Chapter 1: Getting a tutor (or two)
Chapter Text
Peter herboligy tutor au:
In his heart Barty had always known that skipping herbology was a bad idea. But honestly, he was the top student his year in almost every subject, and herbology was so easy last time he went…….. Four months ago. Which looking back is a rather long time, but other, more important stuff just happened to come up during those lessons.
For one, it was always the first lesson in the morning. Keeping a good sleep schedule is just sooo extremely important for Barty, health and all that stuff.
Two, Ravenclaw had started “temporarily” having herbology with Gryffindor instead of Hufflepuff. Yeah right. Barty had only been the first time they had had it with the Gryffindors, and it had been hell on earth. Sure, Evan and Reg had warned him, but holy fuck, he thought they only behaved that way around the Slytherins.
Three, the professor once made them do something with this screaming plant, and no way Barty was ever putting his ears at risk like that again. Some poor bloke had to be in the hospital wing with hearing loss for almost an entire week before they could fix him.
So, it really didn’t come as a huge surprise that his grade had fallen, but it still hurt his ego that everyone could see it. And honestly it looked ridiculous. Barty name at the top of every subject, except for that one. Number one, number one, number one, number two in potions, number one, number one, FAILLING HERBOLYGY, number one, number one. The fact that they even kept a public scoreboard for the grades, is actually pure evil, Barty decided. It had to be a humiliation tactic specifically aimed at him, and only him. And it was working.
Barty liked to picture himself as a confident fella. And he was, most of the time, pretty confident. Some had, in the past, even referred to him as “full of himself” *cough* Reg *cough* but seeing his name there at the bottom of the list. Standing there and knowing that everyone else could see it too. That they were seeing it. They saw him failing. Not just the rest of the Ravenclaws, not just his friends in Slytherin, the whole school could bloody see it for themselves. The mighty Barty Crouch Junior fallen from his throne and god did it bruise his ego.
The rest of the week it felt like everyone was looking at him. Like he had DUMPED written across his forehead or something. It didn’t matter if they were looking with pity or as a taunt, it all feels the same in the end.
So yeah, Barty confidence was a little shaken, and if he came back every day to glare at the scoreboard like that was going to change anything, then that’s no one else’s business. Not only did Barty glare at the scoreboard during the day, but he would also often sneak out at night just to check that it really was real. He really was a failure. It was on one of these nights that Barty decided to stop moping around and start reclaiming his throne.
It was on one of these nights that he came up with a plan. He was going to take that number one spot no matter how hard he had to work for it. Barty was going to get, not one tutor in herbology, he was going to get two separate tutors in herbology. So that he, in the end, can upstage both of them.
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The first tutor was relatively easy to convince to tutor him. But it was never really that hard to convince Evan Rosier to do anything at all. “Want to study together till the break of dawn?” “Sure!” “Want to skip the whole day?” “Sure!” “Want to tutor me in herbology?” “Sure!”. Okay maybe he did also have to throw in some candy and promise that he wouldn’t report Evan if he ever spotted him out at night during one of Bartys prefect rounds.
Like he would ever have reported him anyway.
No Evan wasn’t all that hard to convince. And many may have stopped there. Most people would think that one tutor would be enough. Especially for Barty, who didn’t really have any issues understanding the subject, he just kinda hadn’t been there. But to beat the number one you must learn directly from the number one.
Barty was going to convince Peter Pettigrew to be his tutor.
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There are two benefits to having Peter as a tutor.
- Peter is the best in herbology.
- If Peter agrees to tutoring Barty, he then in turn has less time for his own homework. In the beginning it won’t be a problem for Peter, but in the long run it could seriously damage his grades.
There are of course also down sides to having to hang around Pettigrew. He is for example friends with Reggie’s dumbass brother. Normally Barty doesn’t really care all that much about who Reg has drama with, but it will certainly make it a lot harder to convince Peter.
He couldn’t just walk up to him and ask, Peter would assume it was a joke, or a mockery of sorts. No, he couldn’t ask directly. He couldn’t ask at all.
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Two days and a herbology lesson later and Barty is fake crying in the professor’s office. Trying his hardest not to do a little spin in the silly little spiny chair he’d been placed in.
“..and I swear I was going to come to class after that, I would never let a few broken bones keep me from herbology class, but then my cat died and my father had a minor magic acci-“
“That’s quite enough mister Crouch. I do not recall asking for your little sob story, I need to know what you intend to do about your failing grade.” The professor flashed him a copy of his test sheet, as if he hadn’t already seen it.
Barty pretended to be deeply in thought before he replied. “I think I need someone to help me in my free time, but I don’t know who. None of my friends are interested in the extra credit it might give them, so I just don’t know who to ask. I obviously can’t do it alone, it’s a very hard subject, and all my peers have certainly learned from the best of the best.” He scratched his hands nervously on the table. “I think the only way I may have just a slight chance of improving my grade, is if we got someone from the top of the class to tutor me. It can’t be Rosier, he’s too busy with quidditch, and he takes extra potions with Black. It would have to be Pettigrew, but I just don’t think he would ever say yes to that, you know? He probably has so much going on, on the side already. I also sometimes think he looks down on Ravenclaws. It’s a shame really, I mean I am the ONLY one failing your class? Aren’t I? It could have been the first time, in what? Ten years? That you had an entire class pass”
“11 years”
“I’m so sorry, what?”
“It has been 11 years.”
“11 years…” Barty casts a pitying smile “And you were sooo close, but alas he just would never agre-“
“I’ll tell him to do it” Barty looks slightly confused at the professor, as if this wasn’t exactly what he had been aiming for. As if the teacher didn’t know it. “I will tell Pettigrew to tutor you for extra credit. But then I also really want you to make an effort. If I hear a single complaint about your behavior, I’ll give you detention for the rest of the year.”
Barty shoots up from his chair and grasp the professor’s hands. “OH THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I promise I won’t let you down. I’ll be sooo good, I won’t ev-“
“Crouch” The professor pulls her hands out of his grasp. “I’ll see you on Monday, now get out of here.”
“You won’t regret thi-“
“OUT!”
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Barty has tutoring with Evan once a week and Peter twice.
At first, it’s a bit awkward, with Peter of course, nothing is ever awkward with Evan. They agree to meet in the library for the tutor lessons. Barty can just feel everyone staring at them, and he hates it. Hates that they all know that he’s getting tutored.
Peter probably hates it too, he doesn’t really seem like a person who revels in attention, even though most of his friends basically are celebrities. But for a person who is forced to be there, he complains less than you would expect him to.
Barty was five minutes late to their first ever lesson, and Pettigrew didn’t even mention it. Just looked down on his book and started mumbling something about “starting with the basics.”
Their definitions of “starting with the basics” are apparently very different. Where Barty would have preferred some light work, Peter seemingly thought that the Thonasy theory, Ledigu circuit and Josmakick process were common knowledge. It really isn’t. But he is so not about to admit to that, instead he notes all the fucked up terms down in his brain, and then he just askes Evan about them later. Is it petty, yeah. Should he just admit to Pettigrew that he doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about, maybe yeah. Does it make the number of sessions he has with Evan go up, also yeah.
And he does feel a bit bad about it.
A bit.
But not only does it help him improve rabidly, spending time with Evan makes him happy. And after all it isn’t just Evans schedule that takes damage here. Baty now has tutoring four times a week, twice in the library and twice in a dorm that physically could not be further away from Ravenclaw tower. So yes he is losing a fair amount of sleep.
And maybe that’s what does it.
Maybe that what makes him act that way.
In the beginning, the time he spends with Peter is incredibly boring. Just herbology with herbology on top. But then things start to change.
Peter started giggling under his breath at Bartys dumb jokes. Peter started playfully kicking him under the table when he said something outrageous. In turn Barty began staying longer.
He would stay with Peter longer, then get to Evan late, and by the time they got done, it would be too late to walk the halls back to his own dorm. Well, he tried it anyway but after getting caught twice he decided to just stay over. To just sleep in Evans bed.
Nothing weird about that. Mates do that all the time.
He doesn’t know when he began sitting so close to Peter, he could count the boy’s freckles. When did he start letting Evan braid his hair? When did Peter start saying hello to him in the hallways, like they were real friends? When did Evan start looking away when Barty changed? When did Peter start opening up to him about his troubles in the friend group? When did Evan begin to sit at the Ravenclaw table for breakfast? When did his lessons with Peter become less about herbology and more about stargazing? When did Evan begin to hold him in his sleep? When the hell did Barty start sleeping in the Slytherin dorm every day?
He knows the answer to none of it, but he does know exactly which day he realized that he has feelings for Peter.
Chapter 2: Moaning Mandrakes
Notes:
Thank you guys so much for the lovely comments on the last chapter, it really means a lot!! <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Did you hear about Lupin?”
“What, that bloke from Gryffindor that always hangs around with Black?”
“Yeah, the one with the scars”
“What about him?”
“They say he’s a werewolf.”
“that’s not possible, where did you hear that? “
“I don’t believe it eith-“
“Do you people ever shut up!?” Regulus groans from his spot in the corner, immediately making the second years scram up to their dorm. Reg sighs over his homework, the things people will make up these days.
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“I think we’re ready for you to try something more practical. You need to learn how to use your hands too, you know?”
You need to learn how to use your hands too, you know.
You need to learn how to use your hands.
Use your hands.
Barty of course would never overthink the things Peter says, ever. But as he pulled on his winter boots, he just couldn’t stop his thoughts from going there.
He was nervous, so bloody nervous.
Peter had asked him last time if he wanted to go outside and get better at the more physical parts of herbology. Barty does not want to mess this up. He really doesn’t. He has just gotten to a level at herbology where he doesn’t feel constantly embarrassed, where he doesn’t feel like he’s making a fool of himself in front of Peter. Knowing the subject in theory, and knowing it in practice, are two very different things.
Barty knows he’s horrible with plants.
Barty knows that Peter knows that he is horrible with plants.
But he doesn’t want him to see it. To remember how little Barty really knows. To think he is stupid. To be completely honest he had considered faking a sickness, like that would really work.
He ended up going anyway. And God, he would never regret it.
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The snow is falling outside, but it’s relatively humid in the greenhouse.
Peter had gotten them both the key and a permission slip to stay out for longer. They were all alone. In a candlelit greenhouse, surrounded by flowers in bloom.
In the middle of the winter.
Being able to look outside at the dead barren landscape outside, while standing in a living, breathing environment.
Barty would almost call it romantic.
Almost.
“-ut, if you pull on the roots too strongly it might bre-”
Peter was rambling on about the screaming mandrake that the professor had left them to use. He should probably be paying attention right now. But Peters cheeks were still red from the cold outside, and Barty can not stop staring.
Peter looks adorable. With his earmuffs still on, and the scarf around his neck slowly coming outdone, revealing an increasing amount of skin.
“-s is soundproof so we won’t have to worry about accidently waking anyone up i-“
Barty could bite him.
“-t immediately, don’t be scared to be a bit rougher, a mandr-“
He should. He should claim those pretty lips, make them all swollen, and red. Make them all his. Make them bleed.
