Web of Lies

by August_Stargazer

Summary:

Recently promoted Commander Kathryn Janeway, is about to take on her wildest adventure yet: marriage. Chakotay, her husband-to-be, is excited for their next chapter, but can’t shake the worries about his home colony and interference from the Cardassians.

Notes:

Companion to Sleepless in San Francisco. You can read them in any order; this story follows on from the first.

Many thanks to Magdalene Janeway for her Beta x

Chapter 1

Prologue 

 

March 8th, 2370

5 days since the Cardassian Treaty and formation of the Demilitarised Zone

 

It was all for nothing. In the end. Every sacrifice amounted to the sum total of fuck all.

 

Chakotay sat in Quark's bar on deep space nine, nursing his drink. His eighth whiskey that afternoon; assuming it had already gone midday, of course. He wasn't taking notice of the time, or the dwindling movements of other patrons. His focus was completely on his own misery. On everything he had lost over the last few years.

 

The hairs on the back of his neck suddenly stood on end.

 

A feminine shadow crept up beside him, signalled the bar keeper and ordered her drink. If it hadn't been a familiarly complex order, her voice was a dead giveaway. Those rich husky tones which he hadn't heard in far too long.

 

He glanced to his side, his vision blurring a little at the movement. Auburn hair pulled back neatly into a tidy bun. Makeup perfect. Uniform pristine. She was every bit as wonderful as he remembered.

 

"Hello there stranger," she deadpanned, noticing his attention.

 

It had been a long while since he'd last seen his wife. And whilst she had changed in some of the best ways: sharper, more fearless, gracefully beautiful; He barely recognised himself anymore.

 

They had become estranged. He didn't like to think about why. It was his own fault.

 

He took his time before replying. His sluggish mind struggling to comprehend her presence. " Kathryn, " he exhaled her name on his lips; savoured it for the sweet salvation he knew it was. "What are you doing here?"

 

There was a heavy pause, laden with the depth of every emotion which ran between them. "I came to bring you home, Chakotay."

Chapter 1

 

Five years earlier; July 7th 2365

 

The Engagement  

 

"Marry me," he breathed against her neck, their bodies sliding exuberantly against one another, seeking another climax for all those they had sacrificed over their last four months apart.

 

Kathryn wrapped her arms and legs even tighter around his body. "Only if you promise to never stop fucking me."

 

"I promise," he gritted back, already fighting the urge to spill his load.

 

A moan escaped her lips; he could tell she was teetering on the edge.

 

"Oh God, yes," she sighed between staggered breaths, becoming consumed in rippling waves of pleasure. "I'll marry you Chakotay."

 

He grinned in response but she hardly seemed to notice. A final wave crashed down around her, as she came in a colourful burst. Her walls tightened and shuddered around his shaft, taking him with her.

 

Once he was completely spent, he collapsed beside her on the mattress, taking a moment to catch his breath. Kathryn rolled onto her side, and snuggled up into the crook of his arm, one hand moving to splay across his stomach.

 

"I've missed fucking you," she confessed.

 

He chuckled lightly. "I missed you too."

 

It had been a long four months, and although not the longest time they had spent apart, these in particular had dragged. Chakotay was quickly coming to the conclusion that they would eventually need to align their schedules and request a joint assignment. He wasn't sure he could bear to be apart from her again.

 

The only issue would be finding a ship with enough room for them both. 

 

They had both moved up the ranks in the two years since they’d met. Chakotay was now a lieutenant commander; second officer aboard the Gage, a galaxy class vessel. Kathryn however, had been promoted to full commander towards the end of her last assignment aboard the Billings. It wouldn't be long before she was given a ship of her own.

 

Chakotay wasn't sure what that would mean for them. Although she would now technically outrank him aboard a larger vessel, they could each report directly to the captain to avoid being in the same chain of command. If Kathryn took on a captaincy in the future however, there would be no avoiding the conflict. 

 

An uncertain shadow was cast on the path ahead of them.

 

"When do you think we should get married?" She asked once they'd recovered themselves.

 

He was so lost in thought that it took a moment to remember his proposal. He tightened his grip on her forearm, and smiled up at the ceiling. "How's your diary fixed for tomorrow?"

 

Kathryn twisted a little in his arms, looking up at him with a dramatically forlorn expression. "I actually have plans for tomorrow. Rain check?"

 

"Plans?" He growled with feigned irritation, raising his head up a little. "Cancel them."

 

"I can't," she looked falsely apologetic, "I have a wedding to attend."

 

He intentionally narrowed his eyes. "Whose wedding?"

 

"Ours," she smiled, instantly giving up the game. This wasn't his first proposal, and the wedding had been long enough in the diary. 

 

Nine months earlier they'd taken a twilight hike in the Andes, to watch the sunrise from the mountains. They'd been edging around marriage for a while by that point, so it wasn't much of a surprise when Chakotay had gone down on one knee, and presented her with the ring he'd been carrying in his pocket for the entire vacation. 

 

It had been an easy decision to agree to marry Chakotay. Although their relationship had been a hard fight following the tragedy of losing Justin, once she'd allowed for love again, it had flowed freely and without conscious effort.

 

Remembering the sweet declarations he'd made, and all those he had made since in anticipation of their marriage, she looped an arm around his shoulder and pulled herself up for a deep kiss.

 

When their lips finally parted, they remained close, his nose gently rubbing against hers. "I love you so much Kathryn. I can't wait to be your husband tomorrow."

 

"I can't wait to be your wife, either."

****

 

Later that day they arrived at the Janeway family home in Bloomington, Indiana to a flurry of activity. The transport dropped them off at the end of the gravel driveway just as one hover truck arrived to unload and another prepared to leave. The computers aboard all three vessels synchronised to avoid a near collision before continuing on their way.

 

As they stepped out of the vehicle and approached the house, Mollie appeared in the doorway barking and quickly ran towards Kathryn. The dog gained such speed that she almost knocked the slender woman over.

 

"Hey girl," the young commander greeted, dropping to a squat to embrace the animal, "I missed you so much."

 

Whilst Kathryn's face was buried in the fur of her dog, Phoebe appeared at the entranceway, her arms folded. "I hope you're going to greet your sister with the same enthusiasm."

 

Kathryn glanced up, "You'll need to wait your turn," she grinned.

 

Carefully placing their bags down on the porch, Chakotay offered an open arm. "Would a hug from a soon to be brother-in-law compensate?"

 

Phoebe's posture relaxed, "It would more than compensate," she agreed, easily stepping into his arms and embracing him. "It's good to see you again, Chakotay," she said as they pulled apart.

 

Chakotay and Phoebe had become steady friends since Kathryn had first brought him home. Allied in their mission to care for Kathryn, joined by a shared quirky humour.

 

"What sort of time do you call this?" A stern voice from the doorway interrupted the moment.

 

Kathryn stood up and straightened her posture, she could tell from her mother's tone that she wasn't teasing. "It's barely midday…" she began with her excuses, shooting Chakotay an annoyed look as they would have been earlier if it hadn't been for their morning distractions.

 

"You were supposed to be back three days ago Kathryn." Gretchen said pointedly.

 

"The Billings was waylaid due to a plasma storm, it's hardly my fault."

 

"I'm sure you had more influence than you're letting on," she eyed her daughter carefully, "Thankfully Chakotay has been here to help with the preparations."

 

Kathryn risked a sideways look in her fiance's direction to see him tugging at his ear, as he tried to keep a low profile. "Well, I'm here now Mom, so put me to work."

 

Gretchen scowled for only a moment longer, before deciding to let it go. "Let's get you settled in first." She said, then, shrugging herself free of her poor mood, reached out to take her eldest daughter in her arms. "Welcome home Kathryn."

 

The four of them stepped into the house. Gretchen instructed Phoebe to get the coffee on, and then turned to appraise the young couple. "I've made up the snug for you, Chakotay," she gestured down the hall, then turning to her daughter, "And you're in your usual room."

 

"The snug?" Kathryn looked momentarily perplexed, "I think we're a little past separate rooms."

 

"Maybe so, but it's tradition. The bride shouldn't see the groom the night before the wedding."

 

Rolling her eyes, Kathryn grabbed one of the bags and made for the stairs. "Superstition rather than tradition," she dismissed the idea, "Come on, Chakotay."

 

When he didn't immediately follow, she turned back with a questioning look.

 

"Actually, separate rooms was my idea," he said quietly.

 

Gretchen took her cue and quickly made herself scarce.

 

Confused, Kathryn lowered the bag back to the floor. "What's going on?"

 

"Tomorrow's a big day, especially for you," he was careful with his words, reluctant to dampen the mood, but needing to explain himself. "You were preparing to do this once before me. Emotions are going to be running high; some space to reflect might be good for you."

 

Her posture softened in an instant. "I don't need space to know that I want to marry you."

 

"I know," he assured her, "But you might want it to make peace with that part of your life, before you begin this next chapter with me."

 

She wasn't convinced, but Chakotay had a look about him which she knew would be difficult to budge. "Are there rules against midnight visitors?"

 

He smiled indulgently, "If you need me during the night, I'll be nearby," he simply promised.

 

Weighing up the proposal, she grudgingly agreed, offering him a peck on the lips as they parted ways to unpack.

-

 

After a stop in the kitchen for coffee, Kathryn was sent to the barn to begin setting out the wedding favours. If it had been her initial choice, a small Starfleet ceremony would have been sufficient, however her mother wanted to throw a big celebration.

 

The following day nearly two hundred people would be gathered at the old farm to celebrate her marriage to Chakotay. She wasn't entirely sure how she knew that many people, but between former shipmates, friends of her parents and extended family, the guest list had grown rather extensively.

 

Despite her early protestations, she was now eagerly anticipating the day, which was made much less stressful because Gretchen had been willing to organise so much of the wedding. Kathryn's only worry was how little of Chakotay's family would be in attendance. Other than some close friends, cousins and his sister, the four-day trip was too much to ask the elders from his homeworld to travel.

 

Instead, they had made plans to visit Trebus after their honeymoon on Risa. 

 

Chakotay's parents had been keen to throw a second ceremony on their homeworld, but their son had politely declined, insisting that it wasn't necessary. Kathryn had felt bad turning them down, but ultimately it was her fiancé's decision, so she adhered to his preference.

 

The sound of footsteps and clinking glasses drew Kathryn's attention behind her, to the double barn doors. A tall lanky man entered, carrying two cardboard boxes which towered above his head, disguising his identity. 

 

Recognising the large nimble fingers gripping the box, and the familiar gait of a man on a mission, she smiled to herself as she went to greet her visitor.

 

"Mark, this is a wonderful surprise," she noted, stepping towards him.

 

Her old friend placed the box on a table at the side, and turned to greet her. They exchanged an easy hug. "I wasn't expecting to see you until tomorrow," she said as they pulled apart.

 

Mark gestured towards the containers, "My mother asked me to drop off the glasses we used for my brother's wedding last summer." He took a breath and appraised the woman before him. "You're looking well Kathryn, it's lovely to see you."

 

"And you," she patted him lightly on the shoulder, and then turned to examine the contents of the box.

 

"How are you feeling about the wedding tomorrow?" he asked openly. 

 

Coming from anyone else she would have assumed they were referring to wedding jitters. Knowing Mark, his question ran much deeper.

 

"I'm okay," she promised, and when he didn't immediately accept and move on from her answer, she found herself reflecting and digging a little deeper. "It's going to be difficult walking down the aisle without my father, and to a man who wouldn't be part of my life if it hadn't been for the death of another…" she grew quiet, "Somehow though, Chakotay makes everything whole again."

 

Mark reached out, grasping her hand gently within both of his, giving her fingers a squeeze. "I'm really happy that you found someone to love again."

 

She smiled appreciatively, and they shared a tender look. Years of friendship and affection ran between them, but there had also been one night, several years ago, before she'd met Chakotay. A date which had ended with her in Mark's bed. It had been too soon after losing Justin, and maybe Mark was never going to be the right man. Since that night though, there had been a light tension to their relationship which hadn't faded.

 

At the sound of scuffing boots, they both turned in the direction of the open doorway to see Chakotay enter, their hands quickly falling away from one another. She noted her fiance's surprise and then slight unease at seeing Mark, which he masked with a friendly smile before crossing over to greet her friend.

 

The two exchanged pleasantries, talking politely for a short time before Mark made his excuse to leave.

 

Once he'd gone, Chakotay joined Kathryn with laying out the place settings, working in silent tandem for a short while.

 

"Are you bothered that Mark will be at the wedding tomorrow?" she asked.

 

He looked over across a table from her, "No. I would have said so already if I did. Why do you ask?"

 

Kathryn fiddled with a cloth napkin. "You looked uneasy a moment ago, when you first saw him."

 

Quite unexpectedly, Chakotay grinned to himself and avoided eye contact for a moment. When his eyes eventually flickered back to hers, he looked embarrassed. "I was remembering our misunderstanding two years ago when I first met him in the park…" he explained.

 

"Oh," she said simply, remembering how Justin had been a secret she'd withheld in their early relationship, leading Chakotay to believe for a short time that she'd been engaged to Mark. She hadn't thought about that in a while.

 

"It seems silly now," he confessed. "I don't think I've ever felt more jealous or hurt; and it wasn't even real."

 

Kathryn stepped over towards him, looping an arm around his neck as he placed his hand on either side of her waist. "It's not silly," she refused to dismiss his feelings, "I have to admit I get a little jealous every time I see some young ensign checking out your butt."

 

"Just a little jealous?" he teased.

 

Tapping him playfully on the chest she swooped in to press a kiss to lips. "One day, I'm going to be insatiably, uncontrollably jealous, and I'll expect the same gracious forgiveness as I afforded you," she breathed against his mouth.

 

The playful tease was transforming into something else. Something more intense. Chakotay pressed his forehead to hers to steady them both. "Then you'll know how I feel every moment we're apart," he replied, their bodies moving in a gentle sway. "I even get envious of your nightdress when I'm away from you."

 

She let out a laugh, which stopped short as he continued.

 

"The way it grazes your ass, and brushes your breasts as you move. How it must cling to you when you move your fingers between your legs to pleasure yourself."

 

A blush filled her cheeks with colour at the thought. He lowered his head to her neck, grazing his teeth across her tender flesh.

 

"I hate the way the water in the bathtub gets to touch every inch of your skin," he continued his gentle seduction.

 

She could feel his erection growing against her thigh.

 

"I want to be the cloth of your panties rubbing against your clit," he was intentionally moving himself against her now, a hand sliding up her side to cup and caress her breast.

 

A soft moan escaped her lips, but was quickly stifled by his kiss. It was clear this wasn't the first time he'd had these thoughts, but the first time he'd given voice to them. They were both incredibly aroused, and she could feel the wetness pooling in her panties as she wrapped a leg around the back of his, and began work to find some friction.

 

Their lips found one another for a deep and consuming kiss. The heat between them escalating uncontrollably.

 

"I think we need to start requesting joint assignments," she murmured.

 

Suddenly she felt herself being lifted, and carried across the barn. Chakotay's arms, strong and solid around her. "Are you sure you'll still want me if you have me every night? You might get bored; we might become complacent."

 

"I'll have you every night and every morning after, and never tire of you," she promised.

 

He placed her gently on a sturdy table at the side of the barn, out of sight from the entranceway. He kissed her again, this time his tongue sweeping sensually into her mouth, and mingling with her own.

 

"I would fuck you so thoroughly you wouldn't be able to walk straight on the bridge the next day," he forwarned her.

 

"Shut up and fuck me now," she demanded, reaching for his belt buckle.

 

A loud crash and bang from the entrance startled them both, and Chakotay instantly drew away. Although they were out of immediate sight of the doorway, it wouldn't take much for them to be discovered in a compromising position. Chakotay took a deliberate step back to investigate the intrusion.

 

It was a service droid. Entering the barn with a stack of chairs. Its electronic motor hummed as it unloaded the chairs and began positioning them by the tables.

 

Recovering from her shock, Kathryn turned her attention back to her husband-to-be, only to find him fighting back laughter. It was infectious, and she joined him with a relieved chuckle.

 

The presence of the droid was a reminder that this wasn't the place to be fooling around. Anyone could walk in. "That could have been much worse," she noted as they both sobered. "Perhaps we should find somewhere a little more private?"

 

Chakotay smiled, but made no move to take up her offer. "Maybe we should wait until after the wedding," he countered, quite unexpectedly.

 

She shot him a confused look. Only moments ago he'd been the one seducing her, preparing to take her on the side table. His breathing was still heavy, and his arousal clear; she couldn't understand his sudden hesitation.

 

"We didn't wait much last night, or this morning for that matter," she needlessly reminded him.

 

He grinned at the memories. "I thought my efforts this morning might sate you for a while at least."

 

"I don't think it's worked," she grinned sheepishly, deliberately running her tongue slowly across her lower lip.

 

"Spirits, you drive me so crazy, Kathryn," he breathed out, running a hand through his hair. Clearly torn between his immediate desire and a thought he was struggling to articulate; she waited patiently for him to explain. "I want you badly, always, everywhere… but I also want tomorrow to be special for us. If we wait, allow things to build up, tomorrow will be explosive and unforgettable."

 

Catching on, she smiled indulgently at his suggestion to abstain for a short time, until after the wedding. It sounded like an interesting challenge. "I'm game if you are," she stood from the table and closed the short distance between them, her hips swaying deliberately at the movement as she came in close, resting both palms against his chest. "Although I can't promise not to tempt you."

 

He let out a shuddery breath, "Somehow I get the sense you're going to make these next twenty four hours feel like the last months flew by."

 

Kathryn grinned suggestively.

 

He let out an exasperated huff, disappointed at his own weakness. "Dammit Kathryn," he rasped, much to her delight. Taking an intentional step away from her he turned towards the door. "I'm going to take a walk," he told her, "I don't think I can be alone with you until after the ceremony tomorrow."

 

Kathryn smiled to herself, delighted that even after two years together, they still had that effect on one another.

-

 

Later that evening, Kathryn found herself on the back porch, gazing up at the stars with a mug of coffee wrapped tightly in her hands.

 

Hearing footsteps on the decking, she looked around to see her mother had interrupted her solitude.

 

"Phoebe's gone to bed," Gretchen announced, "Chakotay looks shattered, but I think he's waiting up to say goodnight."

 

Kathryn barely repressed a smile at the thought of how little sleep they'd had the night before. Memories of his head between her legs and expert tongue flicking against her folds were still fresh in her mind.

 

"I'll come in, in a little while," she assured, barely shifting her position.

 

Gretchen came alongside, holding onto the same railing.

 

Neither said anything for a little while, although they were both thinking the same thing.

 

"You were always your father's daughter," Gretchen said at last. "From the moment you were born, you were his. His charisma and intellect. Ambition and determination. Every good part of him echoed through you, and he loved you all the more for it."

 

Kathryn swallowed hard at the tough cards she'd been dealt that day more than three years ago, but listened patiently for her mother to continue.

 

"I know you'll be thinking of him tomorrow, because he won't be there," Gretchen guessed correctly. "But I want to know that in many ways he'll be there, within you. Everything you inherited from him, every moment you shared together, all the lessons you taught one another. He lives on through you."

 

When Kathryn finally dared a look in her mother's direction, she saw tears in the older woman's eyes. The same tears she felt rolling down her own cheeks.

 

Without a moment's hesitation, she reached out and enveloped her mother in a hug. "Oh Mom," she said simply, through a sob. 

 

They held tightly onto each other. Exchanging love and imparting strength. 

 

When they eventually slipped back into the house, Chakotay was waiting for them. He got up from the armchair as they came by the lounge. Gretchen bid them both a quick goodnight, before disappearing upstairs.

 

"I guess I'll see you in the morning," Kathryn said, with a glance towards the staircase.

 

Chakotay smiled softly. “You will,” he promised.

 

Sensing that he wanted to say something else, she hung back and waited. He looked inexplicably hesitant.

 

“I know you’re disappointed that my parents won’t be there tomorrow,” he said simply.

 

“I understand, Chakotay. It’s too far to travel…”

 

“Perhaps.” He pursed his lips, not wanting to dwell on the reasoning right now. The truth was that there were problems on the border colonies and his father was worried about leaving the community for so long. Whilst his mother was keen to attend, she was reluctant to leave his father for the trip. 

 

“My mother is upset that she won’t be here though, so she sent my sister with a gift…” Chakotay reached into his pocket and revealed a small silver brooch in his palm. A circular piece with a turquoise gem at its centre and lines etched outwards. It looked like a pattern of the sun. “Sekaya gave this to me yesterday, to pass on to you. It’s a piece of jewellery my mother inherited from her grandmother, who likely was given it by her own. She wants you to have it; and if you’d like to wear it tomorrow, for it to be your something old.”

 

Overwhelmed at the thoughtfulness and meaning behind the gesture, Kathryn reached out and carefully took the brooch from his palm, tracing the pattern delicately with her fingers. Her eyes flickered up and met his, and at her grateful smile, he let out a breath he’d clearly been holding in anticipation of her reaction.

 

“It would be an honour to wear this,” she declared.

 

“This is my mother’s way of welcoming you into our family; to say that you’ll always have a home with them.” He told her, so that she would have no doubts when they said their vows the following day. “My parents may have struggled to accept the way of life I’ve chosen, but they wholeheartedly support my choice of a wife. You will be a daughter to them.”

 

Kathryn reached out and placed a hand tenderly on his chest. “They haven’t even met me yet,” she reminded him, quirking up an eyebrow.

 

“They’ve spoken to you over sub-space more than enough to make a sound judgement,” he needlessly assured her. “I guarantee they’re only going to fall more in love with you when they get a chance to meet you face-to-face.”

 

She swallowed hard, absorbing his every word. “Thank you,” she barely whispered.

 

“Thank you for agreeing to marry me,” he smiled, remembering his more formal proposal nine months earlier in the Andes. “Sharing our families is only the start tomorrow. I’m looking forward to sharing my life with you, every day after.”

 

Kathryn took a step towards him, tears glistening in her eyes. “Do I tell you enough, how much I love and adore you?”

 

The corners of his eyes crinkled with a smile, “You do,” he assured her, “For reference though, I can never tire of hearing it.”

 

She kissed him. Sweetly and tenderly. With no other motive than to express every feeling which was currently rising to the surface.

 

Eventually, like all good moments, it had to come to an end. As she slowly drew away from him with a lingering hand on his chest.

 

“I’ll see you in the morning,” she promised.

 

“Don’t be late,” he quipped.

Chapter 2

Notes:

Usually I like to have more of a story written before I start posting, but when I realised the date I'd picked for the wedding was close, I thought I'd be clever and post on the same day 342 years earlier... 😃 Updates might take a little longer than usual, unless I get an insomniac writing spree 😆

July 8th 2365

 

The Wedding

 

"Our father says that you've declined a traditional wedding ceremony when you bring Kathryn home to visit," Sekaya commented as she and her brother took a leisurely morning stroll from the transport station, and through the fields surrounding the Janeway family home in Indiana.

 

Chakotay tucked his hands into his pockets. "Our ceremonies aren't that different from one another," he countered neutrally, "Besides, I only plan to do this once. If father wanted to be here, he would have made the effort."

 

Sekaya clicked her tongue. "I don't think the choice was that simple."

 

He shot his sister a sideways look, and raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"

 

She reached out and placed a hand on his forearm, "Life on Trebus has become complicated recently. The Cardassians want to mine for resources, but from land already occupied. The council is trying to find a compromise, and Father has become more involved than a retired council member should be. He's worried that if he leaves, decisions could be made in his absence which would be harmful to our way of life."

 

Chakotay looked onwards across the acres of wheat billowing in the wind. Kathryn had grown up in a rural setting not too dissimilar from his own. However whilst she had been encouraged and given every opportunity to reach for the stars, he had been forced to fight for every step away from the gravitational pull of his homeworld. It was something he still resented, even after all these years.

 

Although his parents still didn't embrace his choices, they'd learnt to tolerate them. He'd visited Trebus a handful of times over the two decades since his departure, each time failing to bring true reconciliation between him and Kolopak, but for the sake of his mother, they'd found an uneasy truce.

