Chapter Text
It was quiet in the shop, which was a little unusual. The shop was never noisy, but it was also nearly always full to the brim of Aziraphale. He wasn’t there, however: he’d gone to Edinburgh to cosplay as a detective, leaving Crowley here with Jim - and he’d taken the Bentley. Crowley was still a little mystified that he’d allowed Aziraphale to take the car, but not as mystified as he probably should be. All the world knew that he was practically a slave to all of Aziraphale’s whims and desires, so really, it wasn’t even a little out of character that he’d sent Aziraphale off into the unknown with his car. What else could he have been expected to do when the angel looked at him like that?
At any rate, that left him here, alone in the shop with Jim. Crowley was still afraid of Jim - he didn’t understand what was going on with him, and he was never comfortable when he didn’t understand something. But for the moment, Jim seemed to be asleep in the room Aziraphale had given him (which had sent a flare of jealousy running through Crowley’s heart. He comforted himself by thinking at least Aziraphale hadn’t put Jim in his own room.) Crowley had no idea how long he was going to sleep, but assumed it would probably be for a few hours. Which left him alone in the shop, with nothing to do, surrounded by books. Any other time, he might pick one up and read it, but he didn’t like touching Aziraphale’s books, and he wasn’t sure his mind would settle if he tried. He didn’t feel comfortable sleeping in the same place with Gabr- Jim, so that was out. But he needed to come up with something to do to keep his mind occupied, because honestly, at the moment, it felt like it was overflowing.
He futzed around the shop aimlessly for a little while, just thinking about how empty it was without Aziraphale, and how much he missed the angel when he wasn’t around. But he felt himself getting maudlin, so he decided a distraction was in order. Crowley dug around in the back room until he found the good brandy Aziraphale kept hidden, then flopped onto the couch inelegantly and miracled a big TV directly on the desk, so he could see it. He also miracled himself a remote, and started it playing some James Bond, hoping to get lost in it while he drank and whiled away the hours. He had no intention of getting drunk - or even a little tipsy - while Jim was here, especially while Aziraphale wasn’t. But he was hoping to take the edge off -
Beside his leg, his mobile phone rang, and he puzzled at it for a moment. Who would be calling at one in the morning? Crowley flipped it over, and when he saw it was Aziraphale, he felt warring emotions. He was always happy when Aziraphale called, he loved that more than anything, but right now, Aziraphale was in Scotland... with the Bentley.... This could be bad. Really bad.
So he swiped to answer quickly with wide eyes and a sense of fear. “Hello? Aziraphale? Are you alright?”
“Of course, dear, I’m fine,” Aziraphale said, his voice crystal-clear despite coming over the telephone. “Why would you think something was wrong?”
“I don’t know,” Crowley said, settling down just a little. “I just… you have my car, and I know you don’t drive -”
“I told you that I’m quite capable of driving. Did you think I had crashed?”
“Maybe. Yeah,” Crowley admitted.
“Well, I have not crashed. I am parked on a cliff overlooking a valley, looking at the moon, and thinking.”
“Why are you parked?” Crowley asked. “I thought you were coming straight back to the shop?”
“Well, I am, but the moon is so pretty, so I thought I’d stop and rest a while -”
“In case you have forgotten, Aziraphale, we have a situation here. One that needs your attention.”
“Oh, pipe down,” Aziraphale said in his snooty voice. “I’m only stopping for a little while. Just long enough to call you.”
“Why would you need to stop to call me?”
Aziraphale clicked his tongue. “Aren’t you going to ask me how it’s going up here?”
“I don’t need to. You called me earlier. And you need to get home.”
“Alright, then, if you don’t want to ask me how things are… ask me why I called. What I’m thinking about.”
“Fine,” Crowley ground out. “I’ll play your game. Why did you call?”
“I called because I thought we could… I thought we could have a conversation…”
“About what?”
Aziraphale hesitated a moment, then said, “About us, really. I thought that perhaps it was time… I thought… Oh, bugger.” Crowley heard him take a deep breath, and then he said, “I just wanted to hear your dulcet tones, that’s all.” Playfully.
“Angel…” Crowley warned.
“Oh, do keep calling me angel, especially in that growly tone. I like it very much. Makes me terribly excited.”
Crowley’s brows knitted. He knew that tone: it meant that Aziraphale was randy and wanted to fool around. But he was in Scotland. “Have you been drinking?”
“I had a Schweppes bitter lemon at the pub I was investigating, because it seemed rude to ask questions and not buy anything, but that was hours ago and I’ve not had a drop since. That’s not why I called. I wanted to hear your voice.”
“So you’re randy?”
