The Demon on Her Shoulder Has Her Back

by Barely_a_human

Summary:

"'Hi, Crowley.”
“What did you need, dear?”
“I’ve- uh- been kicked out of my house. I don’t know where to go, and it’s raining. I’m sorry for bothering you, but you said I could call if I needed anything, and right now I need a grown-up that would be on my side.'"
or

Crowley adopts a young trans girl named Eve, and she get's to witness the almost-apocalypse, as well as Crowley finding love with an angel, from an outsiders perspective.

The first time Eve met Crowley, the year was 2011 and she was an eleven year old crying alone at a bus stop. She had just gone shopping with her friends under strict orders from her mom to “not buy any of that girly shit.” So she had a shopping bag full of “boys clothes” and a heavy heart. She knew her mom hated the idea of her dressing too feminine for a “boy,” so she couldn’t imagine what her mom may say if she knew that Eve was fairly certain she was a girl, that she had started shortening her name in her head to the more feminine “Eve.” 

Her friends had been picked up by their parents, and now she had to take the bus home by herself. She was staring at the clothes she bought, already imagining how miserable she would feel wearing them, and crying her eyes out. 

She hadn’t noticed the woman that had joined her until she had started speaking to her. 

“Why are you crying dear child?”

She startled and looked up to see an incredibly severe woman looking down at her. The woman was wearing all black, from her tight pencil skirt to her lacy little hat. Her clothes were cleanly tailored to fit and she held her head tall, her entire look screamed an air of superiority that was only supported by the round sunglasses that hid her eyes.  

“Oh um,” she sniffled as she tried to come up with a lie, “I just don’t like the clothes my mom wanted me to buy. It’s silly.”

“I’m sure it’s not. If you want, you can tell me about it. I promise I won’t find it silly.”

Eve looked at the woman again. She was scary, sure, but there was something gentle in her tone, and she was really quite tall, her features were very sharp, and her voice sat a little lower than most women. Maybe she would understand Eve.

“I wanted to buy a - uh - a dress.” She looked away from the woman resolutely, and continued speaking as quickly as she could. “But my mom told me I couldn’t use the money she gave to buy anything girly. Said she’d check the receipts and everything.”

“That is very sad. I don’t think you’re silly for being distraught.”

Eve peeked at the woman who was just looking at her plainly, like they were adults having a serious conversation. Eve appreciated that, she was so used to being looked at like she was a child that couldn’t understand anything, even herself. 

“I guess.”

The woman then passed her a 50 pound note. “Go get that dress, but hide it well, and don’t wear it if it’s not safe.”

Eve’s eyebrows reached her hairline. “I couldn’t. This is your money”

She smiled conspiratorially. “And therefore your mom has no say in what is bought with it. I want you to have it. Don’t worry about it.”

“If you’re sure. Thank you so much.” 

The woman just nodded.

Mood thoroughly lifted, Eve jumped up, ready to go find that dress she wanted. But before she left, she turned to ask the woman one question. 

“Why would you do this for me?”

“I’m a nanny. I like helping children.” 

Eve shrugged and skipped off to find and hide a very pink very sparkly dress she had seen earlier. 

 

The next time Eve saw the woman, she was doing her homework in a cafe that was on her way home from school. She’d taken to doing her homework here because as long as it was done her mom didn’t care, and it allowed her to put off going home for as long as possible. 

It had been almost a year since she’d bought the pink dress, and her mom still didn’t know about it, but the yelling about her appearance had gotten worse. She stopped getting her haircut, claiming she wanted to look like Ozzy Osbourne. She’d really leaned into her “emo phase.” She wasn’t really emo, it was just the only way to look more feminine without tipping her mom off that she was a girl. She could paint her nails black because emo guys did that, she could grow her hair out to look like old rock stars, and she could wear skinny jeans, as long as it was an emo thing, not a gay one. It made her existence more bearable, even if Eve would’ve much rather worn bright clothing with lace or ruffles than ripped denim and spikes. 

Her mom yelled at her for almost every aspect of her style and clothing, but at least she didn’t think it was too feminine, just ugly and unbecoming. Apparently she was representing her family poorly. 

She’d found the longer she could spend away from home, the less she had to deal with harsh comments, insults, and screaming matches from her mother. 

The cafe she usually stayed at didn’t make her buy anything. They let her just sit and do her work, as long as she was quiet. She figured they felt bad for the poor child that sat for hours by herself everyday, but she’d take what she could get, even if it was pity. 

The door opened harshly like a strike of lightning, and every person in the cafe turned to look at the new customer. She had to be at least 6’6 in her heels and she looked to be sizing everyone up from under her sunglasses. 

Eve would know her anywhere, and despite her frankly terrifying aura, Eve knew she was actually insanely kind.  

The woman ordered her coffee and turned back to find a place to sit, eyes finding Eve immediately. Eve repressed a flinch, she doubted this woman remembered or recognized her, but something felt like the woman was looking through her. 

“Can I sit here?”

Eve jumped, she was much closer than she was a second ago. Eve nodded anyway, and pulled her school work to her half of the table as the woman sat down across from her. 

“Did you get that dress you wanted?”

“Oh -uh yeah, I did.”

“Good.”

There was an awkward lull in conversation, and Eve looked anywhere but into the woman’s sunglasses. 

 The woman cleared her throat, and extended a perfectly manicured hand. She had incredibly sharp nails that were painted bright red. “I’m Ms.Ashtoreth, by the way.”

Eve knew better than to tell Ms.Ashtoreth her name because if she lived in the area, she may come in contact with her mom, and god forbid her mom ever find out her child wants to have a “girl’s” name.

“...I’m Steven.” She tentatively shook Ms.Ashtoreth’s hand. 

“No you’re not. You don’t have to tell me your name, but you don’t lie to me.”

Eve squinted at her. How did she know that? “It’s Eve. My name is Eve.”

Ms.Ashtoreth smiled at her and while her smile was terrifying and a little sharp, it felt weirdly safe to Eve. “I knew an Eve once a long time ago. She was a really strong young woman, as I’m sure you’ll grow up to be.”

“How did you-”

“I’m just really good at reading people.”

Before Eve could formulate a response Ms.Ashtoreth’s coffee order had been called, and she was at the front picking up her drink. 

She stopped by Eve’s table again before she left, but didn’t sit down this time. “I must be off. It was nice talking to you.” She placed a sleek black business card on the table. “If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call.”

She thanked Ms.Ashtoreth and slipped the card into her wallet. 

Eve saw Ms.Ashtoreth around sometimes over the next year, but she never really spoke to her, and never had to call the number on the card. Eve kept it anyway, though. She carried it in her wallet, just in case. It felt like the kind of number she shouldn’t call unless she was in serious jeopardy, like 999. She wasn’t completely sure what could happen that would make her use it, but it made her feel safer to know she had the incredibly scary woman in her corner. 

She’d come out to her two closest friends, and they’d started calling her Eve, only when it was just them of course, but it was nice having friends that truly knew and accepted her. She knew it could be dangerous, but she deleted messages that used her name after she got them, and her friends knew to be incredibly cautious if they ever spoke to her mom for whatever reason. That had yet to be a problem, as none of her friends had ever met her mother. 

She honestly felt like her whole life was starting to get better, or at least easier to bear. That was until her mom went through her phone. 

She deleted every incriminating message after receiving it, but if she hadn’t seen it yet, she didn’t know it was there. She had just gotten out of the shower when her mom called her downstairs to “talk” about something. Eve knew better, it wouldn’t be just a talk, it was going to be a lecture at best and a screaming match at worst.

She was proven right when she found her mom dangling Eve’s phone between her fingers and scowling. 

“Care to explain yourself?”

Eve wasn’t about to give her mom more reasons to be mad at her without knowing why she was mad to begin with, so she shrugged. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“These messages from your so-called ‘friends’ using a girl’s name for you.”

Eve’s heart dropped. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“And now you’re lying to me. I raised you better than this.”

Eve stared at the ground, which was apparently the wrong response.

“Get out.”

Eve’s head shot up. “W-what?”

“Get the fuck out of my house. I tried so hard to get you to grow out of this little phase, but nothing I do can fix you. I’m fucking done dealing with it. Get. Out. And do not come back”

“Can I grab my stuff?”

“Always about you isn’t it? You never think about how this shit will reflect on the rest of your family. You make us look so bad, absolutely destroy our reputation, and you don’t even feel bad. No, you don’t get anything. You’ve ruined enough.”

Eve nodded numbly and left before her mom raised her voice. For kicking her daughter out of the house, her mom had been surprisingly calm. It almost hurt more knowing that it wasn’t said in the heat of the moment. That she actually meant it. 

She sped to the backyard, climbed the tree by her window, and snuck into her room. She quickly packed everything she could think to bring into her backpack, and ran when she heard footsteps coming up the stairs. 

She walked aimlessly from her home. She was completely numb to everything. She figured she should care more, but her mom’s yelling had made her feel unwelcome a long time before this. 

Eve took a mental note of everything she had, and what could happen from here. She had clothes, a laptop,  her headphones, and her wallet with about thirty pounds in it. Her mom still had her phone, so she couldn’t call any of her friends for help. She was thirteen with no job, no money, and no ability to get either. All in all, she was fucked. 

