Chapter Text
Part I
When I leave, I don't know what I'm hoping to find,
And when I leave, I don't know what I'm leaving behind.
~Rush, Analog Kid
“I don’t think you like the fact that I beat your test.”
Spock stared at the young man, too taken aback to respond for a moment. Beat the test? One did not beat a test; one passed or failed, and failure to accept the test conditions seemed to be an obvious case of failing. It was almost a moot point for that reason. A cadet’s score had little to do with whether they had saved the crew of the Kobayashi Maru or their own ship, only with how they had handled the situation.
Eating an apple in the center seat and performing “finger guns” would not have earned Cadet Kirk a high score in any event. It was a test of character, and the cadet had demonstrated none.
But hacking the Academy computers and demonstrating such disrespect had to be disciplined in some way, or the cadet—to say nothing of others—would take it as encouragement. That had been Spock’s argument and the Academy dean had accepted it.
The debate went on—and it was, somehow, a debate, rather than the trial it should have been. The cadet’s insubordination was somewhat shocking. Spock had to consciously remember not to become angry.
An aide entered, handing a note to Admiral Barnett. The admiral abruptly rose to his feet. “We’ve detected unusual subspace activity within Earth’s Oort cloud, on the fringes of the solar system. I’m giving orders for the home fleet to scramble. Might be nothing, but with the main fleet engaged in the Laurentian System, it’s protocol to arrange a robust defense. All senior cadets, report to Hangar One for ship assignments.”
Spock turned to go, but not before seeing Kirk bounding up to Captain Pike. Of course. Just as the cadet would not accept the parameters of the test, neither would he accept his own academic probation. The young man seemed to believe rules existed for other people.
“Jim, I know you care,” said Pike. “Everyone in this building cares, but I’ve got a job to do and you’re keeping me from it.”
“I’ll walk with you,” said Jim eagerly.
Pike rolled his eyes in the usual why did I recruit this kid expression. “Fine. Walk fast.”
“I need to know what kind of subspace activity we’re talking about. Chronitons, spatial folding, or what?”
“You think you’re going to solve this on the walk over? We have our best minds on it already.”
“Not if you don’t have mine.” Jim skipped a little to keep up with Pike’s long strides without taking his eyes off Pike’s face. It was no time for humility, not with a credible threat less than a lightyear away.
Pike sighed. “Apparently it looks like a lightning storm in space. Till we send a ship in close, we can’t say more.”
“A lightning storm in space,” repeated Jim. “You know what that sounds like.”
“I’m guessing that’s why the fleet scramble instead of sending out just one ship. If it is the ship that killed your father, we’ll need all the firepower we can get.”
“I’m afraid it won’t be enough,” said Jim. “The firepower that thing had—I read your thesis, you know.”
Pike spread his hands. “I don’t know what else to do. It would take a week for the main fleet to get here.”
“Distress call to Vulcan?”
“Even that’s days. And the High Council gets pretty salty when we cry wolf.”
“Best to at least keep them posted. Say we leave it up to their judgment and then if it turns out to be nothing, they’ve got nobody to blame but themselves if they sent a ship.”
“Advising on anomalies is one thing, kid, nobody at all is going to ask your advice on interplanetary diplomacy,” said Pike. Jim waited. “But fine, I’ll suggest it to Barnett if it’ll make you happy.”
“Thanks.” The massive door of the hangar yawned ahead. It could have been his first real assignment in space, the first that wasn’t a training mission. Getting out there for real, on the ship he’d always dreamed of. Out to the stars. But he’d let the Academy’s idiocy get to him a little too much, and they had to get their pound of flesh before they’d get over it. “Well, good luck.”
Pike stopped and looked at him. Jim tried and probably failed not to make puppy eyes. With an exasperated look heavenward, Pike waved him forward. “I can’t reinstate you. I’ll take you as a passenger. Not as a reward for that asshole stunt, by the way. Just because another set of brains can’t be spared in an emergency.”
“Especially not if they’re mine?” said Jim.
“Don’t push your luck.”
Spock could not restrain himself from raising an eyebrow when he saw Kirk following Captain Pike onto the bridge. “Captain. Only the board can lift an academic suspension.”