“Yes, I rather am,” Aziraphale said, as if happy that Crowley had caught on. “And I thought that perhaps we could do something about it.”
“Ngk,” said Crowley. They had been having sex intermittently for the last eight hundred years - since 2 August, 1258, to be exact - but Crowley hadn’t expected him to want to fool around while there was a situation. “Are you serious?”
“We’ve done it before,” Aziraphale reminded him.
“Not in -” Eight years, four months, two weeks, and a day. “- A long time.”
“Yes, we really should do it more often, I think.”
“And not by phone!”
“That’ll just make it more adventurous, don’t you think?”
Crowley sputtered for a second, completely torn and unsure what to do, and then Aziraphale went on, his voice utterly seductive. “I’m already hard, just thinking about you, dear.”
At once, Crowley was hard and straining his jeans. “Nghh. Yeah. Uh, so you’re hard?”
“I am, yes. Quite,” Aziraphale said. “Crowley, darling?”
“Yeah, angel?” he said in a somewhat croaky voice.
“Do you ever get hard thinking about me?”
“Fuck yes. All the time,” Crowley said, not even taking the time to wonder whether this was a good idea. “Sometimes I have to get rid of my effort because it just gets hard around you for no apparent reason.”
“Hmm, I have the same problem. Tell me, darling, have you ever played with yourself in the Bentley?” Crowley stumbled over his words, then Aziraphale saved him. “I suppose what I’m asking is whether she’s going to be used to someone wanking in her, or should I go sit on the hillside.”
“Ah, no. No, she’s… ah… she won’t mind. So you’re hard. Right. And, ah, what are you thinking about that’s got you that way?” he asked, petting his own cock lightly through his jeans.
“I’m thinking about the thing that always gets me hard when I think about it - you.”
“Me, huh?” Crowley said, hoping he sounded seductive and not like a tool. “What about me?”
“Oh, just how absolutely delectable you are. Do you know, I think God herself designed you to be the perfect sex machine?”
“You think so? How is that?”
“Everything about you is long,” Aziraphale said. “Your fingers are long and slender, and they feel so good running all over my skin. Your legs are long but powerful, and they help you to thrust into me. Your tongue is long and glorious - I love to feel it all over me. And your cock is long, too, long and thick. It fills me just right.” Crowley shivered. “But putting all that aside, there’s also the fact that your hips are so narrow. It helps you get in there deeper, which I love.”
He closed his eyes. “So you’re thinking about me fucking you.”
“I am, yes. But first, I’m thinking about sucking your cock. It’s all I’ve been able to think of since I’ve been in the car. And to tell the truth, it’s all I’ve been able to think of several times while you were driving and I was riding with you. Bending over and sucking you off while you drive us wherever we’re going. Oooh, darling, I want to taste you…”
“Have you got your cock in your hand?” Crowley asked, his voice grumbly.
“I do, yes. Do you?”
He didn’t hesitate to pull his cock out. “I do now. Fuck.”
“Are you imagining it’s my hand instead of yours?”
“Fuck. Yeah. I am. God, angel, your hand feels so good…”
“Mmm, my mouth is going to feel even better. And I very much want to suck you, darling… I’d like to suck you until you come down my throat. Would you like that?” he asked, his tone lilting. “Or would you rather come all over my face?”
Crowley shivered, wrapping his hand around his cock and stroking it lightly. “What am I doing to you in this fantasy of yours?”
“Oh, well, while I’m sucking you - enjoying you - you’re holding my head and fucking my face, just like I like.”
“Hmm, I like that, too,” Crowley said, eyes closed and head rocked back.
“The only problem when you’re fucking my face is that I don’t usually get to do that thing with my tongue that you like, which is a tragedy.”
“I’m having a hard time thinking of anything as a tragedy at the moment,” he said, feeling more keyed up than he had in ages. “Am I pulling your hair?”
“Oh, yes. Just a little. It’s desperately sexy. I love it so much. And you’re muttering pure filth about how much you love it, love my mouth…”
Love you, Crowley added on, inside his own mind. But there was no way he could ever say that, so he pushed it away.
“Can I tell you something, angel?”
“Hmm, yes. Tell me all kinds of things.”
“This is great,” Crowley said, still stroking his cock, running his thumb over the head. “It’s fantastic. But I want the real thing soon.”
“Oh, I do, too,” Aziraphale said. “I’m very eager to make love to you, darling.”
Crowley’s brain tripped on ‘make love’ for a moment, but Aziraphale didn’t give him time to think.
“Tell me what you want to do to me, Crowley. Tell me all the filthy, wonderful things you want to do to my body.”
He drew a shuddering breath. “First, I want to get your trousers unbuttoned, and your cock out, so I can suck it. Nothing in this fucking universe tastes better than your cock, angel, except maybe your neck.”
