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The Going Merry anchors at a small island called Tamarindo when Usopp realizes he doesn’t have to wait to tell Kaya his stories.
Tamarindo is just another stop along the way, an attempt to make sure the five of them don’t die before they even reach the Grand Line. Luffy is bouncing from foot to foot, restless, talking about the possibility of filling their ranks. Zoro follows his captain, a visual deterrent from anyone hoping to collect on the highest bounty in the East Blue. Usopp’s job on these stops is theoretically to ensure their ammunitions are stocked, but in actuality, they hadn’t gotten into many (actually, any, but that didn’t sound as cool) maritime fights on the way over.
Not that Usopp minded. As much as he loved and preferred life on the sea with his crew, there was something about getting to put his feet on solid ground, see other people. Even a couple of hours on land recharged him for his life on the water.
Sanji hands Nami a paper that Usopp had assumed was a rations list, and he winks at her. “Thanks, sweetheart.”
Once, Nami had allowed his charms to roll right off her. But Arlong’s defeat is beginning to show on her face. She lets out a little laugh and shakes her head. “Don’t forget…”
“I don’t tell you how to do your job.”
Sanji waves at Usopp, before presumably going off to find Tamarindo’s market. With nothing better to do, Usopp jogs to catch up with Nami, walking in step with her. She’s carefully rolling up the paper Sanji gave her.
“Love letter?”
“Oh hey.”
“You looked a little lonely; thought you could use the company.” Usopp liked making people laugh. It was his favorite thing about his relationship with Kaya, and it was what drew him most to Luffy. They were both easy to give a smile. But there was something about breaking down Nami or Zoro that was beginning to appeal to him. “Love letter?”
“What? No, ew.” Nami shakes the letter. “This is for Zeff.”
“Sanji writes love letters to Zeff?”
“Stop it. No, he sends him little updates. You know, hello, doing fine, haven’t strangled moss head yet but tomorrow isn’t promised.”
“We can do that?”
“Do what?”
“Write letters?”
“Of course you can. I mean, keep any information about our locations out of it, the birds can really only do so much to protect our correspondence from curious marines. I’ve been writing to Nojiko.” Nami nudges him. “Thinking about updating Kaya?”
“I can’t tell her where we’ve been?” The idea of not telling Kaya about the places he’s seen sours the idea for Usopp. He wanted to tell her about the dinner at Baratie, about the tangerine groves of Coco Village, about even the strange white berries on the trees in Tamarindo. What was the point if she couldn’t see the world through his words?
Nami loops an arm in Usopp’s. “There are things you can tell her. She’ll want to know you’re safe. Plus, if it’s anything the Marines already know, there’s no need to hide it.”
Usopp can’t help but smile. “You can get a message to Syrup Village?”
“I can get a message anywhere. Just remember. If it gives away our current location or route, don’t put it in.”
***
Only Nami and Sanji had been writing letters before their chat. Upon discussing it with the others, it didn’t seem to occur to Luffy to contact anyone—“I’ll see them again!” He says, eternally cheerful, as if there isn’t something to be said about maintaining relationships—and Usopp’s not sure there are people who Zoro cares about enough to update about his life. Zoro offers a shrug, and tells them they’ll soon all have wanted posters, a straightforward way of telling everyone Zoro hasn’t died yet.
In time, it also reminds Usopp that his father could have written to him and his mother, but he supposes Luffy got his attitude from Shanks’ crew.
The letter he writes to Kaya is a mix of the real and the fantastical. The Marines know about their fights with Arlong, so he can write about the Baratie and Coco Village openly without worrying about giving away information. But he writes about an island where the sand floats around them and the wrong step will have them sinking to their suffocation. He writes about a staircase with trick steps, where Zoro almost fell to his doom if it weren’t for Captain Usopp’s quick thinking.
Reality was something that had too many unglamorous facets to make a good story. It became clear after they’d left Coco Village that the five of them needed to be jacks of all trades until the crew was more robust, trading off on watches, maintenance, and sanitation on the Going Merry. Usopp didn’t mind—he’d done it before, without the possibility of adventure—but those were the details he could keep from Kaya. He doesn't want her to picture him with a rag.
He imagines Kaya sitting in her room, a glass mug full of tea by her side, reading his letters. He wants her to forget about the tea entirely because she’s so engrossed in his adventures. He wants it to feel like he’s next to her, talking into her ear about the Straw Hat Pirates and all their adventures. Often, he can’t decide which reaction would please him more: her wide smiles, just watching and letting him take the story in different directions, or how she would lean forward and start asking questions. Nudging Usopp to add texture to his tales.
Usopp stops at most at a surface wound. Anything more— anything like Zoro’s brush with death— would upset Kaya. But momentary danger’s good. What’s a story without stakes?
Usopp ends up writing later than he expected and more than he thought. The letter is already long, but for Kaya, for the girl who let him go, it still feels like its not enough. It can’t compare to sitting by her side and telling her all about his adventures, as fake as they used to be.
His stomach grumbles, and he decides he’s going to check out the kitchen. He thinks Sanji’s on watch tonight, so if he’s lucky perhaps the chef will have something prepared. Fate definitely smiled on them when they almost immediately found a cook—there was no way popcorn was going to keep him through the grand line, and he wasn’t sure any of his crew mates besides Sanji knew how to cook.
The hall was dark, and Usopp put his hands on the walls to help navigate as he got used to the moonlight. He’s always a little shaky on the ladder up to the mast on his best days, and has fallen on his way back from time to time. He swings a bit this time around but makes it up without serious incident.
The East Blue at night is something else. The dark expanse feels like a promise to Usopp… anything could be waiting for them on the horizon. Its a contract the ocean makes, the kind that life on land cannot compare to. The kind of contract that could make a man not return home, even for his sick wife and young child. Given time, perhaps Usopp will end up making the same choices, never returning to Syrup Village.
Suddenly, Usopp can hear Luffy, a full-bodied laugh at makes Usopp laugh himself. He doesn’t even know what’s so funny, but Luffy makes him want to join in. Of course he has not a care that its late or that others on the crew might be asleep. That’s just Luffy, the kind of man who bulldozed into four separate lives and made them a family. It makes sense that Luffy’s up and in the kitchen; even Sanji couldn’t rein in their captain’s appetite. Following the laugh towards the kitchen, Usopp stops at the door when he hears Luffy speak.
“Nami will love it.”
“You think so?”
There’s Sanji, as he expected, but oddly enough, his voice sounds just like it does whenever he first meets a woman. A quirk on that last word that always sounds like an invitation. It’s enough to stop Usopp from barging in, but he quietly leans forward, pushing the door open an inch.
Luffy’s sitting on a table, much closer to the chef that he would be at their dining table. His legs spread and dangling, a gentle kick in them. Sanji is walking over to him, bowl in hand. He doesn’t stop until he’s between Luffy’s legs, barely any space between him. Close proximity to Sanji, Luffy stills, sitting up taller. “What about with the cinnamon?”
Sanji’s thumb slides against the rim of the bowl and he brings his hand up to Luffy’s cheek. Usopp can’t see what the cinnamon flavored food is, but he can see Sanji’s thumb gently graze Luffy’s lip. Luffy sucks his thumb in, more playful than seductive, but Usopp can see what’s happening between them.
Usopp carefully closes the door, trying his best not to be caught. He hears a breathy “What do you think?” And he can’t move. He does want to know what Luffy thinks.
“They’re both so good.”
“You want to try them again?”
“Sure!"