“-ust rotate your hands around it, go-“
Press their bodies close together and feel Peter gasp into his mouth.
-re you even listening? Bar-“
Suck marks all the way down his pretty throa-
“Earth to Barty!”
He felt someone taking a hold of his hands and his head immediately shot up. Peter was standing on the other side of the table, a knowing smile on his face. Fuck.
“Oh, I am so sorry mate, zoned out there for a little while, didn’t sleep well last night, you know how it is.” Barty let out an awkward laugh, but Peter just kept smiling, still holding Bartys hands.
“It’s okay, I guess the instructions are a bit complicated for a beginner, I’ll help you step by step, no worries, okay?” Peter asked, still holding Bartys hands. He didn’t wait for an answer before lightly placing Bartys hands down on top of the mandrake.
They were standing across from each other, with the small table between them, And Barty was bewitched.
“When I tell you to pull, you pull got it?” Peter said, loosening up his grip on Bartys hands. Barty watched as Peter casted a sound-isolation spell on his fluffy earmuffs. He barely got a second to worry about his own ears before he felt a pair of soft hands encase his head.
Bartys hands were on the mandrake, Peters hands were over Bartys ears.
He saw Peters mouth sounding out the words, and he pulled. He could faintly hear the mandrake flip out in the background. He started turning his head down to look at it, but Peter kept his head in place.
Peter stared into his eyes.
Peter lightly pulled his head forward, giving Barty plenty of time to pull away.
Peter joined their lips together and Barty’s world shifted.
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The kiss is soft, and (he would never comment on it out loud) a slight bit awkward.
The table is digging its way into Barty’s abdomen, while he learns forward desperately trying to keep their lips connected.
Barty had never expected Peter to make a bold move like that.
Barty had never expected Peter to be interested in him.
But he was, and God did it feel amazing. He wanted to touch Peter so bad, to run his hands over Peters body, but his hands are stuck on the bloody mandrake. Peter however is clearly also feeling a bit bothered by their lack of hands, as he breaks the kiss with a light giggle and shots some wandless spell at the mandrake to make it shut up.
Barty jumps up to sit on the table, shocking Peter slightly, as he encases him between his legs and quickly deepens a new kiss.
He could get used to this.
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They break it up after about an hour. Hesitantly splitting up at the stairs, after a kiss (or five).
Barty felt soooooooo giddy, even as he watched Peter leave up the stairs. It didn’t matter that it was over, only that it did happen, and it would happen again.
It would happen a lot. Barty vowed that it would happen often. He would not screw this up. Barty kept replaying the night in his mind, over and over again, as Peter headed back to his own bed and Barty headed to Evans. He couldn’t help but think that this was one of the best things that had ever happened in his life.
His brain didn’t really turn on till the next morning.
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This is a problem.
This is a huge problem.
Barty has never ever been in love before, and he is so not ready to start now. Especially not with a Gryffindor, especially not with a boy.
Because that’s what Peter is, a boy.
Barty does not have anything against homos, but he sure as fuck isn’t one. He had never even thought about the possibility of it all. What do you even do with another boy, how does it all work!? He knows that Evan and Regulus would sometimes practice kissing on each other, but that was just practice, and Barty never joined in.
This was real.
Real feelings.
Barty is gay.
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He was starting to get a good grasp on herbology, at least the theoretical part, and he could feel Evan becoming less and less committed to the tutoring lessons. It wasn’t that Barty didn’t feel welcome in the Slytherin dorm anymore, in fact he felt a little too at home.
Logically he knows that it has been like this for a while. The pausing the lesson to play cards and cuddle for a few hours. It isn’t new. But it is different.
Because Barty is gay, and he knows it.
And Evan doesn’t.
He doesn’t know about the way Barty would stare at his lips, his hips, his piercings. He doesn’t know about the way that Barty will lay in Evans arms, run his fingers through the other boy’s bleach blonde hair, and think about Peter.
He holds Evan and thinks about Peter.
And it’s all so unfair.
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Regulus is starting to grow tired. Why does this kind of stuff always happen to him? That was a rhetorical question, he knows exactly why they did it.
As he spells his shoes down from the roof, he is already plotting his revenge. His cousins wouldn't like it. Bella would surely go up in flames if she found out that someone was bullying her “Little Regina.” But he isn’t her little Regina. He’s no Regina at all, so he will solve his issues himself. Mulciber is going to fucking beg him for mercy, and he won’t give it to him, for he is the heir Black.
It’s not like it really an issue for him. It’s all so uncreative and easy to solve, we live in a world full of magic and Regulus is quite good at using it. Getting his shoes down from the roof, cutting his hair whenever they hex it to get longer. Hell, checking his food for poison takes less than 30 seconds. But it’s still a waste of time, and a major disrespect.
It also didn’t make it easier for Mulciber and friends that it all had to be so hush hush. If their parents find out, they might as well be dead. But they won’t find out, and they will wish they were dead once Reg is done with them.
Which he will, as soon as he has less homework because he doesn’t have time for both :(
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Barty feels great when he’s with Peter. Even if it has to happen in secret. He would actually argue that it makes it better. He did always like sneaking around, and Peter is quite good at it.
Peter knows the castle in and out, finding hiding places Barty would never have noticed, it’s bloody brilliant. It’s also incredibly attractive.
Herbology ends up becoming less herbology and more just biology, even though they never cross the line. Peter hasn’t brought them over that line, and Barty barely knows what there even is to do.
Can blokes even do more than kiss?
It doesn’t even matter, surely Barty won’t ever need more than this. Peter is something special to him, and even though they technically haven’t talked about what they are to each other, he would consider Peter much more than a friend.
Peter surely assumes the same.
Surely
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Evan is not stupid.
Something is very clearly up with Barty, and he doesn’t know how to feel about it.
On one hand he is more physicaly affectionate. He holds Evan tighter whenever they had their sleepovers. He plays with his hair. He laughs harder at Evans jokes.
But on the other, he is more distant. Barty often zones out during conversations, sometimes it doesn’t really feel like he is listening to Evan at all. It feels like they are on two different planets, like there is this wall between them that he just can’t break through.
Once upon a time, Evan would have given everything for Barty to touch him like he does now. He would have bought anything, killed anyone, for Barty to hold him. But now it just doesn’t feel all that special.
Not because he’s gotten used to it, not at all.
He can still clearly feel the butterflies flapping their tiny pretty wings in his stomach. He still gets goosebumps every time Bartys lips accidently graze his shoulder.
Evan is all in for this.
For fuck sake, he had been sticking his tongue down Reg’s throat pretending it was Bartys for years. He was supposed to feel over the bloody moon now. But it just felt icky.
He knows that Barty is straight. He knows that. He came to terms with that years ago. That’s okay. There is nothing he can do about that. Sure, he had felt a bit weird when Barty first started staying over, like he was taking advantage of him or something. But it wasn’t that anymore. It was almost the opposite.
He knows that it doesn’t mean anything to Barty. They’re just friends, and if anything, he’s the one in the wrong for dreaming of kissing his friend like this. But these days it's beginning to feel less and less like a real friendship.
They have never been so close together yet so far apart before.
Sometimes, he wonders if they were ever even really friends
Notes:
A lot of very short parts strung together, hope you guys don't mind it's a lot easier for me to write.
Wrote this in one go, so theres probably a lot of mistakes, but you guys will have to live with that (or point it out, so i can correct it).
Chapter 3: Avoiding the reckless
Notes:
This is one is more longer parts, so it did take a bit longer. I suspeckt that i will be able to post at least one chapter a month.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Barty gets a decent score on a herbology test. Decent, not good. He still has a long way to go. But he is getting there.
He knows the basics, and he is over-average in the theoretical stuff, but still lacks in the physicals. Peter has been trying to do teach him more, but it’s very hard for Barty to focus on studying when there are so many other things they could be doing.
Like holding hands.
And kissing.
To be fair Peter wasn’t not encouraging the laziness, so at least he isn’t the only one to blame. Maybe they would have an easier time trying to control themselves if they saw each other outside of the lessons. But they don’t. Only short smiles across classrooms and the occasional hand-brushing in the hallways. It isn’t enough for Barty, it never is. But he never says anything, and Peter doesn’t complain.
It all being a secret, isn’t only for Barty’s sake, he knows that. It’s extremely important for both of them that no one. Absolutely no one, finds out. Peters’ parents aren’t the most accepting, and even though they’ve never talked about Peters roommates, Barty figures that being openly gay and sharing a dorm with the non-queer Black brother might not be an ideal situation.
And if Bartys parents finds out. Yeah, his dad would certainly kill them both. He can’t tell his friends either, Evan because Peter is a boy, Reg because Peter is a Gryffindor and a very close friend of his brother. To be fair Barty doesn’t know for sure if Evan is homophobic or not. He sure does engage in behavior that most people would describe as “gay” but it isn’t serious and he is a Rosier. Just because he accepts Regulus being trans doesn’t mean he would be okay with Barty sharing spit with a male half-blood.
Their little corner in the school library is their safe haven. Behind rows and rows of books they can feel safe to touch as much as they want to, without worrying about the eyes all over the school. Or at least they could, for a time.
With the exam season slowly creeping up on students, the library is getting packed with an increasing amount of stress filled hormone bombs, that in their annoyance, notice even the smallest sounds. They can’t stay there for anything but deep and quiet herbology studies anymore.
So they move around.
Whenever they get the chance to meet outside, they take it. But even with spring clearing the weather up a bit, it’s still bloody wet and the rain is merciless, so they don’t do it too often. The dark hallways after curfew offer a lot of privacy, but they constantly have to be on edge, and Peters friends are getting a little too curious about were Peter goes in the middle of the night.
They’ve been making out just about anywhere in the castle, but Barty has no clue where Peter is currently leading him.
Well, he knows the hallway, and he knows that they’re headed towards the Ancient Runes classrooms, which are frankly, not where Barty normally prefers to spend his time. But Peter is pulling him along while holding his hand, so who can really complain.
Suddenly Peter stops and turn them towards a door, a door that Barty has never seen before. It’s not weird that new doors appear here and there in the castle, but normally there’s nothing behind them, just a wall and sometimes a hole in the ground.
Peter opens the door with confidence, like he has done it a hundred times before. Barty doesn’t know what he expects to be behind the door, but this surely isn’t it.
It almost looks like a little cabin, or a nice old lady’s apartment. There’s plants and flowers everywhere, the tapestry is a nearly sickly-looking ivy design, and the couch is yellow with orange and red flowers. Barty had never seen anything that looked so absolutely ridiculous before, but he had never felt so at home.
Peter pulls him into the room and quickly closed the door behind them, immediately smashing their lips together making Barty forget all of his questions about the weird new room.
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It’s the third time in a row that Baty hasn’t showed up to herbology lessons with Evan.
Evan isn’t upset about it at all.
And if he is then it’s only because he has spent so long planning it. So when he sits, legs crossed, in his bed while repeatingly using his wand to slam Regulus’s pack of Whurling Chocolates, then it’s purely because he enjoys it.