 

Truth be told, he had no burning desire to take his new wife there for part of their honeymoon. The visit had been Kathryn's idea. When she'd found out his parents wouldn't be in attendance, she'd sought to rectify an issue which didn't exist.

 

"There is no deal to make with the Cardassians," Chakotay said carefully. "They need to ask the Federation to intervene. Starfleet can send more regular patrols, or provide defensive capabilities."

 

Sekaya rolled her eyes. "Our people are too proud to ask for help, and even if they did, I believe the Federation is equally as keen to avoid conflict. At least through a mining agreement, there might be some benefit to negotiate for our community."

 

He wasn't convinced, but it was no longer his place to comment. He had lived away from the community for more than half his life now, to swoop in now with an unwelcome opinion would only further raise their backs up.

 

"Today isn't a day to be worrying about all this," Sekaya said, as she slipped an arm around his and rested a head on his shoulder. "You're about to start a new future with a woman you love. Create your own community. We should be focusing on that."

 

He sighed with agreement, grateful for the change in topic. "You're right."

 

"Nervous?"

 

"No."

 

"Good," she sounded glad. "Kathryn is quite wonderful. I think you'll be very happy together."

 

He patted her hand gratefully.

 

"Do you think you'll have children? Start a family of your own?"

 

Smiling to himself, he nodded. "Yes. Although, we're not in any rush. Our careers are both very busy at the moment. Children need a slower pace; require time to hunker down. Kathryn needs to be ready before we make that additional commitment."

 

Sekaya cast him a sideways glance. "Do you think she'll ever be ready for that?"

 

A nagging doubt twisted a little in his chest. "We both want children," he insisted, "And when Kathryn sets her mind to something, it usually happens."

 

Sekaya nodded acceptingly. "Sounds like you've got it all figured out," she commented neutrally.

 

And in that moment, Chakotay really thought they had.

 

"How about you?" Chakotay asked as they began to approach the farm, missing the subtle alarm in his sister's expression. "What are you planning to do for the rest of your visit to Earth?"

 

Sekaya schooled her features as she gave a neutral reply, "I'll stay with our cousins for a while… and Kathryn's sister has promised to show me around some of her favourite places."

 

Chakotay shot his sister a sideways glance. "Be careful with that one. Phoebe's possibly more insatiable than Kathryn."

 

Sekaya smirked, and he knew better than to ask or make further comment on the matter.

 

"How long will you stay?" he redirected the conversation.

 

When she didn't respond right away, his curiosity was piqued.

 

"You are going back?" he pressed, incredulous that there would be two of them from the same family to break with tradition and leave their homeworld.

 

"Eventually," she waved off his question as if it was inconsequential. 

 

He felt like he needed to ask her more about it, but time wasn't on their side that day. Guests would soon be arriving, and the celebrant would want to talk to he and Kathryn individually before the ceremony began. He made a mental note to check-in with his sister once things had calmed down a little. But they never found the time.

-

 

Kathryn was getting ready in her mother's bedroom when Phoebe stepped back from the window, having watched Chakotay walk up the driveway with his sister.

 

"He's not run off just yet," she teased.

 

Rolling her eyes, Kathryn kept still as Gretchen lifted her hair up and arranged it with pins. "I should hope not; this was his idea."

 

Phoebe came back around, watching their mother finish up the elegant french twist arrangement. She waited until Gretchen had stepped into the bathroom before dropping her voice. "As your sister, I feel I'm duty bound to remind you that I can aid your escape at any point if you change your mind."

 

Kathryn let out a soft chuckle at Phoebe's twisted sense of humour. "I'm not going to change my mind," she reassured softly.

 

Phoebe came by alongside her, taking a seat on the bed. "How can you be so certain of another person? To know that they're the one you want to spend the rest of your life with?"

 

The question was asked with ease, but it was a difficult answer to unpick. "I don't know," Kathryn admitted, "It's not something I understood right away, and I resisted it for a long time. With hindsight though, there was an inevitably to it which I don't think I could ever have denied."

 

The younger woman rested her chin on a fist. "Chakotay is annoyingly perfect," she tutted. "I bet he's even fantastic in bed."

 

"You say that as if it's a bad thing."

 

"Oh it's terrible," Phoebe said with a deliberate air of extravagance, "It means that no one else can possibly compare."

 

Kathryn grew quiet, because there had once been another she had tried not to compare him to. Justin had been wonderful for all different reasons. They had fallen in love despite their differences and friction-filled relationship.

 

Being with Chakotay was so easy by comparison. Loving him was effortless. Their differences complimented one another, and their similarities blended. Wondering what would have happened if Justin had never died in that accident, and she'd still met Chakotay, was a guilty thought she refused to indulge.

 

Easing herself from any sombre mood, Kathryn reached out for Phoebe's hand. "One day you're going to meet Mrs. Perfect, and I'm going to set you up for jitters on your wedding day."

 

Phoebe grinned, "I'd like to see you try."

 

Although the joke helped to break up the tension, Kathryn still felt a shadow cast above her for the remainder of the morning. Second guessing once again if it was too soon, if her heart was strong enough to support the depth and intensity of love which Chakotay so openly gave.

 

Even as she took the final steps and emerged from the house to make the short walk to the back lawn where guests were gathered for the ceremony, her brave front faltered a little. It was her mother who was walking her down the aisle, a tragic reminder that her father would never meet her husband. Would never know Chakotay's love for his daughter.

 

Kathryn took a deep breath as the crowd turned at her approach, all eyes on her as she made her first appearance as a bride. It was the most intense moment of her life, and for a moment she felt completely overwhelmed. Then she looked up and locked gazes with Chakotay, and every doubt, every insecurity, melted away.

-

 

She was stunning. 

 

Chakotay had to remind himself to breathe as Kathryn made her entrance. An elegant ivory gown flowed from her shoulders to her feet, hugging cleavage and hips in its travels. Her hair was up, exposing her neck and perfectly framing her chin. Blue eyes dancing across the many gathered faces.

 

Kathryn looked anxious. She never looked anxious, and it worried him for the fraction of a second it took for her eyes to reach his. And then suddenly, her entire posture relaxed, as she met his reassuring smile with a dazzling one of her own.

 

Chakotay couldn't say later if he'd said his vows perfectly, or fumbled over the rings. He could only remember the weight of her hand in his, and the look of love and devotion shared between them.

 

They were married. The resolution to their previous chapter, and beginning of a whole new adventure.

 

The rest of the day of their wedding celebrations flew by. When Chakotay reflected on it later, it was a flurry of wonderful memories which went too fast to pin down. It would take a while for them to settle, for the weight of the vows they made to absorb.

 

They danced until it was late, outlasting all of the older guests, before settling by the fireside with their sisters and some of their closest friends.

 

Kathryn had her head settled against his shoulder, and was yawning by the time he suggested they retire to bed.

 

Ensuring that their friends all had places to sleep that night, and bidding them goodnight, they headed into the main house. Kathryn led him by the hand, up towards the bedroom, glancing over her shoulder occasionally with subtle looks.

 

She was apprehensive he realised. Hesitant about this final part of their day.

 

He waited until the door had clicked shut and they were alone in their bedroom before he addressed her concerns.

 

"Is everything okay?" he asked, coming up from behind her, and placing his hands gently on her hips.

 

"Yes, it's just been a long day, and I'm not feeling very… amorous, right now."

 

Despite their decision to wait, with the promise of an explosive build-up, it had been a long day, and sometimes expectation versus reality needed to be realigned. Kathryn was exhausted, and he could understand her body had other priorities for rest. 

 

Looping his arms around her middle he pressed his lips affectionately to her temple. "That's okay," he reassured her gently, "We don't need to have sex this evening."

 

"On our wedding night?" He could feel the incredulous eyebrow she raised.

 

Chakotay chuckled, placed another kiss to the side of her head, before dropping his arms and intentionally stepping away to give her space.

 

"I'm sure there are plenty of couples who don't have sex on their wedding night," he mused. "I've certainly been to enough weddings where the groom certainly wouldn't have been in any condition to perform."

 

Kathryn looked unconvinced.

 

"Remember Sunny and Miranda's wedding?" He prompted. "I carried Sunny back to his hotel room and put him to bed myself."

 

She grinned, remembering the story he'd told her the following morning. Miranda had been less than impressed, and it sounded like she had taken a different bed that night in protest.

 

Chakotay carefully removed his cufflinks, placing them on the side. As he began to unclip the fastenings to his dress shirt, he stepped back over to her. "We don't need to do anything tonight which you're not comfortable with, Kathryn," he said softly, "Although I do hope you'll grant me one indulgence, and allow me to take you out of your wedding dress."

 

She grinned up at him, "I don't think there's any other way I'm getting out of it," she confessed.

 

With the permission he needed, he moved back towards her. Swooping down, and pressing his lips to her exposed neckline; something he'd been thinking about doing for most of the day. Dragging his mouth across her skin, he placed a series of kisses up her neck, eventually finding the spot behind her ear which never failed to make her gasp.

 

Hands found their way to the small of her back, holding them both steady as he tasted her lips to indulge in one sweet, languid kiss. She was exhausted; he could tell. If he had to guess, she'd probably been up half the night thinking over the plans for their day with meticulous detail.

 

With one last peck on her nose, he twisted around behind her, to examine the fastenings of her wedding dress. It was a simple series of hoops and buttons, but he could instantly see her concern; the garment was so perfectly fitted, that there was no way her fingers reaching behind would have sufficient purchase or reach to undo all the buttons that traced her spine.

 

The dress was designed for a husband's assistance. He grinned to himself at the thought.

 

Chakotay carefully slipped each hoop over the anchoring bead, slowly exposing the creamy white flesh of her shoulder blades and upper spine. He ran a finger along the revealed skin, and she shivered involuntarily in response.

 

The remainder of her dress fell easily away, revealing a delightful pair of ivory undergarments, however it was the sight of a single lace garter around her right thigh which captured his full attention.

 

Kathryn was watching him carefully over her shoulder, her breath hitched as she anticipated his next move.

 

Chakotay moved slowly, fingers brushing sensually from her shoulders to her finger tips, as he lowered to his knees behind her. Placing hands on either side of her hips, he gently held her in place whilst his lips moved to her thighs. Her left first, as he massaged her flesh with his mouth, from the lace of her panties to the back of her knee.

 

Then, to her right, where he nuzzled the cheek of her ass through her panties, before travelling down with a trail of small kisses. When he reached her garter, he dropped his hands to the circle of lace, to slowly and seductively drag it down her leg. Kathryn lifted her foot for the final part of its tour, kicking it off with a tiny flick of her ankle.

 

Another time, and he might have removed her panties in a similar manner, but mindful that she was indulging him already, he intentionally stopped there and pulled back. As he came to stand, she turned to face him, one of her delicate slender hands coming to rest on his shoulder, the other reaching up to cup his cheek.

 

She didn't say anything, but he could see every emotion and thought running clearly through her eyes. This was what love was. The feeling which filled the room when there was nothing else but silence.

 

At her gentle encouragement, he removed his shirt and stepped out of his pants, to join her at the bed. Peeling back the covers, they quietly slipped inside.

 

With a seamless synchronisation which had developed over the years, Chakotay lay on his side, with an arm extended, which she snuggled into facing him, resting her head on his bicep. She fit so perfectly against him, as he held her, his fingers caressing gently against the soft skin of her back.

 

He kissed the top of her head. "Thank you for a perfect day, Kathryn."

 

Her lips pressed a kiss to his bare chest, as she tightened the hold around his middle. "Thank you for being the perfect man."

 

She sounded tired; perhaps on the verge of sleep, so he called for the lights, and the room disappeared into darkness.

-

 

Kathryn was blissfully exhausted. It had been a long, but wonderful day. A room filled with so many family and friends. Good food, wine and cheer. There wasn't much else she could have asked for from the celebration.

 

Although she was uncontrollably tired, Chakotay's gentle attention however, had begun to stir a desire deep within her. It wasn't close enough to arousal to call it that, but there was a sudden need for intimacy and closeness.

 

In the glow of the moonlight, she looked up at him, waiting until she had his attention before she made her request. "Will you make love to me?"

 

Chakotay met her gaze with a deep look. "Of course. If that's what you want?"

 

She nodded. 

 

At her confirmation, they smoothly shifted together, altering positions, so that she was on her back whilst he rested on a forearm to her side. With his free hand, he reached up to cup the side of her face, dropping down for a luxurious kiss.

 

Kathryn splayed hands against his chest, running them slowly down his torso.

 

The heat and intensity of the exchange increased, as the passion between them grew. One of Kathryn's hands finally reached his underpants, where she discovered his erection bulging behind the fabric. "Take them off," she muttered against his lips.

 

He willingly obliged, whilst she did the same, slipping panties over her hips and kicking them down into the depths of the covers. 

 

As she turned attention to the front clasp of her bra she found him watching her. Carefully. Expectantly. She smiled to herself. He was so predictable.

 

The moment her bra was off, and her breasts revealed, his mouth and hand were on them in the same instant. Taking one nipple into his mouth and sucking on the areola, whilst his fingers flicked and teased at the other.

 

She arched into his touch. Revelling in the tingling sensations he was eliciting. But she needed more. As if reading her mind, Chakotay dropped a palm from her breast, switching the other nipple into his mouth. Meanwhile, his hand continued a new course down her stomach.

 

Resting the wrist edge of his palm on her pelvic bone, he guided a single finger down between her folds. Gliding between the labia and intentionally feathering against her clit, he drew from her a sleepy arousal which she hadn't expected to find so quickly.

 

At the combined feeling of his tongue circling her nipple, and fingertips teasing her clit, she let out a small, needy moan, as a wave of heat overwhelmed her. She wanted him. Urgently.

 

Sensing her need, Chakotay withdrew from her breast and lifted himself up slightly. At the new angle, he positioned a digit at the entrance of her vagina, watching carefully as he moved it inside.

 

The wetness was now very evident as he glided effortless inside of her. When he withdrew, he easily added a second finger, and pushed the two together, back into the tight wet folds.

 

He smirked to himself, clearly pleased with the effect he had on her, even when her body and mind were otherwise too tired for this type of activity.

 

As he began to pump her, she found herself twisting against his touch. Desperate to feel the pressure of his thumb against her swollen nub which was held tantalisingly out of reach. But even that wouldn't be enough. She wanted him. All of him.

 

As if reading her thoughts he slowed the movement of his fingers and carefully withdrew from her. She would have protested, except she knew exactly what he would do next.

 

Gently he rolled her beneath him, taking the time to pause any further advance with a gentle and loving kiss. She could feel the weight of his urgent throbbing erection resting against her thigh, but his actions were controlled and measured, in no rush to complete the joining until he was completely satisfied of her readiness.

 

Kathryn smoothed her palms down his butt cheeks, angling herself for his entrance, but he intentionally held himself back. She looked up at him with a questioning look, only to find him already waiting for her attention.

 

"Do you promise you won't fall asleep on me?" he asked simply, the cheekiness evident in his dimples.

 

A throaty laugh escaped her lips. He was wicked when he wanted to be. She tapped his ass cheek admonishingly. "I'm hardly going to fall asleep with the fullness of your cock inside me."

 

He grinned unashamedly, then, with an amused shake to his head, began to slowly lower his pelvis towards her. Kathryn reached down a hand to guide the tip of his penis to where it was most desired, gasping with delight as he slowly pushed inside her.

 

"I love you," he breathed against her shoulder once he was completely embedded in her warmth. Repeating the sentiment again as he partially withdrew and then patiently re-entered.

 

Chakotay was the king of delayed gratification, and began an excruciatingly languid pace. For once, she was willing to indulge him. 

 

They moved fluidly together. Lovingly. Whispering words of devotion and affection. All the promises of a life they planned to share together. It was an end and a beginning folded in together. Now and forever existing simultaneously. Fears disregarded and only hope flowed between them.

 

When the build up began, she didn't chase it down as she normally would. Instead she embraced it, focussed on the sensation, running her hands affectionately up and down his torso and he continued to rock effortlessly against her.

 

She didn't know how close he was until he released a shuddery breath, and she realised he was actually fighting against the urge to explode into her. It was that very realisation which took her to the precipice, and with a careful change of angle in her hips, found herself coming with only a couple of firm brushes against her clit.

 

Her walls shuddered and clenched around him as she came, taking him over the edge with her. He spilled his load with several delightful spasms, filling her core with his warm and welcome seed. Even once he was completely spent, he continued to rock gently against her, riding out every wave and sensation, until she was undone beneath him.

 

Once they'd finished, he rolled them onto their sides, slipping out of her with the movement, but holding her close against him in any case. He let out a contented sigh as they enjoyed the warmth and intimacy of a post coital embrace.

 

After a while, Kathryn noticed his breathing had grown abnormally heavy, and when she looked up to face him, she discovered Chakotay was fast asleep.

Chapter 3

Notes:

I can't believe this is over 5,000 words of mostly filth. If you're here for an actual plot, skim through to the end, otherwise, enjoy the ride.

Thanks as always to Magdalene Janeway and NeverEnough37 for their Betas. They have both navigated me along the fine line between 'does this go too far, or not enough'?

(PS, according to memory alpha, Risa is several months travel from Earth, but I didn't like the answer memory alpha gave me, so let's pretend it's a couple of days travel.)

The Honeymoon 

 

The white sand beaches of Risa stretched in either direction as far as the eye could see. Clear crisp waters became darker shades of indigo as the ocean deepened, creating the most intensely colourful sunrises in the known quadrant.

 

Not that they'd seen a sunrise since their arrival two days earlier.

 

The newlyweds had spent much of their time sequestered in the beachfront hut, finding endless excuses to make love rather than explore the location of their honeymoon.

 

On the third day they finally emerged to take a guided swim in the waters surrounding the private beach. Their guide, Pavin, was a Risan native. He'd grown up with the founding generations of the pleasure resort. With muscular sculpted chest, chiselled features and painted red dreadlocks, he was about as beautiful as the planet.

 

Pavin took them snorkelling down to the perfect corals by the bay. Then a short visit to the open cave network along the western coastline, before taking them on a boat trip to a jetty side restaurant.

 

They spent the afternoon sampling local delicacies and sipping exotic fruit juices, as they lay lazily under the orange sun.

 

Both Kathryn and Chakotay were equally as exhausted when their guide finally returned them home. As they jumped off the boat and readied themselves to thank Pavin and say goodbye, he held them back with a gentle ushering motion.

 

Curious, they stepped closer, to see a small box being presented to them.

 

"The last part of our newlywed package," he said, as he handed it over.

 

Kathryn took a hand to her stomach, "I don't think we can possibly eat anything more."

 

Pavin smiled indulgently. "It's not food," he assured her. "Just something to relax with, in private."

 

The couple shared a curious look, but Chakotay took the offering, already with half an idea what it might be.

 

Their guide took an immediate step back, starting up the engine of his boat, and offering them a wink before waving goodbye and speeding off along the beach.

 

They watched him leave, before Kathryn turned to her husband with a wan smile. "What's in the box?" she quizzed, immediately trying to take a peek.

 

Chakotay held it deliberately out of reach as they began the walk back to the hut. "You can't stand surprises, can you? You're like a little kid hunting for presents the night before Christmas."

 

Rolling her eyes, she let out a dissatisfied "hmmph".

 

Not wishing to antagonise his wife any further, he relented and handed the gift over. Watching from the corner of his eye as she began to prise the lid off; always impatient to uncover a mystery.

 

By the time they'd reached the hut, the box was open, and Kathryn was examining the contents. Placing it on the side, she lifted a hypospray and a small vial of liquid to examine each carefully.

 

"Do you think this is Regalian?" she asked, with a raised eyebrow and sly grin.

 

"Probably," Chakotay rolled his eyes. It seemed that their guide had given them an illicit substance known to act as an aphrodisiac. Regalian liquid crystal was banned in most parts of the Federation, due to some rare side effects such as over stimulation. However it was permitted on Risa as long as it was given with an antitoxin; which was what the hypospray was for.

 

"We should try it," Kathryn quickly insisted.

 

He couldn't help but grin. "I don't think we need an aphrodisiac," he said, glancing suggestively at the messy sheets of their bed, which had barely been left for anything but necessities in the last forty-eight hours.

 

"I'm curious to try it anyway; with you," there was a suggestive sway to her hips as she crossed over to him, lifting the vial enticingly between them.

 

Chakotay couldn't deny he wasn't a little tempted. However he'd heard stories of the drug being misused; of individuals taking advantage of unsuspecting partners, or going too far. There were also extreme cases where couples had become ill from the rare side effects. For these reasons he found himself hesitating.

 

Kathryn, by contrast, didn't appear to have any of the same hesitations. She seemed excited to discover the effects of the drug together, within the comfort and safety of their established relationship.

 

"Kathryn…" he said, intending to remind her of the various reasons the drug was widely banned.

 

"Hmmm?" she was already twisting the top of the vial, drawing out a loaded dropper and lifting it to her open mouth. Before Chakotay could think through or articulate his concerns she had released a drop of the amber liquid onto her tongue.

 

Chakotay watched on carefully as she held the droplet within the well of her tongue and offered him a dose. It could only be activated with a partner, following an exchange between both individuals.

 

Although he'd never tried Regalian before, it promised an electrifying and pleasurable experience. Despite his reservations, he was intrigued to share it with her. The invitation was too tempting to decline. Chakotay opened wide and accepted the drug.

 

With the liquid crystal placed carefully on his tongue, Kathryn closed the gap between them, touching her tongue to his, swapping doses as they tangled around one another. The exchange quickly transformed into a heated kiss, but after a few minutes, Kathryn pulled back with a disgruntled look.

 

"Do you feel any different?" she asked.

 

Chakotay grinned; she was always so impatient. "It might take a while," he suggested.

 

Blowing out a disappointed puff of air, she stepped away from him. "I'm going to take a shower to wash off the salt water," she declared, heading for the bathroom. Then, looking over her shoulder added, "Join me?"

 

Even without the full boost of the Regalian she was insatiable. "In a little while," he said, encouraging her into the bathroom, "I'll just tidy up here first."

 

Kathryn gave him one last sultry look, before disappearing from the main suite.

 

Chakotay busied himself with remaking the bed, and clearing away discarded items of clothing. The activity gave him a few moments to reflect on the last few days; of their wedding ceremony and the shuttle ride to Risa. 

 

The dynamic to their relationship felt no different so far, but he knew officiating their vows to one another would have longer term impacts. Not only did it mean that Starfleet would take joint assignment requests more seriously, but it was also changing the trajectory of their plans for the future. How they could orchestrate more time together, the search for a permanent place of residence on Earth, and gentle discussions about when to start a family.

 

There was no rush, but there was certainty now. The inevitably of the milestones ahead was comforting.

 

Chakotay had been so lost in thought, he'd forgotten his wife's expectant invitation until she re-emerged from the bathroom with towels wrapped around her hair and torso.

 

Their room was looking respectable again, and Kathryn was towelling off in front of the mirror as he passed by and patted her butt.

 

"You missed your chance," she slipped out of his hold.

 

Glancing over his shoulder he took a moment to appreciate the perfect form of her body in the reflection. Her creamy soft flesh and curve of her hips. The perky breasts and long flowing auburn hair. It was difficult to believe she was completely his. Forever.

 

He just grinned. "I've made you some tea on your bedside," he told her, accepting his fate to shower alone.

 

Kathryn shot him a look as if to question where her coffee was, but he shrugged in response; tea was a better option after a tiring day out in the ocean.

 

Chakotay showered with speed and efficiency, however when he returned to the bedroom he found Kathryn fast asleep on the bed; an arm raised up covering her face. Despite silent promises to keep him up all night with endless hours of sex, even Kathryn Janeway had human limits. She had finally succumbed to exhaustion.

 

Chakotay simply smiled to himself, as he climbed onto the bed beside her. Watching her between heavy eyelids as he too gave in to the need for sleep.

-

 

Chakotay couldn't say what it was that finally woke him. 

 

The breeze drifting through the curtains which transformed from a welcome cooling, to a warm tingly sensation.

 

A soft and sensual moan from the woman beside him.

 

The feel of his own hand creeping down towards his exposed manhood.

 

Whatever the final trigger, the build-up in his sleep had been so subtle that he hadn't noticed, until he came to with the most consuming arousal he'd ever experienced.