Usopp can’t help but think about it as he moves further away from the door. He would’ve never guessed Luffy and Sanji. Sanji was the type that enjoyed flirting far too much, who quirked his eyebrow at a different girl on every island. And Luffy, well… the closest word for him is childish, truly, but it was more complicated than that, a kind of wisdom that played too close to naiveté to truly be called either… but if someone had told him their captain didn’t know what sex was, he wouldn’t be shocked.
He thinks about how long they stayed in that kitchen while looking out at the sea at night time. At some point, Sanji wouldn’t keep going around the food, right? How far are they planning to go? Would they go back to one of their quarters, would they… well, Usopp prided himself on his imagination. He could imagine a dozen things they could do. He imagines it when he gets back to his own quarters. He can’t close his eyes without imagining what else might be happening on the Going Merry.
And in the morning, he picks up his pen again, adding another story to his letter.
***
You probably won’t be surprised to hear that word of my exploits has led to many admirers. What I was most surprised about was that I would have them on this ship. It was late at night, and we have not docked in three days. There’s a restlessness on the waters that seeps into the skin of me and my crew, and I think it was a matter of time before one of us made a move.
You didn’t get to meet Sanji. He used to be a chef and, awed by my impressive defeat of Arlong, he pledged his undying loyalty to my crew. And he knew that he could please me in more ways than culinary.
***
Usopp hands his letter, already sealed, to Nami before they disembark.
“What are you sending her, a book?” Sanji jokes.
Usopp can’t help but go pink, thinking about exactly the things he told Kaya— the things he told Kaya about Sanji—and before he can make something up, Nami speaks.
“Come on; leave him alone.”
Thankfully, Sanji lets it drop.
Usopp isn’t sure why he’d embellished such an erotic tale for Kaya. He just knew as soon as he began to imagine what sex with Sanji could be like that Kaya had to know. She loved his stories, after all, and this felt no different. Just another adventure on the open seas.
Does Nami or Zoro know about Sanji and Luffy? It’s not like the two of them are acting any different. In the light of day, there’s no trace of romance.
Luffy’s the first on land. He nearly bounces on the dock. “So, one, we meet at the restaurant?”
“Try not to be late!” Sanji shouts, a bit of excitement in his voice. “This is supposed to be a unique culinary experience and you can miss the lunch service.”
Once Nami had said they’d be stopping at this island, it was all Sanji could talk about. Apparently the restaurant specialized in a single fish, and the day’s catch was all the same fish cooked in a variety of different ways. When Zoro seemed unimpressed by a restaurant that served one fish, Sanji grew defensive, telling them all about their great experiment to master one ingredient. It was not a desire Sanji shared, but that kind of mastery spoke to him.
Not like Luffy could deny food anyway, so it wasn’t that hard a sell.
“Come on, Zoro,” Luffy shouts.
Zoro shakes his head and joins up with Luffy. Luffy’s hands rest on Zoro’s shoulders and he jumps, excited. “Maybe they have swords here.”
“I think I’m going to wait for Loguetown.”
“Still, we should check."
If Sanji cares about Luffy’s general handsiness with Zoro, Usopp can’t see it on his face. His mind’s entirely on the restaurant. “I’m going to see if I can talk to the fishermen. West port at 1:30.”
“I thought it was one?”
Sanji grins. “I had to account for some time for those two to orient themselves, didn’t I?”
“There’s food involved. Luffy will find us.” Nami shakes the letters. “I'll see you guys later.”
When it was time to meet at the West port, Nami was proven correct. Usopp can’t help but notice their attempt to purchase swords wasn’t fruitful, Zoro’s named sword the only one in his belt. Both Luffy and Zoro already have drinks, talking closer to the water than one man who cannot swim should.
“You guys missed it,” Zoro said, a smirk on his lips. “The fisherman told the waiter to get lost.”
There’s a boat not too far from the dock. Sanji’s not too far off, just watching the boat. Despite the apparent rejection, Sanji’s got a smile on his face.
“They’re so dedicated to this one fish,” Luffy says, and despite the lofty nature of his own dream, he seems almost dazzled by them. “It’s so cool.”
The restaurant did, indeed, specialize in a single fish. The same one fish was in a dish in a soy caramel sauce, was figuratively swimming in individual cups of ginger soup, cooked into potato cakes, served as sashimi in a cucumber salad, and laid on top of bread with a mango salsa. If Sanji hadn’t told them how this restaurant worked, Usopp would have never believed it was all the same base.
Luffy puts more than just a bit of everything onto his plate, ignoring Sanji, who is explaining the suggested order of the dishes. Zoro doesn’t reach into the middle at first, slowly sipping the cup of soup until the initial tangle of hands is done.
“Well, what do you think?” The invitation at the end of Sanji’s voice this time aims at Nami, where it should aim. The Sanji Usopp thought he knew would have attempted to hook up with Nami, if anybody on the ship. Not at their undeniably charming captain.
A giggle escapes. Nami holds up a finger and finishes chewing her food. Once she’s swallowed, she said “You did not lie.”
“You should learn to trust me, sweetheart.”
Usopp looks to Luffy to see his reaction. He’s completely engrossed in his sashimi, crumbs and sauce staining his chin. Unlike Nami, he doesn’t bother to clear his throat. “You have to try the one with the mango, Zoro.”
Zoro doesn’t hesitate once told, reaching for the bread. His expression doesn’t change as he puts the whole thing into his mouth.
“Well?” Sanji echoes, a little less flirty for Zoro.
“Better than what we have on board, that’s for sure.”
***
It’s Usopp’s turn to keep watch, and he’s sitting on the deck, squinting in the moonlight to write his letter. He supposes he could do this in the galley, but the slap of the waves on the ship has an effect on Usopp that he can’t resist. Usopp’s five paragraphs into a story about how he’d lead the Straw Hats to battle against a spider with ten legs—he wasn’t sure you could still call it a spider if it had more legs, but he doubted Kaya would care about the poor word choice.
He’d not been alone for long, in the grand scheme of things. He’d played a drinking game with the others until Nami cut him off, insisting he would not get relief from tonight’s watch. The game kept going until it was just Nami and Zoro, going drink for drink, laughing at the others’ attempt to keep up.
When Nami finally tapped out, claiming that she needs to not get too wrecked to drive the boat, Zoro grinned and shot out an “excuses.”
Nami flipped him off, and Usopp couldn’t help but laugh. Even if he’s the lightweight, he likes seeing the others get the upper hand on one another.
Zoro left soon after Nami, somehow still so poised after all he drank. Usopp didn’t start writing until he was sure he was well and truly alone. The lies on the paper are no more egregious than the tales Usopp spins for his crew mates regularly, but they don’t need to see the ones for Kaya.
When the blues begin to lighten and orange streaks creep into view, Usopp’s watch ends. He’s not so tipsy anymore but he’s tired, and its enough for him to sluggishly head down the ladder. He yawns and heads the wrong way, towards the women’s quarters.
Usopp’s almost not sure he hears it as he passes Nami’s room. He stops and then hears it again, a soft moan. He doesn’t dare open the door this time, not when the only person whose supposed to be on this side is Nami. Instead, he presses his ear to the door.
“That’s good.” Nami’s voice is soft, muffled, but distinctly her. So Luffy and Sanji aren’t the only ones hooking up on the ship. “Just like that. Use your tongue. No… take it easy.”
Everyone but him, it seems, was getting theirs. Of course he’s noticed Nami, but he never would’ve expected Nami would have gone for any of them. She’d kept a wall between herself and the others, even if the wall was cracked and fragile. Sometimes, he thought Nami would still trade them for a chest full of berries. She’d been much more warm since they’d destroyed Arlong Park, sure, but for this? Usopp doesn’t think she treats Zoro much different from the rest of them. Much like how nothing seemed to change between Luffy and Sanji.