His bed is cold and the worst part about it, is that he doesn’t know why. Barty doesn’t tell him anything, there’s no “hey I’m not coming today, but no worries it’s not because I hate you, I just have too much homework.”
And Evan even asked him why, and all he got was a far away look and a “Oh I’m sorry I forgot, ill show up next time though.”
But he didn’t.
Evan is alone in the dorm again and he knows that he won’t be able to sleep. Because maybe he’ll show up, maybe he is just 2 hours late, this is Hogwarts, stuff happens. But when footsteps approach the door and the door creaks open, it’s Regulus coming through the door not Barty.
“Why do you look so disappointed, could you maybe leave my chocolates alone?” He looks tired, and it is actually pretty late. Late for Regulus anyway. He normally lays in his bed snoring while Evan and Barty still dally around pretending to do their homework, but lately Reg has been coming back in the middle of the night. Evan doesn’t know if he’s grateful for it, or if it makes everything worse.
Regulus hasn’t been noticing his problems, so he has never asked Evan about it. Whenever he’s with Reg it’s easy to forget about his issues with Barty, easy to pretend that everything is like it was a year ago. On the other hand, it could maybe be nice to talk it out with Reg. He knows Barty just as well as Evan does, and Evan is pretty sure that he figured out about his crush on Barty about a year ago now.
“Evan my chocolates for fucks sakes!” Regulus has taken his coat off, why was he wearing his coat, has he been outside? He is running his hands though his hair in that frantic way he always does when he’s spiraling, pushing it around with an unbecoming violence. “Do you think I should cut it again? It’s getting a bit long, isn’t it? It’s too long. Could you get Panda to cut it for me? Do you think she would that so soon after last time?”
Evan doesn’t respond, he just keeps toying with the chocolate box. His sister surely would though. She loves cutting Regs hair, and she’s good at it too. Evan would never let her touch his hair, she would mess it up on purpose he just knows it, but she does most of the Ravenclaw students’ hair. Both boys and girls.
Even Bartys.
She’s in Ravenclaw and she knows Barty. She knows everyone there, and she’s friends with Skeeter, surely if something is wrong with Barty she can find out. She’ll easily figure out if he’s sick, if somethings going on at home, or if there’s some girl he sneaks into his dorm at night.
If he has a lover.
What is Barty’s type? Would it be some gorgeous Hufflepuff brunette from the year above. One who has all her shit together. Someone who’s funny, cool and kind. Does he prefer tall girls, Evan figures that he might. Do they go on dates, a picnic date by the lake or a romantic date to Hogsmeade. Evan has always fantasized about a picnic date. It doesn’t have to be by the lake, it could be on the toilet for all he cared, as long as Barty’s there. Do they have many sleepovers? What does his roommates do when he has her over? Are they in the room while he fuc-
“EVAN”
There’s chocolate all over the floor, the busted box laying against the wall.
“WHAT IS UP WITH YOU THESE DAYS!? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST BE NORMAL!”
Evan stares at Regulus, and Regulus stares back.
“I’m sorry Reg I didn’t mean to break them, I’ll clea-“
“No, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have yelled like that, it’s not even really you that I’m angry with” He sits down on the bed next to Evan, throwing his shoes off before pulling his feet all the way up with him. “Aren’t you supposed be tutoring Barty right now? Or has that thickheaded idiot given up on his Herbology grades?”
“I guess, yeah” He avoids Regs eyes, knowing that the waterworks are very close to springing into use.
“Are you okay?” Regulus asks and Evan nods. The lump in his throat too big to express anything vocally. “Regulus tips his fingers under Evans jaw, connecting their eyes before he asks again. “Are you okay Evan.”
The tears start rolling and Evan breaks in Regulus’s arms.
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*Earlier*
Regulus is in the middle of scheming when he sees it. Severus Snape trailing after Remus Lupin from the shadows.
A Remus Lupin who also seem to be hiding from someone, or something. Regulus is a simple person, when he sees two people sneaking around after curfew, he’s going to follow them.
He casts a silencing charm over himself, he makes sure to keep a good distance, he doesn’t take risks. They are moving outside and with even more opportunities so slip away from sight, Regulus is sure that he has this in the bag.
He stays hidden. He looks behind himself, he knows he does! He is being careful, so bloody careful, so he really doesn’t know how he didn’t see it coming.
But a hand on his shoulder sends a shock wave through him. He turns around and before him stands James bloody Potter.
Reg has never really seen Potter up close before. He is one of Siri’s friends, so Reg knows to stay away. But even then, he is pretty sure that the older boy doesn’t normally wear that angry expression. Too be fair he did just catch Regulus creepily following one of his best friends, and it doesn’t seem like he has noticed Severus, so it makes sense that he is a bit pissed. But it still hurts. James Potter is looking at him like he’s the devil. Like Reg is some dangerous animal that is going to hurt Lupin first chance it gets.
And he probably does believe that, and maybe he’s right. Siri sure thinks so, and he knows Reg better than everyone, he knows Reg better that Reg knows himself.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing out here?”
“I-I was just looking for a friend..?” Regulus says, pathetically trying to get out what he has done.
“There are more of you out here? Don’t you know how late it is, it’s way past curfew, I’m going to have to give you detention.”
And oh. James doesn’t know. James hasn’t even seen Lupin. Potter’s a prefect, he probably just thinks that Reg is out looking for unknowing victims to bully, or whatever else evil evil Slytherins do in their free time.
“If you tell me who’s out here with you, I’ll reduce time off of the detention.”
“Severus Snape” It comes out before Regulus can even really think about it, he does not have that much time for detention. And Snape is out here somewhere.
“Of course he is, I trust that you can find your way back to the Slytherin hole on your own. If I find out that you haven’t went straight back, I’ll have you suspended from the quidditch team for the rest of the season. You meet me on Tuesday in the library after school for the detention, got it?
“Yes”
“Well move along then.” Potter turns around and leaves Regulus shaking in place.
He doesn’t know why but the thought of Potter talking to him. Looking at him. Makes him scared. Maybe it's because Reg knows he'll probably tell Siri later, and they're probably going to make fun of him together. Maybe because he’s an older boy with a lot of popularity. Maybe it’s the way his eyes feel so soft and yet so intense.
Regulus often walks by the painting of his great great grandfather, he has to, unless he wants to do a huge detour. Normally it doesn’t bother him that much. The words of an old man in an old painting shouldn’t have that much of an effect on him. But today it hurts. It hurts when the painting mocks him as he walks by. It hurts when it tells him he is undeserving of being the family heir. It hurts when the other paintings join in.
Laughing at “Reckless Regina”
Notes:
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, i'm happy that i got that out. As an exhange student i don't always have a lot of time on my hands, but lately ive started picking up my old hobbies from back home again and i feel so much better about myself!!
Chapter 4: Potts of Lupins
Chapter Text
The secret room quickly become Barty and Peters permanent meeting place. Even though Peter refuses to tell Barty how he found out about it in the first place.
Its extremely practical to meet there, there’s no other students to bother them and none of the teachers know about it either. They get to kiss whenever and however they want, and the room itself almost seems to change with the pair’s needs. Barty has never felt like this before.
He feels free when he’s with Peter, he feels loved and he feels wanted. So, fucking wanted. It’s not like no one has ever desired Barty before. Lots of girls have made their interest known, even though standing next to Evan for a longer time can make anyone look ugly. The girls at Hogwarts don’t know him. They don’t know about his interest or his fears. They aren’t interested in just laying around with him for an entire night. They something else. They want his body.
Baty knows sex, Barty thinks about sex, Barty wants to have sex but not without strings. He knows about the rumors, and he lets them roam the castle. He spread them himself. Barty Crouch Junior fucks anything with a pulse, he has already been with half of the castle. Not to make himself look cooler in other eyes, but to smear his pureblood image.
His mother had cried when she first heard it. She had sworn to figure out who had spread it, she wanted to sue them. Sue some random child. But she never found out. Barty’s father was not only angry, he believes it, and its making Barty a lot harder to match with a promising lady.
To Barty sex means something deeper, and maybe that’s his fathers lessons from childhood affecting him, maybe it’s just him. He’s not waiting till marriage, just for the right person and maybe that’s Peter?
“Do you want to stay tonight?” Peter askes, he does every time, every night, and Barty always answers, “If you are then yeah.” So, they do. They stay together every night.
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Regulus fights a mental battle with a pair of scissors as he gets ready for the day. The Tuesday. He knows that he has to go through the entire school day before the detention. It probably won’t matter how many times he readjusts his tie in front of the mirror in the morning, it’ll come undone during the day anyway. His hair is too long. Way too long. But if he cuts it himself, he’ll end up looking ridiculous. And why does he even care about what he looks like? It’s just a detention. It’s just James Potter. James Potter.
Regulus tells himself that it’s because of Sirius. That he wants to prove to his brother’s friend that he isn’t the annoying little girl he has heard about. That Sirius has told him about. He tells himself that the way his smoothens his robes out, the way he lines his eyes are a way of proving that.
Later, as he stands in front of the library’s door, he knows that it’s a lie.
He likes quidditch, but not enough to justify occasionally watching Gryffindor train. He wants to keep up with how his brother is doing, but does he have to sit facing the Gryffindor table every time? He has been jealous from the beginning. The deep jealousy for James Potter, the boy who got to be Siri’s brother, quickly turned into hatred. But hatred is a strong emotion, too strong for human control, and it can turn itself into anything it wants. His hatred had stopped being hate long ago.
Potter sits by himself facing the wall in the back of the room. He doesn’t notice Reg approaching, nose too far into a book about quidditch. Reg catches himself awkwardly standing there and wondering if he should just leave, but ultimately getting suspended from the quidditch team is too big of a threat.
“So, did you end up catching Snape?” He claims the chair across from James, and send him a charming smile, befitting of a Black heir. He might be a pathetic mess on the inside, but on the outside he’s a pureblood from the sacred 28, he knows how to present himself.
Potter looks up, clearly Regs sudden appearance had startled him. “O- no I didn’t run into him, but I reported him to Slughorn, Snape is serving his detention with him. I kind of assumed you knew that already.”
“Slughorn was willing to spend time with Snape outside of class!? He normally attempts to avoid him like the plague. You haven’t told Snape that it was me who ratted him out have you?” It wouldn’t be that much of a bother, but Black heir snitches to Gryffindor on fellow Slytherin is a slightly annoying headline to have printed in the unofficial school paper. But if it really gets down to it, he’s just going to bribe Rita out of it, which he can, but God are her prices steep.
“I told Slughorn that you told me, whether or not he has told Snape I can’t claim to know. Why, are you scared of it fucking up your friendship? I promise you can find better friends than him.” Reg thought back to all the times Snape had made fun of him. Harassed him. Tripping him over in the hallway, messing with his potion assignment on purpose, just last week he sat fire to Regs hair. Him and Mulciber in the second year holding his favorite plush over his head, Siris old plush, he remembered them slowly ribbing it apart, swearing that they would stop if he admitted to being a girl. If he called himself a girl and started ‘Acting accordingly’, they would eventually return it to him. They had lied, and he lost so much that week.
