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1. if your twin brother is being SUPER weird about NORMAL SHIT its probably not your fault
They haven’t even talked about dad yet when Yukio pulls Rin aside. “Listen,” he says, serious and frowning so hard his forehead wrinkles, “if you start feeling…weird, you tell me, okay?”
Rin tongues his newly-sharpened canines. “Weird how?” He asks.
“Overly hot, flushed, uh, lonely, that type of thing.”
He squints at his brother before snorting and shaking his head. “Thanks for the concern little bro, but I’m not gonna get a fever from going to the funeral.”
Yukio doesn’t appreciate the joke if his scowl is anything to go by. It’s quickly paved over with a mild smile—one Rin is growing to hate—and closed eyes. “Alright then, forget I said anything. I’m sure you have this all under control.”
They talk again several days later at night in the dorms after their fight in the classroom. Rin feels like the air has been completely cleared by their talk but Yukio’s doing that thing where he keeps glancing up and then away. He only does it when he’s nervous and not sure how to start a conversation, so Rin decides to take pity on him and start it himself. “Man I’m beat! You ready for bed Yukio?”
Yukio nods, taking a seat on his bed. “Actually, nii-san, I wanted to talk with you about something before your classes tomorrow.”
Rin flops down onto his bed and weasels his way under the covers. The lights are already off. “Okay,” he drawls, “what’s up?”
“Have you noticed any other ah,” Yukio visibly swallows, “changes to your body after pulling out the sword?”
“Sure, tail, fangs, bursting into flames, that sorta thing.” Rin waves off easily.
“No that’s-“ Yukio sighs, pinching at his nose and taking off his glasses. “I meant more…intimate changes. All demons are intersex so when it comes to half demons…” he trails off.
Oh. Is that what this is all about? “I mean, I already figured that out.” Rin says. Yukio makes a choked off sound in response so Rin continues. “What? Did you seriously think I wouldn’t notice a brand new addition down there? I had to take a crap and afterwards when I was wiping I was like! Woah, hold on! That’s not my ass! And I was right, it wasn’t, and then I checked it out in the mirror and everything! Oh, hey Yukio, should I go buy like, pads or something?”
Thanks to the city lights shining through the window (or maybe demon blood) Rin can see Yukio’s facial expression even across their darkened room. It is hilarious. “No, that won’t be necessary.”
Rin nods along sagely. “Oh, because I’m like, infertile or whatever, right?”
He could practically hear his younger brother grinding his jaw. “No, that’s definitely not the issue.”
“But if I could like, do it, then once a month it has to drop all the insides out after the egg doesn’t get knocked up.” Rin says, feeling quite obvious.
“Since when did you pay attention during health class?” Yukio asks.
Rin, taking great offence, scoffs and rolls over. “Puh-lease Yukio, everybody knows this stuff.”
His brother sighs, and by the sounds of blankets rustling lays down himself. “Either way, you don’t have to worry about menstruation. Human reproductive cycles don’t apply to demon anatomy.”
“Alright, well, what about you?”
“What about me?”
Geez, since when had Yukio gotten so dense? Is he doing it on purpose? He’s supposed to be the smart one! “You’re a half demon too.” He points out.
The way Yukio’s sheets rustle gives his reaction away well before he opens his mouth. “Not like you, nii-san. I have my own troubles, but you could actually…”
Rin patiently waits for Yukio to finish his thought. Which means he waits for maybe ten seconds before rolling his eyes and barrelling ahead. “Get pregnant? I’ll wrap before I tap! No biggie.”
Yukio’s responding sigh said that he wanted to argue further but was too tired to actually engage. “Just be careful. I don’t want people to have more reasons to hate you.”
Rin keeps his mouth shut, despite having a few things to say. He has no intention of tapping anything before he hits twenty—assuming he even lives that long. He also knows that people have been making up reasons to hate him since preschool and he was pretty sure even God couldn’t stop them. He especially doesn’t say that he doesn’t mind if other people hate him because his worst nightmare of Yukio hating him already came true. Instead, “it’s okay Yukio, you should learn to leave more things to your big brother. You shouldn’t have to worry so much.”
Yukio doesn’t respond to that at all.
2. sometimes teachers are FULL OF SHIT
The next day of cram school, Yukio opens the class with an announcement. “Now that everyone here has a mashou, your demonology and summoning course later tonight will be going over what that means for you and your body.”
