my fourth favorite public building to visit

by lolotr

Summary:

Featuring children's librarians Edwin and Niko, mum and dad Charles and Crystal, excessive flirting, storytime, and enough queer tomfoolery to give your heart a bedazzled rainbow upgrade. Happy Pride.

Chapter 1: Edwin

Notes:

title is a niko quote because i had to

This is going to be the thing that kills him. They will write on his tombstone, Here lies Edwin Payne. He was entirely too gay for this nonsense.  

 

He’s trying to focus on The Hobbit, on the children he’s reading to. This is usually not an issue; Edwin adores Saturday story time. The children are a captivated audience, gasping and laughing and begging for just one more chapter when time is up. It’s a good chapter, too, Bilbo lost in the caves under the Misty Mountains, finding his way to Gollum and the Ring. 

 

Edwin’s Gollum voice is excellent, if he does say so himself.

 

But lately, his attention has been diverted considerably by one Charles Rowland. His son, Theo, is one of Edwin’s favourites (not that he will ever admit to having favourites), and no, that isn’t because his father is the most beautiful man Edwin has ever seen, thank you very much. 

 

He’s said as much to Niko, who politely pretends to believe him. 

 

Charles is just so lovely, and vibrant, and he clearly adores his son in a way that makes Edwin’s heart race. He didn’t think a doting father would be the key to his libido, but maybe turning thirty does change some things about you. 

 

When he closes the book to the familiar chorus of complaints, he asks, “What did everyone think?” As usual, there’s a cacophony of replies.

 

“I liked your voices this time, Mr. Edwin!” says Lizzie.

 

“I wish I had a magic ring like Bilbo so I could hide when mummy wants me to clean my room,” grumbles James, while his father valiantly attempts to hide his laughter.

 

“I don’t think Bilbo was fair with his riddles to Gollum,” says Theo from Charles’s lap. “He tricked him! Isn’t he meant to be the good guy?”

 

That’s really why Theo is one of his favourites, irrespective of the attractiveness of his parent. He’s just so bloody clever. 

 

“What makes you say that, Theo?” Edwin asks.

 

“He’s the one the story is about.”

 

“That’s true. But do you remember what we learned when we read The True Story of the Three Little Pigs ?”

 

“The person the story is about isn’t always nice!” pipes up Josie. “They’re just the propra—prot—the word you told us.” 

 

“Protagonist, sweetheart. Good memory.” 

 

Josie beams.

 

“But Bilbo is nice in other ways,” protests Theo, crossing his arms and pouting, slouching back against his father’s chest. 

 

Charles catches Edwin’s eye over his son’s head, grinning widely. Edwin forces himself to focus around his fluttering pulse and the things he’d like to do to that jawline. (There are children here, for Christ’s sake. Pull yourself together, Payne.)

 

“Yes, he is. Characters can sometimes make mistakes or do bad things, even if they’re not bad people.”

 

“But why?”

 

“Well, that makes them more like us, don’t you think?” Edwin says gently. “I find great comfort in reading stories where heroes make mistakes, because it reminds me that when I make a mistake, I can still be the hero of a story, if I’d like to be.” Glancing at his watch, he says, “I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for today. I’ll see you all next week, hm?”

 

As usual, he gets tackled under a pile of seven-to-ten year olds who all want to give him hugs and haven’t entirely figured out the concept of waiting their turn. It’s a bit overwhelming, but he’s had a few years to get used to it. Not to mention, their unbridled affection is rather gratifying. 

 

The parents mostly disperse with their children, but as usual, Charles lingers after sending Theo off to choose a few books to check out for the week. As usual, Edwin reminds his heart not to pick up just because he’s being friendly; the man is married , for Christ’s sake. 

 

“Excellent performance as always,” Charles says with a grin. “You could give Andy Serkis a run for his money.”

 

“Hardly,” Edwin scoffs, trying not to blush. “I don’t know how he did that for two entire films without ruining his voice, when my throat hurts after thirty minutes.”

 

“I think he called it Gollum Juice?” Charles says, and Edwin chokes on his own saliva. “Yeah, it sounds disgusting, but it was basically tea with loads of honey and ginger and stuff. He’s talked about it in interviews.”

 

It’s not fair that everything about this man seems pulled out of a book entitled Everything Edwin Finds Attractive, The Completed Works. “Yes, well,” he says, trying to force down a blush, “I won’t be giving up my day job.”

 

“You shouldn’t, you’re aces at this,” Charles says easily. “I wish I’d had someone half as nice as you to talk to me about complexity and forgiving myself when I was a kid.”

 

“Can I quote you as calling me nice the next time a patron files a complaint about me?”

 

“Who in the world is complaining about you?” Charles actually looks angry on his behalf, and Edwin has to remind himself that he’s just being nice. He can’t fall for every man who is nice to him.

 

“Primarily homophobic detritus accusing me of corrupting the youth, but I do get told I’m off-putting every once in a while.”

 

“If you’re off-putting to anyone, I have a hard time believing it’s not their fault.”

 

“Yes, well. Tell that to my superiors.”

 

“Give me names, and I absolutely will,” Charles replies with a cheeky grin. “Seriously, though, you’re a bloody treasure. Theo struggled so much with reading until you came along and helped us realise he was dyslexic. Hell, you helped me realise I’m dyslexic.”

 

Smiling, Edwin asks, “Like father, like son?” 

 

Charles laughs harder than the joke warrants, and Edwin feels distinctly that he is missing something. “I sure hope not, because that would mean I passed it on through sheer force of will, and I don’t think that makes me a very good dad.”

 

“I don’t think you get a say in what traits you pass on to your children,” Edwin says slowly. 

 

“What? Oh, bloody hell, you don’t—” Charles runs a hand through his hair, but he’s smiling. “Theo isn’t mine, by blood anyway. He is in every way that matters.”

 

Edwin is caught between surprise and swooning. He tries his hardest to go with surprise. “What, really?”

 

Charles laughs. “Yeah, really. I always think it’s obvious, because he looks so much like Crys—his mum. But yeah, I guess if you didn’t know, it's an easy assumption to make.”

 

Edwin tries not to get stuck on Charles calling this Crys person Theo’s mum rather than my wife. It probably doesn’t mean anything. “You did introduce yourself as his father. Far be it from me to inquire into the particulars.”

 

“That’s the benefit of being a straight-passing couple, innit?” Charles says with a wry grin. “No one asks gross, invasive questions about where your baby came from.”

 

Straight passing. Straight passing. Straight passing. Edwin absolutely should not ask. 

 

But evidently his brain is offline, so his mouth plunders on. “Straight passing?”

 

“Wha—yeah.” He unfolds his jacket from where it’s draped over his arm and points to a blue, pink, and purple pin. “Bisexual. I try to make it obvious, but I guess I’m naught for two. Me and Crys both are, so unless we’re loud about it, we hear plenty of crap from people who assume we’re straight.”

 

“I’m sorry. That sounds hard.”

 

“Nah, it’s all right. We have each other to keep from killing anyone. At least no one is saying I’m too gay to do my job, that’s bollocks.”

 

“Yes, it rather is. The library has a very strict policy, though, so I’ve never been worried. We have explicit permission to throw people out if necessary.”

 

Charles very blatantly eyes him up and down, taking in the bow tie and the tweed and the neatly pressed slacks. Edwin does his best not to flush. When Charles meets his eye again, he is quite clearly trying to keep his scepticism to himself. “No offence, mate, but I don’t think you’d be the best at that.”

 

“I’ll have you know that I attended the Duke of York’s Royal Military School.”

 

Charles stares at him blankly. “You’re shitting me.”

 

“Don’t fret, I have let my muscles atrophy in the intervening years, so I have a physique more befitting a librarian than a soldier. But I am still capable enough to strongarm homophobes, especially since they never seem to expect it.”

 

He’s not sure if he imagines Charles’s eyes flicking down to his arms before saying, “No shit. That’s brilliant.”

 

“For someone with a small child, you certainly swear a lot.”

 

“Ah, shit, sorry.” His eyes widen, and he covers his mouth with both hands and giggles. (Giggles. Bleeding Christ.) “Sorry. I’m usually better about filtering when there’s other kids around. Me and Crys don’t bother with Theo, since he’s bound to hear worse out and about London, and at the shelter.”

 

“Shelter?”

 

Charles smiles like he can’t help it. “Crys runs a centre for people who’re trying to get out of bad situations at home, gives them a leg up. Me and Theo visit all the time, and you can imagine it’s not the most soft-spoken bunch.”

 

“I should think not.” So not only did he have feelings for a married man, like a common homewrecker, but his interest’s wife is a literal angel, so he can’t even guiltily fantasise about breaking them up without feeling like the worst person on Earth. 

 

Excellent. He’s an absolute buffoon. 

 

“Actually, I promised her I’d ask, but it slipped my mind,” Charles says, still smiling infuriatingly, “d’you think you’d be interested in running an event together? The shelter and the library, I mean. There’s a lot of kids who could use a place like this, and people like you and Niko.”

 

“I—I’d have to see if we have the resources—”

 

“Not an issue, mate. FYD can cover it, especially if they’d be the ones bringing you in. I know public libraries aren’t exactly rolling in it.” He pulls a business card out of his wallet, scribbles something on the back, and hands it to Edwin. “There’s Crystal’s information if you want to meet, and my mobile as well if you’d rather talk to me about it first. Or talk to me at all, I wouldn’t mind,” he adds with another grin. 

 

Did he just—

 

“Dad,” Theo calls, just quietly enough to get away with, “we’re gonna be late for practice!”

 

Charles rolls his eyes. “Heaven forbid,” he mutters to Edwin under his breath. Louder, he says, “We can’t be late for practice, Theo, I’m the coach.”

 

“So shouldn’t you be setting a good example?”

 

“All right, I’m coming.” Turning back to Edwin, he asks hopefully, “See you next week?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Aces.” He throws his arm around Theo’s shoulder and walks him out, asking about the books he’d gotten and listening carefully as Theo rambles.

 

Edwin is well and truly fucked.

Notes:

Did I immediately finish a multichap fic and then dive into a new, different multichap fic? Yes. But at least I'm not posting it before I'm done writing this ti--oh, wait.

But I DO have most of it written, so I should be able to post fairly regularly. Or who knows, maybe I'll have zero self control and post a chapter every day! WE'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE.

Also this will be part of a series because I already have WAY too many ideas already written for this goddamn AU.

A thousand sweet kisses to shadowquill17. Have you read their new fic???? You should read their new fic. It will destroy you. In a good way. Probably.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos are my lifeblood, and you can find me on tumblr at lolotr if you want to freak out about DBD, send me a prompt, and hyperfixate into the sunset

Chapter 2: Crystal

Crystal sips her soda, watching her best friend, partner of ten years, father of her child, platonic love of her life, and fucking himbo of all time fall apart across from her on the couch. He has his face buried in his arms, and is clearly only kept from screaming in (sexual) frustration by the knowledge that their son is asleep. 

 

“He didn’t even realise I’m bi, Crys,” Charles moans. “He’s just so bloody hot, and adorable, and smart, and I don’t know how I’m meant to be more obvious without blowing him behind the circulation desk.”

 

Crystal rolls her eyes. “There are a few steps between flirting and public indecency that you’re missing. I’d say go for it, but there’s no way you won’t be arrested, and that would look bad for the shelter. So maybe, what about this novel concept? Ask him on a fucking date. It’s not like you to be so hesitant about this kind of thing.”

 

“But what if I’ve misread things and he’s just being nice, and then it gets horrendously awkward? You don’t have time to bring Theo to the library every week, so I’d just have to sit there and suffer while he does all these cute voices and never speaks to me again.”

 

“Charles, the man is gay and has eyes.”

 

Lifting his head out of his hands with a cheeky grin, he asks, “You saying I’m hot?”

 

Crystal kicks him, and he lets her. “He also clearly likes you, since Theo is the one who has to drag you away every time you’re there. He’d be stupid to turn you down for one date , even if he’s not as interested in you as you are in him. Which, given the evidence, is extremely unlikely.”

 

“What if he doesn’t want the drama of dating a guy with a kid?”

 

“Charles, I swear to God you’re driving me to drink. Go get me chocolate if I have to keep listening to this.” She nudges him with her foot, harder than necessary. “He’s a fucking children’s librarian. You’re catastrophizing for no reason.”