“He is not my friend” He mumbled. “Oh, of course, my apologies that I assumed that someone of your rank would ever be friends with a half-blood. Silly me.” Regulus couldn’t help rolling his eyes, even though the little voice in his head, that sounded like his mother, made sure to inform him that such behavior is deeply unbecoming of a pureblood. At least the kind of pureblood that James assumes that he is. “It’s less about him being a half-blood and more about him being a disgusting twat with no real prospects for the future.” How’s that for unbecoming.
James, taken a bit aback, let out a quick unguarded chuckle. “While I do love a good shit talk session, you’re here to clean the shelves, not to chit-chat.” He moved his hands around as if to make him aware of the books laying on the ground around them “Better get started I have a feeling that we’re going to be here for a while.”
“Scourgify” Regulus smirked at James as the books all flew to their rightful places on their own. “You were saying?”
“Rubrumliber” James send him a smile that could surely make every Gryffindor girl go wild, and the books were once again a spread-out mess “You have to do it yourself, with your hands.” Regulus hummed unhappily but started to pick the nearest books up from the floor. “This is a waste of time; I don’t get why I can’t just use my magic.”
“This is detention, it’s a punishment, it’s not supposed to be something that you can just use a spell to get out off. Even though it is a damn handy spell, seems I have wasted many hours of my life cleaning my dorm by hand.”
“You clean your dorm by hand!? You’re a pureblood surely you know cleaning spells.”
“Nope, my mom seems to think that cleaning by hand would do me some good. And then I guess I just never really searched up the information by myself. Are they hard spells?” James assumed that they were. Remus knew a few but he refused to use them to help the rest of them out, but Remus is extremely talented for his age.
“Cleaning spells are literally amongst of the easiest spells Potter, they were some of the first spells Siri and I learned.” He regretted the words as soon as they had left his mouth. He shouldn’t be mentioning his brother in front of Potter. Shouldn’t be reminding him of just who Regulus is.
“Siri? Sirius knows cleaning spells!? No fucking way, he is so dead when I get my hands on him. That bastard has been leaving me to clean for years, and he can just do it with a spell!” Regulus couldn’t help but smile and shrug at that. Remembering all the times he had to use the spell because his older brother refused to. “Siri has always preferred to live in a pigsty, ItS nOt A mEsS iTs JuSt CrEaTiVe PlAcEmEnT” His Sirius imitation unnervingly on point, honed by an excessive amount of mocking to make himself feel better.
“That’s Sirius for you, I genuinely don’t think I’ve meet anyone as messy as him. You know one time in first year he-“
That evening Regulus went back to his dorm with a smile on his face.
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Peter wouldn’t say that he had low self-esteem, he’s just realistic. The hottest guy at Hogwarts, the guy he had had a crush on for years now. Wouldn’t ever want anything to do with him. But he could still look, respectfully, of course.
He knew that he looked pathetic staring after the Slytherins when they walk by, wishing that he would look back. God the things he would do just to get the bloke to smile in his direction. For him to acknowledge him. But he feels so incredibly unapproachable.
Peter considers himself an decently attractive guy, he also assumes that he is at least comfortable to be around based on the number of friends he has. But the way that the other boy could light up the entire castle with his smile. The way his hair seemed to encase his head effortlessly like a crown, or a halo. It is simply unrivaled, and Peter can admit that it fills him with admiration and adoration while also being absolutely detrimental to his confidence.
People are into Peter. Barty Crouch Junior for example had wanted him continuously for a while now. And Peter does want him back. But how much does that really mean?
Barty is nice to Peter, he’s attractive and, despite his herbology troubles, a smart guy. He should be enough for Peter. But Peter wants something real. The thing with Barty isn’t real, no matter how much he pretends it is. No matter how much he wants Barty to actually want him. He wants to be with someone who wants all of him, is that so selfish?
Peter knows that he made the first move himself. He knows that he was the one who came onto Barty. And he is genuinely into the guy. But the way Barty keeps playing with his feelings hurts.
Barty likes to cuddle with Peter. Barty likes to kiss Peter. Barty likes to spend time with Peter. But he won’t touch him. Barty hasn’t dropped any hints that he would ever like to take it further. If not physically then emotionally. If Barty didn’t have the reputation that he has, Peter could maybe have asked him. “Hey Barty, I know that you probably do this all the time, and it really isn’t anything special to you, but would you like to be my boyfriend?” Yeah, not happening. Not when he already knows the answer.
Barty Crouch Junior fucks anything with a pulse, but not Peter. Because he doesn’t want Peter. He wants him for neither sex nor feelings. And Peter does have feelings.
The jealousy that stings in his hearth when he sees Barty with that blond Ravenclaw girl. When he sees him with Sirius’s younger brother. When Barty smiles at girls that Peter just KNOWS he has had sex with. Sex isn’t everything, it’s not even particularly important to Peter. But when everyone else was good enough for him, why not Peter?
He doesn’t know why Barty bothers to hang out with him, and he doesn’t want to really think about it. Doesn’t want to find some dumb ass reason that would make it feel even less special than it already is. He wants to keep what he can, wants to cradle it close to his hearth, before it, and Barty, are out of reach.
He would do so much for Barty, and that hurts too much.
So he distracts himself by looking after his old crush.
Even though Evan Rosier is even more unreachable than Barty is.
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Regulus looks at himself in the mirror as the hairs fall to the ground around him.
“There are spells for that sort of thing, you know that right?” Gilderoy Skeeter (Lockhart) shouts from his bed, while keeping his eyes buried in some muggle romance novel. “They’re quite simple, I use them all the time.”
There are. Regulus have tried most of them in the past, desperately needing a solution. But they aren’t simple. Not if you want your hair to look real. The spells leave a weird glow on the hair. It makes it smooth. Too smooth, and buttery too. Gilderoy can kind of pull them off because no one has seen him without them. But if you really look at him, you’ll see the uncanniness. And Regulus’s curls get so fucking damaged by the spells, he once almost had to go bald for a while.
Evan roughs Gilderoy’s hair up with one hand, while pulling him to his side with the other. “If you want us out of your dorm Gily you just have to say so.” He says teasingly, letting go as Gilderoy elbows him in the stomach.
“You know that’s not want I meant Rose. I just want to help him, and you could certainly use it too. And a perfume spell too now that we’re at it. Could even make you smell like a real rose.”
Evan threw himself after Gilderoy on the bed, ending up straddled on top of him in perfect tickling position. “You are so in for it now!” His fingers danced over the other boy’s body. “Take it back!”
“NEVER!” Gilderoy laughed as he writhed under Evan on the bed. “You ca- “
“I can’t focus on Reggie when you’re play fighting over there.”
“Oh, come on Pan, you’re done by now anyway, he looks great.” Evan said over his shoulder. Barely even taking a look at Regs new haircut. “Yeah!” Gilderoy says as he glances over. “You look great Regulus, almost as great as me.” He says it so seriously that Regulus can’t help but smile. It might sound mean to other people, but it’s a great compliment coming from Gilderoy Skeeter. “Yeah Reg. you look almost as good Gilderoy and I”
“Oh, shut up Evan, didn’t you have something you wanted to ask Dora anyway?” He said, almost regretting it immediately when he saw the smile glide off of Evans face. “Yeah- Pan you wouldn’t happen to know if Barty is… out sleeping around every night?”
“Eh- no, but he certainly hasn’t been sleeping here for a while.”
“Do you know who he could be spending the nights with?” Evan twirled his thumbs around, not looking like someone really wanting an answer.
“No I don’t re-“
“It could be that Gryffindor he’s hanging around with.” Gilderoy interrupted from under Evan. Regulus frowned, trying to think of any Gryffindor girls he might have seen Barty around. “Could you be a bit more specific?”
Gilderoy softly pushes Evan off of him as he sits up in the bed, his hair magically falling perfectly back into position. “I don’t know his name, but one of the smarter ones. Hangs around with yo- With Sirius Black.”
“HE!?” Evan shot onto his feet.
“LUPIN!?” Regulus was right behind him.
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It happened in the middle of the night. The light in the room was suddenly turned on, and the door banged open, with little to no care for the damage it could have caused to the wall behind it.
Barty awoke with a shock. Missing with his eyes against the sharp light and feeling Peter slowly move around beside him.
“We have to get him help.”
“No, we can deal with it here.”
Barty sat up and faced the intruders. And they noticed him immediately.
They stopped dead in their tracks.
Looked at Barty.
Looked at Peter.
Looked back at Barty.
Before a quiet “Oh what the fuck is this” came out from behind James Potters lips.
James Potter and Sirius Black, carrying a bloody and unconscious Remus lupin between them.
Notes:
Yeah i put Gilderoy Lockhart in my fic, yes I love him, yes i made him Ritas brother because i saw a Tiktok comment about it and thought it was cool.
Also the dorms are multigendered because i just can't be bothered to do it any other way.
Any thoughts on this chapter? I know where I want this story to go and a rough outline of the story, but the details aren't down yets so i'm open to suggestion.
I know that I'm not always the best at engaging with the comment section, but i do really appreaciate you commenters
Chapter 5: Snaky Snares and Spares
Chapter Text
”Was he an asshole?”
Sirius is slung across the bed, his loose hair hanging off the side, spilling onto the floor in an elegant mess. “Who?”, James asks as he removed the outer layers of his robes. Turning his back to Sirius as he goes to hang it up in its place, what turns out to be a mistake.
“OW!”, an elastic hits him in the back of his neck, making direct contact with his bare skin.
”Don’t play smart with me Potty-boy, you know who I’m talking about”, Sirius send him a charming grin as he loads up a new elastic between his fingers. ,,Did he piss himself over having to clean the muggle way?”
“No, he was… Pleasant” James dodges the elastic heading straight for his nose and bends down to take his shoes off. “Keep whatever abominations those are on Potter, or did the little snake make you forget about the cleaning up we agreed to do after the last full moon? Moony is already out there, I was just waiting for you.” Sirius gestures at the dirty shoes he’s wearing on the bed with his hands. “Peter is busy, so it’s just the three of us.”
“He’s been busy a lot lately, haven’t he? Do you think somethings wrong?” James shots a look over at Peters neatly-made and untouched bed. He hasn’t slept there for days. “Or...” He cracks a grin as Sirius throws a jacket on “Do you think he’s found himself a girlfriend? Maybe one of those Hufflepuffs that Marlene is friends with?”
Sirius pulls the invisibility cloak out from under the bed, “He better not be skipping clean-up for a girl, that is so against the bro-code.” And James admittedly doesn’t know a lot about ``bro-code´´ but it would be a bit scummy to leave them with the entire mess for a date.
“Sirius, we don’t need the cloak, we have a hall-pass mate.” James says flashing the enchanted document at his best friend. But Sirius just shrugs and spreads the cloak out anyway. “That’s no fun, and for the record if Peter really is dating anyone, it would be a Ravenclaw.”
He throws the cloak over both of them, and they begin to move through the castle, towards the forest.
It’s quiet in the forest, too quiet. But the three boys don’t take notice of it. Too engulfed in their half-assed cleaning and each other. That’s their main mistake.
