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Elyan dithered in the gloomy corridor, chilled from patrol but hesitating to step towards the flickering light that issued from under Percival’s closed door. This had been the first patrol he’d been on since… well, the last one, and he wasn’t sure where he and the man inside stood any more.
Over the few months they had known each other they’d developed a bit of a tradition. When one of them went on patrol without the other they would catch them up afterwards on anything interesting, funny, or mind-numbingly dull enough to comment on. Elyan loved it, but he was wondering if it was a bad idea to carry on with it now. But then again, maybe it was a bad idea to let this chance go.
Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door and opened it.
To his surprise, Percival wasn’t sitting at the table or on his bed, but rather pacing the room.
“Percival,” Elyan asked cautiously, instantly worried by the strained expression on his friend’s face, his wide eyes and the distressed way he was running his hands through his short hair.. Are you all right?”
Percival jumped and turned quickly. Upon seeing it was Elyan, he shoved his hands in his pockets and forced a smile. “Yeah, fine!”
“Mhm?” Elyan didn’t believe him for a moment. “What is it Percy, you can tell me.” Elyan’s heart quickened as he wondered whether he had been thinking about him.
Percival’s shoulders sagged. “It’s stupid,” he mumbled. “You’ll laugh.”
“Course I won’t. What is it?”
Percival flushed a delicate shade of red. “The feast tonight,” he muttered.
Elyan had not been expecting that. “Yes?” he prompted, nonplussed.
Percival’s blush deepened. “The… dancing.”
“Ah.” Elyan smiled reassuringly. “There’s no need to be nervous Perce, it’ll be new for all of us.”
“No, but-“ Percival’s face was now the colour of the cloak around Elyan’s shoulders. “I- I don’t know- how.”
Elyan frowned. “To dance?”
Percival nodded, staring at floor, expression anguished. “And I’m going to make such a fool of myself, and-“
“Percival!” Elyan interrupted, smiling now. “Course you won’t. Because I can teach you.”
Percival’s head jerked up in surprise. “Really?”
“Of course!” Elyan told him. “Just give me five minutes to get changed then meet me in my room, all right?”
“Um…“
“I’ll see you.” Before Percival could protest Elyan gave him another smile and darted out the room.
Back in his room, Elyan began to realise he hadn’t thought this through. As he stripped off his cloak and chainmail, his mind began to catch up with his mouth.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help his friend, of course not. Quite the opposite in fact: dancing with Percival sounded like a dream come true. Which was exactly the problem. He wasn’t sure if Percival saw it the same way.
Ok, that wasn’t quite true. The whole point was that that wasn’t quite true.
It had been a night last week on patrol, a cold, clear night full of stars.
So full of stars, that it had coaxed memories of home and constellations from Percival’s lips as they’d sat on watch together, memories Elyan had learned the painful significance of soon after he’d met him; of his wife and the life they’d shared there, the ways he and Elyan were alike, and, eventually, heartbreakingly, how it had all ended.
So cold, that Percival, apparently immune to such things, had taken his cloak off to wrap around Elyan’s shoulders. But then Elyan had reached up almost automatically to keep his arm there too, and he’d stayed.
It had been such a sacred, silent, silver-drenched moment, leaning into Percival’s warm bulk, drowning in his dark blue gaze, his arms a steady anchor around him, the only movement the breath in their chests. Percival was close enough he could feel it ghosting over his face, over his lips...
Then Gwaine and Leon had shattered it with their irritable bickering as they came to take over watch, and they’d leapt apart and hurried to their bedrolls without looking at each other again.
They hadn’t spoken of it since, hadn’t really spoken one on one at all. In Elyan’s mind, it was a delicate thing, neither of them wanting to make another move for fear of ruining it. It didn’t help that neither of them were very good with words; Percival’s were few and far between, while Elyan’s always came out wrong, too jokey or sarcastic or defensive. But if they continued to say or do nothing, this thing, whatever it was, would fizzle out, fade like all things do, and they’d move on in that wonderful heartbreaking way people always could.
