Chapter Text
“Bea–”
“Beatrice–”
Ava and J.C. say at the same time.
“I see you got Ava home.” J.C. said.
Beatrice didn’t dignify that with an answer. Her stare could poke a hole through Ava, “Do you normally kiss your friends?”
J.C. turned to Ava. “You didn’t tell her?”
“ You didn’t tell her.” Ava whispered.
“Tell me what?”
Ava wanted to take Beatrice’s hand, lead her inside her apartment, sit her down and explain everything to her at a steady pace. She was convinced she could taper Beatrice’s anger, at least somewhat, if she was given the chance. But when J.C. put an arm through Ava’s shoulder, she knew she was going to have to take the brunt of Beatrice’s anger.
“We’re together.” J.C. announced. She was weirdly thankful that J.C. broke the news. It was like ripping the bandaid. Now all Ava had to do was stop the bleeding.
Beatrice’s lips parted. “So you pursued me while you were with someone?”
“I’m sorry, Bea–”
“Yeah, well–”
Ava and J.C. cut each other off again. J.C. looked at Ava. “Wait, you pursued her, too?”
Ava didn’t remove her eyes from Beatrice who was already shaking her head and backing away. Beatrice turned and went for the stairs, it got Ava’s legs working. “Bea–”
Beatrice whipped around so fast Ava nearly knocked into her. “Do NOT call me that. Don’t call me, ever.” She fixed her gaze at J.C. “You, too.” Before leaving.
A dark cloud settled in the pit of her stomach. The tides changed so fast. This morning, Ava was hoping against hope that she wasn’t dreaming, but now it’s all she could wish for.
“Wow, Ava. Do you know what this means?” JC said.
She walked past him without so much as a glance his way.
His tone was lively and excited. “We’re, like, really meant for each other. I mean, we went for the same woman and got shot down together. That gets a high-five.”
“We cheated on each other, J.C.”
“Which cancels it out!”
Ava felt the wave of exhaustion take over her. She started to close the door on him. “We’re done.”
“Wait–” the door cut him out.
Ava seized her phone and called Beatrice. She immediately went to voicemail. She sent out several texts – “Please talk to me”, “I really like you”, “let me fix this”, ”please”.
In the entirety of one week, Ava has probably visited the coffee shop enough times to cement herself as a regular. In all times, she would barely get the glass door to open before she would catch a glimpse of Beatrice disappearing into the staffroom
Today, she tried again.
“Hey, there!” Camila manned the counter.
“Hey,” Ava said with a heavy sigh.
“Sorry. She’s not on the menu.” Camila teased before softening her voice, “She’ll warm up eventually.”
“You think so?”
Camila made a face. “Just keep trying.”
“How mad is she?”
Camila sucked air between her teeth. “Uhhh, mad. With a capital M.”
Ava buried her face in her hands with a groan. “I don't know what to do. She won’t talk to me. I tried everything.”
Not everything. She wanted to go to Beatrice’s place but she couldn’t recall the address because she snored all the way there. She thought she could ask Camila but was afraid it might border on alarmingly desperate. Outside of an emergency or legal reasons, finding one’s address from somebody other than the occupant was toeing the line between genuine remorse and stalkery.
So she only had three viable options, (1) bombarding Beatrice’s number with texts which Ava hoped were sent in reasonable intervals, (2) calling Beatrice, which she has done, all of them unanswered and unreturned, and (3) visiting Beatrice’s workplace, which she has done, but Beatrice was quick to hand the baton to another co-worker.
Camila squinted at her monitor. A receipt shot out. “‘ No espresso please ’. You ordered a flat white, how am I gonna do that?” Camila asked out loud before giving Ava a pointed look.
Ava went home and installed the food delivery app.
***
The coffee shop was at the top suggestion on coffee places. Ava ordered her usual and in the instructions box, she typed, “ I’m sorry, B. Let me make it right. Please. I miss you. ”
When the order arrived, the drink was put aside. She rummaged in the paper bag and pulled out the receipt. Ava hoped for a handwritten reply at the back or any kind of acknowledgement that Beatrice saw her message. But there was nothing. She looked inside the bag again, turning it which way, in case something was written on the bag itself. Nothing.
Disheartened, she took a sip of the drink.
Oh .
Beatrice made it.
She knew it was stupid to believe that. After all, the baristas only had to follow the same sets of instructions from management.
But Ava didn’t limit herself to the taste. To support her hypothesis, she observed how it had the perfect drink-to-ice ratio, that after the lid is put on, it won’t overflow, how the caramel was smeared evenly on all sides...She reflected that it wasn’t a matter of intuition, it was a matter of necessity. Ava had to believe Beatrice made it. It was the only sign that Beatrice hasn’t completely burned their bridge – even if it hinged upon a customer-worker service relationship.