If they hadn’t pushed each other in and out of the cloak on their way their way there
If they hadn’t laughed so loudly at a squirrel that decided that Sirius was its enemy number one, and apparently had to throw more than one acorn after him.
If they had checked their surrounding just once, they might have noticed them.
But they didn’t, not until it was too late.
A snap and a crack sound created by a foot stepping on a dry branch is heard to the left of the boys and suddenly the night is lit up in color. Mulciber, a masked up Crabe and Severus Snape jumping out of the bushes and shooting spells of at a high speed, all of them aiming for Remus.
Sirius and James of course try to intervene, and their defensive spells are effective. But the Slytherins have been preparing this attack for days, the curses that they are casting are more dangerous than any of them are used to.
Remus is bloody and unconscious on the ground before James finally manages to chase the attackers off, and Sirius has burn marks up and down his left leg.
“We need to get him inside right now.” Sirius says, while checking Remus´s thankfully steady pulse. “Can you walk?” James glances at Sirius's ruined pant leg and the angry red color of the skin sticking out of the holes.
Sirius nods, but as the two boys string Remus up between them, he tries his best to keep his weight off his injured leg. James tries his best to ignore the muffled cries when he fails.
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“How does something like that even happen?” Evan and Regulus are back in their dorm, the realization that Barty has been fooling around with Remus Lupin still sitting deep in both of them.“ “I mean he is hot I can see that you know? But when did they start interacting? When did they ever have a chance to get to know each other like that without me noticing?” Okay, maybe it bothered Evan a slight bit more than it did Regulus.
Evan has been rambling himself around in circles for almost an hour straight. The conversation goes from: Where did they meet - to - When did they meet - to - How did they meet - to - Acknowledging that Remus is quite easy on the eyes - to - BARTY IS GAY - to - How didn’t he notice - to - Did everyone else know - and then back - to - Where did they meet. Regulus had been an active participant for the first two-three rounds of spiraling, but suddenly sunk into a deep speculative silence. Evan is so out of it that he doesn’t even notice that he’s talking to himself.
“Do you think they hold hands? What am I on about of course they hold hands, they’ve probably had their hands all over each other. Oh God, They’re surely together right now. Do you think they meet through being paired in class? What classes do Ravenclaw and Gryffindor even have together? There’s herbology, but Barty does herbology homework with me, or he at least used to, he would have told me if they were doing groupwo-“
Regulus stands up from the less than comfortable position he has been sitting in on the floor. Trying to tune out Evans voice as he reaches for one of his smaller boxes. He carefully removes letter after letter from the little box, until almost all of the old letters from his parents, Barty, Evan and Pan are lying on the table. Only five letters remain.
Letters that Regulus used to read again and again every night. First at home, then later at Hogwarts. He hasn’t touched them in years, and the tear stains that haunted the papers has long faded. But it feels like yesterday. Regulus remembers everything in those letters. Every story, lie and comma misplacement. He just has to check.
“Regulus.” Evan is looking at him with tears in his eyes threatening to fall. Regulus has never seen Evan cry before.
“Yes Evan?” He replies softly.
“You didn’t know, did you? You didn’t know he was… gay?” Evan seems to struggle with getting the last part out. Regulus sighs, before running a hand through his hair. “No Evan I didn’t know that.” The relief that rushes through Evan shakes him to an almost visible degree.
“So it wasn’t just me, it isn’t that he’s scared to tell me.”
“Of course it isn’t, you’d stick with that idiot through thick and thin. If he can’t see that then he’s dumber than I thought.” Regulus cast his eyes back on the five letters, the five letters that Siri had written to him before it all fell apart. “But Evan… Can you keep a secret?” He reaches for one of the envelopes. One that had always served to annoy Regulus. He had been at home; he had been waiting for a letter from his brother for so long. Only to have the entire thing be an extremely detailed description of Siri’s new friends.
“You know I can.”
“I think Sirius is in love with Lupin.” Evan completely freezes up on the bed. “I think he has had a crush on that bloke since first year.”
“Oh.”
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An uncomfortable silence spreads through the room as Sirius and James moves Remus onto the couch. The couch that Peter and Barty awkwardly had stumbled of off, almost tripping over each other in the process. The two now standing in the corner, keeping a distance from the other boys, while avoiding touching one another.
At some point some bandages, napkins and some burn-cream had appeared out of nowhere. It’ll be good enough for the physical damage, but most of Remus’s injuries are magical and internal. It’s relatively easy to ignore the elephant in the room while the boys wrap Remus and Sirius's wounds up, but as soon as they’re done there’s not really anything to do but stare out into the room.
Several times people in the room begins making a move to say something, but it mainly just ends up as an awkward cough or a foot slowly dragging along the stone floor.
Barty feels out of place, so does everyone else but they’re at least friends, Barty has never talked to James and Sirius in his life. To be honest, being this physically close to Sirius Black is extremely weird. He used to have violent fantasies about the older boy.
He hadn’t really known Regulus before it happened. One day Barty just slided into a hallway closet to hide from the world for a bit, and there was Regulus bloody Black, hyperventilating on the floor. He had attempted to comfort him, Regulus being so out of it had told him the whole story. Every little detail. No one else knew back then, not even Evan. From that day on they were best friends. From that day on he had hated anyone that had anything to do with the Black family.
It was faded by now. As Regulus had gotten more comfortable in his own body and mind, Barty had found himself thinking less about violence and more about a verbal confrontation. Even though Regulus has assured him time and time again that he is okay, and that he doesn't blame Sirius for leaving him at all. Sometimes it feels like he feels stronger about the whole ordeal than Reg does.
But now standing across from the boy, he mainly just feels awkward and scared. This boy knows that he’s gay. This boy could effortlessly ruin him. This boy could rip Peter apart.
“I- I can explain all o-“
“Peter it’s-“
Sirius and Peter breaks the silence at the exact same time.
“You can go first… if you want to?” Peter stumbles over the words while motioning with his hands.
“Maybe it would be better if…” Sirius shoots a glance over at Barty “He would leave for the night.”
“You can’t jus-“ Barty breaks in, but halts as Peter grips his lower arm, squeezing tight. “Barty please just leave.” Barty wants to refuse. He doesn’t want Peter to stand alone in a situation like this, but he relents at the begging look in Peters eyes.
And before Barty knows it, he is standing outside in the cold dark hallway.
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“Peter what the fuck was that?” James is pacing around the room, hand unconsciously going through his hair again and again. “Why were you here spending time cuddled up with some Ravenclaw guy while the rest of us were out there fighting for our lives!?”
“I don’t even know what ha-“
“You’re right, you don’t, because you weren’t there.” Peter flinches back at Jame’s words. He has seen him angry before, but never like this, it has never been directed at him. “I mean who even is that guy? Is this what you’ve been doing lately?” James gets all up in Peters face. “Disappearing to warm some boys bed?”
“James!” Sirius attempts to angle himself in-between the two others. “You’re tired and agitated and you’re taking it out on Wormtail for no reason. It’s not his fault, you need to take a breather.”
The look of offence on Jame’s face would be funny if it wasn’t all so serious. “I don’t ne-“
“You do” Sirius places a finger in James’s chest. Like he’s scolding some unfaithful husband. “You are going to go up to the dorm, you are going to lay down, think about what you’ve said, and when me and Tail come up later, you are going to apologize to him.”
“But-“
“No buts, out” Sirius stares James down with a very disapproving look, while he shamefully shuffles out. The sound of the door slamming behind him could have made an elderly person go into shock.
“Sirius I’m so sorry for not being there.” Peter immediately blurts out, the anxiety leaking out of his body.
“Mate” Sirius says as he sits down on the couch next to - a better looking than before - Remus. “You skipped clean-up for a date, it’s not like I’ve never done anything like that before. I love Prongs, he’s basically my brother, but he shouldn’t have said those things to you. And he didn’t mean it, he fucking cares so so much about you Peter, you know that right? He’s not mad at you at all, he’s probably in his bed soaking in regret already. He’s just completely out off it.”
Peter has a hard time believing that James isn’t mad at him at all, but he’s not going to start ripping deeper into it before he finds out why one of his best friends is laying injured on a couch. “What happened out there today Pad?” He asks throwing a look at the angry red color on Sirius’s leg.
“We got ambushed by some slimy ass Slytherins in the wood.” A stormy look crosses over his face. “Snape, Mulciber and some third guy wearing a mask. They were clearly targeting Moony, but I can’t figure out why. Surely me and Prongs have been more annoying to them.”
“Did they hit him with anything too bad?” He looks down at Remus, his hand moving to clear the hair out of Remus’s face by itself. “You don’t think they know, do you?”
“There’s no way that they know what he is.” The words coming out of Sirius’s mouth are clearly supposed to sound confident, but an insecure undertone in his voice is seeping through. “And he’ll be fine, he managed to dodge most of their shit. But they were shooting some really nasty stuff after us out there, like spells that shouldn’t even be legal. I swear some of them were self-made, scared the shit out me. It scared James too. That’s why he got so pissed with you, he is just so fucking scared man.”
Peter has never seen ever seen James scared before. Logically he knows that everyone feels fear, but the thought of James Potter being terrified sends a cold feeling through his body. James Potter is the bravest person he has ever met.
“But Peter?” A mischievous look blinks in Sirius’s eyes as he taps the empty space on the couch next to him, signaling for Peter to take a seat. “Why don’t you get over here and tell me about your Ravenclaw boyfriend?”
Peter sighs but places himself on the ugly couch anyway. “He’s not even my boyfriend.”
“Oh, fucking what now.”
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Barty had arrived in Evan and Regulus’s shared dorm in the middle of night. He had been moving silently, clearly trying to avoid waking the two others, but Evan is a light sleeper.
He doesn’t react as Barty plunks down next to him on the bed. Like it’s something normal that he does often. They haven’t spoken more than a few words to each other in days. Evan squeezes his eyes together and tries to make his breathing seem heavy and even. Waiting 10-15 minutes till Barty starts lightly snoring, then he gets up, he simply can’t stay.
Wandering the halls at night is oddly therapeutic. The silence in the huge spaces normally occupied by hundreds of students that are now empty. It feels as though it was all built just for him. Like he’s all alone in the world, with no one there who might have the ability to hurt him.
But he’s not.
He hears the footsteps of someone approaching on the cold stone floor. Frantically he scouts the hallway he's in for a decent hiding place, not wanting to get caught by a teacher or the school inspector. But the hallway is completely void of any decorations big enough for Evan to hide behind, and if he starts running now it’ll be very loud.
Mentally he prepares himself to lie. He tries to come up with something at least passable, but a bulletproof story is hard to come up with in ten seconds. He can feel the weight of the incoming detention wearing down on him already.
But the person rounding the corner isn’t an adult.
It’s some blond Gryffindor.
Notes:
Remember when this was in any way about Herbology lol.
WE BROKE 10.000 words WUHUU
They are all so stupid.
Anyway Peter is finally meeting Evan in the next chapther, whos exited!!!?
Chapter 6: A boy on the floor
Notes:
Holy fuck we hit 1000 hits, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Mate what do you mean he’s not your boyfriend!? Isn’t he the one you’ve been sneaking off with every night all week? Or do you have more than one, because that’s totally okay, I don’t judge, I just didn’t really expect that from you.”