She never lived too far from St.James Park, so she rerouted there and hoped she could find a bench to hang out on for a while. Without her phone, she didn’t know anyone’s phone number, so she couldn’t borrow a stranger's phone, and she didn’t know any of her friends addresses off the top of her head, but if she could make it to the morning she could see them at school and ask them or a teacher for help. 

She found a bench, and sat down, pulling out her laptop and headphones, and laying back, listening to music. 

She was fine, truly, even if now that she wasn’t moving she felt like sobbing, she’d get through it. It’s not like it could get worse.

It started raining. 

She sighed, choked back a sob, and ran from the park, trying to find somewhere to hide from the rain. She couldn’t afford for her laptop to get water damaged right now. She found a place under a tree that let minimal water through, but she’d realized that she couldn’t sleep here anymore. She thought of the business card in her wallet. This was the kind of emergency she’d been waiting for. She would feel terrible bothering Ms.Ashtoreth, but she had told her not to hesitate to ask for help. 

There was a phonebooth nearby, and it wasn’t like she had many options. She steeled her nerves and ran to the phonebooth, pulling her wallet out while she ran. She put cash into the machine and dialed A.J Crowley, as the name stated on the card, she guessed that the “A” stood for Ashtoreth. 

“This is Anthony Crowley. What do you want?”

The person that answered had a voice that was lower than Ms.Ashtoreth and a little less Scottish, but it still sounded like her, so Eve was confused, but continued anyway. “Um - hi. I’m looking to talk to Ms.Ashtoreth.”

“Oh, my dear girl, hello.” Now that sounded like Ms.Ashtoreth. Eve wasn’t going to question it, Ms.Ashtoreth had always been strange, and there could be a number of reasons that she may not give out her name, Eve knew that all too well.

“Hi, Ms.Ashtoreth.”

“What did you need, dear?”

“I’ve- uh- been kicked out of my house. I don’t know where to go, and it’s raining, so I can’t stay in the park. I’m sorry for bothering you, but you said I could call if I needed anything, and right now I need a grown-up that would be on my side.”

“Don’t apologize. Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.”

“St.James Park.”

“Good. I’m not far. Just wait a couple minutes, okay?”

“Okay.”

Ms.Ashtoreth hung up, and Eve breathed a sigh of relief, at least someone could help her. 

It didn’t take long for Ms.Ashtoreth to pull up in a big black car that looked vintage, not that Eve would know. It was loud and scary, and fit Ms.Ashtoreth very well. 

She stepped out of the front and Eve did a double take. She wasn’t in the outfit Eve always saw her in. She was wearing black jeans, and a black t-shirt with a long black coat over it. Black men’s dress shoes replaced her heels. Her usually impeccably curled hair was tied back in a small half bun, and she wasn’t wearing any makeup. But her usual sunglasses sat on her face, and that familiarity was enough to ease the panic Eve felt in her chest a little bit. 

Ms.Ashtoreth waved her over, and Eve nearly tripped over her feet in her attempt to reach the car as fast as she could. Ms.Ashtoreth ushered her into the car. 

“Come on, come on, let’s get you out of the rain.”

Ms. Ashtoreth drove fast. It shouldn’t have been surprising, but it was. She always seemed to be such a calm and collected person, but she drove like she wasn’t afraid of death. Maybe she wasn’t, but Eve was. Eve gripped the oh shit bar so tight her knuckles were white and debated praying to the god her mom seemed so obsessed with. She also apparently listened to nothing but Queen, so Eve’s death was going to be set to ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ and wasn’t that just so appropriate. 

Eve had no idea where they were going, but she knew when they got there because for the first time since getting in the car, Ms.Ashtoreth slowed down. 

They walked to what looked like a diner, the umbrella in Ms.Ashtoreth’s hand was held over both of them. Ms.Ashtoreth told her to get whatever she wanted off the menu, and spare no expense. Eve just got a burger and water, not particularly picky with her food, and she’d feel bad if she spent too much of Ms.Ashtoreth’s money. 

When Eve had her food and was three bites into stuffing the burger down her throat, (she hadn’t realized she was that hungry until the food was in front of her) Ms.Ashtoreth started talking about what Eve wanted to do now. Eve honestly hadn’t come up with a good solution, she had so few options that she’d just kind of given up on coming up with a choice that wouldn’t suck. 

“I’ll help you with whatever you’d most like to do. If you have family nearby that would be willing to take you in, that would be ideal. But, the system is an option of course, or I could get you into a boarding school that would provide housing and food until you’re old enough to live on your own.”

Eve shook her head. “I only have my grandparents and I’m sure they would be just about as accepting as my mom. I don’t want to go into the system, but my roommate if I went to a boarding school would be a boy. I’m not sure I could handle that.”

Ms.Ashtoreth opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before hesitantly speaking. “You could -ngk- you could stay with me?” She looked into her black coffee, which was the only thing she ordered. “Only if you’d like to of course. I do have a spare room, though.”

 Eve felt like she was going to sob all over again. “That would be truly incredible. Thank you so much, Ms.Ashtoreth.”

Ms.Ashtoreth just waved her off, and told her to eat her food, but Eve was elated. She would be able to stay at the school she currently went to, and she wouldn’t have to worry about being safe. And…oh my god… she would be able to fully transition now. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face if she tried. 

 

On their way to Ms.Ashtoreth’s flat, listening to Fat Bottomed Girls, Ms.Ashtoreth laid down a couple ground rules. 

“First, call me Crowley. I don’t go by Ashtoreth or Anthony anywhere but for business. Second-”

“Wait just a moment. What are your pronouns?”

Ms.Ash- Crowley looked surprised by the question, though Eve couldn’t figure out why. They went by three different names, and cared enough about a trans kid to take her in. She figured a pronoun question should’ve been expected. 

“I don’t care. I use all of them interchangeably. I use he/him most often, but they change with my clothes. Whatever vibe you’re getting at the moment, is right.”

Eve nodded, she could do that. 

“Okay, back to the rules. Second is that you can’t be nice to the plants, I can’t let them get complacent.”

Eve nodded again. That was weird, but easily abided by. 

“Third, and this is the most important, don’t tell anyone you’re staying with me. I can’t explain why, but it could put you in danger if too many people know. If you must tell your friends who you’re staying with, you may tell people you’re staying with Ms.Ashtoreth or Anthony, but do not say Crowley.”

That was a scary rule. Who was Crowley involved with that Eve couldn’t share she was staying with them without putting herself in danger? Were they mafia or a drug dealer? “Okay… it is safe with you, though, yes?”

Crowley looked at her with the most intense look she’d ever seen. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” Eve believed her. 

But, her belief that they were mafia was only strengthened by the nice flat they arrived at in the rich part of Mayfair. How could a nanny afford this? She didn’t really care though. Being protected by a member of the mafia would be nice, she’d probably be safer here than anywhere else.

The flat was big and empty. Decorated with white furniture against white walls, and so sparse it looked like a flat staged for a magazine. Crowley gave her a tour of the flat. There was a room filled with the most green and most beautiful plants Eve had ever seen in her life. She caught a glimpse into a study with what appeared to be a throne in it which was weird, and finally ended in a guest room that was just as dull and sterile as the rest of the flat. It had a queen sized bed, a desk, a dresser, and a closet. All that she would need.

“You can decorate however you want. This isn’t a guest room anymore. It’s yours. This is your home now too.”

 

The longer Eve lived with Crowley the weirder he seemed. Eve had only been with him for about a month, but everything about Crowley seemed a little eccentric. Like the number he kept in a junk drawer, that Eve was told to call in an emergency but wasn’t allowed to call any other time, and wouldn’t tell Eve who it was no matter how much she asked.

 Or when he took Eve to buy new sheets (she wanted light purple ones), it seemed like he had never bought sheets before, not knowing what the sizing was or what thread count meant. Eve knew Crowley had bought sheets at some point, though, because there were sheets on the bed when she first arrived. 

Or the way Crowley never seemed to eat. That isn’t to say Eve was eating alone a lot. Crowley always had dinner with her, he just didn’t actually eat any of the food. Most of the time he didn’t even bother making himself a plate, content to just drink their wine or soda and chat with her. Eve tried to bring it up casually once, she was concerned that he may have had some kind of eating disorder, but he just shrugged her off. Not in a defensive way either, but just as though it genuinely didn’t matter. 

There were the plants and the cruel way he talked to them, the incredibly expensive appliances that Crowley didn’t know how to use, the way he said “what the heaven” instead of “what the hell” or “satan” instead of “god” and the fact that he never took his sunglasses off. Eve originally thought that the sunglasses would come off behind closed doors, but she hadn’t seen Crowley without them once in the month that she’d lived with him.

And don’t even get Eve started on that god forsaken car. Eve was wholeheartedly convinced that the thing was sentient. The Bentley, as Crowley had informed her, would pick songs that seemed relevant for the situation, has driven without Crowley’s foot on the gas, and seems to talk back (?) to Crowley when she (yes, she, that’s what Crowley says) doesn’t want to do something Crowley wants her to. And the Queen thing was apparently not Crowley’s choice, he claims that any music left in the car for a month will become Freddie Mercury, Eve isn’t sure she believes that. 