But over the following week, Elyan kept catching Percival watching him, seemingly making no effort to hide it. And as Elyan usually had cause to find any kind of scrutiny uncomfortable or worse, it was rather nice.
His rumination was interrupted by a soft knock at the door. Elyan took a deep breath. “Come in,” he managed as he pulled on a clean shirt. He was usually wary about who he let see him shirtless, but he did not worry about Percival taking exception to the scars on his chest; indeed, it would be rather hypocritical if he did.
Elyan managed to smile at Percival as he entered, looking rather wide-eyed still.
“Feeling better?”
Percival blinked, trying to recover from the short-circuit seeing Elyan shirtless without warning had caused in his brain.
“Yep,” he managed. He shook his head disorientedly, silently cursing Elyan’s taste in low cut shirts that exposed half his chest even when he was wearing one. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, trying to sound normal. “I don’t want to-“
“Percy, it’s fine,” Elyan interrupted firmly, that beautiful smile of his rendering him temporarily speechless again, and forcing Percival to look away.
He wanted… He just wished he knew was all. If Elyan was feeling the same way as him. They hadn’t spoken since that night, and while Percival thought he had been doing a good job of minimising his longing stares, he was now wondering if he’d been a bit too covert.
“Right. Thanks,” he said when he’d recovered, putting his hands awkwardly in his pockets. “So, what first?”
It was Elyan’s turn to look temporarily blank. “Umm. I hadn’t really thought… I suppose I should teach you the- the hold?”
“The hold,” Percival repeated, his heartbeat quickening. Oh gods, neither of them had thought this through. Elyan looked similarly like he was regretting all his life decisions.
“Yes… So, if you put your arm around my waist, and I put mine on your shoulders- or maybe the other way round…? Hm.” Elyan frowned, chewing his lip.
“Like this?” Percival offered, stepping towards him in a moment of boldness and slipping an arm around him.
Elyan blinked up at him. “Yeah, that works.” He reached up and wrapped an arm around Percival’s neck. “And then-“ His free hand fumbled for Percival’s.
Percival was temporarily dumbstruck at the feeling of his warm hand holding his. The contrast of their skin as their fingers laced together was beautiful, and Percival longed to raise their hands to his lips.
“Ok.” Gods, he sounded breathless. He was breathless; every point their skin touched felt like it was burning in the best way and Elyan’s face was way too gloriously close to his own, their bodies just a breath away from being pressed together.
“And now,“ Elyan swallowed audibly. “We can try-“ He slowly stepped backwards, tightening his hold, and Percival moved with him.
To the side, then forward again, then backwards - Percival winced as he trod on Elyan’s foot, grateful they’d both kept their boots on - to the side, then forward…
“This isn’t so bad,” Percival admitted hopefully.
Elyan huffed a laugh. “Told you. And the ladies of the court are used to having to haul drunken oafs around. They’ll be thrilled to dance with a gentleman like you, even if you are a beginner.”
Percival snorted. “How do you know so much about it all?” he asked. “You’ve never been to a feast either.”
Elyan just grinned, eyes sparkling mischievously. Percival’s mouth dropped open.
“You haven’t!”
Elyan cackled. “I have. When I was a teenager sometimes I’d get bored.”
“Oh no.”
“Most nobles don’t really take any notice of servants. As long as you’re dressed like one you fit right in.”
“You just… pretended to be a servant.”
“Well, the first time…”
Percival boggled at him. “You pretended to be a noble too?!”
“I wanted to see what feasts were like!”
“I bet your father took that well. And Gwen.”
“Yeah.” Elyan hummed, a little sadly, a little happily.
Percival’s arms tightened around him. “And you never got caught?”
Elyan shrugged. “Guess I was easy to overlook.”
“I don’t know how,” Percival replied. “You’re stunning.”
Elyan blinked, and so did Percival. He hadn’t planned to say that but that was what had slipped out, and he couldn’t find it in himself to take it back.
Elyan cleared his throat. “Thanks,” he managed. Percival was sure that if he were to touch his face right now he would find it burning.
Oh, how he wanted to touch his face. He wanted to do a lot more than touch his face.