“Sirius, no it’s not that. He is the only one but I just… I don’t think he likes me like that.” Peter said while keeping his eyes glued to the wooden floorboards.
“But you like him? Like, like like him, right?” Sirius placed his hand on Peters shoulder. “Because I know that I’ve only seen the two of you together briefly today, but in my expert opinion that boy is more than just a little interested in you Tail.”
“Oh, and you’re an expert now, don’t make me laugh I see the way you stumble over your own feet around Moony.”
“That’s a completely different situation, and I will not stand for this slander.” Sirius said as he put on a fake offended expression. “He was being protective over you earlier mate. He didn’t want to leave you alone with the big bad Sirius Black, and don’t pretend like we didn’t walk in on you two almost getting it on, on this couch.” A horrified look passed over Sirius’s face. “Oh god, we are not sitting in you guys’ old sweat and cum are we!? Peter seriously, tell me you guys clean this thing whenever you’ve done it.”
Peter’s expression dropped deeper than it already was. “Sirius, we haven’t shagged at all.”
“Like not even once? How long have you been seeing each other?”
A mix between a sigh and a wounded sound left Peter as he leaned back into the soft cushions of the couch. “Not once. We’ve been hanging out since like a week after that big herbology test, Barty did really bad on it, like worse than you, so I started to tutor him and then I made a move on him, and he seemed to take it well. But I don’t think he want’s anything more with me.” Peter turned around to get eye contact with Sirius. “He’s been known to fuck anything that moves Pad, but he just won’t touch me.”
“If that boy doesn’t want you then he has got to be the dumbest Ravenclaw I’ve ever met. I think you should talk to him about it, as soon as possible.” He gently puts his arm around the other boy.
“I’m just…” Peter was shaking slightly, eyes wet with unshed tears. “I just don’t want to lose what we have right now. It might not be full relationship, we might not be exclusive, but I still want it all so bad. Every second that he isn’t with me feels like I’m walking around in some sort of haze. It feels like I’m in the most wonderful dream and then boom I’m just back to plain old reality. Lately, it seems like all I do is wait for the next time I’ll see him. Whenever he shows up to our pre-planned meeting it’s like I’m high on Liquid Luck. Just a passing glimpse of him in the hallway can make my entire day feel so fulfilling. And when we kiss, god, it’s like an explosion, here” He covers his hearth with his palm. “I can’t just give that up Pad, I can’t let my own greed ruin that. I would let him string me along forever Pad, I’ve never felt anything remotely close to this before. No one has ever made me feel this complete.”
“Mate” Sirius sighed. “I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but what you’re describing isn’t entirely… healthy. I get that you’re scared of losing what you have, trust me I get it but you-“
“You don’t get it though. Yeah, sure you’ve might have had an unrequited crush here and there, and your current obsession with Moony really is sad. But you’re Sirius bloody Black, you have people falling at your feet with love confessions on the regular, you could never understand what It’s like to be me.” Peter snarled in a sudden wave of frustration and anger.
“Wormtai-“
“No, I’m sorry. I’ll apologize tomorrow, I promise. But I think I need to be alone right now.” And with that Peter just straight up left, leaving Sirius alone with an unconscious Remus.
“Man, what is up with people today.”
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Evan could have the most fucked up love life in the world and Regulus would still need to do his homework. Even though one day for a 5-page essay on ,,Creation of artificial ancient magical runes” is extreme and definitely not okay for a teacher to assign.
He knew that most of the other students wouldn’t even be attempting to complete it. Most would take a bad grade in Ancient runes with a shrug. Others would probably be using Quick-quotes quills, even though they are sloppy and incredibly imprecise. Regulus was one of the only students that actually cared about his grades in ancient runes. Not because he needs it in the future, but he is heir Black, he has to do well.
The fireplace is well stocked with wooden branches and the flames are happily licking the sides in an lively and almost childish manner. Regulus has once again taken to claiming his favorite green chair in a partly hidden corner. He’s the only living soul in room, the rest emptied out after the sharp pointer in the big clock on the wall had seemed to shift from a walk to a sprint. Normally the essay would be done by now, five pages be damned, Regulus is a fast writer. But the thing with Evan, Barty and freaking Remus Lupin keeps popping up in his mind and distracting him.
They had decided not to confront Barty about it. He’ll come to them when he’s ready, and he will be, soon, eventually.
While the thought of Barty fooling around with a boy that Sirius is not only close to, but a boy that Sirius likes, for some reason deeply bothers him, it really isn’t any of his business. So, he tries his best to ignore it, ignore the thoughts about his older brother, ignore Evans foul mood and for all that is goods sake, ignore the fact that his friend is running around kissing someone who might have shared spit with Siri.
Magical runes are boring, but they’re also consistent in a very comforting way. No part of the subject relies on luck or chance, there’s no trial and error, only memorization and long dragged-out translations. In that way it’s one of the better subjects to use to take his minds of off things.
A shame that there always have to be distractions.
“Did you see his face!? He was horrified! I haven’t felt this alive in years!”
“Oh, we got them good alright, should teach them not to associate themselves with creatures like that.”
“I still can’t believe that they’re allowing its presence at school. Beasts like that should be put down immediately when found out.”
The voices coming from 3 boys broke the silence in the Slytherin common room. The group had clearly been out on a nightly adventure, the kind of adventure that Regulus assumes hasn’t been pre-approved of by a teacher.
Regulus tried to prevent himself from releasing a sigh, some of the younger kids could be so stupid. They had probably been out in the forbidden forest all night hunting some poor centaur. Yeah, it’s a shame that they act that way, and Regulus does feel bad for the conscious creatures living in those woods, but it’s not something that he’s ready to confront anyone about.
“And they’re pureblood too, the fact that there are purebloods willing to put themselves at risk for monsters like that is almost the worst part. Fucking blood traitors.” A deep familiar voice continued.
“One of them hit me right in the armpit with some stupid light spell.” Said a slightly whiny voice, “I swear their refusal to use anything darker than expelliarmus will be the downfall of those Gryffindor twats.”
“They were throwing other stuff too. Just because your eyes don’t really work from behind that hideous mask you insist on wearing. I personally had to dodge some really nasty curses.” Throwing around insults in the dead of night was in Regulus’s humble opinion not a very good idea, but the boy behind the voice clearly lacked fear if the confidently mocking tone was anything to go off.
“What would you know about nasty spells, are you even capable of casting any dark spells, you are, when it comes down to it, just a dirty half-blood.” The whiny voice shifted into a deeper and louder tone as the 3 boys were making their way up the stairs to, what Regulus assumes is their dorm.
“Avery, put the wand down. I’m tired we can have this discussion tomorrow.” The deeper voice told Avery, Regulus had to blame the fact that he didn’t recognize Avery’s voice immediately on his lack of sleep, but in the end it didn’t really matter. The two mystery boys and Avery disappeared into their rooms and Regulus shifted his focus back onto his homework, almost completely forgetting the incident by dawn.
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The blond Gryffindor is walking fast and is seemingly unfocused in his movements. He is breathing hard like he has been running, and his hands are shaking as he tries to dry them off on his robes. The other boy clearly doesn’t take notice of Evans presence as he blinkes the fluid out of his eyes. Oh, he’s crying.
In a weird moment Evan realizes that he has, honest to god, never seen a Gryffindor cry before. He shouldn’t care, he really shouldn’t. He should cross to the side of the hallway furthest away from the strange boy and keep walking. But he doesn’t, he is, when it comes down to it, Pandoras brother.
He instead walks up to the boy and awkwardly reaches out to hold him in his arms. A look of surprise, confusion, and then acceptance flashes upon the Gryffindor’s face as he lets himself drop into Evans embrace, Evan not being able to handle their combined weight quickly opting for sitting them down onto the floor.
“Hey there man…” He said as he awkwardly tapped the crying boy on the back. “I’m sure it’s going to be fine. Or maybe not. I don’t know. But you probably shouldn’t be out here crying about it all on your own, how about I help you find your way back up to Gryffindor tower? How does that sound?” He knew that his tone was slightly condecending but he really did try to push it back.
A choked sound escaped the boy as he dug his face deeper into Evans robe while quickly shaking his head side to side. “… you don’t want to go?- Eh okay sure, but don’t you have like a friend or something that I could get for you? I’m not really the best at… this.” Evan somehow wrestled his hand out of the Gryffindor’s tight locked grip, throwing it around in the air, trying to signal what he means, but the other boy just keeps shaking his head. “No one? Not even a teacher or something, I’ve heard that the head of your house is quite kind when it comes down to it.”
“No.”
“Oh, he does speak, not but seriously even if you don’t want me to get anyone, we should probably still move this whole panic attack or whatever is going on to a more comfortable setting.” Letting out an uneasy laugh Evan starts trying to subtly lift both of their body’s up from the cold floor. “We could go outside; would you enjoy that? The weather is pretty good today we could like maybe…” Coming up with something that other people would actually enjoy wasn’t really Evans strong side. Personally, if he was on his own looking for some fun outside while not entering the forbidden forest, he would have broken into the school greenhouses. They had lots of interesting plants in there that Evan would sell a kidney to get a closer look at, but other people aren’t as plant obsessed as him, so he settles for the next best thing. “Go to the flower field behind the quidditch-broom shed?”
The other boy finally begun to support his own weight, standing wobbly on his legs the shaking shifted to a nod. Evan mistakenly determining that he could now completely let go of the boy attempted to take a step away, but in the blink of an eye the Gryffindor latches onto his hand. And so they go, hand in hand, painfully awkward silence, to the flower field. Evan questioning why he’s even doing this in the first-place multiple times along the way.
The flowers standing in a magic induced early bloom gave the scenery a comforting summerly feel. But even though the weather is quite nice Evan still felt a chill run through his body as he takes off his outer robes and spreads them out on the ground for them to sit on.
“So…” he said, dropping himself down onto his robes, lightly tapping the space beside him until the other boy finally took his place. “What’s your favorite quidditch team?”
A snort escaped mystery boy, who clearly did not see that question coming “Seriously? I have just had a panic attack in the middle of the hallway and that’s what you ask me?”
Evan shrugged and turned his head away to hide a faint shy smile “I just figured you would want to take your mind off of whatever made you feel like… that? I mean if you want to talk about it, we can totally do that too, but I’m a complete stranger to you so I just thought that you might not really want to do that.” He was rambling again, he found himself doing that often lately.
An almost… comfortable silence weighed down on the boys as they took in the wide array of colorful flowers, magically enchanted to bloom earlier and longer than normal, a practice that Evan had always found a bit distasteful. I felt as though the magic was holding the flowers captive, flowers that had decided to grace them with their beauty for a short while, forced to halt in their development purely for the enjoyment of humans.
“I think I want to tell you about something else, if that’s okay” The other boy’s voice bringing Evan out of his haze. “I…eh” The boy leaned slightly back, supporting the upper part of his body on his elbows. “I have this friend.”
Evan nodded in understanding; friends could be difficult.