Usopp wracks his brain to figure out when he’s seen Zoro and Nami together. On Zoro’s part, Zoro’s version of warmth is more subdued than anyone else Usopp had ever met, but it’s rarely deployed and usually for the captain.
“You can put in another. You… oh!” Nami suddenly lets out a less subdued moan. Whatever Zoro did, it’s made Nami lose her cool entirely. “Oh fuck.”
“Sorry, sorry. I thought you might like it.”
Usopp’s jaw drops, and he steps back from the door. Too afraid that he’d make a sound.
It isn’t Zoro with Nami behind the door.
It’s Luffy.
Usopp had just assumed. After all, it had been Zoro up all night with Nami, meeting her drink for drink. And their other crew mates were taken.
“No, you were right, it was good.” Her voice is soft, encouraging. "I just… do it again.” She lets out a moan. “You can stretch. Mmm, but don’t stop using your tongue. On my clit, the circles again.”
“Like that?”
“Just like that…”
There’s no way. There’s no way Luffy’s sleeping with Sanji and Nami. Was whatever that was with Sanji over? He remembered the way Sanji’s hand rested on Luffy’s cheek, the way his thumb played with his lip… the way Sanji looked at Luffy. That seemed like something, Usopp wrote about twenty paragraphs about how much it seemed like something.
But he could hear the way Nami’s talking, the way Luffy checked in on her. He can’t see them but he can imagine their faces. Luffy between her legs, Nami’s hand in his curls. He imagines Nami in nothing but her bra, Luffy naked despite the fact that he’s not being touched. Usopp imagines he’s aroused but that he’s waiting his turn, focus entirely on Nami.
This could be a problem with the crew.
So could his erection.
***
This time, Captain Usopp might be well over his head. Now you know that I’ve faced down some of the most vicious monsters and pirates in the East Blue, fearless, and have come out victorious. Well, nothing can change that. I’m still the most fearsome thing on this side of the world. No, this time, it is between me and the people I trust most in the world.
You already know about Sanji, but today, I’ve also indulged with Nami. You know how beautiful Nami is, but since we last left you, she has allowed us to peek at the girl behind the famous pirate thief. You wouldn’t believe how she’s allowed herself to be vulnerable with me, and I couldn’t refuse her. Unlike Sanji, it had to be private with her.
***
There’s no weirdness on board at all; none of them seem to know what Luffy’s doing.
Sanji makes them a sweet toast with tangerine jelly and butter, a jelly with the unmistakable taste of cinnamon in it, a detail that makes Usopp’s lips purse. Nami might be as much of a glutton as Luffy today, giving grateful little smiles at Sanji whenever he brings more over. Part of him wants to pull Zoro aside and ask him how to approach the issue, but he can’t imagine making Zoro take a stand against Luffy. Still, Zoro is the first mate, and if Luffy’s brewing an issue between the cook and the navigator, Zoro’s the one who has to do something about it.
It’s the sight of Luffy and Sanji fishing together that makes Usopp finally decide to look for Zoro. The two are all smiles, whispering to one another. It’s not quite as flirty as that night time encounter, but it’s all too easy. Luffy laughs, his head falling back, and Sanji smiles at him in a way that tells Usopp he has no idea he’s being double crossed.
Nami’s on the deck, glasses on. Probably looking over a map. She doesn’t seem to notice Luffy and Sanji.
Does she know? Or is she also oblivious? Nami’s often the one who has to remind Luffy that part of captaining is maintaining the crew’s camaraderie. He thinks back to the words he wrote, about how vulnerable Nami’s allowed herself to be, and part of him thinks that there’s no way she’d be comfortable with Luffy betraying someone else on this ship.
He has to do something, or they’ll lose everything they’d managed to build.
Usopp finds Zoro inside, alone in a supply store. He’s sitting on the ground, back against a barrel, using a cloth to rub oil into his sword. The one that goes into his mouth, Usopp thinks, finding it funnier than he should.
“What?”
Zoro’s stern voice makes Usopp jump. Besides the word, Zoro’s given no physical indication that he even knew Usopp arrived. “Huh?”
“Are you looking for something or do you need me?”
“No, I’m not… it’s not that I need you, but… Yes, actually, I’m looking for you.” Zoro’s head tilts up, his hand still moving gently across the sword. When Zoro doesn’t say a word, Usopp takes that as his cue to keep talking. “Well see, if something’s going on with the crew, something that could be a problem, I come to you, right?”
“I’m not the captain.”
“Right, right. But what if the captain’s the problem?”
Zoro stops moving his hand. In a quick movement, he sets down his sword and stands up, stepping towards Usopp. There’s not much of a height difference, but Zoro’s presence almost makes Usopp step back. “You’re here to complain about Luffy.”
Maybe Usopp six hours ago was right; Zoro wouldn’t stand against Luffy. But Usopp cares too much about what they’re building here to stop now that he’s started. If they’re going to survive whatever this is, he has to get Zoro to understand.
“Well not complain, it’s really not like that…”
“Then what is it like?”
“He’s uh. He’s got something going on. With Sanji.” Usopp gulps. “And with Nami.” Zoro’s face doesn’t change, but he doesn’t speak, either. “Look, things are going so well, and I don’t want to see this go south because they’re fighting over Luffy.”
Usopp almost speaks again, to fill the silence, when Zoro finally speaks. “What do you mean when you say something?”
“You know, like…” Usopp interlocks his fingers and hits the heels of his hands together. Zoro looks down at his hands, and then back at his face, and Usopp hopes he’s not looking for any more articulation. He’s not sure he can manage it. “You know?”
“I see.” This is a big mistake, and Usopp should’ve known. Maybe he should’ve let it blow up on Luffy. “I’ll handle it.”
“You will? I mean, you’ll talk to Luffy?”
“I’ll handle it,” he repeats. “Now if you don’t mind, I came here for a little privacy.”
As Usopp was starting to learn, it was a rare commodity on the Going Merry. With a nod, he backs up out of the store. He wishes Zoro had reacted more to the news. Part of Usopp hoped that Zoro would have validated any of the conflicting feelings that have gone through him since he’d stumbled on Luffy and Sanji.
Is this even something that Zoro could fix? Wouldn’t an inevitable break up splinter the Straw Hats? Usopp can’t imagine doing this without any of them, even Luffy. Especially Luffy, the part of him that wrote about Luffy’s misdeeds as his own reminds him. The Straw Hat crew is Luffy. It had been Luffy that day, on Kaya’s birthday, who made Usopp think he could possibly leave her side. It was Luffy who made Usopp think he could be the guy he pretended to be.
He knew exactly what Nami and Sanji saw in Luffy, because he saw it in him. He still does.
***
Usopp’s eyes catch Zoro’s movements all day, looking for any sign that the bomb had already exploded. Judging by the way Luffy’s interacting with Sanji and Nami, he assumes not. It’s not until sunset that Zoro approaches Luffy, whose sitting on the bow yet again.
“Hey Luffy.” Luffy just turns around, reckless on the masthead, as if one wrong move wouldn’t cost him his life. “We need to talk. Tonight?”
“Of course. You know you don’t need to ask; you can always talk to me.”
Usopp catches sight of Nami at the whip staff. She’s got a smirk on her face. They had to figure this out without permanently hurting her or Sanji. They had to stick together.