James Kirk did not belong on the bridge, Spock felt strongly. What would he do, eat an apple at the enemy? Attempt to reprogram the universe to make it easy for himself?
But Pike only said, “He's still suspended, don't worry, Spock. He's here as a consultant. If it's what I think it might be, we'll need him.”
Spock looked at Kirk, expecting a look of triumph that he had won his point and received no consequences for his behavior. Instead, Kirk seemed oblivious of the whole conversation, staring anxiously out the viewscreen.
“If he's moving inbound, we'd better be careful not to overshoot,” he said softly to Pike. One hand was on the back of the captain's chair, since he had no seat of his own.
“Captain, what do you think it might be?” asked Spock.
Pike grimaced. “I might be getting ahead of myself. Seeing what I expect to, just because it's on my mind.”
Spock waited, not looking away.
“The anomaly is similar to the one that accompanied the ship that destroyed the Kelvin,” Pike said at last. “I know, what are the odds that it would show up right when we were talking about it.”
“No higher than the odds that it would show up at any given moment,” Spock pointed out. “I cannot calculate the precise odds of the ship appearing since it has only happened once before, but it is safe to say our discussion of it could not make it less likely to appear.”
Pike half-smiled. “Can't argue with your logic. So you agree we should get there with shields up and weapons ready?”
“I would have recommended so in any case, especially given the listening post that first sent the alarm has gone dark. There is no downside to being excessively prepared.”
“Embarrassing ourselves in front of the Farragut?”
“Embarrassment is an emotion with which I am unfamiliar.”
Pike grinned. “Must be nice.” But he gave the orders to raise shields and proceed at maximum impulse.
They never made it to the coordinates of the lightning storm. They stumbled onto an active battle just inside Mars’s orbit, the home fleet’s other ships torn by a single massive, spiky ship. The ship was still moving sunward, toward Earth, batting off attacks from the home fleet like they were flies.
“That's it,” said Jim, frozen for a moment in awe. He'd seen the Kelvin’s tapes, up to the moment the last shuttle had left. He'd know that ship anywhere.
“Or a ship of the same class,” Pike pointed out.
“You really think the Romulans could build two ships like that?”
“I wouldn't have thought they could build one,” Pike muttered.
But then they were closing on the enemy, and everything was the chaos of evasive maneuvers and strafing runs. It reminded him of the Maru—the first, panicked attempt, when he'd thought it was just a matter of doing everything right.
The strange whirling torpedoes slammed into the ships of the home fleet. The Farragut hung at a skewed angle, dead in the water. A piece of the Hood’s saucer section had come off. A firework burst of life pods scattered from the Antares before it bloomed in a silent explosion.
This was real life. Those were real people. Gaila was on the Farragut.
“We are drastically outmatched, Captain,” said Spock.
“I'm aware,” Pike snapped. “Recommendations, anyone!”
“Do what my dad did while the autopilot still works,” said Jim.
“We need to do more than buy time. The Earth can't escape. The ship’s still moving. It’ll be in Earth orbit in five minutes if we can’t stop them.”
Jim wondered what the Romulans even wanted here. A total takeover? Even a ship that size wouldn't have enough ground troops for it. Maybe they were just here to smash up Earth's defenses before an occupying fleet got here. But why now, when they'd had this ship 25 years ago? Nothing had shifted recently in the balance of power, not that Jim knew of.
“Drop the black box and the subspace beacon,” Pike ordered.
Jim swallowed. So that was it, then. Twenty-five years from now, some cadet would pore over these tapes, trying to figure out what went wrong. That would be his only legacy. Just like his father, after all.
They were already inside the Moon’s orbit, though. So maybe there wouldn't still be cadets. Some historian trying to understand how the Romulan occupation had happened so fast.
Around him, consoles burst and the ship shuddered with impact. “We've lost phasers!”
“Hull breach on deck six!”
“Torpedo tubes are jammed!”
“They're trying to disable us,” said Jim, half to himself. “Why, when they shot to kill with the others?”
“They’ve lowered some kind of pulse device into Earth’s atmosphere,” said Spock. “Its signal is interfering with communications and transport abilities.”
“We’re being hailed!”
It was him, the Romulan from the Kelvin. Not similar, the exact same. No one had ever seen Romulans before that attack, and no one had seen them since. They never made visual contact. Another way this ship was different.
