Work Text:
On Monday morning, the first thing Dina does when she wakes up is check her phone.
There are two long texts from Jesse’s mom from last night, giving her review of the book she’d gifted her for her last birthday; one from Jesse from an hour ago, asking about her hours on Thursday; a missed call from Mel at some ungodly hour, probably to drunkenly gab about her deadbeat boyfriend; but still nothing from any unknown number.
Nothing from Ellie.
It’s far too soon to let herself be disappointed, so she doesn’t. They’re a busy person. They must have their hands full at the ranch and it might just have slipped their mind. She’d touched on the intensity of the labor she has to endure before, and Dina is more than familiar with the schedule ranch hands have to be on to get through all of the day’s tasks.
So she lets it be. After their heartfelt conversation on Saturday, she’s sure Ellie will contact her soon once they get the chance.
Dina’s heart flutters at the sudden thought of Ellie’s sweet smile which she held for pretty much the entirety of that Saturday morning that they spent together. The feeling of her broad, work-rough hands holding hers, caressing her face, cupping her waist. A shiver comes over her.
She hasn’t felt this affected by someone since she first fell for Jesse. Of course, back then, she had only been seventeen, under the thumb of her parents, very, very religious, and even more sexually repressed. Her parents had forbade dating and contact with boys in any way, shape, or form till her studies were over and done with. They’d insisted it was for her own good, and meant to keep her eyes where it mattered; and she’d obeyed…until Jesse came along. Jesse – sweet, tall, goofy Jesse – talked to her all nice, brought her flowers, confessed in the most awkward and respectful way possible and frankly, she didn’t stand a chance.
It was around the time of their break-up three years later that Dina discovered her bisexuality, but there had been very little chance to explore that part of herself, because it wasn’t very long after that that she found out she was pregnant. After that, any and all attempts to get back out there and find love again have been troublesome, containing nothing but decent sex and nice-enough dates, but no follow-through whatsoever. Her son being in the picture had always, always soured the deal, and all encounters have eventually led to disappointing rejections and even more disappointing ghostings.
Well, most of them have anyway.
Ellie has made her feel whole. It’s not something she would say out loud, not yet, because she feels like a crazy person, thinking these things about someone she’d only met just days ago in a bar and gone home with – but it’s true. They’re different. Beautiful and warm and caring. When Dina thinks of them, butterflies erupt in her stomach and she can’t help the smile that blooms on her face when their face pops into her head.
And oh, the night they’d had.
She can still feel the impression of their grip on her thighs, their tongue between her legs, their hips crashing into hers. She remembers her smell, that fine, dusky cologne dotted against the side of her neck, the hint of lavender wafting from their hair, cut by the heavy scent of sweat from their lovemaking. She remembers the sight of her fierce look as she fucked her good and well with her strap-on, the wrinkle in her nose as she growled, the sounds of her grunts as she called her “darlin’,” one of the sweetest names she’s ever been called while being fucked so deliciously rough.
Dina rubs her thighs together and glances at her phone.
It’s only 6 right now. In an hour, she’ll have to get JJ up for school.
She’s got plenty of time.
Slowly, Dina draws her hands up her body, from her thighs to her stomach to her chest, groping herself. She lets her eyes fall shut and imagines her hands are Ellie’s. She pinches at her nipples and hums. This and the image of her… companion from Friday night are enough to rile her, and soon she’s squirming and peeling her shorts and underwear off.
Kicking the covers down the bed, Dina spreads her legs to the open air and grows wetter beneath her fingers as she sees Ellie between them, crouched like a predator, their eyes dark and hungry. The feeling of their breath between her sweaty thighs is still a sharp memory, and she moans with a jolt of pleasure, as the Ellie in her mind licks their teeth and descends upon her at last.
Spontaneously, she revisits the heated words Ellie had muttered upon her request and feels the pleasure spike in her cunt, groaning softly.
New images form, her mind eager for more and more, of a tense first date, Ellie’s pupils blown wide with want just a table away from her for the duration of the meal, and sweeping her into the night, food forgotten, whispering hot things into her ear; Dina leading her into her apartment with her hands, dragging her into this very bed; the breadth of Ellie’s shoulders beneath Dina’s grasping hands and they rock her into the mattress, gentle and rough at the same time; the soft cut of their hair as she grips what she can and kisses them; the gentle timbre in the whine Ellie gives as she comes, inches deep within Dina: God, baby, you’re so good –
Dina comes with a choked cry, arching hard against the bed, mind racing with the soft image. Her thighs clamp around her hand as she works herself in tight circles and rides it out, until she can’t take anymore and falls limp to catch her breath.
