Chapter Text
Atsushi could still remember Oda’s adoption day.
It had been spent with warm smiles and farewell cards. They’d all played tag, which Oda had been quite good at, one last time for him. Father had even made his favorite food, curry, for dinner that night. Some of the younger children had found it too spicy, offering their plates up to Oda with the intent of simply eating the rice portion of the meal. Oda refused, telling them that they needed to eat balanced meals.
It was like any other adoption day. A warm, day long send off to their dear sibling who’d been chosen for a family.
The only thing that stood out to Atsushi was the day’s end.
As all adoption days did, the day ended with Father at the door, letting their sibling say one final goodbye before they went to be with their new family in the outside world. Now was the time for the tears the children had been holding back the entire day, for the final well wishes and promises of remembrance.
Atsushi had been sad to see Oda go. Even if he hadn’t been as close to him as some of the others had, he’d always been so kind. He’d been calm and collected, a stable older brother that anyone could talk to.
There was one person that had caught Atsushi’s eye, however.
Dazai had lingered at the back of the crowd, head cast downward. His arms were at his sides, hands clenched in tight fists.
It made sense that he’d been upset. Oda was his closest friend after all. Him, Dazai, and Ango had always been a trio, seeming to gravitate towards each other no matter where they were and what was going on.
It was the first time Atsushi had seen him appear so upset. Even if he was hurt or scolded, he’d always respond with a laugh and a grin.
He probably needs someone right now, with what he’s going through.
The thought played in Atsushi’s head as he squeezed out of the crowd of his siblings, wandering over to Dazai.
But, as he got closer, he noticed Dazai’s face. The expression he saw wasn’t one of just sadness, of a loss of a friend going far. No, what Atsushi had seen in that moment was utter, gutted defeat and frustration. It made him stop dead in his tracks.
“...Dazai? Are you okay?”
He spoke shakily, watching as Dazai’s head slowly lifted to look at him. The edges of his mouth twitched for a moment, as if he was trying to smile, but he couldn’t seem to even begin one. Instead, all that was left was a solemn stare. Dazai opened his mouth to respond, but someone else beat him to it.
“Dazai.”
Oda, blue eyes fixed on him from the front of the room. Silence seemed to echo for a moment, with even the other children halting their conversations to stare between the two. Then, a soft, reassuring smile.
“I’ll be alright.”
The way that Dazai’s face seemed to break at that moment, the slight widening of his eyes, how his lips remained slightly parted, any words he’d been wanting to say seemingly taken from him, would forever be ingrained into Atsushi’s mind.
“Oda, it’s time to go.”
Father’s voice broke the moment, as he placed a hand on Oda’s shoulder. Oda glanced back.
“Alright.”
He turned to face them all one last time.
“Goodbye, everyone.”
And then he was gone.
Out of the house, walking down towards the gate.
Atsushi looked to Dazai again, still concerned.
“Dazai-“
He didn’t get a chance to say much, as Dazai waited only a moment more before stiffly turning around, going somewhere deeper in the house.
Atsushi hadn’t been able to find him for the rest of the night.
He seemed to be back to normal the next morning, smiling and teasing as he always did, but Atsushi could tell something was off.
There was a heavy air of sorrow to him, under his regular demeanor. There’d be times when Atsushi saw him staring forward, eyes blank. His bandages, which Dazai had always been covered nearly head to toe in, were changed far more often than usual in the following days.
It was strange. Atsushi didn’t even understand some of the strange behaviors, such as the frequent fresh bandages.
But Atsushi did understand that Dazai was upset about Oda leaving. Goodbyes were always hard, after all.
Even so, whatever Dazai was feeling seemed deeper than that. Perhaps everyone just handled these things differently.
In any case, Atsushi just hoped that Dazai knew that Oda was probably living a happy life outside now. Meeting new people. Fulfilling his dreams.
For Dazai’s sake, Atsushi hoped that Oda, out of all their other siblings before him, would be the one to send them a letter.
——————————
1 Year Later
“It’s time to wake up! Get ready and head downstairs for breakfast!”
Atsushi blinked awake, groggily rolling over in bed. As always, days in Gracefield House started at six in the morning. And for specifically Atsushi and the rest of kids in his room, it started with a loud, sleep shattering wake up call from Doppo Kunikida.
He pushed himself up, turning his body to place his feet on the floor and raise himself out of bed. Stretching with a yawn, he watched Kunikida continue his morning rant.
The boy in question stood at the front of the room with his arms crossed, posture firm as ever. In one hand he held his beloved notebook. He always carried it with him, writing down everything from plans to random facts he learned. Most importantly, above all else, that notebook stored his ideals, which Kunikida had practically sworn to live by. Atsushi didn’t know exactly what they were. He’d asked once, out of curiosity, but soon discovered that Kunikida’s list of ideals was far lengthier and far more strangely specific than the boy had wanted to know. But as extensive and as...interesting as they were, it was clear to see the core of them in Kunikida’s daily behavior. His adherence to the house’s schedule, his diligence, and how he put every bit of effort into everything he did, it shined through as clear as day.
It was visible even in the way he looked now. The longer parts of the blond’s hair were already pulled back into a neat ponytail, reaching quite a bit down his shoulders. His glasses, surely already clean by now, were perched perfectly straight on his face. It was clear that he always woke far before them, and with how drowsy Atsushi felt now, he couldn’t even begin to fathom how Kunikida could do it every day.
“...and when I say that breakfast is at seven, it means you should be in the dining hall at or before seven, not waking up by then!”
A second or so later, Kunikida was storming towards the bed next to Atsushi’s, towards person that that part of the rant had been directed too, the only person in the room who was still in bed, seemingly still sleeping, unbothered by Kunikida’s yelling
“Dazai! Get up!”
When all he got in response was a loud snore, he grabbed Dazai by the shoulders, roughly shaking him. Dazai yelped, messily waving his hands in an attempt to swat Kunikida away. When Kunikida finally let go, the brunette rolled over on his side, dragging his hands down in his face.
“Kunikida!” The boy whined dramatically. “I was in the middle of a very pleasant dream! Do you know how rude it was of you to interrupt that?”
Kunikida simply rolled his eyes.
“I couldn’t care less. It’s time to get up, you better not be late again!” He walked off, beginning his next morning venture of trying to wrangle Katai out of the blanket he insisted on wrapping around himself all day.
Dazai sat up, yawning and turning towards Atsushi.
“The injustice, Atsushi, the injustice.”
The gray haired boy sighed.
“Good morning to you too, Dazai.”
——————————
Much to Kunikida’s displeasure, through falling back asleep, getting changed slowly, and splashing water on himself, causing him to need to change again, Dazai managed to be late to breakfast another day, dragging Atsushi, who’d also been splashed, with him.
“D-Dad, we’re sorry, w-we didn’t mean to be late, there was just an accident with some water, and we had to change, and...”
Atsushi waved his hands frantically as he tried to explain the situation to Father. Dazai, on the other hand, seemed rather pleased with himself, standing next to Atsushi with an amused expression on his face. Before he could continue with his nervous ramblings, Father chuckled and waved a hand, cutting him off.
“It’s alright, I understand. It’s just breakfast, you don’t need to get so worried. Go sit and eat, I’m sure you’re both hungry.”
With dark, slicked back hair and ever-neat clothing, Father Mori was the very picture of professionalism. He was strict as well, particularly when it came to things like studying and getting the children to sleep on time. That being said, there were plenty of things he let them get away with too, every once in a while.
He wasn’t their real father.
With a quick thanks, Atsushi hurried down the dining hall, over to where he usually sat, Dazai in tow, which thankfully still had two empty seats open.
“You’re welcome for saving your seats again.”
Atsushi nodded gratefully, turning to face her.
“Oh, yeah, thanks Yosano.”
Yosano sat across from him, dressed in the same Gracefield-White as the rest of them. Their clothes were all the same, a long sleeved white button up shirt paired with a white skirt or pair of pants, for the girls and boys respectively. Sweaters were optional, and were usually only worn as the months started to get colder. As it’d reached January, most of the children had one on or carried one with them in the house. The only other accessory that she wore was a gold butterfly clip, a gift from Mori, placed on the left side of her dark purple bob.
“It’s not that big of a deal, it’s not like anyone tries to sit there or anything.”
While the children usually only wore sweaters as it got colder, Ranpo wore one year round, loosely draped over his shoulders like a cape. It would be inconvenient to someone who was often physically active, but Ranpo usually preferred to sit down with a book and a bag of stolen sweets from the kitchen.
Ranpo sat on the other side of the table as well, next to Yosano. He wasn’t even looking at Atsushi when he spoke, piercing a blueberry from his plate and biting into it. Uneven dark hair framed his face, some of it falling in front of his eyes.
