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Home.
Ray had never had a home before, never understood exactly what it was, how it differed from a house.
Ray had never had a home, or understood what it was, until Sand.
Sand with his big brown eyes, his long deceptively strong limbs, his sharp face which held the brightest smile.
Sand with his big heart and his endless kindness.
Sand with his surprisingly gentle hands that could do the most sinful things.
Sand who wiped his tears and held him when the days were so bad he could barely breathe.
Thanks to Sand, Ray learnt what home meant.
Ray learnt that home didn’t always mean the place you live.
Ray learnt that home could be a place, or a person, or a thing.
Ray learnt that home, before anything else, was a feeling.
Sand was Ray’s home, and Ray was his, and now they were building a home together.
After their graduation Sand and Ray had continued living apart, until they spent so much time in Sand’s apartment, it didn’t make sense to live apart anymore and so, Ray officially moved in. A year of cohabitating made the couple realise they needed more space, somewhere halfway between the music studio Sand worked at, and the hostel Ray and his friend’s still ran.
Months of searching lead the couple to finding an apartment in their price range the perfect distance from their places of employment, slightly larger than Sand’s place, but with the added benefits of no roommates. As much as Sand loved his best friend, he and Ray had grown to a domestic bliss, while Nick was still in his casual relationship phase after Boston’s departure to New York, and the constant comings and goings of strangers in their apartment was something neither Sand nor Ray wanted to deal with any more.
Ray felt Sand’s arms wind around his waist from behind while he was placing their mugs in the cabinet of their kitchen. Ray melted into his boyfriend’s embrace, a sense of calm washing over him, he loved the old apartment, but it had always felt like it was Sand’s place, and that Ray was just living there, despite Sand’s protests to the contrary, but this was theirs .
“Welcome home Khun Nu.” Sand whispered, his lips grazing the shell of Ray’s ear, sending shivers down his spine.
“Welcome home Baby.” Ray smiled, his eyes glistening as he turned in Sand’s arms, rocking into his toes to kiss his boyfriend in their home. Sand sighed into the kiss, his arms tightening around Ray to haul him closer as Ray tangled his hands into Sand’s hair, licking into his mouth, sinking into the heady bliss of his boyfriend.
“Can you believe it? This is ours! Our home!” Ray grinned as they pulled from the kiss, his excitement so palpable he was practically vibrating. Sand laughed, Ray’s excitement infecting him, as he picked his boyfriend up and span him around, grinning at the laughter that escaped from Ray at the action, the sound the most beautiful music the musician had ever heard.
Their journey hadn’t been easy, the beginning of their relationship was rocky to say the least. Sand tried his best to be a life raft for Ray to cling to when days were so bad he felt like he was drowning, and Ray in turn, tried to be the person Sand could let his guard down with. Some days were easier than others, but through it all they fought for each other and they fought for their love.
“Sand, put me down.” Ray giggled, eyes sparkling with pure unadulterated joy. Sand lowered his boyfriend to the ground, neither of them able to wipe the smiles off their faces as they gazed into each other’s eyes.
“I love you.” Ray whispered, unwilling to speak too loudly and risk disturbing the intimate quiet that had settled over them.
“I love you too.” Sand whispered back, pressing a gentle kiss to Ray’s forehead, breathing in the comforting scent of Ray’s shampoo, swaying the pair in place to imaginary music.
“Do you remember the promise I made you?” Sand asked as they swayed, Ray hummed in acknowledgment to Sand’s question before looking at him.
“You need to be more specific. You’ve made me a lot of promises.” Ray smiled softly, affection bursting in his eyes for the man who saved him from himself.
“I promised to love you, and to do my best to make you happy every day. I want to add to that promise now. I promise you that one day, when our government gets their heads out of their asses and realises that our love is just as valid as straight love, then I’m going to get down on one knee and ask you to marry me.” Sand said, voice cracking with the weight of his emotions, eyes sparkling with unshed tears.
“You can’t just say things like that you bastard.” Ray replied, his own voice just as weighted with emotion as Sand’s, his tears refusing to stay unshed and sliding down his cheeks.
“I’m going to fight everyday until I can call you my husband and this fucking country will legally recognise us as husbands. I promise.” Ray’s voice was determined as spoke, his hands cupping Sand’s cheek, the intensity of their gazes burning into the others eyes.
Sand leant down and closed the distance between them, catching Ray’s bottom lip between his own. Their movements were slow and unhurried with a practised ease, the couple moulding together as if they were made for one another, two halves of one whole. Breaking the kiss Ray buried his face in Sand’s neck, letting his boyfriend, the love of his life, his home, rock him gently, keeping him and his heart safe, and Ray knew that he and Sand would be together for the rest of their lives, whether the Thai government ever accepted their love or not.