Shima makes an interested sound but is elbowed in the gut by Suguro before he can make a comment. The rest of class is painfully uneventful and Rin finds himself drifting off almost immediately.
He’s awoken with a few subtle shakes by Shiemi, Neuhaus has just walked in the door so Rin makes sure to shoot her a grateful smile.
Their teacher drops his stuff off at the desk with a clunk before turning to the whiteboard and grumbling under his breath. He jerks the chalk across the board in quick strokes and when he steps aside there are three columns with symbols over them. Neuhaus clears his throat before speaking. “Now that you all have mashous, it would be irresponsible not to inform you of the very real consequences of this action. Not only can you now see hellspawn, your body will be changing too.”
He taps the board for emphasis. “Can anyone tell me what these symbols mean in regard to demonology.”
Izumo’s hand shoots up and Suguro’s joins hers a second later. She’s the one who gets called on. “The Greek letters Alpha, Beta, and Omega in demonology refer to demon sexes.” She recites. She sounds like she’s smirking. (Rin takes a look and, yeah, she’s smirking.)
“A correct, if shallow, explanation.” Neuhaus nods. “As demons possess both a phallus and womb, it would be better to describe these distinctions,” he taps the board again, “as secondary sexes. What this means for you all is, congratulations, you are all honorary betas.” He pauses, probably just to feed on all the confusion he’s just created in his students. “While not true betas, humans with a mashou have heightened senses and may enter a pseudo-heat if paired to a demon. This is how humans can bear illicit spawn in the first place.”
A hand nervously rises into the air and their teacher nods in acknowledgment. “Ah,” Konekomaru starts, “how soon do these changes arise in- I mean, typically, in humans?”
“You’ll first be able to notice symptoms after a few days, but things will normalize fairly quickly. Now, if that’s all…betas have no outstanding quality of their own, even among demons, so let’s move on.” He turns back to the board and marks out a few quick notes in the beta column. The majority, standard demons. “Suguro,” he says still facing the board, “you seemed eager, can you tell me what the difference is between alphas and omegas?”
Suguro clears his throat and picks up his notebook. “Alpha demons are the dominant type of demon, they have incredible power and are the ones who will sire demon children.”
“Correct,” Neuhaus writes down masculine in the Alpha column. “Alpha demons are known to be extremely territorial and especially vicious. Inversely, omega demons are the weakest of the bunch with little to no power of their own. These demons are the ones who bear the children. While weak fighters, they have the annoying ability to call their fellow demons to their aid.” A quick feminine was slotted into the omega column.
Rin finds himself frowning at the notes on the board. They kinda made sense, in a wolf pack apocalypse way, but something wasn’t sitting right. Before his higher level thinking can kick in he raises his hand.
The professor sighs. “Yes, Okumura?”
“So, if all demons have both parts, why do only some of them get pregnant?” He asks. He can practically feel the death glare from Izumo crawling up his spine. (He doesn’t check but he knows she’s doing it anyway, alright?) Even the professor’s stiff upper lip is starting to curl. Uh oh, was that a dumb question?
“Consider the genitalia something of a vestigial organ. The facts of the matter are clear, alphas always impregnate, and omegas always get pregnant. Betas will accommodate their partner, but it’s safe to say that alpha wombs and omega phalluses go unused.”
Rin sinks back into his seat with a soft, “oh.”
Neuhaus gives him one final stink eye glare before turning an unimpressed gaze upon the rest of the class. “Now that we have that out of the way, who here can tell me how you use this information to your advantage in battle?”
Rin tunes out again.
3. listen to your GUT and the guts of your FRIENDS
“Hey Shiemi…”
“Hm? What is it Rin?”
He picks at a lone grain of rice in his packed lunch. “Last night, did the stuff Neuhaus say make you feel weird at all?”
“Oh, well…” she trails off, rolling a piece of fruit idly. “Not really, people say that kind of stuff about women all the time.”
Rin’s mouth twists up on his face. “When did he say stuff about women?”
Shiemi makes a noncommittal sound, refusing to make eye contact. Rin tries to find her gaze anyway and she turns further away. He leans as far as he can on their secluded fountain ledge and he can just barely catch her conflicted expression.
“Well,” Shiemi starts, halting, “I guess…he didn’t say anything directly. But how…femininity was just weakness and babies. That kind of thing.”
