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Self admittedly, Robin wasn’t a huge fan of Steve at the moment. Her ideal Friday was seeing a movie, or getting high in Steve’s backyard. She would much rather be working all night or having a family dinner than go to a football tailgate.
Yet, she was at a football tailgate, not against her will.
But, Steve was her only friend her age, after Eddie had passed away and Nancy had mysteriously stopped associating with them. So, she did what he wanted as long as he agreed to buy her dinner.
Roughly two dozen cars were parked around her in the Hawkins High parking lot. Their trunks were exposed, with cases and kegs of beer spilling out of most. Blaring speakers blasted the top 40 hits. About every 10 cars two teens were having a steamy makeout session on a hood. It was the most obnoxious thing Robin had ever been a part of, but her ride was lost in the sea of drunks, leaving her stranded.
She pressed her back against the front of Steve’s BMW, hoisting herself up onto the roof. A gentle wind blew towards her, rustling her hair over its natural part, something that she didn’t choose to fight. She took a puff from her pen, letting the smoke float away in the wind. For a September night, the weather could have been worse. A slight chill nipped at Robin’s nose,blushing it ever so faintly, but other than that the weather was almost perfect.
“Mind if I sit?” A girl’s voice, sweet and charming, rang behind her ears. Robin didn’t even process the fact that the voice was aimed at her until a slim figure slipped into her peripheral. Robin turned around to meet the gaze of Nancy Wheeler.
They had known each other well, once. Back when the only looming threat bigger than tailgates was the destruction of the world and everyone in it. Robin had vowed to keep that girl safe when they, quite literally, were trudging through hell. Robin had overanalyzed every mundane glance and prolonged touch Nancy threw her way, hoping they were signs of mutual lust. They, decidedly, were not. But since then, they had barely talked. Since everyone recovered, Nancy had chosen to go back to her regular life for senior year.
“Oh yeah- uh sure- be my guest.” Robin moved herself closer to the edge as she spoke, swiping her cigarette case and lighter from the hood next to her and stuffing them in her jacket pocket. Nancy pulled herself up next to her.
“Thanks-” Nancy smiled, and there was something very calming about that, something beautiful and inviting. “This honestly really isn’t my scene.”
A few months ago, when her life was in danger, Nancy hadn’t really seemed like a party girl. But now, Robin couldn’t help but be a little taken aback. Since she’d morphed back into a normal person, not a sharp-shooter, she’d become the face of Hawkins High spirit. She sported a green sweatshirt with the school’s logo pasted on the front, and a pair of white shorts and converse to match. Her curls were tied back into a loose pony, showcasing her elven features.
Nancy had never been unattractive. Surely a bit of a try-hard, kind of unlikeable, but even when she wasn’t ‘cool’ she was still pretty. And then, she'd clearly grown since freshman year. Near death experiences tend to do that to a person. Change them, that is.
Robin never expected Nancy to stay the same, but she had expected Nancy to keep in touch. Now, she knew her name, but barely anything about her.
“Really?” Was all Robin had to reply with. Nancy let out a soft giggle.
"Yeah, I hate all of the noise.” She admits, “Reminds me of the upside down, you know?”
Robin chided, “A football game isn’t really the best place to get away from noise, Nancy.”
Nancy looked up at her and frowned. Her pink lips folded down, crescent shaped and somber. “I know. But I don’t want to miss it while I still have a chance.”
Robin really couldn’t argue with that logic. In a way, that rang true when it came to her feelings for Nancy. Of course she had liked Nancy over spring break, how could she not? Part of it still lingered, and Robin feared it always would. That might have been why she let Nancy stay with her that night.
They sat in uncomfortable silence while Robin took another hit. “Can I ask you something?” She asked, letting curiosity take over. Of course she wanted to know why Nancy stopped talking to them, partly out of care and partly out of morbid infatuation.
“I think I owe you at least one answer.” Nancy offered, slipping her hands into the pocket of her hoodie. It was too big for her, Robin figured it was a guy’s.
“Why did you stop talking to me?” She caught herself slipping, jumping to correct it, “I mean, us?
“I needed time to figure myself out.” Nancy started. “There were so many things that I just didn’t have figured out, and I didn’t want you guys to have to deal with that while you healed.”
“Have you figured them out yet?” Robin offered Nancy her pen, she just shook her head in dismissal.