This is the third time she’s touched herself to the thoughts of Friday’s events, or some projection based on them. Since the first time, she’s come to realize it’s not as satisfying by the end as it once was. All she can think of lately are the bursts of pleasure Ellie had given her and the butterflies in her stomach as Ellie tended to her with care, cuddled up with her in a sweaty heap of limbs.
That had been the first time in ages where she’d fallen asleep in someone’s arms. She and Jesse haven’t slept in the same bed since before JJ was born, and most of her flings had ended with her alone in bed, or her absconding before she could feel their rejection.
But Ellie had clung. They’d wanted more of her, insatiably and needily. They’d held her so securely in their work-worn arms, peppered her face with kisses, and slept with her in their own bed.
Dina is sure of it. She’s sure Ellie will text soon. But that doesn’t stop her from internally whining at having to wait.
She decides to shake all thoughts of Ellie from her head. She pulls herself out of bed, body heavy. The fantasy had made her come so quickly. She can use the extra time to make herself some tea and get started on breakfast before going to wake JJ up for preschool.
–
On Tuesday, there’s still no text.
Business at the diner is slow after the lunch rush dies down, and as Dina wipes the counter, she watches her phone, anxiety tinging the edges of her fantasies.
She was sure that – Ellie seemed so sincere and –
She has to tell herself to calm down. Again, Ellie is a busy person. Maybe in the rush of things, she forgot to text. She’d only ever known the Ellie who’s been freed from work on Fridays; maybe by the end of the work day, they’re so tired they just don’t have the energy for a conversation.
Yeah…Yeah, that’s it.
The rationalizing puts her more at ease but still, she has to fight the urge to bite her nails.
As the hours pass, she watches the customers, filing through them and telling herself she’s not looking for those broad, flannel-clad shoulders, a buzzcut, and pretty green eyes. The very flannel they’d left her with sits tied round her waist, the slightest break in uniform – it’s not weird, it’s not weird – but no one but her seems to care all that much about it. She loses herself in daydreams, thinking of hands on her thighs and the force of them being pulled apart, and a tongue slithering into her depths; the swaying motion of a cheap twin-sized bed, rocking the screws loose; the breath against her face, the suckling kisses upon her breasts, the hot slick mass impaling her.
Mel comes in for her shift at 3 to relieve her, and Dina makes a bee-line for the single-stall restroom.
These tacky, stereotypical waitress dresses that Seth makes them wear are finally good for something. She bends herself over the sink, breathing coarsely, rucks her skirt up and dips her hand into her soaked panties.
Dina whines, a pathetic sound to her own ears, and circles her slick clit quickly, rocking her hips. She tries – fuck, she tries so hard – not to further delude herself by thinking of Ellie being here with her again, but the fantasy comes anyway. A vision of Ellie is knelt between her legs, in worship, gripping her hips and eating her from below, working her tongue over her clit like it’s her job.
Biting her lip, Dina grips her own breast through her dress, sinking two fingers into her cunt. Her legs shake tremendously as she fucks herself, yanking the flannel loose from her waist and inhaling the earthen, cologne-hinted smell left on it. The Ellie in her mind takes great pleasure in this, in her bent-over position and her desperate need, and pistons into her like a maniac, huffing and growling.
That’s it, baby, she says between grunts, You look so fucking good like this.
Dina grits her teeth to keep from whimpering. She imagines a harsh slap against her ass but the sweet pain of it never comes.
She tightens nevertheless.
Mm, fuck. There we go, good girl, Ellie chuckles and Dina bites back a cry. Come for me.
Dina nearly collapses to the floor as she hits her peak, legs buckling almost violently, but she leans hard against the sink to keep herself up. She takes in huge gulps of air, the orgasm having hit her like a train.
Mind-Ellie is gone now, dissipated once she came. No soft caresses, no comfort afterward, no asking for seconds.
Dina sighs and fixes herself up in the mirror.
Mel only spares a passing glance as she comes out, and waves her goodbye as she leaves to pick up her kid.
By the end of the day, with still nothing in her inbox except for Jesse complaining about his Game of Thrones rewatch for the fifteenth time since he started the next season, Dina laments giving her number rather than asking Ellie for theirs. Even if Ellie had lost interest in her – which, God, she still hopes isn’t true – at least she’d be able to ask if that’s the case.
–
On Wednesday, Dina finds she can’t afford to think of Ellie every waking hour.
JJ’s class has a little recital around lunchtime, and thankfully Seth had given Dina a pass to leave work to catch it when she’d asked for it last week. It’s nothing all that big, since he’s still too young to hone a skill, but the teacher had taught them all a few state anthems and told the children to inform their parents to dress them in white shirts and red bandanas for the occasion. JJ looked so adorable when she dressed him that morning, she laments the storage she’d picked on her phone plan because the amount of photos she takes is almost embarrassing.