Now that she’d pointed it out, yeah, Rin could definitely see it. “It’s fucking fishy, is what it is. ‘Cause obviously that ain’t true.”
Shiemi lets a tiny sigh go, one so small a human probably wouldn’t have heard it. “Yeah. My mother says men like that make bad husbands.”
“Yuck! Who would ever wanna marry Neuhaus?” Rin, despite himself, tries to picture Professor Neuhaus with a family who’d willingly hug and kiss him. He can’t really imagine it lasting.
Thankfully Shiemi giggles, her mood lightening again. “I don’t think he’s been married, actually. My mother calls him a bachelor whenever he stops by the supply shop.”
Rin huffs, shoving some food in his mouth and chewing absently. “I hope your mom tears him a new asshole sometime. That’d teach him.”
“Maybe,” Shiemi agrees lightly. “Rin?”
“Yes?” He’s alert in an instant.
“I know you said you were when the gate broke, but…” Shiemi’s back to looking uncomfortable. “Are you really a normal human?”
It’s like the air gets violently sucked away from the outside world. Rin is the one trying to look away now. “That’s…” he glances around for any sign of Yukio. His little brother loved to hover and lurk, especially recently. “I mean…”
“You don’t have to tell me.” Shiemi adds quietly. He turns and she’s wearing a smile, however small. “But, I can probably guess. Rin and Yuki-chan…really are bad at keeping secrets.”
“Oy, we’re doing our best!”
She just giggles at him, and Rin can feel himself deflating. “Next time,” she says, “maybe try and cover your ears. They’re cute and small but people who really know demons will recognize them.”
His hand finds the tip of his right ear on its own. “With what, a hat?” He mutters to himself. To Shiemi he says, “how’d you even figure it out?“
“You smell,” she says and she only realizes how that sounds once’s it’s out of her mouth. “Oh my gosh! Wait! That sounds bad!” She rushes.
Rin, trying to be incredibly sneaky, takes a whiff of his clothes. They smell fine?
She’s red-faced and off-kilter when he looks back to Shiemi and she hurries ahead. “I mean! You just- there’s always this um, like general smell in the air around demons and lately I’ve been smelling it a lot stronger and you smell like that so I just…kind of assumed.”
He tries to take an even deeper (but still subtle) sniff of himself. “Maybe I just fight demons so much that I smell like that off the bat.”
“No, even super active exorcists smell normal to me. Sorry, Rin…”
“I mean it’s your nose you can’t like turn it off.” He says, still trying to find his own scent. Maybe he breathes it in too much to recognize it? “Do you think the others will notice?” He tacks on quietly. He really hopes the answer is no.
Shiemi, the little mind reader, winces preemptively. “…probably. I got my mashou when I was possessed so…”
Rin clicks his teeth. “The others will probably start catching whiffs off’a me soon…damn.” There goes the secret! Rin thinks, quietly a little relieved he won’t have to worry about keeping it for super long.
Shiemi gives him a sad look, one full of pity, her food largely forgotten. After a few seconds she brightens up with a soft, “oh!” She turns to him with the start of a smile. “Do you think some really strong perfume would help?”
Rin thinks about it for less than a second. “Shiemi,” he says, “you’re a genius.”
4. INVEST IN DEODORANT <- IMPORTANT
The very next day bright and early Rin goes to the first gas station he can find and picks out the strongest smelling deodorant on the shelf. After a few seconds of deliberation he also picks up some super strong body spray.
When he walks into cram school the whole room recoils. He takes his seat by Shiemi and gives her a thumbs up. She sneezes, shakes herself, and sniffs the air before returning it. Yes! Nobody’d be able to smell the demon on him as long as he kept up with this smelly stuff. Heh, this secret keeping business is a breeze.
When they’re walking back to their dorm later, Yukio immediately comments on it. “Nii-san, if you were running out of deodorant you could have told me. You don’t have to use that cheap stuff.”
Rin chuckles, smirking at his little brother. “Yukio, Yukio, Yukio. What if I told you…this was a deliberate choice to keep the whole lineage thing a secret?”
“Really?” Yukio asks, he looks genuinely surprised. “You’re serious?”
“Super serious! It was Shiemi’s idea, she said I smelled like demons so now with all this extra smellage going on no one’s gonna get a whiff of demon.” Rin closes his eyes, waiting for the praise to roll in.
