Chapter Text
“We had no other choice, Jennie. Those… questionable comments were spreading around like wildfire. What would’ve happened if your grandfather heard? Or your sister? You should know how to put family above everything.” The patronising tone made Jennie clench her jaw. “You have to understand that your father and I just want what is best for you.”
“Right. Sending me to the other side of the world was best for me. Got it.”
“We had to keep the situation under control.”
“It wasn’t the situation though, was it? Because I told you nothing happened,” Jennie scoffed. “It was me. I was the one you wanted to control.”
“You chose the university and got the degree you wanted. We didn’t force you to do anything.”
“I’m not talking about the degree!” Jennie yelled with frustration. “You wanted me gone. You thought that making me disappear would solve everything. That’s exactly what makes both you and dad utter cowards.”
“Being against abnormal behaviour does not make us cowards, Jennie Kim.”
And in that moment, her mother stopped looking like family.
Jennie had felt confident when she announced her return to the dating world.
It wouldn’t have been the first time she attempted to find someone compatible by going out and testing the waters with different people each night. She had gone through the process before, which was what had led her to her now ex-boyfriend.
Jennie initially met Taeyang on the set of a photoshoot she was monitoring, and it didn’t take long for him to ask for her number. She had been smitten by him the first time they went out together, and that was when she realised that she did not want to meet anyone else.
Fast forward three years and they were no longer together, but Jennie still remembered the feeling of just knowing that she had found the right one. Someone that she would want to see again, over and over. Someone that she would never get tired of talking to. Someone that could easily win her heart.
Clearly, Taeyang had not been the right one for good, but Jennie didn’t necessarily have to think that far ahead. She just needed to find a connection, and time would deal with the duration of said connection.
When she first told Chaeyoung about her plans, her friend had been beyond ecstatic. She had immediately pulled up the social media profiles of numerous acquaintances she had, insisting that it didn’t hurt anyone to have plenty of options.
Jennie had to thank her for making the job of looking for potential dates a little easier, but she was very stern about the type of people she was willing to reach out to.
“I don’t want to talk to anyone that doesn’t live in Seoul.”
That was her first condition. Chaeyoung had huffed and sulked as she scrolled past all the usernames of her friends back in Australia, as well as some relatives and friends from distant cities in South Korea.
Jennie didn’t want to try a long-distance relationship, especially not with someone she had not met before. She wasn’t against that type of relationship itself, but she was fairly sure that she would do a terrible job at keeping the romance alive with someone she couldn’t see regularly. It was a risk that she was not willing to take.
“You don’t even know who this man is!”
It should have been pretty obvious that Jennie was NOT meeting total strangers. Even if it was the friend of a friend of a friend, Jennie needed some sort of guarantee that the person she would be going on a date with was a decent human being.
And so, the pretty guys and girls that neither of them could vouch for were excluded.
“You said she dated a woman before, right?”
Most of the female profiles that Chaeyoung showed her were of girls that she confidently knew were open to dating, well, other girls. Unless Chaeyoung could confirm that they were not exclusively into guys, Jennie would give the girls a solid pass for her own sake. She did not want to deal with the whole ‘I’m straight’ rejection if she could avoid it, especially the ‘I’m straight but I wouldn’t mind giving it a try’. They always minded at the end, from Jennie’s experience.
Eventually, as they started to gather profiles of people Jennie liked enough to contact, a list of possible dates was created.
It wasn’t an extensive list, really. There were less than ten names she had noted down, and Jennie was not even completely certain that she wanted to meet all of them. Well, truthfully, she was not even sure if she wanted to message them. She had never felt the need to slide into the DMs; the thought alone made her feel like she was doing something she was not supposed to.
Therefore, Chaeyoung did the messaging for her. She didn’t directly ask for a date, but rather initiated the ‘I have a single hot friend that you might be interested in’ type of talk. It was mostly to find which candidates were actually interested in dating. Some of them replied immediately questioning ‘how hot?’, which Jennie found a little off-putting, while others left Chaeyoung on read, which did not make her friend happy at all.
In the end, she ended up with three people she had a shot with.
The first guy was, ironically, a model like her ex-boyfriend. His profile was a mixture of professional photoshoots and pictures of seemingly expensive vacations. He was the type of guy that travelled a lot for pleasure, which Jennie found quite unimpressive.