 

Groaning, he hauls himself to his feet to dip into their secret sweets stash. Theo can’t have any because he can’t taste the difference between regular and expensive chocolate, and at the rate he eats he’d put them out of house and home in a month, even with Crystal’s considerable wealth. So he gets Cadbury eggs, and the two of them dip into the Belgian stuff once he’s in bed.

 

Collapsing back on the couch, Charles says, “I just wish he’d be the one to make a move, just so I can be sure I’m not making him uncomfortable by hitting on him at his work.”

 

“That’s sweet and everything, but he literally told you today that he’s capable of manhandling people who are jerks.” Crystal does not miss the way Charles’s eyes glaze over a bit at that. She will mock him for it later. “If he wanted you gone, you would be. So try again. Why the self-sabotage?”

 

“You know, some days I really regret making you go to therapy.”

 

She kicks him again, hard enough to make him drop his chocolate. 

 

“Ow, Jesus. Okay. I dunno, I guess—it’s just weird how much I like him already.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I can just—I can feel how easily I’d fall for him, if I had the chance. It’s like I have this sense of how important he could be to me, and I’m not used to it.” His foot starts bouncing where it’s dangling off the edge of the couch. “You and Theo have been the centre of my universe for a decade, and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that to change.”

 

“Hey,” Crystal says, scooching forward so she can wrap his hands in hers, “you know that you won’t be like, letting us down if you find someone, right? Theo has a big heart, he’s got enough room in there for three parents, easy. And I think you’re the fucking greatest person on the planet, and you deserve someone to make puppy eyes at, yeah?” He fixes her with said puppy eyes, and she adds, “Someone they’ll actually work on.”

 

Charles snorts. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.” He sighs. “It’s more that I don’t know if I’m up for it, you know?”

 

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, and we have a nine year old. You have so much goddamn love to give, Charles. I know you’ve put dating on the backburner to focus on Theo, but he’s a big kid now. He doesn’t need us like he used to.” She clears her throat, forcing down tears at that idea. “Anyway, you clearly have it bad for this guy. You owe it to yourself to see where it goes.”

 

“I guess so.”

 

“I know so.” She stuffs the last piece of chocolate in her mouth and says around it, “Did you actually manage to ask him about bringing them in, or were you too caught up in your dumb bisexual pining?”

 

“Yeah, I gave him your card. And my number.”

“ Attaboy! ”

Notes:

Okay, I'm posting the first two chapters at once, but THAT'S IT. It's only because they're both the intro/setup. And I also might post a oneshot that takes place in this same universe. But I'm TOTALLY NORMAL GUYS

Chapter 3: Charles

Notes:

just in case you missed it, i posted two chapters yesterday! this is chapter three. make sure to read those first :)

“Quit fucking bouncing," Crystal mutters. "You look like a lunatic.”

 

They’re waiting for Edwin and Niko at the front desk, and Charles is nervous. Not about the meeting, that should go fine—he hardly even needs to be here for it. But he’s trying to psych himself up to ask Edwin out afterwards, on pain of Crystal humiliating him in public.

 

And look, he knows he’s being ridiculous in a way that’s not his usual brand. He’s never had an issue with asking someone out, though admittedly he’s got more experience with women than men. 

 

But something about Edwin is telling him to tread carefully. 

 

He feels his face break out into a grin when the man himself rounds the corner, followed by Niko. God, he really is beautiful. Edwin's face belongs in the National Portrait Gallery. 

 

“Hello, Charles. I hope you weren’t waiting too long.”

 

Charles expects Crystal to say something snarky to out him as the lovestruck mess that he is, but she’s staring at Niko with a dazed look on her face. 

 

Interesting.

 

“Nah, we just got here. Edwin, Niko, this is Crystal.”

 

His partner manages to shake herself out of it enough to shake their hands, but Charles doesn't miss that she holds Niko’s hand longer than necessary.

 

Very interesting.

 

“It’s really nice to meet you, Crystal,” Niko says with a smile. “We’ve heard so much about you.”

 

That helps Crystal recover. Nothing gets her brain back online faster than the chance to be sarcastic. “I don’t know which scares me more, if you heard about me from Charles or my kid,” she replies wryly.

 

“Oi! I’ll have you know I do nothing but sing your praises.”

 

Crystal manages to tear her eyes away from Niko long enough to roll them. “Great, so you save the roasting for when we’re alone. Remind me why I like you again?”

 

“I make excellent arm candy,” Charles says with a wink at Edwin, who flushes. It’s a really pretty look on him. (Charles has yet to find a bad look on him.)

 

“Yes. Well. Right this way.”

 

The meeting goes as smoothly as Charles expected. All he has to do is sip his chai while the three of them come up with a game plan. He always loves watching Crystal work—she’s an incredible mum, but she’s really found her purpose with FYD. Niko has great ideas for how to connect with some of the more isolated kids, and she and Crystal volley back and forth easily. (Which is very, very interesting.)

 

And Edwin…he cares so bloody much, and it’s the most stunning thing Charles has ever seen. He listens carefully as Crystal outlines the needs of the kids in her care, green eyes intent and intelligent, and he bends over backwards to make sure their plan is broad enough to meet as many as they can. 

 

Charles really, really wants to kiss him.

 

Soon.

 

When they’ve dotted all the i’s, Crystal leans back in her chair with a satisfied smile. “I knew this would be a great idea. Charles told me about how much amazing children’s programming you guys do here, and I was like, ‘We need that.’ I love what I do, but I mostly learned on the job, so I don’t have the perspective or training you guys do.”

 

“I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit,” Niko says before Charles can. He grins at her. “Besides, knowing who to ask for the answer when you don’t have one yourself is a really important skill.”

 

“Believe me, there’s nothing that will teach you to ask for help quite like starting a nonprofit at twenty. Really good for deflating the ego like a sad balloon.”

 

Edwin raises his eyebrows. “Twenty? That’s quite impressive.”

 

Charles grins wider. “She’s an impressive person.”

 

“Well, I had a lot of money and a lot of anger, and I figured I might as well do something with it. I was only able to get myself out of an abusive relationship because I had my own money and Charles to help me, but plenty of people don’t have that. So I made it for them. For a while it was mostly food and shelter, then counselling, but it’s gotten big enough that I want to do more stuff like this.” She gestures at the mess of papers on the table between the four of them. 

 

Charles can practically see the hearts in Niko’s eyes as she says, “That’s really amazing, Crystal.”

 

He nudges Crystal’s foot under the table, and really has to resist waggling his eyebrows at her. Crystal shoots him a glare, then stands. 

 

“Okay, I have to get back, but thank you guys so much. Call me if you have any questions or if anything comes up, and I’ll see you next week.”

 

Niko hops up and says, “I’ll walk you out!”

 

Crystal looks at Charles with mild panic in her eyes, but he just says, “I’ll see you at home, Crys.” He is very much looking forward to learning what that is all about. He at least has the decency to wait until they're out of earshot to say to Edwin, “They seem to get along well, don’t they?”

 

“Yes,” Edwin replies, but he’s frowning at their retreating backs. 

 

“Listen, thanks again for doing this. You guys are brills, and I know Crystal really appreciates it.”

 

“Yes,” Edwin says again, standing and avoiding Charles’s eyes. His heart sinks a bit. “Just doing our job. Speaking of which, I should get back to it. We left one of the reference librarians in charge of the children’s section, so I should relieve her before catastrophe strikes.” It’s clearly a joke, but Edwin’s tone sounds off. His eyes flick up to Charles’s for the barest second before looking away. “Lovely seeing you, Charles.” Then he’s gone.

 

Charles has half a mind to follow him and ask him what the hell is wrong, but he feels completely off balance. Edwin has never been cold like that before. He doesn’t know what happened to their easy banter, but he was counting on it to help him ask Edwin out. 

 

Maybe he misjudged things after all.

Notes:

guess who's immediately made herself a liarrrrrrrrrrrrr

look, i finished chapter 7 today, which means i can post this. as a treat. i still have plenty of leeway. shut up.

thank you to everyone who's commented so far, im so glad you're enjoying it! here's a smidgen of angst, but don't worry, it won't stick around for long :D

also, if you're playing a drinking game, add every time edwin says "yes. well." to your list

Chapter 4: Niko

Notes:

since pride month is now over, i regret to inform you everyone is straight now. no, yeah, they were just confused.

...

JUST KIDDING GET READY FOR SOME MLM AND WLW UP IN THIS BIZ

Niko isn’t a stranger to crushes; she’s had a few of her own and has read plenty of stories about them. And as much as she loves the pink-tinged meet-cute where the two characters lock eyes and immediately fall in love, she didn’t think that kind of thing could happen in real life. 

 

But now that she’s met Crystal Palace, she gets it. Crystal swooped in with her bright eyes and compassionate soul and fiery attitude, and Niko doesn’t think the word “crush” is strong enough. 

 

Niko didn’t have any specific plans when she offered to walk Crystal out, but now that she’s doing it, she’s a little worried. Because it’s really not far from the meeting room to the front door, and she has to think fast (like, the next thirty seconds fast) if she wants to get Crystal’s number before she leaves. Her personal one, not the one on her business card. (Not that Edwin will let her near the business card, given that it has Charles’s number handwritten on it.)

 

When they get to the door, they hover, and Niko is panicking a bit but also not, because Crystal is really easy to talk to, and she clearly doesn’t want to go yet, and she genuinely looks interested in Niko’s infodumping about the first kid she helped to coax out of his shell.

 

“After that, it kind of became an unofficial rule at the centre that I’d work with all the quiet kids, since they knew I wouldn’t try to pressure them to talk until they were ready.” She beams, and tries to think of a way to turn the conversation, when—

 

“Niko, are you free next Thursday night?” Crystal asks suddenly. 

 

Niko’s eyes widen, heart speeding up in her chest. 

 

“For a date,” Crystal clarifies, as if she needs to. “Do you want to go on a date with me next week?” When Niko takes too long to answer, she starts babbling. “Shit, I’m sorry for interrupting you, that’s such a shitty thing to do. I just—I really do have to go, but I want you to keep talking, and I want to get to know you outside of a stupid business meeting, so—”

 

“Yes, I want to go on a date with you,” Niko says simply. She can feel her smile getting too big for her face, but she doesn’t care. 

 

Crystal smiles back at her, and it’s so dazzling Niko almost has to blink sunspots out of her eyes. 

 

“Awesome. Um, do you know the Tongue and Tail? Best sandwiches you’ve ever eaten.”

 

“Oh yeah! My friend Jenny runs it.”

 

Crystal’s mouth drops open. (She’s still pretty though. Nothing could make her any less pretty. It’s kind of impressive.) “You’re friends with Jenny Green? She seems so…”

 

“Yeah, but she’s a huge softie under the tattoos and really dark lipstick.”

 

Crystal smiles in a way that Niko thinks is not about Jenny. Her heart picks up again. 

 

“You’ll have to introduce me,” she says easily. “Could we meet there next Thursday at seven? I wish we could do sooner, but I’ll probably be working late this week, and Sundays are our family days, so there’s not really a good time before then.”

 

“Crystal, it’s okay.” She quickly opens her phone to a new contact page and holds it out. “We can keep in touch in the meantime.”

 

Crystal adds her number and lets their hands brush and linger for longer than she needs to when she gives it back. Then her own phone beeps, and she swears, glancing at it before looking back at Niko apologetically. 

 

“Sorry, I really have to go. Text me, and I’ll see you next week?”

 

Niko’s cheeks are starting to hurt from how hard she’s smiling. “I will.”

 

She lingers by the door to watch Crystal walk away, but she’s not even out of sight before Niko sends her a message. 

 

I really like your jacket, by the way

 

She can see Crystal pull out her phone again, but she smiles this time, then turns and waves before rounding the corner. 

 

thanks. id probably have dressed a bit nicer if i knew how cute edwin’s coworker was

ive been hearing A LOT about how cute edwin is. and now i need to yell at charles for holding out on me

 

Oooooooooooo that is very important news

And thanks :)

 

Niko does a little happy dance before scurrying off to find Edwin. It’s the middle of the school day, so she doesn’t feel guilty about bothering him. 

 

There’s a stiffness in his shoulders when she finds him shelving books, though, so she decides her good news can wait a little. “Edwin? What’s the matter?”

 

“Nothing,” he replies with a tight smile. “I’m fine.”

 

Like she believes that. “You’re usually much happier after seeing Charles.”