Yukio is quiet for several moments too long, though. Rin peeks an eye open at him. “Does Shiemi know?” Yukio asks very softly.
Rin frowns. Geez, way to throw off the conversation. “Not everything,” he answers.
Yukio’s shoulders relax, but he still looks a bit constipated.
“Spill,” Rin says with a sigh, “what’s wrong?”
His brother looks away, the back of his neck blooming red. “I just think…this is unnecessary.”
“Hah? Mr. Prepared For Everything, Mr. Take No Chances, Mr. The World is Out to Get You, out of freakin’ everyone you should be the most pumped about this! Didn’t you want me bein’ super ultra careful?”
“Yes,” Yukio sounds like the words are being forcefully pulled out of his mouth. “You just…you smell so…different. I don’t like it.”
Rin pauses at that, blinking at his brother. They’ve come to a stop along the bridge to their dorm, thankfully no other students in sight. The lamp posts flicker on in their silence. “What did I smell like…before?” He asks.
Yukio folds his arms tightly over his chest. “Your cooking,” he says immediately, if at a soft volume.
Rin’s forehead skrunches. “I smelled like meat?”
“No, Rin, you smelled like-“ Yukio cuts himself off with a sharp huff. The red along his neck creeping up over his ears and cheeks. “You smelled like warmth, and home, and like the monastery and other trivial things. It doesn’t matter, you’ve taken action to preserve your secret, I’m- I’m happy! This is a good thing.”
He says it with something close to a scowl. Privately, Rin thinks that Yukio’s having just as much trouble believing what he’s saying as Rin is. “The monastery ain’t trivial.” He says. Yukio sighs but Rin steamrolls over him. “It ain’t. Don’t you go bad mouthing our home just ‘cause we aren’t in it right now. If you’re upset then be upset!”
Yukio almost says ”I’m not upset” but must think better of it because he shuts his mouth. When he opens it again, his frown looks more sincere. “The change surprised me, more than I thought it would, and that’s what’s upsetting me. That I’m having such a strong reaction to what should be something small. I feel foolish.”
Rin feels himself soften at his twin’s words and closes the gap between them with a hug. “Yukio, you’re the smartest guy I know. And there’s nothing dumb about being homesick. Cross my heart.” His brother sinks deep into the hug, tucking his face against Rin’s shoulder. “Besides,” Rin continues, “it’s probably just your demon blood acting up.”
Yukio’s previous softness vaporizes as he tenses in the hold. He pushes them just far enough apart to look each other in the eye. “What are you talking about.” It’s not a question.
“Uh, y’know like, ‘cause demons have good noses and can get kinda territorial and stuff?” It feels like flawless logic.
“I’m not demonic.” Yukio says.
“Uh, duh you are, you’re the son of Satan just like me.”
Yukio tenses so hard he breaks away from the hug all together. “Say it louder so more people can hear you!” He hisses.
Rin scoffs, shoving his hands in his pockets. “What’s the big deal! Do you seriously think you ain’t even a little bit demon under there? ‘Cause, and I don’t know if you remember this or not, but we’re literally twins!”
“I know that!” Yukio says quickly. He huffs, turning to the side to adjust his glasses and cool off. “Of course I know that, nii-san. But dad told me that you were the only one to have formed a demon heart. You got the flames, and it’s a miracle the human child even survived.”
Rin clamps down on his immediate suspicion. The old man was right about most shit but he wasn’t right about everything. And this was sticking out to him. The same weird wrong feeling from class rearing its ugly head in his gut. “You could be a late bloomer?”
Yukio snorts. “Let’s hope for both our sakes that I’m not. I quite like my exorcist license.”
“Still, that kind of- y’know like black and white, oh he’s human but he’s a demon thing, it feels way too easy.” Rin continues, making vague gestures as he goes that even he doesn’t know the meaning of. “I mean, no matter how you slice it half of you is literally from Satan, right?”
“Rin,” Yukio sighs, and wow he hates that sound! “It’s not rocket science, Satan doesn’t have a physical body, he had to possess a human to have us so it’s- it’s entirely likely that I have nothing demonic about me at all.”
Face hot, and feeling foolish, Rin decides to take Yukio’s precious logic and give it a tug. “What, so, if a guy gets possessed some of his jizz can escape being possessed? He’s completely taken over, balls n’ all!”
