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“Emergency!” A pair of footsteps ran straight into the kitchen, skidding across the tiled floor. Maybe it was too optimistic to expect four concerned faces to greet her, but when Ahri didn’t get so much as a glance in her general direction, she snapped. “I said, ‘Emergency’!”
“We heard you the first time,” Akali mumbled from the kitchen counter, clutching tightly to her cup of coffee. Next to her, her fellow bandmates shared similar haggard looks. Despite it being their day off, fatigue hung heavily on their shoulders, months of nonstop work taking a toll on their bodies. They’d spend their day off as they always had, recovering in their own private spaces. But first, they would have to contend with a grumpy fox.
Ahri only impatiently tapped her foot in response. “Well, if you had heard me, then you would know how serious this is!”
Still, the response was lacking. Underneath the pile of pink hair was a snoozing Seraphine, with Akali soon to join her, her head bobbing up and down as she scrolled through her phone. Evelynn meanwhile couldn’t get more unenthusiastic in her composure, giving an almost imperceptible nod in Ahri’s direction, not looking up from her own phone for a second. “Love, is this the ‘running out of shampoo’ kind of emergency or the ‘forgetting that Africa isn’t a country’ emergency?”
“It’s the ‘I thought we wouldn’t bring up that time’ kind of emergency,” Ahri hissed, flashing her fangs as a warning. A warning that she was only one whisker away from blasting K/DA into a solo gig.
Finally, Kai’sa, whose hair was still dotted with golden glitter from the prior night’s club, stepped in, enveloping her and her unfolding tails in for a hug. “Babe, what’s wrong?”
Never denying herself a moment of attention, she nuzzled her way into the folds of Kai’sa’s sweater, picking up a faint heartbeat. The reception was far from perfect, but as she guided Kai’sa’s hand from her waist up to her awaiting scalp, it would have to do. In return, she was met with gentle scratches at the base of her ears, which twitched with happiness. Perhaps a solo career could wait just a bit more. Now calmer, she continued with her sob story. “I can’t find my favorite ring! I looked everywhere!”
“The V-shaped ring with the engraving on the inside?” Kai’sa asked.
“No. That’s my third favorite ring.”
“The diamond one with roses?”
“No, that’s my special occasion ring for April and May,” Ahri corrected. How could they be so silly to mix her favorite ring up with her special occasion ring for April and May? Truly they had no care for her favorite pieces of jewelry.
Kai’sa let out an exasperated sigh. “You’ve got to help us out here. Which one is it?”
“It’s my favorrriteee ringgg,” she whined, the frustration rising back in her body, puffing out her tail like a raccoon. How hard was it to know that her favorite ring was the most favorite one? It had that favorite ring kind of shine, ornate yet simple, a perfect accessory for any outfit.
She glanced back at the indifferent table. Here she was, pouring out her heart like an open faucet, and they didn’t even bat an eye? Suspicious. The whole lot of them. Especially Akali, who, now nose-deep in her phone, had checked out of the conversation entirely. Very suspicious indeed.
“It had to have been…stolen!” Ahri pointed squarely at the suspect. “And I know exactly who did it.”
“Me?” Akali shot back. “What would I need with your stupid ring?”
“You are just a highly suspicious individual.” And there was only one thing that was to be done with highly suspicious people. Ahri walked to the light switch, toying with the knob between her fingers. “I know you’re hiding something.” The lights went out. A shout rang through. The investigation began.
…
“Ahri! Let me go!” Dust drifted into the air as Akali struggled against the restraints. The basement was a dark and decrepit place, perfect for Ahri’s impromptu detective work. It was just as she had imagined, minus the moldy air and the obscene amount of spider webs. She paced around poor, feeble Akali, all tied up in a chair, the rope making a perfect bow between her wrists. It was all in the details, that was her philosophy. Case in point, the hypnotizing blue that illuminated her sharp fangs, the flame of foxfire bouncing between her hands.
Ahri’s nose twitched as she did her best to hold in a sneeze, lest she ruin the atmosphere. “Not until you confess!”
“For the last time,” Akali said, the chair squeaking beneath her. “I didn’t steal your ring!”
“Then how do you explain yesterday?”