“Ooh, yes, my neck is a very erogenous zone. I do love when you nibble me there. But go on - is sucking my cock all you want?”
“Not even close. Once I suck you until you come down my throat, I’ll turn you around and bend you over, so I can eat your arsehole.”
Aziraphale let out a groan that seemed to come from his gut. “Will you do that thing with your tongue?”
“You know I will,” Crowley promised, his hand moving a little faster on his cock. “Fuck, angel. You know I don’t like eating, but eating your arse… I could do that five times a day and never be full.”
“Oh, Crowley, I love the way your mouth feels on my arse. I love the way you get me ready…”
“Speaking of getting you ready, I’d love to finger you right now, angel, but I think I need to fuck you immediately.”
“Yes! Yes, Crowley, please fuck me. Take that big cock and cram me full of it.”
“Fuck,” Crowley said, feeling himself teeter on the brink. “Fuck. I’m sliding into you, and your arse is so fucking tight, angel… Satan, it feels so good…”
Aziraphale was letting out little whimpering sounds of pleasure. “Crowley. Crowley, please fuck me. I’m so very close, just thinking about your cock in me… the way it stretches me… the way it fills me… please, please, I’m so close…”
“Do you want it fast or slow, angel?” Crowley ground out.
“Fuck me! Fuck me hard! Please!”
Crowley was pounding his cock now, clinging to his orgasm with the very tips of his fingers. “I will, angel. Fuck. Fuck, I’ll grab you by your lush hips and just fuck the breath out of you. Oh, bloody hell,” he groaned, pushing back his orgasm as best he could, determined to send Aziraphale over first. “Do you like it? Do you like the way I fuck you? Tell me you love it. Fuck. Fuck.”
“Oh, God, Crowley, I love it. I love the way you fuck me, like you’re staking some kind of claim to me! Ah! Ah! Fuck me more! Please! I’m going to come! Please!”
“I’d fuck you so hard, you can’t catch your breath,” Crowley promised between gritted teeth, squeezing the base of his cock to keep from exploding. “I’d fuck you until you saw stars. All those heavenly bodies - I’m going to fuck you until you see them. And then I’m going to fuck you some more, because you love it. Don’t you?”
“Ah! Ah! Crowley! Oh!” Aziraphale shouted, and then dissolved into moans and grunts, unintelligible sounds of pleasure as he came. Those sounds tipped Crowley over into his own orgasm, and he came with all the speed and force of a freight train. It blew him apart, in the best possible way, and he shuddered his climax as his semen erupted from his cock and spilled all over his shirt and hand.
The two of them were quiet for a moment, just heavy breaths that they were attempting to catch, until Aziraphale said, “My darling? Are you there?”
“Yeah,” Crowley said. “I’m here. Fuck, angel. That was -”
“It was, wasn’t it?” he said, and Crowley heard the little sound of a miracle when he cleaned himself up. It made him realize he needed to clean his own mess, so he performed a little miracle. His cock, shirt, and hand were instantly clean, and he tucked himself back in.
“Angel?” Crowley asked, feeling more vulnerable than he liked.
“Yes, dear?”
He closed his eyes and prepared himself to be brave, in spite of the fact that he expected a joke in return. “I really would like to do that more often.”
The joke didn’t come. “I would also like that, darling. And I’d like to talk to you about that when I get home. If you would be willing.”
“I’m always willing to talk to you. When are you coming home? Seriously?”
“I’m cranking the car and heading that way right now. And I promise, we’ll talk when I get there.”
“We have things we need to attend to when you get here. Serious things.”
“This is a serious thing.”
“I don’t doubt that it is, but I think we need to get Jim sorted and our old home offices off our backs before we renegotiate the arrangement and talk about having sex more often.”
“Hmm. I don’t particularly think I want to wait that long, but how about if I just say that I’ll be looking for the opportune time.”
“I think that’ll be great. Now, again, when are you getting here?”
“I’m pulling back onto the road now. I should be there a little before breakfast.”
“Angel?”
“Yes, darling?”
He felt a thrill at ‘darling’ - that was a word he never heard outside of their sexy times together. But he figured Aziraphale was just still caught in the moment.
“Drive safely, but drive quickly. We don’t have much time.”
“I’ll be there soon, darling. Get the television off of my desk before I get there, please.”
Crowley was shocked in spite of himself. “How did you-”
“You’re not the only one with a psychic connection to the earthly thing they love the most,” he said, a little wickedly. “Be there soon, love.”
Then he rang off, and Crowley just stared at the phone in his hand for a moment, wondering what the hell that had been about - and what the hell was coming.