She meets Jesse at the school, both still in their work clothes, and are beside themselves as they watch their kid perform, snapping even more pictures to send to Jesse’s parents.
Afterwards, the parents have a special lunch with the kids and JJ gabs about the recital, the songs and the practices, and how nice his teacher is, as if he hadn’t told them at least 3 times each before. They listen, rapt, until a few other sets of parents and kids join them.
Socializing with the other parents has always been a touch difficult for Dina. She feels out of place a lot of the time. A good number of them are older than her by at least ten years, and as nice as some of them may be, a part of her can’t help but feel their judgment for being a mom so young. JJ is five now, and time after time where her own age has been asked of her, their eyes narrow without fail as they do the math. They’re polite, sure, but the looks are something she’s had to deal with since JJ had been enrolled.
What’s worse is when the other parents see Jesse and Dina show up together for JJ’s events and assume they’re married – and infinitely worse, in love. Jesse is more often than not referred to as her husband even in passing conversation and Dina has to clamp her mouth shut to keep from correcting them. Because what judgment is she gonna face next if she tells them that not only are they not married, but they were never married and JJ was born out of wedlock between two idiot teenagers because the fucking condom couldn’t do what it was supposed to?
Jesse – gargantuan Jesse who looks older than he actually is – takes it all in stride, because of course he does, and chats with the other dads about his job without a single care in the world. He knows the deal, knows her discomfort, and he merely glosses over the ‘wife’ comments with an awkward look towards Dina and changes the subject. Dina tunes them out, not exactly eager to hear what they’re elbow-jabbing each other slyly over, and lets herself be dragged into a conversation by the mom of one of JJ’s friends.
At the end of the school day, they all walk over to Dina’s apartment, JJ atop Jesse’s shoulders, the picture of a perfect little family, to grab JJ’s duffel bag of clothes and toys. Dina hugs her little man tight, smushes a million kisses on his face, and tells her she’s proud of him for his performance, to which he squeals and laughs, trying to push her away playfully.
“Have fun at your dad’s, baby,” Dina says, pressing a final kiss into his curly hair – one of her many gifts to him. “Give him hell!”
“Hey!” Jesse complains goodnaturedly, and JJ bursts into giggles.
They exchange ‘I love you’s’, and Dina gives Jesse a quick hug before sending them on their way.
Jesse gets JJ from Wednesdays to Friday. They try to spend Saturdays together to at least give him the sense that the two of them can live harmoniously – and they can – and Dina takes Sunday through Tuesday, even-Steven. Often, their shifts get thrown around by their bosses and JJ gets juggled a bit, but they try to make it work, and Jesse’s parents are always on standby to take him if neither can be home.
It’s only when she’s lying in bed that Ellie returns to her thoughts, this time unbidden.
Where would they fit in all of this? Would they poke harmless fun at her being a PTA mom? Would she admire it? They’re a hard-working person. Dina can imagine those bright eyes fixed upon her adoringly for treading that minefield.
What would the other parents think if Ellie ever showed up for a meeting or event? Her heart flutters at that but she attempts to stifle any flowery thoughts before they can come. There’s hardly any point in wondering about Ellie’s commitment to her family before they’ve even gone on a proper date. God, if anyone knew her thoughts, they’d think she was all too desperate to snatch someone up to settle down.
And yet still, she can’t help but want to pursue the thought. How kindly would Ellie take to being a part of their family? Would they ever reach a point where she can be in JJ’s life? At their age, Dina’s sure the idea of having a kid hasn’t even crossed her mind yet, let alone being in someone else’s kid’s life. JJ’s a lovely kid, and Ellie’s a lovely person; she’d like to think that they’d take to one another.
Dina’s mind comes back to the conversation they’d had Saturday morning. Her own confession about JJ and her worry about losing Ellie. Ellie’s reassurance as she cradled her.
Don’t worry about the hard stuff right now, okay? If you want to, maybe, I dunno, see each other more consistently, let’s take it slow. Does that sound good?
Did Ellie have second thoughts about this whole thing?
Dina squeezes her eyes shut and tries not to think of the red flannel she’d shoved deep into the closet – a futile attempt to distance herself from it all – and especially tries not to think of her phone charging at her bedside table.
It hasn’t buzzed once all day.
–
On Thursday, Dina promises herself that if Ellie hasn’t gotten in touch by the end of the day, she’s got to give up.
All week, she’s been driving herself crazy over this one person that she met in a bar, and it has got to stop somewhere.