“We have very real testimony from possession victims that they can still think and perceive the world around them meaning the brain is left untouched in some cases and-“
“The brain ain’t balls, Yukio!” Rin says loudly.
“And further,” Yukio says louder, “in cases of high ranking demons it’s speculated that the demon can select parts of the body to still be felt by the human despite being under complete control-“
“So Satan sat there, hard up, and counted out which bits of cum got to be demon and which bits got to be human? Are you fucking serious?”
“The evidence suggests-!”
“You’re being stupid!”
“I’ve lived this life far longer than you! What do you know anyhow!”
“I know that you’re spewing total bull!”
Yukio gets in close and jabs a finger at Rin’s chest. “Remind me which one of us didn’t quit after middle school!”
Rin feels his lips curl back into a snarl and he pokes his brother right back. “Fine, you don’t trust me, whatever, but I’ll bet if we ask Shiemi to smell you too she’ll tell you you’re a freaky demon spawn just! Like! Me!”
“Fine!”
“Fine!”
5. find SOLIDARITY with friends and family EVEN and ESPECIALLY if they HATE IT
Yukio gets Shiemi to stay after class and once the three of them are absolutely sure everyone’s gone home and aren’t lingering out in the hallway, they get started.
Shiemi looks a little dazed, cheeks warm and eyes unfocused as Yukio turns to her and wordlessly starts unbuttoning the cuffs of his exorcist coat. He rolls up his sleeves and shoves his arms forward like some kind of robot. His face is deliberately blank.
While Yukio may not be outwardly emoting Rin can just tell that his twin’s general air of annoyance is all a show. The stupid glasses-wearing-nerd is just storing up extra energy for later smugness because he’s so sure that he’s right. Well, Rin sniffs, arms crossed and staring intently at Shiemi, he’s in for one hell of a wake up call.
The blonde girl steels herself and shuffles closer to Yukio. She carefully leans down and takes delicate sniffs of the air around his exposed wrists. She pauses, thinking, and then takes a deeper sniff.
“Well?” Yukio asks as she leans back.
Shiemi doesn’t answer immediately. Her brows are lightly creased and she’s caught her lower lip between her teeth. “Yuki-chan…I’m sorry but…it’s faint, but you do smell like a demon to me.”
Yukio’s expression doesn’t change but Rin can see metaphorical blue light shining out from behind his eyes as his brain reboots. “I see,” the younger twin says delicately. “How faint is faint?”
“If I had to say…it’s kind of like hearing someone whisper from the other end of a long hallway. If I didn’t know what Rin smelled like, I probably wouldn’t be able to guess you smelled like it too.” Shiemi says. She tugs at the end of her fingers and keeps looking up at Yukio and then swiftly away.
That fucking smile is back and Yukio lets out a long breath of air. “That’s a relief, then. I’d be very put out if all my coworkers had been neglecting to tell me about this for the past several years.”
“That’s putting it mildly…” Rin huffs. “Oy, what do you mean that Yukio smells like me? I thought you said I just smelled like demon.”
“Um! Yes!” Shiemi squeaks, seeming to have just noticed that there was a whole other twin in the room with her. “Yes, there is a general demon smell but um…I mean, I can’t really explain it because it’s very subtle, but Rin smells like Rin, you know?”
Yukio nods along like that made any kind of sense and Rin grinds his teeth. He opens his mouth to ask more questions but his brother beats him to it. “She means, that all demons have a unique scent even if they all smell like demons. Likely, since we’re related, we smell alike.”
“Yes! That’s exactly what I was trying to say! Thank you Yuki-chan.”
“Thank you for indulging this in the first place.”
Rin wants to gag. He did not arrange this whole thing for Shiemi and Yukio to make moon eyes at each other. It shouldn’t even count at flirting because they’re both so bad at it. “Okay so will you believe me now when I tell you you’re just like me?”
Yukio, apparently still wanting to be a bastard, adjusts his glasses. “As I recall, Shiemi said my own demonic nature was so subtle she could’ve missed it if she didn’t have you as a reference point.”
“But you are a half-demon.”
Yukio’s sigh is deep and long-suffering. “Yes, fine. That would appear to be the case.”
Shiemi ducks her head. “Demon heritage is nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of exorcists have some. And maybe Yuki-chan just doesn’t show it as strong as Rin.”