 

No. It was more than arousal. Beyond want or desire. It was a basic need and primal obsession.

 

Sex .

 

He needed it . Needed her . There was no other thought or feeling other than lust and satisfaction.

 

His heart hammered in his chest, heat was all around him as his fingers continued to brush against his bulging erection. He was so swollen and large that it was almost painful to touch. And yet he needed to touch it. Needed the pressure; the relief.

 

Another breathless sigh from the woman beside him, and his eyes flew open with startling realisation of what they were each doing. It took considerable mental strength to wrench his hand away from himself. A stronger need to seek completion than he'd ever known before. It was almost impossible to resist.

 

Kathryn was lying on the bed beside him. Naked and completely exposed. Eyes closed, head thrown back, chest arched upwards, with one hand moulded around her own breast, another between her legs.

 

For a moment there was nothing he could do except watch. Watch her pleasure herself. She was either unaware or unconcerned with his presence. The sight was intoxicating.

 

He suspected she was still asleep. He wasn't even sure if he had fully awoken. His mind felt foggy and uncontrolled. His thoughts were incoherent and muddled. Except one thought. One motive: Sex.

 

Oh spirits, he wanted her so badly. Needed to be inside of her, or have her inside of him. It was a draw like he'd never known before.

 

Thoughts of climbing between her thighs and pushing himself into her warm, welcoming depths, intruded and overwhelmed his mind.

 

Almost as if sensing his distraction, Kathryn's eyes flew open. Their gazes met. Piercing blue locked with his brown depths. Passion. Desire. Lust. Stronger than either of them had ever known before. A want and a need pulling them together or risk pulling them apart if they didn't act soon.

 

She bit down on her bottom lip, struggling with the same fight, and unable to resist. Her fingers continued their diligent work within the folds of her labia.

 

Her eyes drifted down slowly, raking over his toned bronze chest, drinking in the sight of his perfect form. Appreciating every line and edge to him. She opened her mouth, "I need-" she breathed, 'you' died somewhere on her lips.

 

Chakotay hadn't even realised he was pumping himself again until her eyes stopped and rested at his pelvis. He glanced down briefly, ashamed at his own lack of control, before looking back to check her reaction and finding nothing but the same want and fire mirrored in her expression.

 

"Please," she just about sobbed.

 

Every coherent thought drifted out the window. All except one: she needs you .

 

In one swift movement he closed the gap between them. Forcing his hands away from himself, and placing his palms on the mattress on either side of her.

 

There were many words which usually formed on his lips at this point. Words of love, assurance and affection. None of those made it to his mouth, because this wasn't about an emotional bond, this was pure, unrestrained physical attraction. He was going to fuck this woman, hard .

 

No .

 

That last thought had him mentally reeling. He hesitated. He'd never been rough with Kathryn before; with any woman for that matter. Not like that . It was the Regalian he realised, driving a primal desire to the forefront of his mind.

 

For a moment he doubted himself; doubted their bond and the trust which flowed between them.  And then the woman beneath him reached up, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep, sensual kiss.

 

She loved him; wanted him. This was mutual. His doubts and hesitations fell away.

 

He held himself steady above her as their lips melded together. Pelvises rubbing and aching to join. Mouths sharing every breath. Skin against skin.

 

Chakotay's every nerve ending was ignited. He wouldn't last long like this.

 

With all the willpower in the world, he tore himself away from her lips. She began to let out a soft incomprehensible complaint, until Chakotay shifted on his arms and lowered down her body, and she understood where he was headed.

 

Sensing an impatience in her which mirrored his own, he bypassed his usual slow and seductive trail, and wedged himself immediately between her legs. He needed to taste her; wanted to pleasure her.

 

His hands shook with his own fight for restraint as he reached up towards her folds. He parted her labia as gently as he could, to reveal her sweet swollen bud. Without hesitation he swept his tongue across it, listening to her welcome cry of relief. He repeated the action, to the same response. Again. And again.

 

Oh fuck, he wanted her so badly.

 

As he took her towards the climax she desperately needed, he found some of his own relief against the mattress. His body writhing against the sheets, as her own writhed beneath his face.

 

Grabbing hold of her thighs, he forced her to minimise her movements, his fingers digging tightly into her flesh as she continued to buck against him. He was going to leave bruises, but he didn't care.

 

"Chakotay," her breathy voice broke out, "I need you… all of you."

 

But he couldn't; not yet. He wanted this to be good for her, before he took his own satisfaction.

 

Inserting two fingers into her wet folds was almost his undoing. The feel of her slick moisture, the walls clamping down around him, the needy moan which escaped her lips. It was almost too much. And yet, he kept steady. Ignoring his own needs to double the pace of his tongue against her clit.

 

"Oh God, I'm coming," she called out.

 

And suddenly so was he. Unintentionally and unstoppable. Her own excitement had driven him over the edge. Against the bedsheets. Ribbons of semen shooting out from his tip. Aimless in

their trajectory. 

 

They rode it out together. Fast. Furious. Determined to bring an end to this urgency.

 

However the climax brought almost no relief. 

 

Instead, it left them both even more frustrated.

 

Despite being completely spent, his shaft continued to pulse and her bud continued its search for friction. They were no better off for climaxing.

 

Forcing his head up and away from her, he sat back and tried to clear his mind, desperate to understand what was going on. Something didn't feel right. They shouldn't still be so aroused.

 

Often Chakotay resisted his own urge to orgasm for as long as possible, knowing that his enthusiasm often ebbed once he'd found release. He preferred to have Kathryn coming back to back, and delay his own satisfaction until they were both prepared to reach a conclusion.

 

With the effect on the Regalian however, Chakotay found he was ready again within seconds.

 

He lifted his head and looked up at Kathryn. She was laid back against the pillows, cheeks and chest and breasts pink and flushed. Chest moving heavily as she recovered her breath. Thighs still spread before him.

 

His prick stirred at the sight. First with intrigue and desire, then with demand and urgency. He needed more. Wanted more. Wanted her .

 

On knees and hands he crawled up the bed; barely restrained but with slow and deliberate actions. Prowling his prey. 

 

Noticing the movement, her gaze flickered up to meet his. Their eyes locked, and a silent communication passed between them: you are mine.

 

It was a possessiveness and possession like he'd never known before. A want to mark her and make her his own. To mate .

 

He was looming over her, wedged between her thighs, as another swell of lust washed over him. Indulging the feeling, he leaned down to claim her lips. Kissing her hard and with unrestrained motivation.

 

Chakotay quickly found himself grinding against her, and to much greater encouragement found her matching his desperate movements. Unable to restrain himself any longer, he pulled back and shifted slightly onto his side, resting on a single palm on the mattress as the other reached down and grabbed her thigh, lifting it up towards her chest so he could have full sight of her labia.

 

His gaze focused on the tight pink folds of flesh, still swollen from their previous orgasm. Twisting beneath him as they sought contact with his tip. It was Chakotay's undoing. With as much care as he could possibly muster, he lined himself up at her entrance and began to push inside her. 

 

Despite a plan to enter slowly and gently, an urgency in his brain took over, and his hips bucked, forcing in those last couple of inches. Kathryn let out a grunt at the sudden stretch, as she tried to accommodate him, but she didn't complain.

 

To his great delight and relief, she began to move around him, her hips undulating to create a welcome friction against his shaft. It was the most incredible feeling, and the need to take over and fuck her hard was almost unbearable.

 

Such primal thoughts were not new to him, but usually they lay at the back of his mind, acknowledged but restrained. He kept that part of him in check, under tight control. The drug was loosening those restraints, removing his final inhibitions.

 

"Are you sure?" He breathed. Although the Regalian had been Kathryn's idea, he had to be sure she knew what she was getting into. Certain that this was something she wanted to share.

 

Kathryn reached out and forcefully grabbed at his hip, encouraging him to slip further inside, all the way to the hilt. "I'm always sure with you," she replied.

 

And that was all it took. For him to give up those last thin shards of control, and give in to an animalistic need that he hadn't trusted himself to embrace before now.

-

 

Kathryn saw the switch in his eyes and delighted in it. The raw and ravenous lust and hunger. The primal urges. Everything she was feeling was mirrored in his expression.

 

Chakotay began a fierce and demanding rhythm, one which she enthusiastically kept pace with, until she could no longer keep up. He was incessant. Intentional. Spectacular.

 

Laying back into the mattress, she gladly opened her body to his as he pounded into her. Weight balanced carefully above her, hips moving with long and firm thrusts. Hard. Fast. Relentless.

 

She didn't even realise she was coming again until a white heat consumed and overwhelmed her. Throwing her head back into the pillows she delighted as her own orgasm took over, taking him with her.

 

Hot spurts of his seed filled her core, warming her belly and further lubricating their slick joining. She took everything he had. Until there was nothing more to give.

 

And yet, despite both being completely spent, Chakotay continued his movements. Slower for a while, until he eventually began to pick up speed again.

 

He was already prepared for another round.

 

Despite her own desire beginning to wane, his was as ferocious as she'd ever known it. Kathryn was curious to see where it took them. Looping an arm around his shoulders she found him for a kiss. Silently encouraging him to continue and indulge.

 

Quite unexpectedly Chakotay broke off the kiss and slipped out of her. For a moment she thought he was bringing their session to an end, until she found herself being flipped over onto her belly. The weight and warmth of his body welcome against her back.

 

She willingly obliged as he lifted her hips into position, and nudged her knees apart. His needy erection found her wet and swollen entrance yet again, barely giving her time to prepare before launching himself inside from behind.

 

There were a rare few occasions where she'd experienced him take like this. Usually he gave and accepted in return. That evening he was in complete control. Single minded and focussed on his own wants, needs and pleasure.

 

His pelvis slammed against her butt as he thrusted determinedly into her wet pussy. Harsh and selfish. Kathryn almost didn't recognise the man who possessed her husband's body. She was in equal measure thrilled and terrified. Both excited and unsettled at what he was possibly capable of in those heated moments.

 

Hot breath found her shoulder, moments before his lips found the same flesh. Sucking and biting at her. Demonstrating how completely he was possessed and obsessed by her.

 

Chakotay began to shudder when he finally came. Spilling his load into her. Releasing every last molecule of his cum. He collapsed against her. His weight heavy, and breathing laboured against her ear. Playfully, she tried to shove him off, but he wouldn't budge.

 

"Chakotay?" she questioned, managing to turn her head slightly to the side, bringing each other face to face. Noses brushing.

 

"I can't-" even words were a struggle for him when he eventually spoke. Another laboured breath as he gathered some internal strength. "I can't stop."

 

Even as he said the words, she could feel his shaft growing hard again.

 

"We don't need to stop," she insisted, thinking he might be hesitant to take any more from her. By contrast, she was determined to push this as far as it could go.

 

"I'm worried I'm going to hurt you," he gritted out, as he shifted and moved away from her.

 

He sat back and she watched on as he panted heavily. Sweat glistened on every inch of his skin, sweat dripped down his forehead.

 

Something wasn't right.

 

It was clear the drug they had taken had heightened both their sex drive and stamina. However the effect on Chakotay was becoming something else altogether. He was struggling.

 

Instinctively she reached out for him, but Chakotay flinched at the movement, purposefully looking away from her, focussing his gaze on a piece of furniture at the far end of the room.

 

"The detox…" he rasped, but was unable to form a coherent sentence.

 

She instantly knew what he meant. The hypospray on the side, already preloaded with a neutraliser for the Regalian. He was suffering from over stimulation.

 

Quickly, she slipped off the bed and crossed the room. She was absently aware of him collapsing face forward into the pillows, likely finding some welcome relief in the press of his erection, trapped between the mattress and the weight of his body. His breathing was haggard as his pelvis bucked against the soft springy surface.

 

Grabbing the hypospray she quickly returned to his side, administering a dose into the side of his neck. For safe measure, she followed up with another dose for herself. Waiting at the medicine slowly to effect.

-

 

Slowly, Chakotay's thoughts became more coherent. His awareness grew. The blinding heat began to subside, giving way to a more welcome warmth. He was no less aroused, but much more in control. He stopped grinding against the mattress.

 

"It's going to take a few hours to fully subside," Kathryn too sounded much more herself, as she ran an affectionate hand down his back. "How are you feeling?"

 

"Like a nineteen year old," he quipped, rolling over slowly to face her, finally able to look at her for the woman she was to him, and not just a body to fuck.

 

Kathryn looked flushed, but her eyes were clearer, more focussed.

 

"I think we became over intoxicated," she said.

 

He grinned. No shit.

 

"Are you okay?" He was finally able to focus enough to ask after her own wellbeing.

 

"Yes," she quickly assured him, then, with a lingering glance at his long and hard shaft, involuntarily licked her lips and added. "I'm still feeling as aroused as you look, but I'm in control of it now."

 

"I'm sure it'll subside with a cold shower," he commented.

 

Kathryn gave him a knowing look, and he could tell what she was about to suggest before she'd even opened her mouth.

 

"We could make the most of it."

 

Chakotay looked up at the ceiling and begged for restraint. "I'm still on the edge, Kathryn…"

 

Her hands were already on his chest, sliding slowly, seductively down his body. "Or, we could ride it out," she said, and in one move she was straddling his thighs and flicking his nipple with her tongue.

 

Involuntarily his hips rose up towards her, his body desperate for everything she was offering.

 

"I'm not sure if I trust myself just yet," he insisted.

 

"Trust me," Kathryn carefully countered, lifting her head back up and pausing above him. Watching. Waiting. Unwilling to go any further unless he gave her permission.

 

Chakotay swallowed hard. This woman would be the death of him. But at least he would die happy. He relented with a small nod of his head, his hands already moving to her waist to encourage her into the right position for him.

 

Kathryn was already wet for him as she lowered herself onto his throbbing penis. She waited there as they both took a moment to enjoy the sensation, before she began to grind against him.

 

Heat. Want. Lust. Need. It was all still there, but now there was enough space to allow the love to flow through.

 

Chakotay held himself back for a while, watching as she rose and fell against him. The gentle bounce of her breasts and fall of her hair above him. She was a goddess. Flushed and gorgeous above him. Lost in an ecstasy which she gladly shared with him.

 

He resisted the first few movements of his hips, until he could take no more, and found himself wanting not only to keep up, but take control. Kathryn encouraged him with small whispers and delightful moans, until he was bucking up wildly beneath her.

 

Until finally, neither of them could take any more. He blew his load as she shuddered around him, spilling his seed into her tight confines.

 

This time, the climax brought them both satisfaction. Kathryn collapsed against him with an indulgent grin. "That was… an experience."

 

He let out a chuckle with relief. "Not one I'm keen to repeat," he cautioned.

 

She glanced up at him through feathered lashes. "How so?"

 

Chakotay frowned, "I could have really hurt you Kathryn. I wasn't at all in control."

 

"But you didn't," she reminded him.

 

"No," he agreed, "but I'd rather never test my restraint like that again."

 

She considered his words for a moment, before dismissing them with a kiss. "You could never hurt me," she assured him, absolute confidence in her statement.

 

Chakotay was grateful for her assurance, even if he couldn't fully believe it himself.

 

But there were other ways to hurt each other. Ways that they couldn't possibly have foreseen in those blissful moments of aftersex.

****

 

The remainder of the honeymoon passed pleasantly. After their close call with toxic overdose from the aphrodisiac, they were both a little more restrained. They enjoyed long hikes in the mountains, and lazy days on the beach, dining each evening in different restaurants as they took the vacation at a leisurely pace.

 

By the end of their stay, Chakotay was so relaxed and content he'd almost forgotten that an entire universe existed outside of their escape. He'd forgotten about the life waiting for them, about Starfleet, their families… the troubles on his homeworld.

 

Chakotay sat on a bench in the waiting area of the transport station on Risa, fiddling with the gold band around his finger. Of all the recent changes in his life, this was the most notable. The physical reminder of the commitments he had made to Kathryn. His wife.

 

The woman in question had disappeared to take a tour of the new astrometrics lab on the station, whilst they waited for the transport vessel to arrive.

 

He didn’t immediately notice the inconspicuous man who joined beside him, taking a position on the immediate seat to his left. He might have been subconsciously aware of another presence, but it wasn’t until the individual spoke that his brain acknowledged that he had company.

 

“Lieutenant Commander Chakotay,” the man said.

 

The stranger’s greeting immediately had his attention. Chakotay was out of uniform, so it was almost impossible for a passerby to know he was part of Starfleet, let alone his rank. His head twisted in the direction of his unexpected companion, to examine his face and determine if he recognised the individual. He didn’t.

 

“I’m sorry,” he started politely, quashing down the feeling of unease about his company. “Do I know you?”

 

“No,” the man replied simply. “However, you're known to us.”

 

“Us?” He asked cautiously, subtly glancing around to see if there was anyone else he should be aware of.

 

“Starfleet intelligence,” the stranger said simply.

 

The man wore no uniform, bore no communication badge or any other insignia. If this individual represented some part of the intelligence service, Chakotay had no way to validate this claim.

 

“And you are?” he pressed.

 

“Sloan.” Came the simple reply.

 

Chakotay narrowed his eyes. “And you’re part of Starfleet intelligence?” He decided to humour this conversation, but was far from believing a word of it.

 

“That doesn’t matter,” the man shrugged, “I’ve come to ask you for a favour.”

 

He was immediately on edge. “I follow orders. I don’t do favours for unmarked arms of Starfleet intelligence,” Chakotay said, making an immediate move to stand.

 

“Did you know your wife has applied to join the Gage as head of science?”

 

He hesitated; If it was true, it was news to him. That wasn't something Kathryn had mentioned, but the position had recently become available. However, it would be a step back from the first officer roles Starfleet were discussing with Kathryn. He wasn't sure whether or not to believe Sloan's suggestion.

 

“What of it?” he asked carefully, unwilling to give anything away.

 

“Her request will be refused; Starfleet wants her in command of a ship; not the wife of a mid-ranking officer where she will disappear behind a science station.”

 

Chakotay gritted his teeth, not liking the man's tone, or the insinuation that anyone was in control of his wife's career other than herself. "You'd better choose your next words very carefully, Sloan."

 

"Eventually Kathryn will tell you her request was denied, and predictably, you'll tell her it's just as well, assure her that you can wait for more suitable postings together. Except that your joint requests will continuously be denied. After a while you'll drift apart, until eventually there's nothing left of your marriage except a record on a database. And you'll see her on the news and tell your children that you used to know that woman."

 

Chakotay clenched his fists together, ready to punch the smirk from Sloan's face.

 

The man continued. "You'll think back to this moment, and wonder if any of that had to do with turning down an opportunity to do a favour for a stranger at a transport station."

 

"Are you threatening me?"

 

Sloan shrugged nonchalantly. "Do you want to find out?"

 

"What is it that you want?" He asked heatedly.

 

"The Cardassians have set up a mining operation in the South sea of Trebus' largest continent. We believe this is a cover for something else. During your next visit, I need you to infiltrate the main facility, and download the computer's database."

 

"No," he said firmly, "I want no part of this. You can find someone else to do your dirty work for you."

 

Sloan stood slowly from his chair. "It's your choice of course, but your homeworld is under threat. If you won't do this for yourself, then do it for your family; for your people."

 

Chakotay stood with his hands fisted, arms hanging rigidly at his side. He didn't dare say anything further to Sloan for fear that he wouldn't be able to control what he did next.

 

Sloan removed a small device from his pocket and placed it carefully on the chair where he'd been sitting. "When you're done, leave this on your return shuttle. We'll do the rest."

 

Chakotay said nothing, simply watched on as the man turned and walked away, quickly disappearing into the crowd.

 

"Hey." Kathryn's tender voice drew his attention, and he turned around to find her walking up behind him.

 

"Hey," he just about managed a reply, but was unwilling to let her know that something was wrong. Forcing a smile, he greeted her return with a kiss.

 

"Have they announced our shuttle yet?" She asked, shifting one of the bags to get back to her seat.

 

"Not yet," he said smoothly, then, glancing at the device on the chair, quickly scooped it up, moving it discreetly into his pocket. He had no intention of using it, but something made him think she was better off not seeing it.

 

"Who were you talking to?" She asked, eyes fixed on a PADD in her hand as she scrolled through the transport notices.

 

"No one," he said too quickly.

 

Kathryn looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, "There was a man standing with you as I entered the lounge. It looked like you were talking."

 

"Ah," he wasn't sure why he was lying, but he didn't want Kathryn to have any part in whatever Sloan was trying to rope him into. "Guy thought he knew me. He didn't."

 

She frowned, clearly sensing something was off. 

 

Fortunately, at that exact moment, there was an announcement in the waiting area for a docking change. Their transport shuttle was not only running late, but would arrive at the other end of the station.

 

Kathryn immediately let the topic go, and soon forgot about the entire interaction, as they grabbed their bags and walked across the concord to another gate.

 

For Chakotay however, the unusual request weighed on his mind as they embarked on the trip to Trebus. Worried about the potential threat from Sloan, but also the threat to his homeworld. The device eventually made its way to the bottom of his bag, where after a few days on a cramped and tiny shuttle, he almost forgot all about it.

Chapter 4

Kathryn woke that morning to gentle hands caressing her body; soft sensual movements. She let out an agreeable moan. “Don’t wake up,” Chakotay whispered an instruction, and so she did as suggested and kept her eyes closed, remaining blissfully on the edge of sleep.

 

After two days onboard a cramped transport ship, they were halfway to Trebus. Chakotay had been unusually quiet since their departure from Risa. She suspected he was feeling a little apprehensive about his return home. Despite the subtle distance he was keeping, he was no less affectionate or insatiable. This wasn't the first morning he'd woken her so sweetly.

 

Chakotay worked his way down her body, lifting her nightdress up and panties down. Taking a familiar position between her thighs, he began making expert sweeps of his tongue between her folds.

 

Kathryn forced herself to remain in the wonderful haze of sleep for as long as she could. Reaching down, she threaded fingers through the back of his dark brown hair, arching up against him. 

 

Eventually the pressure became delightfully intolerable, and she found herself grinding against him, consciously seeking conclusion to his diligent efforts.

 

As she came against his hot, wonderful mouth, she heard a similar grunt of satisfaction escape his lips, and she knew he'd given in to his own needs.

 

Tugging at his shoulders, she encouraged him back up the mattress, snuggling into the hollow of his body, which perfectly fit against hers. "I love you," she whispered, "I want to wake up every morning beside you."

 

Chakotay gave her shoulder an agreeable squeeze, but was unusually quiet. 

 

Kathryn knew he was mulling something over, so she gave him time, waited him patiently out.

 

"Have you had any conversations about your next assignment?" Chakotay finally asked, a curious lilt to his voice which she hadn't expected.

 

Kathryn ran an affectionate hand down his side, "I thought we agreed not to talk about work whilst we're away."

 

He pursed his lips. "I know," he pulled back a little, and she could see a concerned look on his face. "This is important though... I heard you applied to join me on the Gage?"

 

That had her attention. "Who told you that?"

 

"Have you?" He pressed.

 

She hesitated, having wanted to surprise him with the posting, or avoid his disappointment if she was refused. Starfleet had been hinting at a more challenging posting in the pipeline, but for the first time in a while, she was tempted to the quiet life with her new husband.

 

"I've applied, yes," she reluctantly admitted.

 

"For the head of science?"

 

How could he possibly know that? It was no use denying it though. "I was hoping to surprise you," she confessed, with a slow smile.

 

Chakotay looked hesitant. "That would be a step down for you," he needlessly pointed out.

 

Knowing that he was about to mount a protest, she reached for him, wrapping arms around his neck. "So?" She shrugged, "It's a position I'll enjoy and do well, and most importantly, it will allow us to be together."

 

He stilled in her arms, and she could instantly tell that he wasn't nearly as happy at the prospect as she'd hoped he would be. "I don't want you to make that kind of sacrifice for me," he said simply.

 

She watched him carefully, furrowing her brow. "It's hardly a sacrifice."

 

As he met her gaze, it looked like he wanted to say something more, but he was holding himself back. Eventually, his posture relaxed and he let out a deep breath. "If that's what you really want? If you think you can be happy with that?" 

 

Kathryn kissed him. "I'm happy wherever I am with you," she promised.