“Still, I appreciate it.”
Atsushi lifted his fork, beginning to tear off a piece of the fried egg on the plate in front of him. Kunikida, sitting on the other side of Yosano, sighed.
“I expect this sort of stuff from Dazai, but I don’t like how this is becoming a common thing for you too, Atsushi. He’s a bad influence.”
On Atsushi’s right Dazai took a break from seemingly pushing the food around on his plate to bring a hand to his chest and gasp loudly in mock offense.
“Me? A bad influence? Never!”
From Atsushi’s other side someone else spoke up.
“Atsushi’s not late that often, Kunikida. And if it wasn’t for him, Dazai’d probably be even later in the first place.”
Junichirou Tanazaki, one part of the Tanazaki “sibling” duo, would often try to reason with Kunikida in these situations, even if he emphasized with him.
“Yeah, don’t be so hard on him, it’s probably Dazai’s fault anyways.”
Naomi, the other Tanizaki sibling, leaned forward to look down the table at them, a grin on her face. Her long black hair fell on the table as she leaned, almost falling into her plate before Junichirou moved it away.
They’d always been close growing up, and had stuck together since. Junichirou has always been fiercely protective of Naomi, going as far to proclaim them as actual siblings one day, on Naomi’s fifth birthday. Naomi went along with it, saying that her last name was now Tanizaki and refusing to respond if anyone, including Father, said otherwise. The two certainly hadn’t come to the conclusion out of appearance, with Junichirou’s red hair compared to Naomi’s black, and his brown eyes compared to her blue, but however it came to be, their proclamation as siblings was apparently strong enough to last even to this day.
They weren’t real siblings, none of them were. They were all different in size, personality, and appearances.
They were orphans, and Gracefield House was an orphanage. Father was their caretaker. They stayed here until they were eventually adopted by a family from the outside world, before they turned thirteen.
But even though they weren’t related by blood, Atsushi couldn’t describe Father and the other children as anything but family. And Gracefield House was his home.
“You’re all traitors.” Dazai mumbled, tapping his fork against the yolk of his egg, a pout on his face. Kunikida sighed.
“Stop playing with your food. At this rate breakfast will be over before you eat anything. It’s important to eat enough to give you the energy you need. And you shouldn’t just eat the sweet stuff either.” He shot a look to Ranpo, who stuck his tongue out at him before quickly stealing a few blueberries from Junichirou’s plate, earning a cry of protest from the younger boy.
Dazai didn’t seem to take Kunikida’s advice, finally smashing the yolk with his fork and letting it run down the rest of the egg. Kunikida sighed, returning to his own breakfast.
“And another thing, you wrapped your bandages too high again. It’s covering your number.”
Dazai looked up from his plate at that.
“Hm? Really?”
Atsushi glanced over to him. Sure enough, the bandages on Dazai’s neck were cutting off the bottom half of his number. Father had lectured him quite often on it before. Atsushi was a bit surprised he hadn’t said anything today. Dazai grabbed the edge of the bandages at the top, tugging them down further on his neck.
“That better?”
Atsushi gave him a nod of affirmation, mouth currently occupied with chewing a piece of egg.
The black digits were now fully visible, stretching across the left side of Dazai’s neck.
41425.
They all had numbers.
Kunikida.
22425.
Yosano.
29325.
Ranpo.
68325.
Junichirou.
34525.
Naomi.
74525.
Atsushi himself.
18425.
Every child in the orphanage had one. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, to them at least.
——————————
Breakfast ended soon enough, quickly cleaned up by a few children who’d been assigned to help that morning. The others made their way to the classroom. Atsushi passed through the rows of desks until he reached his own. He slid into his seat, and picked up the pair of headphones off of the screen in front of him, waiting patiently until the rest of the children filed in, and Father stepped over to the light switch.
“You may turn on your screens,” the lights flicked off, “and begin.”
Following the instructions, Atsushi slipped his headphones on and flicked on the screen, focusing on the bright light in front of him.
The daily test.
Tailored to each age level, the daily test stood in as their schooling at Grace Field. The questions were multiple choice, and to answer them they only had to use the scanner provided at their desk to mark each bar code of the answer they saw as correct. Two sections, sixty questions each. One hundred twenty questions in total. The next three hours are full of tense concentration, and the sounds of the questions being read and the confirmations of the scans through their headphones.
And then, the lights turn on again.
Many of the children let out sighs of relief, tugging their headphones off and turning their screens off again. Chatter rose in the room as the children grouped together, talking about how they think they did and what they got stuck on. Father left the room, returning with a few sheets of paper in hand. He cleared his throat, quieting the children as their attention turned towards him. The last step in the daily test. The announcements of perfect scores.
“Starting with the twelve year-olds...” Father held a finger on the paper, trailing it down briefly to read the results. “Ranpo, Dazai, Kunikida, and Yosano. Congratulations on getting a perfect score. Well done, all of you.”
An approving smile came to his face.
It was no surprise, really. Kunikida, Ranpo, and Dazai, had been getting perfect scores quite consistently for a while now. To Atsushi, it wasn’t hard to see why, although for each of them it was a different reason. Kunikida was relentless in his studies, diligently spending hours mulling over various textbooks each day. Dazai, also one to read often, seemed to be just as smart through his own means. He was analytical, and nothing but thorough in his solutions. As amazing as they both were, Ranpo was another case entirely. Ever since he first stepped foot in Grace Field, he’d been a natural genius. His deductions were flawless. The way he thought about things just seemed to be on a different level.
Yosano got perfect scores often, but not all the time. It wasn’t because of a lack in intelligence, by any means. Yosano just centered her studies more on biology and other sciences rather than a more well rounded focus.
Atsushi watched them a few rows down. Dazai was turned around in his seat, rocking the chair back and forth as he teased Kunikida, attempting to tie the cords of the scanner and headphones from the blond’s desk together. Kunikida, in turn, slapped Dazai’s hands away, glaring as he loudly scolded the boy. Ranpo sat, tapping his foot against the floor, clearly just waiting until they were allowed to leave the room again. Yosano was tidying her desk area, putting everything back into place with a small smile. In the back of the row Katai sat hunched in his own seat, arms crossed as he grumbled about being the only twelve year old who hadn’t gotten a perfect score that day.
Atsushi was brought out of his focus at the sound of his name.
“...Atsushi, well done.”
He quickly turned around again, looking up to Father.
“I- Huh?”
Father simply chuckled, waving the paper he was holding.
“You got a perfect score. It’s your fourth one this month, right? Congratulations.”
“O-Oh, right, thank you, Dad.” He nodded his head sheepishly, folding his hands in his lap.
He picked up on Dazai’s mumble, which he knows is deliberately spoken just loud enough for Atsushi to hear.
“Doesn’t seem like it, with that air headed behavior.”
Atsushi’s face flushed with embarrassment. He could hear Dazai’s grin without even having to look. He groaned, resting his forehead on the edge of his desk in front of him.
Despite having already moved on, and despite the quiet volume, Father seemed to pick up on it anyways.
“Now, now, Dazai. Let’s not tease poor Atsushi like that.”
He always seemed to pick up on those kinds of things. Atsushi wasn’t sure that Father had hear exactly what Dazai had said. He merely knew his children that well.
——————————
After doing the laundry and eating lunch, they were finally free to play outside. Even though it was still the middle of winter, the children hadn’t lost a drop of energy. They hurried outside, scarfs hastily wrapped around their necks. While it was colder, snow was a rare sight in Grace Field. That made today all the more special, as snow softly fell across the house and it’s surrounding field and forest. It wasn’t enough to start piling up on the ground, merely speckling the grass if it didn’t melt away. No matter how small, however, the sight of snow only seemed to feed into the kids excitement.
The younger children ran out, stumbling outside joyfully to try and catch snowflakes on their tongues. Others simply held their cupped hands out, watching with wonder as the snowflakes seemed to vanish upon touching their skin. Atsushi watched on with a smile. Days with snow were always pleasant ones.
There was a small tug on his sweater. Looking down, he was greeting with large, dark blue eyes, a small, round face, silhouetted with long black hair that ran into two low ponytails. Atsushi smiled again, even warmer than before.
“Oh, hello Kyouka.”
Kyouka Izumi was one of the younger kids, only four years old. She’d just started taking the daily tests on her birthday. The girl was quiet, but also sweet. She’d seemed to have become quite attached to Atsushi, following him around at free time when she could.
Yosano had told him how similar it was to how Atsushi would follow his older siblings when he was her age. With Naomi and Junichirou only being a year younger than him, and Dazai, Ranpo, Yosano, and Kunikida being two years older, it was the first time he truly felt reminded that he was an older brother.