Chaeyoung met the guy through her sister, although she never had a proper conversation with him. To ensure she knew as much as possible before meeting him, Jennie even messaged Alice to ask how they knew each other and whether he was as nice in person as he sounded online. The older girl vaguely confirmed it, stating that they went on the same holiday abroad with a group of shared friends once.
“I don’t remember much other than all of my single friends drooling over that guy. I think he was alright.”
That was all the information Jennie had received from Chayeoung’s sister. It wasn’t a solid green light, but it was enough for Jennie to give him a chance.
He invited her to dinner.
It was the typical restaurant set-up with a medium-rare steak and red wine. For some reason, it was exactly the type of date that Jennie associated with his social media profile.
He was initially very nice.
He introduced himself as Rowoon, and Jennie couldn’t help but notice how he looked like some sort of celebrity from every angle when she met him in person. He had the height and the deep voice, ticking every single box of her teenage dating standards.
The first issue was that Jennie was not a teen anymore, and her standards had changed quite a bit since then.
Rowoon liked to speak a lot about himself. Jennie wouldn’t have minded that if it wasn’t for the fact that he also loved to cut off her sentences every single time she opened her mouth. She wanted to get to know him, but she couldn’t say the same for him.
Jennie doubted he even remembered her name.
“Have you ever gone scuba diving? When I was in Hawaii…”
It got harder and harder to give him her complete attention. The stories he told were extremely repetitive, though Rowoon was entirely oblivious to it. He mentioned some sort of special, unique experience he had in some foreign country he visited, and then proceeded to boast about it for the next ten minutes or so. Over and over again.
Jennie was getting tired of it.
She quietly nodded her head from time to time, and apparently that was enough of a signal for Rowoon to continue speaking about anything he wanted. The food was decent at least, although she was never the biggest fan of steak. Rowoon couldn’t have known since he never bothered asking what she wanted to eat, but he sure did remember to share his lovely anecdote about the luxury meal he had at Gordon Ramsey’s restaurant in London last year.
Jennie finally had a break from Rowoon’s stories when the sommelier approached their table. As soon as the wine topic came up, Rowoon used it as an excuse to show off his knowledge of fine wine that he claimed he had gained during a trip to France. Jennie felt particularly proud of herself when she refrained from correcting his horrible pronunciation of French wines. He probably wouldn’t be interested in knowing she spent three years studying in Paris either, not when he asked her if she had ever visited the country and proceeded to ignore her yes to continue the conversation with the sommelier. Poor guy, Jennie thought.
Rowoon’s voice started to fade into the background when Jennie heard her phone buzzing. As discreetly as possible, Jennie reached on the back of her chair to grab the side of her coat. She pulled out the device from her pocket and tapped on the screen to see her notifications.
A smile appeared on her lips when she read Lisa’s name on her recent messages.
Lisa
how is your date going?
19:14
They had finally got around to exchanging numbers after Lisa had rightfully pointed out that she had no way of contacting Jennie back at the café. Initially, Jennie simply asked Lisa to text her when she had an evening shift (without her manager) and felt lonely. The girl had teased her that the offer had very dirty connotations, which Jennie did not hesitate to deny.
Surprisingly, Lisa had asked Jennie how she was planning to start dating again a couple of days back. Jennie had almost forgotten that Lisa was the first person she had announced her intentions to, and so, after some initial confusion, Jennie had told her about her upcoming date with Rowoon.
Lisa wished her the best, but Jennie’s evening was proving itself to be a fucking disaster.
Jennie
absolutely terrible
19:15
Lisa’s reply was almost immediate, and Jennie had never been so glad to have a distraction. Rowoon did not seem to notice at all as he had already trapped the sommelier into his storytelling.
Lisa
what’s terrible about it?
19:15
Jennie
him.
19:15
Lisa
is he being creepy?
do you need me to come and rescue you?
19:15
Jennie
please :(
19:15
Lisa appeared to be typing for a few seconds, and then she went offline without sending a reply. Jennie sighed and held her phone on her lap, returning her bored gaze to the most self-centred man she had the displeasure to meet.
At last, the sommelier managed to escape Rowoon’s trap as he took Jennie’s quick order and left a little too hurriedly. Rowoon stopped talking mid-sentence and followed the retreating figure with disappointed eyes.
“I was just getting to the good bit!” he complained.
Jennie rolled her eyes, but she saved her insults for another time. She had to prepare herself for yet another extensive listening session with no input.
