The Reverse Isekai Called Real Life

by Msbellebelle

Summary:

You stumble across a person with an undiscernible amount of magic, whom you save and gives you the ability to wish your favorite characters into reality. Only after the wish has already been granted do you realize the consequences of your actions.

Notes:

Hello again! Just so y'all know this is a VERY self indulgent fic, so be warned that this will not be the best at times, as the only person I'm really writing this for is myself.

The "you" in this story is me, which you'll be able to tell going through the story, i just had an easier time writing it in a second person pov.

I think that's about it. I hope you guys enjoy!

Chapter 1: Junk Mail

You weren't sure how you got into this situation.

 

You were just going about your day, trying to get through it despite how much you didn't want to. The only reason you went outside was because you needed to get groceries for the month, otherwise you would've been left with nothing to eat. Besides, it was an excuse to go outside for once, and you always heard going outside helps with these feelings, helps you feel better, with the sun on your fur and the fresh air in your lungs. It didn't really help much though, you still felt awful, and having to go outside and walk and interact with people was just a societal obligation to you. It didn't feel good at all.

But you never made it to the store. Here you were, just about to reach your destination, when you noticed something in the corner of your eye. Turning to look, you saw an uncomfortable sight, a poor cat on the side of the road, thin and frail and trying to crawl to safety.

You saw a car coming. You knew it was dangerous to try anything, to go into the road to try and save an animal that was already on the verge of death, but you couldn't just watch it die right in front of you. The sight of roadkill always made you sick to your stomach.

Despite any instincts telling you not to, you had run into oncoming traffic, straight for the poor defenseless cat in an attempt to save it. Your nimble little legs were quick, and your tail helped you turn back to the sidewalk the moment it was in your arms. You could feel the air brush against your tail from the car driving past, and the horn blaring in your sensitive ears. It hurt your senses, and your heart was pounding, but you had made it. You saved the cat.

You looked down at the cat in your arms, and only then did you realize something. You were not capable of helping this poor cat any more than you already had. It looks malnourished, and already got hit by a car once going by its lame hindlegs.

The only thing you could think of doing was looking up the directions of the closest vet clinic, rushing over as fast as your legs could carry you. You never went to the clinic, which was ironic considering your body status, but it was because you could never afford the petcare bills. In turn, you had no pets, despite how much you enjoyed having both cats and dogs. It just wasn't a burden you could hold at this point in your life. You could barely care for yourself.

Hopefully, the clinic will still help out this poor cat.

.... Thankfully, they did.

Apparently, despite how much pain the poor cat was most definitely in, the vet that was assigned to it was adamant on nurturing it back to health. It was out of your hands now, it wasn't your cat, you didn't even know if the cat was already owned by someone, so you could only hope that the clinic would be able to do their best. You offered them your number, and left.

You didn't go to the store that day. You decided to go the next day. You'll just not eat for the time being.

 

You went the next day, despite being more tired than you were the day before. The clinic had not called you. You could only hope everything was okay.

 

It was the next day. The clinic has still not called you. You could only worry about the state of the cat.

 

It was a week later. The clinic had finally given you a call. It was probably the fastest you had picked up a call in your entire life.

You could feel a week's worth buildup of stress fall from your shoulders as the vet on the other side told you the good news, that the cat was significantly better now, eating regularly, gaining weight and being very vocal and friendly. Their back legs were still broken, but that didn't matter to you, all that mattered was that the cat was alive. You actually saved a life. Something you did changed an outcome.

 

Somehow, you felt that much better for the next few days. You had actually started going outside more often. Not to walk around, you stayed in the vicinity of your apartment complex, but it was better than staying stewed up in your apartment all day. You even bought some chalk and drew on the nearby pavement of the parking lot. It was fine. You were practically the only resident. You weren't in anyone's way.

You always defaulted to characters you enjoyed when it came to random doodles, so the pavement became full of your comforts, none of which anyone around would recognize, if anyone even saw.

For once, you actually appreciated the feeling of the sun on your fur, the fresh air in your lungs, the wind brushing against your whiskers.

...

 

A few more weeks went by. The high of the cat had worn off. You were back to your exhausted self, no longer going outside, staying cooped up back in your apartment. You looked out your window, just to look at the drawings you made. They were left untouched.

You felt awful, laying on your couch, staring at the TV with Youtube on, barely paying attention to the video you chose to eat to earlier. But then, you heard something, something that made your ears perk up; a scratching at your door, almost inaudible, but audible enough to your ears. What?

Peeping through the door's view hole didn't tell you what was outside, and the noise continued. You could only assume it an animal of some kind.

You opened the door to see the cat. Sitting there, looking up at you, the back half of their body in a cast.

"What? How did you get here?" You said outloud, knowing the cat wouldn't understand you. But the question still remained, how did they get here? Shouldn't they still be at the clinic, letting their legs heal up? How did they know where you lived?

The cat didn't care, it just awkwardly wobbled in like it already lived there. You had nothing to feed it with.

 

So, you immediately went to the store to buy cat food.

Sure, it was impulsive, but something like this felt like a sign to you, a sign that you have been adopted by this cat, that you have been assigned its new owner. You weren't about to object, even if it meant the burden of more money being pushed onto something out of your control.

Watching the cat happily chow down on the best wet food you could find though, it made you temporarily push away the stress that was financial loss. This was your cat now.

 

You named the cat Wendy after finding out they were a girl. A short haired brown tabby, who enjoyed cuddling and wanted to be with you at all times. You were perfectly happy with this.

Wendy's legs never properly healed despite the cast the clinic gave her, she was left paralyzed from the waist down. Giving her a feel with your paws indicated that her bones had healed just fine, it was her lower spine that was causing the paralysis. It didn't bother her though, she was perfectly content despite it. She even learned how to climb onto the couch and your bed with her claws, which you thought was impressive. A strong kitty.

You bought a cute bell collar for her; pale yellow, because it felt like it matched her. You started going outside again, letting her out with you, because you trusted she wouldn't try to run off or attack anything. Once again, she mostly stayed by your side, so that was never an issue.

You started drawing again, adding more to those doodles from before, as they were left unscathed. You colored them in, gave them a little bit of shading, and Wendy watched you the entire time. You couldn't help but think back to your highschool years, when you made chalk art in celebration for Dia De Los Muertos, and drew your cats then.

You decided to add a drawing of Wendy to the growing pile. She seemed to enjoy it, going by how she pressed into your side and purred.

It felt nice. Somehow, just having one animal in your life made you feel just that much better. And, for Wendy, having a rat in her life made her life that much better too.

 

But all that is in the past. We're back in the present now, and there you were, standing in the doorway, staring at a woman who was laying on your couch, wearing that pale yellow bell collar.

"I thought it was about time to finally tell you," She said, and it only made you that much more confused.

 

She invited you to sit down with her, and even if you were hesitant, you did so anyways.

 

Apparently, Wendy was a shapeshifter this whole time. A woman with a close connection to magic. You couldn't believe it, but that pale yellow collar fit around her neck perfectly, and her legs were paralyzed as well. Despite all logic telling you magic didn't exist, there sat in front of you was your cat, no longer a cat, but still holding her characteristics and even her name.

You didn't know what to think of it.

 

"It was my fault I almost died on that road, but I just wanted to know what it was like to be a cat, to become a cat. You understand, right? I mean, you aren't exactly human either."

That was true, you weren't human. Somehow, that sentiment being shared between the both of you made you feel comfort. Apparently, you were even closer to Wendy than you originally thought.

"I can tell me being around here is helping you as much as you helped me, and even though I would love to stay and be your cat, I don't think I can."

You tilted your head.