“I do not speak for the Empire,” the Romulan was saying. “I stand apart, as does your Vulcan crewmember, isn’t that right, Spock?”
“I do not believe that you and I are acquainted.”
“No, we're not. Not yet.” Nero sneered, enjoying his moment. “Spock, there's something I would like you to see. I’m doing it just for you. Your transporter has been disabled. I want you to man a shuttle and come aboard the Narada.”
Spock’s face was blank, confused. He turned to Pike. “Sir—”
“I’m not in the habit of giving up my crew members,” said Pike.
“Look at the rest of your armada,” said Nero. “You have no choice. Send Spock or I destroy the Enterprise. If I know you at all, Spock, you won’t say no.”
The viewscreen blanked, and Spock turned to the captain. “Permission to leave the bridge.”
“Denied,” snapped Pike. “I’m not having you—”
“Sir, it is obvious that one man—”
“It’s not a matter of one man!” The force in Pike’s voice stunned Spock into silence. “Here’s one rule they don’t teach you in command training, but which has always served me well. If you’re facing an implacable enemy and they want one thing . . . don’t give it to them! Right now we have absolutely nothing we can do to this ship except refuse to comply. I have no idea what he wants you for, but I’m not playing.” He got to his feet. “Follow me. Who has hand-to-hand combat training?”
“I do, sir,” said Sulu.
“You come too, then. And Jim, we may as well give you something to do.” The four of them piled into the lift, heading down to the shuttle bay.
“I do not understand your intent,” said Spock.
“It’s this simple. Nero’s given us exactly one opening to get off this ship and not get killed. He’ll be expecting a shuttle. We’ll send one. Kirk, Sulu, you’ll be space jumping from the shuttle onto the pulse device. Grab Olson, too, he’s our best. Nero will be watching the shuttle; he’s unlikely to detect individual life forms at that range. Land on the platform, disable it, then the Enterprise will be able to beam you back up. I have no idea what the hell that thing is, but it’s pointed at the Earth and it has to be our number one priority to shut it down.”
“But sir,” said Jim, “who’s piloting the shuttle?”
“Here’s your deck,” said Pike. “Out. Meet me in the shuttle bay in five.”
The lift continued downward. “Captain,” said Spock, already guessing the answer, “who is piloting the shuttle?”
“Can’t be you,” said Pike. “Whatever he wants from you, we can’t give you up.”
“Will he not become suspicious if the shuttle does not arrive promptly?”
“Oh, it will arrive.”
“Captain, you cannot—”
“Rule of command they won’t tell you at the Academy, number two. You never order a man into danger you can’t face yourself.”
“To hazard our captain —”
“I’m no more special than anyone else,” said Pike. “Commanding this ship is useless if we can’t take down that device. Don’t worry, by the time I arrive, the drop team will be well out of sight. I’ll come out firing, I promise you that.”
They were in the bay now, and Spock did not know how to maintain his logic in the face of such rapid disaster. Pike had been his mentor for his entire career. He was the only one who had ever made Spock feel as though he naturally belonged.
“Don’t cry for me yet, Spock—”
“I am not crying.”
“—this isn’t a suicide mission. Once the platform is down, you’ll have a chance to come and get me. Your primary goal, of course, is to protect Earth. To stall him as much as you have to until the main fleet arrives, or aid from Vulcan. If all else fails, fall back to the Laurentian system and join the main fleet.”
“I do not know if I am capable of commanding the ship through this complex of a situation,” Spock pleaded. It was a transparent argument, and Pike had to see right through it. “Your expertise cannot be sacrificed.”
“Ah, but I’m leaving you the one person I know who’s best at flying by the seat of his pants. Jim Kirk.”
“The cheater.”
“I trust him, Spock, I’m asking you to do the same. Use him for whatever you can. We’re going to need unconventional solutions today.” He lifted his head, seeing the three spacesuited officers coming into the bay at a run. With a last rueful smile, he squeezed Spock’s shoulders. “Wish me luck.”
“I do not believe in luck.”
“Then make your own.” Pike swung himself into the shuttle, and Spock made his way back to the bridge, carefully collecting himself and restoring his logic. The mission was all. His feelings could wait.