Unexpectedly, Rowoon went silent for a few seconds. Jennie raised a brow in question as he continued to stare at her with an indecipherable look. There seemed to be a glint of amusement in his eyes, which Jennie could not explain.
Not until he opened his mouth again.
“Jennie, I’ve been meaning to ask…” he started slowly, and Jennie could not even feel impressed that he recalled her name before the end of his sentence filled her with dread.
“You’re Taeyang’s ex, right?”
Fuck my life.
It seemed like her night was about to get ten times worse.
“I’m sorry?”
Please, please, please… this is not happening.
“Yoo Taeyang?” Rowoon had this over-confident smirk that Jennie was dying to wipe off his arrogant face. He knew exactly what he was doing. “We worked together before. Modelled for Calvin Klein, you know?”
No, Jennie did not know and was not keen to know either. She tightened the grip on her phone below the table in a weak attempt at controlling her growing annoyance.
“Right. I see.”
The buzzing of her phone continued, but Jennie was too occupied with keeping herself together. What exactly were Rowoon’s intentions?
“We used to be together, yes. Does that answer your question?”
Rowoon chuckled and leaned back on his chair, sporting a grin that Jennie could only describe as evil.
“I bet he was a shit boyfriend. The asshole stole one of my modelling gigs once, can you believe it?”
Yes, Jennie was desperate to answer. Considering Rowoon’s behaviour throughout the dinner, Jennie was not surprised that his intrusive questions originated from a petty grudge. Even when she didn’t feel as fond of him, Jennie had to admit that Taeyang was incredibly professional toward his modelling career, and he was a pleasure to work with. Jennie had never been unlucky enough to have Rowoon model for a campaign of hers, but she had no doubt that he was a nightmare on set.
Jennie swiftly unlocked her phone as Rowoon’s complaints continued, and she scanned the unread messages from Lisa before typing a reply of her own.
Lisa
sorry, a customer just came in
19:18
Lisa
i’m working until 11, do you want to drop by after?
ryujin’s shift ended already if you’re worried about that
19:18
Lisa
jennie?
i hope everything is okay.
19:19
Jennie
call me right now
19:20
The default Samsung ringtone had never sounded better to Jennie’s ears. She let her phone ring for a few seconds, enough for Rowoon to shoot her an accusing glare. She didn’t take her eyes off his as she accepted the call and raised her phone to her ear, making the device visible to her date.
“Hello?”
“Jennie? Are you alright?”
Lisa’s agitated tone made her sound rather worried, and Jennie felt guilty about her last few text replies that didn’t give away much context.
“What was that? You need me to come right now?”
“Uh,” Lisa paused on the other end of the line, probably piecing the clues together. “Ah yes, immediately. The cat is sick.”
“Not the cat!” Jennie exclaimed dramatically, slapping her free hand on the table for effect. Lisa’s quiet laugh only made it harder to keep the act together. “Is there no one else that can take care of it?”
“Nope, you’re my only hope. I need you right here, right now.”
Jennie really, really tried her best to hold back her snort. Lisa was enjoying her part a little too much.
Rowoon was not stupid enough to stop her when Jennie stood on her feet and grabbed her purse. Whether or not he was offended by the pretty obvious excuse to leave was not Jennie’s greatest concern at that moment.
“Don’t worry, I’m on my way.”
“See you soon, Jennie.”
----
For her first attempt at a date after her breakup, Jennie thought it could have been worse. Naturally, it was rather unpleasant to be used as a pawn to spite her ex over a feud she didn’t even know had existed. But Rowoon could have spent a lot more time talking about Taeyang if Jennie had not escaped in time, and that would not have been an ideal conversation topic.
Lisa had been an absolute lifesaver that night. After the impromptu phone call, Lisa had reassured her that there was no need to actually come by her workplace as long as Jennie was safe from the terrible date. And Jennie knew that she had no reason to visit Lisa after her disastrous evening was over, but somehow she couldn’t stop herself from wanting to see the girl and tell her everything that was going through her mind. Lisa was such a good listener, and she didn’t give textbook advice or empty words of comfort when Jennie didn’t need them.
“You’ll have better luck next time,” was all that Lisa offered. Jennie really wanted to believe it.
The next time came sooner than Jennie imagined.
Her second date, also a guy, messaged her a week after her fiasco with Rowoon. He politely asked her if she was free to meet him in person during the weekend, and Jennie had replied that she was free on Saturday night after looking through his Instagram profile to refresh her mind about who exactly he was.
