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Mash’s time at Easton Magic Academy had been, honestly, more enjoyable than he ever could've imagined.
He'd assumed, after spending all fifteen years of his life so far in seclusion with his Pops and being perfectly content that way, that he simply didn’t need social interaction. But after coming to Easton — truly entering society for the first time in his life — he thought it might not be true after all.
He'd met his first-ever friends here. Finn, his roommate, who always treated him with kindness and gentleness. Dot, who always supported him with violent enthusiasm. Lemon, who loved and admired him despite his flaws, and Lance, who had a sister complex but somehow still found room in his heart to care for Mash.
Truly, he felt endless love and appreciation for the four of them. And if nothing else, he was grateful to be accepted here just so he could meet them all.
But he also understood, increasingly, how dangerous it was to be magicless in this world. He kept overhearing conversations from classmates and adults alike about how beyond disgraceful it was to not have magic, how the impure lackmagics should be culled for the greater good of society, et cetera. He wouldn’t say it scared him, per se. Nothing really scared him, except maybe seeing a cream puff he was looking forward to eating being crushed under someone’s foot.
But... it did unsettle him, causing something to wriggle unpleasantly in the depths of his stomach every time he heard something like that. He began to realize, more and more, that the world loathed his very existence.
Was it so wrong, he wondered, to want to live a quiet life despite being powerless? He was still a person, just like everyone else, so why should he suffer for it? Why should his family have to suffer for it?
It just... It wasn’t fair, not really. He tried not to get depressed about it. He tried to maintain his normal blissful, aloof attitude that usually came without even trying, but it was becoming harder with each passing day. He began to feel, oddly, like he was only pretending to be carefree now.
It all came to a peak rather unexpectedly one day. He was sitting at a table with his friends to have a cream puff party and had just taken a bite of one when he was hit with an odd twinge in his chest.
He frowned minutely. Heart failure? At my age?
...No, it wasn’t heart failure. It felt more like... a sort of emotional pain, maybe. He set down his cream puff, earning him several questioning looks that he failed to notice as he let his mind wander. He couldn’t quite put a finger on what it was he was feeling, like usual. Strong emotions seemed to come out of nowhere and for no real reason for him. This feeling, though... it seemed almost like a mix of sadness and giddiness.
How odd.
Finn’s hesitant voice broke through his thoughts. “Mash, are you okay? You’re... just staring at that cream puff. It’s a little weird.”
With a small nod, he replied, “Yeah.” He had such good friends, didn't he?
The jittery feeling intensified. So he tried to will the thoughts out of his mind, and finished off the rest of his cream puff.
Over the next few minutes, he passively listened to Lemon’s gossiping and shot Lance a dispassionate look when he enthusiastically showed off a picture of his sister. He tried to stay present, he really did, but his mind kept wandering anyway.
Since a few days ago, he hadn't been able to get the thought of magic out of his head. The fact that he didn't have any.
Why? He asked himself. It’d never bothered him before. He was no more magicless than he'd been before, so why couldn't he stop thinking about it?
He looked over his friends, who were chattering amongst themselves around the table. Then the squirmy feeling intensified when he locked eyes with Finn from across the table, and a vague sense of understanding surfaced. Maybe...
Mash didn't have magic, but his friends didn't know that. And since most people hated lackmagics... they would definitely hate him, too, if they found out. Was this what he was worried about? Losing his friends?
He felt his heart give a painful squeeze in his chest at the thought, and it seemed to fit.
He slumped a little in his seat, feeling almost resigned. That’s right. All it would take would be one person asking the right question and he would be forced to leave, be locked up, or worse. Probably worse. While he could beat a few dozen people with his muscles, even he had to admit that he couldn’t win against the entire world.
And then he would never see his friends again. It could happen any day, at any time. It felt like the clock was ticking down.
Even if he could find a way to avoid being executed in that circumstance, even if he found a way to stay at Easton... his friends would be disgusted. Appalled by the fact that they'd been associating with a dirty lackmagic. And then they'd leave him all alone.
“Ugh, what?!” Imaginary Lemon screeched. “Oh my god, I’m gonna faint. I was really — *retch* — in love with someone of your kind?!”
Imaginary Lance’s face contorted in horror. “Really, Mash? Keeping something like that from us? I might have treated you with courtesy if you’d told us that from the beginning, but I just can’t help but be repulsed by you now. How shameless.”
“I can’t believe I was hanging out with a lackmagic this whole time,” Imaginary Dot spat. “Fuck, a thousand showers won’t get rid of your mutant germs on me. Gross. ”
Then Imaginary Finn, with tears in his eyes, looked at him with terror . “You... I've really been living with someone like you without even knowing? You’re horrible, Mash, you’re disgusting. I hate you for tricking me like that. I hate you!”