 

And that was the truth. Starfleet was a passion, and her career was being fast tracked, and whilst space exploration and the challenge of command brought her much excitement, it was Chakotay who brought her contentment. It wouldn't be easy, but if she had to choose between the two, Chakotay would always come first. She could live without Starfleet; she couldn't be without him.

****

 

The Homeworld

 

Trebus was a mostly a barren planet, except for the northernmost hemisphere where there was luscious vegetation. Endless acres of forest, interspersed with meadows and spotted with settlements. 

 

Chakotay's family were located just outside one of the largest towns on the planet. A chalet style house where there was just as much outdoor living space inside as there was inside.

 

The rooms all opened out onto a wooden veranda which wrapped the entire building. The kitchen contained a modest dining table inside for the rare occasions that the weather was bad enough to take shelter. Most of the time, they would dine out on the decking, where a canopy provided shelter from the warm sun and other elements.

 

Chakotay glanced over his shoulder one last time as they approached the house, watching his new wife's reaction to seeing his childhood home.

 

Her eyes were darting curiously in every direction. To the children playing cricket on the meadow with no shoes. The native species of quadrupeds, which looked something close to a cross between a giraffe and bear grazing in the foliage. The tall Treban trees which reached up to the sky, whilst their willowy branches swayed in any direction except the breeze.

 

She was so distracted by all the wondrous new things around her, that she almost forgot where they were headed.

 

"Chakotay, Kathryn!" The voice of his mother drew their attention, as they both looked over to the tall slender woman who had appeared at the entrance to the home.

 

Tananka moved quickly in their direction. Chakotay caught his mother first, in a fierce hug, lifting her a little from the floor as they quickly made up for their last three years apart.

 

When they eventually parted, Tananka turned to Kathryn, holding out an inviting arm, to welcome her daughter in law.

 

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person, Tananka," Kathryn said, as they embraced.

 

"The pleasure is ours," came a quick reply. The older woman pulled back, taking her face in both hands. "You're so much more beautiful in natural sunlight," she exclaimed, much to Kathryn's embarrassment. Then, turning back to her son, "You don't do things by halves, do you my son?"

 

Chakotay just grinned.

 

"Well, you'd better come in and get something to drink," she ushered them towards the building. "This planet has a dry heat. You'll lose moisture quickly. Drink twice as much as what you think you should."

 

"Where's father?" Chakotay asked as they followed his mother inside.

 

"At a council meeting," she said dismissively. "He'll be home for supper."

 

Chakotay dumped their bags by the front door, and immediately made his way onto the kitchen, following the path of a familiar smell. At the hob, he found a pot, and lifted the lid to inspect the contents. "Chilli," he noted, reaching for a spoon to take a sample.

 

Tananka came up quickly beside him. "Yes," watching carefully as he took a bite, and tapping away his hand when he went for another sample. "I've toned down the spice."

 

The heat of the spices finally caught the back of Chakotay's throat with an afterburn. "Wow," he exclaimed, having forgotten how intense his mother's cooking could be.

 

"Too much spice?" She asked worriedly, grabbing the spoon to check the seasoning for herself.

 

"You might want to make sure there's plenty of sour cream on the table," he suggested quietly.

 

Listening to the interaction from the doorway, Kathryn felt it necessary to reassure them. "I'm sure I'll be fine," she insisted, "Please don't adjust your recipe for me."

 

Tananka smiled pleasantly over her shoulder, "It's not you I'm so much worried about," she patted her son's shoulder, "It's your husband who can't handle the heat."

 

Kathryn looked unconvinced. "You love my grandmother's Biryani," she noted.

 

Chakotay nodded, "Yes, because it's perfectly balanced. My mother, however, doesn't think she's made a good chilli unless you're crying throughout dinner."

 

Tananka laughed, tussling her son's hair with great affection as she stepped past him and towards Kathryn. "I'll show you to your room," she said, changing the topic, gesturing for them to follow her.

 

The older woman led them out to the back of the house, where Kathryn was surprised to find a small outbuilding across the garden.

 

"This used to be my father's workshop," Chakotay explained as he carried their bags down the steps from the main house, and along the short path to the entrance.

 

Tananka opened the door, and they both stepped inside the high vaulted room with wooden panelling. There was a large double bed in the centre, a couple of doors leading to cupboards and a bathroom, and a couch and small guest kitchenette. It was quaint and homely. Kathryn immediately loved it.

 

"I'll leave you both to settle in," Tananka said, then lowering her voice to her son, "Dinner will be in an hour, try not to be too late."

 

Chakotay couldn't suppress the grin as he watched his mother leave, closing the door behind herself. Once they were alone, he turned to his wife with a predatory look.

 

"Don't even think about it," Kathryn said quickly, as she caught the look in his eye.

 

"I'm already thinking about it," he said, putting their bags down, and taking some deliberate steps towards her.

 

"We should help your mother set up for dinner."

 

"She's not expecting us to help," he assured her, closing the distance between them.

 

Kathryn circled around him, "I'm not going to be rude and ignore your family when we've just arrived."

 

"Kathryn, we're newlyweds, they're not expecting us to leave this room for at least the next couple of days."

 

She carefully dodged his arm as he attempted to take hold of her. "I'm not having sex with you when your mother is right outside the door," she hissed.

 

Chakotay placed his hands on his hips, struggling to suppress his amusement. "She won't be trying to listen in," he assured her.

 

Kathryn headed for the door.

 

Moving quickly, he intercepted her before she could leave, positioning himself between her and the exit. Finding her path blocked, she folded her arms and glared up at him, clearly unimpressed.

 

Chakotay held his palms out, as if taming a wild horse. "Do you remember our first time at your mother's house?" He asked carefully.

 

She rolled her eyes at the memory. Of how she'd woken him in the early hours to peppered kisses and wandering hands. Reassuring him that the old building had been retrofitted with modern soundproofing when he tried to quieten her enthusiasm as their passion escalated.

 

"Trust me to know what's acceptable in my parent's home; as I've trusted you."

 

Her stance softened, so he carefully took her in his arms, kissing her gently as he eased her into the idea, distracting her from her concerns with lavish attention to her neck and cleavage.

 

As she willingly succumbed to his seduction, he led her to the bed, where he encouraged her to lay back along the bottom edge and allow him to undress them both.

 

Lips followed fingers, fingers followed eyes, as they enjoyed every inch of each other's skin. Chakotay marked every freckle, and her touches incensed every goosebump on his body.

 

His probing fingers discovered her already slick and ready for him, so he climbed carefully between her thighs, and positioned himself above her. Swooping down to kiss her breathless, he allowed his member to find her entrance and slowly nudge himself inside.

 

Chakotay let out a satisfied sigh as he began to penetrate her. His shaft sliding up into her warm, welcoming folds, up to the hilt until she could take no more of him.

 

They began gentle movements. Rocking slowly at first, building up the momentum.

 

He felt exquisite inside of her. Everything she could ever want, currently held between both of her legs. She arched back, eyes closed, as she enjoyed every sensation he elicited.

 

The sound of a click followed by the squeak of a hinge, and they both stilled as a door opened.

 

Kathryn's eyes flew open and she strained her head back to catch sight of their intruder. Involuntarily making eye contact with Kolopak.

 

The older man looked immediately away, but stood his ground, refusing to be embarrassed in his own home. "Son," he said simply.

 

"Father," Chakotay gritted out in reply, as he held himself protectively above his wife, knowing that if he made any move to withdraw he would only further expose her.

 

"I didn't realise you were home already," Kolopak had his eyes carefully trained on the ceiling.

 

"If you don't mind giving us a moment, we'll get dressed and come out to greet you properly."

 

"Of course," Kolopak said, stepping back from the door and quickly closing it behind himself.

 

Chakotay slipped out from her body and rolled away the moment they were alone again. He turned to her, "I'm so sorry," he said quickly. "Are you okay?"

 

Kathryn buried her face in her hands, mortified with embarrassment at what had just happened. "I can't believe that's your father's first real impression of me."

 

"He should have at least knocked first," Chakotay looked rather annoyed.

 

Without knowing the routine in their household she didn't dare comment.

 

"That's not normal by the way," he felt it was necessary to assure her, "My father doesn't regularly just walk in on people having sex."

 

Kathryn raised an eyebrow; she hadn't even thought of that. Still, her embarrassment was the most overwhelming thought.

 

"Come on," he patted her thigh, as he jumped off the bed and headed for the bathroom. "We should go face the music before it gets too awkward."

 

"I think I'm going to have to stay in this room for the rest of our trip," she grumbled, sinking back into the covers and willing them to swallow her up.

 

From the bathroom he began running the water for the shower. He called out to the bedroom. "My father's seen me emerge out of a woman, I'm sure he'll find the humour in seeing me trying to get back onto one."

 

Kathryn rolled her eyes at his terrible joke. Knowing that her husband was probably right about facing up to the consequences, she dragged herself off the bed and crossed over to the shower.

 

"You're not in the slightest bit funny by the way," she admonished, as she stepped under the spray of the water with him.

 

Chakotay pulled her into a reluctant hug, the warm water washing over their mingled bodies. He kissed the top of her head. "You'll see the funny side eventually."

-

 

Despite Chakotay's insistence of trying to find the lighter side to the situation, he still glared daggers at his father when they joined Tananka and Kolopak at the outdoor dining table. Making clear his disapproval for the invasion of privacy.

 

The older man stood hesitantly as they approached, his focus entirely on Kathryn. "I'm sorry about earlier," he began. "I was intending to move out some boxes from the outhouse before you arrived. I hadn't realised either of you were already in there."

 

"It's fine," Kathryn was desperate to brush it off and move on with the evening.

 

"No it's not," he insisted, "We're open about sex and love in this family; but not that open."

 

Kathryn glanced to Chakotay and Tananka for their responses, and to her surprise found they were both struggling to suppress smiles. 

 

Noticing her attention, Kolopak explained. "You'll have to ignore my wife and son, they both have the same terrible sense of humour."

 

Tananka gave Kathryn a kind smile. "It's really nothing to be embarrassed about," she said quickly. "And it's not the first time Chakotay has been caught in a compromising position with a young woman."

 

That comment quickly wiped the smirk from Chakotay's face. "Maybe we should begin dinner," he tried to change the topic.

 

"Which woman was this?" Kathryn pursued the topic the moment she realised her husband's discomfort.

 

Tananka ushered her towards a seat at the table as she began to serve up the chilli. "Oh, the daughter or our community leader: Dasani. She'd had a crush on Chakotay throughout school, and pursued our son relentlessly when he came back to visit during a summer break from the academy. On the last night of his stay, her cousin walked in on them in a compromising position behind the community hall."

 

"We were kissing," Chakotay quickly interjected.

 

His mother raised an eyebrow as if to suggest it was likely more than a simple kiss, but she graciously let the topic slide to save her son any further embarrassment.

 

Kathryn was unable to suppress her amusement at seeing her husband squirm before his parents.

 

"It was quite the gossip around the town for a time," Tananka continued. "Kolopak's son and Open Water's daughter would have made quite the political power couple."

 

"Or quite the political power struggle," Kolopak cut in, his expression stern.

 

The atmosphere around the dining table instantly cooled. Not understanding what had changed, Kathryn glanced between all three of them, finding that they were all suddenly avoiding eye contact with one another. Unwilling to be left in the dark, she decided to ask what Kolopak meant. "Am I missing something?" She asked carefully.

 

"No," Chakotay covered her hand with his own, but she didn't miss the sharp, meaningful look he shot his father.

 

This only further fueled her curiosity. "What's going on?" she pressed.

 

After some reluctant looks between them, Kolopak finally spoke. "There was a time when it was hoped Chakotay would eventually become part of the council. He is a natural born leader; at least within our community. People gravitate towards him, look to him for advice and inspiration." His father said simply, without inflated pride or ego. It was a simple statement of fact. "It was always my hope that he would rise to his potential; step up one day to lead this planet."

 

Kathryn felt Chakotay's grip on her hand tighten. Turning to her husband she saw an unusual fire in his eyes, directed at the older man. "Those were your desires, Father."

 

Kolopak turned his gaze to Kathryn and offered her a small smile. "I apologise; I don't mean to cause any disrespect. We are very delighted to have you in our home; as part of our family. The spirits always warned me that Chakotay had a split destiny. I just never imagined however that the second path would lead him all the way to the stars."

 

Chakotay took a breath, and she witnessed him trying to force a calm he didn't feel.

 

"You mentioned a power struggle ?"

 

Both men were locked in a fierce exchange, so it was Tananka who filled in the gaps. "Dasani is now our community leader. She has always been traditional, but also impulsive; short sighted in her decisions. Kolopak worries that she is giving the Cardassians too much leeway. That she is too focussed on avoiding healthy conflict, and not pushing back against their unreasonable demands."

 

Kolopak pushed back from the table but addressed his wife with a softness shared by his son. "I'm sorry my love, I've lost my appetite."

 

"Take a walk, Kolopak," she suggested, brushing the back of his hand. "I'll keep your food warm for supper."

 

It took a moment after he'd gone until Chakotay spoke, and when he did there was a disquiet and guilt to his features which she'd never known before. "Is it that bad?" He asked his mother.

 

Tananka attempted a brave smile. "Your father is upset because he believes you would do a better job in Dasani's place. We have made peace with your choice, but perhaps whilst you are here you'd be willing to talk with Dasani. Help her see the longer term consequences to the decisions she is making now?"

 

"I don't know Mother…" Chakotay said carefully, "Dasani has always been a force of nature, and I don't see how my opinion after such a long absence would hold any weight here."

 

"Maybe not," Tananka agreed thoughtfully. "There will be an opportunity at the Equinox celebrations tomorrow. Perhaps you could find time for a subtle word with her; listen and ask questions."

 

Chakotay neither accepted or rejected her proposal, but Kathryn could tell he was weighing it up.

-

 

Later that evening as they prepared for bed, Kathryn found herself probing a little further into the conversation.

 

"I hadn't realised your father had expectations of you becoming a leader on Trebus," she commented quietly.

 

Chakotay shrugged it off, as he rooted through his bag for a nightshirt.

 

"It's vanity, Kathryn. Nothing more. Just the proud hopes of an old man for his only son."

 

"No," she disagreed, "It's more than that. I see it too; that potential. For leadership, that instinct to help people; to reach them. It's part of you."

 

He looked less than convinced. "That's not what I want. This planet; this rejection of technology and of progress. I've known my whole life that I wanted more; needed more."

 

Kathryn was quiet for a while, as she acknowledged a thought which hadn't been conscious until now. "You fight against it, even in Starfleet."

 

"What?"

 

Her eyes widened as the realisation fully hit her. "How many years did you resist progressing along the command track before you finally gave in? And then even after you completed the advanced training; you've resisted promotions and shied away from your own potential."

 

Her husband looked away, his jaw hardened as he carefully considered his response. "I've always had other priorities," he said. "I enjoyed the lower decks because they afforded me a sense of freedom. I became a senior officer because it came naturally over time. Now, I enjoy supporting your career."

 

"I think you're scared," she said, a challenge in her tone.

 

His eyes widened.

 

"I think you're scared that if you command a ship, you'll realise how good you are; and then you'll worry that if your father was right about your potential as a leader, then he might be right about other things; such as his desire for you to live on Trebus."

 

Chakotay folded his arms protectively around himself, feeling exposed before this woman. "I choose my own path, Kathryn. I choose you," he stubbornly insisted. "I haven't allowed my father to influence my decisions since I was fifteen. I won't start again now."

 

Kathryn reached out, carefully touching his arm. However she decided against pressing the issue any further; Chakotay was many wonderful things, but his stubbornness was at times unmovable. Offering him a kiss, they allowed the topic to slide, joining beneath the covers in a comforting embrace. 

 

For a while after he'd drifted off to sleep though, Kathryn found herself lying awake with a new thought. Chakotay was so easily prepared to put her first in his life, but to what extent was she willing to do the same? When the time came, would it be necessary to compromise on her own ambitions to support him, or would they always be able to find synergy in a way forward together?

Chapter 5

Chakotay spent the day showing Kathryn around his homeworld; all the places he had taken for granted in his youth, he now appreciated with renewed wonder through his wife's curious eyes.

 

She peppered him with questions. What was that building used for? Where did he play as a child? What was the local wildlife like? Everything was new and exciting for her, and it was infectious. He found himself looking back at many things he had rejected as a young adult, with fresh appreciation.

 

Later that evening, they walked to the main town hand in hand, to join the community in celebrating the planet's longest day. The streets were lit with fuel filled lamps which flickered in the hazy sunlight. Decorations hung from the buildings and in the windows. Music drifted from the town square, the crowds growing as they approached.

 

They found his parents with some friends outside the bar, who ordered them drinks and filled plates with food. Kathryn was busy enjoying the street food when Chakotay found his attention being drawn away to a familiar set of brown eyes.

 

Excusing himself from the table, Chakotay went over to greet an old friend.

 

"Dasani," he said quietly.

 

She hadn't changed in the two decades since their misspent youth. Now both in their mid-thirties, they regarded one another with an understanding and acceptance which can only come with time. Understanding of one another and acceptance of choices they had each made in their lives. His to leave. Hers to stay.

 

"Chakotay," she greeted with a welcoming smile, then nodding over to the table he'd recently abandoned added, "I see you've brought a wife with you this time."

 

He glanced over his shoulder to Kathryn, "I'll introduce you in a moment," he promised.

 

"But not before you have a private word with me," her eyes narrowed.

 

He grinned sheepishly. "You've always been to the point."

 

"As have you," she reminded him.

 

Chakotay tugged on his earlobe. "My father suggested I talk with you about the Cardassian situation; share my thoughts on them."

 

She rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me. They're vicious. Conniving. They can't be trusted."

 

Opening up his palms he shrugged, "Well… yes."

 

Dasani frowned. "I know all of those things," she wasn't dismissive, but she sounded resigned. "We don't have much choice over the Cardassian interest in Trebus; not without bloodshed. However, we do have some control over the relationship; whether that's as a friend or foe."

 

Chakotay was quiet. "I can't see an alliance with them ever ending well."

 

"Perhaps you should come and see for yourself," she suggested softly. "See the mining operation on the south continent; the safeguards we have in place to protect the environment and native species. Maybe if I can convince you, then you can reassure Kolopak."

 

Chakotay's mind involuntarily flickered back to Sloan, to the device at the bottom of his bag, to the veiled threat hanging over his future with Kathryn. He refused to give in to those guised threats, however it would do no harm to take up Dasani's offer; see what was happening for himself.

 

Somehow he found himself agreeing and accepting the proposal. "It would be interesting to gain your perspective."

 

"Good," she smiled. "I'm heading down there at the end of the week; you can join me."

 

With the plan set out, Dasani changed the topic. "I understand your sister is extending her stay on Earth," she began conversationally.

 

"It's a long trip. It's sensible to make the most of it," he offered up noncommittally.

 

"I'm worried about the indefinite nature of the stay," it became clear Dasani was fishing for information. "Did Sekaya give you any indication when she might return?"

 

Chakotay held her eye, "When she's ready, I'm sure."

 

Dasani narrowed her eyes. "It doesn't look good for the community; for Kolopak. Both your father's children leaving makes people feel nervous. They look to him for guidance; what does it say when his own children choose to leave?" The woman revealed the true reason for her enquiry.

 

"That maybe it's time for change," Chakotay said carefully, "Maybe it's time to establish dialogue with the Federation again. Choose more suitable allies."

 

She pursed her lips. "The Federation aren't interested in a small planet on the outskirts of their territory," she commented.

 

"Have you tried?" Chakotay pressed.

 

Dasani gave him a long look. "I'm not wasting the effort, when I know what their response will be."

 

"What's that?"

 

"To leave."

-

 

Kathryn was so involved and animated with the group around her that she barely noticed Chakotay's absence from her side, until she glanced up and saw him chatting with a tall, elegant woman at the far side of the square.

 

They looked familiar with each other, standing close and leaning in as they talked. There was a tattoo on the woman's exposed shoulder, similar in design to the one which Kolopak bore on his forehead. It piqued Kathryn's interest. They were the only two people in the village she had seen wearing the symbol. She made a mental note to ask Chakotay about it later.

 

Noticing her gaze, Tananka reached out and clasped Kathryn's hand, "That's Dasani," she whispered.

 

Kathryn did a double take. Dasani was stunningly beautiful, in ways which were a polar opposite to Kathryn. Tall and physically foreboding. Short raven black hair and soft facial features. Make-up which accentuated almond shaped eyes and full lips. 

 

Remembering Tananka's teasing of Chakotay the other night, Kathryn felt an unexpected rush of jealousy.

 

Just as she felt herself staring, the two of them began moving with purpose towards their table.

 

"Hello Dasani," Tananka stood and pulled the other woman into an easy hug.

 

Kathryn noted that Kolopak offered a tight nod, but made no effort to rise up from the table.

 

And then finally Kathryn was introduced, standing from her chair to find herself in the tight embrace with the other woman.

 

"It's lovely to meet you," Dasani said easily as they pulled apart.

 

"And you," Kathryn smiled politely.

 

"We don't often get visitors from outsiders; especially not from Starfleet. Tell me Kathryn, what are your first impressions of Trebus?"

 

Kathryn suddenly felt all eyes on her, as the small group waited on baited breath for her response.

 

"It's like home," she replied simply, much to the surprise of the small group gathered around her.

 

"Kathryn grew up in the countryside," Chakotay explained. "In a rural town, much like our own."

 

"Fascinating," said Dasani, "I assumed most Starfleet officers grew up at least part of their lives in space."

 

"Aside from a few holidays to Mars, I rarely left the planet as a child," Kathryn admitted, unsure of its significance.

 

"And when you have children of your own, do you plan to settle on a planet? To give them a similar upbringing?"

 

Kathryn faltered as she struggled for a response. It wasn't something she and Chakotay had discussed. If anything, it was a topic she'd be content to avoid for a while longer. 

 

Feeling Chakotay's hand come down to rest on the small of her back, she looked over to see a patient smile tugging at his lips. "Steady Dasani," he gently admonished, saving his wife from needing to reply. "We've been married less than two weeks."

 

The community leader smiled indulgently. "When the time comes I hope you might consider settling on Trebus," she said with sincerity, and then with an affectionate hand on Chakotay's shoulder added, "I know everyone would be glad to welcome you, as well as see one of our own return."

-

 

As they walked back to the family house, Kathryn found herself pondering Dasani's words and the open invitation to live on Trebus. Settling permanently on a planet wasn't something she had given much thought to. She had made a home amongst the stars over the past decade, and couldn't imagine giving that up. However, children required permanence and security, and if she and Chakotay chose to start a family, it was a sensible consideration.

 

It occurred to Kathryn that whilst she and Chakotay had gently prodded at the idea, she didn't know his preference on where to raise a family, or when to start.

 

"Do you ever see yourself wanting to return here, to Trebus?" she asked after a while.

 

Chakotay glanced over at her through the corner of his eye. "No," he replied firmly, leaving no room for any doubt. "Don't pay any attention to what Dasani was saying."

 

"She had an interesting point," Kathryn said mildly. "About raising children on a planet; we both had wonderful upbringings; stability and consistency. Is that something you would want to replicate?"

 

Chakotay squeezed her fingers in his, but he didn't reply straight away. "It's not the place which is important to me, but the intention and the timing. When we're ready, I'm confident that we can create those things wherever we are."

 

Kathryn rested her head on his shoulder as they walked, he sounded so confident, and she felt so safe with him, that any obstacle seemed easily surmountable.

 

"Whenever we're ready?" she echoed quietly, remembering a time over two years ago when they'd had a pregnancy scare. Chakotay's easy acceptance of the situation and willingness to embrace the possibility had been terrifying to her at the time. "You mean when I'm ready?"

 

He squeezed her fingers in his. "I'm not in any rush," he gently reassured.

 

A wave of relief washed over her, but then a second of guilt. Chakotay had been clear about his desire for a family some day, with her. It wasn't a breaking point for him, but it was a preference, and although he wasn't pressuring her, he was waiting on her decision. 

 

Meanwhile Kathryn was biding her time. She had requested the posting aboard the Gage so they could be together, even though it would be a step back in her career, it would give her the chance to consider the dynamic; test if it could work. She was a scientist at heart, and every hypothesis required data to validate. Living together permanently would give her that opportunity.