“Hi. It’s snowing. Does that mean we’ll be able to build snowmen again?” said Kyouka, giving Atsushi’s sweater another small tug.
Atsushi gave a small laugh, crouching down to be eye level with her.
“Not yet. It’s got to snow for a while until we have enough of it for that.”
She nodded in understanding, although Atsushi could see a small pout on her face. He tried his best to hold back another small laugh.
“It’s okay, even with this much snow there’s still things we can do. Have you tried catching a snowflake on your tongue? It looks like the others haven’t gotten many yet.”
He pointed to the group of children nearby, sticking their tongues out up at the sky and stumbling back and forth in their attempts to land one on their tongues.
In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the smartest idea for them to be doing this on the uneven ground of the small hill near the house. Such was proven so as not long after Atsushi had spoken, there was a short shriek, as one of the children tripped, falling down the rest of the hill. The other children turned their attention to the boy, quickly forgetting their earlier task. They rushed over to him, some calling out in concern.
“Alright, alright, don’t crowd him. Let me have a look.”
Yosano parted through the crowd of children, her small medical kit in hand. Another gift from Mori, given to her when she’d expressed her interest in the medical field. She carried it with her whenever they were outside. Reaching the boy, she kneeled down to look at him, opening up the case.
“I’m okay, don’t worry! I feel fine!” The boy, Kenji, responded cheerfully, sitting up and brushing the grass off his palms. Yosano hummed, rolling up the boy’s pant leg to inspect one of his knees that’d looked to have hit the ground especially hard.
“That’s good. But you did get a scrape here, so I’ll clean it up and put a bandaid on it. Then you can go back to playing, alright?”
Kenji nodded, smile as sunny as always. Yosano was quick with her work, giving the boy a small warning about the disinfectant’s sting before applying it, finishing off with a big, square, adhesive bandaid.
“If it falls off, come back to me and I’ll put a new one on, alright?”
Kenji nodded. Yosano smiled back at him, ruffling his hair.
“Thank you!” Kenji beamed at her.
“Just be more careful. You don’t want to scrape both of your knees.”
“Don’t worry, I will!”
Kenji sprang up, energetic as ever. Even when he was young, the boy had never cried when he was hurt, only smiling along and waiting until he was patched up. He never seemed to be at a loss for joy. Even his appearance seemed to scream sunny innocence, from his soft blond hair, to the light freckles that dotted his cheeks, to his bright golden eyes.
“He does need to be more careful.”
Kyouka mumbles from beside him. Atsushi gave her a reassuring smile.
“I’m sure he tries his best.”
“He should try harder.”
Atsushi wasn’t able to hold back his giggle now. The way Kyouka showed concern for her friend was... unique sometimes, to say the least. Undeterred by Atsushi’s laughter, she walked over to Kenji, starting up a conversation with him.
Not long after they’d been let outside, they gathered on the hill, under the tree at the center of it. No matter what time of the year it was, it was never too cold nor too hot for the children’s favorite game: tag. With one person as “it”, the vast grounds of Grace Field were free game to run and hide in. The child selected as “it”, was usually an older one, and today it was...
“I’ll be “it” for today. Better make the best of your head start, even if it probably won’t do you much in the end!”
“Ranpo’s gonna be “it”, huh?” Dazai smirked, standing next to Atsushi with his hands in his pockets. “Looks like it’s gonna be a real tough game for us.”
Atsushi nodded in agreement.
“Yeah. I wonder how long we’ll be able to last this time...”
Yosano was the only one to sit out, taking on the role of timekeeper. The only way to win would be to have at least one person survive without being caught for twenty minutes. There’d been many close games in the past. The game felt like it could always end either way. But against Ranpo...
“Alright, enough with the chit chat, I’m going to start counting now!”
They hadn’t won once.
——————————
Running through the woods, Atsushi felt alive. The breeze on his face, the ambience of the forest, the familiar movement, he enjoyed all of it. The forest surrounding Grace Field was widespread, and full of countless details, yet Atsushi and the others knew it like the backs of their hands. It was almost as familiar to them as the house was.
That said, it was limited. Atsushi stopped running for a moment, coming to a halt. He’d gone deep enough to reach the fence. It was simple, made of black painted metal, coming up to a few inches under Atsushi’s chest. On the other side was a forest, almost non-distinguishable from the one they’d known for so long. But it was much more.
Beyond that fence was the outside world.
Atsushi backed up, running close to it, but distancing himself. They weren’t allowed to go past the fence. It was one of Father’s rules.
The reason behind it didn’t really matter, as much as some of the children, Dazai, liked to prod and ask about it. It was a rule they’d known since they were able to walk in the forest unsupervised. While the forest was free to them, there were to places they had to avoid. The fence, and the gate, where they would be taken to their adopted families.
Atsushi slowed again, stopping. He’d been coming too close to the path to the gate too. He sighed. Dazai had been right. He really was being air headed today. Sure enough, he could see the break in the fence up ahead, the dirt path leading to the building, and...a young girl with long, curly blond hair with a red bow in it. He rushed out of the woods, calling out to her.
“Elise! You’re not supposed to go out there!”
She turned around with a huff, blue eyes glaring at them.
“Of course someone had to catch me! And of course it had to be a stick in the mud like you!” Elise pointed a finger at him accusingly.
He put a hand to the back of his head sheepishly, stopping in front of her.
“Sorry, but Dad says-“
“Oh come on! It’s my last day here after all, I want to see the outside at least once!”
That’s right. Today, January fourteenth, marked on the House’s calendar, was Elise’s adoption day.
“I already suffered through my last boring test here, so at least let me do something fun!”
“Elise-“
Atsushi raised his arms in defense, but never got to finish his sentence, as they were interrupted by a rustling sound followed by a tap on his back and Elise’s shoulder. Atsushi whipped around, only to see Ranpo smirking behind them.
“Caught you.”
Elise cried out in frustration. Shortly after, the two began making their way through the forest, back towards the hill they’d started at. Atsushi shot one last glance to the path. To be honest, he did feel guilty about stopping Elise.
After all, he’d been to the gate once.
——————————
Six Years Ago
Atsushi had been young at the time, only four, just barely old enough to be allowed in the woods alone. The invitation to join the game of tag had been too tempting to turn down, he’d spent far too long just watching them from the clearing. However, he seemed to be in a bit over his head now, as he wandered utterly lost in the forest. At the beginning he ran off randomly, just as he’d seen all of his siblings do when they started the game. Unfortunately for him, he hadn’t thought about how they actually knew the forest, and how to navigate it.
He anxiously picked at the edges of his sleeves as he clambered through the forest. His foot caught on a root, causing him to loose his balance, flailing forward. Atsushi had been able to stable himself in time, but it only added to the building panic in him. Sniffling, he continued forwards. Father had always managed to find the others when they were lost before, but what if he wasn’t able to find Atsushi? What if Atsushi had to wander hopelessly through the forest into the night, and had to sleep on the dirt? What if they never found him and Atsushi starved and-
The boy’s head snapped up. Voices. Close by.
He gasped with relief, immediately running towards the source, yelling for help. Honestly, he didn’t care who it was, even if it was the seeker. Atsushi was just relieved that he wouldn’t die alone in the woods here. So relieved, in fact, that he barely noticed as he flew past the opening in the fence to reach the voices.
Standing there was a group of three, Oda, Dazai, and Ango. They seemed to have been walking on the path, but were now all facing Atsushi. Atsushi couldn’t find it in him to care about whatever they were doing, rushing over to them with tears streaming down his face.
“I...I g-got lost!” He managed to speak through his sobs, graciously running into Oda’s arms after he kneeled and opened them. The other two awkwardly stood in the background, watching Oda reassure the boy until he calmed down.
“I told you we were being to loud!” hissed Ango, turning to Dazai. The other boy shrugged in response.
“You were talking too. Plus, the chances of someone being all the way out here were low.” Dazai crossed his arms.
“Apparently not low enough.” Ango rolled his eyes.
“Stop fighting for a bit.” Oda put a hand up, silencing the two of them. “We should get Atsushi back with the others.”
“We can’t do that! We’re using the game as cover, it’d look weird if we went back halfway.” said Dazai, looking at Oda with wide eyes.
“We can go another day.” Oda wiped the tears from Atsushi’s eyes.
“But you have plans to go play with one of those other little kids every day for like, the next month!” Dazai whined, shaking Ango by the shoulders next to him to emphasize his point. Ango, discontent with being shaken like a rag doll, pushed him away.
It was then that Atsushi finally seemed to get his bearings, noticing that they were past the fence.
“What are you doing out here?” He looked between the three of them curiously, leaning further away from Oda to do so.
