Chapter Text
“I thought your personality was the shittiest part of you! But apparently it’s your coffee taste!”
“You’ve broken my heart Chuuya-kun! How could you say that to your loving, doting, caring husband!” Atsushi sighed in resignation as he glanced at Kyouka and Akutagawa. The three of them sat on the barstools at the counter of the cafe they now apparently worked at, with Chuuya and Dazai being the ever bickering married couple who owned it. How did they end up in probably an alternate universe (that had heroes and Abilities that were actually called Quirks) owning a café and being sorta a legal family? Dazai. Obviously.
Just a day ago (though it felt like it had been an eternity) Dazai had decided to drag him and Kyouka out on an impromptu shopping trip. Something that had been suspicious the moment Dazai had even spouted the words. But, with no choice but to oblige the man’s eccentrics, they resigned themselves to their fate and allowed him to drag them out into the city.
At the very least, the weather was nice, with clear blue skies and humidity levels that were within the acceptable range. The salty breeze from the sea was blowing inland, helping cool the air that had been sweltering a week or so ago. That meant that the walking traffic had increased, but it wasn’t too crowded for the three of them to become uncomfortable. It was… nice, surprisingly, to get out and walk around after being stuck constantly catching up with the stream of paperwork that just kept piling up and up. (It didn’t help that part of the problem stemmed from Dazai refusing to touch any of his own work and shoving it off to the closest unfortunate soul, who tended to be Atsushi.)
Well, it was nice, until Dazai suddenly paused in his steps. “Chibi!” He exclaimed, causing Atsushi and Kyouka to look ahead of him and see the infamous Chuuya and… Akutagawa? The two of them were walking down the street. This did not feel like a coincidental meeting in the slightest. Especially not with how Dazai was grinning as if he had finally caught the last fly in his honey trap. But, unfortunately they couldn’t stop the next few series of events as Dazai gripped both of their wrists tightly and dragged them to go and speak with the two Port Mafia members.
“Shit,” Chuuya cursed upon seeing their trio approaching. Atsushi could understand. From his vague knowledge of Chuuya’s and Dazai’s relationship, he was pretty sure there was no other way to react to Dazai grinning upon running into the ginger.
“Oh this is perfect! Such a coincidence!” No one was buying that. “Come, come!” Somehow Dazai managed to shuffle the entire group into the definitely-not-suspicious alley right next to them.
Atsushi blinked as he took in the glowing portal just floating right in the middle of the alley, looking as if the entire space around them was ripped to reveal the foundations beneath the flooring placed in a house.
“What. The. Fuck. What is this?” Chuuya asked, peering at the strange object that clearly Dazai had wanted all of them to come across. “Was this your doing?”
“I’m flattered you think so highly of me Chibi!” Atsushi made eye contact with Kyouka and Akutagawa. The three of them had a silent agreement. This would not be ending well. “But no, this wasn’t me.”
“Why did you bring us here then?” Dazai dropped Kyouka’s hand, which Atsushi grabbed, and grabbed Akutagawa, who instinctively grabbed Chuuya’s jacket.
“Simple! For a family vacation!” And with one simple tug, Dazai fell through the portal, followed by Akutagawa and Atsushi, who dragged Chuuya and Kyouka along.
And thus, the five of them ended up in an alternate universe where Abilities were called Quirks and heroes and villains actually existed and weren’t just an ideology. Somehow, and no one was quite sure how, nor did they have the guts to ask , Dazai had procured documents of their existence. Thus, Dazai and Chuuya were a married couple with Atsushi, Akutagawa, and Kyouka as their adopted children.
Oh, and they also owned a café named A Lotta Little Latte .
And the icing on the cake? The portal they came through closed behind them. And Dazai was being tight lipped as usual about how to get back to their actual universe.
And thus, they ended up in this situation, just a day later. Dazai and Chuuya arguing over brands of coffee as Kyouka, Akutagawa, and him watched on, unimpressed.
“Should we just go get the coffee brand Chuuya-san is talking about?” Atsushi whispered. The other two took one more glance at the bickering “couple” and nodded. Kyouka snatched a few bills from the cash register and they were off on their way to find the nearest store that sold the coffee beans that Chuuya was talking about. Hopefully said beans actually existed in this universe. But, if not, they could always just buy one of each brand and then make Chuuya figure out which ones were the best.
It didn’t take much for them to figure out that they were hopelessly lost. Honestly, Atsushi wasn’t even sure how they ended up near an overpass in one of the less populated areas. The café was literally right smack in the middle of the bustling town center. But, it wasn’t like any of them had a map or any experience with the so-called city of Musutafu. Still, you’d think they’d be a little less hopeless.