She’d brought it up to her friends, referring to her guardian as Mx.Ashtoreth of course (she decided “Mx” because she knew Crowley wouldn’t care, and that way she could change pronouns for them and her friends wouldn’t question it), and they’re all convinced that Crowley is some kind of supernatural entity. Her friend Jocelyn seemed really sure that Crowley must be a vampire while Erin thought maybe he was an Angel. (“Angels can’t wear all black, Erin.” “Why not? I think Angels should be able to dress however they want.”)

Eve wasn’t sure, herself. An occult being made a lot of sense, but she wasn’t sure what. She’d be tempted to agree with Andy and say Crowley could be an Angel if he wasn’t so resistant to compliments and thanks. A vampire didn’t seem right either because it didn’t actually explain any of the things except the food thing, and she’d seen him use garlic to make her pasta. Eve’s personal theory was that Crowley was some kind of demon, but she didn’t like that one either because Crowley was always so incredibly kind to her. 

 

Eve learned the truth a couple months later. She’d been living with Crowley for three months, and it had been wonderful. Despite his quirks, Crowley was fun to live with, and very attentive of her, buying her things she wanted like new more feminine clothes, more nail polish colors, and makeup to experiment with. He even let her put makeup on him, braid his hair, or paint his nails sometimes. Crowley had her name changed in the school system within two weeks, and told Eve if a teacher bothered her about it, send them his way. She’d felt more like herself than she ever had and she owed it all to Crowley, who may or may not have been an actual Angel, but was certainly her guardian Angel. 

It started when she was called into the office in the middle of the school day. She didn’t know what had happened, but she was a little nervous it was about the new way she’d been dressing in skirts and dresses. She double checked that anyone could wear skirts before she started wearing them, but you never knew when a teacher was going to ignore what it says in the rule book just to be rude. 

It turned out to be so much worse than she could’ve imagined. As she walked up to the office, through the glass door she saw her mother chatting with the secretary and headmaster. She turned and ran down the hall before thinking twice, dialling Crowley on the way. She ducked around a corner out of everyone’s sight, as Crowley picked up his mobile. 

“What’s wrong?” Straight to the point as always.

“My mom is here.”

“What?!?”

“I got called to the office, and I saw my mom. I ran before she saw me, but it’s not like I can run forever, a teacher will find me. I don’t know what she wants or why she’s here. What if she tries to get me to go back with her. I can’t do that again, Crowley. I just can’t.” She knew she was talking faster and faster, breathing less and less in her panic. 

“Hey, kid, I need you to calm down, okay. Take deep breaths for me. Okay?” 

Eve tried her best to take some deep breaths as Crowley counted them off. 

“You’re doing so good. I’m already on my way, I’ll be there as soon as possible. I’m not gonna let her take you back. Do you think you’ll be alright until I get there?”

Eve nodded before she remembered he couldn’t see her and shakily told him she’d be okay, and said goodbye. 

Her original plan was to wait in hiding until Crowley arrived and they could face her mom together, but that was immediately foiled by a passing teacher.

“Oh, isn’t your mom in the office? I could’ve sworn that I had just seen her.”

Eve nodded, and the teacher offered to walk her to the front, not taking no for an answer. 

When Eve stepped into the office, everyone turned to look at her immediately. The headmaster gestured for her to take a seat next to her mom, which she did hesitantly. She saw the disgusted way her mom eyed her outfit up and down, and winced. 

The headmaster spoke first, “We’ve been informed that you ran away from home a couple months ago.”

Eve looked at her mom incredulously, who just looked back annoyed. 

Eve took a deep breath. “I didn’t run away. I was kicked out.”

Her mom feigned sadness. “I would never have done that to you. The crazy stories you make up for pity are tearing us apart. Are you ready to stop being dramatic and come home”

“You told me not to come back!”

The headmaster cut in, “Now, there’s no need to get so worked up. Your mom is pulling you out for the day to work this out. Normally there would be consequences, as you lied to the school about living with your mother, while you were actually on your own, which is incredibly dangerous. However, we’ve decided to let you off with a warning.”

“I haven’t been living on my own! And I’m not going anywhere with her!”

Her mom shook her head. “Stop this nonsense, come on, we’re leaving.”

Eve straightened her shoulders and shook her head. She was done with her mom controlling her. Her mom wanted her gone and she got it, she didn’t get to change her mind now. 

Her mom grabbed her arm tightly and growled under her breath, “you don’t get a choice in this.”

The doors burst open.

Crowley was glowering in the doorway, dressed in her full nanny outfit, not a hair out of place. 

“Let go of her.”

Eve’s mom turned to look at the new arrival with a mixture of shock and rage on her face, but she did let go. Eve scrambled out of her chair and up next to Crowley, where she knew she’d be safer. 

“Who are you?” Her mom demanded.

Crowley extended one of her perfectly manicured hands, while subtly pushing Eve a little behind her with the other. “Ashtoreth. I’d say it’s a pleasure, but I was hoping to never meet you.”

Her mom spluttered, trying to ask more questions, but Crowley just turned to the headmaster. “Eve’s been staying with me, and will continue to for the foreseeable future. Also she’s taking a half day.” She turned to Eve now, “Come on kid, let’s ya get outta here.”

Eve wasn’t sure how that had worked with the headmaster when Crowley was definitely not her legal guardian and they still thought Eve had run away, but she wasn’t about to question whatever voodoo Crowley had used. 

They’d made it just outside the door when Eve’s mom unfroze from her shock and ran after to stop them.

“You can’t just take my son!”

Crowley reeled on her. “I think you’ll find I can, and that you don’t have a son.”

“So you’re who's been putting these silly ideas in his head.”

“Your daughter figured out who she was all on her own. She didn’t even need me until you decided your image was more important to you than your kid. You’re going to stay away from her now. You missed your chance.”

The wretched woman that called herself Eve’s mom scoffed. “There is not a court in the world that would side with you over his mother.”

Crowley took a step towards Eve’s mom and Eve was concerned a fight was about to break out. “Good thing this won’t go to court.”

Eve’a worry grew when her mom took a step forward as well. “And why the actual hell wouldn’t I take this to court.”

Crowley laughed and it was a scary sound, not the usual laugh she had when Eve made jokes. “The actual hell?” she laughed harder and then leveled her mom with a dead stare, humor so far gone it seemed like it was never there. “You answered your own question.”

Eve’s mom pushed a finger to Crowley’s chest, now so close she had to look up. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Crowley grabbed her finger and pulled it away from her chest. Eve gasped and backed away when Crowley snatched off her sunglasses, revealing yellow snake eyes that looked to be practically glowing. She snarled at Eve’s mother revealing a forked tongue and multiple dagger-like fangs. “Leave ussssss alone.”

Eve watched in shock as her mother nodded quickly and backed away shaking, until she was far enough to turn her back and run. 

When Crowley looked back at Eve everything but her eyes had returned to normal. Eve figured she should’ve been frightened of whatever snake-creature Crowley was, but Crowley had proven over and over that she wanted nothing more than to protect Eve. Eve knew Crowley would never hurt her, so she threw herself into Crowley’s arms.

Crowley hugged back tightly. “Are you alright, dear?”

“I think I am now.” But the weight of seeing her mother again had hit, and Eve couldn’t stop the tears from sliding down her face. Before long she was just sobbing into Crowley’s chest, as she held her. 

When Eve pulled away, Crowley released her gently, and quickly slipped her glasses back on her face. As they walked to the Bentley, Crowley looked more tense than usual. “Sorry, by the way, for showing my eyes. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Several dots connected in Eve’s head regarding Crowley’s sunglasses. They didn’t keep them on at home all the time, they’d been doing that for Eve’s benefit, assuming their eyes would scare her. Well that would just not do. 

“You didn’t scare me. I was just surprised. Ya’ know just learned magic was real and what not. You should keep the glasses off around the house if they’re uncomfortable. I think your eyes look dope.”

Crowley relaxed a little bit, and a small smile graced her face. “Thanks kid.”

“We’re definitely talking about you being some kinda snake…thing later, but first I could really go for some ice cream.”

That earned her a laugh from Crowley, as she pulled Eve under her arm and ruffled her hair. “Sure thing, snakelet. Whatever you want.”

 

As they sat over dinner that night, Eve figured it was time to get to the bottom of things. Crowley had taken her on a very nice day, starting with ice cream and ending with seeing a new film in theaters, so she felt bad to have to pry answers out of him, but she needed to know.

She swallowed the bite of fish she’d taken and cleared her throat. “So…” 

Crowley sighed. “You want to know what I am.”

“Very much so, yes.”

“First, I want you to know that if it makes you uncomfortable, we can always find you another safe place to live. You’re not trapped.”

Eve already knew that wasn’t going to be a problem, but she agreed anyway, curiosity growing. What could be so bad that he’d even offer that?

Crowley gingerly took off his sunglasses, and set them aside. “I’m a demon.”

Eve wasn’t shocked, as that had been her guess anyway, but it was still crazy to think that she was actually right. She kept her voice intentionally neutral as she asked, “Really?”

Crowley nodded. “I’m guessing you have questions, so I’m giving you free reign tonight to ask whatever you want. After tonight, they better be good questions if you’re gonna waste my time asking them.”

Eve nodded aggressively. “All questions out now. Got it! So you’re like from Hell then, yeah?”