 

"Did you get your chance to talk with Desani about the Cardassian interest in Trebus?" she asked, feeling the need for a change in topic.

 

Chakotay nodded, "Yes. She invited me to visit the mining operation. I think she's hoping to win me over, so I can reassure my father."

 

"Will you go?"

 

"Yes, but even if I was convinced by the arrangement, the bigger challenge would be convincing my father." A beat passed before he added, "We're not exactly close anymore."

 

Kathryn could hear the pain of the admission layered in his voice. Whilst Chakotay and Kolopak were cordial with one another, there was a distance between them. "You were close once," she reminded him, remembering the many stories he'd shared of his childhood. "I know he was disappointed you chose to leave for Starfleet, but I get the sense there's more to it."

 

"It was more than disappointment in my decision, I think I broke his heart," Chakotay said quietly. "When I was fifteen he took me on an expedition deep in the rainforest to find the Rubber Tree People; our spiritual cousins. I believe it was his hope to bond and quieten my ' wandering spirit', but it achieved quite the opposite. It cemented my choice, which I broke to him halfway during the trip.

 

"I could tell he was devastated, but I refused to acknowledge it. The tattoo he wears above his forehead," Chakotay gestured to the blank canvas on the same position of his own face, "He got it during the trip, to honour our ancestors. But I think now, it's just a reminder of the last time we were together as father and son. That our patriline within this community ends with me."

 

His words suddenly added more weight to their earlier topic of discussion. Chakotay had no intention to raise children on Trebus. For pioneering people, it was quite the rejection. It seemed that Chakotay had dashed many of his father's hopes.

 

"I notice Dasani wears the same marking on her shoulder…" she probed carefully.

 

Chakotay scoffed. "That was possibly the final insult. Dasani and her father made a similar journey the following year. It brought them closer, and on their return she announced her intentions to join the council." He sighed, "I think seeing his friend succeed at his own perceived failing wounded him more than he'll ever admit."

 

Kathryn was quiet for a moment while she absorbed the story. "Do you think you'll ever find common ground together?"

 

Her husband sighed. "I don't know," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper, "but I hope so."

****

 

Chakotay felt the heavy weight of the data extraction device in his pocket. An equal weight of guilt and foreboding on his chest. He hadn't decided whether or not he would use it, but found himself bringing it along in any case. 

 

He wasn't entirely convinced that Sloan was part of Starfleet intelligence, but he couldn't think of any malicious reason for the lie, or any other explanation for how the man knew about Kathryn's request to join the Gage.

 

There was only one thing he knew for certain; the Cardassians were bad news. If there was anything he could do to uncover the truth behind their agenda, he was keen to expose it; expose them.

 

Chakotay took an instant dislike to Gul Dukat. He was cold and arrogant and sly. Everything he'd come to expect from a Cardassian Gul. But he was also unexpectedly charming and intelligent. Chakotay didn't like it one bit, but it was obvious that he had Dasani convinced.

 

The woman who had once dogmatically pursued Chakotay in their youth, now swooned placidly in the presence of Dukat as he showed them around the mining facility. It was Dasani herself who pointed out the efforts which they'd gone to, in order to protect the landscape. The unintrusive use of technology. The benefits of free energy which had been bartered for their community.

 

Chakotay was unfamiliar with such generosity and diplomacy from the reptilian race. It was the uneasy feeling that led him to surreptitiously place the surveillance device in a concealed crevice within the main control room.

 

They went down into the mine, and Chakotay was shown the cave networks they had found. Entirely new groups of sub-terran species which had been discovered. He even met a group of scientists from their own colony who were working closely to catalogue the findings.

 

When they returned to the main site, Chakotay pretended to only just realise he'd left his jacket behind. He was about to go back to the control room to look for it, when Dukat offered to escort him, unwilling to take no for an answer.

 

"I get the sense you don't trust our intentions," Dukat made the blatant observation as they walked.

 

Chakotay tensed, but tried not to show it. "I want what's best for my people."

 

"Trebus, or Starfleet?" The Gul questioned with a deliberate challenge in his eye.

 

Schooling his features he gave a definite answer, "Trebus."

 

"Ah," Dukat said with a knowing tone, "but they're not your people. Not anymore. If the stories are to be believed, you turned your back on their ways, and left without a backwards glance. You're as much Starfleet now, as that beautiful wife of yours."

 

They arrived at the control room and something in Chakotay's heart stilled. "Dasani told you about my wife?" he said carefully, focussing on collecting his jacket, whilst he surreptitiously disconnected the device and pocketed it.

 

"I've heard about your wife, yes," admitted Dukat.

 

Chakotay didn't like the way the other man said that, but something about this man's style spiked a sense of danger. He decided to close down the conversation.

 

"It looks like a slick operation you're running here," Chakotay redirected the conversation as he moved towards the door. "Dasani is certainly very pleased with the arrangement."

 

Dukat took a side step, purposefully blocking Chakotay's path to the door. Both men squared up against one another. Six feet of bulk between each of them. A physical altercation could go either way. "I know that my people have a poor reputation amongst Starfleet, but outside Federation limits we are well regarded and respected ."

 

Chakotay didn't miss the implied threat. It wasn't his place however to create any tension or stir up trouble. "I have no doubt," he said diplomatically.

 

Dukat regarded him with dark, penetrating eyes, pools of black which disappeared into the abyss. "I'm glad you understand," he said, stepping back away with a slick smile. "We don't want trouble any more than you do."

 

With an uneasy understanding, they returned to the exit where Dasani was waiting. She offered them a triumphant smile, believing to have made a breakthrough, but Chakotay thought it wise to hold back his reservations.

 

Boarding the transport to return to the northern hemisphere, the two old friends were quiet for a while as they travelled back to the main town. It was Desani who eventually broke the silence.

 

"I'm not naïve enough to believe that Dukat is a good man, or that the Cardassians aren't capable of terrible things. However sometimes it's better the devil you know."

 

Chakotay clasped his hands together, and leant forward onto his elbows. He was trying desperately to hold his tongue, unwilling to get drawn into this, however he needed to say something . "You've invited the devil into your backyard, Desani. I hope you're prepared to deal with the consequences."

 

Her jaw hardened. "What would you do, in my position?"

 

He imagined reaching out to the Federation, making political allies and entering a petition to join the collaboration of systems and planets. He would ask the Cardassians to leave, and then force them out if necessary. But it wasn't that simple. The high council would never accept outside help. Even if they did, the Federation would suggest they resettle somewhere safer. The Cardassians would never leave willingly and would out-power them in a fight.

 

Here he was, getting drawn in. 

 

Chakotay couldn't answer without interjecting himself in the political affairs. He sighed. "I don't know if I would choose any better," he admitted, but not this , went unspoken.

-

 

It was late by the time Chakotay returned to the house. All the lights were off, and there was a restful silence about the place. It was almost impossible to imagine that only a few thousand kilometres away, an enemy was digging into their soil and desecrating the planet.

 

Despite the late hour, and busy day, he found himself unable to settle. Disturbed by worries about the Cardassian mining activity, the devious grin of Gul Dukat, and an uneasy request from Sloan.

 

Not quite ready for sleep he made his way out onto the veranda. The soft glow of a lamp at the back of the kitchen, told him that he wasn't the only one still up. Chakotay went to investigate, finding his father sitting on the back steps, staring up at the Trebun night sky.

 

The older man noticed his shadow lingering, and with a slight glance, shifted over and tapped the wooden planks in invitation. 

 

Chakotay sat down beside Kolopak. Neither man said anything for a long while, allowing the silence to do most of the talking for them. As they had for the better part of two decades.

 

"When our ancestors first came to this planet, one of the first things they did was to name the stars and the constellations," Kolopak finally spoke. "It made this place their home, helped them to navigate the land and learn the seasons, by understanding the sky."

 

"You could do that again, on another planet," Chakotay said quietly, not liking the suggestion any more than his need to make it.

 

Kolopak sighed with a tiredness which stretched back generations. Centuries . "Perhaps, but not before we have exhausted every other option. It's not easy to give up a home."

 

"No, it isn't."

 

Kolopak looked at his son, really looked this time. "Where is your home now, Chakotay?"

 

"You once told me that home is just where you happen to be," Chakotay offered up neutrally.

 

The older man let out a soft laugh, and a reluctant smile consumed his face. "I did say that, didn't I?"

 

"Yes."

 

Kolopak laughed, freely and full bellied. Unsure if he understood the joke, Chakotay watched on carefully, and patiently waited for an explanation.

 

"You are the embodiment of our wandering spirit, Chakotay. You have no land, and you carry few possessions. You find a new home each night amongst the stars. I once accused you of abandoning our principles, shunning our way of life, but the truth is, that it runs through you."

 

Kolopak pointed two fingers into his son's chest for emphasis. "I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time for leaving all those years ago, Chakotay. Maybe you were right all along."

 

"I never set out to be right, or wrong," Chakotay insisted.

 

Kolopak reached out, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know; you were finding your own way. Can you find a way to forgive an old man for his stubbornness and pride?"

 

Chakotay closed his eyes, fighting back tears as his father spoke to him with a tone of acceptance he'd been waiting his whole life to hear. He turned to Kolopak, and met his gaze. "Of course I can."

 

The older man reached for him, and they shared a tight embrace.

 

"I love you, Chakotay," Kolopak declared as they pulled apart, briefly taking his son's face in both of his hands.

 

"I love you too," Chakotay just about choked out, relief washing over him at the release of almost two decades of pent up emotions.

 

Kolopak pulled back and despite the unshed tears in his own eyes, he was smiling brightly. "If your mother could see us now…"

 

Chakotay laughed, "She might say it was about time," he pointed out.

 

His father nodded with agreement, patting the back of Chakotay's hand for emphasis. No further words were needed to cement this new understanding between them. 

 

Although their perspectives on life differed like night and day, their principles and ideals aligned. They were of the same blood and soil, and ultimately it was a bond which could never be broken. Chakotay felt an old ache in his heart ease up at the reconciliation.

 

A long silence stretched, as they each stared up at the stars and contemplated both past and future.

 

Kolopak was quiet when he next spoke. "Chakotay, can you make me a promise?" he asked hesitantly.

 

"I can try," he offered up.

 

His father smiled with acceptance. "If it becomes necessary, will you help our people find their way again?"

 

Chakotay looked thoughtful. "My life isn't here anymore," he stated, not unkindly, "However I will always do what I can," he promised.

 

Kolopak nodded. "That's all I ask."

 

Maybe it wasn't a fair ask, and whilst Kolopak didn't force the issue any further, he didn't rescind the request either. The idea was planted and left open and exposed between them.

 

With all three moons heavy in the sky, and the threat of sunrise only a few hours away, the two men eventually stood and bid each other a muted goodnight, before parting for their respective beds.

 

Arriving in his room, Kathryn was already fast asleep. He smiled to himself as he saw her lovely face, some of the worry and tension easing away from his shoulders at the sight of her. Whatever troubles his planet was facing, in Kathryn's presence, he felt a million times stronger to bear them.

 

Slipping under the covers beside her, he welcomed her into his arms as she shifted in her sleep and cozied up to him. 

Chapter 6

Notes:

Other projects out the way... Back to this indulgence x

On transit back to Earth

 

Kathryn had resisted looking at her messages the entire time they were on Trebus, and most of their visit to Risa before. However the Starfleet insignia attached to a recent message was difficult to ignore when she checked in as their shuttle departed:

 

"Request denied."

 

Her heart sank.

 

Her glum mood must have been showing as she joined Chakotay in their tiny cabin, and he immediately asked what was wrong.

 

"I've been refused my transfer request, to join you aboard the Gage," she calmly explained.

 

An unusual look crossed her husband's face, but he quickly masked it. His reply when it came was neutral. "I'm sorry," he reached out his arms for her, and she joined him in the armchair, settling comfortably on his lap. "Did they explain why?"

 

"Something about being over qualified…" she complained, as if it was completely unreasonable. When Chakotay didn't immediately back her up, she twisted in position and looked down at him. "You agree, don't you?"

 

"They're not wrong," he said carefully.

 

"It's my choice to make," she insisted.

 

"I know." He reached up and cupped one side of her face with his palm, fingers slipping into her hair. "You're an incredible first officer though, I can see why they want to keep you on the bridge."

 

"Do you think I should accept the decision?"

 

"No," he said firmly. "I think we should push back and insist they find us something together. A posting where neither of us will need to compromise."

 

Leaning forward she brushed her lips against his. "No compromise," she repeated softly, "I like the sound of that."

 

"It would be a very Janeway solution," he teased.

 

She smiled against his lips, "I think I might be rubbing off on you," she responded in kind.

 

"I like the way you rub off on me," he breathed, the double-entendre clear by the way he fiercely grabbed one of her hips, and pulled her closer to his bulging erection.

 

It was the easiest decision to take him to bed. Momentarily put pause to the conversation, and focus on one of the things which made them so compatible. Remind themselves of the reason they were determined to find a posting together.

 

Even as she rode him between her strong thighs, her mind was already working overtime on a solution. Perhaps she could make a call to Paris, or petition Nechayev for joint assignments on a larger galaxy class vessel…

 

The distraction of her thoughts meant that the orgasm caught her by surprise, as she found herself crashing around him without warning. Before her pace could ebb, she found herself being rolled over, as Chakotay chased his own completion. The hot spurts of his seed inside her causing a second wave of satisfaction to shudder through her body.

 

As they collapsed together into a sweaty mass of limbs and tangled sheet, Kathryn reflected that this was most certainly something worth fighting for.

****

 

The transport vessel had returned to Earth several hours ago, and while Kathryn had already made her way to their apartment, Chakotay found himself lingering in the dimly lit cabin.

 

The surveillance device sat on the table before him. He'd tried to crack it several times already to view the data, but the encryption was complex and sophisticated. It would take him days to crack, if not weeks. So, he waited.

 

It didn't take long for Sloan's shadowy figure to come through the doors. He wore a red command uniform this time, with the rank insignia of a commander, but Chakotay suspected he had security clearance well above that rank.

 

If the man was surprised to find him there, he didn't show it. "Commander Chakotay," he greeted formally.

 

"I looked you up," Chakotay replied without preamble, "According to official records you're on a deep space assignment."

 

It had been surprisingly easy to dig into the visitor logs from the Risa transport station, track down a Luther Sloan, and trace him to a crew manifest. Beneath the facade of an unremarkable career, Chakotay got the sense of a man who wanted to remain inconspicuous.

 

"I get the sense you're not officially part of Starfleet intelligence," Chakotay stated bluntly.

 

"Ah," Sloan's face twisted into a bemused grin, "You caught me."

 

Chakotay glared across the room. "Who the hell are you, really?"

 

Sloan moved confidently to the table, taking a seat opposite Chakotay. "It doesn't matter who I am," he said cryptically, "but what I represent. I work for a part of Starfleet which doesn't exist: Section 31."

 

Chakotay had heard of section 31. Through whispers and rumours. Nothing exact or tangible. A secretive intelligence branch of Starfleet that had never been acknowledged or recognised. Many assumed they were nothing more than folklore; a fabrication of conspiracy theorists.

 

"Why should I trust you?" he asked, then lifting the device between his fingers, "With this information? With my family's future?"

 

Sloan held his gaze steady. "Because I represent a part of Starfleet which has even less faith in Cardassian intentions than you do. You feel that the Federation is ignoring the concerns of Trebus and the outer colonies; that they turn a blind eye to the raids as the Cardassians quietly expand their territory. All in the name of peace. But you and I both know that there can never be peace with the Cardassians, not whilst they remain under military rule."

 

Chakotay refused to comment on the boiling pot of tensions. Trebus only had a small Cardassian mining operation, but he'd heard other worlds were suffering worse atrocities. It made him undeniably nervous for his own home planet. Was this a chance to help?

 

"My wife's request for reassignment was rejected," he intentionally changed the topic. "I want to know if that was your doing?"

 

Sloan pursed his lips, "Not my doing, no," he confirmed, "Events were already in motion beyond my influence in that regard. You have to admit though; it would have been a waste of her talent."

 

Chakotay clenched a fist under the table, unwilling to allow anyone to make that judgement but Kathryn herself. Still, it was difficult to disagree. He'd seen a glimpse of her potential, almost two years ago. A foresight into the future which had faded, but the echo of her brilliance in command remained. It was a difficult fate to ignore.

 

The temporal prime directive prohibited him from sharing what he knew, or allow it to influence their decisions. But something about the confidence in Sloan's statement made him wonder if he was the only one who knew Kathryn's promise with such certainty.

 

No . He told himself. He was better off not knowing.

 

Sloan continued unperturbed. "There are blockers I can remove in the future," he said cryptically, "In exchange for your cooperation, as and when needed."

 

Chakotay narrowed his eyes. "If I give you this, I want nothing more to do with section 31. I don't want any favours or threats. You leave us the hell alone."

 

Sloan made an agreeable gesture, "If that's what you want," he responded easily. Much too easily for Chakotay's liking.

 

As Sloan held out a hand for the device, Chakotay hesitated one last time. It felt incredibly wrong to hand over the data without knowing what it contained or what it would be used for. "I need one final promise," he said slowly. "If my family and friends are in any danger based on this information, I want you to tell me."

 

"That would constitute a favour," Sloan said carefully.

 

Chakotay stood from the table dragging back his chair as he did so. "Then I suppose that would make us even."

 

Sloan pursed his lips, but gave an agreeable nod.

 

Believing that they had an agreement, Chakotay threw him the device. "I do hope I never see you again," he said, passing by Sloan and heading for the door.

-

 

Earth

 

When Chakotay returned home, he found the apartment deserted. Kathryn left him a note to say she'd been called into Starfleet command for an urgent meeting. He wondered if it had anything to do with her next assignment, or an explanation for her rejection from the Gage. 

 

Without any way of knowing, he busied himself with unpacking, trying not to think about Sloan, about the troubles on Trebus, or the uncertainty of this first phase of their marriage.

 

When Kathryn returned home a few hours later with a triumphant grin, he instantly knew it was good news.

 

"What is it?" He asked, wiping his hands on a cloth as he finished up making dinner.

 

"Gage's first officer has just been given a captaincy…" she grinned.

 

Chakotay paused, before quickly joining the dots. "They've offered you the opening on Gage?"

 

Kathryn hesitated for the briefest of moments. "If that's okay with you? I said we'd discuss it first before I accepted."

 

He opened up his arms. "Of course that's okay with me," he insisted, unable to suppress his joy, "This is wonderful news, Kathryn!"

 

He swept her up into a tight embrace.

 

"Are you sure?" She pushed back slightly, "It doesn't bother you that I'll outrank you on your own ship?"

 

He held her face delicately in his hands. "Would you have married me if I was that type of a man?" He asked earnestly.

 

She didn't look completely convinced.

 

"Kathryn, this isn't going to be the first time I've been involved with a superior officer," he explained flippantly, only realising his mistake when he saw her raise a curious eyebrow, willing him to explain further.

 

"When was this?"

 

Chakotay released her from his hold, and took a small step back, silently assessing how much to reveal. Now he'd started, he realised nothing would satisfy except the truth. "A while before we met; aboard the Heritage, I became involved with the ship's first officer: Commander Marissa Grant. We were together for almost a year. She even made a note of the relationship in her official logs," he muttered that last part.

 

Kathryn's eyes danced with humour, wondering how she might have missed the reference. The truth was that she'd never studied her husband's Starfleet file in great detail. Maybe she should have…

 

"Are there others?" she playfully narrowed her eyes.

 

Chakotay just smiled. "Are we really sharing relationship histories? Because I might have a few questions for you…"

 

Kathryn looked like she was about to call him on his bluff, until she relented and glanced away. "Maybe we don't need to tell each other everything ."

 

Chakotay released a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. He always tried to be open with Kathryn, but there were some parts of his past he'd rather not share.

 

"All I was trying to say, is that I know how to handle a relationship with a rank differential," he said carefully. "I'm confident that we'll be able to keep our personal lives separate from our professional duties."

 

His words had the effect of softening her demeanour, but she still held back with a small amount of caution. "It's not a thing for you?" She asked cautiously. "Dating women in senior roles."

 

He let out a short laugh at the notion, but sobered when he saw she was serious. "No, it's not a 'thing'. But I've always been attracted to strong, beautiful, intelligent women; you should know that?"

 

"I should?"

 

He reached out to her. "Kathryn, when I first saw you, you were commanding a group of strangers at an art exhibit, where your portraits were the focus of the show. Then the fates aligned and we happened to be on command training together, and I found myself attracted to the smartest, most overachieving student on the course. And you seem surprised by my 'type'?"

 

Kathryn offered him a lopsided grin. "When you put it like that; it seems fairly obvious." She came back into his hold, looping arms around his neck. "What would you say my type is?"

 

Chakotay indulged her with a kiss. "Ruggedly handsome," he teased, pecking her lips once more. "Great sense of humour," he moved to nuzzle her neck. "Fantastic in bed."

 

"You got two out of three," her breath brushed against his ear as she brought her cheek to his.

 

"Which two?" He played along.

 

She brought her lips to his. "For the sake of your ego; I'll never tell."

 

Chakotay lifted her up into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist as he took her weight. "I have ways of making you come," he declared, carrying her quickly to the bedroom to celebrate her new position and what that would mean for the next phase of their relationship.

Chapter 7

The Gage

 

Kathryn studied her new uniform in the mirror. She had to admit, she quite liked the new turtleneck and jacket combination. Glancing at the reflection of the man entering the bedroom of their new shared quarters, she decided she quite enjoyed the look of the new uniform on Chakotay also.

 

Just as she began pinning her pips in place, he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle. Distracting from the delicate operation with kisses to the other side of her neck.

 

"If you keep doing that, I'm going to be late for my first shift on the bridge."

 

Chakotay doubled down on his efforts, a hand gliding up from her stomach to brush against her breast through the jacket. "I'm sure the first officer won't mind."

 

"Captain Freeman might," she insisted, stepping out of his hold and turning to glare at him.

 

He grinned.

 

"You're a terrible influence," she admonished, walking past him to the main living space.

 

He followed after her, "You're certainly more fun to influence than the previous XO."

 

Kathryn rolled her eyes.

 

Leaving their quarters, and heading for the bridge, Kathryn was quietly thankful that Chakotay kept his hands to himself in the turbolift. Usually she enjoyed his affections wherever they were, but she was nervous enough about her first day without his distractions.

 

"Commander Janeway, reporting to the bridge," she presented herself to the ship's captain.

 

Alonzo Freeman stood from his chair, his lips spreading into a wide smile as he greeted her. "It's a pleasure to have you onboard, Janeway," he said, and then with a knowing glance at his chief tactical officer added, "And good to have you back too, Chakotay."

 

"Good to be back, sir," Chakotay agreed as he took his station.

 

"How was the honeymoon?" he asked, with a knowing smile towards tactical.

 

"I brought back a souvenir, Captain. I hope you don't mind," Chakotay joked.

 

The bridge chuckled, but Kathryn could have throttled her husband; it was going to be difficult enough maintaining professional boundaries serving on the same ship together, without Chakotay's candour.

 

Freeman didn't seem to mind, a smile still present on his lips, as he turned back towards Kathryn and invited her to join him in his ready room.

 

She followed him across the deck to a side corridor which led to both their offices.

 

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked before the doors had even closed.

 

"A black coffee would be lovely," she admitted, and following the gesture of his hand, took up a seat on a couch by the port hole.

 

"How are you settling in?" he asked.

 

"I've just about unpacked."

 

Freeman carried two hot drinks over and sat beside her; she silently noticed his preference for tea.

 

"We were quite lucky to secure you in this post," Freeman said conversationally. "Chakotay has always spoken very highly of you, but I have to admit, I hadn't read your file until you were suggested for the role. Quite frankly I was impressed."

 

"Thank you," she said politely.

 

He took a sip of his tea. "I understand you applied to be my head of science, but the application was rejected before it even hit my desk."

 

"My background is in the science track; I thought I would enjoy returning…" she began to explain. 

 

He waved her explanation away, "I know the desire to find a posting together with a spouse. My wife Carol and I, have needed to make similar decisions over the years."

 

"I understand your wife was the ship's previous first officer," Kathryn entered cautiously, feeling out the boundaries with a new captain.