"I have people that I need to be getting back to. They're probably worried sick about me, and I don't want them to think I died. Maybe I can visit, but I can't stay... which- which is why I want to do something else for you! I still want you to be happy, I don't want you to go back to whatever mental state you were in before I got here..."

"So, how's about this; you seem to really like those characters you drew out there, I recognized that you have plushies of them on your bed and talk about them over calls with your friends, so, what if I made them real for you?"

 

Your entire body perked up at the thought. Ears, tail, nose, everything. You had wished that any comfort character of yours was real for as long as you've had comfort characters, no matter how fucked up of a person they were. You always craved the interaction from them, the desire to hold them, be held by them, be comforted and cared for.

You nodded without time to properly think on it, and Wendy smiles.

"Alright then, I'll do my best for you. I owe you anyways, so it's no big deal. Seriously though, I need to get going. They'll be with you soon enough."

After the confirmation, Wendy had morphed back into a cat, back into the brown tabby you knew. She hopped off the sofa and walked to the door, waiting for you to open it for her.

You did so gladly. If she had places to be, you didn't want her to stay cooped up with you for forever. She shifted into a bird, and flew off. You were sad to see her go. You hope she does eventually come back to visit.

 

And then nothing happened for a full month.

You had completely forgotten about Wendy's promise by the third week, back to how you felt before. Comfort was only temporary for you, and the moment it went away, so did your energy. A rainstorm had washed away the drawings on the pavement at some point, and you never bothered to go outside and draw anything new. You didn't go outside at all. You want a cat again.

You didn't even go outside for groceries this time, finally caving in and making an account for your local grocery store's website just to get groceries delivered. You didn't want to deal with it anymore.

 

You did have to go outside though. Your trash was overflowing, and it was about time you finally threw it out. You didn't want to live in a place that smelled rotten. Your nose was very sensitive, and you didn't want the smell to stay in your lungs for any longer.

 

It was late at night, and you were hauling a massive trash bag over your shoulder to the dumpster behind your apartment. But you didn't throw the bag away.

You threw open the lid, and spotted something peculiar inside. Trying your best to stand on your tippy toes and get a better look, you suddenly remembered Wendy's process.

 

Spamton was quite literally in your dumpster. Sleeping. Not a single care in the world.

 

You took a step back to process. "What the fuck.." you said to yourself. Even if Wendy assured you she would be bringing characters to life for you, it was still a doozy actually seeing one. And Spamton of all of them...

"Jesus, what do I do..." You rub your temples, trying to contemplate your next choices. Do you bring him in with you? Of course you do, you always said that you would be the one to help him back out of the garbage. But it doesn't feel right somehow. He doesn't even know you, does he?

You go to look back into the dumpster, but lose your footing and accidentally knee the side of it. You can see Spamton's glasses light up immediately after. Oh my god.

You take a step back, and he jumps up and pops out, irritated and yelling (as usual), "H HEY! QUIT THE [[Tennis Rackets]]!!"

The sound of his voice hits your ears like a brick and you whimper, going to cover them as you let out a pathetic apology.

He continued to stare at you though, squinting and seemingly inspecting you closer. It made you uncomfortable. Thankfully, he eventually goes back to his regular toothy grin (though he can't really change his expression much, can he?), "HEY HEY HEY! DON'T I KNOW YOU FROM [[Somewhere To Relax At]]?"

"Wh-what-"

"YES! YOU'RE THAT [[Tom & Jerry]] LIGHT NER! [[Fancy Meeting You Here]]!"

"Uh- oh- hi-"

Spamton tilts his head at you, confused by your awkward demeanor, "WHAT? [[Cat Got Your Tongue]]? YOU'RE BEING REALLY QUIET."

You prove his point by not responding.

"... ANYWAYS, HOW ABOUT WE [[Head To Your Place Tonight]]? THIS GODDAMN GARBAGE CAN IS GETTING ON MY NERVES!"

He jumps out before you can even respond. He takes a few steps past you, and then stops dead in his tracks.

"... wait."

He looks around the place. Did he not process his surroundings before?

"... THIS ISN'T MY [[Humble Abode]]! BELLE, [[Where the FUCK Are We?!]]?"

He turns back to look at you then, and you have no idea how to respond at first. Thinking out of your ass, you managed to get out a full sentence for once. "... I uh- I managed to bring you to the light world, remember? Did you forget?"

Ah yes. Gaslighting. Why was that your first fucking idea.

Despite the blatant lie, he seems to believe you anyways, "..OH YEAH! [[Silly Me]]! ANYWAYS, WHERE'S YOUR [[Humble Abode]] AGAIN?"

"O-oh, over here-"

 

You are back in your apartment. With a Spamton now running right inside and making himself comfy on your couch. It felt like you were dreaming, it was far too surreal.

You sat down on the couch with him, and as he grabbed the remote to turn on the TV, lounging as if he owned the damn place, your thoughts came rushing back to you in the worst way possible.

What does this mean for Spamton? He's in a world that designed him. He's in a world where thousands, maybe millions of people around the globe know him by name, but not in the way he originally wanted. What if he finds out? What if he figures out he's not supposed to be real? That he's a video game character, and his entire life was a lie?

Was wishing him into existence a bad thing?

Suddenly, you remembered the Spamton plushie on your bed. You should probably go and hide that.

Chapter 2: Pizza Delivery

Summary:

You're starting to deal with having Spamton as a roommate.

You have essentially what you will call "baby-proofed" the apartment, having hidden anything that could potentially reveal to Spamton that he was a video game character. You hid all of your character plushies- you had no idea which ones would be coming to life, or even if Spamton was the only one- you have limited access to the internet, and you have essentially forced yourself to stop talking to your friends over voice chat just to limit potential slipups.

Of course, all of these had to be explained in some way, save the plushies of course. You told spamton that because your computer was really old and ran horribly, internet was limited because your computer could barely handle the internet, and you barely used it before he even got there. That was a lie, you used the computer constantly, and it made you feel terrible lying to him.

You have also told him that he is only going out if you're also going out, which was basically your way of hiding the fact that you wanted to keep him hidden in this apartment of yours. You don't go outside, so he'll also never go outside.

And, to your friends, you informed them that you have gotten a new roommate and therefore don't have the capacity to talk over call anymore. The apartment is so small, they would be bothered by your talking. At least that one was true, you DID have a new roommate, but it still somehow felt like a lie.

Also, he keeps trying to sell you your own belongings. You need to keep telling him no to random deals.

You have to be careful when he's in the kitchen trying to make something. He seems to not fully understand how human food works, which is fair given he's only ever eaten internet data food, but that means that he has zero idea how to cook any of it.

He nearly put a fork in the microwave once. You saved it last minute.

... And speaking of food. You have found out that he eats money.

You woke up in the middle of the night at one point, only to find him snooping through your wallet and stuffing dollar bills into his mouth. That was the loudest you've shouted at someone in a very long time, and you felt so horrible that you couldn't go back to sleep.

 

Living with him was, quite honestly, a nightmare, and yet... Wendy was kind-of right. You weren't in the same state as you were before she arrived. You were too busy paying attention to Spamton to even think about feeling exhausted and low on energy. Sure, you aren't going outside, but that doesn't matter here, the biggest part of your depression stilt was the fact that you could barely even get up most days.

And now, you're getting up every day, making sure Spamton hasn't hurt himself or broken anything somehow. For a man who's in his fourties, maybe even fifties, he's really pathetic.

Though, too be fair, that is what made him catch your eye. You were always drawn to the weird, slightly pathetic characters with serious baggage.

 

This is making you realize that a lot of your comfort characters would have horrible chemistry with you.

Whatever. Maybe Spamton will grow on you eventually.