“Yes. Sucks down there.”

“How long have you been on Earth?”

“Aside from occasional reporting to Hell, since the beginning. The garden of Eden.”

Eve gasped. “When you said you knew another Eve you meant…”

“The original Eve. Yes. She was great company. Stubborn but curious, willing to listen to my suggestions.”

“You’re- no. You can’t be. The serpent?”

“The one and only.”

“Wouldn’t that make you the devil?”

Crowley shook his head. “Common misinterpretation. I was the serpent of Eden, sent by Satan to start trouble, but not Satan himself.”

“Hmm. That’s good I guess. Where do you go during the day? Cuz I know the original temptor isn’t playing nanny all day long.”

“Actually he is. It’s just for the antichrist. I’ll tell you about that when you’re older.”

“Awwww. But I wanna know now.”

“This is one thing I’m not going to tell you. It’s not safe, okay?”

Eve nodded. She was disappointed, but she knew Crowley just wanted to protect her, so she guessed she could deal with her curiosity. At least she knew what he was. 

“I think I’m out of questions about the demon thing, but I do want to hear more about human history sometime. Ya’ know since you were there.”

“Alright, snakelet. I’ll tell you all about it some other time. It’s about your bedtime, but I do have one question for you?”

“For me?”

“Yeah. Does the demon thing really not bother you? Eyes either?”

Eve shrugged. “I’m really okay with it. You’re always so good to me, I can’t imagine that you’re as evil as the books say. I know you wouldn’t hurt me.”

Crowley nodded resolutely. “Never. I would never hurt you.”

“I know.” Eve smiled brightly, and hugged Crowley goodnight. They’d never really done physical affection, but after the day she’d had, Eve felt she earned it. 

And if the way Crowley held her back said anything, he needed one too. 

 

In the year following, Eve got closer and closer with Crowley. He helped her with her homework, started teaching her how to cook, and gave her a lot of advice (or as much advice as a demon can give a teenage girl about being a human.)

Once while they were cooking together, she asked why he knew how to cook if he never ate, and he stuttered something unintelligible about fussy Angels, and changed the subject. It wasn’t the first time he’d offhandedly mentioned an “angel,” but Eve had very quickly learned not to push it. She figured that the “angel” was either an actual Angel Crowley had been pining after for a long time, or a human he called a pet name, that he had been pining after for a long time. She was certain that there was pining involved. 

They watched television together almost every night, switching off who picks the show. Crowley always picked Golden Girls, and now Eve had seen every episode at least twice. Eve always picked something she thought Crowley would like or at least find amusing. He loved The Good Place, but claimed he hated Supernatural (even if they finished the whole show, and he suggested it half of the time), apparently he saw the demon in the show named Crowley as an insult. Eve found it hilarious

Eve had gotten so close to Crowley that her friend’s had begun to refer to him as her dad. She never corrected them because they knew he wasn’t actually her dad, and they were right in all senses of the word. Crowley had really become her dad. Her mom had never made her feel as safe as Crowley had, never taken care of her the way he did, and never showed as much love for her as he always showed. Crowley even scolded her when she messed up, but it never made her feel like she was worthless, the way her mom always made her feel. Crowley always made it feel like a conversation to help keep her safe or on track in life. 

She’d started thinking of him as her dad, she just wasn’t sure if that was something he would like for her to do. They were close, sure, but her seeing him as her parent is a whole other thing, so she kept those thoughts to herself. She was too much of a burden for her biological mother, she wasn’t going to push Crowley into that role when he probably didn’t want it either. So she bit her tongue and didn’t tell him a thing. Which was fine, except she came really close to slipping up all the time. 

The first time, she was just trying to have a sleepover with Erin, but when Erin’s mom dropped them off, she came to the door asking to talk to Crowley. It was the first time that Erin had hung out at Eve’s house since the “incident” (Crowley had to warm up to the idea of her having people over, as he didn’t want to put anyone at risk of hellish retribution,) and the fact that she’d “run away” to live with someone her mom hadn’t met was getting around, so she couldn’t blame Erin’s mom for being cautious. 

Eve had told her to make herself at home in the living room, and she would go grab him. 

Crowley was in his study, doing what, Eve wasn’t sure, as he seemed to mostly just sit there. She knocked and called out, “Crowley! Erin’s mom wants to speak to you.”

“Why?”

Eve giggled. “Because you’ve been my” dad “...guardian for a year, and she still hasn’t met you. Which she would like to do before her teenager spends the night here.”

Eve cursed to herself. Now was not the time to call him that. That would surely cause an awkward conversation that Eve didn’t want to have, especially not with Erin and their mom in the other room. 

Crowley sighed and appeared in the doorway, a plastic smile on his face. “Let’s get this over with.”

Eve laughed at him again. He really didn’t like interacting with parents and teachers, and it was always amusing to Eve because he was so good at talking to people, something unnaturally charming about him, but he hated it nonetheless. 

He shook Erin’s mom’s hand gently, sharp red nails kept intentionally out of the way. “Hi, I’m Ashtoreth, Eve’s guardian.” 

Erin’s mom smiled. “Hi, I’m Mandy, Erin’s mom. So sorry to just drop in like this, but I wanted to exchange information.”

“It’s no trouble really. I don’t mind at all.” 

Eve rolled her eyes at the blatant lie and made a face at Erin who was also awkwardly standing next to their parent. You could tell they were thinking the same thing: ‘we’re fourteen. Why do our parents need to talk?’ Erin’s mom was always a little too protective, though, so they were decidedly more put out by it then Eve was. 

“If you don’t mind me asking. What are your pronouns?”

Eve’s head shot up, she knew Erin said that their mom was supportive, and she was nothing but supportive to Eve in the past, but seeing her apply that allyship outside of her kid and their friends was astonishing to Eve.

Crowley looked just as taken aback as Eve felt, as he gawked at her openly. “Um…”

“I know, crazy for a straight woman my age to ask,” she chuckled, “but we need to be better for our kids. Don’t you think?”

Crowley nodded, recovering. “Yeah, I suppose so. I use all of them. I don’t care.”

Mandy smiled. “Alrighty, I use she/her. I’d just like to have your phone number in case of an emergency, and if you want I can add you to the mom group chat we’ve got going on. We get mimosas on Wednesdays.”

Crowley smiled back, strained. “Yeah of course.” 

The moment Mandy seemed sufficiently happy, Eve grabbed Erin and fled to her room in the back. 

After that, Eve almost called Crowley ‘dad’ almost every day. 

It was… 

“Hey” dad, “can you pass me the salt?”

“Thanks for the food” dad. 

“Goodnight” dad. 

Dad, “a little help with groceries please!”

…and so on.

She did manage to keep the endearment(?) to herself for almost six entire months, but she, as everyone is wont to do, eventually slipped up. She was sitting at the dining room table doing her homework after school. Crowley preferred she get her homework done right after school, so she could be sure she got it done, but he also left it up to her if she did. He said that she was old enough to make the smart choices for herself, and she fell right into his trap of doing her homework right after school to feel smarter. 

When she chose to do her homework right after school, Crowley would sit across from her, just home from work and still in his nanny outfit, and lesson plan. To her it looked more like brainstorming ways to turn a child evil, but who was she to judge what demonic homework looked like. 

There was a question on her history homework that she couldn’t find the answer to in her textbook, and while Crowley was the worst at math, he was incredible at history. Probably because he lived through all of it. 

“Dad? Can you help me with my homework?”

Eve didn’t even realize what she’d said until she looked up from her homework to see why he hadn’t responded to see him gaping at her from across the table. 

“...shit.”

“You called me dad.”

Eve looked back down at her homework. He didn’t sound mad or upset, just surprised, but Eve didn’t trust it. She knew he probably wouldn’t be angry with her, just uncomfortable, and after all he’s done to make sure she was comfortable, the least she could do was return the favor. 

“Sorry” Was she crying? Fuck, she was.

Crowley grabbed her hands, when had he gotten next to her? “Hey hey hey, no. Don’t apologize. You’re welcome to call me dad if you’d like.”

His voice was so gentle. Eve started crying harder, gasping sobs leaving her as she hunched over her homework.

“Come here, snakelet.” Crowley pulled her into a hug and rocked her gentle back and forth, while she cried. She buried her face in his shoulder, and tried to get a hold of herself. 

She hadn’t even realized it was bothering her this much until this moment. She wasn’t entirely sure why she was crying, but knowing that Crowley didn’t mind being her parent when her ‘actual’ parent hadn’t even wanted her was choking her up. 

She whispered a soft, “Thank you,” into his blazer.

He shushed her. “Don’t thank me. I’m not doing anything that I don’t want to do.”

He didn’t pull away until she did, then he gently wiped her face, and gave her a wet smile. 

“You know, ‘dad’ has a nice ring to it. I think I'd like being called that.”

Eve smiled back and hugged him again. “Thank you, though. Really.”

“No problem, snakelet.”

 

Over the next 5 years, Crowley had been there through every major event in Eve’s life. He’d bought her a car when she was fifteen and got her provisional drivers license, and taught her to drive it. He gave her first girlfriend the shovel talk. He’d been there when she got her name legally changed at 16, and when she went on estrogen at 18. He helped her with her University admittance essays, and helped her study for her finals. He’d celebrated every birthday with her, every award, and every accomplishment. 