“We’re so lost.”
“Thank you for the ever enlightening insight, Jinko.”
“Always a pleasure to serve.”
“Let’s ask that boy.” Kyouka pointed out a curly, green haired boy who was walking alone underneath the underpass. Her words effectively cut off the ensuing bickering match that would have begun otherwise.
“Of course, great idea Kyouka-chan!” Atsushi praised. He quickened his strides towards the muttering boy, who didn’t seem to notice the trio approaching him. Atsushi opened his mouth to call out, but noticed as some sort of slime creature slithered out of the sewer from behind the boy. “Watch out!” He shouted just as the slime weirdo tried to lunge for the boy. Atsushi shifted his legs and pounced, tackling the boy out of the way, trusting Akutagawa and Kyouka to handle the attacker as Atsushi rolled the boy and himself out of the way, making sure to not injure the kid.
Demon Snow materialized behind Kyouka, drawing the attention of the slime creature. "My! What a strong Quirk! You'll be a perfect meat bag, little girl!" It exclaimed. The thing launched itself towards Kyouka.
"Demon Snow," she muttered. With those two words alone, the Ability lifted its Katana and swung. Thankfully, with no intent to kill, but likely to maim. The blade sliced cleaning through the creature, who just cackled as its slime body just oozed back together.
"Your little blades are useless against my ultimate Quirk! Surrender and perhaps I won't make you suffer upon your untimely end!" Atsushi rolled his eyes at the monologue. The boy he saved was muttering under his breath a mile a minute. He seemed to be analyzing the slime quirk?
"He's able to see and speak. There must be a nervous system, the slime must be acting as some sort of shield from being able to attack it. Could it be part of the slime? But his eyes work normally… they couldn't possibly be slime too- ATTACK THE EYES!" The boy called out to Kyouka. However, before Demon Snow could attack, Akutagawa was there, attacking with Rashoumon. The sharpened cloth stabbed into the left eye. The thing screeched in pain, slime moving as if trying to cover the injured eye. With such a clear opening, Atsushi transformed his right arm and leaped forward, punching the uninjured eye. The force of the blow splattered the slime against the walls of the overpass (hopefully) causing the thing to pass out. He hoped it was just unconscious and not dead, but he also was not sure how to check for a pulse. So, they could leave that cat box unopened.
"Are you alright?" Atsushi asked the boy. He helped him stand up and checked for any injuries. His clothes seemed a bit scorched, but otherwise he seemed fine. Atsushi had no clue how to explain the scorch marks, but his best bet was that it happened before the altercation. "You didn't get hurt did you? The tackle was a bit rough, sorry about that." He awkwardly scratched the back of his head.
"Oh! Uh no, I'm fine! Your quirks are really cool! Areyouguysheroesorheroesintrainingyoulookabityoungtoalreadyhavedebutedbutyourcontrolandutilizationisstillreallyuniquesosurelyyouprobablyhaveatonoftraining." Atsushi wanted to sob trying to decipher the rapid fire jumble of words currently spewing from the boy's mouth.
"Uh sorry, could you repeat like… all of that?"
"Sorry! I was wondering if you were debuted heroes or hero students! I've never seen you before and your Quirks are unique enough that you'd be easy to spot, so it seemed odd is all…" Atsushi glanced nervously at Kyouka and Akutagawa. They had read a few things about the new universe they were in and how apparently only heroes and certain professions were licensed to publicly use their Quirks. Which, technically they hadn't broken that law, but they couldn't exactly prove their innocence. They also definitely weren't ever going to strive to become heroes.
"Are you going to rat us out if we say we're not? Akutagawa interrogated. Rashoumon rippled around the seams of his coat, a threat to anyone with common sense that he would lash out if the wrong thing was said.
"Uh. No, I guess not. I mean breaking the law is bad and all but there's no cameras here and the only witnesses are you guys, the slime guy, and me, and well the police are more likely to believe you three over either of us if you were to claim innocence, so…" Atsushi's curiosity piqued from the choice of words.
"Why would they believe us over you? Criminal over there, I could understand, but why wouldn't they believe you?" The boy bit his lip nervously, shrinking away from their stares.
"That doesn't matter," Kyouka spoke up, clearing the growing tension. The boy stared at her as if she had just saved his life. The admiration was practically tangible as it rolled off of him in waves. "We're lost. Where's a store that sells coffee beans? Preferably beans of the higher quality variety." The boy blinked in shock.
"I could show you, as thanks for rescuing me?" He offered weakly.
"That would suffice." Kyouka nodded, satisfied. Atsushi sighed, slumping forward.
"It's been a day and we've already broken the law."
"You were the one to break it first, Jinko."