Ango opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Dazai, who kneeled down in front of Atsushi with the light of an idea in his eyes.
“We’re on a secret mission. We can only tell you if you promise not to tell anyone, okay?” Dazai held his hand out with his pinkie pointed towards Atsushi.
“Dazai-“ Ango sighed. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“If we can’t take him back, we’ll just take him with us.” said Dazai, with a grin on his face. “So, Atsushi, do you promise?”
Atsushi hesitated for a moment, before giving a firm nod, locking his own, smaller pinkie finger with Dazai’s. “I promise.”
“Alright!” Dazai stood again, speaking cheerfully. “We’re going to go look at the gate.”
Atsushi gaped.
“But that’s... Dad says we’re not supposed to!”
“It’s just a quick look. It’ll be fine!” said Dazai, already beginning to continue down the path. Ango followed after him, shooting a small glance to Atsushi.
“If you don’t want to come, you can stay here, and we’ll take you back when we’re done.” Oda offered, standing back up. “But if you’re curious, you can come. Dad probably won’t even notice.”
Atsushi though for a moment, before beginning to step down the path.
“I’ll come.”
His legs felt like jello as he walked down the path with the others. It felt like that at any moment, Father would come from behind them and scold them for breaking his rules. But even so, Atsushi couldn’t deny that he was curious about what the gate looked like. Although, even more than that, even if he was just standing still, he didn’t want to be alone.
They could see the building in full long before they reached it. It was large and imposing, constructed out of countless rows of red breaks. The sides of it were attached to concrete walls, continuing on out of sight. The black metal gate was nearly as tall as the whole building. Atsushi couldn’t even imagine what would be large enough to need a gate of that size.
Reaching the gate, Dazai walked up to the metal bars, wrapping his hands around them. Oda and Ango did so as well, peering into the dark abyss the gate seemed to melt into. Atsushi chose to stay back. Something about the gate felt...off, to the boy.
“So, this is it?” said Oda, looking the gate up and down.
“It’s weird.” Ango stepped back from the bars for a moment, looking back to check the windows built into the walls. “None of the lights are on. It’s almost like it’s abandoned.”
“Maybe people only come when they need to use the gate, like on adoption days.” Atsushi said quietly.
“Beyond this is the outside world, right?” Dazai spoke suddenly. The way he brought up the question almost felt out of place.
“Yeah. Can’t really see much of it from here though.” said Oda, giving up at trying to peer past the darkness of the gate’s inside. “You think it’s everything like it is in the books?”
While they weren’t allowed to go outside until they were adopted, they were still able to see what it was like. The House’s library was their only source, full of different portals that let them see small snippets of the outside world. There was so much that they had become excited to see, and yet so much they didn’t know.
“Well, it probably is. All those books had to be right somewhere.” said Ango, shrugging.
“What do you guys want to do once you get out?” Dazai asked curiously, eyes still fixed past the gate, deep into the tunnel that laid beyond it.
“Well, I haven’t really though about something specific.” said Ango, adjusting his round glasses. “I guess the first thing I would want to do would be to see all the things we can’t see here, like cities and mountains. What about you, Oda?”
“I want to visit a curry shop.” said Oda bluntly, with full seriousness.
“Eh? That’s it?” Ango stared at Oda as he nodded back. He turned around, facing Atsushi, who lingered at the back of the group. “What about you, Atsushi? Have you thought of anything you want to do outside? You’ve been quiet back there?”
“Me?” He pointed at himself, admittedly a bit surprised to be addressed directly out of the blue, when he’d been somewhat spacing out. The boy thought for a moment, then took a step closer to the gate, folding his heads timidly. “I wanna see a tiger. Like in the picture books.”
Dazai laughed, finally looking away from the gate.
“You guys have an odd bunch of goals. Going to a city, eating curry at a curry shop, seeing an animal, they’re all so simple.” said Dazai with a grin.
Oda shrugged.
“I’d say they’re fine. But you can’t really say that if you haven’t even told us yours.” said Oda, looking to Dazai with the other two children expectantly.
Dazai looked back to the gate again, bringing a finger to his lips and rocking back and forth slightly on his feet.
“Mmm, it’s a secret.” He singsonged.
“Really? If you’re not even going to tell us then don’t make fun of ours.” said Ango, rolling his eyes. “But at least we see the gate here. All of those things are on the other side.”
“It is weird though. The height of it is the strangest thing to me.” said Oda, reaching his hand as far as he could raise it up the bars. “I wonder what they would need all that space for.”
Atsushi nodded, having though the same thing himself. Dazai, on the other hand, shook his head.
“I think the weirdest thing is that it can’t be opened from this side.” said Dazai, expression unreadable. “It’s as if even if we wanted, or needed to leave, we’d have no way out on our own.”
The four were silent for a moment, thinking over Dazai’s words. It didn’t seem like too much of a big deal to Atsushi, maybe Father just didn’t want one of the kids opening it on accident and getting lost. The other two seemed similarly confused.
“Ah, it’s boring here. Let’s go back already.” Dazai turned around on his heel, his serious demeanor switching with the movement. “Plus, we should go before we get caught by Father. I don’t want to deal with all that.”
Oda and Ango agreed, beginning to walk the path back to the house. Atsushi followed behind them before slowly stopping, turning back to look at the gate. The sound of wind in his ears had never felt louder.
“Atsushi?” Dazai called after him. “Are you coming, or are we going to have to leave you here for Father to come catch you?”
“I’m coming!” Atsushi responded frantically, running over to catch up with them.
Even so, he shot one last glance to the gate over his shoulder. Something about it, about the outside world beyond it was...eerie.
Atsushi tried his best to shake the feeling away.
——————————
“...and then stupid Atsushi had to come out of nowhere and get both of us caught!”
Even while braiding Naomi’s hair and pinning frilly, colorful ribbons in it, Elise maintained a fiery glare as she loudly complained.
“I was just trying to have some fun. What’s Father going to even do? Give me some more extra homework? I’m leaving today anyways.”
Naomi laughed, tilting her head to look at Elise behind her.
“You’ll also get to see the gate today too. It’s alright.”
“Look that way! Your braid’s gonna be crooked!” Elise scolded Naomi, momentarily halting her work.
Naomi complied with a small apology.
“Don’t pull so hard, you’ll hurt her.” warned Junichirou warily, from where he sat near the two girls.
“It’s fine, she’s doing great.” Naomi reassured him. Even so, Elise apologized quickly.
“But you’re right, that I’ll get to see the gate. I guess it’s okay then. I forgive you Atsushi.” said Elise, not looking up as she pinned another bow into Naomi’s forming braid.
“Thanks.” Atsushi responded simply. He sat next to Junichirou, legs crossed.
“...but I still didn’t want to lose the game like that! I changed my mind, I don’t forgive you Atsushi!”
Atsushi sighed, hanging his head. Junichirou put a hand on his shoulder out of sympathy.
“Well, Atsushi did do the right thing by stopping you. Going to the gate is against the rules.”
“Kunikida?” said Naomi, turning to look at the newest arrival of the caught children.
“I said to keep your head still!” Elise gave Naomi’s hair a light tug. “And, at least it wasn’t you who found me. You’re way lamer than Atsushi.”
“I- huh?” Kunikida put a hand to his chest, somewhat indignant.
“She’s right about that.” A voice from behind Kunikida snickered. “You are really lame.”
Approaching the group was a boy with short cropped brown hair and gold-brown eyes. Another of Atsushi’s younger siblings, by three years, Rokuzo.
“Following the rules isn’t ‘lame’, it’s-“ Kunikida began, before he was cut off by Yosano, who’d also wandered over, stopwatch in hand.
“So, you got caught again? You lasted a bit longer than usual.” She smiled, waving the watch in her hand.
“He cut me off near the pond.” Kunikida nodded with a groan. “I knew he was close too, but it’s still like he came out of nowhere.”
Atsushi looked around the clearing, which had become quite full again.
“That’s almost everyone, right?” He said, looking to Yosano. “The only one left is...”
“Dazai.” She nodded, giving a small laugh. “It always seems to end up like this when Ranpo is “it”, doesn’t it?”
“I wonder how long they’ll be able to keep this going this time.” said Junichirou, tilting his head back, looking up at the clear blue sky. To Kyouka’s dismay, it’d stopped snowing halfway through their game.
“It always takes a while.” Naomi agreed, praising Elise as she finished the braid. “When it comes to physical ability, they’re about the same.”
“These standoffs they have probably look a lot less cool in person.” Rokuzo smirked, putting his hands into the pockets of his sweater. “They’re both probably wheezing out there right now.”