It seemed he'd delved too deep into his dreadful fantasies, because he was too distracted to suppress the strangled whimper that rose in his throat. Surprised that he’d made such a sound, he bit at his lips and hesitantly glanced up at his friends.
They were all staring at him with even greater shock than he felt himself, their eyes wide with concern and confusion.
“Mash, buddy...?” Dot began cautiously. “You good? Choked on a cream puff or something? Bit your tongue?”
Mash shook his head wordlessly. He opened his mouth to reassure them, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything back. No words wanted to come out.
They would hate you.
Inexplicably, his eyes began to burn fiercely and he tried a few times to swallow down the lump forming in his throat, but it only grew bigger. He lowered his head and blinked rapidly, trying to hold the tears at bay. He couldn’t remember the last time he'd cried, and he felt an uncharacteristic sense of embarrassment welling up within him now.
“Um... uh, Mash!” Lemon had leapt up from her chair, approaching him with poorly disguised nervousness. “W-what’s wrong? Would a kiss make it better?!”
“L-Lemon, I think that’s probably...” Finn trailed off, wanting to scold her but not seeming to come up with anything that would be a more helpful alternative to a kiss. He instead leaned over and gently asked Mash, “Are you okay?”
Mash looked up at his best friend, eyes brimming with tears, and began to sob.
If they'd been somewhat unsettled earlier, the other four were now completely panicked as a situation they'd never expected was unfolding before their eyes.
“U-uh, shit.”
“What is it? What’s the matter?”
“Is he...?”
Finn reached over to place a hesitant hand on his shoulder, looking worried. “Hey, Mash, talk to us. Tell us what's wrong.”
Mash shook his head vigorously. He couldn't.
“...Why not?”
“You would hate me.”
This seemed to draw even more fervent reactions from his friends. Dot, with an exaggerated gasp, said, “Don’t tell me you’re a murderer?!” only to be met with a sharp glare from Lance.
Lemon made an indignant little noise in the back of her throat. “None of us could ever hate you, Mash! Don’t listen to these idiots, I know you’re a good person!”
And Mash... was tempted to believe her. Was it really possible that they wouldn’t care about something as superficial as magical ability?
He considered this for a few moments. He... would love to get this off his chest, really. He’d been keeping his secret so dutifully and vigilantly since his arrival (...sort of) and he was starting to grow tired of it.
He sniffled wetly and glanced across the room at the open entryway. “Close the door,” he requested, and Lemon and Dot immediately jumped up at the same time to do so.
After the room was closed off from prying eyes and ears, he opened his mouth. "So, I don’t... mm...” He was shaking hard. He wanted nothing more than to change the subject at the last minute, to say something stupid and pretend that was his big secret instead, but he forced himself to finish. “I don’t have any magic.”
Several mouths hung open for a while before Finn broke the silence, breathing, “Wow, really?”
Mash tensed, waiting for the verbal assault to occur. But to his surprise, his friends’ expressions remained warm and relaxed.
“I suppose that would make sense,” Lance mused. “You never have used magic, have you?”
Dot’s eyes glowed with enthusiasm. “Woah, so all of that ‘muscle magic’ you were doing was just the result of your training? That’s awesome!”
Mash sat in shock. This was the best reaction he could've hoped for, and it was definitely too good to be true, so he stood up and abruptly made to leave the room.
“H-hey, Mash, where are you going?” Finn caught his arm to stop him in his tracks, and while Mash could easily break free from such a weak grip, he decided to humor him and paused.
“Back to bed,” he replied blankly.
“It’s the middle of the day, though,” Lemon pointed out, tilting her head.
Mash nodded. “Yes, it is. I think I’m dreaming.”
Dot let out an obnoxious guffaw. “No, you’re not! Don’t try to reject reality!” He then lowered his voice and continued, more seriously, “So… I’m not gonna lie here, I'm kinda shocked. I mean, I didn't think anyone could live so long without magic, but... look at you! So listen: even though it’s kind of a shock, you’re our friend, bro. You’re a good guy. So I don’t think it really matters whether you have magic or not.”
The others nodded eagerly, all of them agreeing. Mash found himself so overwhelmed with love for his friends that he had to give them all a hug. So he approached them, one by one, and gave them each a gentle hug.
“Ack— Mash, you’re crushing me,” Finn wheezed when it was his turn. Oh... it seemed like even the tiniest fraction of Mash's strength was too much for him. How sad.
Mash only reluctantly let go.
And so, as he enjoyed the rest of the cream puff party with his friends, his heart felt lighter than it had in months. He thought now, with a renewed sense of hope, that maybe things could truly be okay as long as he had his friends by his side. He smiled into his cream puff.