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“You just got lucky, I’m gonna beat you next time.” It’s a calm summer night. The unrelenting mugginess of the day finally gave way to night’s coolness. Zoro is lying there, gazing up at the endless sky of stars before him. He and Kuina are stargazing after a long day of training, and another match he had lost to her. The sting of the defeat still stings but slowly starts to fade away.
“What is that now? Loss number 1723?” says Kuina with a slight laugh.
“Hmpf, who cares? Who’s keeping count?”
He was, and she was right of course.
They continue to sit in a calm silence with only the sound of the chirping cicadas. Zoro tries to see if he can recognize any constellations he’s heard about, but all he sees are a bunch of dots. How anyone can see any shapes in them must be lying to themselves, he thinks. While thinking about how star shapes are a bunch of nonsense, he hears his friend clear her throat.
“Hey, can… can I ask you something?” Kuina asks almost timidly. Zoro is about to respond, but she doesn’t wait. She charges ahead into her question as if she would lose her nerve waiting for his response. “Do you like… girls?” The question hits Zoro almost like one of her powerful sword strikes. He felt the wind knocked out of him, and nothing had even touched him. This was not what he expected her to ask, far from it.
“Hah!?” He practically sputters. “Why are you even asking that?” He is grateful that it’s dark out because he felt his face burning from embarrassment. With the combination of his green hair, he must look just like a tomato. The night had been pleasantly cool, but now all he could feel was an oppressive heat that he could not escape.
After what seems like an eternity to Zoro, Kuina finally responds “I’ve noticed that whenever I fight or practice, all the other boys are staring at me. Not you, though. You don’t look at me like the others do.”
The thought had never even crossed his mind. Why would he stare at her? He never saw her as any other thing than his rival, and why would he have a crush on his rival? The only way he’d ever use that word and Kuina in a sentence was if he was talking about him crushing her in one of their fights one day.
A million thoughts raced through Zoro’s mind, but he couldn’t put any of them into words. The loud humming of the cicadas is a reminder of his silence and inability to answer the question. He has to say something, anything to salvage his pride, what little remained. “That’s just stupid, I just looking to see where your weak points are so that I’ll beat you. Why would I waste my time staring at…”
“No, no,” she cuts him off, shutting down his deflection. “Because I’ve seen you look at other boys, sorta like how they look at me. Especially the older ones”. Zoro cannot believe what he’s hearing. Of course he watched the guys, why wouldn’t he? He enjoyed watching their intense fights, seeing the powerful swing of each strike, imagining what they would feel like wrapped around him…
His thoughts stop there, the blood in his veins freezing. Now the intense burning of embarrassment had turned to an icy chill. Zoro has no idea what to do. This was something that no amount of training could ever prepare him for. What could he even say?
He was already not an articulate person at the best of times. Now, his limited vocabulary had completely left him. Nothing was coming to him, and his silence was speaking volumes. He was stuck in a loop with no escape. Eventually, his salvation rescues him from a hell of his own making.
“It’s not a problem if you don’t like girls!” Kuina almost stammers out. “I mean, it makes sense. If boys can like girls, why can’t boys also like boys, or girls also like girls?” Zoro can feel his blood begin to thaw. His heart was still slamming itself against his chest, but it was starting to slow down. Not much, but it was an improvement.
Zoro starts to reflect on everything she has said. He just never understood the appeal of girls. He sees how the other boys seemed to lose their minds when the topic of girls came up, and it’s just something he doesn’t connect with. He sometimes wonders if they were all just exaggerating their interest, like they all decided to play some weird joke on him for some inexplicable reason.
Personally to him, girls seem to be more of a nuisance than anything else. He doesn’t want to deal with their prissy bullshit. Kuina is different because she is the sensei’s daughter and can hold her own in a fight, but he just can’t see himself liking her like that . And he has to admit, there was just something about boys that seemed to capture his attention more. He can’t explain it, it wasn’t anything in particular.
Even without looking, he could feel Kuina’s eyes on him waiting for a response. There is no getting out of this without giving a satisfactory answer, is there? Is this really the time, or thing, to be vulnerable about to her? Kuina had been the source of so much humiliation for him already. Why should he give her any more ammo she could embarrass him with?
They also were never really this open with each other. They could consider themselves friends, yes, but they had never been close. And yet, Zoro knows he can’t lie to her. Even though Kuina is his rival, he respects her far too much to even think about lying. That would just make him a coward, and how could he be a master swordsman if he was a coward? A quiet voice that didn’t seem like his own sputters out his final answer. “N… no. I don’t think I like girls.”