“Well, they’re not exactly the same.” Kunikida pulled out his notebook from his back pocket, flicking it open. “Dazai’s physical ability is better than Ranpo’s by a decent amount.”
“Mhm.” Yosano hummed. “But while Dazai has a decent bit over Ranpo physically, when it comes to brains...”
“Ranpo’s a whole mile ahead.” Kunikida finished.
“Doesn’t mean it won’t take them forever to hurry it up though.” said Naomi, shifting behind Elise to begin braiding her hair as well.
Sure enough, they waited in the field for about ten more minutes before Dazai walks out from the treeline, Ranpo following behind him with a grin on his face.
“Looks like I’m still undefeated.” said Ranpo, hopping over to the group with his hands behind his head.
“I’m glad you were able to pull out a win against a group of kids that are almost all younger than you.” Yosano rolled her eyes with a smirk, stopping the time on the stopwatch. “With four minutes left too.”
“Not all of them are younger than me.” pouted Ranpo, crossing his arms with a frown. “And even with that, a win’s still a win. It’s like I always say: all’s well that’s well for me!”
His grin had returned as he recited his personal motto, bringing a long sigh from Kunikida. Dazai made it over to the group too, collapsing on the ground between Kunikida and Atsushi.
“Another loss. At this rate I’m going to be adopted before we ever manage to win.” He groaned, head laying on the grass.
“I’ve always wondered, how is Ranpo so good at tag?” Atsushi asked, turning to Dazai curiously. “He’s physically one of the weakest of us, and while he is smart, we’ve got a lot of other smart people on our side too.”
“Strategy.” mutters Dazai, picking himself up from the ground to relax into a sitting position. “Strategy and his deductions. He’s able to notice and pick up on any clues we leave behind, which allows him to deduce where we’re heading, and then he forms a strategy. It’s more complicated than just cutting us off somewhere though- he predicts how we’ll act in certain situations, like where we’ll run if we see him, and builds the strategy around that. Being able to see ahead like that is what makes him so good.”
“But...it’s just tag...” said Atsushi, looking at Ranpo with a bit of disbelief.
“Well, it’s not fun if I just play it normally.” Ranpo dug in his pocket, popping a piece of candy in his mouth. “Doing stuff like this is the only way to make it not boring.”
“If he played it normally he’d also lose a lot more.” Yosano snickered.
“Hey!” Ranpo pointed at her, indignant. “You’re all just jealous because I’m so good at this!”
“Agh, this isn’t fair at all!” cried Elise, standing up. “If you’re so confident that you can always beat all of us, why don’t we turn it around? We’ll all be “it”, and you have to survive for the twenty minutes!”
“Oh? Sounds good to me.” Ranpo’s eyes opened briefly, bright green glittering with the excitement of a challenge.
“Why haven’t we thought of that before?” Junichirou wondered allowed, standing up.
“She’s creative.” said Naomi simply, finishing Elise’s braid, tying it with the red ribbon she’d removed from the girl’s hair when she began.
“When she wants to be.” Kunikida fixed Elise with a look. “You should’ve put more of that effort into studying and your daily test.”
“But why? I don’t care about that stuff anyways.” Elise stood up, pulling the braid over her shoulder to admire it. “I just pick randomly to get it over with. Once I get outside, I won’t need any of it! I’m going to make pretty dresses and draw all day!”
Kunikida sighed, putting his fingers to the bridge of his nose.
“It’s still important. I’m sure your lack of attention to your studies will come back to haunt you someday.” Kunikida tucked his notebook, which he’d since closed again, back into his pocket.
“Whatever, let’s start this thing already! We’re gonna win this time for sure!” Elise grinned.
With that, Ranpo was given the customary ten seconds, and Yosano started the stopwatch. Their next game of tag, Elise’s last, had begun.
Little to their knowledge, after they’d left the clearing to search the woods, Ranpo had circled back, climbing up the tree on the hill when Yosano hadn’t been looking. Halfway into the game she noticed, scolding him for being too mean to the younger kids, especially Elise, because it was her last day. Ranpo somewhat begrudgingly told her to lead the girl over to him then, so she could “find” him. A few minutes later Yosano returned, with Elise being carried on Junichirou’s back. She’d declared him her horse for the game. With a little bit of nudging, Elise happened to notice Ranpo above her, calling out with excitement that she’d finally found him. As the rest of the children flooded back to the clearing, Ranpo grumbled half heartedly about his “loss”, but gave Elise a piece of candy from his bag of sweets as a reward.
The rest of free time was spent peacefully, with most of the children splitting up to do their own things. Ranpo flipped through novels under the tree. Yosano and Kunikida got roped into a small game of Statues with Rokuzo. Naomi talked with Haruno, another girl her age she was quite close with. Atsushi and Junichirou played in a tic tac toe tournament organized by Dazai, joined by Katai, and Kohi, a pleasant girl Atsushi’s age with long dark brown hair held up in a bun. Katai has won, only to be beaten by Dazai in the “champion’s round”. The loss was apparently devastating enough for him to retreat back into the house, which to be fair, was quite a common response for Katai to most situations. Elise, done with tag, brought out her doll, a prized possession of hers, to play by herself, imagining the doll in all sorts of different scenarios.
It’d been a gift from Father, originally made nearly two years ago, fashioned to look just like Elise. At the girl’s demands Father had been diligent to update it, lengthening it’s hair as her own grew, making accessories that Elise wore herself, and crafting small clothes for the doll based on Elise’s drawings.
Whenever she held it, a warm smile came to her face.
But eventually, all days had to end. And, as all adoption days did, the day ended with Father at the door, letting their sibling say one final goodbye before they went to be with their new family in the outside world.
Elise stood in front of the door, dressed in color for the first time she could remember. A vest and a new skirt, paired with a pink bow at the neck of the white button up underneath and a black suit jacket. Her hair was undone, brushed clean one last time by Naomi. The girl’s usual deep red bow was absent from it, packed away in the suitcase she held at her side, as she stated that it didn’t go with the outfit. Her other hand held a tan hat to her chest. A smile was painted across her face.
“I had a lot of fun here! Even if studying bored me to sleep, I liked it here. I’m going to go to the outside world now, and I’m going to get so many new dresses, and shoes, and other stuff! But I’ll...I’ll...” Elise’s smile began to fall, eyes glistening as her bottom lip trembled. She was able to hold it in for a second more before she burst into tears, bawling. “I’ll miss you all so much!”
Father crouched down behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. Naomi, Kenji, and many of the other children surged forward, some with tears of their own, to comfort her, reciprocating her words. Elise simply cried, letting Father take her hat and suitcase as she spread her arms to embrace as many of her siblings as she could.
A while later, as Elise was able to compose herself, she took the suitcase back.
“I-I won’t be like the others, ok? I’ll make sure to actually write back! I’ll write tons and tons of letters! I’ll even send you pictures of my new dresses, ok?” declared Elise, rubbing her eyes with her free hand.
“Elise.” Father gave her a sympathetic smile. “It’s time to go now.”
The girl nodded, taking her hat from him and sniffling, before taking one big breath.
“You guys better not forget about me! I’ll meet you all again, when you get adopted too! So, goodbye, but just for now!”
And with that, she was gone. Out the door, disappearing into the night with the fading light of Father’s lantern.
As the crowd of children near the door began to dissipate, Atsushi noticed Dazai near the back of the crowd. He was humming quietly. Atsushi couldn’t remember when exactly he’d started, but as each adoptee left, Dazai would hum a quiet song. Atsushi had asked what it was once. Dazai only replied that it was a song.
As Yosano herded the younger children upstairs, Atsushi thought to himself. It’d always been hard to have to watch his siblings leave like that. No matter how many times it happened, it was always just as sad. Even more so, Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Yosano, And Katai were all twelve. Nobody could stay past thirteen. They’d all be adopted soon.
He’d known them all for almost his whole life, had laughed, cried, and smiled with them. Without even one of them, Atsushi wasn’t sure what he’d do.
It wasn’t even just them, he was ten. In two years, he’d leave no matter what. Even if it was in reality quite a long time, it wasn’t nearly enough time for Atsushi to ready himself to leave his home. He could even be adopted before then. In his time here, even as siblings came and went, Atsushi had come to see just about every one of them as his true family. He couldn’t imagine leaving to be with another one, to leave the home he’d known so well, the Father that’s cared for him, and the siblings that he lived with.
In short, the thought of leaving to the outside world terrified him.
He stumbled through his evening at the house, distracted by his thoughts, vaguely being present enough to tuck Kyouka into bed, only snapped back to himself by Kunikida’s calls.
“Atsushi, come on. You, Junichirou, and I have to clean up the dining hall tonight, remember?” Kunikida lightly tapped his shoulder.