... What isn't growing on you is the lack of verbal communication with your friends.

The only way you can talk is on your phone, and you can't call out of fear you'll say something too revealing. You have grown very needy because of it, and your friends are very clearly bothered by this development as well. Your poor buddy from Australia gets so upset if you can't call or hang out in a verbal sense. You can't even play games with them. I mean, don't get me wrong, you have your VR, but you can't talk on that either. Your friends won't be hearing your voice for the forseeable future, and that makes you feel terrible. You really want to talk to them.

But you can't.

It's so frustrating.

Why did you agree to this?

...

 

... It's been a month since Spamton's arrived. Despite how much you hated it at first, you've started slowly getting used to the change in routine. You aren't as bothered by things anymore, you've becme used to how loud Spamton can be, and you've even started teaching him how to cook simple things.

Surprisingly enough, he seems genuinely excited to learn how to cook. At one point, he recalled a memory from before his so-called Big Shot era, where he tried cooking for someone he fancied, and ended up destroying his oven in the process. The way he told the story was very humorous, and it made you laugh. He seemed to like hearing you laugh.

They were nice bonding moments. It made your heart swell.

 

... But then guilt would set in, and you would go right back to feeling terrible about all this.

It doesn't feel right. None of this feels right.

Your relationship feels artificial. Why does he already know you? How does he already know you? What did Wendy do to make that happen?

It terrifies you, the thought that he's had memories of you implanted into his head, artificial ones that never existed in the first place. He's not actually your friend, he just thinks he is.

It sounds cringey, but you can't help but think about that one episode of Rick and Morty.

Are you a bad person for humoring it? Should you have just told him from the very beginning? He's going to find out at some point that he's not supposed to be real. You dread that time. You don't want to know what he'll think of you then.

"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU [[Has This Ever Happened To You]]? ARE YOU [[Still Kickin, Baby!]]?"

You jump. Oh, right, you were sitting on the couch with him right now, watching TV. You completely phased out.

"S-sorry, I'm dissociating. No need to worry, I do that a lot."

"IF YOU [[Say It Aint So]]!"

And he goes right back to watching the TV. Looney Tunes was on, specifically the version where Daffy and Bugs were housemates. Somehow, it felt relevant.

God, you really need to get a grip. You can't just be like this all the time when around him. If he starts thinking something is actually wrong, you'll end up backed into a corner.

But... how ELSE were you supposed to think?

You made a video game character real, and he seemingly doesn't know that he's a video game character. If he knew, none of the guilt would be there. But he doesn't. Or, at the very least, doesn't show signs of knowing.

You feel terrible.

 

You hear a click, and realize that he's changing the channels now. Oh.

"Got bored of Looney Tunes?" You say to him, turning to look in his general direction.

"TOO [[Bored Of Your Everyday Life?]]."

Boring, huh? You didn't think that show was boring at all. To each their own you guess.

You watch the screen as he flips the channels, barely taking note of the small blips of things you saw. That is, until you reached a news channel, and got a face full of a police sketch that looked far too familiar. Spamton flicks away, but you grab him by the wrist.

"Wait, go back to that news channel."

He does as he's told, and you stare and listen in, blood slowly draining from your face and your ears flattening as you came to a horrid realization.

 

Peppino fucking Spaghetti was out there, and he was apparently already making himself a wanted criminal.

Oh dear lord.

Living with Spamton was.... definitely an experience. You're not fully sure what you expected, imagining yourself taking him in and helping him get back up on his feet, because having him here right in front of you makes you like the idea of that less by the minute.

You still like him of course, but his personality and demeanor clashes with yours too hard for you to fully handle, and it makes you want to stay cooped up in your room all day and not interact with him. He's so loud, he makes your ears hurt, and it stresses you out because it feels like he's always yelling at you. Not to mention just how extroverted he is, as well as chatty. He may act like you two know eachother, but you're essentially a stranger, you only know him through media you've ingested, and it makes it hard to talk to him.

Chapter 3: Local Italians In YOUR Area!

So, here you are, going out in the middle of the day, having not showered in at least a week and basically wearing your pajamas, out on the lookout for a particular Italian man.

You essentially told Spamton that Peppino was another friend of yours, and that he gets in trouble fairly often, so you have to help him out sometimes. It was yet another big fat lie and you knew it, but what are you supposed to say? "Hey Spamton, I'm gonna go on the lookout for some fat Italian criminal for no particular reason!" No. No, you are not saying that.

Hopefully, Peppino will know you just like Spamton does. God, what the fuck did Wendy do?

 

You really hoped no one was giving you weird looks. You probably looked terrible, and smelled terrible, but that didn't matter right now. You can't just sit there knowing Peppino fucking Spaghetti was somewhere in your town, being hunted by the police. What did he even do to have that happen? Probably punched someone, knowing him. God, you think like you know him personally.

One small issue in your current plan though... How the hell were you supposed to find him? He could be anywhere, and your town wasn't exactly small. What did the news report say his last known whereabouts were? Somewhere near the shopping district? God, that still doesn't make it any better. Off you go anyways.

 

You haven't walked this much in a while, and it's making your legs hurt. The grocery store you get groceries from is not this far from your apartment, you're essentially walking on foot all the way to the middle of the town. How the hell do you expect to bring Peppino back without passing out from exhaustion.

Walking past an alleyway, something caught your ear; you stopped to hone in on the sound, and realized it was exasperated breathing, like someone catching their breath. You looked to the alley, but you didn't immediately see anyone inside. There was a dumpster, so whoever it was was probably hiding behind it.

You were risking a lot going to investigate this noise. Either you were going to see the local homeless man, someone masturbating, or the man you were looking for. You were exhausted, and you didn't care.

You walked further into the alley, swishing your tail back and forth, letting it brush against the floor and make noise. You wanted to give whoever it was time to know you were there. It seemed to work, considering the gasp you heard, followed by silence.

You stood next to the dumpster, and it was then you noticed a foot peeking out from behind it. A black shoe.

You hesitated.

Swallowing down your anxiety, you continued forward.

 

And you were greeted by the sight of Peppino, staring up at you, covering his mouth with one hand and gripping his shirt tight with the other. He was in full panic mode. You definitely did not help that.

You took a step back from him, your tail curling around your leg. "Peppino?" You say, quieter than you wanted. Thankfully, he hears you, and moves his hand away from his mouth. Yeah, he's got that signature mustache.

He stares at you for the longest time, which in turn lets you stare at him. He didn't look like his game self. You're not sure what you were expecting, but he looked like just some guy, a fully realistic Peppino. You didn't really think about it, but only because Spamton didn't change much from what he normally looks like.

"... Ah.. aren't you that.. one of my regulars?"

Peppino finally speaks up, and it snaps you out of staring at him like you've seen a ghost. Shit, so he does recognize you too. "Y-yeah.. I am.. I uh, I saw you on the news. Why are you wanted?"

Peppino groans as he goes to stand, no longer afraid knowing it was just you. Really, he should still be afraid. "I... I might've punched someone." Oh wow, you clocked him correctly. "B-but, they came up from behind me! They caught me by surprise! It was a complete accident, but now I have an assault charge on my head.."

Yeah, that checks out. "... Well, I uh, I came looking for you to bring you back to my place. To... to give you a place to hide, I guess."

Peppino stares at you with an incredulous look, "Are you sure about that?? You don't need to do that for me, we aren't even friends.. besides, that would make you also guilty! Wouldn't it?"

".. It would, but I don't really care. I uh, would rather not see you getting arrested."

"Oh.. well.." Peppino scratches the back of his head, "I guess it would be appreciated... I can't really find my way back to the pizzeria, I don't recognize this town at all, so a place to hide out would be nice."