Zoro feels something touch him after a second. Kuina had placed her hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed it. “Hey, thanks for trusting me and telling me.” She laughs a bit and continues. “Oh, don’t worry by the way. I won’t tell anyone. This is just between us.” An odd sense of relief runs over Zoro. He honestly could not have asked for a better outcome, even though she was responsible for putting him in this position in the first place.
Zoro had heard the older boys' comments about boys who didn’t like girls. He didn’t understand everything they said, but he could understand the disgust in their voices. They weren’t directed towards him, but he still felt like that disgust was directed at him. And he kind of expected a similar response from Kuina. But no, she showed him understanding and didn’t make him feel like a monster or a freak. She made him feel… normal.
Even though the conversation had only lasted a few minutes, Zoro could tell that there was a new connection between the two of them. They already shared a bond as rivals, but this was a different one. Kuina had seen something of him that nobody else had and accepted him.
She could’ve taken complete advantage of this knowledge, but she promised that she wouldn’t use it to hurt him. Kuina is someone he can fully trust, someone he can maybe be vulnerable with. The two youths continue to gaze up at the stars, enjoying the quiet of the night and reflecting on what they learned about each other.
And then Kuina fucking died. She had literally taken his secret to the grave. When he learns that Kuina has broken her neck after tripping down some stairs, he can’t believe it. How could someone capable like her die in such a mundane way? During the funeral procession, he could hear whispered comments about him, about how tragic it was that he lost a friend and a dueling partner. But what they didn’t know was that he had lost someone who knew him like no one else.
Of course, he wouldn’t tell them. He is sure that if they knew the real him, they’d hate him or treat him like an outcast. There was only one person who understood him, and now she was dead.
Still, life has to go on. He has to carry on Kuina’s dream of being the world’s greatest swordsman. Now it’s for both of them. After the burial, he takes up a new ritual of visiting her grave in the cemetery. He makes sure to keep her up to date on the village’s going on and other major events.
In all honesty, Zoro didn't know if anyone was there listening, but it was nice to think that she might be there. Sometimes he just needed to talk to someone who he knew wouldn’t judge him, or sass him when he was being especially hard-headed. He finds solace in the peacefulness of the cemetery, helping quell the anxieties he feels raging inside of him.
This goes on for years as Zoro grows into a young man. However, this all had to come to an end. He is going to leave soon to begin his journey to find and beat Dracule Mihawk, the current greatest swordsman in the world. Zoro doesn’t know when, or if, he will be back and there is something he has to tell her while he still has the chance. It is tempting to just avoid it altogether and leave without saying anything, but he knew he couldn’t do that.
Scars on the back are a swordsman’s greatest shame. If he just left, it would be the same thing and leave a mental scar. He would always remember how cowardly he ran away. He wouldn’t start such an undertaking by being a coward. Nevertheless, he still feels the hesitation. He just can’t handle feeling exposed like this again, being that open with both himself and another person, even if one of them wasn't physically there.
At least the day was beautiful. It would make his potential last visit as nice as could be, all things considered. It was the middle of the spring season and the flora were in full bloom, the air heavily perfumed with their aromas.
The cherry blossom trees had exploded into soft pink clouds and their petals danced lithely in the air. On the way to the cemetery, Zoro stops to pick flowers to leave at Kuina’s grave. He has no clue what type of flowers they were, he just knows they looked pretty. He just hopes she likes them.
At the entrance to the cemetery, Zoro grabs a small bucket and fills it with water from a nearby water spout. He slowly treads through the cemetery, letting his feet guide him. Despite his tendency to get lost, he has made the same journey so many times before that he could navigate it with his eyes closed. He didn’t look up until he was in front of the headstone marking the Shimotsuki family’s allotment.
Zoro then gets to work, doing what he always does on these visits. It had become second nature to him. First, he picked the weeds that were growing around the tall gray stone and brushed off the pink cherry blossom petals that had accumulated.
Next, he lights some incense he had brought with him and places it in front of the headstone. The snaking smoke trail fills his nose with a heady, spicy scent, one scent that he can’t help but associate with death. The flowers are set beside the incense, adding a touch of color to the overwhelmingly muted environment. He then takes the small bucket and spoons water onto the stone to purify it.