Kim Jongin was a really attractive man. He had neatly combed hair that sometimes fell gracefully over his pretty forehead, giving the mature man a rather innocent vibe. He was really soft spoken and had a cheerful laugh that melted Jennie right to the core.
The problem with Jongin was that he was—for lack of a better word—quite boring.
The man invited Jennie to dinner just like Rowoon and plenty of other guys had done before. Jennie never minded nice food, but she really would appreciate it if men could offer more than just a dinner. She wasn’t asking for much, but a flowing conversation was the bare minimum to determine whether or not she felt a connection.
Jongin was lovely, but frankly, Jennie had to initiate every single talk they had. She was perplexed by the fact that he had appeared confident over DMs, but his actual self was timid and reserved. She wondered if the person that messaged her was someone else entirely, perhaps a good friend that wanted him to go out more, his version of her Chaeyoung.
Jennie didn’t feel uncomfortable, just plain awkward. She liked to speak, but she also liked to receive responses that were longer than five words at best. Appearance wise, Jongin was extremely handsome. Teenager Jennie would have fallen in love with him at first sight. But adult Jennie was more than aware that looks meant nothing if she couldn’t feel something while they spent time together.
And to be completely transparent, Jongin didn’t seem to be that interested in her. He had not attempted to impress her at any point during their date. His compliments also felt very forced, almost as if he was doing it out of courtesy.
When he casually told her ‘your hair looks nice’, Jennie noted that he struggled to even look her in the eyes. It wasn’t because he was being shy, no… Jongin was desperate to hide his inexperience in flirting.
Kim Jongin was not interested in dating at all, Jennie found out at the end of the night. Or at least, he was not interested in dating women.
Jennie understood his situation perfectly, and for the first time that night, Jongin decided to speak sincerely about who he really wanted to be on a date with. Jennie simply listened to him as he spoke his heart out. She understood the frustration, she recalled the pain of going through the same story with different characters.
“When I was younger, I always felt lucky I was attracted to boys,” she had confessed at some point. It was a rather intimate thought to share, but she felt like Jongin needed to hear it. “I wasn’t only into boys, but I used to think it was enough to pretend I was. In my head, I wasn’t lying to myself nor anyone else, just being… selective. Kinda like loving both mint chocolate and vanilla ice cream, but only ever eating the vanilla because that’s what everyone found acceptable.”
The silly analogy made Jongin smile just slightly. “Did that work out?”
“Definitely not,” Jennie laughed. “Pretending I was straight did not stop me from liking girls, and it became very difficult to act as if I was not interested in them. Yeah, I could exclusively date boys and eat vanilla ice cream for the rest of my life, but that would mean that I’d have to give up on a whole other part of myself for the sake of making everyone happy. So, I just stopped doing it.”
“Even when it meant losing your loved ones?”
“If not being able to dictate how I should feel was all it took to lose them, then they were never my loved ones to begin with,” Jennie shrugged. “It wasn’t something for me to change, but rather for them to accept. ”
It was not everyone that Jennie cared about—just her parents. She had tried so hard to keep the image of a perfect girl in front of them, purely because they made her believe she would bring shame to the family if she did otherwise. But it turned out that Jennie felt more ashamed of pretending to be… someone she was not.
Jongin seemed pleased with her answer, leaning back on his chair and loosening the tie around his neck. He began to feel more relaxed, and Jennie finally found herself entertained, even if it wasn’t the ending that she had expected.
To conclude, Jennie’s second date was not totally a disaster, it just resulted to be a very platonic one. Jongin had no chance of becoming the love of her life, but Jennie had not unfollowed him from her socials and neither did he.
----
Lisa
was tonight any better?
22:42
Jennie
yeah, you could say that
22:44
Lisa
second date soon?
22:44
Jennie
he’s not interested
22:44
Lisa
but you said it was a better date??
22:45
Jennie
he’s gay
22:45
Lisa
oh
strike 2 then
22:45
Jennie
still working?
22:50
Lisa
nope
22:50
Lisa
come hang out at mine if you want?
22:51
Jennie
on my way
22:53
----
Lisa had the nerve to laugh at the retelling of her second date. Jennie had scoffed and insisted that she had no way of knowing that the man was gay, not when he had been nothing but charming over text. She didn’t even feel offended that Jongin used her to cover up another date he had with a guy the following week, instead she gladly cheered him on.
