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The night sky was always such a pretty sight. Hues of blues and purples blending in with the ever-expansive sea of dark, twinkling little stars to guide the way, and a sole spotlight called the Moon. Ina had always found it fascinating, as she often let herself get lost in thought stargazing.
Laying down on the cold grass, she let out a sigh. She was told by a certain Australian friend once that the colors of space reminded her of Ina: the purple of her hair was like the endless expanse of the night sky; a golden halo, gleaming like the rings of Saturn; her eyes, sucking her in like the greatest of black holes. It was all too much to say to someone who was ‘just a friend,’ yet it made her heart pulse and beat in a way she hadn’t felt before.
Maybe that’s why space felt so special to her. To them. Looking up at space like this always reminded her of one person—
“Whatcha thinkin’ about?”
Ina looked to her side. Sana. Ina snorted and smiled, looking back up at the night sky. “Nothing much, really.”
The two had come here to spend some time together, alone and without the pressures of the world chaining them down. A stressful week led to stressful confessions and one thing led to another and… Well, it had been Sana’s suggestion. Knowing that a night sky brought peace to both of them, she brought them to her favorite star-gazing spot.
“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”
Ina gasped, but recovered her composure quickly. Sana loved teasing her with that phrase, which was notorious for being a way to subtly confess your love for someone in Japanese. She giggled, shoving Sana’s arm lightly. “Okay, okay, you’re not getting me with that one, Sana. Not this time.”
“Hey!” Sana laughed herself, enjoying the flustered expression on Ina’s face. “I thought I’d at least try that one again since you started crying the last time I said ‘I love you!’”
“Yeah, well!” Ina huffed, sitting up. “You were just so sudden about it, how else was I supposed to react! That was the first time you’d said that, after all.”
“You’re right, you’re right,” Sana relented. “But you’re just so cute, I can’t help myself! I just want to tell you that I love you all the time!”
“Hmph, fine! I’ll let this one go for now.” Ina fell back against the grass, arms crossed. “Just so you know… warn me next time so I can mentally prepare.”
“Not quite sure how I can warn you in advance, but… Thank you for your kind benevolence, O Magical Ina! To pay you back for your kindness, how about I take you to the moon!”
Ina raised an eyebrow at her. “The moon, huh? Why?”
“Well to see the view of course, silly! Trust me, Earth looks much more nicer from up there than down here.”
“I don’t doubt you, but… I’d rather look up at space, instead of being in space.”
“That so?” A smirk spread across Sana’s face. “I see how it is, Ina~”
She blushed red. “You know what I mean!”
Sana laughed, reaching over to hold Ina’s hand. Ina’s eyes widened as she felt Sana interlock their fingers quietly. Sana continued to look up at the bright, night sky, talking as if she didn’t notice Ina’s hand in her own. Ina felt her heart beat in her ears and hoped that Sana couldn’t hear it. She felt so vulnerable when Sana didn’t react to doing things like this, as if it was the most natural thing for her to do. Ina almost envied that shamelessness, wishing that it was easier for her to give in to her own feelings like that.
“I know, I know. There’s a lot to do down here. So, we don’t have to go to the moon today. But I hope you’ll let me take you, one day. It’s just the first stepping stone into space. But there’s so much more! And I want to show you all that space has to offer.” Ina felt Sana’s thumb rub over her skin gently. “It may seem so beautiful from down here, but it’s so much more impressive when you get up close. I want to show you how beautiful and intricate every detail is, which planets and galaxies remind me of you, why I care so much about it.” Locking eyes with Ina now, Sana smiled easily. “So, we don’t have to go today or tomorrow, or even for a while!
“When you’re ready, I’ll always be here to take you to the moon.”
*
Laying down on the cold grass, she let out a sigh.
The night sky looked so lonely now. Blue, purple, black. Whatever. Dim stars blinked at her. Even the moon seemed duller, less beautiful. Stargazing felt difficult, so Ina shut her eyes and let her skin feel instead.
The prickle of grass on her arms, her legs. A tickle of hair on her nose and ears. A shiver down her back. A pounding in her head. A pinch in her chest. An itchiness in her fingers. A coldness in her palms. A hollowness by her side.
Her brow furrowed and she snapped her eyes open. She sat up, looking at the moon now.
“Sana,” she breathed. A breathless plea she whispered. Her hands clenched the grass— tight-knuckled— as she tried to fight back something bubbling up inside her. It definitely wasn’t the Ancient Ones; their pressure was hot, unforgiving, powerful. But this feeling— new and foreign to her— hurt more than when under the control of the Ancient Ones. It stung and burned, but it felt cold to the touch. It was fluid like water, and she couldn’t tear it out or place where it came from.
Tears. They slipped down her face, dripping onto the grass below. Her fingers grasped at her face, trying to rub it all away before someone could see. Before the moon could be her witness and tell on her to the grand space above.
“S-Sana…!” she sobbed, her tears running past her fingers. So many thoughts ran through her head. I should’ve spent more time with you. I should’ve gone with you to the Moon. I should’ve shown you that I loved you more than words could describe. I should’ve— But it was never her fault nor Sana’s fault. A tearful parting, but she knew it was for the best. Even if it hurt now, the safety of the entirety of Space was more important than what she felt now. (Even if she just wanted to be selfish and say ‘screw it’— begging— if it meant keeping Sana by her side).
Through tear-stained eyes, she looked up at the blinking sky again. Even though Sana wasn’t by her side anymore, she knew she was always watching over her. A piece of her was still in her heart, in her thoughts. Marked on her body and mind. Unerasable.
“Sana,” Ina laughed wryly to herself, brushing away her tears. “If you can hear this, I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. I love you. I don’t care how far I’ll have to travel to find you again, because I will. I want to see you again and ask you to…
“Take me to the moon with you.”