The younger twin snaps his coat back into perfect order. “Can we discuss this another time? It’s getting quite late, and we do have class tomorrow.” He says, still smiling.
Shiemi agrees with another quick blush and Rin almost calls Yukio out on spewing more bullshit. But, he doesn’t, and they go home and collapse into their respective beds for the night. He really should have known better, but they don’t get the chance to talk about until it’s too late.
6. don't be afraid to ASK FOR HELP when you NEED IT because you WILL
The buzz from the Exwire celebration follows Rin all the way back to the dorms. His skin is practically alive as he keeps the memory of all their friends eating good food pulled around him like a blanket. When they walk in, and he realizes that he has to go back to just him and Yukio in this whole big building, the disappointment that hits him is a wall. He literally wilts with it as they trudge up the stairs and start up their respective bedtime routines.
He tries to tell himself that it’s fine, just normal post-hangout blues. But as he flips through the pages of his newest manga his mind remains fixed on the wall of loneliness. He won’t have extra people to cook for. No one to run into in the mornings. No friends talking through the walls. No group to walk to and from classes with. Just him and his brother who probably hates him as much as he loves him.
Yukio climbs into bed and turns off the lights with a yawn.
Rin stares up at the ceiling for…hours, probably. He stops really registering that he has a body affected by time when he starts thinking about how quiet everything is.
He must fall asleep at some point because he wakes up in the morning and everything sucks so bad. He gets maybe five seconds of post-wake-up bliss before his body decides that it hates him too, now, and every fibre of muscle spasms all at once. He chokes on his own spit and feels his back arch off of his mattress.
His joints feel loose, like his muscles are the only things keeping him from falling apart into a million pieces. His tail twitches and everywhere it touches comes alive with agony. The fine hairs along its surface prickling like needles as they shift in his skin. He shudders through a breath and flips himself over onto his stomach to stave off the worst of it. Nausea rolls up his chest. Sweat is quickly building up along his brow, under his arms, rolling freely down his back.
God, he feels like he’s on fire. And given that he has actually been engulfed in fire pretty fucking regularly, he can confidently say this is the worst fire ever and he wants nothing more than to viciously stamp it out.
He kicks the remnants of his blankets out from under him. Maybe, if he just stays super still, everything will calm down and he can get up and get ready for the day. Yukio needs him to make breakfast after all.
Yukio. His brain snatches that up like a starved dog. He has the sudden and incredible urge to go over to his twin and start fussing. Yukio needs food, he needs sleep, he needs a god damn break, he needs shelter. This building is a cess-pit! A walking foreclosure sign! Sure their room is clean, but it’s not safe. Yukio needs to be safe. Rin is the big brother it is his responsibility—no, duty—to keep his twin safe and happy.
With a groan he rolls onto wobbly feet. The thin grey light of early morning tells him it’s early. Far earlier than he usually wakes up. Thankfully, Yukio looks unbothered by Rin’s noise and keeps on sleeping.
He manages to get out the door of their room. Leaning heavily against the wall, he makes his way towards the kitchen. Between each blink he loses time. He can barely keep any thoughts beyond: food, shelter, warmth, Yukio, in his head. They run out his ears and down his neck with the pearls of sweat already gathered there.
He makes it to the kitchen and fumbles with the fridge door for longer than he thinks is correct. He’s got a few meals tucked away for rainy days. As much as he’d like to show off his skill and cook, he’s pretty sure he’d pass out at the stove if he tried it. He made these meals for this kind of emergency anyway. And, he thinks, watching the dishes spin in the microwave is very satisfying.
They’re just spinning away in there…rotating…and shit. Wow…microwaves are so cool.
The shrill chirping of the machine makes him hiss and he stabs at the buttons until it shuts up. The plate of pork fried rice should be burning his hands as he takes it out but it’s just…pleasant. Rin stands with it—well, slouches vaguely back towards the door, anyway—when he catches a whiff of something distinctly foul.
His tail bristles and the searing heat of his skin literally flares up around him as his flames ignite. “Sneaky son of a bitch.” He hisses, baring his teeth at the empty air. “This is my home. Get out!” The sound echoes off the high concrete ceilings of the dorms. He catches a flicker of movement and turns just in time to see Ukobach’s tail disappearing around the corner.
