitham strokes along his walls, fumbling around for that place inside him. “Wanted to do this for so fuckin’ long,” Alhaitham hisses, just as he presses his finger into Kaveh’s prostate, and Kaveh’s entire body jolts with it, a ragged moan forcing its way out of his chest at both the feeling and Alhaitham’s words.
“I- oh-“
“You’re so fucking pretty, fuck.” Alhaitham is still hiding his face against Kaveh’s chest, and he must be drunk to be complimenting Kaveh like this, as he presses another slick finger in, joining the assault against Kaveh’s prostate. It has Kaveh’s legs twitching, his cock leaking, and his head spinning, as he presses back into the pillows, groaning at the sensations and the way the words warm his stomach and chest. “Look so fucking good for me, baby.”
The pet-name does Kaveh in. Has his brain dropping away from his body, his hips jerking, mouth wide open as he moans some butchered rendition of Alhaitham’s name, fog crawling over his mind as he loses himself to the pleasure.
Kaveh finds himself rutting down pathetically into Alhaitham’s hand when a third finger stretches him, the sting soothed by kisses over his chest and a tongue over his nipple, and oh, Kaveh isn’t going to last very long at all. He shivers, from head to toe, some kind of warbled noise escaping him as he arches into the touch, into Alhaitham, lets his warmth envelop him. He feels like Alhaitham is picking at the thread that will unravel him entirely, and he is all too eager to let it happen.
Alhaitham nips at the nipple underneath his tongue, and Kaveh’s head spins with it, a shock of arousal spiking through him, his thighs straining in their fevered mission to spread further apart.
“Just- fuck- Haitham-“ Kaveh gasps, all reedy and broken, feeling entirely too spread thin in that moment and he needs Alhaitham to just fuck him.
He tells Alhaitham exactly that, and tries to contain the flush that comes with spitting the words out and the dark intense from Alhaitham that follows as he shuffles backwards. He treats Kaveh to a few more firm jabs to his prostate, spending pleasure sparking up his spine and making his cock leak more, the precum now smearing over his stomach.
Kaveh watches, bated and excited, as Alhaitham slicks his cock up, and he doesn’t miss the hiss that leaves Alhaitham’s mouth, nor the way his eyelids flutter for a second, as he strokes himself. Devastatingly, he still looks regally handsome as he does, in that far off, untouchable painting way that he always has, even if Kaveh’s eyesight is fogged over with alcohol and lust.
Alhaitham slides one hand to Kaveh’s thigh, lifting it up to hook his ankle over his shoulder, and Kaveh shivers again. He lets his head fall back into the pillows, unable to bear the sight of Alhaitham guiding his cock into Kaveh out of fear he may just come immediately. He feels the blunt press of Alhaitham’s cock at his entrance, before it begins to slide in, friction dragging over Kaveh’s insides in a way that has his hands flying to grip at the sheets, twisting them harshly.
“Fuck, you’re so fucking- shit- so fucking tight-“ Alhaitham groans out, and God he sounds divine like that, like he’s truly amazed and ruined at the fact that he’s inside Kaveh. Kaveh’s chest heaves for breath, frantic, as Alhaitham finishes the glide with a smooth thrust and Kaveh feels himself unravel a bit more.
A wet noise unlike a hiccup or a sob escapes him, as his fingers scramble over the sheets when the tip of Alhaitham’s cock presses into his prostate immediately, electricity shooting up his body.
“Oh- oh-“ he whines, and he sounds so wrecked already because he feels just as wrecked, as Alhaitham turns his head to press a kiss to Kaveh’s ankle, hand still wrapped tightly over it and keeping Kaveh held in that horribly stimulating position. Alhaitham groans again, and it wobbles out of him in a way that has Kaveh’s hips jerking up into his cock. Alhaitham grunts at that, and rewards Kaveh with a thrust straight into his prostate, rough and hard and uncoordinated. He starts up a rhythm like that, messy and frantic, and Kaveh opens his eyes enough to see the way Alhaitham looks truly gone. His cheeks are flushed dark red, and the colours of his eyes are almost completely swallowed by the black of his pupils, leaving just a thin ring of teal. His eyelids are hooded as he stares down at Kaveh, lips parted and still kiss-swollen, glistening with saliva.