“And he has been seeing this other boy for a while now.” The Gryffindor halted to excess Evans reaction, but when no outright disgust at the mention of homosexuality appeared he continued. “And I think he might be in love. But this other guy isn’t into him like that, he just wants to cuddle, and he is also almost certainly seeing other people at the same time. He’s a bit of a celebrity in the romance department and my friend is very new to all that stuff, I don’t really know how I could help them.” The boy casts a hopeful glance at Evan.
“Not to disappoint your mate, but my relationship experience is not up to date either, do they share a dorm? Cross dating between houses is less likely to work out but in-house dating causes extremely awkward break-ups, that’s kinda all I know, sorry.”
“They don’t, his lover is a Ravenclaw, do you think they should stop seeing each other?” The boy’s gaze was mournful as he fiddled with his shirt. “I’m sorry to be bothering you about all of this, I know how pathetic it sounds.” The boy did a fake chuckle and turned his head to look at Evan. “Oh shit, are you cold!?”
Evan took a look down at himself, noticing the small goosebumps running up and down his arms as the cold breeze hit them. “Yeah, I guess I am. We should… probably head inside then.” He stood up and stuck a hand down to assist the strange Gryffindor. “But for the record I think they should talk about it first. If your mate is really in love with the bloke then they need to at least try, awkward as it might be.”
The Gryffindor smiled and took his hand. “Thanks… I’ll tell him that.” The smile fell as he realized that he was standing on Evans outer robes, that they had been using as a picnic blanket, with his muddy shoes. He quickly sidestepped, hand slipping out of Evans grip. “I’m so sorry, I can wash them for you if you’ll like.”
“You really don’t have to; they were dirty from laying on the ground anyway.”
The other boy bent down to pick the robes up from the ground. “No, I insist. My mom has taught me this spell that’ll keep them clean for ages, it’s the least I can do after high-jacking your evening like this. You can wear mine on the way back to the castle, you shouldn’t walk around bare armed in this weather, I can’t let my savior catch a cold, can I?”
“I mean I don’t know about savi-“But the other boy had already taken his outer layer off and was now handing it to Evan. And it was cold.
“I’ll return your robes to you as soon as possible I promise.” He said as he basically pushed his robes into Evan’s arms.
“You really don’t have to rush, I have extras back in my dorm, mister…?”
“Peter” Peter stuck his hand out for Evan to shake as if they had only first met.
“I’m Evan, nice to meet you, Peter.”
That night Evan walked home clad in Gryffindor robes.
Notes:
Early chapther this month, i wrote most of it last month because I'll be very busy in June as i am finally going home!!
So i have to pack all my stuff and say goodbye to wonderful Austria wich is a bit sad but I haven't seen my family in 10 months so im very excited.
I feel so awkward whenever i write dialouge lol
Thank you so much for reading this story <3
Chapter Text
He had spent longer than he dared to admit observing his own appearance in the mirror that morning. He had gotten up an hour earlier, just to make sure he had the proper time to prepare himself. He was no longer going to hide in the shadows. He would no longer be a fly on James Potters wall. He had decided that he would approach the other boy today.
He was going to eat breakfast as if everything was normal, but he would discreetly keep an eye on Potter. Once Potter gets up to leave, he will do the same. Somehow, he’ll then cut Potter off from his friends without them noticing, thus getting him alone. Simple plan.
Even simpler in execution.
It went way better than Regulus expected.
The going to breakfast part went just fine. Although the air around the Gryffindor group did seem a bit more dulled down than normally. He couldn’t put his finger on it but something about the three boys - because Lupin weren’t even there - just seemed wrong.
Siri who their mother would often scold for eating to quickly was suddenly chewing slower than a regular person. The blonde had barely touched his food, and James Potter who normally took his sweet time enjoying the wide array of foods served at Hogwarts, was shoveling down barefaced bread like he couldn’t stand to sit at the table for longer than necessary.
Yup definitely something wrong with them.
Regulus had ended up sitting at the edge of the Slytherin table, near the door. It wasn’t his usual spot, but Evan had apparently decided to sleep his heartbreak out because despite Regulus’s best efforts to get him up that morning, the blonde had just kept snoring, so there was no one there really paying attention to where he was sat anyway.
The corner was an optimal position for the plan. The Gryffindor trio sat at the far end of their table, furthest away from the door, so Regulus would see them get up and still have enough time to pack his own stuff together and prepare for the separation.
In the end he didn’t need to separate them at all.
They managed that just fine on their own. James got up way before the others, Regulus could vaguely see him muttering a goodbye to his friends, before he left the great hall all alone. Just perfect for Regulus.
He quickly gathered his stuff together and followed the other boy at a close but discreet distance.
As soon as they left the crowded hallways surrounding the main hall Regulus lets himself catch up to James, syncing up their steps as he takes a place by his side.
“When is your next quidditch game?” He quickly spits out, not ready to admit how long it had taken him to settle on that mundane opening line. Merlin, he had spent hours the night before trying to come up with something more unique, more interesting. But every sentence he had been able to form in his tired and nervous brain had either been too nerdy or just flat out weird. And hey, quidditch is an interest that Reg is sure that they share.
James body does a little involuntary jump, clearly just now noticing the pale French boy at his side. “Er..., yeah it’s next week.” He says, completely lacking all of his normal Gryffindor confidence. “On Saturday. It’s against Hufflepuff.” He straightens his back and shoots Regulus a white grin. “Why you want to come see me win?” And the Lions charm is suddenly turned back to normal.
Regulus shyly smiles back. “You reckon you’ll win? Please Potter, the badgers are going to claw those big brown eyes of yours right out.” The words left his mouth with more attitude than he at the moment felt capable of.
James quirked an eyebrow up. “Oh yeah? You want to bet on that baby Black?”
“Maybe I do.” They had stopped walking somewhere in the middle of the conversation, halting in front of a huge slightly light-blue tinted widow. The sun had long risen over the treetops and if you looked down you could see an odd student here and there walking the school grounds, the distance making them look like tiny ants. Fully insignificant.
“If we lose to Hufflepuff I’ll do all your homework for an entire month. Does that sound okay?” James asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Regulus slowly nods, not bothering with bargaining for a potentially better price, as he dosen't really believe that Gryffindor would ever lose to Hufflepuff.
“And when we win, what do I get then?” The Gryffindor slightly tilted his head to the side, unconsciously baring the skin of his neck. “When, huh?” Reg pushed himself up onto the window still. “Very confident Potter, I’ll give you that.” He twirled a lock of his dark hair around with his pointy finger. “If that happens, I’ll just owe you a favor.”
James grinned “deal”
Regulus tried to minimalize his blushing as they shook hands.
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Evan felt like all of the lessons suddenly took way longer than they used to. The teachers were talking slower and only ever about boring subjects. His classmates were always disturbing, and not in a funny way that he could at least laugh about. No, the world was too annoying and stupid for him to enjoy anything at all, much less laugh about the mundane jokes of teenagers.
Except for those few moments.
Gilderoy Skeeter would say something obscenely ridiculous that Evan found frustrating, then Peter would walk past them in the hallway and suddenly everything was so colorful. The old moldy walls were charming, the constant stares from the paintings endearing instead of almost outright creepy, Gilderoy was a comedic genius and so on.
He had truly never felt like this before, not even with Barty. Barty who he knew he had a crush on, he knows he has a crush on, it’s just not the same. Maybe it’s because his feelings for Peter are fresh and new, maybe it’s because he has gotten used to being around Barty in a friendly way or maybe It’s because Evan for the first time in his life feels like someone might return his feelings.
Him and Barty could laugh and cuddle as much as they wanted to, which, at least in Evans case was a lot, but the thought that it simply didn’t matter as much to the Ravenclaw would always be in the back of Evans mind, haunting him like the Bloody Baron would haunt a terrified first year.
Sure, he didn’t know if Peter liked him back or not. He didn’t even know whether or not Peter liked boys, but the chances of actually getting into a relationship with the Gryffindor still felt much better than it ever had with Barty. Even though Peter was a damned Gryffindor, what would create a few issues in the long run, but nothing Evans family connections couldn’t solve.
Peter could really make him feel like he was high on unicorn blood. But that didn’t take away from the emotional wounds Barty unknowingly had left on him.
Barty who still barely talked to him.
But it wasn’t enough that Barty had a boyfriend, no no, Barty also had to have goddamn problems in his relationship.
It wasn’t something he had been told, because again, Barty barely talked to him at all, much less about the secret love of his life. But Evan isn’t blind, and he has enough experience with heartbreak to be able to recognize the signs.
Barty had started sleeping in his own dorm again. Alone. He walks around with his head down and a hand on his wand like he’s constantly afraid that someone is going to attack him. He has started hanging more out with the other Ravenclaws, more than he has ever done before. And the most damning piece of evidence that Evan was able to make out; Barty and Remus Lupin never looked at each other.
Yes, the thing that the two of them has going on is supposed to be a secret. But come on, not even a single little smile? They clearly weren’t happy with each other at the moment, and Evan might be heartbroken and extremely jealous of the admittedly attractive Gryffindor. But whether he wants to or not, he is Bartys best friend and he would rather subject himself to the torture that is seeing Barty in love with someone else than know that his friend is suffering when he can help him.
Because he can help.
Of course he can. Evan had already crafted an overly complicated plan when he realized how simple it all really could be.
He had been sitting by himself, contemplating whether using Amortentia to assist a friend was too unethical (and time consuming), when Peter had brightened his day by walking past him and sending him a shy smile. His own genius nearly blew him away when he noticed it. To Peters left walked none other than Remus bloody Lupin, and suddenly Evan knew just how to fix all of Bartys problems.
Because suddenly he knew exactly what all of Barty’s problems where. Peters’ friend who wasn’t sure his Ravenclaw partner liked him back was of course Remus Lupin. It all made so much sense, all Evan has to do is make sure that the two of them talk it out with each other.
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Barty hasn't really talked with Peter in while. Yeah, they still smile at each other, and it's not like Peter has really signaled to him that he wants to stop seeing Barty, but he also hasn't not signaled it.
The Gryffindor friend group doesn't look split up, they are still together basically all the time, but they lack the dynamic that has helped set them apart from every other little clique in the school. The thing that sometimes makes them seem more like a family and less like a friend group. Barty assumes that it's his fault, and he assumes that Peter might dislike (perhaps even hate) him for it. He knows that he for sure wouldn’t be okay with anyone coming between his bonds with Evan and Regulus.
If someone was threatening his ties with his friends, he would never hesitate to cut them out of his life. Even if it was someone that he cared deeply about. If, let’s say Evan, ever told him to choose between him or literally any other person, Barty would pick Evan every time. Even if Evans reasoning was stupid.
It’s only fair if Peter has done the same. But fuck does it hurt.
They have spoken with each other, in Herbology. But that was just Peter asking Barty to pass him a pair of gloves. Barty knows that he should probably reach out, just to at least get the clearance that he deserves. But that would hurt. Hurt more than just pretending that it’s just an awkward faze. That Peter haven’t actually broken up with him.