The next day, Ava ordered through the delivery app again.
Additional instruction:
“ Hi, B! Had a long morning. I needed coffee from you but I was afraid you won’t wanna see me there :c Please tell me if you’re ready to talk. I miss you a whole bunch
- Ava. X ”
Ava waited by the door with her phone in case Beatrice would want to respond via text. She considered just simply texting Beatrice all her messages but she liked the restriction that ordering through the app gave her.
When there was no response, Ava tried again on another day.
Additional instruction:
“ Hello BB! Missed you extra today! I needed a pick-me-up. I would prefer you but coffee works too. I added a muffin with my order this time. It’s for you. Please have it
- Ava. X ”
When the order arrived, the muffin came with it.
The next day, Ava opened the app again.
Additional instruction:
“ So sorry about calling you BB yesterday. I only noticed when I got the order. Unless you want me to call you that? I’ll call you whatever you want B. You didn’t take the muffin yesterday :c You don’t like muffins? How about cookies? Please take the cookie with this order. Call me. I miss you!
- Ava. X ”
When the order arrived, the cookie was recorded in the receipt but it wasn’t there. Ava felt her heart soar.
By the fifth order, Ava was thankful that her usual drink wasn’t as expensive as their other offers. Remorse, as it turns out, was expensive.
Additional instruction:
“All this ordering made me realize I don’t know your favorite drink. What is it? Text it to me so I can order it on here and you can just take it! Or do you want something else from another restaurant? Let me know. I ordered a cookie again because I think you like it. Please have it
- Ava. X”
When the order got to her, Ava was dejected to find out that the cookie was there. She checked her inbox and there were 0 messages from Beatrice. “Not hungry, huh?” Ava said out loud. Ava knew she had to go back to the drawing board. Either Beatrice was still ignoring her or every time she orders, it’s not Beatrice who sees it.
The complete silence from her was making Ava crazy. She looked at all the coffee cups she had washed and stacked by the window sill. Looking at the cup tower made her feel irritated. She couldn’t give Ava a crumb of acknowledgement? A sign that she’s apologizing the way Beatrice even wants to?
Stealing a glance at the clock and confirming if Beatrice would still be there, she ordered again.
Additional information:
“Beatrice, please. This is a bit unfair. Can’t you give me a chance to talk? I’m dying over here. I know I made a mistake but please I want to make things right with you. I want you and that hasn’t changed. I’ve broken things off with J.C. We’re done now, okay? Too late I know but I was done with him the day that I met you. I want to start fresh with you. PLEASE CALL ME OR ELSE I’LL GO THERE AND ENTER THE STAFFROOM. I’LL DRAG YOU OUTSIDE. DON’T THINK I WON’T DO THAT. I’LL USE CAMILA IF I HAVE TO”
Ava placed the order. About ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door. That was too fast.
When Ava swung the door open, Beatrice stood outside. She was in her barista uniform, with her hair up in a ponytail. She looked exactly like the first day she saw her. Beatrice was on a call and Ava caught the tail end of the conversation, “Don’t mind her threat, Camila, I’m already here.”
“Beatrice.”
She dropped the call and strolled in without waiting to be invited. She had her hands shoved in her pockets while she slowly took in the apartment. Ava felt like she was being investigated, like Beatrice was looking for another transgression with the way she kept her hands to herself, not wanting to contaminate any possible evidence. But Ava has cleared her photos with J.C. and any other memorabilia of the relationship. It was probably rotting in the dump along with last week’s trash.
Beatrice stopped in the middle of the living room when she noticed the stack of coffee cups. The bottom cup was the one with her number. She let out a deep sigh before she let her eyes finally land on Ava.
“Beatrice,” Ava said again.
“A red eye.”
Ava blinked. “What?”
“Red eye.” Beatrice took a seat on a lounge chair. She reached over to swipe the cup tower from the window sill. She turned it in her hands. “How I take my coffee.”
“Oh,”
The setting sun casted a soft glow on Beatrice’s profile. It reminded Ava of the first time she watched Beatrice make her drink, “ Always nice to have sunshine in your coffee .”
“I miss you,” Ava said.
Beatrice didn’t acknowledge it, neither in words nor in actions.
“I can’t have it every day, though, unlike some coffee varieties.” Ava realized she was still finishing her prior answer. As though Ava hasn’t really said anything of value.
“Bea, I’m sorry. I really am. I–I should have told you when we first talked or the day after that, I don’t really have an excuse for–”
“It’s really strong. Drip coffee with a double espresso shot.” Beatrice clicked her tongue. She put the stack back on the window sill, turning it until the written message faced them. “If you took it right now, you wouldn’t be able to sleep for a week.”