 

He smiled fondly over his cup of tea. "For the last two years," he said proudly. "As such, this crew is accustomed to serving with senior officers who are married. You and Chakotay will fit right in."

 

Kathryn relaxed a little. "I hope so. This will actually be our first time serving together."

 

Freeman raised a curious eyebrow. "You didn't meet aboard the same vessel?"

 

"No. We met on Earth," she said, remembering her sister's gallery opening, and their chance encounter. She decided against mentioning the one night stand which had transformed into a fling when they'd found themselves on the same command training course.

 

"Well, in that case I'm going to offer you some advice, Commander…" Kathryn braced herself. "Relax."

 

At the word she raised an eyebrow, as the man across from her let out a light chuckle.

 

"This is a family ship, Janeway," he said lightly, as he pointed to a photo on the side of a teenage girl and older woman. "My daughter lives aboard with me, along with nineteen other children and families. We perform our duties to the best standard, but this crew is a community, and we try to have some fun whilst we're working."

 

Kathryn's mind wandered back to her last posting on the Billings. The smaller research vessel barely had enough room for couples quarters, let alone children. Gage was a galaxy class vessel, with a crew complement of over a thousand. It would be somewhat an adjustment.

 

"Give me a few days to get my bearings, and I'll do what I can to… loosen up," she said, with a small smile.

 

Freeman placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. "See that you do," he agreed.

 

Sensing that Freeman was ready to dismiss her, she drained the last of her coffee and stood.

 

"And Janeway…" he said, before she could make for the exit. "Sometimes it's difficult to find the right balance between professional and personal interactions. The easiest thing is to over compensate, and be harder on those we're close to. But it's okay to have favourites, just as long as when it's crunch time, you have your priorities straight."

 

Kathryn hadn't thought about it that way before. It certainly gave her food for thought. She could see why Chakotay liked Freeman, and serving aboard the ship.

****

 

Weeks passed, and before they knew it, six months had gone by. Kathryn and Chakotay settled into a familiar routine aboard the Gage. It was difficult at first, to find the right balance, but when they found it, it felt like striking gold. Everything was so easy between them.

 

No longer did they need to worry about falling out of subspace range, or coordinating their next shore leave together. He was there at the end of every shift, cooking dinner whilst she finished reports. Off duty they shared holodeck time, and socialised with the crew. Chakotay's tight group of friends became hers, and the friends she made became his.

 

Kathryn thought she'd found contentment when she'd met Chakotay, but living together in space was another scale of wonderful.

 

Creeping into their quarters after a Beta shift, Kathryn quickly slipped out of her uniform, and climbed into bed beside her husband. He barely stirred in response to her presence, so she reached for him, smoothing her hands down his bare back and spooning up behind him.

 

Lifting onto an elbow, she raised up just enough to press her lips to the side of his neck, then his jaw line, before moving onto his shoulder. She grazed the flesh with her teeth. That got his attention . She heard a quiet grumble from him, but he remained insistently asleep.

 

Kathryn slipped her hand down, beneath the covers, grabbing his hip, before reaching for his ass.

 

"Kathryn…" he gave a sleepy complaint.

 

"I'll do all the work," she whispered against his cheek, her hand drifting around to find his manhood.

 

"I thought you might have been satisfied from this evening's- ah," he let out a shuddery breath as her palm moulded around his growing erection.

 

"I can never have enough of you," she insisted.

 

Chakotay rolled onto his back, seemingly happy to encourage her gentle strokes.

 

With her husband now ready and in position, she swung a leg around his torso, and moved to straddle him. With hands braced on his smooth, broad chest, she leant down to kiss him, her hair falling to tickle his cheeks.

 

Needing the friction, she rotated her hips, rubbing the edge of her clit along his shaft. Chakotay let out an agreeable sound, so she sat up a little more, and reached around to take his penis in her hand, to guide it to her entrance.

 

Sensing what she was about to do, Chakotay grabbed hold of her hips to still her advance. Kathryn looked down and met his gaze with a questioning smile.

 

"Do you need me to help get you ready?" he asked, explaining his hesitation.

 

She offered him a knowing grin. "No, I'm ready for you," she breathed, as she encouraged his hands to relax and took back control of their movements. 

 

She'd known she was wet, but it wasn't until his tip began to part her folds that she realised exactly how ready she was. In a single, slow motion, she had engulfed his entire shaft within her vagina. They both let out satisfied grunts at the welcome feeling of their joining.

 

Kathryn waited only a moment before she began to move against him. Lifting herself up and down, impaling herself repeatedly on his hard dick.

 

They built up slowly, neither in any rush, knowing that the reward would be even greater with some patience. The room filled with only the sounds of their staggered breathing, and the wet friction of their joining.

 

It was Chakotay who called out first, a gentle warning that he wouldn't last much longer. In response, Kathryn increased her speed and the pressure to her clitoris, until they were both fighting back orgasms.

 

They came simultaneously, in a sudden swirl of ecstacy. His ejectulation timed with the fluttering of her vaginal walls.

 

"Spirits, Kathryn," he said breathlessly as she collapsed against him, "You can wake me up for that anytime."

 

Curling against his side, she slipped an arm around his middle, smiling triumphantly to herself through the darkness.

 

The dynamic between them had been everything she'd hoped for, and more. The sex especially. Serving with Chakotay had proved an experimental success, and laid the foundations for what she hoped would follow.

 

"What if you were woken in the night for other reasons?" she probed tentatively.

 

She could almost feel his frown. "What other reasons do you have in mind?"

 

Kathryn lifted herself up a little, so that they were face to face. She wanted to gauge his reaction to the proposal she had been mulling over for weeks. "I wondered if you might like to try for a baby?"

 

Chakotay's jaw dropped, and she realised she had caught him completely unawares. Had she really edged so far around the idea that it should come as a complete shock to him?

 

"A baby?" he repeated carefully.

 

Suddenly Kathryn doubted herself; doubted his intentions within this marriage. "Only if it's something you want," she quickly offered him an out, "If you're ready?"

 

Chakotay reached up and affectionately cupped her face in his palm. The small smile which curved at his lips was the first giveaway that this was something he might be agreeable to. "Of course it's something I want," his grin deepened to reveal two gorgeous dimples, "I'd love to have a baby with you."

 

In a single swift motion, Chakotay rolled them over, so that he was on top, braced above her on two forearms. He leant down for a long languid kiss, before pulling back to smile at her again.

 

"Are you sure?" he asked.

 

Kathryn nodded earnestly. "Yes, I'm sure," she assured him, having never been so certain of anyone or anything in her life.

Chapter 8

Five months later

 

The first wedding anniversary  

 

Chakotay entered his quarters to find the lights low and his wife flung back on the sofa, boots kicked to the floor, and a glass of red wine in her hand. One glance at the half finished bottle on the table and he knew it wasn't her first drink.

 

He opened his mouth to ask what was going, but she beat him to it.

 

"I'm not pregnant."

 

"Ah," he immediately understood. 

 

It had been five months since they'd asked the doctor to deactivate their contraceptive inhibitors, and whilst they had started off with hope and enthusiasm, each month where it didn't happen became increasingly disappointing. Especially for a woman who wasn't used to waiting for anything.

 

"We can try again next month," he offered up.

 

She let out a huff of air, preferring to take another long swig of wine than to articulate a response.

 

Chakotay joined her on the couch, taking her legs and resting them across his lap.

 

"Do you think we should ask the doctor to help?" she put forward the suggestion.

 

"We could," he softly agreed, not unopposed to the idea, "But I think our issue is probably more about lack of opportunity. It's a small window, and I seem to remember last month we were at red alert for three days, playing cat and mouse with a Cardassian freighter. You and Freeman were on an away mission the time before…"

 

"I get your point," she said, taking a forearm across her face as she tilted her head back into the couch cushions.

 

"It will happen," he assured her, with a light tap to her thigh. "Let's give it a few more months to do it on our own terms."

 

"Okay," she agreed, and with a heavy sigh, she raised her head back up to meet his gaze. "But during my next cycle, I'm blocking out both our diaries for however many days it takes."

 

Chakotay grinned at the thought of endless hours of sex together. Although times like this were frustrating, the attempts were very enjoyable.

 

"You know, we could get some more practice in now," he said suggestively, running a hand up from her calf to thigh.

 

Kathryn groaned, "I'm menstruating," she warned him.

 

Chakotay began to lower his face to hers. "I don't mind," he insisted, not for the first time.

 

One consequence of trying to conceive a baby naturally meant that Kathryn now bled regularly every month. Although it wasn't bothersome to him, he knew she was self conscious about it. 

 

She accepted his kiss, but at the feel of a hand on his chest, he withdrew a little. "I'm really not in the mood," she told him.

 

"Okay," he said acceptingly, moving his hand to a safer position on her midriff and easing the intensity of his next kiss. As an idea occurred to him, he slowly withdrew. "Can I run you a bath?" he asked.

 

Kathryn smiled gently, "A bath sounds perfect. Thank you."

 

Chakotay climbed from the couch and headed for the bathroom, instructing the computer to fill the bathtub to the desired temperature. He picked out some salts, bubbles, and then lit candles all around the edge. When everything was ready, he returned for Kathryn, tugging her gently by the hand to join him.

 

At seeing the effort he had made with candles, she let out a satisfied sigh. From behind, he looped his arms around her waist and kissed the side of her temple.

 

"Are you going to join me?" she asked invitingly.

 

"I'd love to," he replied, lowering his lips to the sensitive spot behind her ear.

 

Another welcome sigh from the woman in his arms, before she turned to face him and began work on removing his jacket. He mirrored her actions, peeling away layers of uniform, until they were both completely naked before one another.

 

Chakotay trailed a hand from her neck, to her breast, and then down her side, coming to rest on her hip. Meanwhile his lips made a similar exploration from her shoulder to collar bone. He could happily pass an entire night doing nothing more than kiss and touch her, silently marking every inch of her soft ivory skin.

 

Kathryn broke away from his hold, and took a hand in hers as she led him to the bath. They slipped into the warm water together, taking up a familiar position, with his back rested against the side and her sitting between his legs, rested against his chest.

 

"I heard Mariner gave you a run for your money earlier today," she made light conversation, referencing an incident involving Freeman's teenage daughter. Mariner had activated an unauthorised holodeck program, containing a computer virus which had caused a security blackout.

 

Chakotay grinned, "I'm certainly getting lots of experience dealing with teenagers," he gently teased.

 

Kathryn let out a short laugh. "You're good with her; she respects you."

 

"I see a lot of myself in her at that age," he said softly. "Rebel without a cause."

 

His wife tilted her head up and feigned an incredulous look. "You? Rebellious in your youth?"

 

He scooped up some bubbles and placed them on her nose. "Better believe it."

 

Twisting around a little further, she pulled him down for a brief kiss, before sinking back into his embrace within the warm water. "I don't know how the Freemans do it; balance their careers whilst raising a daughter."

 

"You should have seen when they shared a command together," he said. "It was a fascinating dynamic to observe."

 

"Did they ever allow personal disagreements to come onto the bridge?" she asked curiously.

 

Chakotay thought for a moment, to the rare occasions he'd observed them in conflict with one another. "Not when it mattered," he admitted. "I once got asked to settle a dispute on vacation destinations…" he watched his wife raise an eyebrow, but didn't feel the need to explain. "But they worked as well as any good command team I've seen."

 

"Hmmm," she said thoughtfully in response.

 

"You're wondering if we could ever command a ship together?" he felt like he could read her mind.

 

"I'm wondering if it would be easier serving above or below you," she corrected.

 

Chakotay reached for a sponge on the side and dipped into the warm water. "You'll make captain long before I do," he stated as if it was a matter of fact.

 

"You're assuming I'd accept a promotion," she said, and then let out a sigh when he pressed the warm wet sponge to her shoulder, running it down into the water and along her arm.

 

"I think you'll enjoy being in charge," he speculated, moving the sponge to her other side. "Able to determine your own missions and objectives. Develop your team and negotiate first contacts."

 

"I do most of those things already," she pointed out.

 

"Freeman is very hands off with all his senior officers," he agreed. "I'm given almost free reign of security. He's a good captain; as I know you'll be one day."

 

The sponge in his hand moved delicately along her thigh, soothing away any aches from a long day on her feet.

 

"Chakotay?" she asked, and he noted the smallest hesitation in her voice.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Do you think I'll be any good as a mother?"

 

He smiled to himself. Of course he thought she would be an amazing mother. However he knew his answer would require some justification in order for her to believe it. "You're patient, smart and kind," he told her simply, "Those qualities serve you well in any capacity, but with children, especially so. You're also very determined; you excel at everything you put your mind to."

 

She sank back a little further against him. "I can't wait to make you a father," she said earnestly, as if it was the simplest thing in the world to her.

 

It was also both the sweetest and sexiest thing a woman had ever said to him. There was something both primal and intimate about her willingness to swell with his child. His heart overflowed with love and affection for her and for the future they were creating together.

****

 

Three months later.

 

“How's married life treating you?” 

 

Chakotay's head whipped around sharply at the sound of a familiar but unwelcome voice.

 

Luthur Sloan stood on the deck of Deep Space Five's main concourse, arms folded neatly behind his back, and a shrewd look on his face.

 

“Good, thank you,” Chakotay took a casual look around them to see if Sloan had company. No one was paying them any attention at least. The other visitors to the station moved obliviously around them. “What are you doing here, Sloan?”

 

“I understand the Gage is about to head close to the neutral zone, and I need some intel on Cardassian ship movements.”

 

“We're on an exploratory expedition,” Chakotay brushed him off.

 

“A perfect cover.”

 

“It's not a cover,” he stated flatly.

 

Sloan narrowed his eyes. “There are a couple of ships which are of particular interest to Starfleet Intelligence. The Gage will be carrying out passive scans of the area, I just need you to make a few minor modifications to sensors-”

 

“Why me?” Chakotay quickly interrupted, wanting to get right to the point.

 

“You're head of tactical. You're in the best position to assist.”

 

“I'm not interested,” he declared at last, deciding he'd indulged Sloan for long enough. “Find someone else.”

 

Chakotay turned and began walking away.

 

“She's still not pregnant, is she?”

 

Chakotay stopped immediately in his tracks and turned slowly to face Sloan again.

 

“I beg your pardon?”

 

Sloan looked him dead in the eye. “You've been trying for eight months now, and it's still not happening.”

 

Before jumping to any conclusions, Chakotay studied the other man carefully. “What are you trying to say?”

 

“You know as well as I do that you and Kathryn were never meant to meet when you did.”

 

Chakotay glanced around to make sure that no one from his crew was within sight, before he grabbed the intelligence officer by the front of his uniform and shoved him to a quiet communication hub to one side.

 

“What the hell is it that you think you know, Sloan?”

 

“I know that this version of you was meant to die in that quantum rift. The other version of you doesn't meet Janeway for another four years in the Delta Quadrant . What's happening here isn't a timeline which should exist. And yet, here we are, talking about it.”

 

It was Chakotay's every fear about what happened, confirmed. “Why does that matter to you?”

 

Sloan held up his hands defensively. “I couldn't care less,” he answered, “But there are some individuals who are determined to ensure Janeway's course is unaffected by your premature presence in her life.”

 

“And who are ‘they’?”

 

“Interested parties,” Sloan replied cryptically.

 

“Have they done something to her?” he clenched his fists, ready to take on a fight with anyone who would threaten his wife.

 

“Not to her, no.”

 

Chakotay's eyes widened at the implication. Something had been done to him .

 

Sloan pursed his lips, and reached into his pocket and retrieved a small tricorder. “There's an implant in your left hip. This device has been pre-set to detect it. I suggest that you don't involve anyone else with its removal.”

 

Chakotay stared down at the modified tricorder for a long minute before he finally decided to take it.

 

“Work with me Chakotay, and I can help you,” Sloan gently pleaded. “I've also left instructions for the sensor modifications on there. I trust you'll do the right thing; choose the right side.”

 

Before he could ask any further questions, Sloan quickly stepped away, and disappeared into the dense crowd. Chakotay tried to follow after him, but whichever direction he looked, Sloan was gone.

-

 

It wasn't until several days later that Chakotay finally found the courage to run a scan in the location Sloan had suggested. A standard tricorder missed it, but the equipment provided from Sloan easily detected a small metal pellet just above his hip bone.

 

A shot of local anaesthetic and a surgical knife served their purpose well as he cut into the dermal layer and located the contraceptive inhibitor. He'd seen the doctor deactivate a similar one months ago. He couldn't be sure if this had been added after, or existed for some time before.

 

Either way, someone had betrayed him, and suddenly Chakotay didn't know who to trust anymore. Not the doctor, not his captain, possibly no one within Starfleet.

 

Chakotay found himself growing paranoid. Constantly checking over his shoulder for who might be watching him. Who might be trying to interfere with his and Kathryn's future.

 

He didn't dare tell Kathryn. She would overreact. Go in all guns blazing. Storm into Starfleet headquarters and demand answers. It would cause quite a stir, and potentially scare whoever was involved into taking more drastic action.

 

So Chakotay decided to play it carefully. He adjusted the sensors on Gage as requested and kept a careful watch. Eventually someone would reveal themselves, and when that happened, he would be ready, waiting for them.

Chapter 9

Notes:

I've added some additional tags to this. The next chapter will have a trigger warning. I started writing smut and as the plot evolved, so did some heavier topics. I understand that this isn't for everyone, but for those who continue on this adventure, rest assured, there will be a happy ending for our protagonists.

2 months later

 

Christmas

 

Chakotay woke to the feel of soft hands caressing his torso, travelling down his abdomen and then sliding around his butt. His seductress gave a gentle squeeze of his glutes before lowering to his thigh. He felt her warm open mouthed kisses on the back of his neck, shoulder blades and biceps.

 

He let out a welcome murmur, encouraging her to continue, which she accepted as permission to take his growing erection in her palm. His breath hitched, and staggered as she began to slide her fingers from tip to base, alternating between loose strokes and tight grips.

 

Kathryn had been insatiable recently. Over the last couple weeks especially so, as the Gage had travelled back to Earth for shore leave. With no missions or objectives, his wife had found herself at a loose end, and Chakotay found himself the focus of her attentions. Not that he was complaining of course. The devil makes work for idle hands. And none more so than Kathryn's.

 

She was spooned up closely behind him, one delicate leg anchored over his thigh, grinding her pelvis against his hip; searching for friction. Meanwhile her thumb was spreading his precum over the tip of his penis. The kisses to his shoulder had transformed from gentle nips, to open bites of his flesh.

 

It was about as much as he could take.

 

Chakotay twisted around, and in an instant he had her body pinned beneath his, with her hands held above her head. "Dammit, Kathryn," he growled.

 

She simply grinned up at him. "Good morning," her voice was all sweet and innocent, but her eyes were anything but. They bore into his, daring, challenging and pleading with him to follow his baser instincts.

 

Swooping down he captured her lips with his, slipping his tongue into her mouth, and refusing to break apart until they were both breathless. She undulated her hips beneath him, desperate for more. He wasn't in any position to deny her.

 

They were already naked following the previous night's intimacies, so he shifted his pelvis and lined up with her centre. The tip of his shaft found her opening, and nudged at the entrance. She was already wet and ready for him.

 

"Fuck," he gritted out in response, to the feel of her juices easily coating him as he pushed a little further inside.

 

"That's what I had in mind," she tilted her hips to the optimum angle for his penetration.

 

"You're so wet," he breathed, eyes widening with wonder. She smiled as if it was nothing, but as he eased inside without any friction or resistance, he knew it was something more than that.

 

"Are you ovulating?" he asked, determined to understand the sensation.

 

Kathryn lifted her head from the pillow to peck his lips. "I've stopped keeping track," she admitted, which he quickly wrote off as a good thing, because the tracking of her cycle had been driving them both mad.

 

Chakotay suppressed the guilty thought that she didn't know how futile their attempts had been until more recently. He hadn't told her about the visit from Sloan or the device he'd found embedded under his skin. That someone was interfering with their relationship.

 

He told himself that it wouldn't matter if they could get pregnant quickly enough.

 

“Chakotay?”

 

A concerned look from Kathryn, and he remembered himself. He pushed his hips forward, but she wasn't letting it go.

 

“It looked like you were miles away. Where did you go?”

 

He forced a smile, “I'm right here, with you,” he assured her, and before she could challenge him, he changed the angle of his next thrust. At the welcome pressure against her clit, she arched back with delight as a moan escaped her mouth.

 

"I'll get you pregnant," he promised, meeting her gaze.

 

He expected her to smile and assure him there was no rush, but instead her brow furrowed and her expression became more serious. He opened his mouth to question her train of thought, but she spoke first.

 

"Let's just enjoy each other, okay?"

 

Chakotay felt like there was more to say. Something was also going on in her mind that she wasn't sharing, but at the shift of her hips, and the feel of her sliding up and down his shaft, he lost all other train of thought.

 

With her wrists still gripped on the pillow above her head, he pumped into her. Slowly at first, but with the amount of liquid between her legs, he soon picked up the pace, gliding effortlessly along her slick folds.

 

She fought to move her hands to touch him, but he held her in place. Maintaining control. Determining the speed and pace of their joining. Dominating above her.

 

"You're mine ," he breathed against her neck.

 

His wife acquiesced with a kiss. A sweeping and passionate kiss which took his breath away. The sudden loss of oxygen to his body and the sensation of her fluttering around him as she began to orgasm took him over the edge. Ribbons of his seed fired into her body, and he continued small sharp thrusts until he was completely spent.

 

Chakotay released her hands, but remained on top, his weight supported by his elbows as he continued to kiss his wife. Her arms wrapped around his neck, holding him close.

 

They remained cuddled together for a while after. Long after his cock had gone flaccid and slipped out. He rolled them onto their sides, their legs entwined, hooking them together, as if they were a singular entity.

 

"We should probably get up," she finally grumbled against his chest.

 

He smoothed back her hair as they began to draw away from one another. "Shower?"

 

Kathryn offered him a soft smile, effortlessly gliding off the mattress, and then holding her hand out as an invitation for him to join her.

 

The shower was instantly at temperature. As they stepped into the warm flow of water, Chakotay had her in his arms again, tilting her head up to kiss her. Her lips, her body, her touch, was all it took for him to begin growing hard again.

 

Breaking away to look up at him, she raised a questioning eyebrow. "We'll be late," she warned, but there was no resistance in her tone, only a suggestion that he would need to come up with the excuse for her mother this time.

 

He smiled, but despite his body's response, he had a more pressing agenda. Instead of making the advance she half expected, he cradled her cheek tenderly in his palm, and waited until he had her full attention.

 

"I'm sorry it hasn't happened for us yet," he told her, "It will. We just need to give it time."

 

Her eyes flickered away from his, and suddenly he knew with absolute certainty that something was going on. A panic rose up in his chest. Had she somehow figured it out? His visits from Sloan, the inhibitor, the subtle assistance he'd been providing to Section 31… He'd been so careful passing on the latest sensor data, but what if she'd discovered it?

 

Kathryn placed a hand to his chest, and he could tell she was gathering herself. "I was thinking maybe we should pause for a while."

 

Chakotay stilled, "What's going on Kathryn?" he asked carefully, unwilling to allow his sudden concerns to rise to the surface.

 

She looked away.

 

His heart faltered.

 

"Let's talk about it after we get back from my mother's."

 

Like hell he was going to wait. "No. I want us to talk about this now."

 

Her eyes snapped back to his. "It's about to become complicated…"

 

"Complicated?"

 

"You're going to be offered a promotion," she said quickly. "A first officer posting aboard the USS Asimov."

 

His jaw hung. That's the last thing he was expecting her to tell him. "How do you know that?"

 

She shrugged, "I see all crew requests come through."

 

Ah. "When did you find out?"

 

"Shortly before we disembarked yesterday. Freeman just needs to approve it, which he will, and then you'll be made the offer formally."

 

To say he was surprised at the impending offer, would have been a lie. He'd been expecting something for some time. Had subtly batted away a few other feelers from Starfleet command. Given his training and skill, this was a long time coming. Despite this, he felt completely thrown and unprepared knowing the inevitability of the promotion. He wasn't ready to be separated from his wife for a prolonged duration.