The first few nights he slept in the room of requirement hoping that a certain Gryffindor might make an appearance. No one came. After that he returned to his dorm. The soft bed that he has spent years sleeping on every night suddenly feeling like a strangers.
He got invited along to a bunch of stuff. His roommates trying to cheer him up while pretending not to notice that anything is wrong. They can see it too, he knows, they can see how he misses his lover. Their concern makes them refuse to leave him alone for longer periods of time, which Barty doesn't know if he appreciates. The few moments where he gets the time to be alone, he just feels empty, but when he’s with them he feels fake.
Most of them aren’t his real friends. Sure, they’re nice to be around and all, but the constant surveillance is keeping him away from other people that he might actually enjoy spending his time with. When was the last time, he saw the Slytherins? Not recently. He wants to make plans with them again, but the Ravenclaws keep taking up all of his time, and they’re just so unbelievably hard to say no to.
Or is that just an excuse?
He could tell his Ravenclaw mates that he has made other plans any time. It might even make them happy to see him leaving his bubble for a bit. But no, he’s too… nervous?
He is too nervous to make plans with his own best friends, oh god, what has become of him.
Notes:
Don't ask me about how much time has wen't by in the story, i genuenly have no clue atp *cries*
I FINNALLY GOT GOME!!!
I am going to miss Austria tho.This chapther might be kinda stressed, i was scared that i wouldn't have enough time to complete it as i am going on vacation with my family and it is whitout electronics *rip*
It's done tho, so thats that.
I really hope you guys enjoyed it and that you'll have a great summer!!
Chapter 8: Throw it all
Notes:
Almost wasn't able to find the time to write this lol. But enjoy!!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The match went exactly as Regulus had expected, Gryffindor won by A LOT. Crushing Hufflepuff with so many points that it wouldn’t even have mattered if the players in the yellow jerseys had caught the Golden Snitch, they would have lost the match anyway.
They didn’t catch the Snitch, the Gryffindor seeker clumsily catching it and putting an end to the game. Regulus had heard the Gryffindor power play being described as “The game of the year” by some of the other students. He silently disagreed. What’s so fun about watching a game where one of the teams are that dominant. No, two equal teams going up against each other would have been endlessly more exiting, but he couldn’t deny that watching James Potter effortlessly place the Quaffle in the Hufflepuff rings again and again was quite hypnotizing.
Waiting straight outside of the Gryffindor changing room seemed a bit too risky for Regulus. So, even though he wanted to see James as soon as possible, a strange sort of dependency on the boy slowly creeping up in him, he chooses to stand behind a tree a few feet away from the door.
He could see every single one of the joyful Gryffindors coming and leaving. If he really concentrated, he was able to listen in on their conversation about the celebration party that they were planning for later that day.
A huge group left together. James was not among them, a smiling Sirius half hanging of off Remus Lupin's shoulder while talking rabidly with a shorter blonde boy. He waited for about 15 minutes longer. The occasional players dripping out of the door, before it finally slowed all the way down to a stop, the grounds around the Quidditch pitch going quiet.
Regulus has been taught strict patience by his mother from a young age. But he has also been taught to always be on time. And even though the curly haired Gryffindor doesn't know that Regulus is waiting for him, he is still running late.
So, the Slytherin riskes it.
He marched up to the door and knocked hard three times, the same way that Evan always does when he wants something urgently. He wants something urgently.
No one answers the door, so he picks up every bit of bravery in his body and push the wooden obstacle out of the way in one strong push.
The room is empty safe for the puddles of water on the floor. The occasional one a bit more yellow than the others. Ew. He jumps over the puddles and turns the corner to check the blind spot that he usually changes in himself after Quidditch practice.
Bingo
James Potters hair is damp and more unruly than usual. The occasional drop of water dripping down onto his bare torso. Regulus is not staring. Only a creep would silently stare at a half-naked man in a locker room, and Regulus is not a creep. The very rational annoyance that he feels at the low-waisted red leather pants hanging from the boy’s hips is only because they are red. Hause pride and all that.
“I guess I owe you a favor now Potter.” He leans his back against the wall, trying to look cool but feeling incredibly silly.
To be fair James looks pretty silly himself. Doing a silly little jump and looking close to falling over at the initial spook. “Ah-“ He adjusts his glasses as he attemps to quickly collect himself. “Yeah, I guess you do, although I haven’t really figured out what yet.”
Regulus takes a step closer to the other boy. “I think I’ve got an idea for you.” Making sure to place himself just outside of James’s space.
“Oh, you do, do you?” James said, clearly catching on quick. “What kind of great ideas run through that pretty head of yours?” Potter takes half-a-step and suddenly they are standing very close, nose tips almost touching. If Regulus had the time, he could have counted the small stubble hairs decorating the brown boy’s chin.
But he doesn't have the time for that at all, as he feels himself lift his arms over James Potter’s neck and slightly pulling down, James lets his face get dragged towards Regulus’s without any complains.
And suddenly their lips are locked together.
Suddenly he is kissing a half-naked James Potter in an empty locker room, and nothing has ever felt more right.
Regulus smiles into the kiss, he can't help but let out a little giggle as their lips parts, even though he was reluctant about ending the kiss. James was seemingly not happy about it either, as they hadn’t been apart for more than a few seconds before he smashes their lips together again, bringing Regulus into a deeper kiss than before.
They ended up spending a lot of time in that locker room.
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Barty doesn't know how he’d ended up here. Okay, so he does know. Evan had asked to meet him here for some Herbology practice. But Evan isn't in the small, abandoned classroom that clearly hasn't been in use since the dark ages. It's just Barty.
Just Barty Crouch and Remus bloody Lupin.
“Peter wrote me a note saying that you requested me to help you with some Herbology stuff.” The boy says, raising an eyebrow. “I was quite surprised. Don’t get me wrong I am more than decent at Herbology, but I don’t believe we’ve ever really spoken before. Besides I thought Peter was your Herbology tutor, and he is top of the class in the subject.”
“Peter wrote you what!?”
“That you need Herbology help? Is that not correct?” The scarred brunette scratches his neck, looking slightly confused.
“No!!” Barty exclaimes “I mean yes I do need help, but not from you. I have two tutors already I do not need a third”
Remus closes the book ,,Edible herbs and where to find them’’ that he has lying in front of him with a careful blast of wandless magic. “That’s all clear with me then, to be honest I didn’t really have the time to help you out anyway.” He gatheres his stuff in a bag that definitely wouldn’t have fit all of those books without some sort of shrinking magic. “I don’t know how this misunderstanding occurred, but I’ll tell Peter that you didn’t require my assistance.”
Barty steppes aside as the taller boy, because he was a slight bit taller than him, walks towards the door.
“Oh, and Crouch” Lupin says as he turns his head to make eye contact with the Ravenclaw. “Be nice to Peter, he deserves it.” and then he stepped out into the hallway, letting the crowd swallow him up.
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Barty’s mind is clouded with doubt and confusion as he walks towards the room of requirement. It was the first time in a while that they had found the time to meet up. Peter seemingly constantly busy with homework and his friends.
Was that why he had sent Remus Lupin to help Barty? Did he just not have time for him anymore. Was Barty getting out-prioritized by other people? Would Peter break up with him tonight?
He considered not going at all. You can’t break up with someone that you can’t get into contact with.
But that’s now really how it works. Logically he’s aware of that. Them never seeing each other again, is in reality not better than being single at all. So, he’s going anyway. Even though just the thought of losing Peter for good, scares the shit out of him.
And he doesn’t even know why. Remus Lupin had seemed to be fine with their relationship, and if not for his friends, then what reason to break up with Barty could Peter possibly have.
He’s getting ahead of himself, he knows that. He can’t know what Peter is going to say to him in there. Maybe he won’t say anything at all. Maybe they’ll just cuddle all night. Maybe it’s all just in his head.
But then why Lupin? Was it some weird attempt at getting Barty to mingle with Peters friends? Surely there are better ways to go about that. And why Evan? Why had Evan told him to go to the abandoned classroom in the first place? Barty wondered if it was all one of the famed marauder pranks as he finally approached to door to the room.
He hesitates before finally pulling the handle down and cracking the door open. Peter is already in there. Sitting on the couch with some book that Barty has never seen before. Peter looks up as Barty takes a step into the little cozy room. “Oh, there you are! I was wondering wether you had gotten lost on your way up here.” A foreign look shifted over Peter’s face, as Barty stayed on his feet, unmoving. “D-do you want to sit down?” He scooted a bit to the right, even though there had been plenty of space for Barty to sit next to him on the couch in the first place.
Barty sat down in the far-left end of the couch; he could take a hint. He would rather have kept standing up, wanting to be able to leave as fast as possible after his boyfriend broke up with him. He looks around the room, suddenly the tapestry has gotten very interesting. He notes that there was a new plant in the room, and a little lamp suited for reading. He avoids looking at the boy sitting beside him.
“Do you still want me to tutor you in Herbology?” The blonde asks, breaking the silence hanging between them. Still. Do I still have to waste my time on you after I leave you. Peter’s usually kind and soft voice rung out in his mind in a harsh and mean tone, speaking the truth that Barty knew the other boy was too selfless to really utter.
He wants to say yes. He so desperately wants to say yes. Wants the gryffindor to stay, no matter the form their relationship might take. But that would be unfair. Not when he knows what this really is. Not when he knows the other is trying to say goodbye, for good. So, he pulls himself together. “It’s fine, I’m already a lot better at it then I used to be. I truly appreciate all the help you’ve given me, but I can manage on my own from here, so you don’t have to worry about it.”
The words feels horrible on his tounge. He is almost certain that if someone checks the inside of his troath, they will discover several burn marks decorating his skin.
Peter’s silence almost hurts more.
Did what they had not matter to the gryffindor? Is he going to stay awake tonight, turning his pillow over every five minutes to prevent the tears from completely soaking it. Barty will. He’s not convinced he’ll ever get a good night of sleep again.
“So… this is goodbye then, it was nice while it lasted.” Peter wasn’t even looking at Barty as he said it. Like Barty disgusted him. And it truly didn’t make sense to him. He has never thought of Peter as a player, but he feels played. He feels played, miserable and confused about the lack of reasons. But it was done now. Peter had broken up.
“Yeah.” Bart croaks out, holding back his tears. “This is goodbye.”
They sit together for a short while. A short while that feels very long. If someone told him that they had been sitting there for a year, he would believe them.
Eventually Peter scoots off of the couch with an awkward slap on his thighs. Barty can see his now ex-boyfriend’s hands shaking as he gathers up his things and leaves without sparing the Ravenclaw a single glance.
He knows that Peter closed the door normally. He saw him gently press the handle down and slowly let it go afterwards. But the sound of the door closing still somehow sounded like a thousand babies screaming in his ears.
Peter had left the room. Barty is alone. Peter has left him. Barty is alone.
And Barty breaks down.
He spent that night in the room of requirement, sleeplessly tossing and turning as the muffled sounds and previously back-held tears streaming out of his body. The scent of Peter’s cologne still hanging in the air, taunting him.
Notes:
I started at my new school and it's a lot harder than my previus one, hopefully I'll still be able to post monthly.
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