 

“Forgive me for not leaping for joy after having his marital bliss rubbed in my face,” he snaps. “I knew I was getting too attached, but that didn’t stop me from flirting with him like a lovesick puppy. I can’t believe I let myself be so stupid. ”

 

Niko waits until he’s talked himself into a huffy, pining silence. “Are you done? Because I have some news that will be interesting to you.”

 

She watches her caring, amazing best friend put aside his hurt to listen. As if she’d ever ask him to do that. “What is it?” he asks.

 

Niko feels her smile grow into cheek-hurty territory again. “Crystal asked me on a date.”

 

“She what ?”

 

“I know, right? I told you I thought Charles was single. He doesn’t wear a ring, he never calls her his wife or partner, and he doesn’t talk about Crystal like he’s in love with her. They just sound like best friends. And he was definitely flirting with you. Crystal even says he’s been talking a lot about you at home. I knew it, I knew it, I told you so, I knew it!”

 

“Niko, they’re married. They have a child .”

 

“He’s not even Charles’s birth kid. There is literally no evidence that they’ve ever even had sex.”

 

“There’s no evidence that they haven’t, either,” Edwin pouts. “And you know better than anyone that sex does not a romantic relationship make. Besides, you saw them together. They… fit.”

 

Edwin looks so sad that her heart would be crying if she didn’t know he was just being ridiculous. “They’ve been partners for years, and they’re raising a kid together, of course they fit. But there’s no way Charles has feelings for her, not with how he was looking at you.”

 

That got his attention. She thought it might. 

 

“How… how was he looking at me?”

 

“You know how in anime, their pupils turn into hearts?”

 

Edwin scoffs. 

 

“I’m serious! He was watching you talk about how to make programming inclusive for kids with ADHD like he wanted to have your babies.”

 

Predictably, Edwin chokes. “Niko!”

 

She shrugs. “Well, he was. And if he can ignore the prettiest girl in existence to look at you like that ? Yeah, it’s true love.”

 

“ Niko, ” he says again, but he sounds pained this time. 

 

“I’m going to hug you now, okay?”

 

He nods, and she does. Just a quick one.

 

“I know you’ve been spending a lot of energy trying not to get your hopes up, but I think you can let them fly.”

 

“I…I don’t think I could share him, Niko,” he says, voice barely a whisper.

 

“Between you and me, I really don’t think you’ll have to,” she replies softly. “Talk to him on Saturday, okay?”

 

He sighs heavily. “I will. At the very least, I should apologise for brushing him off this afternoon.”

 

“You should.”

 

Clearing his throat, Edwin straightens and gets back to shelving. “Now, tell me about this date.”

 

Niko grins again, bouncing on her toes. “We’re meeting at the Tongue & Tail next Thursday at seven. But also, I got her number and may have already started texting her.” She squeals as quietly as she can and claps her hands together noiselessly. She’s gotten used to containing herself at the library.

 

Edwin’s smile is much more genuine this time. “That sounds wonderful. It’s been too long since you’ve had someone.”

 

“I have you , silly. It’s not like I’m sitting alone in my room all the time.”

 

“You know what I mean. A girl. Someone who isn’t gay as a maypole.”

 

Niko laughs. “I hope she’s at least a little gay, or we might have a problem.”

 

He rolls his eyes at her. “ You know what I mean .”

 

Satisfied that Edwin is at least feeling himself enough to be sassy, she goes back to gushing. “I do. Someone with curly brown hair and Doc Martens and a really cool purple leather jacket and a non-profit that’s saving people’s lives. And an adorable kid I can talk to about manga. And a really cute friend for my friend to ride off into the sunset with. Oo, we could have double dates, wouldn’t that be cute?”

 

“Perhaps you’re getting a bit ahead of yourself, hm?”

 

“It’s fun to get a little carried away, though, isn’t it? It’s nice to feel that way about someone.”

 

“I suppose,” he says dubiously. 

 

“This is why we’re such good friends, Edwin. Between the two of us, there’s one person who has realistic expectations.”

 

Edwin laughs for the first time all day, and Niko grins in triumph.

Chapter 5: Edwin

Edwin is up with the sun on Saturday morning. He feels more than a little ridiculous about the level of care he takes with his appearance, as though he hasn’t been wearing pretty well the same clothing and hairstyle for the last fifteen years. 

 

Still, he looks slightly more put together than usual, despite his less than ideal night of sleep. 

 

After a couple of hours and far too many cups of black tea, Edwin finally gives up and heads into work early. At least there, he can find something to do with his hands. Or he can faceplant in a beanbag chair and scream until the patrons arrive. He really isn’t picky.

 

He gets his wish—the first, not the second—and hardly has a spare moment once he hangs up his coat. He doesn’t get more than a passing wave from Niko; Saturdays are the busiest day of the week, so he can’t chatter away his nerves like he usually would. It drags on, and for better or for worse, he wishes for one o’clock, since at least then it will be over . 

 

The time does finally arrive, though Edwin is fairly certain the laws of physics are having a good laugh at him with how bloody long it took. The usual gaggle is waiting, spread out over various beanbag chairs and cushions. Notably, though, Theo is alone. Edwin’s heart lurches. In all the months they have been coming to the library, Charles has never left Theo by himself.

 

As inconspicuously as he can, Edwin glances around. There. Charles is sitting in an armchair, studiously reading a comic book. At least, that is what he seems to be doing. But he’s a bit too still, too focused. Even from across the room, Edwin can read the rigidity in his posture.

 

Charles is avoiding him. 

 

It makes sense, though it does make Edwin’s heart sink. He doesn’t want Charles to lose out on time with his son or, God forbid, stop coming to the library altogether because of Edwin’s poor behaviour. He hopes he can make it right.

 

Giving himself a mental shake, he reminds himself he can’t think about that right now. He has storytime to conduct. 

 

Helpfully, this week’s chapter is an exciting one, with a great many character voices to keep track of. He gets through it by pointedly keeping his focus on the story and the children, refusing to let his eyes drift to any attractive fathers who might be in the vicinity. 

 

Before Edwin is entirely ready, storytime is over and the hugs have been dispensed, leaving him alone to shore up his courage. 

 

He takes a deep breath. If he could survive the military academy and his thesis defence, he can survive this. 

 

“Charles, may I speak with you a moment?”

 

Charles looks up, clearly startled, then stands. That easy smile is back on his face, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah, of course.”

 

“I wanted to apologise for being rude the other day. I was caught off guard, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

 

“‘S’fine,” Charles says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I also wanted to say sorry. If I made you uncomfortable, or anything. I thought you were on the same page as me, but—”

 

“I am,” Edwin interrupts quickly. “At least, I think I am. I’d quite like to be.”

 

A proper smile blooms across Charles’s face, small but warm, like the glow of a fire. Maybe this is a mistake, if only because Edwin is not entirely certain he’ll survive it. 

 

“Good, because I don’t know how much harder I could have flirted with you.”

 

Edwin feels his face heat up. “It’s not that I didn’t notice, I just—I thought you were married.”

 

Charles drops his face into his hands, but he’s laughing, so it can’t be all that bad. “Bloody hell, Crys is gonna have a field day with me.” He looks back up at Edwin, still smiling, and takes a very deliberate step closer, making Edwin’s breath catch in his chest. “Let me make things clear. First of all, I am available, and I am very bloody interested in you. With me so far?”

 

Edwin nods mutely, voice caught in his throat. 

 

“Great. Second of all, Crys and I are married, but we’re not together. It was just the easiest way to raise Theo. She’s my best friend and my family and I love her to bits, but not like that. We’re not in an open relationship or anything, yeah? I’m asking you out in the most monogamous way possible.”

 

Edwin, again, can only nod. 

 

“But, erm,” Charles pauses to rake a hand through his hair. “If we’re gonna be anything, you need to know that Theo and Crystal are my world. I’m obviously open to expanding my world to include you, but I—I can’t promise you’ll always be my top priority. And I can’t really do casual, I can’t bring someone into Theo’s life if they’re not gonna stick around. I know that’s a lot to put on you, and it’s not what most blokes are looking for in a boyfriend, but—”

 

Edwin finds his voice quickly at the word boyfriend . “Charles, I completely understand. I don’t expect you to drop your family for me, or invite me in on a whim. I’d never ask that of you. Quite the opposite, in fact. If you were the sort of man to do that, I wouldn’t be nearly as taken with you as I am.”

 

Charles beams . There’s no other word for it. He’s shining like the sun, but he’s looking at Edwin like he is the one glowing. 

 

“Great, when do you get off?”

 

Edwin raises his eyebrows.

 

“ Of work. When are you—bloody hell.” He covers his face with his hands again, but not before Edwin can see a gorgeous blush rise up his face. 

 

“Saturdays are my longest days,” he says regretfully, “so unfortunately I’ll be out of commission tonight. But Sunday and Monday are my days off.”

 

Charles pushes a hand through his hair again, and Edwin is momentarily lost in the desire to do that for him. He wants to know if his curls are as soft as they look. 

 

“I can’t do tomorrow, but Monday? Lunch, maybe?”

 

“That sounds lovely.”

 

“Brills. I gotta go, but I’ll text you? Wait, I don’t have your number. Text me so I have your number, then I’ll text you.” He chuckles. “I swear I’m not usually this much of a mess. I really do have my life together.”

 

Edwin drops his voice a bit to ensure no one else hears him. “To be honest, I quite like you a mess.”

 

Charles tips his head back and groans. Edwin has to forcibly remind himself that he’s in public, and even if he wasn’t, it’s probably bad form to bite someone’s Adam's apple before you’ve even kissed him.

 

“If you’re trying to kill me before we’ve even gone on a date, you’re doing a bang up job.” Edwin has barely even opened his mouth when Charles adds with a glare, “That is not an invitation for another innuendo.”

 

Edwin laughs.

 

“Theo!” Charles calls, glancing towards the graphic novels, where Theo is talking with Niko. “Come on, we’re gonna be late for practice.”

 

Theo hops up and gathers his books. “Isn’t that my line?”

 

“Not today, kiddo.” Charles ruffles his hair as they leave, but he holds Edwin’s eyes until they’re out the door.

Chapter 6: Charles

Notes:

buckle up friendos, here's where the fic earns its rating. see end notes for spoilers/how to skip

hey, i know we agreed on lunch today, but could i convince you to have breakfast with me instead?

i just dropped theo off to school and i dont much fancy waiting four more hours to see you

 

Fortunately, I’m an early riser even on my days off. Breakfast sounds lovely. Did you have somewhere in mind?

 

dyou know two crows?

 

Yes. I can meet you there in an hour?

 

aces 

see you soon

 

Charles lasts forty minutes before he has to get out of the flat. He doesn’t need twenty minutes to get to the cafe, but he sure as hell can’t sit still any longer. He arrives in record time, then circles the block until he’s no longer obscenely early. Just very early. He orders tea to have something to do with his hands, and forces himself to slowly spoon honey into it to waste another minute.

 

He hasn’t been like this since he was a goddamn teenager. 

 

Charles is sat facing the door, so he has an excellent view of Edwin, bathed in midmorning sunlight, as he comes inside. He has a few seconds to stare before Edwin spots him. Then Edwin spots him, and he stares some more. He’s never seen Edwin in anything remotely casual, and the jumper he’s wearing is still more business than casual, but he looks soft in a way that has Charles’s heart turning over. 

 

“Hi,” he says as Edwin sits across from him. 

 

“Hello," Edwin says with a smile. "It’s good to see you outside of the children’s section.”

 

“Yeah, you too.” He spends a good five seconds drinking Edwin in and grinning like a lunatic. The jumper fits him really well. Charles never thought he’d be salivating over someone who’s covered from the neck down, but here he is. “You look really good. Not that you don’t always, but I’ve never seen you without a tie.”

 

Edwin’s cheeks tinge the faintest pink, and wow . “I may have left academia behind, but I can’t seem to stop dressing like a professor.”

 

“It really works for you, is all I’m saying.” Then his brain catches up. “Wait, how did you go from military school to professor to librarian?”

 

Edwin smiles wryly. “A long and winding road. My father was in the RAF, and I was always a bit too… delicate for his liking. He was trying to toughen me up for the big, bad world. As you can see, it didn’t take.”

 

“You seem plenty tough to me.”

 

“It didn’t make me any less gay or autistic, so I don’t think it had quite the impact he was hoping for. I—well.” He clears his throat. “We needn’t get into my tragic backstory on our first date.”