You cringe internally. Shiiit, right, Pizza Tower takes place in just the United States, doesn't it? At least Spamton comes from a completely non-existent town. For all you know, Peppino lives in New York, and you guys are nowhere near New York.

"Alright. Uh, just so you know, I walked my entire way here, and it's kind-of a far walk. We'll probably have to sneak our way back somehow."

"I've already been doing that."

".. Right. Uh. Let's.. get going."

 

You wanted to die by the time you guys were finally back to the apartment. That was the most exercise you've gotten in months, and your poor paws hurt.

And then you open the door, let Peppino inside, and he immediately shrieks at the sight of Spamton.

Jesus Christ, you forgot about Spamton.

"H HEY HEY HEY! SO YOU'RE THAT [[Chef Boyardee]] BELLE WAS TALKIN ABOUT!"

"Ch-chef Boyardee?!" Peppino gawks, completely offended. You could feel yourself wince. These two were not gonna get along at all. You need to get in the middle of this before it gets bad.

"Alright, uh, Peppino, this is Spamton. Spamton.. Peppino."

"SPAM SPAMTON G. SPAMTON [[#1 Rated Salesman 1997]] AT YOUR SERVICE!" Spamton holds his hand out for Peppino to shake, and Peppino looks like he's genuinely considering not taking it. He eventually does though, but with much hesitancy.

"P-Peppino Spaghetti.."

Spamton pulls his hand back, "SPAGHETTI? LIKE THAT [[Yummy Yummy In My Tummy!]]?"

Peppino stares at Spamton, then looks over at you. You want to curl up and die out of embarrassment. So, you won't even pay attention to it.

"... Uh. So, Peppino, you're gonna have to lay low while here."

"I already assumed as much.."

"Yeahh.. so, uhm, no leaving the apartment, okay? And- and I don't know how much you get on the internet or anything, but that's limited because my computer is really bad."

"SAME [[Terms And Conditions]] AS ME, AIN'T IT?"

"Uh. Yeah, basically. Oh, and, I guess you guys share the couch."

Peppino looks between you and Spamton. He does not seem pleased with sharing a space with him, and you honestly can't blame him much.

Peppino looks back at you, and blatantly points at Spamton as he blurts, "What is he doing here?"

You don't even need to look at Spamton to feel the irritation radiating off of him now. "He's homeless, and I'm basically the only person he can stay with. You're gonna have to get along with him, because he's not leaving."

Spamton jumps up in the middle of you two, making the both of you stumble back in surprise, "[[That's Right, Baby!]]! NO GETTING RID OF [[Lil' Ol' Me]]! YOU HEAR THAT, [[Chef Boyardee]]?!"

"Wh- Stop calling me Chef Boyardee!"

Oh god. This is not gonna work out.

"Please don't fight-" You mutter. It was too quiet to hear over Spamton's voice.

"WHY? YOU LOOK THE PART! MIGHT AS WELL TAKE [[The Family Name]] AS WELL!"

"Why you- You think I'm going to take shit from you, shorty?!"

"SHORTY?!"

"Guys-"

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME SHORTY, YOU [[$@!%]]!!"

"Oh, so you can't even swear! Good luck being stuck on family friendly mode, you kid's toy!"

"Guys please-"

"TOY?! A [[%!@#]]ING TOY?! [[You've Done It Now]] [[Chef Boyardee]]!"

"Guys no-"

 

You were powerless in the conflict. All you could do was watch as Spamton tackled Peppino to the floor, the both of them now in a full on fight. The sight made you sick to your stomach.

You got back to your senses the moment you saw Peppino crack Spamton's glasses with his fists, rushing over and desperately trying to pull Spamton away from Peppino. For someone at least a foot shorter than you, he was still very heavy. Either that or you were weak.

"[[Let Me At Em, Let Me At Em]]!!" Spamton shouted, but you didn't let up, finally tearing him away and basically throwing him onto the couch. You stood between the both of them, making sure that neither of them would even dare trying to get past you to get at the other.

Peppino got back to his feet, huffing and scowling as he rubbed a bite mark on his arm. When did Spamton bite him?

Spamton was also huffing and scowling, or at least giving the best scowl he could manage. He was the one who started the fight, and also seemed to be the one left with the most damage. Somehow, one of his teeth was knocked out. You assumed it was just one large tooth.

You sat between the both of them for what felt like an eternity, looking back and forth and having no idea what to say. It was Peppino who eventually broke the silence, staring at you with a worried expression on his face. "Ah, topolina... are you.. are you okay?"

What?

You look down at your hands. Oh. Not only were you shaking, you were also crying.

The realization hitting you was the final breaking point, collapsing to the floor and curling up as you sobbed, unfiltered and ugly and loud. Neither of them moved to help you. Neither of them knew what to do. All they could do was share a look from above you.

This isn't what you wanted.

You just wanted to live with your favorite characters, be happy with them, care for them and have them care for you. So, so far from the reality of right now.

Chapter 4: Dinner Time

Summary:

Peppino and Spamton cook a meal together.

...

 

... You ended up running off to your room at some point, and you've been stooped up in there ever since.

Both Peppino and Spamton could only watch as you ran off, feeling collective guilt over making you cry. They might clash severely, but the one thing they shared was their liking of you. Sure, you might not be that close to either of them, but you were nice, you never did anything wrong to either of them.

 

Peppino sighs, running a hand down his face. He looked over to Spamton, who was still looking at your door, and Peppino hesitated. He felt like he should say something, but he didn't want to talk to this Spamton guy, and the words were having a hard time coming to him. What does he even say? He doesn't want to apologize to the guy, he wants to apologize to you, but he doesn't want to go try and bother you either.

"... Hey."

Spamton turns to look at him, that irritated look coming back to his face. It's like he blames Peppino for causing that to happen. It makes him grit his teeth, but he doesn't say anything about it.

"Look, I... I might not like you, but- and you probably don't like me either, but we need to at least try and get along. For her sake at least."

Spamton just continues to stare at him. It makes Peppino nervous.

"... What?"

"NOT UNTIL YOU [[I'm Sorry Mister]] FOR CALLING [[#1 Rated Salesman 1997]] SHORTY."

Peppino scowls. "Not until you apologize for calling me Chef Boyardee, cazzo."

Spamton scowls right back at him. Clearly, neither of them wanted to apologize for anything, which only made this harder.

...

... They were sat there for a full five minutes, just staring at eachother. Nothing was done, nothing was said. They just kept scowling. It was honestly a little funny, if it weren't for the context that they were trying to make up because you started crying over it.

Spamton grumbles, and finally caves in, huffing and looking away with his arms crossed. "... FINE. I'M.. I'M [[Sorry, Okay?!]]. [[Will You Accept?]]?"

Peppino smirks, and it only makes Spamton feel more irritated. "I'll accept that. And I'm sorry for calling you shorty. There, are we okay now?"

 

"SURE. NOW, WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT [[Tom & Jerry]]?"

"I don't know.. I'm not that good at.. comforting people? What about you?"

"[[Same Hat!]]"

"... Well. Do you at least know what could cheer them up? I uh... you probably know them better than I do, since you, you know, live with her?"

"HMMMMM..." Spamton thinks, putting a finger on his chin and squinting at nothing in particular. Then, he gasps, and you could practically see the lightbulb pop up over his head. It reminded Peppino of Pizzahead. Not a good thing.

"I KNOW [[Just The Thing For You!]]!!"

"Well, what is it?"

"[[Cook To Your Heart's Content With The All New]]"

"... Cooking?"

"YES!"

Peppino lights up at that, "Oh, that's something I can do!"