Kaveh hears the noise that rips out of him before he realises he’s making it, and he has to close his eyes again when a particularly hard thrust has his cock slapping over his abdomen.
“Nngh- Haitham- oh, please I-“ Kaveh tries to say, but it gets broken off into a ruined moan as Alhaitham slides home again and again.
“Kaveh- Kaveh- you’re-“ Alhaitham says as well, but he’s similarly cut off with a hissing moan, hips spasming erratically. “Are you- fuck- I’m not going to last, shit, you’re so good-“ He’s rambling, and the realisation that Kaveh is making the stoic and silent Alhaitham ramble is what finally unravels him, along with another harsh thrust over his prostate. He’s barely able to shout out a warning to Alhaitham with how quickly his orgasm overcomes him.
His eyes roll back into his head, and he opens his mouth to let out a wretched and broken cry when cum spurts out of his cock all over his stomach. It rolls through him, like a crashing wave, and Kaveh twists underneath Alhaitham, burying the side of his face into the pillow as his entire body breaks out in tremors, leg shaking so much it would fall off Alhaitham’s shoulder if it were not secured there.
“Fuck- Haitham- oh god-“ Kaveh begs, begs and pleads desperately, as his body melts into the sheets with Alhaitham fucks him through his orgasm, until Alhaitham is panting loudly and swearing as he comes to a stuttering halt, hot warmth spilling inside Kaveh and making him sob in overstimulated pleasure. He bucks helplessly again, and Alhaitham gasps lowly, keeling forward. He lets Kaveh’s leg slide off his shoulder, down to the bed, as he leans forward, burying himself deep inside Kaveh. Kaveh hiccups and moans helplessly, reaching up with drunken and fumbling hands to claw at Alhaitham’s back and arms. Alhaitham lets out a moan as well, long and deep, right in Kaveh’s ear, and his body breaks out in goosebumps at the sound of it, thickening the fog in his mind.
It takes a moment for them both to stop panting and come back to themselves. Alhaitham recovers quicker than Kaveh, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he slowly begins to ease out of him, Kaveh twitching at the stimulation of Alhaitham’s cock dragging out of his sensitive hole.
Kaveh peels open his eyes to see Alhaitham huff, ridiculously defined chest still rising and falling rapidly as he swipes his sweat-slicked bangs away from his face. Kaveh almost feels like he could get hard again just looking at Alhaitham like that, still flushed from sex, so he moves to cover his eyes with his forearm, breathing out shakily as he tries to regain coherency.
“You alright?” Alhaitham asks, hoarsely, and Kaveh grunts in response. He feels sticky and kind of gross, but he’s still somewhat drunk so he doesn’t mind too much. He hears Alhaitham get up and disappear for a moment, before there’s the drop of a wet cloth on his stomach, making Kaveh jump. “C’mon. Don’t fall asleep like that. Clean up,” Alhaitham rumbles, and Kaveh sends him a sour look as he picks up the cloth and cleans his stomach up. He grimaces when sitting up slightly makes cum leak out of him, pooling slickly and white on the bed, and he wrinkles his nose as he wipes himself clean there and wipes what he can off the bed.
He feels worn out now, tired, even after he slept a majority of the day away, and Kaveh fumbles around to find his underwear, pulling them back on as Alhaitham does the same. He stifles a yawn with his hand, and shuffles underneath the blankets, shivering in the chill.
“You going to sleep?” Alhaitham asks, raising an eyebrow, and Kaveh nods. Alcohol had always made him drowsy, and with the combined exertion of sex he was truly a few minutes away from falling asleep. Alhaitham doesn’t say anything more, as he switches off the TV (which Kaveh hadn’t even realised was still on. The two main characters are now standing on a misty moor, and the main guy is professing his love in a terribly romantic way). Kaveh wiggles further down, reclining into the pillows and exhaling in contentment, as Alhaitham switches off the room lights and crawls into the bed next to him.