 

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but you really don’t have to worry about scaring me off.” Realising how that sounds, Charles tries to correct. “I just mean, I want to know everything about you.” Fuck, that’s even worse. “Okay, I’d totally understand if that scared you off with that.” He scrubs his hands over his face. “Jesus, I’m out of practice.”

 

When he glances out from between his fingers, Edwin’s smile has softened. “It didn’t. It’s actually quite gratifying to see that I’m not the only one who’s in a bit too deep already.”

 

Charles should stop trying not to smile; it’s clearly a useless case. “Yeah?”

 

“If you need me to affirm that, you haven’t been paying attention.” 

 

Their eyefucking—because that’s the only goddamn thing you can call it—is interrupted by the waitress coming by to take their orders. 

 

When she’s gone, Charles prompts, “So, you went to uni?”

 

“Oxford.”

 

Charles just barely refrains from rolling his eyes, but he can’t help the snort. 

 

“What?”

 

“You’re like, the poshest person I’ve ever met. Of course you went to bloody Oxbridge. You’re lucky I like smart boys.”

 

Edwin keeps a straight face when he says, “Indeed I am.”

 

Now Charles is the one blushing. “So why aren’t you distracting every queer guy in a lecture hall somewhere? Not that I’m complaining, mind. Only, I might have actually finished my course if my professors had looked like you.”

 

“Academia was a bit too cutthroat for me, I’m afraid. I was expected to tear others down in order to build myself up, and I didn’t have the stomach for it.”

 

Every single thing out of this man’s mouth makes Charles simultaneously want to tear all his clothes off and wrap him in a blanket to keep him safe. It’s a heady combination that he’s never felt before. 

 

“And oddly enough,” Edwin continues, “I found I missed working with people.”

 

“Why’s that odd?”

 

“I have not, historically, played well with others.”

 

“Well Mr. Oxford,” Charles says, resting his chin in his hand, “I see no evidence to back that up. Pretty shoddy hypothesis, if you ask me.”

 

Edwin looks pleased. “I will admit I have improved, but I also think you’re a rather special case. I’ve found a great many people consider me cold.”

 

“Are they mental? Have they seen you with kids?”

 

“It tends to be the adults I have trouble relating to.”

 

“I stand by what I said last week, that’s their own bloody problem. Anyway, it’s their loss, right?”

 

“Right.” Edwin gives him that soft smile again. Charles thinks he could spend his life coaxing that smile onto Edwin’s face. “Anyway,” Edwin clears his throat, “enough about me for the moment. What do you do with your time, Charles, other than vex hapless librarians?”

 

Charles laughs. “I’m a stay at home dad, mostly. Crystal has her own money, so I never went back to work after Theo was born. Nothing I could do beats raising him, anyway.”

 

“He’s lucky to have you.”

 

“I’m lucky to have him, honestly. It was weird circumstances, but I can’t imagine my life differently, now.”

 

Edwin hesitates before asking the expected question. To his credit, he asks much more respectfully than most other people bother to. “Do you mind me asking how you two… or is that too much? I wouldn’t want to deny you my tragic backstory then force you to tell your own.”

 

“Nah, my tragic backstory has nothing to do with Crystal,” he says easily. “That was the best decision of my life. A bit of it is hers to tell, so I’ll leave out the gory details. She can tell you herself.” He winks. 

 

Edwin rolls his eyes fondly.

 

“We were school friends, but we lost touch when I graduated. A couple years later, I spotted her in a pub and reconnected, but she…well, she didn’t look great. Her home life hadn’t been good in secondary, but this was worse. Her ex was..." Charles clenches his jaw. "A piece of work, to put it mildly. Crystal and I didn’t hang out much, because he didn’t like it, but I tried to be there for her as much as I could.”

 

Edwin inhales sharply, and Charles ploughs on. He doesn’t love reliving this part, but they wouldn’t be here without it. He’s getting to the good bit, anyway.

 

“Then out of nowhere, she calls me telling me she’s pregnant, she doesn’t want David to know, and she wants to get away. Get clean. And it’s like, finally I can do something for her, you know? She moved in with me, and we clicked right away. Proper soulmate shit, yin and yang, the whole shebang. Once she was in my life, I couldn’t imagine her out of it, so when she talked about how nervous she was to raise a kid on her own I just… offered. I was going to help her anyway, this way I could do it officially. Til death, and all that.”

 

“ Charles ,” is all Edwin says, but his voice sounds thick.

 

Shifting in his seat, he mumbles, “I just did what any decent person would do.”

 

“You—no. You are so far above and beyond decent that you are no longer in the range of its gravitational pull . ”

 

Charles is saved from responding by the arrival of their food, but Edwin keeps staring at him intensely. 

 

“Is there anything else I can get for you?” the waitress asks. 

 

“Actually,” Edwin says without breaking eye contact with Charles, “Could we get our food wrapped up and the cheque? Something rather pressing has come up.” Then he looks up at her with a charming smile. “I do apologise.”

 

Charles's heart thuds heavy in his chest.

 

The waitress is all smiles as she picks up their plates and leaves. 

 

Praying he’s not misreading this, Charles leans forward and asks lowly, “And by ‘something pressing,’ you mean…?”

 

Edwin smirks. “I’m not usually this forward, but would you like to accompany me back to my flat?”

 

“Yeah,” Charles says with a grin. “I’ve also had something come up that I think you can help me with.” He waggles his eyebrows for good measure. 

 

“That was horrific,” Edwin laughs, but his eyes darken. 

 

“You started it.”

 

“When I start something, Charles, you will be fully aware of it, I assure you.”

 

Fuck, Charles can not get a hard-on at half ten in the morning in a public place. The short argument they have over the cheque helps (“I asked you out, I’m paying for the bloody food”), as does the smiling face of the waitress, who does not need to be permanently scarred at her day job. She can probably figure it out, though—they are not remotely subtle as Edwin grabs the takeaway bag in one hand and Charles’s hand in the other and practically drags him outside. 

 

“Please tell me you live close, or I might do something that’ll get us arrested,” Charles says breathlessly as he’s led down the road. 

 

Edwin’s only response is another smirk and a kiss to the back of Charles’s hand, still linked with his own. 

 

Jesus Christ . 

 

Thankfully, Edwin doesn’t live far, and Charles has just enough patience to get them inside the flat before he slams into Edwin and kisses him hard. 

 

The kiss turns filthy pretty much immediately, Edwin’s mouth opening up beautifully under his. Charles pushes his hands into Edwin’s hair, and it’s thick and soft and still a bit slick with pomade. Then Edwin does something with his tongue that makes Charles’s fingers twitch, and Edwin moans into Charles’s mouth and breaks away to kiss along his jawline and neck. Charles tilts his head back, and it hits the wall—he has no bloody idea when they’d backed into it, but Edwin is using it to his advantage, pressing even closer to grind his hips down. There’s a bulge making itself known against Charles’s thigh, and he needs to do something about that yesterday . 

 

“Fuck, I’m—” he cuts himself off with a moan as Edwin bites his Adam’s apple. “Bedroom?” he finally manages to ask. 

 

With one last nip to his pulse point, Edwin pulls away. He already looks delightfully messy, mouth red and swollen and hair falling into his eyes, which are more black than green. “I could be persuaded.”

 

“I’m not opposed to wall sex, but maybe not for our first time, yeah?”

 

Edwin kisses him sweetly before toeing off his shoes and walking briskly away, leaving Charles standing, dazed, in the entry. “Are you coming?” Edwin calls over his shoulder, making Charles trip over his own feet in his hurry to kick off his trainers and follow. 

 

As soon as he catches up, Edwin is on him again, yanking off his shirt before kissing him soundly, walking them to the bed until Charles he has to sit. Then Edwin pulls off his jumper.

 

“Bloody hell, I thought you said you were atrophied,” Charles breathes.

 

“What?”

 

“You’re so fit.” Charles maps the muscles of Edwin’s stomach and chest, entranced. He’s solid, broad, where Charles is more wiry. He needs Edwin over him, pinning him, fucking him —

 

His body takes over, pulling Edwin down for a kiss and leaning back. Edwin, smart lad that he is, gets the message and climbs on top of him. It’s a bit hard to situate themselves because they refuse to stop kissing for long enough to make it easy. 

 

Worth it. 

 

Edwin’s body is weighing him down, pushing him into the mattress, and it’s amazing, but he needs more, harder, now . 

 

“Want you in me,” he whispers. “Is that—d’you want that?”

 

Slowly, Edwin hooks his hands beneath Charles’s knees, pushes them up, then grinds his clothed cock against Charles’s arse. 

 

Charles arches his back and keens . 

 

“Does that answer your inane question?”

 

Edwin has come back with lube and a condom before Charles finds his voice again. “It’s not inane to ask for preferences, you arsehole.”

 

“It’s not,” Edwin says, with a kiss to Charles’s cheek, before starting on his jeans. “It’s very sweet and considerate, but completely unnecessary. I want to do everything with you that is physically possible. I have for months.”

 

Charles shimmies his hips to help Edwin get his pants off, then grabs a pillow for his hips. “Me too,” he admits. “So get a bloody move on. Might take a sec, though, it’s been a while.”

 

“Not to worry,” Edwin says, stripping off his own trousers. “I’ll take care of you.”

 

Charles shivers and has to close his eyes for a second. “Keep talking like that, and we might not even get to the main event.”

 

“The benefit of meeting you early,” Edwin replies smoothly, spreading lube over his fingers, “is that I know for a fact you have no other plans for the next few hours. I could keep you here until you’re ready to go again.”

 

Charles feels his cock jump, and he presses his head back into the bed in an effort to get himself under control. “Fucking fuck , Edwin.”

 

“Too much?”

 

“No, I just need you to touch me.”

 

“As you wish.”

 

It takes Charles’s body a second to remember why it likes this, for that’s weird to melt into that’s good , but he gets there in record time. 

 

“Fucking hell, you’re good at this.”

 

Edwin hums. “I had a bit of a gay slag era in university.”

 

Charles laughs breathlessly. “Never thought I’d hear a word like that out of your mouth.”

 

That, somehow, is what makes Edwin look embarrassed. “That’s what Niko calls it,” he mumbles, blushing.

 

Charles laughs again, as much as he can without groaning. “It’s cute.”

 

Edwin flushes even darker. “Whatever you call it, it was an excellent learning experience.”

 

“Brilliant. Love that for me.”

 

“Quite.”

 

The fact that Edwin sounds so composed while Charles is fucking melting is really doing it for him. He wasn’t joking earlier—he could probably come from just Edwin’s voice, but even thinking about that isn’t helpful for the situation, namely trying not to fall apart from two fingers barely brushing his prostate on every stroke. 

 

By the time Edwin is up to three, Charles is on fire. He hasn’t had sex in a while, sure, but he’s fairly certain he’s never felt this good, and Edwin’s dick isn’t even in him yet. His voice sounds harsh and breathless when he finally can’t take it anymore and pants, “I’m ready, come on. ”

 

“You’re sure?”

 

“Fuck, yes, fucking need you.” He kicks Edwin lightly in the side. “Let’s get a move on.”

 

“In the future, I’m going to remind you you preceded our first time by asking me to get a move on ,” Edwin teases, removing his fingers, rolling on the condom, and slicking his cock. 

 

Charles glares at him, but the effect is probably undercut by him spreading his legs and pulling him down for a kiss. “You can say whatever you want later, as long as you fuck me now .”

 

“There’s a strong possibility I’ll make you regret that.”

 

Charles doesn’t have a chance to shoot anything back, because Edwin is pushing in and his vocal cords are kinda busy. He barely feels the burn, just good and hot and full in a way that makes him clench even tighter around it, fingers grasping into Edwin’s hair in a desperate attempt to stay grounded. 

 

Edwin’s voice is gratifyingly breathless when he mutters “ Charles ” into his neck after he bottoms out, holding still to give him time to adjust. Charles absolutely doesn’t need it and rolls his hips down, making Edwin swear, and Charles burns even hotter. 

 

Then Edwin starts moving. 

 

Charles drags his face up for a kiss, figuring that’s a better use for his mouth than moaning like he’s being paid for it. Edwin’s giving him long, deep thrusts that Charles feels all the way in his goddamn throat, every drag out sparking up his spine and every push in stealing the breath from his lungs. 

 

Their kiss turns messy and uncoordinated before it falls apart completely as Edwin speeds up. He pushes Charles’s leg back towards his chest, and the change in angle has him hitting Charles’s prostate dead on. He cries out and clutches Edwin’s hair like a lifeline as he really starts to fall apart. 