 

"If it's not right for us, I won't accept it," he told her firmly.

 

Kathryn shot him a look.

 

"What is it?"

 

"I think you should accept the promotion."

 

He gave her an incredulous look, and knowing that they were heading for a disagreement, Kathryn pushed past him and left the shower.

 

"I think that's up for me to decide," he told her.

 

"Alonzo and I have discussed it at length, and we think it's time." She grabbed a towel and began to dry off.

 

Chakotay could have laughed at the ridiculous notion that his wife would be discussing his career with their captain. For a moment the fact that she was the XO, and would have the entire crew's development in mind, completely evaded him.

 

"I'm glad that you and Freeman decided to cut me in on this decision," he snapped sarcastically, shutting off the shower and reaching for his own towel.

 

"Chakotay, I'm not suggesting this as your wife, but as you're commanding officer; it's the right career move. You're overqualified as head of tactical, and I can see you're itching to do more."

 

He followed after her as she headed back to the bedroom and began getting dressed.

 

"What about starting a family?" he demanded.

 

"That can wait," she insisted, pulling on underwear.

 

"What if I don't want to wait?" he snapped, without thinking through what he was saying.

 

Kathryn stopped still and glanced up at him, her expression cautious. He'd never pushed her before on his desire to start a family. Had always insisted it was her choice, that he would support her either way. This was the first time he'd given any indication otherwise.

 

"We should get ready to leave for Indiana," she said quietly, pulling on black pants and a sweater before heading for the living area.

 

Chakotay's eyes tracked after her, but he didn't make any move to follow. He was too caught up in a variety of emotions which he couldn't yet put name to.

****

 

Kathryn took note of how quiet Chakotay was for the duration of the shuttle ride to her mother's house. They had silently agreed to put the conversation on hold; to enjoy the next few days and discuss their future at a more opportune time. Or so she thought.

 

The wind was brewing up a blizzard as they arrived at the old Janeway farmhouse on the outskirts of Bloomington. Snow had fallen earlier that morning, leaving a fresh powdery layer behind. Theirs were some of the first footsteps on the driveway as they stepped out of the vehicle.

 

Chakotay automatically reached for her bag, and lifted their luggage from the shuttle. It was such a subtle and benign act, but it reminded Kathryn of how much she had come to depend on him over this last year and a half. How much they had come to depend on each other. 

 

Although privately the thought of being separated from him again was unnerving, she had to forcibly remind herself that it was the right next step for his career. Even though he might not see it that way yet.

 

Phoebe was at the front door waiting to greet them, "Merry Christmas," she chimed cheerily, ushering them inside

 

“Merry Christmas,” Chakotay's reply was a little gruff.

 

Noticing this, Phoebe shot her sister a sharp look, but Kathryn merely shrugged in response. She wasn't going to get into it now.

 

Whilst Chakotay made his way upstairs to deposit their bags, Kathryn followed Phoebe to the kitchen where they found Sekaya, who had arrived earlier and was busy preparing lunch. 

 

Since Sekaya had decided to settle on Earth, she had become a regular guest at the Janeway home. Their two sisters had formed a fast friendship, and Gretchen had absorbed Sekaya into their extended family.

 

Kathryn and Chakotay quietly teased between themselves that there might be more to their sisters’ friendship, but there was little evidence to support it. Which was possibly just as well; the thought of double first cousins felt unnecessarily complicated.

 

Placing a kiss on Sekaya's cheek, Kathryn pulled back a little. "Thank you for joining us."

 

Sekaya grinned. "I'm not sure I had much of a choice. Your mother came over to personally escort me to Indiana."

 

That sounded like Gretchen, determined that no lost lamb should be left outside in the cold, especially over the holidays. "Speaking of. Where is my mother?" Kathryn turned to her sister, finally noticing the older woman's absence.

 

"In town getting some last minute supplies. I think she ran out of cranberry sauce.” Phoebe replied.

 

"Coffee?" Sekaya interjected.

 

"Coffee would be lovely," Kathryn agreed, suddenly realising she'd missed her morning cup in their haste to leave the apartment.

 

The three women made easy conversation as the coffee brewed. Phoebe spoke about her latest art project, and Sekaya caught her up on her work at the hospital. When Chakotay eventually joined them, he took up a discrete spot in the corner and listened passively as Kathryn offered up tidbits from their last mission.

 

Sekaya handed Kathryn a mug of coffee, but the moment the pungent fragrance hit Kathryn's nose, she grimaced.

 

Immediately picking up on her reaction, Sekaya frowned. "Is it okay?"

 

Kathryn frowned, unsure of the reaction herself. "It's just been a while since I had the real thing," she reassured her sister-in-law. "In space, I practically live on replicated coffee."

 

She took a sip to prove her point, and smiled, despite the acidic taste which clenched the back of her throat. Sekaya looked reassured, but out of the corner of her eye, Kathryn noticed Chakotay watching her pensively. She decided not to acknowledge his attention.

-

 

Gretchen returned from town later that morning and suddenly Chakotay was outnumbered four women to one in the house. If he noticed, he didn't show it, he was more than comfortable in their company, spending much of his time in the kitchen with Gretchen as they began prepping for the evening meal.

 

When Sekaya disappeared to make a work call, and they were left alone, Phoebe finally quizzed her. “Chakotay seems awfully quiet this afternoon,” her sister noted.

 

Kathryn considered ignoring the observation, but that didn't feel quite right. Her sister was only expressing some concern. “We had a fight before we left the apartment earlier,” she admitted.

 

Phoebe's eyes widened. “You two never fight.”

 

Kathryn scoffed. “Oh, we do fight,” she corrected, then she felt her eyes glaze over a little. “But we don't often leave it unresolved for long.”

 

“What are you trying to resolve?”

 

She considered withholding from her sister. It was a private matter after all. But if she couldn't confide in Phoebe, then who else was she going to talk to?

 

“Chakotay wants to start a family, but he's been offered a promotion, which I think he should take instead.”

 

“Oh,” Phoebe said simply, but immediately catching on. “He doesn't want to take the promotion, does he? He doesn't want to wait?”

 

“No.”

 

“But you do?”

 

Kathryn glanced away.

 

Phoebe pursed her lips. “What else is going on Kathryn?”

 

“We've been trying,” Kathryn finally admitted, but the confession came with an emotional surge she hadn't been expecting. A sudden sadness tore through her at the continued frustration and disappointment each month. She suppressed the unwelcome feeling. 

 

“For how long?”

 

“Almost a year. It hasn't happened for us though.”

 

“I'm sorry,” Phoebe reached out and took her hand.

 

Kathryn offered up a tight smile. “It's probably just as well; it might make more sense to wait until our careers have settled down a little more.”

 

Phoebe raised a sudden eyebrow. “Until when? You're both admirals?”

 

Kathryn rolled her eyes at the discordant joke. “No. Just a few moe years.”

 

Phoebe was watching her carefully.

 

“What?”

 

“You can't handle failure, Kathryn. You never have. I think you see this as a challenge you can't win, so you're bypassing the rules and coming up with a new solution: deliberately delay.”

 

She glanced away. The insight was cutting, and painfully true, even if she hadn't realised that's what she was doing until this moment. “I-” she started to say something but quickly broke off, unsure she could explain it when she barely understood it herself.

 

Before Kathryn could attempt a response however, Gretchen appeared in the doorway and summoned them for dinner.

 

The two sisters quickly abandoned the conversation, but a small squeeze of Phoebe's hand on hers was all she needed to hear: I support you. I know you. I love you.

-

 

Later that evening as she settled into the bed of her childhood room, Kathryn found herself under the intense scrutiny of two dark brown eyes. She looked up, and found Chakotay standing against the wall, arms folded, face drawn into a quizzical expression.

 

She raised an eyebrow, as if to ask what was on his mind.

 

"Is there any chance you might already be pregnant, Kathryn?" he asked softly.

 

"What? No," she said quickly, ignoring the flutter in her belly that the thought provoked.

 

He looked unconvinced.

 

She reached out a hand for him, unwilling to allow either of their hopes to be falsely raised. Chakotay stepped forward, taking a seat on the mattress beside her. "I had a bleed last week," she explained, trying not to allow the disappointment show in her voice or expression. "Which is probably for the best…”

 

“You're having second thoughts,” he assumed.

 

Now was the time to admit the toll their lack of progress was taking on her. She redirected with a very different excuse. “Your offer for promotion made me realise how much you've already given up for us to be together. You would have made first officer by now if it wasn't for our relationship; I'm holding you back.”

 

Chakotay offered her an earnest look. “I don't see it that way,” he said with incredible gentleness. “I see my future with you. I want to be at your side indefinitely, and I would like to have children with you someday. If that's something you still want?”

 

She glanced away, and the way he stiffened in response she knew he was assuming the worst. That she had changed her mind. But the truth was so much more complex; she wanted a family with him, desperately so, but she wasn't sure she could handle the disappointment any longer. It was much easier to hide behind another excuse.

 

She opened her mouth, but whether it was to confirm or deny his speculations, she stopped when he raised a palm to stall her next words. 

 

“Wait a second,” he said, climbing from the mattress and crossing the room to fetch something from his bag. 

 

Kathryn watched on as he pulled out a tricorder. She shot him a confused look, so he explained himself. “Before we debate this and make any decisions, let's just be sure exactly what we're trying to decide.”

 

“Chakotay, I'm not-”

 

“Indulge me,” he insisted.

 

Kathryn rolled her eyes but sat back, waiting expectantly for him to run a scan, assured he wouldn't find anything. It was over quick enough, and when he didn't say anything after, she shot him a satisfied look. “See,” she insisted.

 

Chakotay's eyes snapped quickly back to hers. “Kathryn, you're pregnant.”

 

With disbelief, she quickly reached forward and took the device from him, examining the results for herself. Chakotay watched on silently as she absorbed the information. A human foetus, three weeks gestation.

 

Oh.

 

After almost a year of trying, a positive result was suddenly anti-climatic. She wasn't sure how to feel. Happy. Relieved. Terrified. Kathryn was suddenly so confused. Having spent the last few days writing off the possibility, convincing herself it wasn't right for them anyway, to discover that the decision had been made for them was suddenly overwhelming.

 

She glanced across at her husband who held a guarded expression. Waiting on her reaction to decide his own.

 

“I thought…” she stammered. “I was a little lighter this month, but I was so sure… I was so upset… and then your promotion letter came through, and I was relieved, because I thought it might finally be over. That I didn't need to be disappointed again.”

 

Overwhelmed with emotion, Kathryn suddenly broke down into tears. She felt Chakotay's strong arms come around her, holding her safe and secure in his embrace. 

 

“I love you,” he whispered into her hair, gripping her tighter still when the tears continued to fall.

 

When she eventually pulled back, she saw not only tears but fear in his own eyes. Fear that she'd put there.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked at last.

 

“We're pregnant,” she said simply, hoping saying it out loud would help absorb the information. Make it more real. It helped a little. Chakotay looked no less concerned though.

 

“If you don't want this anymore, I'll understand,” he said softly, patiently. “If you want to wait. I can do that. I'll do whatever you want, Kathryn.”

 

She gave his forearm a squeeze, “Just give me a moment,” she took a breath, “I'm still trying to process.”

 

“There’s no rush.”

 

Kathryn covered her mouth when another sob escaped. Chakotay tried to reach for her again, but she held him off with a raised palm. He looked so worried.

 

“I think these are happy tears,” she said at last.

 

Chakotay's brow furrowed. “Happy tears?”

 

Kathryn smiled through the next emotional outburst, crying and laughing simultaneously. “I think so…”

 

She finally permitted him to hold her again. This time he took the opportunity to lay them both down onto the mattress, as they held each other, and took a moment to absorb the news.

 

“Were you serious about declining the promotion?” Kathryn asked, face buried into his chest.

 

“Absolutely,” he replied confidently.

 

“Thank god,” she sighed, shifting to look at him, “Because I don't think I can do this by myself.”

 

Chakotay tilted his head to meet her gaze. “What are you saying?”

 

“I'm saying that we're having a baby.”

 

The biggest smile lit up his face, as he tightened his hold around her and bent down to press his lips to hers. They were having a baby.

Chapter 10

Notes:

Trigger warning for pregnancy loss in this chapter. I do promise things work out, but not before some more challenges.

Two months later

 

Chakotay caught his wife standing naked before the mirror in the bedroom of their quarters, one hand marvelling over the slight swell of her abdomen. They hadn't yet told anyone outside the family about the pregnancy, but it wouldn't be long until it was obvious. For now, it was their happy little secret onboard Gage.

 

“You're so beautiful,” he breathed, when her eyes flickered to meet his through the reflection.

 

“Tell me that in another five months,” she quipped.

 

He grinned, “Everyday,” he promised, closing the gap between them and looping his arms around her middle. Both palms came to rest on the rise of her belly as he took a moment to cherish the life she was growing inside.

 

Turning down a promotion had been an easy decision, especially knowing that they had this to look forward to. But it was a guilty sigh of relief which left his chest. Although he was grateful that it had happened when it did, he felt terrible not disclosing the reason it had taken so long.

 

Kathryn's frustration had been making way for doubt, which brought him to the verge of telling her about the implant more than once. But that would also mean telling her about Sloan, section 31, and possibly breaking part of the temporal prime directive… assuming that it even applied when the future was an alternate reality. His head hurt to think about it.

 

All's well that ends well . He reminded himself of an ancient Shakespearean quote. Forced himself to believe it.

 

“What are you thinking about?”

 

Kathryn's question threw him, he'd been so lost in thought that his mind had left the room for a moment. He forced a smile. “I'm wondering how long we have until we need to be on duty.”

 

She twisted in his hold and took her arms around his neck. “Probably not long enough…”

 

He took his lips to her bare shoulder, and she let out a sigh at the delightful contact. “It's a shame we don't know anyone who could fix the shift schedules…” he teased, manoeuvring them so that her back was up against the wardrobe door. Knowing how best to distract her, he reached down between her legs and brushed a finger across her labia, ghosting over her clit.

 

A whimper escaped Kathryn’s mouth, as she hooked a leg up around his thigh and encouraged him to continue.

 

“I thought we didn't have enough time,” he teased her, even as his middle finger slipped inside her folds, and made another pass over her most sensitive bud.

 

“Computer,” she called out quickly, stifling a gasp as he dipped the same finger into her opening to collect some moisture. “Schedule a meeting between the first officer and chief of security for the next half hour.”

 

The ship's computer bleeped with compliance.

 

“Only half an hour?” he muttered against her neck.

 

“Ahhh,” she cried out as he spread her juices back over her folds. “How long do you need?”

 

He grinned, but didn't answer with words, merely adjusted the angle of his finger to temporarily apply a little more pressure. She rolled her head back, and undulated her hips in response to his touch, gripping both his shoulders for support.

 

It was easy to work her up. Her body was so sensitive, and he knew it well. He loved to watch her face as each wave of pleasure passed through her, as her body hummed in response to his touch.

 

“Oh God, Chakotay. I want you to fill me,” she said, reaching for the clasp of his uniform pants, making her intentions clear.

 

“Later,” he promised, gently pushing her hands away. “Tonight, when we have more time.”

 

A sharp breath escaped her lips as an electric jolt shot up through her core. “No. I want you now.”

 

He grinned, smothering a chuckle into her neck. “Always so impatient, my love.”

 

He didn't need to see her face to know she had shot him a glare. But whatever argument she might have been preparing to make, died on her lips as the urgency of an orgasm began to take hold. He chased it down with her, allowing her to ride his fingers, but holding back just enough to draw out the sensation for her.

 

When he knew she could take no more, he overwhelmed her with faster movements from his wrist, culminating with a tight push into her folds.

 

She cried out his name, along with a couple of profanities, as she climaxed against his finger tips.

 

“Good?” he asked, knowingly.

 

Kathryn swallowed hard as she struggled to regain her breath. “You're too good at that,” she finally commented.

 

Chakotay laughed, but didn't move away, knowing that his hold was the only thing stopping her gelatinous body from collapsing to the floor. “I'll do it again this evening, if you like?”

 

She smiled. “I'll definitely want more of you later.”

 

He allowed himself a small smug grin. “Whatever you want,” he promised, offering her a sweet gentle kiss. “We need to get as much time together as possible before the baby arrives.”

 

Kathryn made an agreeable sound, allowing him another indulgent kiss.

 

“I'm not looking forward to the sleepless nights though,” she quipped.

 

“Me neither,” he said, carefully pulling away, to ensure she could stand without support, “But I'm looking forward to everything else.”

 

He shot her a meaningful look, and her face lit up with shared elation. Excitement for the adventure which lay ahead.

 

Little did they know the minutes of joy were fast ticking away.

****

 

A few days later.

 

Chakotay had been sleeping alone in his quarters following a Beta shift when they encountered the anomaly. Completely unaware that Kathryn had left the ship on a shuttle to scout the unusual gas cloud. 

 

Any other day he would have probably woken to his wife climbing into the bed with him, and gently easing him into sex as their shifts crossed over. That particular night, it was the feel of the ship shaking and the sirens of red alert which woke him. He was out of bed and pulling on his uniform before his summon to the bridge.

 

On entering the bridge he immediately realised the problem. A Cardassian fighter had opened fire on the Gage, and with an away team out on a survey mission they were unable to simply jump to warp and leave them behind.

 

He relieved the tactical officer on duty, and took up his station, responding quickly to the captain's orders to return fire. Whilst releasing a volley of phaser shots, he scanned the Cardassian vessel for any break in their shields. It didn't take too long to find one.

 

"Captain, if we can come about to their aft section, I think I can get in a shot to disable their weapons."

 

Captain Freeman glanced up from his bridge seat. "We'll see what we can do," he nodded towards the helm, who worked quickly to get them into position.

 

From the corner of his eye Chakotay spotted the empty first officer's seat beside his captain. "Where's Commander Janeway?" He asked, trying to keep the worry from his voice, his focus on the enemy ship readings.

 

"With the away team," Freeman replied, listening to an instruction from the helm to brace and holding onto his seat as the ship performed a tight manoeuvre and momentarily lost gravity. "Their shuttle is taking cover in the gas cloud."

 

Chakotay saw the opening he was searching for in the enemy vessel and opened fire. He succeeded in taking out their main weapons, but the ship had spun out of their reach before his final spread of fire power could take out auxiliary weapons.

 

The Cardassian ship came about, but instead of launching a further attack they began to retreat.

 

"They're backing off," Chakotay announced with heavy relief.

 

"Ship's status?"

 

Ops replied with a systems update and a minor damage report. Chakotay was only half listening as he noticed the Cardassian vessel taking an unnecessary swoop towards the gas cloud.

 

"Sir," he interrupted his colleague at Ops, "Enemy ship is headed for the gas cloud."

 

"Follow them," the captain instructed, without hesitation. Then, tapping his combadge, "Freeman to Janeway, you're about to have company."

 

"Understood," came Kathryn's reply over the static.

 

To everyone's surprise however, the Cardassian ship performed a flyby of the gas cloud before engaging warp and making a speedy exit. The bridge watched on in confusion, until Chakotay realised what was happening. A panic like no other spread through his core. "They've released a charge into the gaseous anomaly," he announced. 

 

This time Chakotay opened a channel directly to the shuttle. "The cloud is about to ignite," he said quickly. "Kathryn, you need to get out of there, now!"

 

"One step ahead of you," came her controlled and measured voice. "We can't outrun the explosion; I'm redirecting power to the deflector; we'll ride it out like a wave."

 

"Get close enough to secure a transporter lock," Freeman instructed the helm.

 

The inevitable sequence happened quickly, but with everything at stake, time seemed to slow down for Chakotay. The charge went off, igniting the gas cloud. The resulting explosion engulfed the shuttle, forcing it out the way as if it were mere debris. Shields and deflector held for just about long enough for the shuttle to be spat out and flung through space. However damage to the shuttle was significant, with their sensors soon detecting a warp core breach.

 

Chakotay held his breath as they watched the shuttle explode on the viewscreen. His entire life held in the balance until Ops gave an update. "We have them. All five crew; transported directly to sickbay."

 

Another tense moment on the bridge as they waited for the chief medical officer's report . "All lives are critical but stable."

 

He turned to his captain to ask permission to be relieved of his station, to go join his wife, when the medical officer added one last request. "Would Commander Chakotay be able to attend sickbay?"

 

Freeman looked over his shoulder, giving him the nod of permission. Chakotay was at the turbo lift doors as he heard the captain's reply to confirm he was on his way.

-

 

Hours later

 

Kathryn woke to the dim lights of a sickbay in recovery mode. Her last memory was that of being swallowed in a ball of flames as the shuttle exploded.

 

She felt sore all over. Every inch of her skin tingled and ached against the feel of her medical robes and blanket. Moving to sit up, she felt a presence come up beside her. 

 

"Steady there," her husband's voice wrapped around her, providing instant comfort and relief.

 

"The away team?" she tensed.

 

"All well and accounted for, thanks to your sharp thinking," he nodded towards the other medical beds where they all lay sleeping.

 

Kathryn strained her neck to see them for herself before relaxing back, and gazing up at the most wonderful face in the universe. "The baby?" She asked, her hand already drifting down to the place on her abdomen.

 

Chakotay paused, and it was all she needed to know that it was bad. With a slight shake of his head, he broke the news to her as gently as possible. "We lost the baby, Kathryn."

 

She blinked, unsure if she'd heard him correctly. "That's not… No. That can't be right."

 

He settled down on the edge of the bed beside her. "Your injuries were too severe. There was nothing the doctor could do. I'm sorry."

 

"No," she stifled the sob which escaped with a hand to her mouth. "I got the shuttle out. The transporter beam-"

 

She stopped as Chakotay's face lost its composure and crumbled, revealing the true extent of his pain and anguish. He was devastated. Instinctively she reached for him. The large bear of a man, folded forward into her embrace, burying his face in her neck.

 

A dampness pooled around her ear and neck, but whether they were her tears or his didn't matter. This was a completely shared grief.

Chapter 11

Notes:

I've been tinkering with this chapter for ages, but eventually it just needs to be posted so I can crack on with the rest of the story!

More pain and heartache to come, followed by a load of angst. Apologies in advance x

A few weeks later

 

“She's losing too much blood.”

 

Thwack. The strike of leather on skin as Chakotay's opponent struck his shoulder. Hard.

 

“Doctor, there's something unexpected on Janeway's scans.”

 

“Let me see…”

 

Smack. A glove to his chin this time, crunching his jaw together.

 

“We need to remove the embryo.”

 

Fire. In his lungs. As he gasped for each breath. Chakotay reached for the ropes, sagged against them.

 

“I'm sorry, there's nothing more we could have done.”

 

Oof. An unexpected strike to his side.

 

“We lost the baby, Kathryn.”

 

Another jab to his side, and he had taken all the beating he could tolerate. 

 

“Computer, delete opponent,” he called out.

 

The holographic boxer disappeared, and suddenly he was alone. More alone.

 

Chakotay spat out his gum shield and ripped off the bands around his gloves with teeth. Once his hands were free and unbound he flexed his fingers, eased them back into a normal grip. He sat on the bench with sagged shoulders and clasped hands, head hung as he tried to clear the memories which persisted to invade his mind.

 

The timer alerting him to the end of his holodeck session caught him unexpectedly.

 

How long had he been sitting there lost in thought?

-

 

His quarters were quiet. Too quiet.

 

Kathryn was finishing a shift, so he made dinner alone. Sat and ate by himself.

 

Chakotay found himself glancing frequently at the clock on the wall.

 

Each second ticking by slowly.

 

One hour. Two went by.

 

Her dinner was on the side, having long ago grown cold. Knowing that the food would no longer be any good he placed it in the replicator, and exited their quarters.

 

It had been several weeks since the incident which had lost them a much wanted pregnancy. Kathryn had fallen into an uneasy habit of working long shifts and taking on extra duties as she struggled to deal with the loss.

 

As expected, he found her by the warp core, tinkering with settings during a quiet Beta shift.

 

"You missed dinner," he commented as he came alongside her.

 

She barely glanced up at him. "The phase inhibitors have been causing us trouble all week. This is my first chance to have a look at them."

 

"We have an entire engineering team to do that," he needlessly reminded her.