Elyan coughed. “So, what about you? What kind of trouble did you get into when you were younger?”
“Not half as much as you,” Percival replied with a laugh that was only a little forced. “I think there were more ways for a boy to get into trouble in the middle of Camelot than a little farming village.”
Elyan chuckled. “That’s probably true. So you didn’t do much dancing there?”
Percival smiled sadly. “A bit. But it was a lot different to this, and I wasn’t any good at that either. Last time I danced was probably- ah- my wedding.”
"Oh,” Elyan said softly.
Way to kill the mood, Percival berated himself, blocking out memories of flying curls and a laughing voice before they could drag him down and drown him.
Elyan was looking at him so sadly, but he hadn’t let go of him. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.
Percival smiled gently, surprised easily it came, and squeezed his hand. “S’all right. Not your fault.”
It was silent between them for several minutes. Percival gradually became aware that they had stopped moving across the floor and were simply swaying in each other’s arms.
He knew this swaying, knew it from the little quiet moments when everyone’s attention was on something else, and his was inevitably drawn to Elyan. His friend who never kept still. Even when everyone else was motionless, he would still be moving: tapping his fingers, or swaying from side to side like branches in the wind. To be caught up in so familiar a motion, in something that was so purely Elyan, felt suddenly so deeply intimate that all at once Percival couldn’t breathe.
“Elyan?” he said softly.
His friend’s eyes moved to his face. His face was serious now, his gaze steady and intent. “Yeah?” he breathed.
Almost without thinking about it Percival slowly brought their joined hands to rest over his suddenly hammering heart. “I-“
He couldn’t get any more out, but it didn’t matter. Elyan understood.
His eyes were shining like the velvety night sky, his mouth a trembling smile. “Yeah,” he whispered again, soft.
Elyan’s arm tightened around his waist, he was moving closer, trapping their hands between them. He reached up on his tiptoes and pressed the gentlest of kisses to his lips. Percival let out a gasp against his mouth, his arm tightening around him as he clutched at his shirt. The kiss deepened, the two of them clinging to each other as the weeks of longing poured out between them, locking them together in this moment.
“HURRY UP LADS! You’re going to be late!”
They sprang apart at Gwaine’s yell from the corridor outside.
Percival was frozen. Elyan’s hand had fallen to his arm but he was still holding onto him. Percival couldn’t stop looking at him. He wanted to move closer to him again. He couldn’t move.
But before he could do anything, Elyan let go of him with a sheepish laugh. Suddenly Percival could move.
“I should go.” He had to force the words out of his mouth. The last thing he needed was to be late to his first ever feast. But also he didn’t care in the slightest. “Umm… thank you for helping me.” It had felt so easy and natural a moment ago, but now the air between them was awkward.
Elyan nodded reluctantly, gaze straying to the floor and Percival couldn’t bear it. In another moment of boldness, he reached out and squeezed his hand, getting him to look at him. “I’ll see you later?” he asked hopefully.
Elyan’s eyes lit up. “I’d like that,” he murmured, smiling properly now and squeezing his hand back. “Good luck at the dance, you’ll be great.”
Percival shook his head, swallowing hard against the nerves that reared their head again. “If I am, it’ll only be because I had a good teacher,” he replied.
But he was grinning as he left the room, Elyan’s laughter ringing out behind him.
Percival was distracted the whole feast, which in a way was good. He was so caught up in Elyan, he didn’t have room for nerves. He danced enough with the ladies of the court to be polite, and didn’t think he’d trodden on too many toes, before retiring gratefully to the tables, content just to watch Elyan.
He hadn’t been able to fully appreciate it when he was in his arms, not least because he was so distracted, but now he could see just how beautiful a dancer Elyan was. His posture was upright and elegant, his steps nimble and sure. No wonder he had a queue of ladies wanting to dance with him.
“Enjoying yourself?” said a voice from beside him suddenly. Percival nearly jumped out of his skin, having not noticed Gwaine perching on the table behind him.
“I don’t know what you mean,” he snapped.
