Chapter Text
Five months later
The first wedding anniversary
Chakotay entered his quarters to find the lights low and his wife flung back on the sofa, boots kicked to the floor, and a glass of red wine in her hand. One glance at the half finished bottle on the table and he knew it wasn't her first drink.
He opened his mouth to ask what was going, but she beat him to it.
"I'm not pregnant."
"Ah," he immediately understood.
It had been five months since they'd asked the doctor to deactivate their contraceptive inhibitors, and whilst they had started off with hope and enthusiasm, each month where it didn't happen became increasingly disappointing. Especially for a woman who wasn't used to waiting for anything.
"We can try again next month," he offered up.
She let out a huff of air, preferring to take another long swig of wine than to articulate a response.
Chakotay joined her on the couch, taking her legs and resting them across his lap.
"Do you think we should ask the doctor to help?" she put forward the suggestion.
"We could," he softly agreed, not unopposed to the idea, "But I think our issue is probably more about lack of opportunity. It's a small window, and I seem to remember last month we were at red alert for three days, playing cat and mouse with a Cardassian freighter. You and Freeman were on an away mission the time before…"
"I get your point," she said, taking a forearm across her face as she tilted her head back into the couch cushions.
"It will happen," he assured her, with a light tap to her thigh. "Let's give it a few more months to do it on our own terms."
"Okay," she agreed, and with a heavy sigh, she raised her head back up to meet his gaze. "But during my next cycle, I'm blocking out both our diaries for however many days it takes."
Chakotay grinned at the thought of endless hours of sex together. Although times like this were frustrating, the attempts were very enjoyable.
"You know, we could get some more practice in now," he said suggestively, running a hand up from her calf to thigh.
Kathryn groaned, "I'm menstruating," she warned him.
Chakotay began to lower his face to hers. "I don't mind," he insisted, not for the first time.
One consequence of trying to conceive a baby naturally meant that Kathryn now bled regularly every month. Although it wasn't bothersome to him, he knew she was self conscious about it.
She accepted his kiss, but at the feel of a hand on his chest, he withdrew a little. "I'm really not in the mood," she told him.
"Okay," he said acceptingly, moving his hand to a safer position on her midriff and easing the intensity of his next kiss. As an idea occurred to him, he slowly withdrew. "Can I run you a bath?" he asked.
Kathryn smiled gently, "A bath sounds perfect. Thank you."
Chakotay climbed from the couch and headed for the bathroom, instructing the computer to fill the bathtub to the desired temperature. He picked out some salts, bubbles, and then lit candles all around the edge. When everything was ready, he returned for Kathryn, tugging her gently by the hand to join him.
At seeing the effort he had made with candles, she let out a satisfied sigh. From behind, he looped his arms around her waist and kissed the side of her temple.
"Are you going to join me?" she asked invitingly.
"I'd love to," he replied, lowering his lips to the sensitive spot behind her ear.
Another welcome sigh from the woman in his arms, before she turned to face him and began work on removing his jacket. He mirrored her actions, peeling away layers of uniform, until they were both completely naked before one another.
Chakotay trailed a hand from her neck, to her breast, and then down her side, coming to rest on her hip. Meanwhile his lips made a similar exploration from her shoulder to collar bone. He could happily pass an entire night doing nothing more than kiss and touch her, silently marking every inch of her soft ivory skin.
Kathryn broke away from his hold, and took a hand in hers as she led him to the bath. They slipped into the warm water together, taking up a familiar position, with his back rested against the side and her sitting between his legs, rested against his chest.
"I heard Mariner gave you a run for your money earlier today," she made light conversation, referencing an incident involving Freeman's teenage daughter. Mariner had activated an unauthorised holodeck program, containing a computer virus which had caused a security blackout.
Chakotay grinned, "I'm certainly getting lots of experience dealing with teenagers," he gently teased.
Kathryn let out a short laugh. "You're good with her; she respects you."
"I see a lot of myself in her at that age," he said softly. "Rebel without a cause."
His wife tilted her head up and feigned an incredulous look. "You? Rebellious in your youth?"
He scooped up some bubbles and placed them on her nose. "Better believe it."
Twisting around a little further, she pulled him down for a brief kiss, before sinking back into his embrace within the warm water. "I don't know how the Freemans do it; balance their careers whilst raising a daughter."
"You should have seen when they shared a command together," he said. "It was a fascinating dynamic to observe."
"Did they ever allow personal disagreements to come onto the bridge?" she asked curiously.
Chakotay thought for a moment, to the rare occasions he'd observed them in conflict with one another. "Not when it mattered," he admitted. "I once got asked to settle a dispute on vacation destinations…" he watched his wife raise an eyebrow, but didn't feel the need to explain. "But they worked as well as any good command team I've seen."
"Hmmm," she said thoughtfully in response.
"You're wondering if we could ever command a ship together?" he felt like he could read her mind.
"I'm wondering if it would be easier serving above or below you," she corrected.
Chakotay reached for a sponge on the side and dipped into the warm water. "You'll make captain long before I do," he stated as if it was a matter of fact.
"You're assuming I'd accept a promotion," she said, and then let out a sigh when he pressed the warm wet sponge to her shoulder, running it down into the water and along her arm.