"Dazai-san would be proud." Kyouka noted.
The four of them continued walking towards the town center. Unbeknownst to them, the sewer the slime creature popped out from also spat out a blond, muscled hero. The hero, All Might, blinked as he took in the scene. An unconscious slime criminal he had been chasing, splattered across the walls in front of him, with no other person within sight. Confused, he shoveled the slime into a water bottle and capped it. The police could interrogate the criminal and find out the truth of what happened. In the meantime, his time was just about to run out, he needed to be quick!
"Oh! I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Midoriya Izuku! It's a pleasure to meet you all!" They introduced themselves to Izuku, not bothering to use the names that were on their official papers. Dazai was annoying for making them all some weird official family without asking them. He could deal with the consequences when ultimately they came crashing down. Knowing him, he'd probably explain it away as the adoptions were so late in their life the kids never felt comfortable fully taking on his surname. “You guys must have just moved here, welcome to Musutafu!” Atsushi blinked in surprise. A quick glance showed Kyouka looking passive, while Akutagawa had a brow raised. Were they really that obvious?
Considering they got lost while looking for coffee, maybe they shouldn't be surprised.
"Ah yeah, thanks…" Akutagawa glared at him. He glared back. It wasn't his fault he couldn't socialize properly!
They walked in awkward silence, passing by busier and busier streets. Signs advertising the latest top hero merchandise, or the latest top hero takedowns, of the latest top hero sponsored brand names. Needless to say. Heroes were everywhere. And they were…flashy. It was strange. They had been walking down the street for five minutes and all they could see was heroes. The billboards had heroes, the graffiti had heroes, there was literally a hero fight breaking out to their left- wait, what?
Turning his full attention to the other side of the street, he watched as some wood looking hero ran down the sidewalk, chasing after someone holding a comically large bag that made them look like a comic book bank robber. Midoriya broke out into quick mumbles, analyzing the chase out loud. Atsushi couldn't help but be thankful that Ranpo hadn't been brought through the portal with them. He'd have way too much fun training Midoriya's analytical mind.
"You're very knowledgeable in heroes, Midoriya-san," Kyouka interrupted the ongoing analysis. Which, seeing as his the hero has caught the criminal while clearly posing for any cameras that may be in the area.
"Do you plan to be a hero?" Atsushi asked the boy, who seemed to grow more and more nervous from the conversation topic. Which was…odd. That, coupled with the claims that the three of them would be believed by the police over him… Was the boy they met a criminal? The looks shared between Kyouka and Akutagawa showed they were thinking along the same lines as him.
"Ah… Uh… Doyouthinkaquirklesspersoncoukdbecomeahero?" Midoriya spat out. Atsushi furrowed his eyebrows.
"What?"
"Do you think a Quirkless person can become a hero?" Midoriya bit his lip, glancing between all three, looking for signs of disgust or hostility. Atsushi remembered the scorch marks he had originally seen, and the best up notebook that the boy clutched as if it was something that was holding his life. They really needed to take the time to research the new world they were in.
"Why wouldn't they be able to?" Akutagawa asked. "Quirks are hardly anything without skill. Someone without one with more skill than someone with one could easily overpower them." Atsushi nodded. There were plenty of times Gin had been able to beat him in sparring matches, even when he used partial transformations. Midoriya's eyes visibly sparkled as his entire being seemed to brighten and lose the cloud of gloom that had been permeating him.
"You really think that?!" They all nodded. Tears welled up in his eyes and quickly began overflowing. "No one's ever told me that before! Thank you!" Akutagawa cleared his throat and took a step back.
"Yes. Well, we still need the coffee, so…let's keep going." He continued walking down the street, not bothering to wait for Midoriya to catch up on what he said.
"Hey! Wait, you'll get lost if you keep going that way!" Midoriya called out, running to catch up to Akutagawa. Atsushi let out a hesitant chuckle at the sight.
"That was strange," Kyouka noted. Atsushi hummed in agreement. It was strange. The attitudes towards not having a Quirk were…concerning.
"Midoriya-san wants to be a hero. We should help him. Maybe he'll tell us more about the culture here." Kyouka nodded and the two of them set off to catch up with Midoriya and Akutagawa.
"Hm, this might be a problem." They had finally found the coffee store, however none of the brands looked like anything they had in their world. And there were too many for them to reasonably buy one of each.
"We'll just buy the four most expensive ones. Chuuya-san can find a brand he likes if none of them are good." Kyouka grabbed the four different brands, handing off a container to Akutagawa.
"Thank you for showing us the way, Midoriya-san."
"Ah! It was no problem, really! Thank you for saving me! I probably would have died if not for you three!" Midoriya turned to leave.