"SAME HERE! BEEN GETTING LESSONS FROM THE [[Ratatouille]] HERSELF!"

Peppino decides to not comment on the mention of the French, "Okay, well, we have something we can do, but what is the plan? Asking her to come cook with us, or?"

"HMM.. I DON'T THINK WE CAN GET HER TO [[Help A Guy Out]], SHE GETS REALLY [[There Is No Help For You]] WHEN SHE'S IN A BAD MOOD. WE CAN ALWAYS TRY [[Annual Cook-off]] TOGETHER?"

"... Fine, but if you mess anything up, don't think I won't punch you again!"

"[[I Like Those Odds]]!" Spamton grins, looking cocky as ever despite his still bruised up state. His fuckin nose was crooked.

"Alright. So uh, what is there to cook?" Peppino asks, mostly to himself as he makes his way to the kitchen. He begins searching through the fridge, the pantry, the cabinets and cupboards, just trying to get a feel for what was all available to him.

Peppino finds some dried pasta- several kinds, actually-, jarred sauces, and even some frozen meat in the freezer. As an Italian, of course he would be drawn to the pasta. Weighing out all his options, he eventually decides on making fettucine alfredo, and although the only alfredo available to him wasn't authentic, he couldn't really complain. I mean, he lives in America, not everything is going to be authentic, he learned that very early on. And heck, with that thought process, might as well slap some chicken on it. He can swallow his pride on it.

"Alright, here's what we're going to do. I'm going to make this pasta, and you are going to cook this chopped up chicken. Okay?"

"[[Thumbs Up Emoji]]!"

"... I don't know what an emoji is, but okay."

...

You were curled up in your bed, holding your seal plush tightly in your arms. You had stopped crying at some point, but you no longer had the energy to get up, and you didn't even want to anyways. You were scared of going back out there. You were so embarrassed, why did you have to start crying in front of them like that? There's no way coming back out and trying to talk wouldn't be awkward, it's always awkward after something like that happens.

You don't want to look at them after that. You barely wanted to look at them before.

 

... What's that smell?

You perk up at the sudden smell of something, sniffing the air and slowly sitting up. You eventually realize that it was coming from outside your room, presumably from the kitchen. It was then that you heard the sound of something sizzling too.

Was one of them cooking?

You could only assume it was Peppino, he's the one of the two with the most cooking prowess, and you feel like he wouldn't trust Spamton anywhere near the stove.

You half considered finally coming out to investigate, but you barely had the energy to sit up, let alone leave your bed. So, you fell back, and decide to just get on your phone for the time being. Might as well watch cat videos while you're feeling like trash.

 

You heard a knock on your door a few moments later, or maybe it was twenty minutes later, you can't tell how much time passes that well.

"Topolina, we uh, we made some fettuccine, if you want to get some. No- No pressure to though, if you're not hungry."

You could hear Peppino's voice from behind the door, and the promise of fettuccine if you left your room made you a little excited. It was one of your main comfort foods, so maybe getting some would help.

"... We'll be out here, if you want to eat with us."

Do you?

You sit up, and rub at your eyes, rubbing the crust from your eyes and the dried tears from your fur. No matter how hard you cleaned, your eyes always felt like it had something in it, so you decided it didn't matter anymore.

You got up and threw your seal back onto the bed. You walk to the door and walk out, trying to not pay too much attention to Spamton and Peppino, or how either of them stared at you. Spamton was sitting on the counter, how he got up there you didn't know, but he offered you a bowl when you got close.

"HERE YOU GO [[Tom & Jerry]]!" Spamton bouts, trying to offer you the best real smile he could manage, though you didn't look at him for long. It was harder to stare at someone after something had happened.

You muttered a soft "thank you," and serve yourself some of the pasta, being cautious of your hands being over the pot. You could feel the eyes of both the men burning into your back, and it didn't help you feel better in the slightest.

You moved to the fridge, snatched a water bottle, quickly grabbed a fork, and, despite your brain telling you to go stoop back into your room, you decided to sit down at your table. Peppino was also sitting at the table, but you didn't really look at him. You did mutter another "thank you" though, directed at him, before taking a bite.

"Oh! Uh, You're welcome?"

You knew this was probably just made by the supplies you already had, but somehow, the fact that it was made by someone else made it taste better. Or maybe you were hungry. Or sad. All three of those things could add to the taste. But it didn't matter, you found yourself shoving fork fulls into your mouth either way, even though the chicken was kinda dry.

Spamton had joined at the table at some point, and even though he didn't really eat in the traditional way, he still had a bowl of his own.

Somehow, this felt nice. You might've just came from crying right in front of these two, but eating together at the table silently felt... calming. You expected it to feel uncomfortable, and yet, it didn't.

".. Belle."

You pause. Suddenly, the stress was coming back.

"We- I don't really want to.. see you like that again, so- I'll try my best to get along with.. him. I don't know about him though."

"IT'LL TAKE MORE THAN [[Sob Stories]] TO GET ME TO DEAL WITH THIS [[Fresh Taste Of Italian]]!"

Peppino sputters at the weird phrasing, and the specific cut-in caught you so off guard that you laughed. You didn't mean to, but you had to admit that it was funny.

"WHAT? WHAT'S SO [[Haha! That's So Funny!]]?"

"Sorry- I'm just- I wasn't- I wasn't expecting that-" You sputter out, now taking a sip of water and regulating your breathing.

"I'm not sure if I like you calling me that either... I almost prefer Chef Boyardee after hearing that."

"OH? DOES THAT MEAN I GET REIGN TO CALL YOU [[Chef Boyardee]] AGAIN?"

"Hell No! I was just saying."

"[[Damn, Tough Crowd]]! YOU NEED TO GIVE ME SOMETHING TO [[Call Me By Your Name]]!"

Spamton pauses. So does Peppino and you.

"W-WAIT, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT! I-I [[Oops! Silly Me!]]!! I MEAN- I MEAN- I MEAN-" Spamton ends up stuck on a loop, and instead opts to slapping his hand over his mouth and going red in the face.

Yeah, you're laughing even harder now. Even Peppino was laughing.

Despite Spamton's embarrassment, it was good to finally feel good again.

Chapter 5: New Dawn, New Dusk

It's been a few days. Their first meeting might've been poor, but thankfully Peppino and Spamton have been doing their best to get along. It's very obvious that they still don't like eachother though. There's a tension between them, but it doesn't feel as bad as the first time they met.

Somehow, having Peppino around has made you feel comfortable in your own home again, mostly because there was someone else that you could more easily relate to in the apartment now. You like Spamton, but your personalities do not fit together all that well. At least you and Peppino can silently enjoy eachother's company, what with how asocial and anxiety ridden the both of you are.

However, having Peppino around has brought its.... own issues, to say the least.

Somehow, you didn't realize just how much technology has advanced in the span of over twenty years.

...

 

"What is that?"

You were on the couch, phone in hand, brightness all the way down to make sure neither of them could see the screen. You didn't even process the question at first, taking a few seconds to even realize you were spoken to. "My phone?" You respond, unsure of what Peppino was asking.

"That's a phone?!" He gawks, confusion clear on his face. It was then that you realized that you might have fucked up.

...

"Why is the television so.. big, and.. flat?"

...

"What is that white rectangle sitting on your chair?"

"A VR headset."

"What's 'VR'?"

...

You could never give him proper answers. You worried that saying anything else would only cause things to become worse.

You never processed the idea that Peppino could've been from a different time period. It makes sense, of course Pizza Tower would take place in the 90's. You never thought about it before he showed up, you didn't need to, Spamton knew and understood every bit of technology that was around your apartment. You could only assume what it was like to be in Peppino's footsteps; he was in a town he couldn't recognize, hiding from the cops, surrounded by weird contraptions and technology that was completely alien to him in an apartment that felt all too familiar. It must've been headache inducing.