"I think you'll enjoy being in charge," he speculated, moving the sponge to her other side. "Able to determine your own missions and objectives. Develop your team and negotiate first contacts."
"I do most of those things already," she pointed out.
"Freeman is very hands off with all his senior officers," he agreed. "I'm given almost free reign of security. He's a good captain; as I know you'll be one day."
The sponge in his hand moved delicately along her thigh, soothing away any aches from a long day on her feet.
"Chakotay?" she asked, and he noted the smallest hesitation in her voice.
"Yes?"
"Do you think I'll be any good as a mother?"
He smiled to himself. Of course he thought she would be an amazing mother. However he knew his answer would require some justification in order for her to believe it. "You're patient, smart and kind," he told her simply, "Those qualities serve you well in any capacity, but with children, especially so. You're also very determined; you excel at everything you put your mind to."
She sank back a little further against him. "I can't wait to make you a father," she said earnestly, as if it was the simplest thing in the world to her.
It was also both the sweetest and sexiest thing a woman had ever said to him. There was something both primal and intimate about her willingness to swell with his child. His heart overflowed with love and affection for her and for the future they were creating together.
****
Three months later.
“How's married life treating you?”
Chakotay's head whipped around sharply at the sound of a familiar but unwelcome voice.
Luthur Sloan stood on the deck of Deep Space Five's main concourse, arms folded neatly behind his back, and a shrewd look on his face.
“Good, thank you,” Chakotay took a casual look around them to see if Sloan had company. No one was paying them any attention at least. The other visitors to the station moved obliviously around them. “What are you doing here, Sloan?”
“I understand the Gage is about to head close to the neutral zone, and I need some intel on Cardassian ship movements.”
“We're on an exploratory expedition,” Chakotay brushed him off.
“A perfect cover.”
“It's not a cover,” he stated flatly.
Sloan narrowed his eyes. “There are a couple of ships which are of particular interest to Starfleet Intelligence. The Gage will be carrying out passive scans of the area, I just need you to make a few minor modifications to sensors-”
“Why me?” Chakotay quickly interrupted, wanting to get right to the point.
“You're head of tactical. You're in the best position to assist.”
“I'm not interested,” he declared at last, deciding he'd indulged Sloan for long enough. “Find someone else.”
Chakotay turned and began walking away.
“She's still not pregnant, is she?”
Chakotay stopped immediately in his tracks and turned slowly to face Sloan again.
“I beg your pardon?”
Sloan looked him dead in the eye. “You've been trying for eight months now, and it's still not happening.”
Before jumping to any conclusions, Chakotay studied the other man carefully. “What are you trying to say?”
“You know as well as I do that you and Kathryn were never meant to meet when you did.”
Chakotay glanced around to make sure that no one from his crew was within sight, before he grabbed the intelligence officer by the front of his uniform and shoved him to a quiet communication hub to one side.
“What the hell is it that you think you know, Sloan?”
“I know that this version of you was meant to die in that quantum rift. The other version of you doesn't meet Janeway for another four years in the Delta Quadrant . What's happening here isn't a timeline which should exist. And yet, here we are, talking about it.”
It was Chakotay's every fear about what happened, confirmed. “Why does that matter to you?”
Sloan held up his hands defensively. “I couldn't care less,” he answered, “But there are some individuals who are determined to ensure Janeway's course is unaffected by your premature presence in her life.”
“And who are ‘they’?”
“Interested parties,” Sloan replied cryptically.
“Have they done something to her?” he clenched his fists, ready to take on a fight with anyone who would threaten his wife.
“Not to her, no.”
Chakotay's eyes widened at the implication. Something had been done to him .
Sloan pursed his lips, and reached into his pocket and retrieved a small tricorder. “There's an implant in your left hip. This device has been pre-set to detect it. I suggest that you don't involve anyone else with its removal.”
Chakotay stared down at the modified tricorder for a long minute before he finally decided to take it.
“Work with me Chakotay, and I can help you,” Sloan gently pleaded. “I've also left instructions for the sensor modifications on there. I trust you'll do the right thing; choose the right side.”
Before he could ask any further questions, Sloan quickly stepped away, and disappeared into the dense crowd. Chakotay tried to follow after him, but whichever direction he looked, Sloan was gone.
-
It wasn't until several days later that Chakotay finally found the courage to run a scan in the location Sloan had suggested. A standard tricorder missed it, but the equipment provided from Sloan easily detected a small metal pellet just above his hip bone.
A shot of local anaesthetic and a surgical knife served their purpose well as he cut into the dermal layer and located the contraceptive inhibitor. He'd seen the doctor deactivate a similar one months ago. He couldn't be sure if this had been added after, or existed for some time before.
Either way, someone had betrayed him, and suddenly Chakotay didn't know who to trust anymore. Not the doctor, not his captain, possibly no one within Starfleet.
Chakotay found himself growing paranoid. Constantly checking over his shoulder for who might be watching him. Who might be trying to interfere with his and Kathryn's future.
He didn't dare tell Kathryn. She would overreact. Go in all guns blazing. Storm into Starfleet headquarters and demand answers. It would cause quite a stir, and potentially scare whoever was involved into taking more drastic action.
So Chakotay decided to play it carefully. He adjusted the sensors on Gage as requested and kept a careful watch. Eventually someone would reveal themselves, and when that happened, he would be ready, waiting for them.