What Jennie found hurtful was the fact that it was her second consecutive failure. She didn’t necessarily have high hopes for these spontaneous dates, but she had not expected to have such little success in finding decent people to spend time with. It was obvious that Jongin was not bad company, but in the end, he wasn’t a good romantic date.
“Third time lucky,” Lisa had told her while Jennie slumped on the girl’s sofa with a defeated frown.
Or third strike and out, Jennie wanted to add, but she didn’t want to risk the possibility of her words becoming reality.
Her last date was with a girl, which made Jennie feel extra nervous.
Jennie had never been with a girl officially. She had her first, well, everything with a girl during her stay in France, and they had continued seeing each other with no intention of getting into a relationship. When she had returned to Seoul, she only had a few flings before she met Taeyang and settled for the next three years.
“Whoa, you’re stunning!”
Park Sooyoung was… tall. That was the first thing Jennie noticed when the girl stood up from her seat and leaned down to hug her warmly. And to be fair, Jennie should get used to being around taller girls given that her best friend and favourite fast-food employee were both giants.
“I could say the same for you,” Jennie replied shortly after she took a seat on the empty stool next to her date. “You’re… wow.”
Had Jennie always been so bad at flirting?
Sooyoung’s gentle giggle made her feel a little less embarrassed about her failed attempt at a compliment. Jennie followed with her awkward laugh, struggling to meet Sooyoung’s curious eyes.
Park Sooyoung was simply beautiful, inside and out.
When she had received the address of a bar as the location of their date, Jennie had felt a little sceptical. She had always been cautious about meeting new people in the presence of alcohol, and she might have felt a bit too paranoid before leaving. She sent Chaeyoung the address via text, email, voice note, and even wrote it down on a sticky note attached to the fridge to ensure her best friend had the place memorised in case she went missing. She had also printed out a screenshot of Sooyoung’s Instagram profile and scribbled ‘this is the last person I was seen with—in case the police asks’ at the back, ignoring her friend snickering in the background as she reminded her that Sooyoung was a friend of hers from a previous part-time job.
Better safe than sorry.
Surprisingly, Sooyoung took less than five minutes to grab the entirety of Jennie’s attention. The way she spoke was so captivating that Jennie would not have minded quietly admiring her for the rest of the evening. Sooyoung always made sure to pause and let Jennie contribute to the conversation (unlike date one), and if Jennie ran out of things to say, the girl would come up with a random topic very naturally (unlike date two).
Learning about Sooyoung’s life had also piqued Jennie’s interest. She was an emerging actress that spent her free time volunteering at animal shelters, and from time to time she liked to have a good drink to loosen up, hence the bar date.
Jennie had to stop herself from blushing profusely when Sooyoung’s fingers ‘accidentally’ brushed against her hand and remained in contact with her skin, lightly playing with Jennie’s index. The problem was that Jennie had to look down to avoid meeting Sooyoung’s eyes, and that meant that she had a clear view of the girl’s long legs that Jennie could only dream of having. The short purple dress was not leaving much to imagination.
“It’s the alcohol,” Jennie would lie when Sooyoung pointed out her reddening cheeks. It didn’t matter that the excuse was blatantly obvious because Sooyoung enjoyed seeing her flustered.
God, this woman knew how to play the game.
When Jennie was invited to dance, she declined as politely as she could.
Dancing meant being pressed up against the girl who exuded sex appeal, and that was probably not a good idea.
Except that Park Sooyoung did not accept rejection so easily.
She had, very respectfully, tugged Jennie towards the dance floor until Jennie stopped resisting and willingly followed her lead. Men had been easier to deal with because Jennie automatically held her guard up ten times higher based on her experience with disrespectful idiots, and she had never been wrong in doing so. But girls… girls made Jennie feel weak all over. Perhaps it was the fact that they could tell how Jennie felt without any words being exchanged.
And Jennie knew that she could not hide how much she was attracted to Sooyoung when the girl danced so sensually against her… with her, eventually. Oh, Jennie liked that more than she should have.
And when Sooyoung suggested to get out of there… how could Jennie say no?
Sooyoung had asked her if she could kiss her like a sweetheart, and Jennie sounded embarrassingly desperate when she said, “Yes, please.” It made Sooyoung smile into the kiss, and Jennie just wanted to regain her confident persona for just a second. To prove that she knew what she wanted just as much as Sooyoung did.
