Chapter Text
It was just a regular morning in Faraway town. Sunny woke up, brushed his teeth, and went straight to his PC. What else would he do on a fine Saturday...? Sunday? at this point he wasn't so sure what day it was, it does get pretty hard to keep track of time after 4 years of being a shut-in, and a calendar can only help you for a year (and for some reason he never checked the date from his PC like the fucking moron he is).
Sunny was heading to his room when he suddenly heard a loud bang on his door. And no, it was not a knock, whoever was behind that door was literally trying to break it down. Sunny tried to ignore it, but it's hard to ignore the sound of someone banging on your door with enough force to make the door's mass collapse on itself and create a black hole. He tried to play music and pretend the noise was the beat, but the rhythm was off. Eventually he just gave up and went to open the door, to see the friend he hadn't seen in 4 years standing in front of him.
It's crazy to think that even after all those years, Kel hasn't given up on him yet, maybe there's still a chance to save his friendships?
WRONG
"Sunny! You finally came out!" said Kel with the enthusiasm of an ADHD patient with 53 kilograms of caffeine in his veins.
"i paused my slime girls hentai to be here, this better be good." said Sunny, with e ^ iπ + 1 enthusiasm.
"yourslimehuh- Anyway, I saw the "For Sale" sign in front of your house and was wondering if you wanna hang out one last time before you move away. Y'know, for old time's sake?"
"3 days... I have 3 days before I can abandon this hellhole of a town and live in ignorant bliss for the rest of my life, and you just HAD to come fuck it up for me." said Sunny with a deadpan stare that would've been intimidating if it wasn't for the fact that vitamin D deficiency took a toll on his height
"H-hey if you don't want to I'm not forcing you or anything, I was just wondering that's all..." Kel rubbed the back of his neck nervously
Then after a few seconds of awkward silence, Sunny spoke again. "actually now that i think about it, i was really being a jerk. i guess staying inside for god knows how long made me all moody and stuff. why don't you come in and we can do whatever friends who haven't seen each other in years do i dunno." Sunny said while trying to push Kel inside with little to no avail. Not that Kel was heavy or anything, it's just that Sunny's bones make even marshmallows look hard. "also it's nice to have a friend for dinner."
"Sunny, it's 11 in the morning..."
"shut the fuck up."
It's safe to say that this was one of the worst dinners Sunny ever had. Seriously, how can fucking MEAT of all things taste like orange juice and coffee?!?!?
"jesus fucking Christ Kel, did you put that orange nuclear hazard of a beverage in the fucking steak??"
"Oh come on Sunny, it adds to the taste!"
"i honestly can't believe you and Hero share the same blood."
"It can't be that bad!" Kel took a bite of the food, it was that bad. "IS THIS STEAK FROM THE FUCKING STONE AGE?!?!" oh, that's why it was bad, you didn't think Kel would find Orange Joe™ bad did you?
"it adds to the taste" said the psychopath known as Sunny, who somehow hasn't died from food poisoning after so many "well-done" (expired) steaks.
"Okay, I guess we both can't cook if our lives depended on it. What do you say we go over to Gino- Oh crap, right! I had to get Hero a welcome back gift! Oh I also forgot to mention but Hero is coming back from college tomorrow."
"don't care + he's a nerd 🤓"
"Did you keep those glasses on you just to make that nerd joke...?"
"it doesn't take a genius to figure out that someone who spent 4 years glued to a computer screen would need glasses, dumbass."
"Then why weren't you wearing them?"
"i wanna go blind. maybe the hallucinations will go away if i can't see them."
"thewhat-"
"let's just go get your goody two shoes of a brother his stupid present or whatever"
"Okay, lead the way!" said Kel, ignoring all implications of Sunny's previous statement and heading to the door. But not before getting rid of the insult to culinary arts that he calls a meal.
they embarked on the journey of the century as they made their way to Land of The Geeks™ (otherwise known as Hobbeez).
"Okay, so I was thinking we shou-" Kel stated before getting interrupted by our favorite asshole.
"we should get him weed." said Sunny with little to no hint of irony in his voice. Kel decided to take it as a joke either way since he's already made so many "dark jokes" before (were these even jokes? he wasn't so sure anymore.)
"first: what the fuck. second: why the fuck. and third: where the fuck are you gonna get the weed from?"
"uhhh what was the name of that gay flower kid that my brain is trying to repress for some reason?"
"Basil?"
"oh yeah Bagel that guy i think he's got the good stuff."
"What makes you so sure?"
"i dunno let's just see. if he doesn't we'll just buy him medicine cause he's studying to become a doctor."
"of course he's studying to become a doctor... that fucking nerd." he muttered that part under his breath, Kel heard him but he didn't know how to respond so he just went ahead and took the lead to... wait, where are they going to find Basil again?
"Wait, where are we gonna find Basil again?" asked Kel like the fucking dumbass (affectionately) he is.
"his house you fucking idiot." answered Sunny to the fucking dumbass's (derogatory) question.