Ava’s brows met in the middle, she didn’t know how to proceed or what game Beatrice was playing. She gave her head a little shake, confused.
Beatrice inhaled. “What’s your favorite drink?”
Ava’s brows furrowed deeper. There was a loaded silence. Beatrice crossed her legs and twiddled her thumbs, waiting. Ava knew she had been given a chance to redeem herself, Beatrice wouldn’t have shown up in her apartment if it were otherwise. But clearly Beatrice didn’t want her to just explain her side away.
“I-iced caramel macchiato.” Ava answered. As though Beatrice didn’t know it.
“Hmm,” she nodded in approval. “Classic.”
And then, sort of getting what Beatrice wanted, she tried, “Do you make them a lot?”
“Oh, yeah. A lot.”
There was a tiny smirk and it was all Ava needed to push forward. “More so recently?”
“Yeah. These past few days…with such odd requests.”
“Like what?”
Beatrice tilted her head, amused. “Like…taking a cookie.”
In her last order, Ava mentioned she wanted a fresh start. Beatrice was literally giving her that.
“Did it taste good?”
Beatrice shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. Camila took it.”
“That wasn’t very nice of her.”
“That’s what I told her. I said it was mine.”
“It was. But you didn’t take the muffin?”
“The muffin had peanuts.”
“You’re allergic?”
“No, I just don’t like peanuts.”
“And the second cookie?”
“I was full.” Beatrice cocked her head. “How’d you know there was a muffin and a cookie?”
It was an opening, Beatrice was allowing her to recognize a fact. “I–made the order.”
“Aahh,” Beatrice slowly nodded. “That would make sense. Why didn’t you just come into the coffee shop?”
“I–somebody’s mad at me there.”
“Oh?”
“I fucked up.”
Beatrice let a beat pass. “What did you do?”
Ava wrung her hands in front of her. “I–asked somebody out when I was still in a relationship.”
Beatrice’s mouth was in a hard line.
“And what’s worse was my boyfriend also pursued the same girl.”
Beatrice feigned surprise. Brows shooting up and mouth forming an o. “That is fucked up.”
“Yeah,” Ava breathed.
“What did you do?”
“She wouldn’t talk to me–”
“Understandably.”
“Right, so, um.” Ava gestured to the stack. “I had to get creative.”
Beatrice turned her head, pointedly looking at the coffee cup tower. “I can see that.”
Ava felt something snap inside of her and all of her emotions came spilling. “Beatrice, I’m so–”
“That was incredibly stupid of you.”
When Beatrice turned back to look at Ava, the hurt was clearly etched in her face. The game was over. Ava clamped her mouth shut.
“What was keeping you from telling me?”
“I don’t know–”
“I know. And I know that you know. I want to hear it from you.”
Ava took a shaky breath. “Bea, I didn’t–”
“Ava.” The warning was laced in her name. Ava knew Beatrice was going to walk out if she said anything else.
“I wanted…” Ava started. “I wanted the same thing J.C. wanted. A safety net. If you rejected me, I still had him. If you rejected him, he still had me. I’m no better than him.”
“Give yourself more credit. What you did was worse. He cheated on you. But you let it happen because you thought it would absolve you. And I was just somewhere in between. He was an idiot for doing what he did, but you…what you did was cruel.”
“I know, Bea.”
Beatrice stood up. Ava has always known that the other girl was taller by only a few inches, but at that moment, Beatrice seemed to tower over her.
Beatrice crossed her arms. “Say it.”
“I was cruel.”
“To who?”
“To you.”
Beatrice pushed Ava down the couch and wasted no time climbing on her lap. She pulled Ava by the hair, exposing her neck. Ava could only gasp when she felt Beatrice brush her lips on the crook of her neck.
“Say it again.”
Ava struggled to get a complete breath. “I was cruel to you.”
Beatrice hoisted her barista uniform off in one swift motion. Ava could only catch a glimpse of her bra before Beatrice swooped back down and pressed her lips onto Ava’s. The kiss was filled with anger, longing, and relief.
“Say you’re sorry,” Beatrice demanded.
“I’m sorry,”
The apology barely passed between them when they kissed again, deeper this time. Wanting Beatrice closer, Ava hooked her fingers in her belt loops and pulled her forward. That motion got a moan from Beatrice and the sound made Ava wetter than she already was.
Beatrice pulled back and started tugging up Ava’s shirt. Ava could see the anticipation in Beatrice’s eyes, the hunger. The thought that she was the one Beatrice wanted made her dig her nails on the couch from holding back.
Beatrice raked Ava’s hair out of her face. “Close your eyes.”