This time, Alhaitham doesn’t shy away from wrapping his arm around Kaveh’s waist, pulling him tight against him, letting Kaveh bury his head into his chest. It’s warm, and he can feel the steady beat of Alhaitham’s heart through his skin, lulling him to sleep. Part of him wonders if he should say something more to Alhaitham, say something like I love you or please don’t let this be a drunken mistake, and part of him wishes Alhaitham would say the same.
They’ve never been very good at talking about their emotions though, so Kaveh lets himself drift away into sleep with only the sound of Alhaitham’s heart and breathing left to hear.
--
When Kaveh wakes, he doesn’t feel anywhere as terrible as he thought he would. His mouth is dry, and his backside aches dully but in a way that pleasantly reminds him of last night, but overall he feels mostly human. It takes him a moment to realise he’s alone in the bed however, cold, and he frowns, before he realises he can hear the shower running. Alhaitham must’ve woken a bit earlier to get ready for their last day of driving.
Kaveh busies himself with cleaning up their room, throwing away the rubbish as he waits for Alhaitham to finish showering.
His chest feels tight with anxiety. He does not know what is to come of them after the night before. Everything has changed in an irreparable way, no matter how much they could try to change it. Kaveh hopes, prays, desperately, that things will change for the better. His heart thumps noisily in his chest at the memory of Alhaitham crowding over him, kissing him, praising him, and a blush creeps into his cheek.
The shower stops, and Kaveh’s breath does as well, as he looks to the door. It takes longer than usual for Alhaitham to exit, and when he does, he’s fully dressed with damp locks of hair framing his face. His eyes lock with Kaveh for a second, and Kaveh’s heart races erratically in expectation. Alhaitham, his perfect mirror, in every way, standing before him, after everything has changed. Kaveh stares and stares into that mirror, breath bated.
Alhaitham’s eyes slide off Kaveh, looking away from him, expression neutral and careless.
“We should get going.”
The mirror shatters along with Kaveh’s hope and heart, and he has to look away before Alhaitham can see the sudden hot sting of tears in his eyes that form at the dismissal. Had it truly meant nothing to Alhaitham? Had Kaveh been reading him wrong this entire time? Had it just been a drunken mistake?
Kaveh nods, swallowing around the lump in his throat, and brushes past Alhaitham without looking at him in order to get into the bathroom, the door swinging loudly shut behind him. It’s only until he’s curled sitting on the shower floor does he realise he forgot to bring clothes in with him, and Kaveh lets his tears drain down the shower drain.
--
Kaveh drives.
It’s silent in the car. Terrifyingly, chokingly. Suffocating.
Kaveh fiddled with the radio, anxiety thick and palpable, until some stupid classical music came on and he left it, remaining focused on the drive. They would be home tonight. It was nearly over. He’s filled with the sudden crushing desire to be in his own bedroom, to be with his cat Mehrak and to bury his face in her warm fur. Nilou had sent him a picture that morning of her, and he’d nearly cried again. He just wanted this to be over. This horrible silence in the car with Alhaitham. He thought things would change. He thought that- that maybe something more could’ve happened between them.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Finally, after an hour, he relents, the words stuck and choking in his throat.
“Haitham we should-“
“Just drive. There’s nothing to talk about.” Alhaitham’s voice is devastatingly firm and emotionless. The Alhaitham that Kaveh hadn’t appear in this car once these past few days returns so violently.
If Kaveh thought his heart had been broken this morning, it is nothing compared to what he feels now, a rough and callous splintering in his chest as Alhaitham’s words smack into him. Nothing to talk about. His bottom lip trembles, and Kaveh really doesn’t want to cry. Not here, not stuck in a car with Alhaitham for hours with no escape. He doesn’t want to cry.