On Thursdays, she gets the day to herself and works evening to closing at midnight, so with JJ away with Jesse, Dina tries to enjoy her time alone in the empty apartment before her shift, but she spends most of it trying to keep herself from falling to pieces over the sting of rejection.
She does her best to distract herself. She tries to read, tries to write, tries researching, tries movies, but it all comes back to Ellie in one way or another. To their smile, to their hands, to their arms, to their smell.
The clock ticks on and on, and eventually, Dina is at her wit’s end. Emotions war within her. Anger at Ellie’s deception, forlorn at the lost connection, regret at becoming so attached so easily, and most damningly, the arousal brewing amidst the desperation. She feels pathetic, yearning for them like a bitch in heat, writhing in her sheets, humping her mattress, whining.
It’s pitiful, sure. But today, unlike the other days, she can feel they’re not going to text. She can feel she’s on the precipice of another plunge into disappointment, so she’s made up her mind. She’s going to wash her hands of this and move on – but on her own terms.
Dina tears her clothes off and spreads her legs, hot and slick between them – and imagines them one last time. One last fantasy.
And there they are again, leaned up against the sill of the open doorway with a sheepish smile, dreamy and beautiful as they were a week ago, a bouquet hanging in their loose grip. A devastatingly romantic and apologetic gesture. Forgive me? they ask, eyes sweet yet ravenous as they trace over her naked form.
You’re gonna have to make it up to me, she barks heatedly.
Ellie quickly tosses the flowers away, drops her knees, and blankets her clit with their tongue. Dina arches, twitching hard against the wet muscle. Ellie is hungry for her, missing her just as much as Dina has, wrapping her lips around her pulsing bud and suckling in worship.
Dina’s thighs tighten around her hand, growling that it’s not Ellie’s head she’s squeezing.
I want your cock, Dina thinks, now, and Ellie groans weakly, thoroughly at her service, rushing to get her pants down.
Reaching into her drawer for lube and her dildo, Dina tries to imagine Ellie leering, horny, stroking her silicone dick. Gotta prep you, Ellie breathes, like she’s an animal forced to contain herself.
Fingers plunge into her hole, wet with lube, the image of Ellie attempting to tame herself at the sight of Dina spread open, almost violent desire coming off of her in waves, egging her on as she fingers herself roughly. “ Ugh – unh – mmgh –” she grunts aloud, shallow breaths huffing out of her, “Ellie – Ellie –”
Fuck, fuck, baby, you feel amazing around me, Ellie sighs, sending a jolt through Dina. Please, please, let me fuck you now –
Dina positions her hips at the very edge of the bed, legs up the air, cunt stretched and ready. Slowly, she sinks the lubed cock into her cunt, hissing. Ellie coos, intangibly brushes the hair from Dina’s forehead, and fucks her rough like she had last week, her thrusts erratic and wild.
“Ellie – Ellie –” Dina cries, legs shaking as she’s impaled over and over, Ellie grunting animalistically above her.
That’s it – oh, that’s it, baby girl – God, I missed you –
“Ellie!” Dina weeps, eyes wet.
Fuck, fuck, I’m almost there, baby – Come with me –
“Oh! Ohhh!”
Dina, Ellie moans, eyes wet as well, Dina, oh God, I’m coming, I’m coming, I love y –
Dina comes violently around the cock, holding it so deep within her, legs clamped, that the head is pressed right against her sweet spot. She can barely keep the fantasy of Ellie in her mind as she rides out her orgasm, the pleasure so great that everything goes thankfully blank.
It’s almost painful, when it all subsides. The empty stretch as she pulls the dildo out of herself, the empty room when the remnants of the fantasy clears, the emptiness itself.
Dina lets herself lie nude on her bed till it’s time to get ready for her evening shift.
–
Despite wanting her needy thoughts to go out with a bang, some part of her, the thinnest thread of her hopes, hangs on as she works her shift.
Like in the days before, the hours tick on. Customers come and go, calling her over, snapping their fingers at her, demanding their order be taken back and redone, and she feels herself being stretched thinner and thinner.
When the clock nears midnight, Dina sits in the diner alone, wiping the counters, the closed sign flipped and the line cook having already left for the night.
So. That’s that, then.
She feels like a robot going about her tasks, cold and numb, but as she cleans, she starts to feel herself burning inside.
She’s hurt. Beyond hurt.
For Ellie to fret that much over them having a connection and not wanting the night to end, only for them to stand her up like this is just cruel. Were all those sweet words just a con to get to fuck her a second time? Were the caresses just to sweeten the pot, get her hopes up? Was it all just some sick fucking game?
Is Dina just meant to be alone?
Spend her nights with no one in her bed?