Gwaine raised an eyebrow. “Touchy are we? Only asking because you’ve spent the entire night ogling Elyan.” The bastard didn’t even have the decency to pay him full attention while harassing him, instead idly examining his goblet of wine. Usually Percival had a great appreciation for Gwaine’s irascible ways, but not when he was the target. “So what’s got you in a tiz?”
“Nothing,” Percival muttered.
Gwaine smirked as he got to his feet. “Sure. You have fun doing ‘nothing’ later then.” He swaggered off back to his own queue of ladies and several men eying him with furtive longing, leaving Percival mortified behind him.
“All right?”
He jumped again. He wasn’t sure how much his heart could take, especially when he saw Elyan standing in front of him. He was a little out of breath from dancing, his eyes bright as he looked up at him, and Percival found he wanted nothing more than to kiss him there and then.
"You think we’ve stayed long enough to stop the nobles muttering about dishonour when we sneak out?"
Percival’s heart leapt into his throat but he managed to keep his voice normal. "Probably not," he answered. "But how much do you care?"
Elyan grinned and took his hand.
They were holding hands. Actually holding hands.
Not just incidentally like when they had been dancing, but just for the sake of it. Percival didn’t know quite why it was affecting him so much when they’d literally kissed a few hours ago, but as it was he was having trouble breathing again as they walked hand in hand through the deserted corridors. They didn’t speak, but Elyan’s presence was warm and familiar beside him, tempering his anxiety into something manageable, exciting even.
Finally they reached the knight’s corridor, and Elyan’s door came upon them first. He stopped, and turned to face Percival, not letting go of his hand, a cautious smile on his lips.
“Are you all danced out?” he asked, eyes running over his arms, his chest, anywhere but his face. “Or would you be interested in… another lesson?”
Percival saw him cringe inwardly at his own words, and if he wasn’t now completely incapable of breathing he’d laugh. Instead he just nodded numbly and followed him inside.
Really, for how charged with tension and unspoken longing their interactions earlier had been, this part was not. It was passionate, deep kisses swallowing ragged moans, mouths nipping at necks and jaws and collarbones, but it was gentle and silly too. Lots of ‘is this ok?’ and ‘is that good?’ and giggling when one of them got too loud or sounded funny.
Really, Elyan thought when they finally settled and he lay with Percival’s heartbeat thudding in his ear, fingers tracing patterns on the warm skin of his shoulder, it had been easy.
A tinge of doubt made an appearance for the first time. “How long have you wanted to do that?”
Percival looked surprised. “Weeks,” he answered, looking at him as if wondering how he could question this now.
A smile touched Elyan’s mouth. “Same.”
Percival’s fingers idly traced the curve of his hip, turning it into something strong and lyrical beneath his hand. “But I’ve also wanted to do… other things.”
Elyan’s heart gave a wild leap but he smirked just to be a bastard. “Oh?”
Percy blushed and shoved his shoulder gently. “I meant… be with you. Be yours. Take you on dates and stuff. I’m sorry, I don’t want to go too fast-”
Elyan cut him off with a kiss. “I think we’ve already failed on that one,” he pointed out, unable to stop smiling as he traced his lips with his fingers. “I’d like that too, but you’re right. There’s no rush. And I don’t want…“ He faltered. “To hurt you. I want to do this at your speed.”
Percival curled his fingers around his wrist, lifting his hand to his lips so he could press kisses over his knuckles, adoring eyes never leaving his face. Elyan hummed, suddenly sleepy. “Can I just hold you for now?” he asked softly. Percival beamed and nodded.
Elyan shifted, nestling between matress and Percival as he rolled onto his side, and wrapped an arm around Percival’s soft belly to hold him close. Elyan pressed a tender kiss to the back of his head, then to his neck just beneath his ear as he sighed in contentment.
“And we’ll see where this leads us,” he concluded softly.
Percival’s fingers laced with Elyan’s, and he brought their hands to his lips again before tucking them back safe against his heart.
It was terrifying, opening himself to the possibility of that hurt again, but Elyan was worth the risk. He was worth any amount of pain, a thousand times over.