Two tears slip down his cheeks, defiant despite his efforts, and he rubs them away on his shoulders, clenching his jaw tightly to stop anything more embarrassing slipping out of him.
They’re going to get home tonight, and they can put this entire thing behind them. They can just pretend it never happened, since that’s what Alhaitham wants. They can exit this bubble of intimacy and closeness, and re-enter their careful distance that they had retained as roommates for so long.
Just a few more hours.
--
Kaveh skips the next rest stop, because he wants to continue ignoring Alhaitham as he drives, and because he’d planned that one specifically since it had nice pretty views and he had wanted Alhaitham to enjoy it with him, but now he doesn’t care. Alhaitham doesn’t comment on it whatsoever, and that ignites a bubbling hurt anger inside Kaveh, but he keeps his jaw tightly clenched.
The hours pass by quickly, and too slowly at the same time. Neither of them really speak. Kaveh drives. Alhaitham reads. Kaveh grieves. Alhaitham ignores.
Eventually, Kaveh gets hungry enough to stop at the next town they pass through. He doesn’t say anything to Alhaitham as he pulls into the café, and flees the car, desperately sucking in air that is not filled with the scent and memory of Alhaitham from the night before. The one that had stroked Kaveh’s face and thighs. The one that had trailed kisses down his neck and chest. That Alhaitham had not followed Kaveh into the car.
Alhaitham still doesn’t comment, as they both get some lunch at the café, and Alhaitham wordlessly takes over the driving for Kaveh. Kaveh almost wants to insist that he should keep driving, but he doesn’t want to speak to Alhaitham.
It works better anyways. Kaveh can lean against the window and watch the scenery blur past them, the hum of the music from the radio the only noise. He thinks maybe he should try saying something to Alhaitham, to insist that they should talk about it, but his words and callous dismissal still hurt Kaveh terribly so.
The sky darkens over them. They should be about five hours from home. They would arrive late, granted, just past midnight, but Kaveh is all too eager for it.
That is, until two hours into Alhaitham driving and an hour out of the town they’d stopped in, Alhaitham slips up in his careful driving. They hit a pothole, hard enough that Kaveh’s head thumps against the ceiling of the car and he grunts in pain, and there’s a terrifying bang from the back end of the car that has the both of them flinching.
The car rockets violently, up and down, and Alhaitham swears loudly as he wrenches it to the side of the road. Kaveh can smell burning rubber, and his stomach falls out of his feet. No. Please. No.
Alhaitham stops the car, and gets out, and Kaveh follows, and his fear is confirmed when he stares at the busted tyre. It’s completed deflated, and Alhaitham swears again underneath his breath, rubbing his hand over his face. Kaveh doesn’t even feel angry at it.
He just feels defeated, and tears threaten to clog him again. Alhaitham opens the boot of the car, shuffles around, before he’s swearing again, louder, angrier than Kaveh has ever heard him.
“Of course there’s no fucking spare tyre,” Alhaitham says, and it sounds like a death sentence. The defeat claws at Kaveh, dragging him down as he squats down, wrapping his arm around his knees as he stares at the tyre. “I’m going to try to call the town back that way. I saw a mechanic, they might come out.”
They were so close to home. So, so close. And it’s been ripped so cruelly away from Kaveh, his freedom. The mechanic, if they’re even willing to come out, won’t reach them for another two hours. They’ll have to stop somewhere for the night, or drive until the sun is nearly rising. It’s set completely over them now, plunging them into hopeless darkness.
Kaveh had let a few tears escape in the shower this morning. He’d let two slip out in the car. Now, they come full force, streaming down his cheeks as he buries his face into his knees, feeling his breath and shoulders hitch as he begins to weep.
He can hear Alhaitham pause, standing nearby him, and Kaveh thinks that if Alhaitham says anything to him right now, he might just completely break down.
Somehow, the sound of Alhaitham calling the mechanic from the town behind them, dismissing Kaveh’s cries, hurts worse, and a sob rips out of Kaveh’s throat as his broken heart cracks a little more. He’d wished he’d known how little Alhaitham had truly cared for him before going on this stupid road trip. He wished he’d known before he’d let Alhaitham kiss him last night.