The door bangs open, and expecting it to be a group of teenagers intent on making her night even more miserable, Dina whips around to bark that the diner’s closed when the sight before her stops her in her tracks.
Ellie, real Ellie, in their stupid flannel and their stupid jeans and their stupid handsome face, stands there in the doorway, breathing hard, bright against the night outside. Their eyes are focused intently on her, as if astonished to see her as well.
Dina is frozen.
Ellie speaks first.
“Dina,” she says and comes forward, face flushing red in the excitement, “God, I’m so sorry I didn’t text. I-I lost the scrap of paper you gave me Saturday – I think my dad threw it away by accident – and I tried looking for it but it was just gone, and I-I-I didn’t know what to do –” They’re talking a mile a minute and coming closer and closer and it’s difficult to comprehend anything, so Dina can only stare.
“-- tried coming to see you here but I could only get out of work in the evening, and – and you were never here, just some other girl and an old guy, and –” Hips pressed flush to the counter across from Dina, Ellie grips their own hair, though it’s far too short to grip; absently, Dina lingers on that familiarity. “Jesus, I’m so, so sorry. I’ve been coming here, like, every night this week to see if you’re here but –”
Dina grabs the collar of their stupid flannel and yanks them in for a hard kiss. Their teeth clack together and Ellie yelps into the kiss, but they give in easily, so easily. Dina presses her tongue in and Ellie eagerly welcomes her, reciprocating the aggressive kiss with a hot puff of steam through her nose. Dina bites hard at her lip; Ellie groans sharply, hands fumbling atop the counter, inching greedily across toward her waist.
With a shove, Dina breaks the kiss but keeps the shirt balled in her fist. Ellie’s pupils are blown wide, their face redder than before, looking delectable with her lip bruised and her mouth open and panting.
“You drove here?”
“Y-Y-Yes.”
“You’re gonna fucking make it up to me,” is all Dina says before she’s smashing a kiss to their lips again and departing.
In a whirlwind, Dina closes up the diner and all but pulls Ellie out the front, locking the door quickly behind them. Ellie’s truck is the only car in the parking lot, and soon enough, they’re both corralled into the wide front seat, Dina crawling into Ellie’s lap.
Dina wrangles her into another kiss and Ellie takes whatever she gives, takes the hard, bruising grip on her shoulders, the gnashing teeth against her tongue, her teeth, her jawline, takes the rough dry rutting against her jean-clad crotch.
“Fuck,” Ellie whimpers amidst the whirlwind of arousal, “Fuck, Dina – I missed –”
“Shut up.” Dina covers Ellie’s mouth and bites the column at her throat. Ellie arches and moans into her hand. Ellie’s grip on her hips tightens exponentially and she ruts back.
Dina shudders and gropes at Ellie’s chest with both hands in retaliation. She shoves their shirt up over their tits and squeezes, pinches, fondles, and Ellie keeps grinding.
Dina laps into their mouth again and mutters, “Wanna ride your fucking fingers.”
She doesn’t let Ellie gawk at that, merely grabs their wrist and rucks her skirt up to get it beneath her panties. Their knuckles press against her undercarriage, cool and bony. Ellie growls; she must feel that she’s wetter than sin.
“Tear them off,” Dine bites.
“Wh-What?” Ellie blinks up at her.
“Tear off the fucking panties, Ellie.”
They swiftly obey. They press their thumbs into the seam and puncture the fabric with a satisfying ripping sound, tearing the accursed article like it’s nothing. The remnants hang like a loincloth between her legs which have begun to quiver immensely at the display.
Dina offers no praise, but Ellie doesn’t expect it, despite deserving it so much for that alone. Instead, they shock Dina by forgoing any of the softness she had leant to in her memories and pressing into her with one cool finger.
Dina moans. Fuck, the rough finger alone is enough to make her quiver and clench, but she needs more; groans it to the ceiling.
“Okay,” Ellie says, pressing a second in, earning a loud moan as the digits stretch her.
“More,” Dina bites out and snarls when Ellie immediately obeys, a third wedging its way into her pussy.
“You feel so fucking good around me – Christ, Dina,” Ellie babbles, and this time Dina welcomes the comment. She slides her tongue into their mouth and relishes in their pleasured, guttural moan. She can feel herself softening for this stupid, gorgeous oaf, and opts to keep her mouth busy before she says something stupid and rewards them more than she already is.
Dina forces herself to take the time to get used to it, though the dull discomfort and pain from the amount of fingers in her is deliciously sweet. She pants and averts her eyes from Ellie’s, but she can feel theirs fixated on her.