 

“ Fuck, Edwin, just like that. I’m so close, you’re so good, please touch me .”

 

Edwin’s hand on his cock is a fucking revelation, and he comes so hard he sees stars. Edwin fucks him through the aftershocks then follows, kissing him deeply as they both come down. Charles clings to him for dear life, whining a bit when he pulls out and away. 

 

“Just getting some tissues, love.”

 

The endearment adds to the soup of happy chemicals his brain is producing, and he basks in it as Edwin throws out the condom, cleans off their stomachs, then settles next to him only a few centimetres away. It’s a few centimetres too far, though, so Charles winds his limbs around the other man like an overly enthusiastic octopus to yank him closer. 

 

Edwin smiles and brings a hand to Charles’s cheek, stroking his thumb along the bone. “I want to be clear that just because I dragged you home to have my wicked way with you doesn’t mean I’m not serious about us.”

 

Charles grins, heart fluttering at us. “That’s good, because I want to date the hell out of you.”

 

“Likewise.” Edwin kisses him quickly but deeply. “I’m afraid I’m not used to being so attracted to someone so quickly, let alone someone I have come to admire a great deal.”

 

“Maybe we should keep our next few dates to your flat. Just to be safe.”

 

“I’m not certain there is enough time in the world for me to learn how to control myself around you, Charles.”

 

“You did for months.”

 

“That was before I knew you were available. Not to mention, it was before I heard what you sound like.” Edwin buries his face in Charles’s neck, placing a quick kiss there. Charles hums happily, and Edwin laughs, a quick puff of air against Charles’s collarbone. “I have no idea how I’m meant to keep my hands to myself on Saturday.”

 

“You’re doing a shit job convincing me you’re not only with me for my body.”

 

It’s a joke, but Edwin pulls back to look at him seriously. “I do find you almost absurdly attractive, but that’s far from all I like about you. You’re so good, Charles, it’s hard to believe you’re real.”

 

How is Charles meant to keep from kissing him after that?

 

Charles’s stomach ruins the moment by reminding him loudly that it hasn’t eaten anything today, and they both burst out laughing. 

 

“Okay, how’s about we finish our date?” Charles sits up and starts pulling on his boxers and t-shirt. No need to get fully dressed—if he has his way, he won’t stay dressed at all for long. “Or at least continue it. I don’t have to be anywhere today, so I’m happy to spend all of it trapped in your lair.”

 

“I certainly wouldn’t be opposed. When do you have to be home?”

 

“I’d like to be back before Theo goes to bed.” Edwin’s eyebrows shoot up, and Charles continues sheepishly, “I may have told Crystal she’d be soloing today.”

 

“Presumptuous.”

 

“But right,” Charles points out. “I can’t promise that for every date, but…”

 

Edwin kisses him again, softly. “Charles, I know. I didn’t expect it for this date, let alone any others, but I don’t want to say goodbye to you either. So let’s eat our reheated breakfast, and we’ll see where the day takes us.”

 

“Sounds mint,” Charles says with a grin.

Notes:

**Smut starts when they get to Edwin's apartment. skip to "Edwin smiles and brings a hand to Charles’s cheek"

THEY DID IT FAM, THEY DID A DATE!!!!!!!!! and i posted twice in under twelve hours. but you guys are just being so NICE and i only have a chapter and a half left to write, so I DESERVE THIS. YOU DESERVE THIS. THE UNITED STATES IS ON FIRE, WE CAN HAVE A CUTE DATE CHAPTER

Chapter 7: Niko

“You spent the entire day in bed?” Niko asks excitedly as they pull into the FYD lot. She’d respectfully waited until Edwin had finished half his tea before grilling him about his date with Charles, which unfortunately didn’t leave her a lot of time to get the juicy details before they got to the shelter. 

 

“Of course not, don’t be ridiculous,” Edwin says, but his ears are turning red. “We did have to eat . ”

 

She nods sagely. “Sex burns a lot of calories.”

 

“ Niko .”

 

“What? You’re both attractive, consenting adults, and clearly you're perfect together.” She ignores Edwin’s scoff. He may be a pessimist, but she knows these things. “If you want to have sex all day, you should absolutely do that.”

 

“Yes. Well.” Edwin gets out of the car and starts unloading things from the boot, pretending he’s not just avoiding her eyes. “Kindly stop discussing my sex life before we go inside. I’d like to maintain a modicum of professionalism, if you don’t mind.”

 

“I don’t think it’ll matter. It’s not like Crystal doesn’t know.”

 

“Yes, but we needn’t discuss the details in her place of work,” he replies stiffly. “And there’s going to be other people there. Underage people . ”

 

“What you actually mean is you don’t want to talk about it.”

 

His eyeroll and stoic silence tell her she’s right. 

 

“Fine, have it your way,” she says as she follows him towards the building. “I’ll ask Crystal.”

 

“Surely you have better things to discuss with your date than Charles and me.”

 

“We can multitask.” Niko really hopes they can, anyway. Her feelings for Crystal are already bigger than her body can hold, and she wants to know absolutely everything about her, from her relationship with Charles to where she grew up to what kind of shampoo she uses to get her hair to look like that. 

 

Is that creepy? Probably. She’ll rein it in a bit for their date. 

 

But only a bit. And only for their first date. 

 

She bounces a bit on her toes as they finish gathering their supplies, and Edwin smiles his nice, soft smile at her. 

 

“Excited?”

 

“Of course I’m excited, some of us didn’t spend ten hours with our crush yesterday.” She smiles as Edwin blushes again. He’s so easy to fluster. It’s so much fun. “I haven’t seen mine since last week.”

 

“You’ve been talking, though.”

 

Niko nods a bunch. “Basically every day. She’s really busy so she doesn’t respond as fast as I do, but when she does she tells me all these great stories from kids at the shelter, or—oh! Yesterday, Theo told her she watches TV wrong.”

 

“I didn't know that was possible.”

 

“Charles always draws or plays a game, so just sitting and watching is wrong, apparently. She’s tried to convince Charles to get tested for ADHD, but he said since he doesn’t have school or a job, he doesn’t feel the need to. Which I guess is fair. Then I told her about my current tally of parents I’ve had to convince to get their kids tested.”

 

“What’s the current score?”

 

“Twelve,” she grumbles. 

 

Edwin snorts, then puts on a falsetto. “Oh, but little Jimmy can sit and read for hours! He doesn’t even hear us call him to supper!”

 

“ Exactly .”

 

They share another smile, then Edwin says more seriously, “Well, it’s good that the two of you are getting along.”

 

“Yeah, but it’s so not the same thing as talking in person.”

 

“I know,” he says, holding the door open for her. 

 

The shelter is cool, just like Niko knew it would be. The lobby is big and open, with hallways leading off in all sorts of directions. The colouring is a bit tame for her liking, but she understands that not everyone loves neon pinks and oranges as much as she does; begrudgingly, she has to admit that the deep, calming greys and blues and purples are probably better for the people coming here for help.

 

The coolest thing by far, though, is a mural on the wall right across from the front door. There’s a horrible face done in thick strokes of black paint, something like snakes trying to escape his wide open mouth. Trying being the key word, because there’s a colourful hand over his face, shoving the snakes back inside. 

 

Underneath, in bold purple letters, it says Fuck Your Demons.  

 

“Hell yeah,” Niko whispers under her breath, then she turns to smile at the woman who’s come to greet them. 

 

Much to Niko’s disappointment, Crystal isn’t the one to show them around. Susan is really nice, but she’s not who Niko wants to see. 

 

“I’m sure she’ll check in later,” Edwin assures her before they separate to set up their respective rooms. “She’s likely busy, but she’ll certainly want to see you.”

 

Niko isn’t really worried, but Edwin’s words quiet something in her head and let her to focus on getting ready. They’ve given her a lounge, and Susan helps her hook up her laptop to the TV and move the chairs and couches into a semicircle. She’s looking forward to meeting the kids Crystal has helped almost as much as she’s looking forward to seeing the woman herself. Niko loves getting kids excited about books, whether by getting them into classic literature they’d usually overlook or introducing them to manga so they realise reading doesn’t have to be boring. 

 

And the kids are excited. Her group is mostly older and more outgoing, but there’s one or two sullen ones dragged in by a friend who she hopes will eventually warm up. Niko’s really good at welcoming atmospheres. 

 

First, they read and talk about the Romeo and Juliet balcony scene, and Niko tells the story about how her dad tried to sneak in her mom’s window before they were married, which always leads to one or two kids talking about a crazy stunt they’d pulled to try and get close to their crush, and suddenly the sixteenth century play doesn’t seem so inaccessible anymore. Shakespeare is at its best when it isn’t held up as the be-all, end-all of literature, but as a bunch of stories about people in love and being melodramatic and making ridiculous mistakes. Those are Niko’s favourite kind, no matter what century they were written.  

 

Then she turns on the movie clip, which is Niko’s favourite part. Even the reluctant kids love watching young Claire Danes and Leo DiCaprio flirting and falling into a pool. When the clip ends, everyone starts chattering about what they liked and why, or what they would do differently if they had that insane of a budget to work with. If Niko gets the chance to come back, she’d love to see Shakespeare adapted by these kids. 

 

Then someone mentions that Crystal was an extra in a movie once, and they completely move on from Shakespeare to giving Niko all the shelter gossip. Unsurprisingly, there’s a lot of drama in a shelter full of teens, and she’s having trouble keeping up. Apparently, there’s something like a love hexagon going on, along with all the dating and breakups and will-they-won’t-theys. 

 

Maybe they should do Twelfth Night next. 

 

“We’re seriously at the point of pulling aside anyone new that shows up who tries to flirt with Andre, just to warn them what they’re getting in the middle of,” Emily is explaining, when Crystal walks in.

 

She doesn’t interrupt, just leans against the doorjamb to watch. Niko waves, hoping Crystal will join them, but she just smiles, then leaves. Niko smiles after her.

 

Emily giggles. “Hey Niko, got anything to tell us?”

 

“She has the greenest aura I’ve ever seen,” she says, more to herself than to anyone else. It makes sense; Crystal is the definition of a caretaker. The kids titter, and she smiles again when she realises she said that out loud. “I can see why you all like her, she has a very empathetic presence.”

 

“She’s the best ,” says Andrew emphatically. “She gets to know everyone, no matter how busy she is, and she even teaches self defence classes when she has the time. Total badass.”

 

“She’s been through a lot,” offers Jessie. “She’s really open about it, she always lets us know that she really gets it, you know? She’s always around to talk to, or to just distract you with popcorn and a cheesy movie, if you’d rather.”

 

That makes a lot of sense. Crystal’s told her a bit about what she calls her demon ex, but she always seems more inclined to focus on good things, like the new Switch they’d got for the gaming lounge or Theo’s first ever A on a spelling test. 

 

Emily pulls her out of her thoughts by saying pointedly, “She’s never dated anyone, or even shown interest .” 

 

“Really?” Niko asks. Do people around here not have eyes? Are they weirded out by her relationship with Charles? She doesn’t get it. 

 

“What’s that got to do with anything, Em?” asks Andrew. 

 

Emily just rolls her eyes and leans towards Niko. “Spill.”

 

Niko can’t refuse. “We’re going on a date on Thursday.” Just saying the words makes her stomach fill with champagne bubbles. 

 

Emily squeals and claps her hands together. “You guys will be so cute together.”

 

“I’m glad you think so,” Niko says, grinning her cheek-hurty grin. (She should just call it her Crystal smile. Maybe she will.) “I know your opinion will mean a lot to her. It does to me, for sure.”

 

They’re interrupted by Susan knocking on the open door, telling them they only have ten minutes left. Everyone groans, and Niko gives herself a mental pat on the back for a job well done. 

 

“I’m super bummed too, guys, but hopefully we can do something else like this again soon. And the library isn’t far, so you guys can visit whenever you want. Oh! That reminds me.” She reaches into her backpack and pulls out a pile of forms. “Who wants a library card?”

 

By the time she has them all registered, it’s pretty much time to go, but she and Edwin dawdle long enough for everyone to look through the books they brought. The box she and Edwin bring back to the car is much lighter than the one they’d brought inside. 

 

By the time they’re all packed up, Niko hasn’t seen Crystal again, so she goes off in search of her office. 

 

Crystal is laser focused on the computer screen in front of her when Niko finds her, so Niko takes a moment to just look. She really is so pretty, with her curly hair falling all over her shoulders, her cool jacket, her warm brown eyes. 