Usopp knows the Going Merry better than anyone else on board, and he knows of a cargo spot near the Captain’s Quarters that’ll allow him to peek. Curiosity has gotten the better of him, and he needs to know how Zoro could possibly handle this. The cargo spot is tight, and his view of the door is limited, Usopp having to squint to see.
Luffy walks down the hall first, hands behind his head. It’s much bigger a room than Luffy would’ve asked for—Usopp’s sure Luffy would’ve been fine with a small bunk—but it was one Nami and Zoro both insisted he take once they settled onto the Merry.
Usopp might have fallen asleep in the cargo hold. He isn’t sure.
Usopp hears Zoro before he sees him, the green haired man stopping in front of his door. He knocks three times, loud thumps that almost make Usopp jump.
Luffy opens the door after a pause, shirtless and barefoot. “Yes?”
Usopp’s not sure what he expected, but it’s not Zoro immediately pushing Luffy against the doorframe. For a moment, he wonders if Zoro is going to fight him, but the thought is immediately banished by the way Zoro kisses Luffy. One of Zoro’s hands grasps Luffy’s forearm; the other tilts his head up to hold the kiss.
Oh shit.
Luffy’s head tilts to the side, a laugh on his lips. “I thought we needed to talk.”
Zoro turns his head back and kisses him again, deeper. “You’ve been spending too much time with them.” It explains a lot, Usopp thinks. Zoro didn’t react when Usopp told him because Zoro already knew about Nami and Sanji. Maybe they all knew about each other, and Usopp had really gotten them all wrong. Luffy was as brilliant as he seemed that first night, and Usopp had just convinced himself something wrong was happening because he couldn’t wrap his head around the truth.
Maybe the only person entirely out of the loop on the ship was Usopp.
“You know if you wanted to spend the night with me, you only needed to ask.”
Zoro leans in and bites his lip at that. Luffy lets out a whine, and Usopp wishes he hadn’t been so curious. It’s silly, but it suddenly feels like Zoro and Luffy can turn around and look at him. He can’t leave until that door’s closed— they’ll see him, they’ll know. But that whine might be the sexiest thing he’s ever heard. He rests his head and closes his eyes, trying not to even breathe. Luffy might miss it, but there was always the chance Zoro could.
Luffy giggles, and Usopp can’t help but peek again. The door to Luffy’s room is open, and Zoro’s picked Luffy up.
“Usopp knows.”
Usopp could shit hearing his own name.
“So? It’s no secret.”
The door slams, kicked shut by Zoro, and the words it’s no secret echo through Usopp’s ears. Part of him wants to press his ear to the door, listen to what’s happening in there, but part of him knows he’s already heard the most important part.
It’s no secret.
***
Maybe I’ve been blind. Maybe you, reading these letters, figured out the truth before I did. But it has become clear to me in the past couple of days that my crew have an understanding where I’m concerned. Maybe it’s a show of devotion for me. Maybe this is just how things work when you have no roots.
Before, I told you about Sanji and Nami, but now I have a story regarding one Roronoa Zoro.
***
They know.
Usopp doesn’t need to be observant to figure out they’ve all talked about it. Nami’s steering the Going Merry when he wakes up, carefully maneuvering the whipstaff, and her lips press together and she gives Usopp a nod. It looks halfway between pity and mirth, and Usopp’s not sure which would burn him more. In the galley, Sanji’s barely able to hide his reaction when Usopp walks in, a laugh sliding up his throat but Sanji barely able to swallow it down.
He wonders how Luffy will respond.
“So.”
Usopp shakes his head. “It’s fine.”
“You don’t want to talk about it?”
“No, no, it’s fine.” Usopp can’t even look at Sanji’s grin.
Luffy arrives just as Sanji finishes cooking, Zoro a couple steps behind him. It occurs to Usopp that they may have still been together this morning.
“It smells amazing, Sanji.”
“You say that every morning, captain.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Luffy slides next to Usopp on the bench. Usopp waits for something, waits for him to laugh at him, but instead, Luffy just wraps an arm around him. “Morning, Usopp.”
“Morning.”
“You want something to drink while we wait? Zoro, can you get us some water?”
Neither Zoro nor Luffy wait for Usopp’s answer, Zoro shrugging and doing exactly as his captain tells him. Usopp laughs, thanking Zoro under his breath as he’s handed a glass, and Zoro nods at him in response. Zoro heads for the beer rack, leaving Usopp with Luffy. Usopp’s eyes go from Sanji at the stove—who looks up slightly but then back to the food when he realizes Usopp’s looking at him—to Zoro at the rack, whose paying them no attention at all. All the male Straw Hats are in the room, and yet still, Usopp feels like it’s just him and Luffy.
Maybe because of how close they still are, Luffy pressed into his side.
When Usopp finishes his glass—he doesn’t know what else to do, and Luffy’s gulped his down—Luffy speaks again. “Can we go for a walk? Maybe on the deck?”
Zoro’s back is still to Usopp, draining a bottle of beer. Sanji once again looks up, but he shakes his head.
“Sure.”
With a yelp, Usopp’s pulled onto his feet. Luffy moves fast, acts thoughtlessly… even for Usopp, it could be hard to keep up. Luffy holds his hand until they’re out of the galley, guiding him along. “The sea smells incredible today.” Luffy takes a deep breath. It’s almost as if it’s his first time on the water. “The Devil Fruit took swimming from me, but at least it left me this.” Usopp follows him towards the mast, an unfortunate reminder of poor Merry.
“How’s it looking, Nami?” Luffy yells, walking backwards.
“Great! Get Zoro out here to help, will you?”
“Can it wait a minute?”
“I need a second hand in five, Luffy.”
“That’s more than enough time!” Luffy smiles at Usopp, who just manages to return the smile. In a quieter voice, but with no less pep, Luffy goes right into it. “So, Zoro told me you went to him.”
“Look, Luffy, I…”
“No, no, I just wanted to thank you. Your concern for our crew is admirable, and its why you’re here. I’m not trying to yell at you.” His hand reaches out, settling on Usopp’s forearm. The squeeze almost feels like it could untie the knots in his stomach. “And I also wanted to say I’m sorry. I wish you felt you could come to me about my behavior.”
Luffy’s apologizing to him. Usopp assumed the worst in Luffy, and Luffy’s apologizing to him.
“Wait, Luffy, I didn’t understand…”
“And that’s fine,” he interjects, smoothly. “It is my job to keep your faith in me, and I failed. I hope you can forgive me, and believe me when I swear to you I will be better.”
Usopp shook his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I assumed. There’s nothing to forgive, Luffy.”
Except the letters Usopp had written to Kaya, filled with his misunderstanding.
“You’re too good to me.” Luffy slaps his arm and grins at him. Usopp can’t help but smile back. He has no idea how he could’ve thought Luffy would do anything to hurt them.
He wonders how that started, how the others all fell comfortable into this kind of pattern. He wonders who approached who first. He wonders if any of them— he feels Luffy turning him around, leading him back inside, and Usopp amends the thought because right now he knows its specific—if Luffy’s ever thought of him the way he thinks of the others.
***
That night, resting in his hammock, Usopp tries to imagine himself in Zoro, Nami, or Sanji’s positions for his stories for Kaya. Something about the way he’d touch Luffy, if he was given the chance to be part of it. But Usopp can’t appeal to his stomach to get in his pants, wouldn’t begin to fathom how to instruct Luffy to please him, and he wouldn’t be rough with Luffy. Usopp wonders if any of them had taken the time to figure out what Luffy likes in bed. Usopp wonders if Luffy even knows.