Kaveh sobs more, even when he hear Alhaitham get off the phone after thanking the person there, and Alhaitham just stands there beside him as he cries on the side of the road in the darkness.
“Kaveh-“ Alhaitham starts, and Kaveh shakes his head violently, hiding his face more.
“Please don’t. Just don’t,” he begs through his tears, and he hears Alhaitham shakily inhale. He doesn’t say anything more, and Kaveh can’t tell if he’s thankful or not as he cries out all the emotions he’s trapped inside himself.
He doesn’t stop crying for a long time. Alhaitham doesn’t say anything at all.
--
Eventually, Kaveh tires of crying, and sits back in the car. He curls onto the backseats and wraps the blanket around himself, sniffling pathetically. Alhaitham watched him go, something tight and pensive in his face.
In the backseat, sits Alhaitham’s poetry book. Alhaitham is still outside the car, since the mechanic shouldn’t be far away and probably because Alhaitham at least had the courtesy to give Kaveh space.
In an attempt to distract himself from the ache in his chest, Kaveh reaches forward and picks up the book. One of the pages is dog-eared, and Kaveh flicks to it. On the page is the love poem that Alhaitham had read the other day. There are a few notes scribbled around it, mostly about speculation of the ‘bright star’. Kaveh turns the page, and reads the title. It’s circled in red.
‘How Do I Love Thee’ by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
Kaveh reads the poem, and feels his lip tremble as he does. He can hear the low timbre of Alhaitham’s voice in his mind, as if he were reading it out to him, and he wishes he didn’t.
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight.
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.”
Kaveh feels a tear drip down into his hair from where he’s laid on his side. There are notes scribbled down the bottom of it too in Alhaitham’s beautiful cursive handwriting.
Kaveh would like this one. Read to him. Maybe Paul Éluard? (next page)?? Might fluster him.
Hurt sparks through him.
It might fluster him?
Was Alhaitham doing all this to mess with him?
Furious, he flips the page to the next poem. There’s two paragraphs. One in French, and the other in English. Kaveh reads the English, and his throat tightens.
“I looked in front of me
In the crowd I say you
Among the wheat field I saw you
Under a tree I saw you
At the end of all my travels
At the bottom of all my torments
At the turn of all the laughter
Coming out of the water and fire
Summer winter I saw you
In my house I saw you
In my arms I saw you
In my dreams I saw you
I will not leave you anymore”
The words house and dreams are circled. His name is written next to them, along with the words Romantic, would be well received. Might be too intimate.
His anger flares again, and Kaveh snaps the book shut, and sits upright. How had he not known Alhaitham to be a cruel man? To mock his love so plainly in front of him? Kaveh had known Alhaitham for so long, yet he had not perceived this cruel and heartless side to him. To read Kaveh love poetry just to fluster him.
He slams open the car door, and scrambles up, book still clutched tightly in hand. Alhaitham is leant against the back of the car, wind ruffling his coat and hair, and he’s so beautiful it hurts, and it only serves to build the fire inside Kaveh more until it feels as though it may consume him. Alhaitham turns to look at him, eyes softened in the night.
“You fucking bastard. How dare you?” Kaveh spits, and then he’s hurling the poetry book at Alhaitham’s head. Alhaitham startles, hands flying to catch it before he tucks it against his chest, stepping away from the car with wide and surprised eyes. He looks down at the book, and back up to Kaveh, lips parted.
“Kaveh-“ Alhaitham starts, but Kaveh will not hear it.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you fucking serious? Reading me fucking poems because you think I’d like them?” Kaveh yells, hands thrown in the air, and for a second, Kaveh swears he can see hurt flicker across Alhaitham’s face as his grip tightens on the book. “How could you? Is this all some stupid fucking game to you? Just to get a fucking rise out of me? Here’s your rise, Alhaitham! Here’s your fucking rise!” Kaveh’s voice cracks over his scream, and his heart is racing so painfully and loudly it only adds to the hurting ache in his chest. He feels tears, hot and unforgiving, slip down his cheeks. Alhaitham’s eyes widen more, and one of his hands moves to reach out to Kaveh.