 

She knocks lightly on the open door, and Crystal startles. “Oh, Niko, hey,” she says, pushing a hand through her hair and making it even messier. “Great work today.”

 

The praise, simple as it is, warms her insides. “Thanks! The kids had fun, and so did I. I’d love to come back. I think you have some fledgling actors and directors on your hands.”

 

Crystal smiles. “As if we need them any more dramatic than they already are.”

 

“Ooh, yeah. I heard all about Andre .”

 

“Don’t even get me started.”

 

Smiling her Crystal smile, Niko says, “You can tell me all about it on Thursday. I really can’t wait. Oh, that reminds me,” she says, digging into her backpack. “I saw this and thought of you. It’s called carnelian. It’s a kind of crystal—” she wiggles her eyebrows, and Crystal laughs softly— “and the colour reminded me of your hair. Plus, it means like, creativity and confidence, which is very you. Not that you have to believe that stuff, I just thought it was pretty.”

 

Crystal’s voice is breathy when she says, “Thank you, Niko.”

 

With a burst of confidence (maybe it’s the carnelian. Or maybe it’s just Crystal and her shining brown eyes. Niko could probably do anything if Crystal keeps looking at her like that), Niko kisses her on the cheek. “See you in fifty hours!” 

 

Then she backs out of the room, only turning around when Crystal is completely out of sight.

Chapter 8: Charles

The second Crystal comes home, Charles can tell something’s wrong. 

 

He’s helping Theo revise for a history exam (though, why the kid thinks revising with a man who dropped out of uni is a good idea, he’ll never understand). She storms in the room without so much as a hello, catching Charles’s eye over Theo's head. He wants to ask her what’s going on, but the look on her face makes it clear she doesn’t want to do this in front of their kid. 

 

Theo only looks up from his notes when she’s already out of the room, but he frowns after her. “Is mum okay?” 

 

“I’m sure she’s fine, but let me go talk to her first.” Dropping a quick kiss to Theo’s curls, he adds, “Do your revision, I’ll be back in a bit.”

 

“Do I have to?” he whines. 

 

“If you finish going through your notes before dinner, we can go to the park and play footie for a bit before it gets dark.”

 

Nothing like a bit of bribery to get the job done , Charles thinks as Theo buries his nose in his papers as though he could absorb the words through sheer force of will. If anyone could, it would be Theodore Rowland.

 

Charles stands with a wince—he’s pretty sore from yesterday, but he’s not going to think about that right now—and follows Crystal. 

 

She’s slumped on the edge of her bed, turning some kind of rock in her hands. It’s a shiny amber-brown, and it sparkles when it catches the light. 

 

“That’s beautiful,” he says softly, trying not to startle her. “Did one of the kids give it to you?”

 

“No, Niko did.”

 

Oh. Charles sits next to her, close enough to lean on if she needs to. She doesn’t, and he tries not to take that as a bad sign. “Wanna talk about it?”

 

“Charles, I don’t know if I can do this,” she breathes.

 

“You can just ask her to leave gifts for later, yeah?”

 

“No, I mean this whole thing .” She gestures widely, knuckles clenched white around the stone. “Dating Niko. Dating anyone. I’ve been fine with you and Theo, and I haven’t even wanted to, and I thought I would be okay because Niko is so sweet and caring, but then she gave me this and now I’m thinking I’m better off without it, you know?”

 

“No, Crys, I don’t,” he says gently. “If you never wanted to date again that would be fine, but you clearly do. Talk to Niko, I’m sure she’ll understand.”

 

“I have been, a little, but…” she trails off, looking lost.

 

“You said yourself, she’s sweet and caring. I know she is, I’ve seen her. Edwin adores her, and he’s known her for years. I know it can feel scary to open up to a new person, but you’re in good hands.”

“I know.”

 

“Then what are you afraid of?”

 

“What if…” she trails off. 

 

“Crystal, Niko isn’t David,” Charles says steadily, hoping that will be the end of it.

 

“But what if I am?” she barely whispers, voice breaking. 

 

Charles’s heart stops, and for a minute he can’t even speak. “What are you on about?”

 

“What if that’s just what I’m like when I’m in love?” She barrels on before Charles can even argue. “When she handed this to me, the first thing I thought was so shitty and mean, like what I used to say to—to him, when he’d bring me something, to get under his skin.” She clenches her hand into a fist around the stone. “What if it was never David?”

 

Charles slips to the floor, ignoring his aching knees, and catches Crystal’s eyes and hands with his own.

 

“Did you say it?”

 

“What?”

 

“You said you thought something mean. Did you say it?”

 

“Of course not, but—”

 

“But nothing , Crystal,” he insists, squeezing her hands. “That man was poison, and he poisoned you some, but that’s not who you are.” 

 

“How are you so sure?”

 

“Well, what kept you from saying it?”

 

Crystal sniffs, and all of a sudden Charles is thrown back ten years, to a scared, desperate girl trying to get a demon out of her head. To the terrified boy who would do anything for her, but doesn’t know if his anything is enough. 

 

“I just didn’t," she says with a shrug. "I knew it was a shitty thing to say, and I didn’t want to.”

 

“That,” he says, lightly tapping her forehead. “That’s how I’m sure. If a kid came to you crying, telling you they’d thought something horrible, what would you tell them?”

 

“Fuck your demons.”

 

“Exactly. It’s not different just because it’s you it’s happening to, yeah?” She lets out a watery chuckle. “That first voice in your head, that’s not you. The one that stopped you is.” 

 

“I wish I didn’t think it at all,” she says, and fuck, she sounds so small.

 

“I know Crys, but you were a kid. He made you think that’s what love is, and it’s not your fault that you trusted him. That you let him in your head. It makes sense that your brain would draw the connection, with that being your only experience in a relationship, but that’s not who you are . You’re Crystal, you’re caring and compassionate and funny and sarcastic and the strongest fucking person I know. Platonic love of my life, yeah? If you don’t trust yourself, trust me.”

 

“I do trust you, Charles.”

 

“Good. Because I’m pretty smart, most of the time.”

 

“Except when you don’t tell the guy you’re lusting after that you’re not romantically involved with your wife. ”

 

“Oi!” Charles protests, but inwardly he’s sighing with relief. She’s going to be okay. “You’re never going to let me live that down, will you?”

 

“Nope, never,” she says, voice stronger, wiping her face with one hand. The other is still clenched around the stone. “It’s honestly cute that you forgot that cheating exists and thought all you needed to do was flirt to let a man know you’re available. Like queer men haven't been cheating on their wives for centuries. This from the guy who said Brokeback Mountain was a formative movie for him.”

 

Charles laughs. “There she is. That’s my girl, who’s only mean to people who deserve it, or to people who know you’re joking.”

 

“Or both, if it’s you.”

 

Hauling himself off the ground and back to her side, he says, “Or both, if it’s me.”

 

She heaves a massive sigh; it’s a thing her therapist taught her ages ago, to help get rid of the last of the bad thoughts. “It’s just…it’s been so long since I’ve been anything like that person. It was scary to think I was—I don’t know, slipping or something.”

 

“But you’re not.”

 

“But I’m not.”

 

“If this gets to you, maybe book a session with Elle?”

 

“Yeah.” She groans in frustration. “It’s just such bullshit that I can think David is gone, but then I realise he’s just buried.”

 

“But he’s buried way deep down, isn’t he? And he barely bothers you anymore.”

 

“I just wish he didn’t bother me at all. ” She leans into Charles now, and he slings an arm around her shoulders. 

 

“Fuck your demon ex.”

 

The corner of Crystal’s mouth quirks. “Fuck my demon ex.”

 

It was a game they used to play, when they first got married, when Charles would notice Crystal wearing thin, bottling up too much anger instead of letting it out. Sometimes, you just need to scream. 

 

“I know you can be louder than that,” he goads.

 

“Fuck my demon ex!” Her voice echoes in her room, but his ears aren’t ringing yet. 

 

“C’mon, I want the neighbours to file a complaint.”

 

“FUCK MY DEMON EX!”

 

From the kitchen, they hear an answering “FUCK YOUR DEMON EX!” from Theo, and they both burst out laughing. 

 

“Thanks, baby!” Crystal calls. The pattering of bare feet announces his arrival before he throws open the door and throws himself on Crystal. 

 

“You okay, mum?”

 

She buries her face in his hair for a second just to breathe, and Charles wraps his arms around both of them. “Yeah, kiddo, I am now.”

Notes:

MUAHAHAHAHA you didn't think the boys would get ALL the angst, did you????? diversity win! the bisexual woman is also a bit of a dumbass/dealing with shit

but don't worry, it's just fluff from here on out. only two more chapters, gang....

Chapter 9: Crystal

TONGUE & TAIL BUTCHER SHOP AND DELI

 

Crystal faces down the sign, telling herself that a date with a gorgeous woman isn’t even close to the scariest thing she’s ever dealt with. 

 

Her demon ex. Childbirth. Donors. All much more intimidating than dinner with Niko. 

 

She still doesn’t open the door.  

 

The thing is, she’s actually excited about this. Niko is the kind of amazing she hasn’t seen in a long time, and Crystal is feeling a lot less shaky about it than she was a couple of days ago. 

 

But it’s never easy to dredge up her past, and she cares about Niko way too much to avoid it. So there’s going to be parts of this date that are going to suck. But it’ll be worth it. 

 

Hopefully. 

 

She sighs and lets her inner Charles give her one last pep talk before pushing open the door. The bell jingles, and Niko turns from where she’s leaning against the counter, talking to Jenny. 

 

It’s really not fair how stunning she is. She’s wearing a white dress, hair done up in a few loose braids, shiny red eyeshadow making her eyes sparkle more than they usually do. 

 

“Crystal!” she calls, smiling hugely and hurrying over to give her a hug, then grabbing her hand to lead her over to the counter. Crystal, a bit dazed by the sweet and flowery scent of her perfume, follows. 

 

“Crystal, this is Jenny. Jenny, Crystal.”

 

Jenny gives her a curt nod, barely looking up from her work with a truly terrifying looking knife. “What can I get you two?” she asks, voice disinterested. Crystal always assumed this kind of treatment meant Jenny sort of hated her, but Niko is still beaming, so this must just be how Jenny is. 

 

“Can I get a pastrami on rye? And a coke?”

 

Jenny’s eyes flick to Niko, who says, “Surprise me! And a Snapple.”

 

Jenny heads to the back to make their orders, and Crystal remarks, “Brave woman. Letting a potentially murderous butcher surprise you and drinking bottled tea in the UK.”

 

Niko giggles. “She’s really much nicer than she seems. You just can’t take her attitude personally.”

 

“Noted.”

 

Niko slips a straw into the bottle and takes a big sip, eyes intent. Crystal’s not sure she knows what to do with the attention. “So, how was your day today?”

 

Crystal’s face warms. “Niko, I texted you like two hours ago. You know how my day was.”

 

“Hearing it is different than reading it.”

 

“I guess,” she says, but she has to bite down a smile. Aside from Charles, she’s never met someone who cares so much before. “We’re gearing up for our summer fundraiser, which is the most fun I never wanted to have. It’s really important, but it means I have less hands-on time than I’d like. I think next year I’m going to try to shift that kind of thing over to Lilah, since she prefers paperwork to people most days, and she terrifies donors in a way that’s kind of awe-inspiring.”

 

“She sounds cool.”

 

“She’s four foot ten of Scottish terror, but if you can get Jenny to like you, I’m sure you could win her over.”

 

Jenny comes back with their food, and Crystal pointedly swipes the tray before Niko can, carrying it with a flourish to a table in the corner.

 

There’s probably cuter places to take your date than a deli with a misanthropic owner, especially since there’s not really an attractive way to eat a pastrami sandwich the size of your face. But Crystal isn’t, and has never been, especially cute, and it’s probably good that Niko knows that right off the bat. 

 

Somehow, though, Niko can eat a sandwich adorably, which is just not fair. Crystal suspects magic is involved. As she chews (cutely), Crystal takes a deep breath. 

 

“Okay, so there’s something I need to say before we do this. I know it’s not really, like, fun and flirty of me, but I care a lot about you, so you deserve to know some stuff.”

 

Niko smiles and nods encouragingly. 

 

“I haven’t dated, at all, since David. He—he messed me up in a lot of ways, and I’m genuinely past most of that, but dating is going to bring up some stuff that I haven’t had to work through, yet. Like, gifts—he used to give me them after we fought, or as a way to keep from fighting, to pretend what a great guy he was. I never realised until Tuesday, since Charles knows not to and Theo is, you know. Theo.”