…
“I’m not sure about this.” Ahri’s ears had pricked up at the sound of Sera’s voice through the walls. She wasn’t one to eavesdrop, but if her sharper than average ears happened to pick up on an intriguing conversation…well, she couldn’t just turn them off.
“You’ll be fine. Ahri is easy to distract. Just tell her you’re thinking of changing your wardrobe and she’ll go wild.” Ahri? That was her! What was Akali, who sounded unbothered by the casual jab, planning? She pressed one ear against Akali’s door, eagerly listening in.
“How long do you think it’ll take?”
“It shouldn’t be more than an hour. Kai’sa and I have got this in the bags.” Akali’s voice dropped to a whisper. “But whatever you do, don’t let Ahri find out.”
But even the softest of whispers was no match for Ahri, who stood shocked at the news. Secrets? They were keeping secrets from her? Their beloved and wonderful leader, friend, family, and confidant? The bedroom door slammed open. “Find out what?” She hissed.
No one moved. It was so silent, in fact, that Ahri could make out their racing heartbeats that soared into the next week. Sera had taken on a deer-in-the-headlights quality in her frozen state, blinded and paralyzed by Ahri’s furious stance in the doorway. Akali, meanwhile, shifted fearfully on her feet, guilt written all over her face. “Shit.”
Ahri stomped closer. “What were you guys planning that I don’t get to know about?”
Her voice broke the two from their stupor, their nervous eyes passing secrets between them. Akali answered first. “Just that,” she began, her voice rising into a mousey squeal. “We’re going to…rob a bank?”
Sera nodded profusely. “Yeah! It’s been on my bucket list for ages. And you know. The time just feels right.”
“Yup!” Akali jumped back in. “Bokkie and I wanted to surprise you with a…bank…robbery. Nothing more romantic than holding everyone hostage, am I right?”
Ahri looked between the two, trying to discern the truthfulness of their words. Taking a whole bank hostage did have a certain romantic ring to it. “Well, you’ll need disguises then. Wait right here, I’ve got some extra masks.”
…
“And to think those were my good ski masks,” Ahri lamented, wiping away the invisible tears that pooled in the corner of her eyes. The feeling of betrayal had never stung quite so badly before. “How could you lie to me?”
Akali scoffed. “Don’t act all high and mighty. You were eavesdropping on us!”
“It was for a good cause!” Two hands gripped the corners of the chair, leaving Ahri’s nose only inches away from Akali’s face. Mad. Oh, she was furious. The only person who was allowed to keep secrets was her! “What am I not allowed to find out about?”
“Ask Bokkie.”
Ahri considered this for a moment. Sweet, lovely, Bokkie. How could someone so pure be hiding something from her? Impossible. They shared everything together, except socks per Bokkie’s request. It was an infinite love, like the forever night sky, or perhaps like a moderately large lake. But she had been in cahoots with Akali too. No one could be trusted, not in this dark reality.
…
Kai’sa had a refined way of sitting, her back standing straight as a beanpole and her head held high as if every occasion was in the presence of the Queen. Even all tied up beside Akali, stuck on their spare dining chair, Ahri couldn’t deny just how elegant and all the more beautiful her girlfriend was looking. It was like falling in love all over again. Kai’sa unfortunately did not share that same giddiness. “Babe, can we make this quick? I’ve got an important phone call in an hour.”
Another sneeze itched her nose, but Ahri persevered, the thought of her missing ring pushing her further. “Fine fine. But I’m not your ‘babe’ down here. I’m the poor, helpless victim to a heinous crime!”
Kai’sa lifted her leg, her only functioning limb at the moment, up beside Ahri, its own silent sign of solidarity and endless comfort. “I’m sure we can find it if we just do a thorough search through your room.”
Akali was far less sympathetic. “Ew, cleaning Ahri’s room? I don’t even wish that on my worst enemies.”
“What’s wrong with my room?” It was an innocent question. She’d heard the words ‘messy’ and ‘biohazard’ used before, and call it feigned ignorance, but she couldn’t understand their complaints. It was, at its worst, a light amount of clutter. A smattering of things here and there. Like a very small tornado had passed through.
“It’s disgusting!” Akali objected, reliving the horrors she had faced there. “You never clean it.”
Ahri shrugged. ‘Never’ was a big word. “I just like my room to smell like the people and things I care about.” No one could ever understand her foxy ways.