She’d decided to go to the University of London because she wouldn’t have had to move out of Crowley’s flat. He’d told her she could stay as long as she wanted, and she assured him she’d be out by the time she graduated. He just shrugged, and told her that was fine if it’s what she wanted. 

He’d gone with her to explore the campus when she’d gotten accepted. At that point he’d retired the dresses and pencil skirts along with the name Ashtoreth and his long hair. According to him, the kid he was nannying outgrew the need for a nanny and he was “unemployed by human standards” whatever that meant, so he’d decided to change it up. Instead he’d worn jeans so tight they seemed painted on, a black turtleneck, and a tailored black blazer. Paired with the sunglasses, Eve thought he’d looked like an old washed-out rockstar, but in the last year she’d been attending, she’d heard about how “hot” her dad was at least a hundred times. The friends she’d made at uni had started referring to Crowley as “The Dilf.” Eve did not appreciate that, but apparently her opinion did not matter. 

It was 2019, and Eve was 19. She’d been at uni for a year, but she was currently on summer break, and her father seemed to be getting more and more stressed. Crowley was out of the flat more and more, always on the end of his rope, often mumbling something about hellhounds and “the day” approaching, and taking out his frustrations on the plants more often than not. 

It was a Wednesday, and Eve had just gotten home from the job she’d gotten working as a barista at a local cafe. Crowley was pacing around his study, she could hear him the moment she walked through the door. 

“Dad? I’m home.”

“Eve!” He sped out of his office, meeting her halfway, and grabbing her by her shoulders. Eve was about his height at this point, so he was staring directly into her eyes, snake-eyes completely taking over his sclera, as she learned they do when he’s stressed. “We need to talk.”

“Sure, what’s wrong?” She gently took his hands from her shoulders and held them. It was scary seeing her dad like this. He almost looked …scared, borderline terrified actually. She’d never seen him look even mildly nervous. Stressed, all the time, but scared, never. He always held her hand when she was scared, so she returned the favor. Holding both of his hands in hers. 

“I need you to stay at a hotel for a couple of days.”

“Why?”

He looked away. “...I just do.”

“Dad, I’m old enough to know the truth. Just tell me what’s going on.”

Crowley sighed and squeezed her hand a little tighter. “The world is ending. Full apocalypse style. I failed to stop the anti-christ,” then under his breath, “wrong fucking boy,” and then at regular volume again, “I’m still trying to stop it, but things are not looking good. I’m no longer safe because Hell is going to realize what happened soon, and I need you to be far away from here when they do.”

“Okay, so you want me to stay at a hotel until the world ends.”

“Yes. Because on the off chance that it doesn’t, I need you to be okay.”

“Should I just skip work?”

“I’ll miracle it, so it looks like you requested it months ago.” Crowley never miracled things for Eve, always saying she needed to learn to be self-sufficient, so this was clearly important to him. 

Crowley looked at her very seriously. “Don’t leave the room. A lot of really dangerous things are said to happen at the end of the world, and I want you to stay out of the crossfire. No getting killed by the fish that will fall from the sky.”

Eve cracked a smile but nodded, and Crowley took a deep breath before continuing. “I’ll text you when you can come back on Sunday. If I don’t… If I don’t” another deep breath, “the flat is yours. If there is still a world by Monday, but I don’t text you, all of my things are in your name.”

Eve’s eyes shot open. “Dad, what-”

“It’s okay. I’ll be okay… probably.”

Eve surged forward and pulled him into a hug, tightly grabbing the back of his jacket in her fists. She felt 13 again, her family leaving her behind, but this time she cared. This time it was her actual parent, who actually loved her, and she was definitely getting tears on his blazer. 

She realized with a start that she could feel his tears falling on her blouse as well. In the six years she’d lived with him, she’d never seen Crowley cry, and it shook her to her core and made her cry harder. 

He pulled back so she could see his tearfilled yellow eyes. “I love you, snakelet. Don’t forget that.”

“I love you too, dad. Stay safe please.”

 

The next four days were the most stressful of Eve’s life. She’d driven to the nearest hotel, and used her dads card (it was really fancy and could get her just about anything, but Eve wasn’t really sure why it worked because she rarely felt like it was necessary to use) to pay for a room for the next five nights. The fifth was just in case, and she was manifesting that she wouldn’t need to stay Sunday night. 

She was so incredibly scared that Crowley wouldn’t be coming home that she could hardly think about anything else. It didn’t help that she told Crowley she wouldn’t leave the hotel room, and didn’t want to go against that. She had nothing to do except think. Nothing to do except worry. And it was driving her insane.

She spent everyday watching Golden Girls and writing silly little stories (both original and fanfiction) on her laptop. She ordered room service for lunch and dinner, only leaving the room to go to the hotel lobby for breakfast. She figured one hour a day without even leaving the hotel wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. 

She’d gotten a text from her boss on the first day asking where she was, followed by an apology saying she wasn’t sure how she hadn’t seen that she’d requested the week off, so Eve knew that assuming the world didn’t end, her job would still be waiting for her. Which was good, as she liked being a barista a lot, and this specific cafe paid her pretty well. 

Every night, Crowley would send her a text making sure she ate that day and wishing her goodnight. It helped Eve’s anxiety a lot to know that Crowley was at least alive at the time of his last text. She was beginning to understand why he didn’t want to tell her what was happening originally, it was really stressful to know what was actually happening. 

Throughout the week Eve stayed aware of the news. Atlantis rose, nuclear reactors disappeared, and the kraken came up from the depths of the ocean. Saturday was the worst of it. Fish were raining from the sky in some areas (Crowley called it) the M25 had gone up in flames and an actual hurricane had come through the southern part of the country. 

Eve was watching a live news feed of everything currently going on, and they currently had someone outside the M25 filming the fire. 

“...here outside London’s Orbital Motorway or the M25, which has gone up completely in flames…What’s that?... The police officers on the other side are saying someone just drove into the fire. A black vintage car apparently.”

Eve sighed. She would hope that it wasn’t Crowley in that car, but she knew better. It was definitely going to be Crowley.

The Camera panned to the wall of flames as a very familiar black Bentley with an even more familiar smiling maniac in the driver's seat burst through the flames. 

Crowley smiled and waved at the news reporter as he passed and Eve repressed a giggle. The camera followed the car as it sped away on fire, and burst out cackling. It was scary, sure, but it was just so Crowley to be manically smiling, as he drove a car that was actively burning. He was going to be so mad if the Bentley was damaged permanently, though. She did not want to be there to see the fallout if the car Crowley had since new (technically before new, as the model was a 1933, but he miraculously got her in 1926) was beyond repair. 

Saturday night Crowley sent his usual goodnight text, and Eve breathed a sigh of relief. She had a feeling Saturday was the big day. It really seemed like everything was over now. All of the world had gone back to normal, and governments had already started trying to explain everything off. She slept well for the first time in three nights and awaited her text on Sunday saying everything was fine, and she could go home. 

But the longer time went on Sunday morning, the more scared she became. Maybe Crowley had survived the end of the world, but Hell had gotten him. Maybe something horrible happened right after he sent her a text last night. 

She paced the room, growing increasingly panicked until around 3 in the afternoon when her phone started ringing. 

She answered as quickly as she possibly could, and was beyond relieved to hear Crowley’s voice on the other end. 

“Snakelet, you good?”

“Perfectly safe.”

Crowley sighed in relief on the other end. “Good good. So the world is saved and I’m free from Hell. Now I'm unemployed by demon standards too.” He chuckled. “I’m celebrating with a … friend, and quite extraordinary amounts of alcohol. You can come home whenever. I'm at his. I’ll be home tonight, but not for a little while.”

“Alright. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Yep.”

“Dad?”

“What’s up?”

“You’re completely safe?”

“Absolutely safe, snakelet.”

“I’m glad. See you soon.”

There was someone in the background of the call and then quietly, like he was talking to someone else,  “Yeah yeah, angel, I’m talking to someone. Just a second.” and then he spoke into the microphone again, “See you soon. Behave yourself.”

“Always.” 

Eve smiled as she made her way home. She was safe, Crowley was safe. And, he was spending time with “angel.” She’d heard that much. The person that helped her dad stop the apocalypse was the person Crowley's been pining after. That was good for him, maybe it’d give him courage to confess. 

When Crowley came home that night, he immediately pulled Eve into a hug and just held her for a while. He came home at 7, so they could still eat dinner together, and brought take-away home with him. 

Eve was excited to be able to eat with her dad after a week of panicking about him possibly being dead, and Crowley seemed just as happy as she was. It was a great night full of laughter, T.V, snacks, and catching up. 

Eve was happier than anything to be home, safe, and with her family. 

 

After that, Crowley’s demeanor changed pretty significantly. He was happier and seemed lighter somehow. As though whatever held him back from enjoying himself was gone. He no longer hid his smiles and laughter as much, he was faster to admit to liking something, and he didn’t look weighed down by life anymore. 

He spent time at “his angel’s” during the day when Eve had class or work, and spent time Eve after. She got the distinct impression that him and “angel” didn’t get to see each other that much in the past. He seemed so happy to be able to see him, and Eve was happy for him. 