He attempts to write four different paragraphs, but crosses them all out. He folds the paper as small as he can, seven times, until it’s a small triangle. He slips the triangle into his stack of clothing. He can’t let Kaya see how uncreative he is regarding Luffy.
***
Usopp normally loves the promise of open sea, but not when the day’s surprise is a bounty hunter who’d somehow managed to track them down. Today’s apparently his day to make 30 million berry. Nami takes charge, reminding them that this bounty hunter can’t collect without proof he’d killed Luffy, so unlike the Marines, they don’t need to be concerned with him destroying the Going Merry. He can’t risk Luffy sinking into the East Blue.
When Usopp tells the story of this battle, it won’t be of Nami’s maneuvering saving the day yet again. It certainly won’t be about a series of ineffectual cannon fires that Nami had to compensate for.
At least it was better than his first attempt.
There’s a tension in the air, even after Nami finally decides they’ve made it to a semblance of safety. Sanji recuses himself to cook, as if the best way he can imagine to be of help. Zoro manages to identify the bounty hunter, explaining that the man isn’t terrible at his job but he would’ve been out of his depth with them. Particularly on land.
“We weren’t on land,” Nami seethes. “We were on water, where we will be most of the damn time.”
Zoro nods. “How did he even know where to look for us?”
Usopp doesn’t think any of them love their current track record of running, but none so little as him. Usopp the coward, Usopp the liar… he’s not supposed to be those things anymore. He’s supposed to be their sniper.
He’s supposed to protect Kaya’s ship.
Luffy walks over to Nami and settles a hand on her shoulder. “You were incredible back there.”
She turns to him. “It’ll be like that from now on, do you understand? It doesn’t matter how good a people we are. We are pirates. People will try to kill you. People will try to kill us to get to you.”
“Then its a good thing we have the best navigator in the world.” Luffy smiles at her, supportive, in a way that makes Usopp think he doesn’t understand.
Still, Nami lets out a rough chuckle at that, which makes Luffy smile even wider. Her hand lays over the one on her shoulder, and she gives it a squeeze.
***
Usopp’s never seen Nami or Sanji write. They both just have their letters ready when they reach land. It does occur to Usopp that the things you write to a sister or father figure could be private, and perhaps there are things neither are ready to share so openly.
Yet its after dinner, and this time, Sanji’s at his workstation with a pen and paper. Luffy’s eating a tangerine at the table, facing out towards the workstation. His legs are crossed. Usopp draining a third beer across from him, back against their striped seat. Usopp offered Luffy some, but Luffy rejected it, content to keep eating. Compared to the rest of the crew, he’s practically dry. They’d spent so much time after Coco Village in a haze, their journey a comparative party. Usopp’s crew mates are all individually extraordinary, but that skirmish made it clear that there are still holes in the crew in desperate need to be filled. Not to mention an actual shipwright or medic, if that had gone south.
When Nami comes in, she makes a beeline for the booze, picking something with much more of a kick than the beer Usopp has. The gulps she takes make Usopp wince.
“This is good. I’ll miss it when we run out.”
“We’ll come back one day,” Luffy’s mouth is full of tangerine flesh.
“Don’t go crazy on my trees, captain.”
“What, you want me to get scurvy?”
Nami makes her way over to Sanji, taking another gulp. Her eyes settle on the paper, tracing the movements Sanji’s hand is making.
“Coltfish.”
The word’s random to Usopp, but Sanji looks up with a smile. “Thought I’d tell Zeff about some of the recipes I’ve tried.”
“Like coltfish.”
“With the garlic-lemon sauce. I think you really liked that one.”
Nami grabs his letter, the sudden movement making Sanji’s pen scratch through the paper. She crumbles it and then throws it on the floor. “You fucking idiot!”
“What did I do?”
“Coltfish! You’ve been describing our location with the food, Sanji! I bet that’s how he found us. I bet you wrote about the meal we had at that restaurant too.”
Usopp doesn’t get it, but by the look on Sanji’s face, he does. “I did what you told me to do. No identifying deals.”
“Coltfish is an identifying detail!”
“Nami, it’s okay.” Luffy pipes in, popping another tangerine slice into his mouth. “We are all unharmed. It was an easy mistake to make.”
Nami’s voice grows softer for her captain. “It's not a mistake we can afford to make. Not now, not when we have nobody trained in maritime battles onboard.” Her eyes snap to Usopp. “He barely knows what he’s doing with the cannon, and I’m still teaching Zoro how to support me in sailing the ship.”
“I’ll do better,” Usopp quickly adds. Nami just stares at him, but Luffy smiles wide.
“See? Perhaps we can find a place where he can practice?”
Sanji walks up to Luffy. His body leans down and his hands lay on his knees, and if Luffy’s legs weren’t crossed, it would have been all too familiar to that first time Usopp saw the two of them together. “I didn’t mean to put us in danger.”
The cheer doesn’t leave Luffy’s face. “I know you didn’t.”
“I’m sorry.”
“There is nothing to apologize for. Rewrite the letter without the food.”
Sanji smiles at Luffy, and if Usopp hadn’t known what was going on in the ship, he might have missed the way Sanji’s hands squeezed Luffy’s knees.
“Usopp!” Luffy’s body fully turns towards Usopp. “You should also give your letter to Nami, so she can check it.”
Shit.
Luffy doesn’t know what he’s asking. The smile on his face tells Usopp he doesn’t know he’s completely fucked him over.
“Oh yeah sure. I’ll bring it tomorrow.” Don’t let them see you sweat, Usopp. He forces himself to nod. “You know, I’m thinking I should head down. Getting kind of late for me."
“Tomorrow?” Nami repeats. It sounds like an order.
“Tomorrow. On my life.”
Usopp’s never moved so fast in his life. His leg slides though the ladder, only his grip keeping his crotch from slamming into it.
His last letter is already sealed, a tight bundle settled with his things. They have two more days until their next stop, and he’d never once considered that things would change. No one had ever suggested that they would need to read the letters before. Nami had mentioned in the beginning of it all that the marines could theoretically read their letters, but Usopp hadn’t seriously considered the risk. Definitely didn’t consider the risk that one of his crew mates might read it, either.
Stupid Coltfish.
They know he was writing one. They know all about his long letters, Sanji had made jokes about them. He can’t just pretend he wasn’t writing one. But he could burn this one, maybe add more spice about some fake adventures for the one he shows Nami. Maybe…
“You’re acting very weird, Usopp.” Usopp lets out a shaky laugh as he turns towards the door. Nami is leaning against the frame, arms crossed. “Do we have more than one leak here?”
A shaky laugh escapes, and Usopp grips the letter tighter. “No, you know me. Like 75% of this is stuff I made up.”
“Cool. So, you’ll have no problem with me reading it. I’ve got time right now”
“Well the 25% is kind of personal.”
“I don’t care about your sweetheart, Usopp. What I care about is the walking 30 million berries in a straw hat topside calling everyone to take a shot at my life and my treasure.”
“I swear, I haven’t written anything.”
“Good. Let me confirm that.”
“Nami, really, I can rewrite it…”
Sanji comes into the doorway, clicking his tongue. “No no no, if I’m subject to search, so are you.”
“Look, I’m sorry. I’ll just rewrite it…”
Sanji’s quicker than he expects. “And you just sat there and let her ream me out over Coltfish?”
“Wait…”
Sanji snatches the letter from Usopp, keeping it out of his reach, before passing it to Nami. Nami rips the seal and walks into the hallway with it. Before Usopp could follow, Sanji rests a hand on his shoulder.