“So I guess you care about that week-old sandwich wrapper that I stepped on?”
“Yes, I do. But that’s beside the point!” Ahri turned back to Kai’sa, that anger fueling her once more. “What thing am I not allowed to know about?”
In turn, Kai’sa redirected those heated emotions to Akali, like a game of angry, hot potato. “You told her?”
“No!” Akali rebutted, her voice becoming shy. “I told her we robbed a bank.”
“Real smooth, Rogue.”
“Hey, she believed it.”
Ahri snapped her fingers, distractions coming faster than she could keep up with. At this rate, it would take months to solve this mystery, if not years. “Focus girls!” She whipped out her metaphorical whiteboard, pacing like a caged animal across the concrete as she tried to connect all the dots. “None of this is adding up. Why did I see Eve carrying those big boxes into her room the other day? And what were you doing in my room?”
“Ahri,” Kai’sa said, her voice slow and steady. “We can explain everything if you just wait until this afternoon.”
“Who knows. Maybe she’ll figure it out,” Akali whispered in response. What she forgot, once more, was the way Ahri’s ears bristled at the words, refusing to let go of each syllable. It also didn’t help that she was less than ten feet away.
But Akali believed in her, however sarcastic it might’ve been. It was enough to set something within her ablaze. Something had shifted in that dingy basement, be it the condensation that had begun to cling to the walls or the bugs that scattered about as Ahri continued her tirade. Whatever the case, she would figure it out. But first, she needed more witnesses.
…
“Did you do it?”
“Most likely, yes.” Another dining chair, another suspicious individual. But Evelynn didn’t need a reason to be suspicious, just her mere existence alone warranted that accusation, which she happily accepted.
“Hey, why doesn’t Eve have to be tied up?” Akali protested, still bound to her chair in defeat. Beside her, Kai’sa texted away on her phone that Ahri had oh so graciously given to her, on the condition that her wrists remained tied up. It wasn’t as if she had threatened to fire her pods point-blank at her lover.
But Ahri was a nice captor. Sure, she wouldn’t let them go, but she liked to believe that with time, things would take a romantic turn. Like in the movies, they’d develop Stockholm syndrome, and soon would see their loving leader in a new, better light. In the evening hours after many weeks, they’d transcend to some deeper level, confessing secrets and life stories filled with dramatic twists and turns. Ahri would comfort them as they sobbed on her shoulder, and by morning, they would fall hopelessly, madly in love. A true antihero story.
“Eve wouldn’t lie to me,” she insisted, still caught up in her fantasy. “Right?”
For her part, Eve leaned forward on her seat, settling her chin on her hand as a wicked grin spread across her face. Her long nails, now polished an iridescent silver, glittered in the faint light. “Oh, I lie to you every day, darling.”
“Yeah, see?” Ahri said. “What did you order yesterday?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Eve smirked. “It’s a surprise, love.”
“Eve!” Kai’sa chastised, glaring daggers at her smug face.
Whatever had happened between the two, Ahri hadn’t noticed. Like a dog spotting a squirrel in the distance, her tail sprung high in the air, wagging with a crazed excitement. “A surprise? For me?”
Words were said, but she wasn’t listening, plunging even deeper into her fantasies. A surprise! How fun! “I mean, I was eyeing this purple handbag recently. Wouldn’t it look great with those hoop earrings I have?” She could see it now. She and Kai’sa, hand in hand, walking down the busy promenade, her fancy, new, magenta clutch dazzling everyone that passed by. “Oooo I love surprises!” Her imagination raced at a breakneck pace. It could be anything! New clothes, new yacht, new thingamabob that was likely a passing fad but who cared.
Or. Or. It could be something terrible. Like a lifetime’s worth of protein powder. Or fleas. She didn’t know how that one would work exactly, but the thought still made her shudder. “But wait,” Ahri continued, now suddenly disheartened. “What if it’s a bad surprise? Is it a bad surprise?”
“Damn, you went through five stages of grief in like fifteen seconds,” Akali said, recovering from the emotional whiplash.
“It’s not a bad surprise,” Kai’sa assured.
Still, Ahri was dubious. Surely, they would’ve informed her of a good surprise, right? “But why wouldn’t you tell me about it?”