It was a random Saturday morning about six months from the almost-apocalypse, and Eve was doing some homework at the dining-room table, while Crowley slept. She was an early-bird, so she had most mornings to herself, as Crowley never woke up before ten. 

It was about nine, when there was a knock at the door. She wasn’t expecting anyone, and she knew that Crowley would never tell anyone to come at nine in the morning, so she peeked out of the peephole hesitantly. 

Behind the door was a man that looked to be in his mid-fifties with white blond hair, and the style of someone from the early 1900s, he even had a pocket watch. He was dressed in light shades of beige and light blue, so Eve doubted he was a demon of any kind. He was wringing his hands nervously and fiddling with a gold ring he was wearing on his pinky finger. He looked like he might own a bookshop or at least work at one, and that gave him a very non-threatening appearance, but Eve knew appearances could be deceiving.

She opened the door slowly, prepared to scream bloody murder if he tried anything. The man looked up expectantly and his eyes shot open when he saw her. He looked almost frightened now. 

“I do apologize, dear girl. I fear I must have the wrong flat.”

Eve relaxed. This was just a poor man that had probably gotten some numbers wrong looking for one of her neighbors or something of the sort. 

“Who are you looking for? I know everyone in this building, so maybe I can help you find them.”

He smiled softly at her. “Thank you very much. I’m looking for Crowley -um- Anthony Crowley, I suppose.”

Eve was tense again. There were very few good reasons for someone to be looking for her dad. “He lives here. What do you need?”

The man looked baffled. “You live with him?”

“Uh yeah.”

The man just looked at her, astonished, gaping like a fish. 

“Can I help you, sir?” Eve’s patience was starting to wear thin. He was going to need to get to the point. 

Then from somewhere over her shoulder, Crowley appeared still in his pajamas.

“Angel?!?”

The man waved and Crowley was at the door in an instant, dragging him inside. “What are you doing here?”

Eve was smiling to herself, practically giddy. “Angel” that’s what Crowley had called him. This was him. This was her dad’s mystery man. She could see it so clearly in the way Crowley looked at him. By the way he was leaning ever so slightly towards him like he was a magnet. In the fact that Crowley had miracled himself into his usual attire the moment he had realized who it was. 

The old-timey man looked sheepish. “I needed to talk to you.”

Her dad suddenly looked incredibly serious. “Did ‘they’” Crowley pointed at the sky. “say anything?”

Eve smiled at the way the man gently touched Crowley’s arm in a placating gesture. “No no. I haven’t heard anything from Heaven. This is personal.”

Crowley sagged in relief, as the man continued. “Do you think we could have this conversation alone?” He glanced at Eve. 

“Oh yeah, of course. Snakelet?”

Eve saluted and left them alone in the front hallway. That is not to say she stopped listening, though. She made it back to her room and pressed her ear to her door, knowing that the flat was small enough that she’d be able to hear their conversation. She knew she should mind her own business, but this was Crowley’s “angel” and by the conversation they had at the door he was an actual Angel. Capital “A,” wings, and a harp, Angel. And Eve was invested, sue her. 

The sound of their conversation was muffled through the wall, but Eve could make out what they were saying clear as day. 

“Crowley, why didn’t you tell me someone was living with you?” It was a clear accusation. The Angel hadn’t known about Eve until just now which means he was upset enough to pause whatever he came to say, just to get answers. That was not a good sign. 

“It wasn’t safe.”

“What do you mean?”

“I couldn’t risk Hell finding out she was here, they would’ve hurt her.”

“And you think I would’ve told someone and betrayed you like that!”

“Of courssssse not.” Crowley was hissing at this point. “I couldn’t take the chance that ssssomeone may overhear, though.”

The Angel sighed. “How long has she been living here?”

Eve couldn’t hear Crowley’s response, so he must’ve mumbled it, but boy could she hear the Angel’s.

“Six years! Crowley, you practically raised that child!”

“Why do you think it was so important to me that she was safe!?”

“You’ve had six months since the end of the apocalypse to tell me you had a daughter! Six months of it being perfectly safe to tell me! Why didn’t you?!” The anger and hurt were very prevalent in the Angel’s voice. 

“Aziraphale! I have my reasons. Can we leave it at that?”

“No! We absolutely shan’t! You don’t trust me, and that is an issue we need to deal with now!”

“You know I trust you. You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m being ridiculous!” The Angel(Aziraphale) sounded affronted. “You’re the one who hid having an entire child at home from your so-called best friend.”

“Is it ridiculous, angel!? Is it?!” Crowley sounded borderline manic. “Is it ridiculous to not want to hear my best friend tell me I’m too evil to raise a child?! Is it ridiculous to decide I’d rather you not know than not approve?! Is it ridiculous to fear that the love of my life wouldn’t want to get to know my daughter when he knows a demon raised her?!”

Eve felt a tear drip down her cheek. Crowley always kept such a tight lid on his emotions, she’d never heard him break down like this. She’d never wanted to. 

There was silence, and Eve pressed her ear closer to the door trying to hear what was happening. 

“Get out.”

“Crowley-”

“Please, Aziraphale.”

“No.” There was confidence in Aziraphale’s voice that wasn’t there before. “I came here to confess, and by gosh, I am going to follow through.”

“What-”

“Don’t interrupt me, dear.” Eve stifled a giggle. “Crowley, my dear Crowley. I’m so incredibly sorry for all of the terrible things I’ve said to you over the years. You must know I never meant them. They came from a place of fear.”

“I know, angel, I’m sorry-”

“Darling.” Even Eve could hear that this was a warning, daring Crowley to interrupt him again. “I never should have said those things, so don’t you dare apologize for being hurt. Last night I realized that I’ve never actually told you that I didn’t mean them, and I needed to clear the air…”

“...I also realized that the end of the world almost came, and I never got the chance to tell you…I’m in love with you.”

“What?”

“I’m in love with you, Crowley. Have been for millennia. I didn’t think you could ever love me back, though. I wanted to get it off my chest, knowing you wouldn’t reciprocate, but then you called me the love of your life, and well, I thought you may feel the same?”

“Of course I do. Always have. Since Eden, angel, I can’t believe you feel the same.”

“Eden? Oh wow.” Eve couldn’t be sure, but it kind of sounded like he was on the verge of tears. “You’ve always been so wonderful to me, my love, I’m sorry I didn’t return the favor.”

“Ngk- it’s fine.”

“It’s not, but I’m going to make it up to you.”

“Can I-”

“Please.” 

Eve jolted away from the door and slipped her headphones on. Something told her she did not want to hear what was coming. 

Eve played on her phone, listening to music, for about an hour before Crowley knocked on her door. During that hour, Crowley and Aziraphale could’ve shared one chaste kiss and then had an in depth conversation about their feelings, or the could’ve fucked in the living room. Eve was choosing not to think about it. If she believed that they went with the first option she’d never know any differently, and by God did she not want to know differently. 

Eve opened the door to be met with a sheepish Crowley. “Sorry to banish you to your room.”

“It’s fine. We’re even because I listened in on most of your conversation, anyway.”

Crowley lifted an eyebrow at her. “And they call me a demon.”

Eve just giggled, and Crowley smiled back.

“I’d like you to meet him. Officially, that is.”

Eve nodded. “For sure.” In all honesty, Eve really did want to meet him. She had heard so much about the Angel that she was beyond curious as to what he’d be like, and now that he was probably dating her father, even more so. 

Aziraphale was sitting on the white couch in the living room, where Eve and Crowley joined him. He looked nervous again, fidgeting with his ring, and Eve felt kind of bad. She could see this from his perspective. He’d just now gotten with someone he’d been in love with for a long long time, and learned that he had a daughter in the same breath. Now, without any preparation, he had to meet said daughter officially the same exact day. 

She sat next to him and held out her hand. “Hi! I’m Eve. It’s very nice to meet you.”

Aziraphale’s handshake was firm, but soft. “It’s very nice to meet you, my dear. I’m Aziraphale. I would like to apologize for the misunderstanding at the door.”

“It’s no problem, really.”

He giggled. “Your name is a little amusing.”

Crowley smiled. “Isn’t it?”

They shared a knowing look that Eve assumed was about the garden of Eden, as Crowley had expressed something similar to her before. About her name being amusing because he knew the first humans, she guessed it would make sense that Aziraphale was there too. She made a mental note to ask Crowley later. 

They decided to have dinner together, some leftovers Crowley had made a couple nights ago because no one seemed to want to leave, or cook. 

Aziraphale took a bite and practically moaned around his fork. Eve stared resolutely at her food trying to forget she had ever heard whatever unholy sound he’d just made. 

When she looked back up, Aziraphale was beaming at Crowley. “This is absolutely scrummy. Why didn’t you tell me you could cook?”

Crowley shrugged non-committedly, but Eve was looking between the two astonished. Crowley told her he learned to cook for Aziraphale, but had never actually gone through with it? Oh, this was hilarious. She then fixed a mischievous look at Aziraphale. “You know, he only learned to cook for you.”

Crowley hissed at her. “Shut up”

Aziraphale paid him no mind, face turning bright red. “W-what?”

“It’s true. I mean think about it, why else would he have learned? He doesn’t eat.”

“He does have you living with him.”

“Yeah, and he taught to cook because he already knew how when I showed up.”