“Let her get it over with.”
“Nami, wait.”
Nami unrolls the paper and begins to study the page. Usopp knows exactly when he’s busted, because Nami’s mouth drops. “Oh… oh!”
“What, what is it?”
Before Usopp can stop him, Sanji’s taken a step closer to Nami, reading over her shoulder. He finds it even quicker than Nami did, unable to suppress a laugh. “Oh, Usopp. Is that really what you think Zoro’s dick looks like?”
Usopp steps back, further into his room, suddenly wishing the Going Merry did sink earlier. He should close the door, but that means getting closer to them.
They don’t seem mad, but Sanji’s laughter is a barb of its own. Nami stares at him, eyes wide. If they were yelling at him, Usopp would at least have something to answer.
“Here.” Nami holds the letter out. The words offer nothing for Usopp to play off.
“Nami, I didn’t…”
“Just take it. We won’t tell Zoro.” Nami shoots a glare at Sanji, who’s still laughing. “Tell him you won’t tell Zoro.”
Sanji reaches out, pulling Usopp’s letter closer. He’s still reading it. Usopp’s hand immediately shoots out, grabbing the paper, wishing he thought to eat it or something. Sanji looks up at him. “What? It’s quite good.”
“Sanji.”
“Fine, fine, I won’t tell Zoro.”
“Or Luffy.” Usopp adds, too quickly. “Please.”
He’s surprised Luffy didn’t follow them down but utterly grateful. He couldn’t imagine Luffy’s reaction to this. Luffy has modulated between smiling imbecile and avenging angel, no emotions in between, save for when they were on Zoro’s deathbed. He can’t imagine anything else. He doesn’t want to.
Nami and Sanji exchange a glance, but both eventually respond, Nami nodding and Sanji adding an “Okay.”
Usopp takes the moment to stuff the letter into his pocket. Anything to get it out of view. “You guys weren’t supposed to see it, I swear. This was just something between me and Kaya.”
“Luffy’s sex life is between you and Kaya?” Usopp glances between them. Nami doesn’t look surprised by it either; they both know it’s got some basis in reality. Just not Usopp’s reality.
“No, no, I just took some… artistic license on it. For her!” Usopp adds. “I just wanted to tell her a story, that’s all. And she never really got to… you know, because of Klahadore, she and I never…”
Sanji slaps a hand on his shoulder. “I think we need drinks for this. Later, okay? We can… when Luffy and Zoro are asleep, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Usopp wonders if they’d notice if he threw himself overboard before then.
***
It’s midnight at sea. Luffy and Zoro are preoccupied, Nami explains… they all now know what that means… and they’re sitting in the galley. Sanji mixed sugar water into a bottle of cheap rum in a bottle perched on the table. They pass around the bottle, drinking directly from it.
“How did you write my dick looks like?”
Nami’s eyes narrow. “Sanji.”
“What? The letter said he told her before about encounters with you and me. So, he must’ve described what he thinks we look like naked. Are you not curious?”
She shakes her head, and then intercepts the bottle before Usopp can. “So. We know you know about us all hooking up. Were you spying on us?”
“Yes… but that wasn’t my intention!” Nami takes pity on him and hands him the bottle. Three gulps later, he thinks he can speak again. “First time was a complete accident. I was just coming to get something to eat and…”
“You saw me with Luffy.”
“Right.”
“Well I don’t do anything outside of my room.” Nami says. “You must’ve meant to spy on me.”
“No. I just… went the wrong way, is all. I overheard, but it kind of just happened.”
“The Going Merry holds no secrets, it seems.” Sanji rubs the table as he says it. “With me or with Lufs?”
“Luffy… wait, Zoro doesn’t…?”
Nami laughs. “Zoro’s hopeless. Luffy, Sanji, me… we share.”
“How does that work?”
“It just does. Sure, Zoro can be annoying, but Luffy’s soft for him so we let it be. So long as he doesn’t block Nami or me from getting ours, it’s not a problem.”
“It’s just a sex thing?”
Nami tilts the bottle by her mouth but doesn’t drink. “I wouldn’t say that.”
“Definitely not for me.”
“Why didn’t you guys tell me?”
“Don’t kiss and tell,” Sanji answers, “Particularly not when there’s a woman the caliber of Nami involved.”
Nami laughs at Sanji, and there’s a fondness there that Usopp’s not sure how he missed before. “Wasn’t really a secret, if you’d asked I’d have said we were. Just not really a thing that comes up organically.”
“How… did it happen?”
Nami gestures towards Sanji, and Sanji can’t help but grin. “All right, I can take credit for that one. Nami was trying to keep herself from getting too close to us, and Luffy’s not entirely naïve about it but there is something… almost innocent about him? I had to make the first move.”
“Honestly still is.” Nami laughs. “It’s actually what I like about hooking up with him. I go to Sanji when I want to feel gorgeous and I go to Luffy when I don’t want that to matter.”
“You make me sound so shallow.” Nami makes a face at Sanji, and it makes him laugh. Usopp can’t help but grin. He needs the drink. It almost feels like he’s part of this group now, more than before. “So. You wanted to turn Kaya on.”
Usopp nods. “I know I messed up. I shouldn’t have been… but we didn’t… and honestly, I barely know what I’m doing. There are things I wanted to do when we were together, but she was sick. She could barely walk some days. So I pretended I didn’t want those things, and she never told me otherwise. But when we left, she kissed me. And now I can’t touch her, and I just… wanted to give her something good. I’m not… not the way you guys are.”
“You don’t know how we are,” Nami says gently, though Sanji smiles at the compliment.
“I know.”
Nami clears her throat. “Does she think that the letters are real?”
“Huh?”
“Look, I know you lie. Which is why I didn’t really have a problem with the gigantic letters you’ve been sending. I’d rather you confuse our location with stories about mushroom shaped islands or whatever. But this? Does Kaya know you just want to titillate her?”
“I mean, I’ve never said, but she knows how I am.”
“So there’s a chance she thinks you kissed her and then just left to hook up with us?”
“No, she wouldn’t think it’s like that…”
“You should tell her. I’ll even chart us a place to pick up her response.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah. Obviously you two didn’t settle everything before you left. You want to know how this happened? You have to try honesty.”
“But what if… she doesn’t want what I want?” Usopp slips over she. He knows the bigger question he should be asking.
“No’s not the worst thing in the world, mate.” Sanji’s got the bottle now. “And Luffy and Nami would’ve never said yes to me if I hadn’t asked. There’s only room for confusion if you leave the whole thing unspoken.” Suddenly, Sanji laughs, distracting Usopp from all the thoughts he has of how Sanji could possibly have asked. Was it that easy? Let’s have sex? Ok? “Oh man. Oh man, just had a thought. You think our dear Vice Admiral might recognize his grandson in these if he’s the one who intercepts Usopp’s epic?”
A snort. Usopp’s too drunk to know which one of them it came from. Looking at Nami’s face just makes him laugh more, harder. She closes her eyes as her head falls back, laughing. Usopp could almost picture the stern man in the dog hat reading it over.
Usopp’s almost sliding out of his seat when he can speak. “How did you guys even know it was him and not me?”
“Besides Zoro’s fixation on our captain?”
“It’s the way Luffy speaks.” Nami shakes her head, the ghost of a laugh still on her face. “You should’ve reworded the parts where you quoted him. I can almost hear him. Just so convinced in himself and what he can and can’t do.”
“Once it was clear we were reading about Luffy…”
“…it was clear it was real.”