The higher part of Rin is upset with himself for scaring Ukobach away. Especially after all they’d cooked together in this very kitchen and the deal they’d struck to share it. But the deeper part of him, the one that gripped tight to his flames whenever they came out, rumbles with pleasure from such a show of subservience.
Yeah, that’s right. He’s dangerous. And this place is his. His special place where all his special people should be so he can take care of them.
He makes it back to the room in a haze that doesn’t stick with his memory and he carefully sets the cooling food down on Yukio’s desk.
Rin takes a second to just. Stare. At his twin. He looks so peaceful asleep. Rin would hate himself if he ruined that. But Yukio was only under one blanket and just had one pillow! He could be so much more comfortable.
Every stretch up to their cabinets is an exercise in pain tolerance, but it’s for Yukio, so Rin barely registers the way his body screams bloody murder at him beyond breathy grunts. He pulls all of the blankets and pillows out of storage, off of his own bed, and even the ones their friends had used that hadn’t been washed yet.
Amassing a giant pile of fabric shouldn’t make Rin feel so happy, but it does. It smells like Father Fujimoto’s favourite brand of detergent, of Rin and Yukio’s old beds, with little bits of all their friends there too. Really, this is the pinnacle of comfort right here.
He does his best to start piling things up on Yukio’s bed nicely. But between all the fabric and Rin’s own shaky limbs, he isn’t nearly as graceful as he’d like.
Yukio grumbles, hand flung wide to feel out for his glasses. “Nii-san…?” He says, blinking bleary eyes open. He slips his glasses on his face but he’s still squinting like he hadn’t.
Rin, who is currently perched on his brother’s feet, on fire, and in the process of wedging a pillow under him twitches an ear. To show he’s listening.
“What…are you doing?”
“Gotta…I gotta…blanket…” Rin mumbles. He tosses a particularly good blanket over Yukio’s head.
Yukio, ungrateful little shit that he is, immediately starts tugging it off. His hair is all over the place as he breaches into the fresh air. He looks thoroughly confused. “Rin, what-?”
Rin tosses two more blankets over him. His twin protests, loudly, but he’s got like three more pillows to put in their place and if they don’t fluff exactly the right way he may scream and actually cry a little bit and he’s almost done so if one little brother would just stop wiggling!
His twin claws his way out from under the pile. His face warm and twisted up. “Would you-” he dodges one of the pillows, “knock it off?”
“Here, eat,” Rin jumps up to grab the rice and pushes a full spoon towards his brother’s mouth. “Eat, eat, you’re too skinny. Open, stupid four-eyes.” Yukio accepts the food with no small amount of glaring but he does eat it. Like this, he gets Yukio to eat a full breakfast and it makes Rin feel lighter than air. He’s such a good brother! His family is taken care of so well!
Yukio eventually steals the plate away to keep it out of the bed—such a smart little brother! Keeping their home clean!—but he doesn’t try to leave. He keeps eyeing Rin with something like wariness. His usual sharp stare undercut by his perfect bedhead.
Rin doesn’t mind though. He’s just happy Yukio is staying close.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on now?” The younger twin asks.
“Dunno,” the older answers, “jus’ woke up and…gotta make this nice. Has to be good.” He pushes a few more blankets around until they drape just right. “Man, it’s so hot.”
Yukio opens his mouth—probably to comment on the fire or something—before his eyes widen and his face floods with warmth. “N-nii-san you-! You-!”
“What?” Rin groans, flopping face-first into the pile and loving the big pwuff of familiar air that rushes up to meet him.
“You’re in heat.” Yukio’s voice is thin and very, very soft. It reminds Rin of the sound grass makes in a strong breeze. All crackly and fast.
He has half a mind to be offended at the heat comment. ‘Cause, he’s not some kind of dog, Yukio. But he already spent so much energy this morning that his fight reserves are running dry. So instead he groans, louder, and curls his tail up close to his body.
The bed dips as Yukio tentatively kneels on it. He doesn’t touch Rin but his hand hovers just barely away from the flames. “Rin?” He tries again. His voice is so unsure. Rin thought he’d never hear Yukio sound like that again. “Heats are how some demons announce their…mating season. Are…are you feeling any…urges?”