Aziraphale turned to look at Crowley now. “Why didn’t you ever cook for me then?”

Crowley was slouching so far in his seat that it looked like he was trying to become one with the furniture. “...embarrassing.”

Aziraphale tilted his head. “What was that?” 

“It was embarrassing, okay!”

“I think it’s sweet.”

Eve fake gagged, and changed the subject, sorry she ever brought it up. She looked over to see that her dad had also fake gagged at his reaction.

Aziraphale giggled at her and Crowley, and changed the subject. “What are you studying at university, Eve?”

She smiled and Crowley rolled his eyes. Eve tilted her head at him, curious as to why that would be the reaction. He just gestured at her to continue. 

“I’m studying historical literature.”

Aziraphale’s eyes lit up, and she realized why Crowley had rolled his eyes almost immediately. 

“You don’t say. I have quite an intense interest in old literature as well. In fact, I have quite an extensive collection of first editions at my bookshop.”

Eve was right on the money with the bookstore owner assumption. “That’s amazing. I’d love to check it out sometime.”

“Of course, as long as you’re gentle with them.”

Eve nodded aggressively. “Obviously. I always felt that books have souls of their own. I would never mistreat one. Let alone a first edition.”

“I agree completely. It’s so rare I meet someone who appreciates books as much as I do.”

“Same here. Even people in my classes often read the online texts, but I feel that the real spirit of the books must be appreciated in their original form.”

Aziraphale wiggled. “Oh, I think we’re going to be good friends.” 

 

Eve fell in love with the bookshop. There was nowhere else on earth that she’d rather spend her time. She even ended up getting married there a couple decades down the line. 

The first time Aziraphale showed Eve around the bookshop, Eve was overwhelmed by the sight and smell of all of the books. Aziraphale kept his books in the best condition Eve had ever seen, and clearly cared about them very dearly. She’d never felt at home as quickly as she had in the bookshop. 

Eve ended up helping out with running the shop. Aziraphale insisted on paying her for her work, so she technically worked there, much to the jealousy of her peers at Uni. 

When Hell finally got around to kicking Crowley out of his flat (Hell was notoriously very lazy, sloth was a sin afterall), Aziraphale had offered the flat above the shop without question. Eve could see the hesitation on her dad’s face. She felt like he’d probably have stayed in his car if she wasn’t with him. But, since she was, he accepted the offer and they stayed with Aziraphale.

Eve felt bad living in the Angel’s house, and taking his resources. Especially because he didn’t stop paying her for her help around the shop, which had increased since she lived above it. She figured she was an adult, and could get her own flat and get out of their hair if she so chose. 

Between her job at the coffee shop and extra hours at the bookshop, saving up to get a shitty flat (provided she has a roommate) wasn’t too difficult. She found one nearer to the University of London, and split the cost with one of her friends. 

Crowley helped her move all of her stuff, and hugged her tightly, whispering “I’ll always be here for you. No matter what you need. There’s no shame in asking for my help.”

She thanked him, but assured him that he’d still be seeing a lot of her, as she wasn’t moving very far, and she was still going to be spending a lot of time at the bookshop. 

And she did.

Most days she would find at least an hour to come help Aziraphale. He showed her how he cataloged and organized his books. He taught her how to restore books, and how to scare away potential customers. He was lucky he was an Angel because no human could get away with owning a shop that never sold anything. She’d also started learning how to manage his real estate. Apparently, he owned basically the whole block and rented it out to the businesses there. He hated doing it, so Eve had started manning his paperwork, and found she’d learned a lot of life skills from the experience. 

It went on like this for about three years and then something happened in 2023. 

Eve had gotten her undergraduate degree, and was working on getting an internship in  book restoration for a museum, while pursuing her masters. She still spent all her free time at the bookshop, but it was getting to be less and less. 

Then, one day, Aziraphale called her from the bookshop phone. No matter how much she and Crowley tried to convince him, Aziraphale refused to get a cell phone. 

She was on her way to a class when he called, which he rarely did, so she was immediately unnerved. “Aziraphale? What’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong, my dear.” She could tell from his voice that was a lie. “Something happened. Heaven related stuff. I need you to not come by the bookshop until I tell you it’s safe.”

Eve’s eyes widened. Crowley had been talking to the new demon on Earth (Shax, if she could remember her name correctly) but that was the extent of communication either of them had with their old offices for years. 

“Have you talked to Crowley about this?”

“I’m seeing him in a minute. He’d want me to make sure that you’re safe first.”

Eve nodded. That was probably true. “Okay. No bookshop for a while.”

“Thank you, Eve. Stay safe.”

“You too.”

Eve stayed away from the bookshop for the next week or so. She wasn’t too worried because Crowley checked in often, and he didn’t seem worried about himself or her, just Aziraphale. That made her worry about Aziraphale too, but sometimes you had to prioritize certain things, and she was just relieved to know the world wasn’t in peril this time. 

When whatever had happened was over, she got a call from Aziraphale who sounded on the brink of tears. “The bookshop is yours, my dear. Please be kind to Muriel.” Then he hung up. 

Eve had no idea who Muriel was, but it sounded like an Angel name. Why would Aziraphale have an Angel in his shop? And what did Aziraphale mean when he said the shop was hers . 

She was generally very concerned, and that concern only grew when she found the bookshop empty, aside from Muriel. They were very clearly an Angel doing a very poor job of pretending to be human, and Eve thought they were sweet, but she had bigger things to worry about. 

Where was her dad? Where was Aziraphale?

She found the answer to both of those questions when the Bentley rolled up to the bookshop, her dad passed out in the back. 

He looked like Hell, no pun intended, his clothes rumpled, hair knotted, glasses lost, and there were dried tear tracks on his face. He was clutching a bottle of Talisker and whimpering in his sleep.

Eve woke him up and brought him inside to the flat to help him clean up and hopefully get some answers. 

Crowley broke down and told her that Aziraphale had left him for Heaven. Eve had never been more pissed ever in her entire life. She knew how much Aziraphale meant to Crowley, Hell, how much he’d meant to her after these last couple of years, and he left, just like that? How fucking dare he?

She was furious on behalf of her father, and for herself. He’d taken their little family and destroyed it in one simple action to return to Heaven, leaving them all on Earth. She wanted to make him pay for it, to make him hurt the way Crowley was so clearly hurting, but it’s not like she could actually do much. 

Eve’s only real revenge she could execute was selling Aziraphale’s books. Crowley told her not to, saying that when Aziraphale came back he would be upset. Eve was counting on it.

If Aziraphale didn’t come back, then he’d never care, and if he did then he deserved to be upset. Aziraphale left the bookshop to Eve, so if Eve wanted to sell his books, she could. She made sure to keep the first editions and ones signed to Aziraphale personally (it just felt wrong to sell those). Everything else was fair game, though. 

Since the bookshop was owned by Aziraphale along with everything on the block, and he’d bought it in cash in the 1800s, other than replacing the sold books with new stuff that she liked but knew Aziraphale would hate, the rest of the money made from selling books and collecting rent (only as much as his tenants offered because Eve knew that Azirphale never collected if someone was struggling and it was something she respected about him) was used to line her pockets. 

Crowley refused to live in Aziraphale’s flat anymore, moving his plants to the Bentley and sleeping there. Eve understood why he did that, but she wanted to be in the flat more than before. Seeing the flat get dustier and dustier, and look significantly less lived in broke her heart. She could see the remnants of her dad and Aziraphale around the flat, and it saddened her deeply to see it so empty, so she started spending some nights there and told Muriel they could if they wanted. 

A year had passed since Aziraphale left, and Crowley was still destroyed. A year in his lifetime was nothing, so Eve understood. She did her best to make sure he was at least alive. Occasionally, meeting up with him (almost always at the pub because it’s the only place he wanted to go) and talking with him, hoping that he’d eventually pull himself out of his slump. But she was seeing less and less of him, and it was worrying her. 

She’d also befriended Muriel, showing them human things, and even introducing them to some of their friends. She knew Muriel had to be as old as Crowley and Aziraphale in technical years, but the way they experienced everything about life, as though it was new, was so young, that Eve found that they got along very well with her young adult friends. They helped out with the bookshop, so Eve taught her everything she knew. 

One day, Muriel was out getting them lunch, while Eve ran the shop. She was reorganizing books when she heard the bell above the door. 

“Hi! Welcome i-” Her customer service voice trailed off and her voice came back as a growl. “Aziraphale.”

“Hello.”

“Hello? Hello? ”

“I believe that is still the term.”

“You leave for a year and it’s just hello ?”

“I know you’re mad.”

Eve dropped the book she was holding with a thud. “Mad? Mad doesn’t even begin to express what I’m feeling right now.”

Aziraphale put his hands up in a placating gesture, but it only served to make her angrier. “My dear, you must understand-”

“No. I don’t want to hear it. There is no excuse for what you did to him. Have you even talked to him yet?”

Aziraphale looked down. “No.”

“Well you fucking better. Now get out.”

He looked taken aback. “W-what?”

“Get. Out.”

“This is my shop.”

“Not anymore. You gave it to me. Now get out of my shop.”

Eve was panting when he left, fists curled into balls at her side, knuckles white. How dare he come back here as though he never left? Maybe a year wasn’t a long time to him, but Eve was human and a year is a long ass time to leave without warning. 