Ellie kisses her cheek and her nose; anger roils within Dina. She wants to snap that they can’t do it, they don’t get to do that when all she wants is to come quick right now, but she can’t fight the way she melts.
Still, she grips the back of her neck and sucks their bruised lip into her mouth.
“Look at me,” she says, finally staring into Ellie’s hazy eyes, “I need you to not right now, okay? I don’t want gentle. If you missed me, fucking show me.”
And with that, she starts to ride, slamming her hips down onto their fingers with rhythmic grunts.
“Fuck – goddamn –” Ellie curses in awe as Dina bounces aggressively. With their free hand, Ellie yanks Dina’s shirt open, sending multiple buttons flying. Dina gasps, shuddering violently as Ellie shoves her hand into one of the cups of her bra and digs a tit out to suck its nipple strongly.
Ellie growls, nicking her with her teeth and driving their hips upward to meet Dina’s rabid pace, and soon Dina loses control of her volume, moaning toward the ceiling.
“Spank me,” Dina begs, “Please!”
It’s immediate; the swift smack of their hand against her ass makes her shriek.
“Yeah, that’s it –” Ellie grunts, spanking her again, harder, jerking their hips into her.
Arms like a vice grip around Ellie’s neck, Dina presses her now-naked front to theirs, riding desperately, moans bleeding into long, pleasured sobs. “Oh, my god, oh fuck – fuck, ooohh!! Elliiiieee – ” They wrap an arm around her waist, lapping and sucking at the column of her throat. Their cologne, same as before, fills her nose, and with every hard rock, she starts to twitch, leaning hard against their solid build, tightening up around the calloused digits. “I’m – I’m –” she chokes, overcome by all of Ellie.
Teeth sink into her shoulder and the fingers drive in deep against her sweet spot – and Dina breaks. Her body moves entirely on its own, hips jutting, limbs curling, her entire being shaking turbulently, the teeth in her shoulder red hot. She’s spilling vigorously into Ellie’s lap, liquid spraying, dripping down her naked thighs, and crying loudly until it all wavers, nerves sputtering out.
She collapses against Ellie, breathing hard and trembling. Their chest is warm, heart banging in its cage, and their free hand starts to rub her back slowly, tentatively.
She’s here. She’s here.
Ellie is real and human and here, holding her in the aftermath, soothing her.
Their face presses to the side of Dina’s head, not a kiss, not quite, but it’s something that makes Dina’s stomach wriggle.
Everything from earlier in the week comes flooding back toward her, the turmoil, the desperation, the grieving of something that hadn’t yet been. The loneliness. The empty apartment.
Unwelcome tears fill her eyes, and suddenly overwrought with emotion, she presses closer into Ellie’s chest to stifle a sob.
Wordlessly, Ellie holds her tighter.
–
The drive to Dina’s apartment is almost suffocatingly quiet. The only words spoken the whole ride was Ellie asking if she’d like to be dropped off, to which Dina had only nodded.
Ellie is palpably nervous, tapping her thumbs against the wheel and chewing her lip, and Dina is still, observing through the corner of her eye the terribly unsubtle sidelong glances Ellie sends her every minute.
Dina wants nothing more than for her hand to be held right now, right over the console, like how Ellie had reached over that night, the tears on her face just barely dried and nose still stuffy, but she keeps her hands curled together in her lap.
When they pull up, Dina mumbles, “Find a spot,” before Ellie can cruise to a stop to simply drop her off.
Ellie drawing her lips in tells Dina she’s relieved.
“W-Wait,” Ellie says before Dina can slide off her seat once they’re parked, “Here.” And she hands Dina her flannel, looking bashfully at the cleavage spilling from her shirt, several buttons ripped from their places.
“What about – um –” Dina peers at Ellie’s wet crotch, thoroughly embarrassed.
Ellie shrugs, a reassuring half-smile disgracing her lips. “I’ll deal.”
It’s slightly sobering for the two of them to be straightening themselves up for the incredibly short walk of shame, Dina in Ellie’s flannel, Ellie in a sweaty tee and wet pants, through the street and the halls to get inside her apartment, but they make it up without crossing any passers-by.
Ellie immediately looks around the place, curious, as Dina shuts the door behind her.
“Shoes off.”
“Oh, r-right.”
As Ellie is toeing off her boots – her work boots presumably – Dina is already shoeless and hurrying towards the laundry room, face hot, to get out of their sight to take a minute because fuck fuck shit, Ellie is here in her fucking apartment. She rifles through the bin of extra clothes, mind racing.