That wasn't the only thing though. Speaking of being in a town he couldn't recognize, he would frequently ask you where they were.

It's understandable. For all he knew, he just went to bed last week, and woke up in the middle of a street in a busy town. Sure, not the weirdest thing he's probably experienced, but something about it felt off, and he wanted to get to the bottom of where exactly he was.

You didn't want to tell him the answer to that either.

You didn't want to tell him the answer to a lot of things.

Your guilt was very clear. It made Peppino suspicious of you.

...

 

... There was one day, where everything was fairly normal. Well, as normal as having two fictional people in your apartment can be. You, Peppino, and Spamton were all sitting around and playing Uno, you had a deck and decided it would be fun to play and pass the time. Peppino was very clearly losing, and Spamton was currently focusing on forcing even more cards onto him.

You could feel the rage ebbing off of Peppino everytime Spamton dropped down a plus two or a plus four, and you felt guilty everytime the rotation changed and you had to use your own plus cards. Peppino was seething, on the verge of screaming, which wouldn't be ideal considering how sensitive your ears were.

Spamton puts down a plus four.

"RED! [[Go Fish]], ITALIANO! AEHEAHAEHEAHAEHEAH!"

That was the final straw. Peppino yells, starting you from your position and desperately trying to cover your ears, and in his fit of rage, he slams his hands down onto the table. He slammed the table so hard, cards fell off and onto the floor.

It was clear he was just about to rage even more, but he was suddenly stunned out of his tantrum. "O-ow-!" Peppino let out, sounding surprised.

"That- h-hurt..."

Peppino stared down at his hands, confused and bewildered, as he rubbed the sore spots tenderly. It was as if he didn't expect that to hurt.

The way he said it felt so jarring to you. It felt too genuine, too real, like he actually didn't expect slamming his fists down that hard to hurt.

Then it dawned on you. His world has cartoon logic. Something like that wouldn't normally hurt.

You think he's going to have a bad time living here.

...

You keep yourself awake at night sometimes, contemplating everything that's happened. You fear the inevitable crash of everything tumbling down around you, the entire facade you've set up to hide reality from them. You fear that Peppino will figure it out first. He's not dumb, in fact he's probably very smart, and it's clear that he knows something is wrong here. Too much is different to what he knows for him to not be suspicious. You wish you weren't the direct cause of that.

And, speaking of staying up at night sometimes, tonight was one of those nights. You couldn't even bring yourself to close your eyes. You had tried to sleep for a solid thirty minutes, it was two in the morning, and nothing you did was working, not even putting on background noise to sleep to worked.

You groan.

You were a little hungry. Might as well get up and get something to eat.

When you exit your bedroom, you notice Peppino sitting at the table, also equally not asleep. He looks up at you as you walk in. "Oh. I thought you were asleep."

"I thought you were asleep too," you say, being mindful of the sleeping Spamton on the couch nearby. You take a seat next to Peppino for the time being, already having forgotten your task of food.

"... So... what's keeping you up?"

"Insomnia I think. You?"

"Same here... plus, that little freak kicked me awake earlier...!"

You give that a solid nose exhale of a laugh. The imagery of Spamton kicking into Peppino's side in his sleep felt amusing to you. It was then that your stomach growled, and you suddenly remembered what you were out of your room for.

You looked over to Peppino, and suddenly, an idea came to your mind.

"... Hey, Peppino. Are you hungry?"

".. A little.. Why?"

"I uh, I was thinking we could go to McDonald's or something. You'd probably have to wear a hoodie and a mask, but still. You've uh, been wanting to go outside again anyways... so... yeah."

"Hm. Do you have a hoodie that would fit me?"

Oh. Right. The only clothes he has is the clothes he normally wears.

You decide to go and check your closet. You have a tendency to buy sweaters and hoodies that were two sizes bigger than yours, mostly because you enjoyed the feeling of baggy clothes. You picked out the most generic looking one, and headed back to offer it to Peppino.

"Here, see if this one will fit."

Peppino takes the hoodie from you, a black hoodie, and fumbles putting it over his head. He gets stuck at some point, but a little bit of tugging on your part helps him get it on.

He looks down at himself. "... It's a... it's a little tight around the belly, but.. eh, I think it's fine."

"Okay, cool. Let me get dressed then."

 

So, after you get dressed, grab your purse, and a mask for Peppino to wear, you two head off to the closest 24/7 McDonald's. There was actually a few in the town you lived in, you have some fond memories of going to one every now and then, late at night, with no one but the night shift employees around as you eat your meal.

Corporations suck, but nothing compares to the mood a situation like that gives you.

You didn't walk by feet this time, hell no, going to grab Peppino the first time taught you that you're not doing that again anytime soon. Instead, you grab an uber, which only makes you wonder just how many people were actually awake right now.

Nothing was said on the car ride there, just a relaxing silence, the best ride you can think of. Peppino seems to understand that it's best to lay low, at least while he's wanted by the police.

You get there eventually. You haven't been to a mcdonalds at this hour in a long time, so it almost feels nostalgic to you. The only people inside were some drunk friends and the employees. Somehow, the laughter coming from the group of drunkards as the both of you order only adds to the experience. It feels comfy.

...

... Something starts moving inside the play place.

Without warning, something crashes to the floor in the play place, and everyone's attention goes straight to the windows. The play place was closed for the night, the lights were off, it was hard to see what was happening inside. Something was running around inside, knocking over more and more items, crashing into things left and right. You could tell that the stress levels in the room suddenly grew tenfold.

It was then that whatever it was crashed against the window, causing you and Peppino to flinch, and the drunkards to yell and scramble away from their table. It crashes against the window again, cracking the glass on it's second push. It was then that you noticed two glowing red dots from the figure.

It looked like they were staring directly at you.

In that moment, just as they reared back to push against the window one last time, you recognized who those red eyes belonged to.

Moon came crashing through the glass, the drunks screaming and running further towards the far corner. Even the employees, safe behind their counter, ran off deeper into the kitchen. Leaving both you and Peppino the closest targets.

The lighting in the place was dim at this time of night, but seeing his features lock onto you sent a chill down your spine, and the unsettling giggle from his voicebox made your tail curl.

"Nauuughtyyy... ~"

Moon lunges.

And Immediately gets smashed in the face with a chair.

 

Apparently, while you were having a staring contest with Moon, Peppino had grabbed a chair to protect the both of you, and... well, it definitely worked.

You looked down at the animatronic, now writhing on the floor, making uncomfortable feedback from his voicebox. Then, he stops. Moon completely shuts down. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, and your legs nearly give out. Peppino catches you in time before you also fall to the ground.

 

Nothing was said by anyone in the room, either they were staring at the both of you, or the robot on the floor. You didn't dare make a peep either. Yet, unfortunately, you need to get this guy out of here. It's not safe keeping him roaming around where anyone could find him.

So, you kneel to grab his arm, and start trying to drag him. You could barely move him on your own, he was much heavier than his thin frame would make him out to be. Peppino was confused by what you were doing, but decided it was best not to question it. Instead, he helps you drag him out.

It was a slow process, but Peppino was strong, so it helped. You could feel the eyes of the others on you as you pulled him outside, into the parking lot. You're gonna have to order another Uber.

...

... Just before you leave, you run back inside, grab your meal bag, and run back out.

Those poor employees inside are definitely gonna have a story to tell to their manager.