It turned out that her date lived just a few blocks away from the bar, and Jennie thought that walking her to her apartment would have been a great idea. That was until they ended up making out for most of the way, and Jennie realised that Sooyoung’s intentions did not exactly align with hers.
Fuck it, was Jennie’s first thought as she followed the girl up the stairs of her place. It had been quite some time since Jennie had actually enjoyed sex, and Sooyoung’s touches and kisses were an obvious giveaway of how good the girl was in bed.
But in the few moments that Jennie let her conscience take over, she started to doubt herself.
“I’m not going to see you after tonight, am I?”
Sooyoung laughed against her lips at the sudden question. “Depending on how it goes… we might meet some other nights too, who knows?”
She sounded so carefree and relaxed that Jennie struggled to tear herself away from her arms.
“I’m afraid the night ends here for me,” she let out hesitantly.
Sooyoung immediately pulled away and created some distance, concern filling her eyes. “Is something wrong? Am I making you uncomfortable?”
“No, no,” Jennie shook her head and ran a hand through her hair in frustration. Sooyoung was such a nice girl, and she made Jennie’s skin burn with her touch and her heart swoon with her laugh.
Jennie was having a really good time, and she would not have minded taking things further. But as much as she wanted to give in and be selfish for once, she knew that the morning after would have hurt twice as much.
“I’m… looking for something a little more serious.”
Jennie knew that getting involved with someone that had no plans to remain was going to bite her in the ass later on.
And just like Jennie had predicted, Sooyoung was an angel about it. She had even explained why she didn’t do relationships (at least, not yet), and Jennie could understand the worry over her career being harmed by her love life. It really wasn’t fair, but Sooyoung claimed it was what she signed up for.
Given the late hour, Sooyoung had generously offered her spare room for Jennie to spend the night if she wanted, but Jennie opted to return home and end the date on a good note.
Sooyoung had not hesitated when she paid for the taxi ride, and Jennie wished nothing more than having met the girl under different circumstances.
----
Jennie didn’t contact Lisa that night. Well, she had received a message hours prior asking if she would be coming over like she had done for her past two dates, but Jennie had been too occupied to check her phone until it was long past midnight. She made a mental note to reply, but that night Jennie only wanted to go home to her best friend.
“I thought you would have had other plans for the night,” Chaeyoung teased her as soon as Jennie plopped herself down beside her on the bed.
Chaeyoung had been lying down with her laptop resting on top of her stomach when Jennie walked in, clearly not planning to sleep early when she had to ensure that Jennie was in safe hands. As soon as her side was taken over by her friend, Chaeyoung closed her laptop and scooted over to make space for the both of them. Jennie simply got under the covers and stared at the ceiling, sighing heavily while Chaeyoung propped up her elbow and stared at her tired friend.
“No connection?”
“There was,” Jennie mumbled. “A physical one.”
“You slept with her?”
Jennie shook her head tiredly. “I don’t think it would have been a wise emotional investment.”
Sooyoung had been her nicest date, but Jennie did not see a possible relationship developing with the girl. Spending the night together would have just given her a taste of what she would never have, and that was something Jennie wanted to avoid at all costs. She had been there before, and it didn’t end well for her heart.
“Emotional investment?” Chaeyoung repeated with amusement. “Jennie, you can have sex just for the sake of it. If you were into her, it might have been a nice distraction.”
It was no surprise that Chaeyoung was telling her to enjoy the pleasures of life. It reminded Jennie of how they had met years ago, before Taeyang, before Jennie had found her feet back in Seoul. When she had returned from her studies abroad, Jennie had no one to turn to. She had cut all ties with her parents and only stayed in contact with her cousin and a couple of friends from high school, but she had to rebuild her life on her own. A new job, a barely decent one-bedroom flat, and absolutely no one to truly rely on.
Until she met Park Chaeyoung.
The funny thing was that Chaeyoung had not exactly been her friend at first. Jennie would head to the nearest convenience store for some quick shopping, and Chaeyoung had happened to work as a cashier there. She unknowingly found herself talking to the girl every time Chaeyoung checked out her items, and sometimes she would blurt out how tense she felt with her demanding job and her non-existent sentimental life. They had become very good… acquaintances? Jennie wasn’t really sure what to call it.
But when Chaeyoung jokingly suggested she could help her get laid to let some steam off, Jennie had taken the offer seriously.
They were together for a single, drunken night. It was so long ago that Jennie barely remembered it other than the ridiculous number of times that both of them burst out laughing in the middle. And even when they started to hang out very platonically later on, Jennie didn’t feel awkward about it. It had been the chaotic start of their undying friendship.