“That isn’t- Let me explain-“
“No, no, you’re the one who said there was nothing to fucking talk about! Well I fucking think there is, Alhaitham. If I had known you felt like this, I would’ve taken the first fucking flight home by myself. I would’ve never agreed to this stupid fucking trip with you,” Kaveh rages, and this time he can see the hurt on Alhaitham’s face, struck over his features like paint, his hand dropping to his side. What right does he have, to be hurt? After what he has done? “I knew you could be an asshole, but I didn’t realise it was to this extent. Fuck you, Alhaitham, fuck you.” Kaveh’s voice breaks, and it sounds just how he feels, his hands trembling in clenched fists by his side as the tears don’t stop. Alhaitham still stares at him, hurt and silent in that horrible way he always is.
Kaveh sniffs then, dragging his forearm over his face to smear the tears there. The fight drains out of him quickly. Burnt out. Extinguished by his love for Alhaitham and his resignment that nothing in his life could ever truly go the way he wanted it to, just once.
“How could you be so cruel to me? How could you mock me so? I thought I meant more to you than that. I thought- after last night that maybe you felt the same, but this entire time, you’ve just been toying with me. Do I mean so little, Alhaitham? Are you so bored and uncontented with your life that you would take to fucking with my love for you like so?” Kaveh drops to a whispered plea, shaking, wet and thick, and he curls his arms around himself, holding himself tight against the wind that threatens to blow him away with the dust that remains of his soul.
Alhaitham’s face clears, and his lips part again, like he’s come to a realisation, and he steps forward again. He places the book on the roof of the car as he walks to Kaveh, and Kaveh back pedals, shaking his head, tears flinging from his eyes.
“Don’t- Alhaitham. Please. You’ve- you’ve been cruel enough to me. Couldn’t you have just let me love you in peace? Why did you have to kiss me, if you don’t mean it?” Kaveh chokes out, looking away from Alhaitham as he curls tighter around himself. He wants to be at home, home, in his bedroom, even if it’s in the same house as Alhaitham. He wants to be surrounded in familiar comfort, he wants to be buried in his blankets in his bed where he can forget about this entire thing and the fact that Alhaitham has just been fucking with him.
“Kaveh, that isn’t- you’re wrong. You’re jumping to irrational conclusions,” Alhaitham says, voice steady, as he steps closer, and Kaveh lets out a sharp and hurt laugh, rubbing his face again. He’s shaking now, all over, and he doesn’t know if it’s from the cold or the pain.
“Irrational? Tell me, what else am I supposed to think?” Kaveh tries to say it with anger, but it comes out more of a plea, as he lifts his head to look at Alhaitham. He’s no more than a metre away from him, and his face looks terribly tender. It stings more.
“Kaveh-“
There’s the honk of a car horn, and gravel crunching under tyres. Headlights shine onto them, and Kaveh turns to hide his face from it immediately, scrubbing furiously.
The mechanic was here.
Alhaitham makes an annoyed grunt, and he pauses, staring at Kaveh for a moment longer. Kaveh can feel his eyes presence on him, as Kaveh tries to stop his shaking, tries to stop his tears from flowing even as his breath begins to hitch.
Alhaitham walks towards the mechanic, and Kaveh turns towards the road ahead and walks towards home.
He can hear Alhaitham talking to the mechanic, voice carefully masked with neutrality, distracted, but it fades out the further Kaveh walks, shivering in the cold night. It must be only an hour or two away from midnight by now. They’re a three hour drive from home, and Kaveh is ill-dressed for the autumn night in the country, but he doesn’t care. He would rather walk the rest of the way home then be stuck in the car with Alhaitham for a minute longer.