“Oh, yeah, sorry. I’ve just been thinking.” Atsushi nodded.
“It’s alright.” Kunikida adjusted his glasses. “Days like this are always hard. But they’re hard for Dad too. The least we can do for him is make sure he can come back to a clean house.”
“We’ll come too.” said Dazai, Ranpo following behind him. “Don’t want to sleep just yet.”
“Just don’t be too much of a nuisance, you lazy bandage wasting machine.” Kunikida rolled his eyes.
They continued to bicker as the five made their way to the dining hall, to clean up the tables and finish doing the dishes. Atsushi entered the room, pushing through the door...
only to find Elise’s doll laying on one of the table in the center of the room, red bow and frilly red dress highlighting it even more against the white table cloths.
Atsushi’s face paled.
He rushed up to it, picking it up and turning to check that his eyes hadn’t made some sort of mistake, that it really was Elise’s doll that he was holding.
“Atsushi, what’s wrong?” asked Kunikida from behind him, who was unable to see the doll before Atsushi had grabbed it.
“S-She left her doll!” Atsushi turned to Kunikida, holding the doll out.
Now it was Kunikida’s turn to have his face pale, almost mirroring how Atsushi’s had.
“What?” Kunikida’s hands twitched franticly as he fretted over the sight of the doll. “Was she that excited to see the outside world that she forgot? She can’t focus on anything!”
“She’s gonna be so upset when she realizes.” said Junichirou, standing back with a broom in his hands. “And knowing Elise...she’s going to throw a fit about it too.”
“Is there really anything we can do about it now?” said Ranpo, shrugging. “I mean, she already left. The best we can do is tell Dad and see if he can send it to her or something.”
“But even going without it for that long, and not knowing that we’re going to send it to her...would Elise really be alright with that?” Atsushi brought the doll closer to him, squeezing it lightly. “I don’t want her last memories here to be bad ones.”
“Hm, y’know, when we were upstairs earlier the light from the gate was still on. I could see it from the window.” Dazai popped up behind Kunikida’s shoulder. “Father’s not back yet either, and he went with her, so...I bet you could sneak down to the gate and bring it to her before she leaves.”
“But we’re not allowed to go there! And we’re especially not allowed to leave at night!” Kunikida sputtered.
“It might be our only chance to get it to her before she noticed.” said Ranpo, walking closer to Atsushi. “I’ll come too. It’ll be fun to see the gate at least.”
“If that’s really the case, then I guess it’s what we have to do.” Kunikida sighed. “I agree, Atsushi. I wouldn’t want one of our siblings last days here to be one they’d regret.”
The one thing stronger than Kunikida’s will to stick to the rules was his will to stick to his ideals. Deeply ingrained in those ideals was the care he had for his family. It was only natural he’d come around to this.
“Alright, then it’s decided.” said Ranpo cheerfully, hopping over to the back door of the house, at the back of the dining hall.
“Doesn’t Dad lock up the house at night?” asked Junichirou, setting his broom against the wall and coming closer.
“I can pick the lock.” said Dazai helpfully.
“No need, I watched you that one time you did it on the cabinet in the kitchen.” Ranpo reached into the pocket of Dazai’s sweater, pulling out two picks and beginning his work.
“You were able to figure it out from watching?” Atsushi wondered aloud.
“That and a bit of thinking.” Ranpo replied.
“How’d you know I had those in my pocket?” Dazai asked with wide eyes, more curious about that specific detail than how Ranpo figured out lock picking.
“Like I said, I watched you that one time. You didn’t go somewhere else to get them, you had experience with it, and you always like getting into places you’re not supposed to be.” Ranpo explained, finishing with a jab.
A small click could be heard from the lock.
“There we go. We don’t know how much time we have left, so we should hurry up and start going already.” Ranpo handed the picks back to Dazai.
Nodding in agreement, the group began making their way out the door. Before he could leave, however, Junichirou was stopped by Dazai’s hand on his shoulder.
“Wait, Junichirou, you should stay here. If we have so many people go down to the gate, there’s a higher chance that they’ll get caught.” Dazai lightly pulled the boy back inside.
“Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. You’re not planning on going either, right?” he asked, noting that Dazai still remained on the other side of the doorway. “But...why me specifically?”
Dazai answered with a smile.
“You’re the youngest, after all.”
“We’ll see you when we get back, ok?” Atsushi offered.
Junichirou nodded, stepping back inside and beginning to close the door.
“Good thinking, Dazai. We’ll need someone to actually clean the dining hall.” Ranpo smirked.
Before Junichirou could reply, the door was already closed.
——————————
The gate looked just as Atsushi remembered it. Even as it was illuminated only by yellow lamplight, he could make out the red brick walls and tall opening of the gate. Nothing had changed at all. Nothing, except for the fact that now, the gate was open. The poles of the gate’s bottom hung in the air like teeth far above the children as they passed through.
It felt forbidden to step beyond the mouth of the gate, far more than it had felt to sneak past the fence all those years ago with Dazai, Oda, and Ango.
It was dead quiet in the gate’s hall. Doors lined the walls, windows barred. The only thing in the actual hall was a truck, back compartment covered by a curtain, with a sliver of an opening down the center.
Another thing that hadn’t changed was the feeling this place gave Atsushi.
Something was off.
This didn’t feel like a place where they would meet their new families.
From what Atsushi could see, Kunikida and Ranpo seemed to be feeling similarly uneasy, although if that was from the feeling the gate gave or the fact that they were breaking the rules, the boy couldn’t tell.
Kunikida walked up to the front of the truck, while Ranpo stuck to the walls, peeking through the spaces in between the bars on the windows to try and look at the rooms.
“She’s not in the truck.” said Kunikida quietly, after looking around for a moment.
“Maybe we could leave it in the back?” Atsushi suggested, moving towards the curtain at the back of the truck.
He reached it, untucking the doll from his arms before stopping dead in his tracks.
There, just snaking out of the slit in the curtain, was a lock of blonde hair.
“Atsushi-“ he heard Ranpo warn, but it was too late, the boy was already pulling back the curtain, he had to be mistaken, it was something else, maybe-
The doll dropped to the floor.
“Once I get outside, I won’t need any of it! I’m going to make pretty dresses and draw all day!”
“I-I won’t be like the others, ok? I’ll make sure to actually write back!”
“You guys better not forget about me! I’ll meet you all again, when you get adopted too! So, goodbye, but just for now!”
Lying in the back of the truck was Elise.
Except it wasn’t right.
Her neat outfit was crumbled. Her hair was strewn out under her messily. Her skin was pale, too pale, far paler than it had been when she left. Her deep blue eyes were open wide in shock, with all of their light drained out of them. There was a stain on her cheek. And, most wrong of all, a flower was sticking up from her chest, like a horrible misshapen spear to the heart, leading to a sickly crimson bloom.
Whatever it was had Elise’s face, her clothes, her features, but it couldn’t be her. Because Elise should be looking at him with a mischievous grin. She should be yelling at him for not letting her have her way, for not getting her doll to her sooner. She should be twirling in her new clothes, chatter about what she wanted to see in the outside world.
It was as if the world had gone silent. He didn’t hear Ranpo’s sharp intake of breath behind him, didn’t hear Kunikida’s mutters of disbelief. He didn’t hear one of them stepping back, or the sharp slap of a hand clamping over a mouth.
What he did hear, however, sent him hurdling back to reality, with sharp, cold, fear.
“Is someone there?”
A voice, deep and foreign, from somewhere else in the gate.
Ranpo was the first to react, dragging both of them under the truck with him. There was a sound of a door opening in the hall. Kunikida put a hand over his mouth, quieting his breaths. Atsushi didn’t think he was even breathing at all.
Footsteps and the sounds of rustling cloth echoed into the hall. The footsteps were heavy, each one like a deadly drumbeat to Atsushi’s heart, threatening to burst at any minute.
“Why’re you asking that?”
“I thought I heard voices, just now.”
“You’re hearing things. Probably some animal.”
“If it’s a rat or something, it’s mine.”
“Go ahead, I wouldn’t want to eat something like that anyways.”
Maybe it was out of morbid curiosity, maybe it was out of pure disbelief, Atsushi didn’t know. Where he got the courage to do it, he wasn’t sure either. He just found himself leaning closer, peaking out from under the truck to see where the voices had come from. Ranpo and Kunikida seemed to be doing the same next to him.
Atsushi immediately had to clamp a hand over his own mouth to silence the gasp that came from his throat involuntarily.