Notes:

People in the comments keep mentioning the spamton sweepstakes and how spamton knows hes a fictional character. For clarity's sake, i lost my spamton hyperfixation when the spamton sweepstakes happened, so i wasnt really around for all of that. For this fic, lets just ignore them for now :^]

Chapter 6: The Gang Is All Here!

The Uber drive back home was extremely awkward, uncomfortable too. Both you and Peppino had to struggle to shove Moon into the vehicle, and then also somehow figure out how to sit around him. The poor driver had no clue what was going on either, and you decided it was best to not say anything about it.

So. Getting back inside.

There was no way this wasn't going to wake up Spamton, pulling Moon out of the car and dragging him across the parking lot made an uncomfortable scratching sound on the pavement, and any movement of his joints made that clicking sound. He was practically a (currently unconscious) living noisemaker, there is no way Spamton won't wake up upon your arrival.

Oh, also the food. That little bastard practically floats in the air nose first the moment he smells food.

 

And yeah, Spamton wakes up. Not because of Moon's body, but because Peppino quite literally slams the door open.

"[[Jiminy Crickets]]! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT [[Noisemakers $4.99]]??" Spamton says, jolting awake in the span of a second. He looks over, and immediately sees the both of you dragging in what looked like a robotic corpse. Fun. "AH, A NEW TENANT I SEE! [[How Delightful]]!"

You and Peppino decide to drop them in the middle of the living room floor, Moon now face down in front of the couch. You really need to figure out sleeping quarters at this point.

You huff and practically collapse on the couch next to Spamton, deciding that that was all the workout you needed for the rest of the month. Peppino does the same, sitting on the opposite side of Spamton as you.

Spamton pokes you on the shoulder, getting your attention. You lean your head up, "Huh?"

"SO! WHO'S THE NEW [[Clown Around Town]]?"

Peppino leans over, "... Yeah, you never told me why we were dragging this thing here?"

"Oh. Uh. That's... Moon. And Sun, I think."

"And you know them... how...?"

"Uh," God you hate making lies on the spot, "... They're the mascot of a daycare I used to visit."

Unfortunately, this only confuses Peppino more, "What?? S-so, you're telling me a robot, that works at a daycare, somehow escaped and decided to terrorize some McDonald's??? In the middle of the night no less??"

"Uh," You look down at Moon, ".. I think that's just his thing. It's uh, it's very late, and he doesn't really like it when, uh, when people stay up past their bedtime."

"..." Peppino leans back, "... Okay. Sure.. That definitely answered what I said..."

Spamton snickers, "[[Golly]], SOUNDS LIKE THE TWO OF YOU HAD FUN WITHOUT ME! CARE TO [[Show Me The Car Facts]]?"

"O-oh, yeah... uh, Peppino and I went to McDonald's because we were kinda hungry, and Moon was in the play place and smashed out a window. Peppino kinda... uh, he smashed a chair over his head when he tried lunging at me." You pause. "... Oh! Uh, by the way Peppino, here's your food." You shuffle to grab the bag, and then pick out his burger and fry. You had to lean over Spamton to hand it over.

Peppino takes the food, "Thank you, topolina.." he takes a bite out of his burger and continues, ".. I think you need to think harder about the people you allow in here. Are you sure this... Moon guy, isn't just gonna attack you again..?"

"... Uh." You were actually not sure on that one. You awkwardly bite your burger to avoid answering.

Peppino stares at you. Shiiit, he can totally see your lack of confidence.

"HONESTLY, I AGREE! SHOULD'VE TOTALLY [[Ask For Permission]] FROM ME BEFORE [[Ew, Who Let This Guy In Here?]]!" Spamton says, pointing directly at Peppino and laughing.

Peppino scoffs, "Sh-shut it, cazzo! You're exactly who I am talking about! Sharing a couch to sleep on with you is awful..."

Spamton gasps dramatically and puts a hand over his heart, "[[Oh You Wound Me So]]! I'M OFFENDED, ITALIANO! I THOUGHT YOU LIKED [[Single Bed Motel Room]]!" Spamton teases, and Peppino just rolls his eyes and continues eating his burger. Watching them bicker was honestly kinda funny. You wished the first time didn't lead to you sobbing the first time.

You really need to buy Spamton a new pair of glasses.

...

... Everyone halts at the sound of clicking. You look in the direction of the noise, and realize that something was shifting around inside Moon's body, joints twitching slightly and sun rays slowly poking out of his head. Oh, it's brighter in here, they're switching.

Peppino does not get the memo, and immediately scrambles to grab the closest chair. Jesus fucking christ.

"Wait wait wait no don't!!" You yell, jutting up and getting between him and (presumably) Sun. "They're just shifting, it's fine! Put the chair down!"

Peppino looks at you, down at the slowly shifting Sun, back up to you, then slowly puts the chair back down.

You audibly sigh in relief.

Turning around, you look down and watch the rest of the transformation occur. It seems to be going slowly because of their currently unconscious state, but was slowly getting faster as time went on. It was honestly very interesting to watch, hearing their joints click into place, seeing the rays pop out and the hat magically disappear, their clothes and body changing color like one of those cold to hot mugs. When it was done, Sun laid there for a few more moments. Still.

Then, his fingers twitched, then his entire hand, and his voice box crackled to life with a groan as he pushed himself up. He rubs the back of his head with a hand, "Guh.. Golly, my head hurts... wait-"

He looks around.

".. This isn't the daycare!"

"NOPE! NO [[Kiddie Pools]] HERE! JUST GOOD OL' CAPITALISM!"

Sun turns just his head to look at Spamton, "Huh? Oh, hello!" Then he notices you, and he jumps up right to his feet with a gasp. "HEELLOOooo frIEnd!!"

You were not expecting to be picked up and squeezed, but honestly, you didn't complain. You could see Peppino tensing up though. It's kinda funny, he seems a little protective of you in a fatherly way. Makes your hots for him kinda awkward.

"OH!" Sun puts you down to greet Peppino, "Helloo! A new friend I see! And what might yOUr name be?" Sun turns his torso to face Spamton, "And that goes out to you too, other new friend! Don't think I forgot about you!"

Before either people could respond, you decide to speak up for them, "Uh, this is Peppino, and that's Spamton. They're both my roommates for the time being."

"Ooohhh, rOOMies?? I lovelovelOVE roomies!! I got one up here," Sun taps his head, "But I think you already knew that one! Hehehe!"

God, his energy was so much, but it was already ebbing back off of you. No wonder he's your comfort character.

Sun turns back to Peppino, "Well well well! Nice to meet you, Peppino! Name's Sun! Or Sunny, Sundrop, Sunrise, Whatever is fine with me really!!"

Sun holds his hand out enthusiastically for Peppino to shake, and he hesitates in doing so. Unlike you, who was already used to how Sun could be, Peppino was clearly having a hard time adjusting to yet another loud person, with so much energy too. He slowly takes his hand, and Sun quickly starts shaking it a little too hard. Peppino kinda jerks his hand away the moment Sun's grip loosened.

Spamton's turn now! Sun skips over to him- which took two skips over, mind you, guys got long ass legs- and leans over to also hold his hand out to him, "Nice to meet you too, Spamton! Golly, I really like your glasses, sososO pretty!!"

Spamton thankfully meets Sun's energy much easier, taking his hand and shaking it with just as much enthusiasm, "WHY THANK YOU! YOU'VE GOT SOME [[What's Cookin, Good Lookin]] YOURSELF!"

Sun pulls away with a shy giggle, bouncing in place and giving him a limp wrist, "Oh you!"

 

Okay. You did not expect them to immediately get along THAT well.

Both you and Peppino were staring. What the fuck is happening?