She’d hoped this moment would be more romantic, more natural. Ellie kicking the door open with Dina in her arms and taking her right on the dining table or the living room couch, and then later laying her down on her bed and plowing her a second, third, fourth time, or maybe a date here with the lights turned low and music playing and ending much the same way. This is the farthest thing from any of those fantasies. Her clothes are all torn to shreds at her own stupid request and for fuck’s sake, she squirted in Ellie’s lap.
To their credit, Ellie hadn’t even acknowledged it until Dina’s question in the truck, moreso returning to her kicked puppy act once the post-orgasm haze had passed.
And Christ…Dina had been so mean to her anyway. Though her mind is still swimming from the rush of the past forty minutes, she’s fairly certain Ellie’s explanation means she wasn’t entirely to blame for not texting.
Dina finds an old pair of jeans that had never found its way back to Jesse after they’d broken up. It’s not ideal; in fact, it’s a little uncomfortable for Dina. But none of her jeans will fit Ellie, so these will have to do.
Ellie is still standing by her shoes at the door, hands fidgeting as she inspects JJ’s bin of animal figures, when Dina comes back to hand her the jeans.
“Here, you can change into these, and I’ll, um, wash your pants for you.” Dina averts her eyes. “Bathroom is down that hall, first left. Then, uh, we can…talk.”
“Okay,” Ellie says quietly, and does as she’s told.
Dina plops down on the sofa with a big sigh and tries to take another moment to compose herself. It’s a mess, it’s all a mess, and even now, she doesn’t know exactly what she’s feeling.
Ellie re-emerges from the bathroom, clad in Jesse’s jeans, though she’s rolled the legs up into cuffs at the ends, holding her own soiled pants.
“Bit long,” Ellie idly comments, when Dina rises to take the pants from her, “Your dad’s?”
“Er, no. My ex’s,” Dina mutters.
“Oh.”
Dina’s stomach roils as she dumps the jeans into the washer and gets it running, before returning to the living room where Ellie has sat down.
Ellie is patient when Dina remains silent, trying to pick out the right words.
“Okay,” Dina says, tired and throwing caution to the wind, “okay, okay, fuck. I’m just gonna be fucking honest with you: my week has been complete shit and it’s mostly because of this. I thought…fuck, I thought you weren’t interested in me anymore. And that’s fucking – fucking fine, but that talk that we had Sunday – it made me think that this was a real thing we could have. And then I end up thinking you ghosted me and it made me think that you were just some asshole who plays with people for kicks.”
Shame consumes Ellie’s expression. “Dina…”
“Now I’m just…in shock, because it was so much more likely for you to ghost than for you to have – lost the stupid piece of paper. I-I was so mad and hurt, but I shouldn’t have been so mean to you after you explained things, I – I’m sorry, I’m…”
“Hey, shh.” Ellie presses a hand to her shoulder and squeezes, as tears return to Dina’s eyes. “I kinda deserve it. I should’ve put the number in my phone as soon as possible. I’m sorry I put you through all that.”
“I thought…”
“I know, I know,” Ellie says, pulling her into a gentle embrace, letting her press her face into her shoulder. Despite her grounding touch, her voice shakes like a leaf. “I didn’t lose interest – c-could never – I think I’ve, um, showed that by now. I promise I tried my hardest to look for you. Christ, I was beside myself. I-I couldn’t stand thinking we might never see each other again.”
“I like you so much,” Dina croaks.
“I like you, ” Ellie whispers into her hair.
They spend a long, comfortable moment in their embrace, refamiliarizing themselves with the other’s smell.
“I hope your dad got an earful,” Dina whispers jokingly.
Ellie chuckles wetly. “I was so fuckin’ pissed at him. He’s sorry, to his credit.”
Dina herself giggles a bit and pulls back to look at Ellie, real Ellie. She cups their face and traces her thumb over their cheek. Ellie smiles, brilliant and beautiful, cheeks tinted red, and wipes the dampening tear tracks from her face.
She isn’t sure who leans in first but the press of their lips together is all that matters to her in the end. Ellie’s lips tremble. Dina smooths her thumbs into their hair and hums.
The kiss is chaste and Ellie pulls back to peck her face with feather-light kisses that make Dina’s stomach jump giddily.
“Thank fuck I get to kiss you again,” Ellie sighs.
“Tell me about it.” Dina laughs, pecking her lips. “Um, by the way, I’m sorry again that I was so pushy earlier. I was – irrational, I guess? And, y’know,” she gestures to Ellie’s lap, “for doing…that…in your lap. In hindsight, that must’ve been really weird for you.”
Ellie’s smile turns sheepish, entire face reddening. “Oh, yeah, well, um, d-don’t worry about it. I actually – sort of – liked it?”