She took several breaths trying to calm her wildly beating heart. She picked up the book she dropped and dusted it off gently, whispering an apology to it. She sent a text to Crowley warning him that Aziraphale was back on Earth, so he’d be mentally prepared.  Then she started very aggressively cleaning the shop. Cleaning is often what she does to cope with her anger. 

When Muriel came back, they ate lunch together, and Eve told them about Aziraphale. 

“Aziraphale came by earlier.”

“The supreme archangel was here?”

“Yep”

Muriel looked very saddened all at once. “If he’s back on Earth, am I going to have to go back to Heaven?”

Eve reached over the table to take Muriel’s hand. They never seemed to understand physical touch very much, but Eve hoped they got the message of comfort from her gesture. 

“I won’t let Aziraphale send you back. You’re so happy here. He has to understand that.”

“Thank you, Eve.”

Eve smiled. “Of course.” 

Eve didn’t see or hear from either Crowley or Aziraphale until the following morning when they showed up to the bookshop together. Eve hadn’t gone back to her flat that night, curious to see if anything was going to happen, and she’s glad she didn’t because at 7 o’clock in the morning, the two popped up. 

Eve could see the tension between the two and figured they’d gotten into a huge fight that ended on friendly terms. It seemed like Crowley was still mad, but was willing to put it aside for whatever purpose they were currently at the bookshop for. 

Crowley asked Eve to go back to her flat and bring Muriel. Apparently apocalypse 2.0 was happening and Eve was once again expected to stay out of it and be safe.

It didn’t bother her too much, she wasn’t dying to get killed anyway (pun intended), but it was a little annoying because she didn’t want to leave Crowley in Aziraphale’s hands after his betrayal last year. Crowley looked a little better than he had, as though he’d showered and shaved, but Eve didn’t trust that Aziraphale would stand by whatever apology he had made. She didn’t know if Crowley could handle being abandoned again.

She spent the following week, worrying about her dad, yet again. She was getting fed-up with every world-ending event that the demon just had to put his life in danger to stop. She didn’t know what happened, but she saw some strange things on the news that seemed apocalypse adjacent. She stayed far away from that stuff. Crowley texted her once a day, just to check in, and she appreciated it, even if she was irritated that he never gave her any information. 

She only knew it was over because Muriel said they’d received word from Heaven telling them that both Heaven and Hell are withdrawing forces from Earth. That there was to be no interference from either place, and if they wanted to stay stationed on Earth, thay could, but they'd be required to stop acting for Heaven. 

Eve had no idea what could’ve possibly happened for this reaction, but she knew that it was good news. Crowley and Aziraphale must’ve won whatever battle they’d fought. She did hope it didn’t mean that Aziraphale was going back to Heaven, though, because that would probably kill Crowley. 

She returned to the bookshop later that day at Crowley’s behest, leaving Muriel with their roommate (they’d been getting much closer, Eve wasn’t sure if she liked that). According to Crowley’s text, Aziraphale wanted to get dinner with Crowley and her, and that they had some things to discuss. 

The restaurant that they went to was a little Italian place down the street from the bookshop. No one was talking and the silence was so insanely awkward, Eve was debating giving up all together. She could just throw herself out the nearest window and not have to have whatever conversation Aziraphale wanted to have. She wished he would just get it over with. 

“I’d like to apologize, Eve.” She silently praised whatever god had listened to her wish. 

“Why are you apologizing to me? It’s him,” she jerked her head towards Crowley, “you fucked over.”

Usually Eve tried not to curse too much in front of Aziraphale. Crowley always thought it was funny, but Aziraphale always looked uncomfortable. She didn’t like making him feel uncomfortable, so she usually tried to keep her language clean. Right now, though, she couldn't care less. 

Aziraphale winced at the language, but didn’t mention it. “I’ve already apologized to him. And,” he looked at Crowley so softly it made Eve want to throw up, “I’ll probably be making it up to him for eternity.”

Crowley returned whatever smiley nonsense Aziraphale was looking at him with and Eve cleared her throat. “That doesn’t explain why you want to apologize to me.”

“Right, yes. I left abruptly and without goodbye. I’m sure that was hard for you, especially because I put you in charge of the bookshop, very suddenly. I’m sorry for that. And… I know you’d started to allow me into your little family, and I ruined that. I’m more sorry for that than you can imagine.”

Eve nodded, and looked at Crowley. “You’ve forgiven him?”

Crowley knew her well enough to know this was her asking if she should. If Crowley was still mad, Eve had his back, but if he wanted to move on, she’d do her best. “I’m working on it.”

“Okay, Aziraphale, you’re forgiven. But you are on thin thin ice.”

“Thank you.”

The rest of the meal was still awkward, but not quite as bad as at the beginning. Eve could tell, though, that things would get better. This was a good start to moving on. 

Aziraphale and Eve rebuilt their relationship, as she worked in the bookshop. Her irritation with Aziraphale wasn’t enough to keep her away from the safehaven that was his bookshop. Crowley had moved back into the flat, so she had even more reason to be there. 

She didn’t apologize to him about selling some of the books (she stood by that decision), but he didn’t seem too mad when he realized that she kept the ones that really mattered. He certainly wasn’t happy, though. 

Crowley often hung out in the shop during the day, meaning that Aziraphale got no work done, getting distracted by the demon he’d missed so much laying out on his couch. Eve wondered how the bookshop even ran before her and Muriel. 

But, it seemed her and Muriel’s presence was starting to annoy Aziraphale and Crowley and their rediscovered relationship because within six months, they sat Eve down and told her they were moving to the South Downs, and if she wanted the bookshop would be hers again. Aziraphale took all of his important books, leaving behind very few, but enough for the shop to run, and gave her the deed in her name. The shop was officially hers, for real this time.

They had a very small going away party, complete with an opulent cake Eve knows Crowley spent a small fortune on. Then, they took all of the plants and went to live their quiet life in a much smaller town. 

Eve visited occasionally, whenever she got the chance. Which sadly wasn’t very often, so Crowley and Aziraphale came into town at least once a month to check up on her and the shop. 

Muriel lived in the flat upstairs, and helped her run the bookshop. Eve had made some select changes to the bookshop upon receiving it. She started her own collection of first editions with the ones Aziraphale left her separate from the shop (they were all her favorites). She put the collection behind glass, clearly labeled “not for sale” but everything else in the shop was, much to Aziraphale’s dismay, actually for sale.

She did however move the shop towards more book restorations. She was good at it, and her degree supported that. This way they could sustain themselves without selling as many books. The shop made most of its money from restoration projects. Eve got paid to fix up other people’s antique books. She wasn’t in the shop much because she was still pursuing her masters, but Muriel had gotten good at knowing when Eve would be able to completely restore a book and when it was too damaged to help.

Muriel had also gotten much better with people in general. Understanding how to interact with them better, and what things would be considered strange to say. Eve thought it was all the books they were reading that was helping the most. Muriel had read almost every single book in the shop at this point. 

Next, Eve added more furniture, trying to gear the shop towards a nice place for people, specifically kids, to hang out. 

It took her several years, and lots of help from Muriel, but she was able to turn A.Z. Fell and Co. into a thriving hub for queer youth. This was something Aziraphale was thrilled about. He said he’d always wanted to do something similar, which was part of the reason he’d lived in Soho (well known to be the gayest part of London), but it was too dangerous to have children too close to working Angels (“retired Angels are fine, Muriel”). 

She actually met the love of her life because of this change to the bookshop. A group of teens had brought their teacher because she ran their equality club. Eve thought she was the prettiest woman she’d ever seen in her life. Apparently the teacher felt the same, and had come back without her students to ask Eve on a date. Luckily, Eve was there and they made plans to meet up. 

The teacher, Ariel, and Eve really hit it off. Ariel taught English, so she was well versed in analysis of classics which gave them plenty to talk about. Eve felt so comfortable around her, and they started officially dating soon after. 

When Ariel proposed four years later, they decided it was a great idea to get married in the place that they met. The shop that had meant so much to Eve since she was a fresh-faced uni student. That had been important to her dad since the 1800s and meant more than anything else to Aziraphale, who she’d begun referring to as a second father figure in her head. Eve couldn’t imagine that there was anywhere better to declare her love to the world

It was a beautiful but small wedding, with only the closest of Eve and Ariel's friends and family invited. The bookshop was decorated to match the colors of the wedding, and a lot of the furniture  had been moved to the edges of the room(with Aziraphale’s help), so that they’d have more space. 

As Crowley walked her down the aisle, Eve felt like crying. This event was everything she never thought she’d have. Her lover gazed at her from the end, a parent that loved and cared about her was walking her there, and a room full of people that loved her were smiling from the rows. 

As she stood at the altar, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Crowley and Aziraphale sitting together, holding hands. She was overwhelmed with gratitude towards them and everything they’d done for her all these years. She didn’t know where she’d be if Crowley hadn’t taken her in all of those years ago. Without him, she had no doubt that the course of her life would be completely different. 

She looked back at her fiance, looking back towards her future. She looked ahead with confidence, knowing that wherever the future led, she’d always have a Demon and an Angel on her shoulders.

Notes:

Thank you so so much for reading. Comments and Kudos give me life. Love y'all <3