“Gross,” Rin drawls against the blankets. A fresh wave of nausea rolls over his shoulders and it’s a struggle to breathe normally. Which certainly isn’t helped by the fact that, apparently, this fresh hell is actually demon sex stuff. He doesn’t…feel like he wants to do any of that, though. He’s pretty sure if anyone came at him ready to dance he’d sooner have his claws meet their face. He tries to imagine himself acting…urge-y…and the need to vomit leaps up his throat. “That’s gross. ‘M just tired ‘n sore ‘n shit. And hot. Ugh, I’m so sweaty…”
“You know, having your flames out probably isn’t helping anything.” Ah. There’s the smart-ass comment.
Rin’s flames burn brighter out of spite. “Fire ain’t hot.” He says.
“Say that one more time for me.”
If his entire body and soul weren’t in the middle of making Yukio’s safety and comfort its ultimate priority he would have tackled him for that. Instead, he groggily lifts his head and glares at his brother. With barely a thought, Rin sends his flames out until they wrap around his brother’s form.
Yukio startles, badly, scrambling back until he runs into the far wall that encompasses the bed. The flames follow him and in their light, Yukio’s eyes go from their quiet teal to a brilliant turquoise. He won’t stop staring at his hands. The flames there play around his fingers and jump from his nails.
Rin is so pleased to see his family shrouded in his flame that he barely registers the surprise he feels from how easy it was to do it. They aren’t just listening to his command, they are his command. He breathes, and the flames do too. With Yukio wrapped up in them its almost like a hug. And buried under the warmth of that hug is something familiar. The barest spark that ties him and his twin together. He can feel it, choked as it is and smashed down into a corner. By lending Yukio his flames, that spark is already shining just a little brighter.
Yukio finally looks up from his hands and meets Rin’s gaze. Does he feel that too? Does he know how deeply buried he’s left himself in there? “They’re cool, like water.” He whispers.
Rin snorts his I-told-you-so snort and tries again to get buried in their pile. “Do you think…we could invite the others over?” He asks when the silence between them gets too long.
“I don’t think so, nii-san. They wouldn’t be allowed to leave if they came over, right?”
The question is said gently but Rin still feels it sting. Still, Yukio’s not wrong. “I guess,” he admits. Not everybody was ready at the drop of a hat for sudden sleepovers, and he has no idea how long this stupid heat thing is going to last.
Yukio pushes a few pillows around himself and relaxes into them. Yes! Success! Comfortable pile for family! “Besides, we still have your- our secret to preserve.”
“What about Shiemi? She knows we’re demons. And she’s got a huge crush on you so she’d probably love to come over.” Rin says.
“That-!” Yukio’s face goes so red the blush creeps all the way down to his elbows. “That’s not the point. Do you really think you’d be able to keep from spontaneously bursting into flame right now?”
Rin loves that his brother is super smart and reasonable. He just hates when that reason is used on him. Because Yukio’s usually right, is the thing. And in this case that means that Rin’s going to have to make do with after images in old sheets rather than the actual people he’s swiftly grown to care for. And, yeah, Yukio’s here—his twin, his rival, his smart, powerful, insecure, know-it-all, secretive, independent, focused, little brother—but the Old Man isn’t. And neither are the other priests. Or Shiemi, Suguro, Shima, Konekomaru, hell, even Izumo. He’s got his family, but not all of it.
The memory of the funeral finds him. Rain softly tapping against headstones filling his ears. “No, probably not.” Rin says.
“Maybe next time.” Yukio says.
Rin wonders how many “next times” it’ll actually take. He tries to imagine doing this forever. Waking up randomly in pain, head full of fog, and inconveniencing everyone he happens to like with his stupid demon blood. “Yeah, maybe.”
They sit there together, burning, and Rin could swear the earth’s gravity had been growing stronger in the pockets of silence strung between them.
Yukio worms his way closer. He wordlessly searches for his older brother’s hand, and after finding it, winds their fingers together over the blankets. He keeps opening and closing his mouth like he wants to say something, but the words never come. And Rin can’t blame him. He doesn’t know what he’d say if the shoe was on the other glove, or whatever.
He’s pretty sure there’s nothing Yukio would willingly say that would take the venom out of the gash loneliness has left. There’s plenty he could say, but the likelihood of that is-
“I...do love you, Rin.” Yukio says.
Rin holds tight to his twin’s hand. “Yeah...yeah, I love you too, Yukio.”
The flames gutter out soon after that and Yukio rests his head against Rin’s shoulder.
And it’s not perfect. Not by a mile. But it’s good. It’s good.