Sun looks over to you, "OH! Sayy, friend, could you maybejustmaybe tell me where we are? My internal map is all bugged out, and I think it's because we're so far away from the Pizzaplex! I don't think we're really meant to be outside...!!" Sun sounds like he's gritting his teeth by the end of that sentence.

"Uh. This is my apartment. I uh, I don't know where the Pizzaplex is from here, I...." lie, ".. I moved a while ago, so."

"... Oh..!! Is that why we didn't see you much for a while-?"

The way Sun said that made you feel bad, he sounded genuinely hurt, but what were you supposed to do about it? He wasn't real until just now, so of course you wouldn't be able to visit the Pizzaplex and see him, it was impossible to do so. Even still, you felt guilty. "... Sorry.. I uh, I guess I should've said something.."

".... Oh well, that doesn't matter now..! All that matters is you're here nOw and I get to hug you ALLLLL I want again!! Speaking of-"

Oop, yet another hug. You feel like making an audible squeaky toy noise.

Sun puts you down soon after, "Well, even if the Pizzaplex is far away, it shouldn't be TOO hard getting back! Right?? You can just help us along! It'll be like an eNTIRE ADVENTURE !! YIPPEe!"

"... Well.. Uh, actually-"

"Hold on," Peppino cuts you off, "You can't seriously be about to invite yet another person to live here, right?? This place is barely big enough for just the three of us! Let alone four people..."

"B-but- I- I don't think I could even bring them back to the Pizzaplex. I think they need to stay here-"

Sun shrinks and his rays retract, "Wh.. what..?? You can't?? Why not?! Y-you have a way to find its location, right?? You can just use that! And- And then we can be on our way! Right? Right?? Pleasetellmeyoucan- I don't- I don't likeitouthere..." Sun curls up into a ball, and that pit of guilt in your gut starts growing again. Seeing him so distressed makes you severely distressed too. You can't just leave him like this...

You hesitantly kneel down next to him, and lean in as you wrap an arm around his shoulder. He leans his head against you, and you can feel your throat start to close. Fuck, not right now... you need to make yourself say something.

"... H.. H-hey, it's- it's okay.. uhm, it's not- it's not that bad out here- You can stay here for a little bit, right...? Surely Fazco or whatever will uh.. will try finding you, right?"

 

"... Yeah.. Yeah..! Y-you're right-!" Sun sits up, "Fazco takes their property vERy seriously! And if they see one of their animatronics is missing, they'd surely go on a hunt for them! Yeah, yeah! Okay, we'll just wait then!" Sun stands back up, helping you up as well, "Let's just hope they don't take too long..! I don't want to even THINK about those poor kids, worried over where their favorite caretaker went..."

Sun's sudden dismissal of Moon's existence did not fly over your head.

"... Yeah.. okay, anyways, Belle- where do you expect this guy to sleep??" Peppino chimes in again.

"... Uh-"

"OH! No need to think about thAt! Just give me a pillow and a blankie, and I'll plop my little bottom down anywhere with an outlet!"

"... I'm not letting you sleep on the floor. You're better than that."

"Tch, yeah, Spamton deserves that more than this guy does."

"HEY! LEAVE ME OUTTA THIS, ITALIANO! I WAS HERE FIRST, I'M [[King Of The Hill]]!"

Peppino rolls his eyes, "Yeah, right. You only get the couch because Belle says so! If it were up to me, you'd be sleeping on the floor like a dog.."

"YOU THINK I'M THE DOG HERE?! GO [[Bark!]] UP SOMEONE ELSE'S TREE, [[Air Bud]]!"

Sun looks between the both of them awkwardly, "... Wwow! I do not like this energy! Here, why don't the two of you try being nicer to eachother? You know what they say, treat others how you'd like to be treated!"

"Like hell I'm going to-"

"LANGUAGE!" Sun shouts, completely cutting off Peppino and making all three of you jump.

"... ANYWAYSs, the least you can do is try. This goes for the both of you! The nicer you are to eachother, the better the world will be! So! Let's start with apologies!"

Sun moves behind Peppino, "Peppino, apologize to Spamton for saying he deserves to sleep on the floor."

"Wh- quit treating me like I'm five!" Peppino sputters, sounding offended, "I'm fifty seven! I don't need to do this kind of thing!"

Sun leans over, "Just because you're fifty seven doesn't mean its too late to learn these kinds of lessons!"

You gape at that one. Oh my fucking god.

"And if you don't want to even try to apologize, then I'll move on to Spamton instead!" Which Sun does, walking over and now standing next to Spamton, "Spamton, apologize to Peppino for calling him a dog."

"BUT HE CALLED ME A DOG FIRST!"

"Name calling is never okay, no matter the circumstances. Now, please apologize to him."

Spamton sputters, goes through the five stages of grief in five seconds, then lets out a heavy sigh. "... FINE. I'M [[Will You Accept My Apology?]]."

Watching this go down felt insane. You felt like eating popcorn to this.

Peppino gawks, ".. Are you seriously going to bend to him so quickly like that? I thought you were more stubborn than that..."

"WHAT CAN I SAY? I WANT TO [[Be The Bigger Man]]!"

"Exactly, Spamton! You see Peppino, the one who apologizes first is always the bigger person in any scenario! Now, are you going to apologize?"

"... No. You're not getting an apology out of me. I stand by what I said about him."

Sun huffs, "My my, you really are a stubborn one! Your parents really should've taught you better!"

You decide to finally chime in, "Sun, I think this is a lost cause, these two are always fighting and insulting eachother, I think that's just something you'll have to deal with.."

"REALLY?? Wow! I thought living together would make people closer! Is it really that bad??"

"Spamton kicked me so hard I woke up earlier."

"I WAS [[Snork Mimimi]]! YOU CAN'T PUT THAT AGAINST [[Lil Ol']] ME!"

"Oh, I totally can, cazzo! I"

"LANGUAGE!! Speaking another language isn't going to make me any less aware!"

"Dio mio, suck it up! We're all adults! It doesn't even matter! You're not helping anyone by being annoying!"

Both Sun and Spamton gasp, which made you snort, "How rude!! No wonder you're constantly fighting with him, friend!"

"SEE? YOU GET IT!"

"Okay, okay, enough of this," you step between everyone, "I don't want you guys fighting eachother everytime someone new comes here. Let's just get back to bed arrangements. Sun, you can sleep with me in my bed."

"GASP! R-really?? We're doing sharesies??? WOwie!!" Sun bounces and claps his hands, giggling in excitement.

Peppino stares at you, "... Really? You're letting him in your bed? You barely let us in your room at all..."

You grit your teeth, "Uh... don't uh, don't take this the wrong way, I just.. I kinda trust Sun and Moon a lot compared to you guys."

Peppino looked like he was about to argue with that, but decides not to, just sighing instead. ".. You know what...? That's fair.. I guess neither of us really.. know you that well."

"Yeah... I'm actually really good friends with Sun and Moon."

"YUP! Bestest buddies for ever !! Even if- even if you moved away- withouttellingus... it's okay!! We forgive you!!"

God. That made you cringe so badly.

"Yeah... sorry. Let's just. Let's get going to bed."

 

So, you go to bed that night with an extra person in your bed, heavy and making it creak a little, but not enough to worry. That was when you found out that Sun was a big cuddlebug when he's sleeping, and somehow, feeling his arms around you as he sleeps, heat radiating off his body, makes you cry genuine tears. This is the closest affection you've gotten in ages.

You fall asleep with wet eyes and a rapid heart beat. You can definitely get used to this.

Notes:

I feel like im going insane with each passing day /nsrs

Notes:

The other names i considered for this fic were "three wishes," "reverse isekai," and "alexa, how do i stop someone from finding out theyre not real?"