Standing in the hall were two creatures. Large, hulking, and misshapen, as if chunks of flesh had been crudely mashed together to make something that somewhat resembled a bipedal body. Each wore some sort of black garment, with tubes and belts attached to them. One’s hands formed into large, bulging fists while the other’s formed to long, bony fingers with equally long, chipped and crooked nails. Were the creatures face should be were rough, uneven masks with two horns, color and texture eerily similar to bone. Two eyes were aligned vertically in the center of the masks, bulging wide with small pupils and visible veins.
One of them, one with a longer neck and the claws, stepped closer to the truck. Atsushi was sure that they somehow knew that they were there, that they were going to pluck him out from under the truck and pierce his heart too.
However, the creature stopped at the back of the truck, not the side. There were a few more sounds of movement, as the creature stepped to close to the truck, out of sight. Once they could see it again, Atsushi felt sick. With a clawed hand it was holding Elise up by the back, limbs hanging limply as if she were a doll. Her hair hung forward, shrouding her face.
The boy watched in horror as the creature’s other hand went to move it’s mask to the side, revealing a mouth of sharp, crooked teeth. A long dark tongue snaked out of it as saliva pooled inside its maw.
“Even looking at it makes me hungry. There’s nothing better than human flesh.”
There was a sound of something heavy and metal being placed on the floor nearby.
It couldn’t be real.
These creatures.
Their vaguely human shapes.
Eating human flesh.
“Demons.” He could hear Kunikida whisper shakily beside him.
Demons were monsters from stories and fairytales. They weren’t supposed to be real.
But yet, no term better described the monsters in front of them now.
Was this why Father told them to never go to the gate or fence? Was this what was beyond it, lurking, waiting for a chance to snatch them up?
We shouldn’t have come here. I’m sorry, Dad, I’m so sorry-
Father. He’d come here with Elise, where was he? Was he okay? Or had the demons also killed him? Was he lying somewhere else, flower speared through his chest just like Elise?
“Surely they wouldn’t notice if I just took a little bit? Even just a finger?”
“Are you an idiot? Merchandise like this isn’t for those like us. Human flesh from this farm is for the rich.”
There was a sound of moving liquid. It took Atsushi a moment to realize the object that had been brought over earlier was a cylindrical tank, and that what had been dumped inside was Elise. Her limbs were stuck at awkward angles, her head just slightly touching the bottom of the tank. Loose leaves from the flower in her chest floated around her.
Merchandise?
Farm?
Human flesh?
It couldn’t-
Their dreams of going outside. The siblings they’d sent off with well wishes and tears. The happy life they lived here.
Was it all just for them to be eaten?
All three of them flinched as the click of a door opening cut through the air. Another demon joined the hall, shorter, more human-like, shroud in a black robe, holding a clipboard.
“Are you finished with the Gupna ceremony?”
“Just about.” One of the other demons answered, lumbering around to face the shorter demon.
“A six-year old, again?” The shorter demon mused, tapping a gnarled finger to his clipboard. “We’ve only been shipping the average ones as if late, but it looks like that’s about to change. Some extra-high grade ones will be ready for harvest soon. Prepare for the harvest of the ones with full marks.”
Another set of footsteps. Not as heavy as the demons’.
“I will see to it.”
Atsushi’s heart dropped.
Standing there, hands folded, cold expression across his face, was Father.
“The feed is in the storage. I’m looking forward to the next harvest.” Atsushi could barely register the shorter demon’s voice.
“I will not disappoint you.” Father’s tone was cold too, not a hint of the caring father they’d come to know while living here.
Time passed as the demons loaded the tank with Elise in it into the back of the truck. Father continued to discuss with the more human-like demon. Eventually one of the demons was behind the wheel of the truck, their work almost complete.
“Head out.” The shorter demon commanded.
Suddenly, something caught its attention. One if its bulging eyes twitched, looking toward the truck. It put up a hand.
“Wait.”
It turned to face the side of the truck.
“I smell something.”
Ever so painfully, the demon lowered its head to the floor.
But there wasn’t anything under the truck with a heartbeat.
——————————
Atsushi couldn’t even think as he ran. It wasn’t just the gate he wanted to run away from- this memory, the monsters, every bit of dread he felt- he wanted to flee from it, to curl up in a ball somewhere until it all faded away.
His heart was pounding in his ears, loud enough that Atsushi was positive his veins would burst from the pressure. Each of his footfalls felt too heavy, janky, and overall unnatural, as if it wasn’t even his own legs that he was moving. Even as they burst into the clearing, house in sight, he kept running just as fast as he had before.
Kunikida was running with the same intent, with the same urgency as Atsushi. His breaths were heavy and quick, something so out of the ordinary for someone like him. Atsushi had never seen him panic like this before.
Ranpo was wheezing, running at a slower pace, only due to his lack of stamina. Even so, he didn’t stop running.
The group was only brought to a halt as Atsushi stopped running, legs failing beneath him. He crumpled to the ground, face saved from slamming into it only by his elbows, which he’d put out in front of him on reflex.
“Atsushi!” called Kunikida, skidding to a stop. “Are you...”
Kunikida seemed to pause for a moment, thinking about his words.
“Are you hurt?”
There was silence between the three of them, or at least a lack of any verbal conversation. The children’s rough pants as they tried to catch their breaths made any real silence between them impossible.
“The demons. This house being a...farm. E-Elise, in the truck- Father.” Atsushi finally managed to get the words out, sitting up to look at his older brothers with an indescribable expression. “It wasn’t real, right? I-It was a mistake, or a dream, or, or our imagination. There’s no way it could be real...right?”
There was silence between the three of them again. Twin expressions of grief were painted on both Ranpo and Kunikida’s faces. Atsushi’s heart dropped again.
“It was real, Atsushi.” Ranpo’s voice was quiet, breaths still stilted from running, but it was firm. Unmistakable. “It was all real.”
Atsushi could feel himself shake silently for a moment, widened eyes looking forward aimlessly. Then, it all came crashing down, his face crumbled, and he screamed, with nothing but pure anguish. He curled in on himself, as the world, the home he’d come to know and love, was ruthlessly and permanently ripped away from him.
He could barely hear Kunikida drop to the grass with him, on his knees with his shoulders shaking. Even Ranpo couldn’t remain standing, sinking to the ground from both exertion and the weight of their true reality, which now crushed them unrelentingly. The three of them sat there on the grass for a small, unsaid time, as they mourned the loss of all they’d learned to be good.
“What’re we going to do?” asked Atsushi, voice barely the ghost of a whisper. He looked to the two of them.
For another horrible moment there was silence, and Atsushi could so clearly see the crushed look in Kunikida’s eyes, until Ranpo swallowed, before breaking the quiet again.
“We’re going to escape.”
With everything they’d seen that night, the statement should’ve been unbelievable. But the way Ranpo spoke, with conviction, it lit a fire in Atsushi’s core.
“We can do it, I’m sure.” Ranpo stood, albeit shakily. “Even if we’re up against demons, there has to a be a way out. We’ll find it. We’re not just going to lay down at let them eat us.”
“A way out?” Kunikida looked at Ranpo for a moment in disbelief, until his expression solidified into one of focus. “To find one, we’ll need more information.”
“There’s plenty of places to search.” Ranpo nodded firmly. “And once we find it, the three of us-“
“No!”
Both Kunikida and Ranpo turned to Atsushi, a bit surprised by his interruption.
“We can’t take just us. Even if we escape, it won’t stop.” Atsushi stumbled to his feet, moving closer to Ranpo and grabbing the edges of his sweater. “They’ll keep dying.”
His whisper was shaky. Wind rustled the grass in the following silence.
“So,” Atsushi finally found the courage to look up, staring Ranpo in the eyes with newfound determination, “we have to take all of them!”
Ranpo put a hand on Atsushi’s shoulder.
“...Alright. Then it’s decided. We’ll find a way to escape Grace Field House, with all of us.”
Atsushi nodded, letting his hands drop. Ranpo removed his hand as well, turning towards the House.
“We’ll find a way out, but for the time being there’s a few things to keep in mind.” said Ranpo, looking back to them. “First of all, Father most likely knows that we were at the gate by now.”
“What? How?” asked Kunikida, in shock.
“Not us specifically, but he knows that at least one person was at the gate.” said Ranpo, holding up a finger. “We left the doll behind.”
Kunikida swore under his breath as Atsushi’s eyes widened with the realization.
“I pulled it under the truck when we went to hide, but I forgot all about it when we left.” said Kunikida, clenching a fist in frustration.
“There’s still a lot Father probably doesn’t know either, like the amount of people that saw the demons or who exactly it was.” Ranpo added. “But he will be on the look out for anyone acting suspicious. As hard as it is, we’ll have to act just like normal if we want to stay hidden. Even the small things, like our facial expressions and our tones could give away everything.”