His shoulders shake as he cries and keeps walking, leaving his love and pain behind him, feet crunching over the gravel. He’s pretty sure he’s left his phone in the car, but he doesn’t want to turn back.
He must walk for about fifteen or twenty minutes, crying silently to himself, before there’s the rumbling of an engine and the glow of headlights behind him, and their car pulls up beside him, window rolled down. The mechanic must’ve worked quickly. It would’ve cost Alhaitham a lot of money.
“Kaveh, what are you doing? Get in the car. You can’t walk home,” Alhaitham calls, voice raised to be heard over the wind and engine. Kaveh ignores him, and keeps walking, even when Alhaitham holds the car at a low speed to match Kaveh’s pace. “Kaveh, don’t be like this. Let’s talk. I’m sorry for saying there was nothing to talk about, okay? I want to talk.”
“Oh, now you want to talk. You just want to get me into the car so that you won’t feel guilty about leaving me here. Well, it’s fine. I’d rather walk the rest of the fucking way home then be in the car with you anymore,” Kaveh snaps back, and he hears Alhaitham sigh. The car speeds up for a moment, and for a fearful second, Kaveh thinks Alhaitham might actually leave him behind.
Turns out, he’s just getting ahead of Kaveh so that he can park the car to the side, and he steps out of the car. Kaveh stops where he is, frozen, unsure of whether to turn back or not, and Alhaitham starts walking briskly towards him. Fast. Kaveh steps backwards, but Alhaitham is basically already upon him, using Kaveh’s shock to his advantage as he grasps Kaveh’s wrist and holds him tight.
“No. You’re wrong. You’re completely wrong. If you really want me to leave you here, I wouldn’t feel guilty about it. You’re wrong that I was- I was doing all that to mess with you though. You couldn’t be further from the truth, Kaveh. So please, please, come to the car so we can talk. You’re shivering, and you’re going to get sick if you stay out here anymore,” Alhaitham demands, voice firm and hard, and Kaveh blinks at him with wide eyes.
He wants to resist, but part of him is curious as to know what the ‘truth’ really was, so he lets Alhaitham drag him back to the car. The heater is on when Kaveh climbs in, and it defrosts the cold of his bones a little. Still, he pulls his knees up to his chest as he sits on the passenger seat, tucking them under his chin as he stares forward and refuses to look at Alhaitham getting into the drivers seat next to him.
Alhaitham doesn’t move the car, but he locks the doors. He turns to face Kaveh as best as he can in the seat. Despite Alhaitham’s insistence that they talk, he’s silent for a long minute, and Kaveh grows anxiously impatient.
“Well? Y-you wanted to talk,” Kaveh spits out, even though his voice shakes. Alhaitham sighs, and out of the corner of his eye, he can see him drag a hand through his hair.
“I’m just trying to think of what to say. I’m sorry if I made you think I thought last night was a mistake,” Alhaitham starts, and Kaveh almost flinches. His breath catches wetly in his throat. He feels unravelled again, but nowhere near the same way that he was last night underneath Alhaitham. “I would never- I could never think that was a mistake. I was- I was scared though. That you might think it was, or that it was just- just some drunken fling for you,” Alhaitham sighs, and surprise shoots through Kaveh as he whips his head to look at Alhaitham, eyes wide. Not a mistake? Scared?
Kaveh opens his mouth to speak, but Alhaitham lifts his hand to stop him, shaking his head. He smiles though, soft and handsome in all those ways that tear Kaveh’s walls down, tipping his head to the side. That canine tooth of his that protrudes slightly more forward than the rest catches on his bottom lip, a tiny white sliver. Like a knife into Kaveh’s back.
“The poetry I- I will admit some of that was because I liked seeing how flustered you get. That wasn’t why it started though. You know me, Kaveh, you know I am not good at speaking of these things. Reading them made it… easier to tell you the way I felt without saying it straight to your face, I suppose. It was a cheap way to hide, and I never intended for you to think it was a way to mess with you. Never,” Alhaitham reaches forward then, and clasps Kaveh’s hands in his, pulling Kaveh around to face him and keeping his hands covered with his own.