“I think so. I figured out why I didn’t love Jonathan anymore. I figured out how to deal with the dreams. I feel better.” Nancy slid her hand out of her pocket to grip the car’s hood.
“I’m happy for you, Nance. I really am.” Robin said, looking down at her feet.
“I actually wanted to talk to you,” Nancy spoke in a whisper, for only Robin to hear, “About why I broke up with Jonathan.”
Why the fuck would she want to talk about Jonathan? Robin Buckley was the worst person to go to for boy advice. But who was she to refuse?
“Go for it.” Robin offered.
“Jonathan was like, really sweet, he was. But I couldn’t shake this dread whenever I saw him. I thought it was because we went through a trauma together, but then I realized something.” Nancy took a deep breath, her hands turning white around her knuckles, “I realized it was because I really liked someone else.”
It didn’t take long for Robin to put it together. “You still like Steve, don’t you?”
Nancy practically jumped to deny Robin’s assumption, faced blushed pink like a pretty rose. “No! No not at all! It’s just someone I never thought I could like in that way. But now that I’m better, I think I should tell them before I regret it.
“Bulletproof philosophy right there, Wheeler. You should tell him.” Robin chuckled, taking another hit and putting the pen in her pocket. When she looked at Nancy, she was just looking up at her with her gorgeous eyes starting to well. Nancy just held her gaze, fully and completely. She looked like her soul had just left her body, leaving an empty carcass in the form of Nancy Wheeler.
“Nance?” Robin spoke again, raising an eyebrow.
“Robin.” She stated it like a fact. Like Robin’s own name was a meaningful statement that had intrinsic value.
“Is there something wrong with him?” Robin inquired further.
“There is no him .” Nancy said, and the world started spinning. For a split second, Robin felt like her feelings could be shared. Like all of the stolen glances and gentle touches weren’t just things she made up to quell her fear. She had fallen for Nancy Wheeler in the upside down, but until now, it seemed impossible that Nancy Wheeler could’ve like her back.
“What then,” Robin joked to repress the wild idea forming in her brain, “Is it a human? Or did you fall in love with journalism or life or some bullshit like that.”
Nancy didn’t answer again, she just kept her gaze locked on Robin.
“Come on, spill, Nance.” Robin pried again, refusing to let herself succumb to the images floating through her brain. The still shots of her and Nancy having a life together, domestic and happy.
“Robin.” Nancy repeated.
“What!? Why won’t you tell me? You can’t just ask me for advice and not tell me wh-”
“It’s you! There I fucking said it.” Nancy yelled, slipping off the hood of the car and onto the grassy knoll they were parked in front of. After letting the information seep into her brain for a short moment, Robin lept to chase after her.
“Nance, wait!” She called as she caught up, barely grabbing onto Nancy’s wrist and spinning her around. Their faces were two inches apart. Foggy, deep, breaths saturated the space between them.
“Try it again.” Robin whispered, loosening her grip.
“I like you, Robin. I just didn’t want to get closer and ruin everything until I was healed. I understand if you don’t like me like that, trust me. I just wanted to tell you, ya know? Before I regretted keeping my mouth shut.”
Robin felt a smile creep onto her lips, like it did the first time Nancy Wheeler’s hand had grazed hers. In honesty, she had given up on all hope of anything ever happening with her and Nancy. But now, Nancy stood inches away from her, close and real and there. Robin did what she felt she had to, to try to prove to herself that she was awake.
She placed her hand on Nancy’s waist, resting it on the thick material of her hoodie. Slowly, she drew Nancy in and mumbled, already anticipating, “Tell me to stop if you want.”
“No.” Nancy returned, grabbing Robin’s cheeks and pulling her into the kiss before Robin could even get the chance to close the gap herself.
It was exactly how Robin had imagined kissing Nancy would feel like. Grounded yet airy, like a hyper-realistic dream. Robin couldn’t imagine how anything else could live up to locking lips with Nancy Wheeler.
Robin let Nancy pull her face away but held her body close, like a memento she had earned. Nancy pushed a strand of Robin’s hair behind her ear before speaking.
“Do you wanna try this out? You and me?” She asked, eyes not meeting Robin’s.
“Absolutely.” Robin answered, taking Nancy’s hand and leading her back to the crowd.