The others nodded. Atsushi looked down, grabbing at his hands. Could he fool the man that had raised them? Atsushi froze as another realization hit him. In this reality, he had to fool the man he saw as “Father”. It made him feel sick.
“For now, we can’t tell anyone else either. There’s no telling how they’d react, if they would believe us and freak out or think it was a prank and tell others about what we said.” Ranpo pulled at the edges of his sleeves. Clearly the idea of having to leave everyone else in the dark, even if it was practical, was making him uneasy too.
“In any case, we should head inside.” said Kunikida quietly. “Before Da- before...before Father gets back.”
There wasn’t any argument. The three made their way back to the door they’d left through. Even though it’d probably not even been an hour, it felt like years since they’d picked the lock and went to the gate. The dining hall was clean, lights dim. As they made their way through the house, Atsushi couldn’t help but feel like every shadow was slightly larger than it should be. It was like he was five years old again, sneaking back to his bed, terrified that a monster was going to jump out at him. It’d taken months for his older siblings to convince him that that wouldn’t happen, and that he was safe in the House. It was only then that Atsushi was able to walk in the house alone at night unafraid.
Approaching the stairway, a small light could be seen from upstairs. Atsushi squinted at the source of the light, too tired to think. It couldn’t be Father, he would’ve had to pass them on the way up, or have returned in the time it took them to walk to the back door. They would’ve heard him walk upstairs.
At the sound of their footsteps, the light shifted, before another pair of footsteps began descending the stairs, stopping at the landing. Dazai’s face was illuminated in yellow lamplight.
“You guys finally made it back. How’d it go?” His voice was casual, and it made sense, for all he knew they’d seen Elise, alive and well, and everything had been normal, but it was so out of place in Atsushi’s mind.
The truth was a heavy burden to bear.
“We didn’t make it in time. She was gone when we got there.” Kunikida answered, voice fortunately steady enough to do so.
They walked past him, continuing up the staircase. Dazai only watched them silently, lamp ever-so slightly swaying in his grip. There was a contradiction to their statement, after all.
They said they hadn’t made it, but yet the doll was nowhere to be seen.
——————————
The demon held the doll forward, pinched between two of its long nails. The doll was slightly dirtied, a stain on its cheek and a loose leaf sticking to its hair, but with the deep red color of its bow and dress, it’s identity was unmistakable, even from a distance.
“I found this under the truck.” The demon extended the claw, dropping the limp doll into Mori’s hands. “Dispose of it.”
Mori held the doll in one hand, allowing its head to loll backwards.
“Understood.”
——————————
Atsushi blinked awake to Kunikida’s calls. Just another day in the house. He yawned and stretched, watching as Kunikida dragged Dazai out of bed yet again. Bad sleeping habits were hard to change, Atsushi guessed.
He made it to breakfast on time today, despite Dazai’s best efforts to drag out their morning. The boy sat in his usual spot at breakfast, next to Junichirou and across from Yosano. Unlike most days, their breakfast wasn’t already out in front of them. Instead, laying across the table was a large, silver platter with a lid on it, probably larger than some of the younger children. Dazai finally stumbled into the dining hall, the last one to arrive.
“Alright, now that everybody’s here, we can start breakfast.” Father smiled, moving towards the platter. “Fold your hands for the morning prayer.”
Atsushi complied, along with the others, folding his hands and lowering his head. Since he’d been late to breakfast recently, he hadn’t gotten to say the morning prayer with the others.
As the children started praying, Father placed a hand on the lid’s handle, slowly lifting it up. Even as his head was supposed to be bowed, Atsushi’s gaze couldn’t help but to wander to the platter, curious to see what Father had made for breakfast today.
Just as Atsushi could begin to make out shapes on the platter, Father pulled the lid off the rest of the way, revealing the meal.
Except it wasn’t a meal.
Atsushi’s stomach turned.
Elise was on the platter, in her ruffled adoption day clothes, hair strewn out beneath her, with blank, dark blue eyes staring directly at Atsushi.
Atsushi’s breath caught in his throat. His hands lowered apart as he stared at his sister, at the red flower embedded in her chest. Father’s face was cold, hands folded behind his back. The rest of the children finished the prayer, looking up with smiles on their faces.
They didn’t react to Elise’s state, or Father. They just talked cheerily among themselves, saying how delicious the food looked, how they wanted to grab a plate of it. Atsushi watched on with slack-jawed horror. Suddenly, the ground beneath them wasn’t the wooden floor of the dining hall, it was a silver platter, just like the one Elise was on.
Atsushi scrambled off of it, calling out to his siblings. They barely spared him a glance, waving at him to come back over to them. Elise was still staring at him.
Even as they insisted, Atsushi shook his head, trying to warn them, but they didn’t listen. They stayed on the platter, as if nothing was wrong at all.
And then, to Atsushi’s dread, a dark, misshapen figure emerged from the shadows, with a chipped mask and wide eyes. He couldn’t even scream, as the demon picked up one of the children, Kyouka, holding her limply.
They wouldn’t leave the platter.
They wouldn’t listen to him.
He could only watch as the demon speared them all through with flowers, one by one.
——————————
Atsushi sprang up in bed, clutching his chest. A nightmare. It had been a nightmare.
He breathed heavily, slowly bringing his knees up to his chest. It felt too real. It’d been too real. It was still too real now. His breath hitched. Fear clawed at him from every direction. He’d barely managed to get himself to fall asleep the first time, but now Atsushi didn’t think he’d have that luck again.
Even though the three of them were determined to escape, Atsushi was admittedly still scared. Knowing he was just living to die for food, for profit, knowing the truth about Father, everything towered over the boy. No matter how strong his resolve was towards escape, he knew that it wasn’t guaranteed. They could still fail, and he would have to lose someone else, and this time he would know what was really happening.
His breath hitched. He knew crying would do nothing, but it was if he couldn’t even help it.
A small creaking sound from nearby startled the boy. Peering drowsily into the darkness, he wasn’t able to make out exactly who it was that was approaching him, only able to see a taller figure sitting on the edge of the bed.
A spike of cold fear went down Atsushi’s spine for a moment, but it was quickly warmed by a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Atsushi.” It was Dazai, the boy realized. “Did you have a nightmare?”
Atsushi let out a shaky breath, looking away.
“Yeah. M’sorry for waking you up.” He mumbled, chin resting on his knees.
“It’s alright. I was up already anyways.” Dazai’s hand found one of his, squeezing it lightly. “You should try to get back to sleep. You’ll need energy for tomorrow.”
Despite Ranpo’s warning earlier, part of Atsushi wanted to scream it out right then, tell Dazai everything. But he stayed silent, nodding as he untucked his knees from his chest, laying down in the bed on his side.
“Whatever it is you were dreaming about,” Dazai ruffled his hair, “I’m sure it’ll all be alright.”
Atsushi couldn’t bring himself to respond for a moment. Even without being told what was wrong, Dazai always knew what to say. In this moment, it was as if he could read Atsushi’s mind.
But, for one of the first times, his sibling’s reassurances couldn’t drive off the unease that was eating at him.
“Thanks. Goodnight, Dazai.” Atsushi pulled the white blankets on his bed up to his shoulders.
Instead of leaving, like Atsushi had expected he would, Dazai adjusted himself, gently raking his fingers through Atsushi’s hair.
“I’ll stay here until you fall asleep, ok? That way I can keep an eye out for any vampires.”
“M’not afraid of vampires anymore.”
“But who knows, maybe that one from the attic finally managed to break out?”
“I was five.” Atsushi groaned as he was reminded of the incident Dazai was referencing, where he’d been unable to sleep after reading a horror story from the House’s library, then had heard a noise upstairs, and spent the rest of the night latched to Dazai, trembling.
As embarrassing as the memory was, it still made Atsushi smile to think about it.
“Whatever you say, Atsushi.”
There was silence for a few moments, then Dazai began humming. As Atsushi began to become drowsy again, he faintly recognized the melody as the same one he’d began humming on adoption days.
“What is that song, anyways?” he mumbled, looking up at Dazai with eyes half open.
“It’s just a song.” Dazai took a pause to respond quietly.
“I like it.” Atsushi closed his eyes the rest of the way, leaning into Dazai’s hand. “It sounds nice.”
It was terrifying, the situation that they’d discovered that night. And Atsushi was still scared. But the only way for his family to survive was to win against the demons, against the cage he knew as his home. The only way to save his family was to keep moving forward.
Atsushi made a silent promise to himself that night, that he would not cry again, not until they’d made it out of Grace Field House.
——————————
Dazai waited until Atsushi was asleep, breaths evened out, to respond to what the boy had said.
“It does sound nice. I like it too.”