They both love him. Its in the way that they talk about Luffy. It’s not the same as Zoro’s love, but it speaks to Usopp in another way. He’d never even considered that people could live like this, love settled on the same person but not in competition. Loving more than one person, different but no less real.
“Oh fuck, if you two can tell its Luffy, there’s no way his own grandpa won’t.” Usopp covers his face with his hands, and they’re both laughing at him.
***
“What shall we do with the drunken sailor, what shall we do with the drunken sailor, what shall we do with the drunken sailor, early in the morning!”
Usopp stumbles into Sanji, only Sanji’s arm keeping him upright. Usopp wishes he could say he’d gone below deck gracefully but that simply was not true, Sanji helping him from below and Nami from above. Nami’s a better drunk than the both of them, walking ahead, leading them to her room. Sanji had insisted they see Nami back to her room, make sure she got back safe.
They’re all singing. Usopp’s legs feel like jelly and Sanji smells incredible. Usopp can tell Sanji is admiring Nami from behind, and Usopp can’t help but do the same. She’s beautiful.
Nami opens her door, and Usopp can’t help but look inside. He’d been in here before, but when they had something It’s even bigger than the Captain’s Quarters, clearly set up with Kaya in mind. There’s a folded quilt in the corner, the purples of the quilt reminding him of the corners of the room. The curtains are pretty, covered in delicate flowers. The soft blue on the walls that reminds him of the fairy lights over her bed. He sees a pink mug on the desk, and it reminds him so much of the girl he left behind. Did Merry imagine the day when Kaya would be well, and could sail? For a moment, Usopp imagines Kaya as the Straw Hats’ doctor, but the dream is too ridiculous to even take hold. He would not let her live the life of a criminal, even in his own delusions.
With a burp, Nami turns around, wrapping her arms around Sanji and Usopp’s necks. “I was serious about arranging for Kaya to write back,” she whispers, “But no more spying. If you’re not in the room, you’re out.”
Nami gently kisses his cheek, and then turns to Sanji. “Not tonight, chef. But wake Zoro up, will you? It’s his turn to keep watch.”
Sanji’s kiss isn’t on the cheek. She catches his lips, letting it linger for a moment. Her teeth graze Sanji’s lips and he lets out a sound that Usopp is not proud of reacting to. They did this too close to him, Usopp feeling like another piece of furniture in the room.
“That’s evil.” Yet still, Sanji is smiling. “She’s evil, isn’t she?”
She steps back, waving goodbye. Sanji laughs, guiding Usopp away from the door. Usopp’s arm reaches out, closing the door behind them. Sanji’s question makes Usopp recontextualize the kiss: not despite him, but maybe… maybe for him.
They start singing again, and Usopp’s not sure he’s hitting every word the way he should. Some of the lyrics come out more as mumbles. He misses a word or two and joins back in when he feels confident that he can match Sanji.
“You want a little fodder for your letter?” The whisper comes out of nowhere, and Usopp wonders if he really even heard it. Usopp considers Sanji’s coming onto him, but before he can consider if he can or should, or if he was utterly wrong and if he made a move and Sanji would just laugh at him, the two of them make it to Zoro’s room.
Sanji knocks with his foot, kicking the door. A gentle drumming, and then harder, more insistent. Finally, when Sanji’s almost stomping on the door, Zoro opens the door, furious, wearing nothing but a soft pair of pants.
“What!?”
Usopp can see into the room. Luffy’s asleep in Zoro’s hammock, in nothing but a shirt that stops just at his upper thighs. At a different vantage point, maybe Usopp could see more—if he was wearing anything else or if he was really as naked as he looked from here. None of the sounds Sanji made or the inevitable swings and jostles of someone climbing out of the hammock seem to have rattled their captain; he’s entirely dead to the world. Breathy snores come out of his open mouth, and Usopp finds the sound almost endearing.
Zoro catches Usopp’s glance. His face doesn’t change, but he steps forward, shutting the door behind him. Nami’s Zoro’s hopeless comes back to him, and it occurs to Usopp that he might have more in common with the swordsman than he thought. “I said, what?”
“Nami says you’re on lookout,” Sanji says with a laugh.
“Give me a minute.” Zoro’s eyes fall on Usopp again. “He’s about to fall over; get him to bed.”
Sanji salutes Zoro. Zoro barely opens the door as he squeezes back into his room, keeping Usopp from getting another peek at Luffy. The man in the middle of it all; the man whose dreams made Usopp and the others follow their own. The man who Usopp has pretended to be for Kaya’s amusement.
If Sanji was propositioning him before, it’s definitely off the table now. He’s just guided into his room. Usopp lets himself drop. Sanji would have been disappointment to him anyway; Usopp wouldn’t want his first impression with any of the Straw Hats to be a sloppy virgin.
If it had happened, he thought, room spinning, at least Kaya would never know. He’d make himself sound like the kind of man who could give Kaya the world.
***
Dear Kaya,
My crew has found out what I’ve been writing, and they have encouraged me to write this to you. Although Nami has forbid us from giving away location details she assures me that we’ll be able to receive your response at Mermelada Village.
I have not told you the truth in my letters. The crew has indeed been interlocked together, but I have not been involved. As much as I liked the idea of telling you these stories, you and I never really spoke about the rules for our relationship.
Here’s the truth, on Captain Usopp’s word: I love you. If you had asked me to stay in Syrup Village, I would have. And I love you all the more for the fact that you didn’t.
But after what Kuro did to you, I cannot force you to remain faithful to a man whose nothing but a bunch of letters. You lost your teenage years to sickness. All the time we could’ve had. I will not let you wait out your best years for me.
I will do whatever you ask me to. If you want me to wait for when we can be together, I’m fine with that. If you and I missed our chance, I am fine with that. I just want you to be happy. I’ve always just wanted you to be happy. Even if that means I’ll only ever be your friend.
I’ve wrapped in a couple new stories. Just for you. But this letter has to be entirely true, so I’ll end it here.
Yours,
Usopp
***
Usopp’s hungover and the movement that he’s come to love so much is beginning to betray him. He doesn’t even make it to the galley before puking over the side of the Going Merry. Judging by Nami at the whipstaff, utterly deep in thought, and the smell coming from the galley, he hopes that in time, he’ll be able to hang with the rest of the crew.
He wouldn’t change last night for the world, but this? There has to be a way out of this.
He feels a hand firmly rubbing against his back. He burps, and assuming he’s about to hurl again, he doesn’t bother to look up.
Dry heaving into the ocean. A real warrior of the seas, huh?
“Here.”
He recognizes Luffy’s accent and takes what he’s given. It’s a glass, cold, condensation already forming on the outside.
“What’s this?”
“It’s for hangovers. It’s actually Yasopp’s recipe.”
His father’s name makes Usopp’s head rise. “My dad?”
“When Shanks’ crew would come to Foosha, the first thing they would do is clean out Party’s Bar. They drained her whiskey.” Luffy smiles, still rubbing his back. “I wanted to prove I was worthy of Shanks’ crew so badly. I figured, why not help them when they were sick after drinking. Yasopp taught me how to make this. Didn’t make Shanks take me though.”
His father teaching things to Luffy, stopping in the East Blue… Usopp can’t allow himself to think too much about it. Not when Luffy clearly doesn’t understand the implications of what he’s saying. Still, there’s a piece of his father, right here in his hands, and Usopp can’t push it away. The liquid is a light brown color, and Usopp examines it for some hint of what his father could have put into this.
“What’s in it?”
“Mostly milk.”
“Mostly?”
“Do not ask.”