Akali groaned, long tired of trying to twist her way out of the rope around her. “What part of ‘surprise’ do you not understand?” If she could time it right, she could backflip her way into the ground, breaking the chair that had confined her. It could also crack her skull in the process, but at this point, it was a reasonable sacrifice. She watched Ahri begin her pacing again, clicking her tongue with every step in deep concentration. “While you’re thinking about it, can you let us go?”
“Nope!” Ahri said. “This is still an active crime scene.” With a flick of her wrist, the foxfire vanished, and she trotted toward the stairs in near giddiness. “I’ll go get Sera.”
“Wait!” It was Kai’sa, her voice anxious and urgent. Another warm ball of foxfire came alight. “I…have a confession.”
“Stay,” Eve said, her words piercing harder than their usual bite. “I’ll get little Starlight for you.” And before anyone could protest, she had vanished up the stairs and out the door.
When Ahri looked back at Kai’sa, she couldn’t hide her anticipation. This was it! The juicy confession. She was a bit ahead of schedule on her whole captor checklist, but patience be damned, she couldn’t wait any longer.
With her two hands still bound together, Kai’sa dug into her pocket, shuffling around until she pulled out a silver ring. “Well…I think have your favorite ring.” She dropped it into Ahri’s curious hands. “I needed to get your ring size for something. I didn’t realize it was your favorite though. I’m sorry.”
It was a thin ring, made of two separate bands that converged into an X, adorned with a petite opal in the center. Ahri inspected it carefully, certain she had seen it before, eventually sliding it onto her middle finger. A flawless fit. While lovely, suitable for an evening out, something about it was lacking. “Hmm, no, this isn’t the right one.”
“I’m still sorry though,” Kai’sa continued, unwavering in her conviction. “We should’ve never kept so many secrets from you, even if they were ultimately for a surprise.”
Pain and regret laced Kai’sa’s voice, the kind that stabbed Ahri like a knife in the chest. Maybe she had taken it all too far, she had never meant to truly hurt anyone, although she did like to dance on that line. But this? “Oh, Bokkie. I have something to tell you too. I—“
The door creaked open, filtering in much needed light as Sera’s footsteps raced down the stairs. It was only at the last two steps that she stumbled, tripping over her own bare feet as she floundered into a somewhat standing position. “Are you guys okay? Eve said there was an emergency.”
Ahri waved off her concerns. “Everything’s fineeee.” Despite quite the opposite. Everything was going so terribly wrong. Now in the moment of her own grand revelation, the big reveal, all the momentum had been pulled out from under her. Added to that, a sickly sweet smell of sugar had coated her nose, one whose name eluded her. It wasn’t just any sugar, but one mixed with flour, butter, and lemon to create a richness that reminded her of one of Kai’sa’s cakes. But Kai’sa was here, still bound to her chair; and Sera was there, dusted in a fine layer of white powder from her hair to her knees. “What happened to you?”
Sera made a sound between a laugh and a cough, nervously rocking on her heels. “Oh! I was trying to follow Kai—I mean, I was trying to bake something. It’s not going that great, as you can see.”
“You bake?” This was news to Ahri.
“It’s never too late to learn a new skill, right?” Sera shook the fine layer of powdered sugar out of her hair, twisting her body into a pretzel to get every last speck of white. Near the glow of the foxfire, it fizzled into pops of blazing, caramel flames, before floating away to stick to whatever came next. “Um, so what should I do?”
“Save us, please,” Akali whined. “Use your mind control powers on Ahri!”
“I have mind control powers?” This was also news to little Sera, who quirked her eyebrow in confusion. If she had mind control powers, she would’ve used them to get out of their early morning training, or to get her cat Bao to stop puking in her shoes.
“Hearing emotions, mind control, same thing. Who took the ring?”
So, Sera listened, pushing aside the usual hum of the day to focus on the songs of their hearts. It was never a pleasant sound, filled with loud, messy, and out-of-tune emotions. Filtering through them was like wading through shallows filled with thick memories, slowly and tediously pulling away layers of fleeting feelings until the deeper, more guarded desires rose to the surface. And it was here, after sifting through the daily ups and downs that Sera found the truth.
“Ahri.” Sera looked up, unable to meet those normally energetic blue eyes anymore. “You took your own ring?”