“What? No.”
“Close them.”
“I wanna see you.”
Beatrice unbuttoned Ava’s shorts and slid them off. “You can either see me or feel me.” Beatrice knelt down, placed her palms on Ava’s knees and parted legs. “But you can’t have both.” Beatrice planted a kiss so chaste on the inside of her thigh. Ava shuddered. “Choose.”
It was the easiest choice Ava has ever made. She let her head fall on the couch’s backrest. She caught sight of her pilea that needed watering days ago before she closed her eyes.
Ava felt Beatrice reach up behind her back to undo her bra. Ava bit her lip, fighting the urge to see what Beatrice was doing, reading what her face was making.
Eliminating her sight must have heightened her sense of touch, because the moment she felt Beatrice’s tongue take in her hardened nipple, she thought she would come right there. Ava clawed her nails on Beatrice’s back as her nipple got properly sucked.
“Slide down a bit, baby.”
Ava did.
“Jesus, Ava. You’re soaked through.”
She felt Beatrice’s tongue as it flicked over her panties. She cursed the obstruction and started pushing her panties down while keeping her eyes closed shut.
She heard Beatrice chuckle. “I think you’d wanna see this.”
Not needing any more prompting, Ava opened her eyes. She saw Beatrice smirk before she dipped her head and licked the front of her pussy in an agonizing, delicious streak.
Beatrice pulled back and parted Ava’s legs wider. “Do you feel yourself dripping?”
Ava couldn’t but she didn’t doubt it.
“I liked you better when you were between my legs.” Ava reached over to push Beatrice’s head back down.
Beatrice didn’t resist.
She sucked, nibbled and teased Ava’s clit. When she pushed a tongue in, Ava’s eyes disappeared behind her eyelids. “Fuck, Bea.”
When Beatrice withdrew again, Ava whimpered in protest, her bottom lip sticking out.
Beatrice tsked, “So impatient.”
“You’ve been teasing me forever.”
“You like it.”
“I would like it more if you–” Ava’s hunched over when she felt Beatrice ease a finger inside her.
Holy fuck.
Beatrice was right. Ava was so wet there was barely any resistance. “This is what you wanted?” Beatrice’s fingers started moving inside her, hitting the right spot every time. Ava nodded.
“Talk to me,” Beatrice ordered with gritted teeth. Her finger curled slightly inside Ava and it got her moaning.
“Yes! Yes, Bea. This is what I want.”
Beatrice’s other hand found its way to Ava’s clit. Her thumb brushed lightly over the sensitive spot. Ava bowled over. “Bea, please.”
“Please, what?”
“Please,” Ava was panting. “Fuck me.”
A second finger slid inside while a thumb started moving in steady circles over Ava’s clit. She was gushing.
Beatrice quickly found a rhythm and Ava matched it.
“I tease you too much, huh?”
“ Fuck ,”
“You thought I was all talk?”
Ava’s moans were coming up in rapid succession.
“You thought I wouldn’t get you moaning like this?”
“Bea…”
Her breaths became rough and ragged. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck . Ava felt her insides twist and tighten as she relished in every stroke Beatrice made. Sensing that Ava was close, Beatrice quickened her pace.
Ava’s legs tensed. Her hand shot out to grab Beatrice’s shoulder. She hung on for dear life as her orgasm ripped through her. Waves of pleasure washed over her. After a moment, she felt herself coming back down.
They arranged themselves side by side on the couch. Ava rested her head on Beatrice’s chest. While Beatrice enveloped her in an embrace.
“I can’t believe you ordered six times.”
Ava gasped. “Omg. Bea.”
“What?”
Ava checked her phone. The app said her coffee got delivered a few minutes ago. Ava hurriedly put on her shirt back before peeking out her door. She returned with her coffee that was left right outside. Ava felt her cheeks burn. “Do you think they heard me?”
Beatrice sat up. “You should be more worried about the person behind this wall.”
Ava made a face. “I think she’s a nun.”
“Oof. How old?”
“ Old , old. I think she was there during the first resurrection.”
“You should take penance." Beatrice parted her legs. "Quick. Drop on your knees right here.”
Ava laughed. She put a straw in and took a sip. She squinted, “It’s not...”
“Mine?”
It was all the confirmation Ava needed. In all six orders, Beatrice made every single one.
Beatrice shrugged. “Couldn't make it this time. I was a bit busy here.”
Ava left her drink on the counter and made her way back to Beatrice. It was her turn to straddle the girl’s lap.
“You need to pay me back for those six orders.” Ava planted a kiss on Beatrice’s cheek.
Beatrice laughed. “How do you like to be paid?”
“Only five more rounds and you’re good.”