As worrisome as the answer is, Usopp brings the glass to his lips. It kind of tastes like a spicy liquid pancake, which is much better than Usopp had expected.
“Thanks.”
“Of course. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m pretty sure that’s the smell of Sanji finishing the meal.”
“How could you possibly tell?”
“He adds the garlic at the end!” Luffy laughs, but Usopp’s not sure he smells specific ingredients at all, or knows any of Sanji’s recipes well enough to know what the last step is. He watches Luffy leave as he continues to drink the milk. He’s not sure if it works, but when it’s done, he does walk into the galley and sit with his crew.
Sanji smiles at him when he serves the food, and with a wink, he tells him the grease will help. Another hangover cure, and this one Usopp’s all too happy to consume without question. Zoro’s plate sits uneaten next to Luffy as Zoro grabs a bottle. A dangerous game, surely. Usopp can’t help but smile at the implicit timer of Luffy’s rapidly emptying plate.
It was silly of him to worry about losing this, but he’s left with an even more pressing worry: what his own part in this could look like.
***
Usopp pretends not to notice it, but while he waits for them to reach Mermelada Village, evidence of what’s happening between the crew keeps presenting itself. It was as if once Usopp knew, the signs suddenly became obvious: Luffy going to bed and Zoro quietly following a minute or two after, Sanji and Nami drinking and talking lowly before disappearing together, the way Nami laughs when she and Luffy are talking alone at night, letting down her guard before inevitably saying goodnight for the both of them, or even distressingly enough, the night that Nami hooks her arm with Luffy’s and turns back to Sanji, crooking her finger. Sanji doesn’t even attempt to hide that he’s following them, gleeful. He’s near jogging, and he puts a finger to his mouth as he passes Usopp. As if there are any secrets left onboard.
Usopp stays up much longer that night than he hoped to, wondering what could be happening in Nami’s room.
They all seem to ask for each other so easily. Its an ease he didn’t ever cultivate with Kaya, a girl he now knows returned his affections all along. They sneak into each others rooms like he snuck into Kaya’s, willing to make the leap he never could. The leap his body is desperate to make.
Zoro and Luffy still don’t know the extent of Usopp’s desire, at least. Nami and Sanji have kept their word. He’s not sure Zoro would forgive him for trespassing on the moment, but he wonders what Luffy would say if he knew.
It’s no secret.
As they disembark on Mermelada, the thought that Kaya didn’t answer runs through Usopp’s head. What if they didn’t give her enough time to respond? What if she was too busy studying medicine to see Usopp’s letter? Or worse, what if she never liked the letters Usopp had been sending? He’d been so sure that Kaya would when he started writing, but it wasn’t like the two of them ever spoke about sex. What if Kaya had just thrown out all his letters?
“No need to be nervous.” Sanji claps a hand to his back.
“If its not there yet, can we come back?”
“Luffy’s kind of restless for us to head to Loguetown,” Nami responds. “Once we’re in the Grand Line, I’m not sure when we’re coming back.”
Usopp forces himself to nod. “Yeah, cool.”
Nami stares at him, and then she scoffs. “What makes you think she didn’t respond?”
Usopp doesn’t have an answer to that. The letter either made it to Mermelada or it didn’t. No amount of hesitation could change that. The only difference was whether he knew or he didn’t. When he was writing to Kaya, he could project anything he wanted onto her and the relationship they could have had. He could project anything onto that first and last kiss.
His worries turn out to be for nothing. As he meets back up with the crew for dinner, Nami grins at him, holding out a letter. Usopp knows Kaya’s stationary like he knows her handwriting, and the sight of it stuns him.
“This could be the last time she gets to speak to you for a long time. I bet she made it count.”
Usopp doesn’t put Kaya’s letter away, instead keeping it in hand. He wants to open it more than anything, but he makes himself wait. Kaya’s letter would be just for him.
***
Dearest Usopp,
First of all, you must be sure to tell Nami how thrilled I am that she trusted me enough to allow you to give me a location if only once. In a way, it feels like I am part of your crew, and that means the world to me.
I’ve come a long way since you’ve seen me last. Perhaps time is playing tricks on me, but I don’t remember being as strong as I am now. I don’t want to act too soon, but I feel in my bones that its time for me to leave my home and seek a doctor to apprentice to. It may not sound like much of an adventure to you, but to me, it feels like my story can finally begin in earnest.
I miss Merry, and strangely enough, I miss Klahadore. I know that Klahadore was never real, but sometimes I find myself thinking of Klahadore and Kuro as separate people. You must not think me silly for that. But mostly, I miss you.
To answer your question, I approached your letters the same way I approached your stories: if it pleased me, it was real. If I was afraid for you, I assumed you were lying to increase my suspense for your next letter. And reading about your ‘adventures’ on the Going Merry pleased me.
After you left, I also thought long and hard about what the two of us owe one another. When I realized you wanted to act on your feelings for your crew, I had to figure out what that meant for you and me. Perhaps it was unfair of me to kiss you when I was telling you to leave me. I appreciated your take on it, but now, here’s mine. I couldn’t ask you to remain celibate for the decades I know your career will span. For myself, now my body is my own again. I wish I could tell you I could remain devoted to your memory while you searched for the One Piece, but I don’t know if I can make that promise. I don’t want you to either.
Here’s my proposal. You can let me know your opinion in your next and I’ll follow, even if I can’t respond. When the day comes that you return to Syrup Island, I will be entirely yours and you mine. If no one has won you over from me on the Grand Line, that is. Until then, you are free to enjoy all the world has to offer. Bring me stories as I wait.
I am certain we can make it to that day, Usopp, but not if we start our relationship with resentments. I hope that you share my certainty.
And to prove my certainty, I’d like to tell you a story of my own.
I have a folio in which I keep your letters, and when I’ve had a long day, I take the folio with me to bed. I like to imagine which of my outfits would make you happiest. I want to impress you the next time you use the servant’s passageways to get into my room. I’d thought about it before. You should know I have, though I could not act on it in my previous condition. Perhaps that’s why I’d been initially reluctant to do what I’ve been doing but your letters made my urges too strong to resist.
***
“Kaya’s a good storyteller too, huh?” Sanji’s hand slaps against Usopp’s shoulder. Usopp jumps; he’d not realized he wasn’t alone in the hallway.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“The Merry’s only so big. You’re not the only one whose heard things around here.” Sanji winks, and Usopp hopes he can’t see how embarrassed he is.
Kaya’s not much of a storyteller, but Usopp was thrilled at the effort. She wrote about the ways she touched herself, which parts of the stories she liked most. She liked how Nami gave gentle orders, how Sanji seemed happy to please, how Zoro had a possessive streak. She wanted to know about Luffy, and she told him all the things she imagined about him.
Usopp liked that she was as turned on by it all as he was.
He should’ve known he’d have no privacy on the Going Merry, but now that Sanji wasn’t around to needle about it, he could be honest about liking that too.
***
Dear Kaya,
I think we have an agreement. Now the world will know how beautiful, kind, and brave you are. How could they not fall in love with you? But here’s Captain Usopp’s promise: when I return to Syrup Island, if you have found someone who makes you smile, I will make you smile twice as much. I will make you laugh three times as much. I will do everything in my power to win you back, because I know that the next great adventure after we find the One Piece is at your side.
Do not consider this a proposal. Not yet. When I return, I will do it right.
Tonight, I plan to make my stories real, like I promised you when I left. I’ll keep going on these grand adventures as long as you want to hear them. You might have noticed that I’ve not written about Luffy yet. I’m going to change that with this letter.