His eyes are intense as they stare at Kaveh’s, and his thumb caresses the back of Kaveh’s hand gently. It is a burning terrible touch that ignites everything inside Kaveh with desperate hope and longing as he waits for Alhaitham to continue speaking.
“Kaveh, I-“ Alhaitham stops for a moment, and there’s a very faint blush to his ears and cheek. He’s nervous, Kaveh realises with a dull shock to the system. He’s never really seen Alhaitham nervous. Alhaitham swallows thickly, and his eyes dart down to Kaveh’s hands. Like he can’t say what he wants to say whilst looking at Kaveh. “Kaveh, I love you. I’m in love with you. Everything was just an attempt to get you to know that.”
Kaveh’s breath catches again, and he had stopped crying for a moment from surprise, but the tears come back again, sliding down his cheeks. Alhaitham looks back up at his face, and his nervous tender expression falters into surprised fear, one of his hands reaching out to touch Kaveh’s face. Alhaitham loves me.
“Did I say- did I say something wrong? Why are you crying again?” Kaveh laughs in response, and then he smiles so hard that his cheeks strain with it as he pushes his face into Alhaitham’s hand. Alhaitham still looks worried, but slightly more confused, as he swipes a few of Kaveh’s tears away with his thumb, and Kaveh laughs more. His heart feels so light all of the sudden, like it’s been magically sewn back together with the thread of Alhaitham’s words, and there is a bubbling feeling of sheer joy and happiness inside him, spreading from his chest out to his extremities.
“You didn’t- you didn’t say anything wrong. You’re just so stupid. Reading me love poems because you were too shy to say it to me. You’re so dumb, Alhaitham, God, I love you so much,” Kaveh chuckles, and Alhaitham’s face shifts into a gentle smile again, eyes crinkling at the edges. “You’re nearly fucking thirty. We’ve known each other since we were 15. How could you not tell I loved you by now?”
“I could say the same for you. It’s always been you, for me, Kaveh, and it always will be,” Alhaitham laughs as well, a deep and heartfelt noise that Kaveh rarely gets to hear. They both lean forward at the same time, as if pulled by a string, and let their lips meet.
It tastes of the salt of Kaveh’s tears, but neither of them mind, as Alhaitham holds Kaveh’s face close to him, lips moving slowly, unhurried. They had all the time in the world after all, even if they were in a parked car three hours from home in the middle of nowhere.
After losing himself into the feeling of Alhaitham’s love and kisses, sober and unheated, Kaveh is struck with a sudden memory, and he finds himself giggling against Alhaitham’s lips. They don’t pull away, and Kaveh feels Alhaitham’s smile curve against his mouth, pecking it softly again.
“What’s got you giggling now, hm?” Alhaitham asks, tenderly, lightly, words puffed over Kaveh’s face as he moves to kiss the corner of Kaveh’s lips and cheek.
“I think we just lost Tighnari a lot of money.”
--
At some point they have to stop kissing to keep driving home. The clock tells them it’s nearly midnight, as Alhaitham starts up the car again, and takes them the rest of the way home. Kaveh had insisted he’d stay awake to keep Alhaitham company, their hands now clasped together between them, but Kaveh barely makes an hour into the rest of the drive before he falls asleep against the door of the car.
He wakes to Alhaitham kissing his forehead as he’s picking him up again, and he lets out a sleepy mumble of confusion. Alhaitham shushes him softly, scooping him up bridal-style like he had done those nights before. This time, though, Alhaitham pauses to kiss Kaveh again on his cheeks, before carrying him the rest of the way inside of their house, their home.
They’re home.
“We’re home, Kaveh,” Alhaitham whispers, quietly, and Kaveh moves slightly in Alhaitham’s arms to reach up and wrap his forearms around Alhaitham’s neck and shoulders, tugging him down into another kiss.
They were home. Together. At last.