Dina blinks. “The being pushy, or –”
“Both? Both were kinda hot.” Ellie draws her eyes over Dina’s form, her ripped open blouse, her shoulders drowning in the flannel, her flannel. A shiver passes through Dina, feeling the heat from those eyes. Ellie clears her throat and averts her eyes, as if she hadn’t intended to do any of that. “I, uh, I’m sorry for ripping your uniform. I’ll pay for it.”
It’s only now that Dina feels completely exposed, her front bare to Ellie, and it sends tingles through her. She smooths a strand a hair behind her hair nervously.
“That’s alright. I thought that was hot too.”
“Mm. That was the point.” Ellie’s voice is a fine rumble, a vibration in Dina’s ear.
“Uh-huh.” Dina leans in.
“You did say you wanted rough. I gave you rough.” Ellie brushes her lips to Dina’s.
“You did.” Relishing the feel of Ellie’s chin against hers, her presence solid, Dina’s breath falls shallow.
“Dina…” Ellie palms her waist, eyes seering. Dina feels molten hot, mere putty in Ellie’s hands.
“Yes?”
“I wanna do this right. I wanna take you out to dinner, and be good to you, and be with you. You deserve that and more. I want…”
“Me too.” Dina is urging forward, pressing her chest to Ellie’s, and wrapping her arms around her neck. “I want that so bad.”
“Then…” Ellie clears her throat, confidence waning, “w-we can’t – again – tonight, can we?” Ellie swallows, on the verge of retracting their hands to a respectful distance. “We shouldn’t.”
“No,” Dina agrees softly, willing the tension to loosen from her shoulders, “We shouldn’t.”
Ellie nuzzles her head with their cheek, before pressing her back.
“First things first,” they say as they fish their phone out of their pocket, “what’s your – no, wait, I have an idea, indulge me –” Ellie rises and goes to the door.
“Ellie, what are you –”
“Shh, shh, this’ll be good, I promise.”
They turn back around and strut over to Dina with a casual smile before slipping back into her seat on the couch.
“Hi,” they say, smoothing a hand over their hair enchantingly, “Saw you across the bar, and well, I just had to talk to you.”
Dina cracks up. “What are you doing? ”
“Just play along – Oh, just, y’know, admiring your beauty.” Ellie takes one of Dina’s hands gently.
“This is not how it – oh, fuck it – Aww, thank you,” Dina plays along, a flattered hand to her chest, laughter thrumming in her speech, “You should see yourself, handsome.”
“Beautiful and humble.” Ellie kisses the back of her hand. “I would love to take you out sometime. May I please, fair maiden, have your number?”
“You have never asked for someone's number in a bar, have you?” Dina asks, amused.
“Uh, I just did.”
Dina laughs, Ellie nearly breaking character to join her. “Alright, alright, yes, you can have my number! Just make it stop!”
“Yes!” Ellie fist pumps which only makes Dina laugh harder. “Aaaand, scene.”
“Just give me your fucking phone, you goof.”
Dina punches in her number while Ellie watches, entirely too pleased with herself. With the contact saved and Ellie’s phone back in hand, they grow bashful once more.
“Now that that’s out of the way, um…” they rub the back of their neck, as if they hadn’t just put on a spectacle just to elaborately ask for her number, “Are you free next Friday?”
“Next Friday? Why not tomorrow?”
“It’s like I said, babe,” they kiss the back of her hand again, “I want to do this right. It’s not something I wanna rush, and truth be told, I need time between tonight and our date. I think we both do.”
Dina bites her lip. As much as she wants the date to happen now, processing everything that’s happened tonight would be good for the both of them. She wants nothing more than to cling to Ellie, lay herself bare for them, give herself wholly and truly to them, but for having just met and for wanting this to go farther than sex, it just wouldn’t be healthy. If the past week has taught her anything, it’s that her life – her family, her responsibilities – and her feelings for Ellie need balancing with one another.
And that’s going to take time. More than a day, most definitely.
“Okay,” she says finally, “Okay. Let’s do this right, then.”
Ellie grins, and they seal it with a long kiss.
–
With Ellie back in their own pants and their own flannel, they depart, kissing Dina one last time, knuckles grazing her chin.
“I’ll see you next week?” they ask, soft against her lips.
“You most certainly will.” Dina presses her thumbs into Ellie’s shoulders and pushes them away. “Now go, before you make me drag you back inside, goofball.”
Ellie chuckles and stumbles away.
Dina watches her as she heads down the hall, admiring their figure for just a second before her phone chimes.
Unknown number (1:35am) hey <3
Ellie smiles when she looks back, phone in hand, before hopping down the stairs and out of sight.
Dina goes to bed happier than she’d been all week, phone clutched to her chest, unable to wipe the smile from her face.