 

She shrugged in response.

 

"Kathryn…"

 

Knowing his tone, she glanced over at him. "Don't say it."

 

Grasping his hands together, he propped his hip against the console she was working at. "I miss you,” he said simply.

 

Kathryn paused at his confession, drew back from the console and looked at him. Really looked. Whatever she saw, instantly disarmed her. Her expression softened and she reached for his hand. “I'm sorry… I haven't been around much, have I?”

 

“I know you don't want to talk about it, and we don't need to, not until you're ready. But I want my wife back. I want to spend time with you. Love you. Hold you.”

 

Kathryn closed the gap between them, resting a palm delicately on his chest. He covered her hand with his own, and leaned forward to meet her lips halfway for a gentle kiss.

 

She let out a small sigh as they drew apart. “I can do better,” she promised. For a second it looked like there were other promises she wanted to make too, but the moment was interrupted by the chirp of both their combadges.

 

“ Freeman to Janeway and Chakotay, can you both join me in my ready room please?”

 

His wife shot him a questioning look, but he shrugged his shoulders, none the wiser as to why they were being summoned.

 

Kathryn tapped her badge, “On our way.”

-

 

They walked in relative silence to the ship's command centre. At some point Chakotay's hand found hers, and although it was a simple touch, it felt overwhelmingly comforting. Losing the pregnancy had been devastating, but with this man by her side, she felt like they could face anything together.

 

She didn't know then, that they were about to be put through another test.

 

Freeman's face said it all the moment they both stepped through the doors to his ready room. The grim set of his mouth, the downcast eyes. Something terrible had happened, and it was their captain's responsibility to break it to them.

 

Chakotay detected it too, his grip on her hand tightening as he braced for impact.

 

“What's happened?” Kathryn asked, wanting it over with quickly. Whatever it was.

 

Freeman's eyes flickered involuntarily to Chakotay, and her heart stopped. This wasn't her news he was about to break.

 

“There's no good way to tell you this Chakotay, but your father died last night.”

 

Chakotay's hand instantly fell away from hers and he staggered back as if he'd been hit. “No,” he breathed.

 

“I'm so sorry,” Freeman said softly.

 

“I spoke with him…” Chakotay hesitated, and then he covered his mouth with shock when he realised how many days it had been since they had last spoken. “He can't be dead. He's fit… strong.”

 

Freeman straightened his posture, and Kathryn realised there was much more to the story. “There was a skirmish with some Cardassian soldiers in town. Your father tried to intervene, and unfortunately got caught in the crossfire. The Cardassians are reporting it as a misunderstanding. The officer responsible for discharging the weapon is being dealt with.”

 

As the full story unfolded, she watched as Chakotay's fingers balled into fists.

 

“Like hell that was an accident,” Chakotay snapped, the frustration clear in his tone.

 

Freeman glanced to his first officer for support. It broke Kathryn from her frozen state. She crossed over to her husband, and placed a comforting hand on his forearm before turning back to their captain. “Chakotay's mother and the rest of his family?”

 

“I understand they're all safe. The Cardassians have pulled back troops from the area out of consideration for what's happened.”

 

“Are we able to establish subspace communications?”

 

“Unfortunately we're too far away from the relay station.” Freeman furrowed his brow before addressing Chakotay directly. “I asked for the Gage to be redirected to Trebus, to help soothe out some of the tensions, but my request was denied. Starfleet doesn't want to do anything which would risk the delicate truce we have with Cardassia.”

 

Chakotay's chest lifted and then dropped heavily, with the effort it took to take his next breath. “I understand,” he said, but the bitterness was there in his tone.

 

“You know how I feel about the situation with Cardassia, Chakotay.” Freeman said carefully, each word measured, and Kathryn knew instantly that this wasn't the first time it had been discussed between the two men. “But my hands are tied; I can't take a Galaxy class vessel into an already contentious situation… I can, however, release my tactical officer on compassionate leave.”

 

Chakotay's eyes snapped up to meet Freeman's, immediately understanding what their captain couldn't say. “You would allow me to return to Trebus?”

 

“Take some time to consider it,” Freeman cautioned, as his eyes flickered to meet Kathryn's, “I know you recently suffered another loss. This is probably a lot to take in right now. But if you need to go home, I can help you make those arrangements.”

 

“Thank you, Sir,” Chakotay said solemnly, but Kathryn could tell he was more in shock than anything else.

 

After Freeman dismissed them, they made their way quietly back to quarters. In the turbo lift Kathryn slipped her hand into his and gave it a supportive squeeze, to which he shot her a sad but grateful smile.

 

“It doesn't feel real,” Chakotay said as they stepped through the doors to their home.

 

Kathryn busied herself at the replicator, making them both tea. There was already a tight pull at her chest from the news, she could only imagine Chakotay's would be a thousand fold once it sank in. “I know,” she said quietly, knowing all too well exactly what it felt like.

 

Chakotay sat himself down on the couch, leaning forward onto his elbows and clasping his hands in front of him. “I knew things were escalating on Trebus; but this…” he let out a long breath, “I feel so powerless.”

 

Kathryn put the tea on the table before them, and took a seat beside her husband. “Do you need to go back to Trebus? It sounds like the captain would be supportive.”

 

Chakotay glanced over at her, “I can't leave you,” he said simply, “Not right now.”

 

“I would come with you,” she offered up easily.

 

Chakotay gave her his full attention, “Kathryn, the situation on Trebus right now… I'm worried it's too-” She could tell he was about to say ‘dangerous’ but he quickly stopped and checked himself. “...There are too many tensions.”

 

Kathryn leaned forward, wrapping an arm around his back and resting her chin on his shoulder. “Then it's a good job I'm trained to deal with difficult situations.”

 

He choked out a sad laugh at her quip, and then turned to her with sorrowful eyes. “You would come with me? For my family?”

 

“ Our family,” she corrected, incredulous he would doubt her after all this time.

 

His shoulders sagged and she knew he was about to relent, “If the doctor gives you the go ahead, we'll go to Trebus together.”

 

Kathryn held him a little tighter, grateful to have a way forward, knowing it would be the start of his healing process. She knew from experience that the path ahead would be long and arduous, but she was confident they could navigate it. They were always at their strongest together.

-

 

Chakotay didn't get much sleep that night. Not that he expected to. He lay awake on the bed with his exhausted wife curled up beside him.

 

Dead. His father was gone. It felt like such a remote and unbelievable concept, that someone who meant so much to him could be there one day and gone another.

 

Kathryn had tried her best to comfort him that evening. Desperate to soothe away the shock from a grief she knew all too well.

 

“ I love you ,” she whispered repeatedly, until sleep had claimed her already tired form. Shattered from another loss they were still trying to come back from.

 

Chakotay had spoken with his father, a couple of weeks before, about the loss of the baby. Confided him about the pain and emptiness he felt in the wake. His struggle to remain strong for Kathryn.

 

Kolopak had been understanding, supportive, and shared a similar experience. In an odd way it had bonded them. Closing some more of the distance which had grown between them over the years. For the first time they hadn't been speaking as father and son, but as two fathers.

 

Now Chakotay felt untethered. He had belonged to someone, to his father, and now he didn't. He felt desperately alone, despite the woman cuddled beside him. A woman who loved him, and had become his family, his whole and his heart. But for the first time, in that moment, it didn't feel like enough to hold together the other part of his heart which was breaking.

 

A soft bleep from the communications console had Chakotay up and out of the bed to investigate.

 

From the Starfleet insignia he knew it was a call from headquarters, so he pulled on a shirt and activated the comm.

 

It was Sloan. 

 

Chakotay had almost forgotten about Section 31. Almost .

 

“Commander,” the other man greeted him, with a grim expression. It was obvious he had heard about the incident.

 

Chakotay's expression hardened. “What do you want?” 

 

“I called to express my condolences,” the other man said with something which looked close to genuine compassion.

 

“I thought we had an agreement,” Chakotay gritted out, his anger suddenly flaring, “You were to tell me if my family and friends were in danger.”

 

“It's unfortunate what happened to your father,” Sloan said firmly, “That was unexpected. But I believe it's only the start of a larger movement. Your entire homeworld is at risk.”

 

Chakotay glanced over his shoulder, to be absolutely sure they were talking privately. “What do you mean?”

 

“The Cardassians have discovered a rare mineral deep below the ground of the northern continent, where most of the settlements are. They want access to it, and if the colony doesn't relocate, it's likely the Cardassians will take action to clear the land themselves.”

 

Chakotay knew exactly what a Cardassian ground clearance could look like. He took an unsteady breath. “What are Starfleet planning to do?”

 

Sloan shot him a reluctant look. “The Federation's hands are tied. They can't afford conflict right now. But there's something you can do. Go home, and convince as many people as you can to leave?”

 

“And go where, exactly?”

 

“Ideally, deeper into Federation borders…”

 

Chakotay scoffed, he'd been trying to talk them into better relations with the Federation for years, but the council were too far set in their ways. But maybe there was a way, now with Dasani in charge, maybe he could appeal to her… convince a more open minded leader to change.

 

“A warning is as much as I can give you right now,” Sloan spoke again, “But if you're interested, there's a project I'm working on. Something which might make a difference to the border colonies, and the wider Federation.”

 

“What's the project?”

 

“I can't say just yet,” said Sloan cryptically, knowing he already had him hooked. “But if you want to be involved, call me on this channel when you're ready.”

 

Chakotay stared him down hard from the other side of the viewscreen, with a sense that he was being played, but completely powerless to stop it.

 

“Oh,” Sloan said, almost as an afterthought. “Don't take Janeway with you to Trebus.”

 

Chakotay paused. “Why not?”

 

“Daughter of an admiral. Senior Commander. Starfleet hot shot…” he offered up a few reasons. “It wouldn't look good if she were to get too involved, or if anything were to happen to her.”

 

Something about the way Sloan said it, sounded like a threat, but Chakotay couldn't quite put his finger on why. “Kathryn and I have already agreed to go together,” he said firmly.

 

Sloan gave him a strange look. “I'd think that through carefully, if I were you.”

 

Before Chakotay could question exactly what he meant, the channel suddenly cut out, and Sloan's face was again replaced by the Starfleet insignia.

 

Chakotay sat back and stared at the screen for a long time after the channel he had closed. Sloan hadn't explicitly forbid him from taking Kathryn back to Trebus, but the caution left an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

 

Something bigger was going on which he didn't understand, something which made the hairs at the back of his neck stand on end, warning of imminent danger.

 

He'd already lost an unborn child and now his father; he couldn't afford to lose anyone else. The risk was too great, he decided. He would need to do this alone.

Chapter 12

Kathryn woke to an empty bed, the space beside her unusually cold in her husband's absence.

 

The memory of the news they'd received the previous day suddenly hit hard. Kolopak. The incident with the Cardassians.

 

It also brought up some other unwelcome memories, of Daddy and Justin, but she buried them deep. She needed to focus on Chakotay right now.

 

Climbing from the bed, she headed for the living space, half expecting to find Chakotay starting breakfast. Much to her surprise she found the room empty. A little worry rose in her stomach, with sudden concern for his whereabouts.

 

“Janeway to Chakotay,” she tapped her combadge. Only the static responded.

 

“Janeway to Chakotay,” she tried again, growing quickly impatient. “Computer, locate Commander Chakotay.”

 

“Commander Chakotay is not onboard the ship,” Came the computer's automated response.

 

“Where is he?” she called out.

 

“ Commander Chakotay's current location is unknown .”

 

“Last known location?”

 

“Shuttle bay one, at 03:52.”

 

Damn it , she thought, immediately realising what he had done, and where he had gone.

 

It didn't take long for Kathryn to pull on a uniform and storm onto the bridge.

 

“All stop,” she called out, to the tail end of the Gamma shift.

 

The helm looked up, surprised, but carried out her order regardless.

 

Kathryn took her command post and looked up the relevant data on the central console. “Change setting to 232 mark 5. Set a course for Trebus, warp 8.”

 

“Belay that,” Freeman's voice startled her as he stepped out from the turbolift.

 

“Captain,” she stood and addressed him, “Commander Chakotay has left the ship without authorisation. We need to go after his shuttle.”

 

Freeman gave her a steady look. “The commander has authorisation.”

 

Kathryn stared at him blankly for the moment it took to understand what had happened. “You gave him permission to depart?”

 

“I did.”

 

“What the hell?”

 

“Commander Janeway, a moment in my ready room, please.”

 

Freeman passed through the bridge without a second glance, expecting his first officer to follow diligently behind him. As expected, she did just that, but the instant they were alone she laid into him.

 

“I can't believe you let Chakotay go without running it by me first,” she started, “All crew movements go through me.”

 

Freeman's expression hardened, “Don't hide behind protocol, Kathryn. Be honest, you're upset that I allowed your husband to leave without telling you first.”

 

“So you knew he hadn't spoken to me?” she quickly latched on.

 

“Yes,” Freeman looked somewhat reluctant, “But after Chakotay explained his reasoning, I had to agree with him. Your presence on Trebus right now is likely to aggravate tensions more than anything else.”

 

“Why do you say that?”

 

“Because you don't know when to let things go, Kathryn,” he cautioned. “Your ability to resolve conflict is second to none. But you also have an innate ability to cause it in the first place.”

 

“Sometimes things need to be agitated,” she argued passionately, “Sometimes someone needs to stand up and put things right.”

 

“Not today,” he declared, with a note of finality. “Right now we sit tight. Hold our course and complete the current mission Starfleet has assigned.”

 

“Let me go. I'll take another shuttle and follow after him. Please.”

 

Freeman took a breath, and she could tell he was intentionally putting pause before giving her his answer. When he finally spoke there was compassion in his tone. “Chakotay was very explicit that this was something he wanted to do alone, Kathryn.”

 

Her brow furrowed. “That doesn't make any sense. He and I agreed that we would go together.”

 

Seeing the anger fall away from her body Freeman's stance softened. He stepped towards his desk and twisted the computer console around. “I'll admit I would be pissed if Carol did something like this without consulting me,” he said as he tapped at the controls, “I can't explain all of Chakotay's reasons for leaving the way he did, but perhaps he can…”

 

Kathryn looked down at the screen, and noticed a still frame of Chakotay's face on the display. He'd left her a message. Her heart lurched with both hurt and anticipation.

 

Freeman turned to give her shoulder a gentle squeeze, before stepping away completely and leaving her alone in his ready room.

 

She took a moment. Took a breath. 

 

“Computer, activate message,” she called out.

 

“Kathryn,” he started with a sad smile, the soft timbre of his voice instantly quelling any remaining anger, to expose the worry and hurt beneath. “I'm sorry I left so early this morning without waking you. We've been through so much recently, and with everything on Trebus so turbulent…” he struggled with his next breath. “I didn't want to risk bringing you into that. I'm sorry. I'll call as soon as I can. I love you.”

****

 

Chakotay had left in the early hours with a heavy heart. He was immeasurably grief stricken already, but hearing of his father's death left him with an empty hollow feeling. Going without Kathryn filled that hole with a terrible guilt. One which only worsened over the days it took to reach the place of his birth.

 

Part of him wanted desperately to bring her along. They were both still recovering from the miscarriage, she needed him as much as he needed her right now. But ultimately he knew Sloan was right. He couldn't risk bringing Kathryn into a situation which might endanger her. It was one thing to chance his own life, it was something else to risk hers.

 

Sometimes it was easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. He could only hope that Kathryn would give him a chance to explain himself when the time was right.

 

His mother was waiting for him at the shuttle landing site. It was rare for the planet to receive Federation visitors, especially these days, so he'd called ahead to ensure they would be expecting his arrival.

 

Tananka swept him into a fierce hug as he disembarked. Carried away with the emotion of seeing her only son following the tragedy of his father's death. She cried freely in the hold of his arms, but Chakotay still felt too numb to express his grief over this most recent loss.

 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a figure that could have been Dasani, lingering in the distance. But the figure was gone by the time Chakotay and his mother made their way into the town.

 

Later, and with her emotions in much better check, Tananka served him tea on the veranda of his childhood home.

 

“How's Kathryn?” she asked with a knowing tone.

 

“Getting there,” he replied flatly.

 

Tananka shot him a look. “How did she feel about you coming here alone?”

 

“I didn't ask her,” he admitted, reluctantly, “I just left.”

 

His mother sucked in a breath.

 

“Don't say it,” he glanced away. “I know.”

 

“You’re so much like your father,” she said, with a deliberately fierce tone. “After he lost his own father, he disappeared into the mountain range for days.”

 

“I remember,” Chakotay said quietly.

 

“Grief can be private, but the burden can be eased when it's shared. Why aren't you sharing this with your wife, Chakotay?”

 

He kept his eyes downcast, unwilling to tell her the real reason. His concerns for her safety on this planet.

 

Tananka clicked her tongue.

 

“You recently lost an unborn child too,” her tone softened, “We were devastated to hear what had happened; Kolopak especially so. He was heartbroken for you.”

 

Chakotay looked up, surprised at the revelation. Speaking to his father about it had helped; but he hadn't known of his father's own heartache at the news.

 

“Don't look surprised,” Tananka gently scolded him, “Like you, he felt things deep, but only a little made its way to the surface. What does emerge is an expression of the emotion which originally took hold. Sadness to compassion. Love to distraction.”

 

Tananka pointed out across the backyard, “When he heard he was going to be a grandfather, he was so overwhelmed with love that he took himself to the workshop for days. Fixing everything in the house. Building all manner of new things we didn't need.” She smiled sadly to herself. “When he learned that wasn't going to happen, his focus turned to you. To do what he could to support you. Mentally, physically… spiritually.”

 

Chakotay leant forward, onto his elbows, hands clasped before him.

 

“I hadn't realised how affected he was,” he confessed, realising he'd been too caught up on the impact on himself and Kathryn to consider the feelings of those around them.

 

“You weren't supposed to,” she smiled softly, “That was yours and Kathryn’s pain, but he would have done anything to ease it.”

 

The moment was interrupted by a light creaking of floorboards, and the clearing of a throat. They both turned to see Dasani, holding back in the doorway.

 

Tananka put down her teacup and went to greet her visitor. 

 

The two women exchanged some hushed words before Tananka nodded, shooting her son a wistful look before she left.

 

Chakotay stood, holding his head high and shoulders back. “Dasani,” he said her name with great care.

 

“Your father was a good man,” she started, “Your loss is the loss of an entire community.”

 

“I heard there was an altercation in town?”

 

“He was asking a group of soldiers to leave. They had caused some… trouble the previous evening. I was dealing with it, but your father was losing patience.”

 

“And the man who fired the weapon?”

 

Dasani pursed her lips, and he instantly knew he wouldn't like the answer, so she deliberately didn't give it.

 

“I couldn't help but overhear some of what your mother was saying. You lost a child?”

 

He nodded in confirmation, but words failed him.

 

“I'm sorry,” she said with absolute sincerity. Then, watching him carefully, “I knew a Chakotay who was relieved not to be burdened with an obligation. Free to leave this planet and pursue his own path.”

 

He pursed his lips. “I knew a Dasani who was too ashamed to tell her father she’d been engaging in premarital sex.”

 

The woman across from him looked serious. “I suppose we've both changed a lot. You'll be a good father one day.”

 

Chakotay took a breath, desperate to recenter himself, unwilling to be distracted by his own situation. “I didn't just come home because of my father, Dasani. I came back because this community is in danger. The Cardassians will take what they want, one way or another.”

 

Her eyes narrowed, “Don't think I don't know that already, Chakotay,” she said quietly.

 

“Then why don't you leave; go somewhere safer?”

 

Her eyes shot up to meet his. They were evenly matched from birth: headstrong, resilient and restless in spirit. But their paths had split long before adolescence, Chakotay's wanderlust desperate to leave and experience all the universe had to offer. Dasani's passionate nature directing her towards politics and care for their community.

 

“Leaving isn't an easy option,” she said carefully. 

 

“I never said it would be easy,” he agreed, “but necessary. Let me speak with the council, convince them to reach out to the Federation for support.”

 

Dasani pursed her lips. “They won’t listen to you. You’ve been apart from us for so long, Chakotay, I'm not sure you understand our ways anymore. You think with your head and not with your heart. You talk like a Federation diplomat, not one of us.”

 

“I’m still one of you,” he fiercely insisted.

 

She shook her head. “You're mourning, but you have followed none of our traditions, the rituals you were taught throughout childhood. It takes more than circumstance and birth to be part of this culture. Your entire spirit must belong.”

 

Chakotay held out his hands. “How can I prove that my spirit is still tied to our people?”

 

“Go on a spirit walk, Chakotay. Speak with our ancestors, and when you return, I’ll arrange an audience with the council for you. They will listen to what you have to say.”

 

It had been years since Chakotay had participated in any of their rituals. He hadn't meditated in so long, he wasn't even sure if he still knew how. But it was a simple enough commitment to make. He would go through the motions, and by the end he would talk to the council. Convince them of the need to change.

 

Chakotay could never have anticipated, however, how the experience would change him.

****

 

Five days later

 

Chakotay slowly returned to consciousness. Memories of the last few days washing over him in a haze.

 

It had hit him towards the end of the first day, when he had emerged from the sweat lodge in floods of tears. Grief stricken. Wailing at the night sky. Cutting his hair; shaving it back to the scalp with a sharp ritual blade.

 

On the second day he had been taken to the hillside, and deprived himself of food and sleep for days until he began to hallucinate.

 

He saw his animal guide. His father. Their ancestors. And finally, he felt the spirit of the planet. She was fearless and calm, powerful and humble. He felt the same pull towards her that his ancestors had several generations before. A connection which had been missing from his entire childhood. But he felt it now. Knew it through to his bones.

 

And now he finally understood.

 

They couldn't leave without losing part of themselves.

-

 

There was a small group of villagers waiting for him as he emerged from the woodland. They gathered him up, gave him water and nourished his body with its first food in days. 

 

Whilst he sat and recovered, he called for their local tattoo artist, who marked the experience permanently on his skin. The same markings his father had worn. In honour and in remembrance.

 

Dasani appeared beside him. “I think you’re ready,” she told him.

 

Chakotay nodded. He was ready.

-

 

As promised he was granted an audience with the council. But the man who stood before them wasn't the same man who had left the planet two decades ago, or even the officer who had arrived a week before.

 

The spirit walk had shifted something deep within him. Something he couldn't articulate with words.

 

His argument and urgency for them to leave the planet was diminished. Instead he found himself listening. To their reasons for staying. Their wisdom and passion for the choices they were making as a community.

 

There was no simple solution. But they were determined to stay, to face the challenge of the Cardassians, and the potential consequences.

 

As he prepared to leave he was defeated from his original intentions, but not disheartened. He had a new purpose now.

 

Beside the shuttle he said a farewell to a small group of family and friends who had gathered to see him off.

 

“Are you sure you won't come back with me to Earth?” he quietly asked his mother, already knowing her answer.

 

Tananka took his hand in hers. “I'm always with you, Chakotay,” she said softly, “but I belong here.”

 

Squeezing her hand he looked deeply and affectionately in her eyes. “Take care of yourself.”

 

She simply smiled.

 

Chakotay took his mother in a firm hug. When he finally released her, he turned to the others, sharing more hugs and handshakes, until he reached Dasani who was hanging back a little from the crowd. He met her gaze and held it. “Take care of them.”

 

“Always,” she promised.

 

He nodded. There was a new understanding between them. One of acceptance and respect. A divergence of path, but not of intention; they would each do what was necessary to protect their people and this way of life.

 

It was with an uneasy feeling that Chakotay left, but also with an understanding that he hadn't had before. This was their land; their home. They couldn't leave.

 

Chakotay was apprehensive about the conversation he would need to have with Kathryn when the Gage re-entered subspace. However, there was another call he needed to make first, one which knotted his stomach and caused his spine to tense as he waited for a response.

 

Finally the Starfleet insignia switched to reveal the face of Luther Sloan on the screen.

 

“I want to help,” Chakotay announced.

 

The other man nodded, knowingly. “Let's talk in person. When you get back to Earth I'll send you some coordinates.”

 

The uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach didn't go away after the call had ended, but he felt a sense of momentum. If his people couldn't leave, maybe there was something else he could do to protect them.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Sleepless