 

Niko’s quiet for a minute, looking down at her plate as she takes it in. Then she raises her head and nods decisively. 

 

“I can stop it with the gifts, if you want?” To Crystal’s relief, she doesn’t look pitying, just understanding. 

 

Crystal’s heart swells, and her hand finds Niko’s on the table. “No. I really like you, and I want you to be you. Bringing me shiny rocks because they remind you of my hair is really, really sweet. I’m just… I’m learning how to deal with sweet. So if I ever freeze up, just be patient.”

 

“I can do that,” Niko says seriously. “We can go as slow as you need.”

 

“Thanks,” she says, then finally takes a bite of her sandwich. “Not too slow, though. I refuse to be out-lesbianed by Charles.”

 

Niko’s laugh sounds like a chorus of tinkling bells. (Crystal needs to get a hold of herself; she’s never been this corny in her entire life .)

 

“I wouldn’t mind. If Edwin is more of a u-haul lesbian than I am, I will hold it over his head forever. He’ll never get to say I’m more of a hopeless romantic than him ever again.”

 

Things are easy after that. The only snag comes when Niko is in the bathroom and Jenny plonks herself in the vacated chair. She’s brought the cleaver. Crystal forces herself not to scoot away.

 

“Look, kid—”

 

“I'm literally twenty nine.”

 

Jenny ignores her. “I’m only going to say this once. You seem nice, and I know you run the shelter a few blocks away. But Niko is special. So I’m going to tell you that the last person who tried something funny in this building is now dead. Make of that what you will.” 

 

Crystal has absolutely no idea if she’s joking or not, and she doesn’t get a chance to ask, because Jenny is picking up their plates and walking back behind the counter.

 

Crystal thinks she just got shovel talked. It would be almost funny if she weren’t a bit afraid for her life. 

 

And a bit afraid of hurting Niko, just like Jenny said. She never wants to be anything but warm and approachable (to nice people. Biphobic assholes can sit the fuck down), but maybe Jenny is right, maybe she is toxic, maybe she is bound to hurt Niko—

 

She feels her heart speeding up, and forces herself to take a deep breath. 

 

Fuck your demons, she hears Charles say in her head. 

 

“Fuck your demons,” she whispers under her breath.

 

“Hell yeah!” Niko says brightly as she sits back down. “I meant to ask, is that the actual name of the shelter?”

 

Crystal grins. “Yeah. It’s not official, because I got all sorts of eyebrow raises when I went to register it, so on paper it’s just FYD. Me and Charles joke that it stands for “Follow Your Dreams” if anyone asks.”

 

Niko giggles and takes another slurp of her drink, mouth puckered and shiny and distracting as it closes over the straw. Crystal bets her lip gloss tastes really good. 

 

“Where did the name come from?” Niko asks, pulling Crystal back to the conversation. She feels her cheeks flush, and hopes Niko doesn’t notice.

 

“Charles came up with this game, when we first moved in together, to like… let my feelings out,” Crystal explains. “I thought I had to be strong and put on a happy face for him and Theo. Like, I don’t know, Charles and my kid wouldn’t like me if I sometimes got mad. So when he noticed me bottling things up, he’d get me to yell ‘fuck my demon ex’ as loud as I could. It’s like the penis game, but more cathartic. Then when I couldn’t think of a name for the shelter, Charles suggested this, so as many people as possible could relate to it. Not everyone has a demon ex, but everyone has demons.”

 

“Did he paint the mural? You said he’s an artist, right?”

 

“Yeah. We brainstormed it forever, and he practised it a million times before committing, even though I told him we could afford to try again if he messed up.”

 

“Charles seems really great,” Niko says, eyes soft. 

 

Crystal’s heart expands again. Niko gets it, gets them . “He really is. It takes someone special to marry you platonically and raise a kid with you that’s not even theirs. I couldn’t have done any of this without him.”

 

“I think you could have,” Niko says simply. “I’m happy that you didn’t have to, obviously, but don’t sell yourself short. I don’t think I could have done what you did, especially not at nineteen. When bad things happened to me, I completely shut down.”

 

Crystal isn’t stupid enough to think someone can get to adulthood without anything bad happening to them, but the thought of bright, sunshiney Niko dimmed and depressed makes her heart lurch. “What happened?”

 

“You sure? It’s kind of heavy for a first date.”

 

“Niko, you’ve listened to me talk about my abusive ex before we even went on a first date.”

 

“I guess.”

 

“I want to know, I promise.”

 

“My dad died when I was in high school,” she says quietly, playing with the paper straw wrapper and not meeting Crystal’s eyes. “I wasn’t even there, because my parents sent me to boarding school in the states. I went back to school right after the funeral, but I couldn’t handle it. The sadness. The attention I was getting, even from people who were being nice. I ended up dropping out, and I didn’t talk to my mom, or anyone, for a really long time.”

 

Crystal silently threads their fingers together on the tabletop. Niko looks back up at her like she’s remembering Crystal is there, and smiles softly, turning her hand over to fit their palms together. 

 

“Jenny was the one who eventually helped me, actually. I moved out of the dorms and lived in a room above her shop. Neither of us was really talkative, but just being around her helped me come out of my shell. She followed me here when I came for university. She doesn’t say it, but I know it’s because she wanted to look after me.”

 

Crystal glances at Jenny, who is severely butchering something in the back, with new respect. 

 

“I’m glad you had someone to help you.”

 

“Me too. I was lucky she wanted to talk to me at all, otherwise I’d still be a weird shut in, probably.”

 

“If I can’t sell myself short, you can’t either. Something Charles and my therapist are always reminding me, is that even if you get help, you’re the one who’s doing the work of getting better. I don’t have a great relationship with my parents, and I still can’t imagine losing one of them. And you’re still so happy, and vibrant. My shitty experiences just made me angry.” 

 

“And caring, and compassionate. I heard how the kids talk about you. You can pretend to be a hater all you want, Crystal Palace, but I have your number,” Niko says smugly. 

 

Crystal leans across the table and presses a quick kiss to Niko’s lips. As she sits back down, she panics a little. “Was that okay? Sorry, I should have asked.”

 

Niko pulls her chair closer. “You’re really sweet, Crystal, but you don’t have to worry. I pretty much always want to kiss you.”

 

There are about forty thousand butterflies taking off in Crystal’s stomach as they both lean in again. Niko’s lip gloss does taste really good, like vanilla, and she makes the greatest noise when Crystal traces her lips with her tongue. Crystal wraps an arm around Niko’s neck to pull her closer—

 

Only to jump back at a loud bang of a knife hitting the counter across the room. Jenny looks annoyed. 

 

“I need to close up. Can you two go be disgustingly adorable somewhere else?”

 

Crystal is torn between hilarity and fear, but Niko bursts out laughing and grabs Crystal’s hand, pulling her out of her seat. 

 

“Thanks Jenny! Have a good night.”

 

“Not as good as yours, probably,” Jenny mutters under her breath, and Crystal snorts. She’s starting to see what Niko means about her. 

 

Outside, with the sounds of London nightlife all around them, Crystal realises how late it is. “Sorry to always be doing this, but I really need to go. I have an eight a.m., and if I try to speak to a rich asshole without at least seven hours of sleep, I will lose the ability to play nice.”

 

Niko squeezes her hand. “It’s okay. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to date a mom-slash-powerful-businesswoman.”

 

Crystal rolls her eyes. “Not sure about that.”

 

“We need to work on your ability to take compliments. Because I plan to give you a lot of them.”

 

Crystal kisses her again in an effort to maintain some dignity. And because she really, really wants to. 

 

“Good night, Niko.”

 

Niko beams, eyes shining under the streetlights. “Good night, Crystal.”

Notes:

woooooo the girls did a date too! sorry there was no smut in this one, it didn't quite make sense lol

Chapter 10: Epilogue: Edwin

Seventeen Months Later

 

Edwin has a niggling feeling at the back of his mind that they have somewhere to be, but in fairness it’s rather hard to think when his boyfriend is pinning him to their bedroom door and kissing the air out of his lungs. 

 

Charles is a welcome weight along his front, pressing them chest to chest and tongue to tongue. The same little feeling is telling Edwin he shouldn’t grind their hips together, but when Charles gently bites his lower lip and pushes his fingers more insistently into his hair, it gets harder to listen. 

 

“Charles! If you and Edwin don't get your asses down here now, we're leaving without you, and I’m going to tell all the moms that you guys are going through a rough patch and leave you to the vultures.”

 

Ah. Yes. That.

 

Charles pulls back reluctantly, but there’s a drugged smile on his face. “Hold that thought, yeah?” he murmurs. 

 

Edwin quirks an eyebrow. “For the entire afternoon?”

 

Charles presses one last kiss to his mouth, taking more time than they really have and making Edwin’s knees weak with it. “I have faith in you.” Then he walks out of their room, calling, “We’re coming, keep your shirt on.”

 

Edwin fixes his appearance quickly in the mirror before following. There’s nothing much he can do about his red mouth and flushed face, but at least he can leave the house without obvious sex hair. 

 

Once he’s marginally more put together, he makes his way downstairs, where Crystal, Niko, and Theo are all waiting.

 

“Hello, all,” he says, and Crystal rolls her eyes. 

 

“Don’t pull that unaffected shit with me, we all know what you were doing up there.”

 

Theo wrinkles his nose. “Ew, mum. Gross.” Then, turning to Edwin, he asks hopefully, “Can you give me a piggyback ride on the way there?”

 

Charles appears, jumper pulled over his head and duffel bag slung over his shoulder. “Kid, you’re getting a bit big for—”

 

His jaw snaps shut when Edwin deposits his son on his back. Theo is a bit heavy, but it’s nothing Edwin can’t handle while they walk a few blocks.

 

Besides, he will never tire of the look on Charles’s face whenever he realises how strong Edwin is. One would think he’d stop being surprised after so long, but there you are.

 

Crystal pulls open the front door and starts leading the way. “Okay, if we’re done with the homoerotic masculine posturing, let’s go. ”

 

Charles grins and follows her out. “I don’t think ‘homoerotic’ really applies when that’s my boyfriend, does it?”

 

“Well you’re a homo and that was clearly erotic, so—”

 

“ Mum! ”

 

Edwin falls back a ways so Crystal and Charles can continue bickering without scarring their son. To distract him, Edwin asks, “I’ve been meaning to get your opinion, Theo, what book do you think we should choose next for storytime?”

 

Theo had recently decided he was too old for storytime. It made sense—he’s almost eleven, and he really is reading much better on his own—but it does make Edwin’s heart ache not to have him and Charles in the group anymore. Of course he lives with them and sees them all the time, but he can’t help but feel that an important phase of their lives is over. 

 

“That’s the thing about kids,” Charles told him once. “They’re always growing up.”

 

“You want to do another ancient chapter book, yeah?” Theo asks, and Edwin chuckles. “What about The Wizard of Oz ? We’re learning about technicolor in cinema club, so you could watch the film when you’re done with the book, if you wanted, and talk about what’s different. And it’s a cool adventure like The Hobbit and not too confusing if someone misses a week—”

 

As Theo chatters in his ear, Edwin watches Charles and Crystal argue while Niko laughs. For just a moment, he closes his eyes and commits this moment to memory. Theo’s arms locked around his neck, Niko and Crystal’s clasped hands, Charles’s sparkling eyes. His heart, full to bursting, as he looks at his family. 

 

They arrive at the pitch far too soon, and Theo scrambles off his back and runs to his friends. 

 

Niko spreads out a colourful blanket for them, and after a quick kiss from Charles, Edwin sits. 

 

Despite Charles’s best efforts, Edwin still doesn’t fully understand all the rules of football, but he genuinely does enjoy watching. The children improve week to week in a way that’s positively astounding. The ones who still play at this age are generally the ones who are dedicated enough to continue in secondary school, driven to practising outside of scheduled time so they might make the team once they reach year seven. Charles’s eyes glow with pride whenever he talks about them. 

 

And Charles…well, Charles is also astounding to watch, if for different reasons. He might enjoy Edwin’s strength, but Edwin certainly can’t keep up effortlessly with a gaggle of nine-to-elevens multiple times a week, running back and forth on the sidelines and calling out encouragement, dribbling and sprinting and kicking and all manner of nonsense. His care and competence does something to Edwin’s insides that he doesn’t dare examine too closely in mixed company. It’s a good thing that the coaches and players sit on the opposite side of the pitch to the spectators, or Edwin might do something he regrets in front of a lot of people. 