"Wait!" Atsushi called out. "Come back with us. We'll treat you to some coffee." Akutagawa raised a brow, silently judging Atsushi's impulsive actions. "We could probably also help you. We know a bit about training and fighting using martial arts without Quirks. You're going to need to work a lot harder to beat the discrimination."
"You'd really do that?!" Atsushi nodded, determined to help Midoriya become a hero. "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" Atsushi grinned as Kyouka and Akutagawa both sighed.
"You were gone for an hour. And you've already brought back another traumatized kid?" Chuuya asked them. The scolding wasn't worth much though, seeing as he gave all of them a platter of cookies he had baked and asked Midoriya if he needed first aid for his burns and if there was something going on at home, which of course, left Midoriya mortified. Clearly Chuuya had already mentally adopted the nervous hero hopeful.
"We're going to help him beat the system and become the first Quirkless hero." Midoriya choked on the cookie in his mouth. Chuuya raised an eyebrow, but just shrugged.
"Good. To hell with a discriminatory system."
"Chibi-kun~ I want a plate of cookies too!" Dazai whined, glomping Chuuya from behind. Akutagawa sighed as Chuuya immediately started shouting at Dazai about being a lazy shit who didn't deserve anything after the bullshit he put him through.
"Chuuya is as crass as always." Akutagawa groused.
"Huh? Aren't they your parents? You call them by their names?" Midoriya asked.
"I'd rather have my eyes gouged out than call either of them father."
"Don't listen to him, Midoriya-san! He's just a little grouchy! He had a rough time before the adoption, you know how it is," Dazai called out from the chokehold Chuuya had him in. Midoriya sweatdropped and turned to Kyouka. She simply shrugged and ate another cookie.
"We should plan your training. When is your entrance exam?" Atsushi directed the conversation back to the matter at hand.
"UA's exam is in about ten months."
"Are you only applying to UA? Wouldn't you want to apply to as many as possible to increase your chance?" Atsushi asked.
"Ah. Well. UA is the only hero school that actually accepts Quirkless people into their hero programs."
"..."
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"..."
"What's with your expressions?" Midoriya asked.
"Dazai-san, how difficult would it be to overthrow the government?" Kyouka asked.
"With just us? It'd probably be about as difficult as taking down The Guild. But with some extra help and a little bit of propaganda… well I doubt we'd have to do anything ourselves…"
"You guys can't just overthrow the government!"
"Well why not?"
"Because it's bad!"
"Only if you lose." Midoriya groaned and banged his head onto the table.
"Don't drag me into it, please?"
"Out of all of us, you should want to see the system change the most, Midoriya-san. Why wouldn't you want to be a part of it?" Dazai asked, tilting his head to the side as he analyzed Midoriya's pouting face.
"I do want the system to change. But I want to change it by showing the world that Quirkless people are still people, not by overthrowing the government and committing treason!"
"Again, it's only treason if you lose." Atsushi sighed and took the empty cookie platter to the back to wash off. Dazai and Midoriya could probably talk each other into circles about the morality of overthrowing an unjust government. Eventually, Dazai would win Midoriya over. It wouldn't necessarily be in that conversation, but it'd happen eventually. Having an aspiring hero on side would help in maintaining public approval. Not to mention Midoriya could work on getting his future classmates to join their cause. Dazai would definitely do everything in his power to get Midoriya on side. Atsushi just hoped he didn't commit too many crimes to reach said goal.
Atsushi turned around as the door to the kitchen opened, groaning as Akutagawa and Kyouka walked in.
"How long do you think it'll take for Dazai-san to convince Midoriya-san?"
"A week."
"The next time he comes over." Akutagawa raised an eyebrow at Kyouka's response. She simply shrugged and gestured to Dazai's scheming form.
"Midoriya-san will be vital to overthrowing the system. Dazai-san will convince him as fast as possible. He probably already knows how to best get him on side."
"When is Midoriya-san coming back?" Atsushi asked.
"He'll be coming back tomorrow so we can construct a training program for him. He'll need strength building and combat practice. He'll also need a weapon of choice," Akutagawa explained.
"I gave him a knife," Kyouka noted.
Akutagawa's eyes widened minutely. "When did you do that?"
"When you dodged Dazai-san's pestering about calling him father." Atsushi wasn't sure how they were going to convince the people of this universe that they were actually a family, but they were just running a café… surely that wouldn't attract too much attention? Even if they were also leading a revolution… this was turning into the worst vacation spot.
“I don’t see why he insisted on making us a family,” Atsushi sighed.
“You’d have to ask him.”
“As if he’d ever answer.” Kyouka shrugged.