“Not exactly,” Ahri said, the remorse dripping down her face. It didn’t help that she had three more shocked faces staring right into her soul. “It’s just that, in the middle of interrogating Bokkie, I…remembered where I put it.”
It wasn’t in her jewelry box, nor beside her bedroom door, but in the only place it could ever have been. Her favorite ring, tucked away in a gum wrapper, rolled into an old take-out menu, had been buried three paces next to their persimmon tree. And it was there under the waxing moon that she had sworn to never forget it. The irony wasn’t lost on her.
“What?!” Akali was the first to speak up. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
But there was more to it than that. And Ahri knew that, and most likely Sera did as well, the others trailing not far behind. She knew that their days were always jam-packed with things that had to be done, had to be prepared, or had to be planned far in advance. And that burden would often fall on her, which she, the amazing, incredible, spectacular leader that she was, handled without breaking a sweat. And when their well-deserved days off came, they would all rejoice and relax in their own, separate ways. And maybe that was it, after having to watch too many times on the porch steps as everyone went their own ways for the day, that she had had enough.
“I was having so much fun I got distracted,” Ahri admitted. There in the fading light, the truth finally emerged. “It’s been so long since we’ve been able to spend time together, I really missed it.”
“I mean I missed it too, but we could’ve just watched a movie or something,” Akali said. Loving a Gumiho was more work than it was cut out to be.
But as Ahri kissed her and Kai’sa on the cheek, burning through the remains of their restraints, it all became worth it. Ahri’s eyes said it all—she loved them more than they could ever know, infuriatingly so at times. If she was their magnificent leader, then they were her magnificent bandmates, friends, and partners for life. “Yeah, you're probably right. Anyways, I’m sorry too for wasting your time like that.”
“It wasn’t a waste,” Kai’sa said, confirming the time on her phone. Beautiful Kai’sa, who, even after being stuck in a basement for two hours, sparkled like a prince ready to unite with her princess. She stretched out a patient hand. “We’re actually right on time for your surprise. Are you ready?”
…
A set of powdered sugar footsteps greeted them at the top of the stairs, zigzagging their way around the corner and into the kitchen. Holding tightly to Kai’sa, Ahri followed them warily. Good surprise, bad surprise, her senses went every which way, flooded with nothing but the scent of sugar. Soon, her investigation would be over. Soon, she would have all the answers.
Except, as they turned the corner, she wasn’t quite sure what she was staring at. Front and center on the countertop was an oblong sort of concoction, smothered in bright pink icing, and finally topped with candles. A cake. It would explain the sweetness that wafted in the air. But it didn't explain why a cake was there to begin with.
“What’s all this?”
“Well,” Kai’sa began, now unable to hide the smile on her face. “We know you don’t have a set birthday, but we thought you might like to celebrate one anyway.”
A pair of arms wrapped around Ahri’s waist, and before she knew it, Sera cuddled in close beside her. “We know it’s not much, but we hope you like it.”
And one by one, first Kai’sa, then Sera, even the normally apathetic Eve, couldn’t contain themselves any longer, waiting to see what Ahri’s reaction would be. And what was her reaction? To the expectant look on their faces? The cake that most definitely had accidentally fallen on the ground but was somehow salvaged with another pound of frosting? To the bunch of lit waxy candles that had begun to droop?
Ahri could only manage to say one thing. “This is the surprise?”
“Yup,” Akali said. “All for you.”
With time, she noticed the other sentiments. There was that new, fancy purple handbag of her dreams, and there were other wrapped boxes too, all with her name on them. There were balloons that had floated to the top of their high ceiling, never to return again. And there was Kai’sa too, holding out a small case, no bigger than a matchbox.
“I was promised that I could give you the first gift,” Kai’sa said by way of explanation.
And inside was a gold band that was as light as a cloud, etched with flowers and leaves that sprung about as if to reach the sun. As Ahri rolled the ring between her fingers, she noticed the thick bold cursive that wrapped around the inner side. ‘Always yours’. And in that moment, she understood. Delicately, Ahri eased off her silver ring, setting it aside on the counter.
“How is it?” Kai’sa asked.
In answer, Ahri slid the new ring onto her finger, and she loved it. She loved its simplistic beauty. She loved the cake, the gifts, her friends—her family. She loved how the kitchen was enveloped with an unspoken promise.
“Perfect.”