 

Though jumping Charles in the middle of a match would likely make the mums stop flirting with him, which would be an improvement for Edwin’s mood, if nothing else. 

 

After a few minutes of running the team through warmup drills, Charles strips off his jumper, even though it’s October. The polo he has underneath is positively indecent, clinging to his chest and showing off his arms, which Edwin knows for a fact are stronger than they look. 

 

He’s pulled from his (impure) thoughts by a finger touching the corner of his mouth. “You’ve got some drool,” Crystal teases. 

 

He shoves her arm away with a grin he can’t help.

 

“It’s not my fault you’re somehow blind to how beautiful he is.”

 

“I’m not, I can just keep my eyeballs in my head when I look at him.”

 

“Need I remind you of the time you nearly fell in the Thames because Niko wore a crop top?”

 

Niko cackles. “I’m so glad I tried that. Not my style, but definitely worth it.”

 

Crystal pouts, but her eyes are fond as she leans her head into Niko’s shoulder. “I miss the sweet Niko who was never mean to me.”

 

“No you don’t,” Edwin says easily.

 

Crystal can’t seem to keep the smile off her face as she says, “No, I don’t.”

 

Once the match begins, they’re too preoccupied with cheering to keep up much conversation. Between the three of them, Crystal knows the most about the sport, so Edwin and Niko generally follow her lead (though not, necessarily, her deranged shouting at the referee whenever there’s a foul). Theo makes some truly impressive saves in his time as goalkeeper in the first half, which has them all yelling like mad; Charles looks out of his mind with it, jumping at least a foot in the air as he screams his lungs out. 

 

Once the match is over, they make their way to Tongue and Tail . It’s become something of a ritual that, win or lose, the five of them go out for dinner afterwards. They always make sure their schedules align for Sunday dinner so they can spend time together as a family.

 

It is one of Edwin’s favourite times of the week. 

 

They take up one of the bigger tables along the window, Charles and Theo dissecting every bit of the match, Crystal and Edwin alternating between eviscerating each other and others, Niko coaxing Jenny to stay and chat for a few minutes when she brings them their food. 

 

Edwin spent most of his life hiding. His parents, his schoolmates, his colleagues, all of them poked at his soft underbelly until he grew a carapace strong enough to keep himself safe and hidden beneath. At the library, he could poke his head out of his shell, but he’d gotten too used to its protection to remove it fully. It only ever came off with Niko or when he was alone. 

 

Then he met Charles, and suddenly he had more than just one person—he had four, and the force of their unconditional love coaxed him to leave behind his armour for good. 

 

This is belonging, pure and simple, and every day he feels more comfortable in his soft skin. 

 

He threads his fingers with Charles’s under the table and squeezes. 

 

Charles squeezes back with a soft smile and a kiss to the back of his hand, then catches Crystal's eye with a raised eyebrow. They do that infuriating “we've been together over a decade” telepathy of theirs. It makes Edwin jealous, although not for the reason one might think. He doesn't want them to stop, of course, but he too wants to be able to communicate with Charles without words. They're already so intertwined, but he doesn't quite know him inside and out. He can't wait until he does.

 

With a dramatic flourish, Crystal pulls a pile of papers out of her bag. “Charles Rowland, you've been served.”

 

“You've been watching too much Law and Order, mate,” he replies with a grin. 

 

“You said to say something cool! It's the only thing I could think of. For real, what's cool about signing divorce papers?”

 

Edwin’s breath catches in his throat. He glances at the papers over Charles’s shoulder as he signs them.

 

DIVORCE AGREEMENT stares back at him in large, no-nonsense letters.

 

His eyes trail to Niko, who looks just as surprised as he feels, mouth open in shocked delight. Edwin can always count on her to show emotion when he's incapable.

 

Then he looks at Theo, who's grinning like the cat that got the cream, looking so much like Charles it's hard to believe they're not biologically related. 

 

Crystal is smirking in the way that she reserves for Edwin, all butting heads and sniping barbs and bottomless understanding. 

 

Edwin's heart lodges in his throat. 

 

Finally, finally, he looks over at Charles, who's on one knee, holding a ring box. He's grinning, but his eyes are shiny. 

 

“Hey, Edwin. I've been divorced for fifteen seconds, but I already hate it. Will you—”

 

“Yes, yes, bloody hell, yes,” he says, dragging Charles up for a bruising kiss.

 

They keep it short, mindful of their audience, and Edwin can feel tears prick in his eyes as Charles slides the ring on. Then he pulls Charles into the tightest hug he can manage, and mumbles into his shoulder, “Yours is in my sock drawer.”

 

Charles laughs wetly. “You’ll give it to me when we get home, yeah?”

 

Edwin just holds him tighter. When he finally lets go, they’re hug-tackled by Theo, who was clearly holding himself back while they had their moment. 

 

“No kid has ever been more excited than me that his parents are splitting up,” he says, and that has Edwin tearing up all over again.

 

Niko squeezes the life out of him with a squeal that nearly shatters his eardrums.

 

Then Crystal hugs him, which is a bit of a shock in and of itself. He loves her dearly, but he rarely says so out loud, and they certainly don’t hug . 

 

“Is this your way of getting me alone for another shovel talk?” he murmurs into her shoulder.

 

He feels more than hears her chuckle. “No. I’m not worried about you two. You make him so happy, Edwin.” She pulls back, still grasping his arms, to look him in the eyes. “Thank you.”

 

He hugs her again. It’s far less embarrassing than bursting into full-blown hysterics. 

 

Even Jenny is almost smiling when she brings over a cake that says “Congrats on your divorce engagement.” She tries to slip away, but they force her to sit down and celebrate, too. As much as she rolls her eyes, she’s a part of their little band, too. 

 

When the cake has been thoroughly demolished, Crystal stands, gesturing for Theo and Niko. “Come on, we’re going to see a movie.” She catches Charles’s eyes and smirks. He grins back. “A long movie.”

 

“Still gross, mum,” Theo protests with a grimace, but he’s already putting on his coat. 

 

“Don’t blame me, your dad’s the gross one. Today ,” she adds, when he opens his mouth to argue. 

 

Niko’s grinning as she settles her pink bobble hat on her head. “We’ve got him tonight, guys—you have fun.”

 

“We will,” Charles says with a wink, and before Edwin has time to blush, he’s being dragged to his feet and out of the diner. 

 

Then they’re back against their bedroom door, snogging like teenagers, the only difference from this morning being they have nowhere to go and the house to themselves. And the new weight of the metal band on Edwin’s finger.

 

Much later, when they’re panting and sated, Edwin says, “I can't believe you asked me to marry you by telling me you hated being divorced.”

 

Charles grins and kisses him, thumb stroking along the ring on Edwin's hand. “Wanted to save the sappy stuff for when we were alone, didn't I?” Edwin is about to argue that sex is not especially sappy—though their brand of sex often is—when Charles pulls the ring off Edwin's finger, which is about the last thing he wants, and tells him, “Look.”

 

Engraved inside the silver band are the words, And here I have found what I sought not indeed, but finding I would possess for ever. 13.01.24. The day they met. 

 

Edwin starts crying again. 

 

“I’d never have read The Silmarillion without you, so it seemed fitting.” Edwin remembers the nights where they stayed up far too late, snuggled together as Edwin read aloud. It took them months to finish, both because of the density of the material and because—well. 

 

“It’s ludicrous that you think you’re Beren in this relationship,” he manages around the lump in his throat as Charles gently, so gently, slides his ring back on.

 

“Oi, we are not having this argument again. Shut your smart mouth and let me give you my cheesy speech.”

 

“By all means.”

 

Charles lowers his forehead to their clasped hands for a second, taking a deep breath. When he looks back up, the laughter is gone, replaced by the softest eyes Edwin has ever seen.

 

His heart stutters in his chest.

 

“I never bloody saw you coming, Edwin Payne. I didn't expect to be completely blindsided by this bowtie-wearing librarian who was charming and funny and nice to my kid and the single most stunning person I’d ever seen in my life. But once I had seen you, I knew there was no way I was ever letting you go. And it kind of scared the shit out of me. I never thought I’d love anyone as much as I love Crystal and Theo. And I sort of figured I’d never find someone who was totally okay with that.”

 

“Charles…”

 

“But you were, which was what made me love you just as much as I love them. And once I was in it, loving you has never been scary. Christ, I voluntarily told you about my dad on our second date, when it had taken months for Crystal to get the whole story out of me. I think I knew, all the way back then, we’d end up here. Because you saw all of me, even the parts I didn’t especially like, and you weren’t afraid of them.”

 

“I love them, darling," Edwin whispers. "I love all of you.”

 

“I know. And I’m so bloody lucky you do. And I love everything about you too, from your gorgeous brain to your gorgeous bum.”

 

Edwin barks out a laugh, watery as it is. “I thought you were being sappy.”

 

“Hey, I can be sappy about your bum. I’ll wax rhapsodic about your bum if you want me to, sweetheart.”

 

Edwin can think of no other way to ensure he doesn’t other than to kiss him. They’re well on their way to round two when he remembers his own plans. “Wait,” he mumbles into Charles’s mouth. “I haven’t given you yours.” He forces himself away and stands to rummage through his dresser.

 

“Ooh, is it my turn now?” Charles asks excitedly, bouncing like a child on Christmas morning. 

 

Box in hand, Edwin sits back down to face Charles. “I didn’t intend to do this naked in our bed, but you do have a way of scuppering my plans.”

 

His boyfriend—his fiancé is looking at him with those soft, shining eyes again, and every coherent thought promptly leaves his head. 

 

“Charles, I—Christ, I have so much I could say to you, about how I never in a million years thought I’d find someone like you, who makes me feel safe and happy to just be me, who listens to me when I ramble and takes care of me and is the sexiest thing on this Earth.” He laughs at himself. “I thought of something much nicer, wrote it down even, several times. But looking at you, knowing you’re mine forever, I… I seem to have forgotten it.” 

 

“Come here, you daft sod,” Charles says, pulling him into a hug. “I don’t need fancy speeches.”

 

“Perhaps if I loved you less, I could talk about it more.”

 

“Oi, don’t try to one up me with romantic quotes.”

 

“I wouldn’t dare.”

 

Charles releases him, then jabs his hand into Edwin’s chest. “Gimme.”

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t think to get anything engraved on it,” Edwin says, pushing the ring onto Charles’s finger. The gold band and honey-coloured gem encircling it look gorgeous against his skin, just like Edwin knew it would. “I just wanted to get you something you’d like. If you’re going to be wearing it forever, you may as well like how it looks, and I know citrine is your favourite because it’s Theo and Crystal’s birthstone.”

 

“Edwin,” Charles says, voice breaking. “I love it. I love you, so bloody much.”

 

“I love you too. ‘Til death do us part.”

 

Charles grins. “Not even then, if I have anything to say about it.”

 

Then Charles kisses him, smiling too hard to do a proper job, and pushes him down on the bed before straddling him. His curls are a mess and his eyes twinkle like stars, his whole face eager and so, so joyful, and Edwin feels a pressure to his chest that has nothing with his fiancé’s hand deliberately journeying down. And then Charles has the audacity to laugh, and Edwin thinks this might very well be the thing that kills him. 

 

But what a way to go.

Notes:

(this is the vibe for charles's ring, in case you're wondering: https://upstateresinworks.com/cdn/shop/products/il_fullxfull.3727864203_my5x.jpg?v=1662063345)

aaaaaaaaand that's a wrap!!!!!!! thank you SO MUCH to everyone who's read and commented and kudosed, it means the world to me. now that this is done, maybe i'll be able to work on other fics...

*glances at the list of, i kid you not, TWELVE ideas for oneshots in this universe*

hm. maybe not.

I can't promise anything soon, because I've had the itch to work on something canon-verse, but there WILL be more in this AU, so stay tuned. and feel free to suggest prompts if you have them, for this universe or otherwise, to me on tumblr (also lolotr).

a thousand million thanks as well to shadowquill, without whom this fic (and all my fics) would be considerably worse. and without whom i would be considerably more sad. im running out of ways to tell you to go read their shit. you will not regret it.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 7 of pure of heart, dumb of ass, dead of boy (dead boy detectives fic)
• Part 1 of DBD Librarian AU