Times were different then. Jennie and Chaeyoung both knew it was not going to become anything more than a hook-up. But now, Jennie believed that one night of sex was not going to fully satisfy her. Spending the night with Sooyoung would not have made her feel any better about her lack of progress in dating.
“We kissed. We almost made it to her bedroom. I think she would have been good to me.”
“Oh, Sooyoung is great at sex.”
Jennie paused. “You slept with her?”
“We dated for a couple of months,” Chaeyoung admitted in a very nonchalant manner.
Jennie frowned. “You set me up with your ex?”
“Uh, yes?”
“Isn’t that against girl code or some shit?”
Chaeyoung shrugged. “What’s the issue with it? I wouldn’t have minded.”
Jennie smirked. “Would you mind if I dated Jisoo?”
Chaeyoung pinched Jennie’s side and made the girl squirm. “That’s different.”
“She’s your ex, too. What’s the issue, huh?”
Chaeyoung’s bottom lip jutted out to form an annoyed pout. She didn’t reply, but Jennie liked to prove a point.
“Oh, I see. Can’t get involved with an ex if you’re still in love with them, right?”
Jennie did not need to hear a confirmation to know she had hit the nail on the head. No matter how much her friend liked to deny it, it was obvious that Chaeyoung had found her match in Jisoo. Spending time apart was probably making her realise that too.
Speaking of the devil, the sharp ring of a notification resonated in the room, and the gaze of both girls landed on Chaeyoung’s lit phone screen.
“You unblocked her?”
“Just her profile, her messages are still muted!” Chaeyoung rushed to explain.
“And you have her Instagram notifications on?” Jennie gasped as Chaeyoung immediately grabbed her device and held it against her chest.
“I just forgot to turn them off, that’s all.”
It was a shitty excuse that neither girl believed. Jennie was sure that her friend wanted to be updated on what Jisoo was up to, even when she’ll never admit it.
Chaeyoung quietly unlocked her phone and pulled up Jisoo’s latest post, biting her lip as she looked at the close-up selfie her ex-girlfriend had recently uploaded.
Jennie peeked at the screen and hummed in approval. Jisoo was undeniably beautiful, and her pictures never failed to prove it. Jennie would know since her friend’s gallery had been filled with them for the past year. “That’s one hell of a nice selfie.”
Chaeyoung immediately locked her phone and threw it to the foot of her bed, groaning in frustration. “She’s so annoying and so hot and I cannot stand her.”
Jennie had really tried to be patient with her best friend. She figured that with time, Chaeyoung would be able to sort things out without anyone’s help. But she heavily underestimated how much Chaeyoung was struggling with her breakup.
It had taken Jennie a few attempts to get words out of Chaeyoung. From past conversations, Jennie had begun to put all the clues together in order to find out what exactly made Chaeyoung break up with the girl she was so in love with.
Too bad Jennie was a shit detective and came up with nothing substantial on her own.
“She said she doesn’t see a future with me.”
When Chaeyoung revealed the actual reason, Jennie had pulled herself into a sitting position to look straight into her eyes.
It was absurd.
In what world would Jisoo not see a future with Chaeyoung?
And when Jennie asked her to elaborate, Chaeyoung started to tell her about the time she visited the hospital during Jisoo’s overnight shift and happened to hear a conversation her girlfriend had with a colleague. Chaeyoung emphasised that she heard the words loud and clear.
“It’s not going to last,” was what Jisoo had said.
Jennie believed her friend. Chaeyoung had no reason to make things up. But when she questioned Jisoo’s reaction to the breakup, Chaeyoung had claimed that Jisoo had acknowledged her words.
She admitted it. So why were they still chasing after each other?
Jennie even avoided bringing up what happened in the café, when she and Lisa returned from the sushi place and found the former couple scowling at each other while their faces were only a few inches apart. Jennie did not have the time to question whether they were about to make out or throw hands since Jisoo rushed out the place and Chaeyoung went completely silent for the rest of the night.
Perhaps Jennie was not experienced enough to figure it out. She had failed to predict the end of her own relationship. She had failed to see that the first girl she fell in love with did not reciprocate her feelings, even when it felt like it. Jennie knew nothing about love, it seemed.
All she could do that night was hold Chaeyoung tightly as she silently wondered when things would finally start to get better.
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