Finally, he presses his hands together in prayer. Even if he believes in no gods, he still wants to show respect to his friend. With the ritual finished, Zoro is ready to bare his soul to Kuina’s own.
He takes a deep breath and begins to talk. “Hey, it’s me again,” he starts in a quiet voice. He can’t help but wonder how insane he must look to anyone walking by, just standing there and quietly talking to himself.
This was something between the two of them, who cares what other people think of him. After a brief pause, he continues. “Hope the afterlife is treating you well. You better not be slacking off on your training, I’m also training like hell. And if I ever die, I’ll finally beat you when we meet in the afterlife!” Zoro can’t help but softly chuckle, he can imagine Kuina laughing along with him at his bravado.
Once he got over the initial awkwardness, talking came easy to him. Somedays he couldn’t stop himself from just going on and on. “I even brought Wado with me.” He gently pats the white katana on his hip, nestled among two other swords.
“I promise to take good care of her, she’s gonna come with me all the way to the top.” The smile soon falls from his face, as he decides to cut to the chase and finally confront what he had come here for.
Taking a deep breath, he starts “That sorta is the reason why I’m here. I’m going to be leaving soon, and I don’t know if I’ll get another chance to tell you something.” He can feel his pulse start to increase, the steady tempo quickly picking up the pace.
Why is he hesitating? He can’t be scared of anything, not if he’s going to achieve his dream. No, their dream. With a new sense of resolve, Zoro centers himself and continues to speak.
“Do you remember that one night? When you asked me something important? I wanna talk about that.” His pulse is now racing. He balls up his fists, desperate to keep himself grounded. “I said I didn’t know, but now… I think I know.”
The blood is pounding in his ears, drowning out the surrounding birdsong and insect humming. “Kuina, I’m… I’m gay.” Suddenly everything seems to go quiet. A silence seemed to have fallen on the cemetery as if the spirits of every person interred there were waiting for him to continue speaking.
Zoro just sits there for a minute, almost as if waiting for a response from the dead girl. “I haven’t said those words before, not to anyone else. Not even to myself,” he whispers softly. “And I wanted to tell you. You’re the only person I could tell that too. Maybe the only one I’ll ever tell…”
He can feel something in his chest start to tighten and a lump forming in his throat. Tears were starting to well up in his eyes. It was something the swordsman wasn’t used to. “But I needed to tell someone, just to get it off my chest.”
Zoro takes in a few quivering breaths in a futile attempt to get his body to cooperate with him. “Dammit…” he quietly curses to himself. “I wish I could tell this to your face, but this will have to do.” Despite the worry from such a personal confession, he also feels a wave of relief. There also seemed to be a sense of… acceptance. He isn’t sure, it isn’t something he can really explain. But he can feel it. Regardless, this was something that would stay just between the two of them. He isn’t ready for the rest of the world to know.
Zoro stands up after a few minutes of silence and dusts off his black pants. He lays his hand against the smooth, warm stone for perhaps the last time.
“Alright, I think I should go now. I promise to come by the next time I visit Shimotsuki and tell you all about what it’s like being the world’s greatest swordsman. Shouldn't take too long,” Zoro said with a small smile.
“But I mean it, thank you.” A small gust of wind blows by him, rustling his three dangling earrings. “Yeah yeah, if I meet someone I’ll bring him to meet you too,” he says chuckling softly.
After cleaning up the ashy remains of the incense, he takes one last look at the headstone and then makes his way out of the cemetery. Even though it might not look like much, Zoro feels like he has taken the first step to achieving his dreams. If he was able to do this , defeating Mihawk would be simple in comparison and he’d have that title in no time.
People would probably laugh if they knew that the infamous Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro had one true fear. Not dying, not losing limbs, not excruciating pain. No, it was a simple question: “Can I ask you something?”
And even then, it wasn’t the question itself that was so bad, it was the aftermath. The judgment that follows, the hushed whispers and stares behind his back. Zoro would swear he wasn’t ashamed, he just didn’t think it was important to share with others. And yet, he can’t help but feel that he was hiding himself.
Out of fear of vulnerability, of being rejected. Plus, he doesn’t want people to think he is weak just because he happens to prefer men. After all, he sorta has a reputation to uphold, and it makes bounty hunting way more difficult if the targets weren’t scared of him.
Normally, ignoring this part of himself hasn’t been a problem. With the daily regimen of intense training, alcohol, and being on the move for the next bounty, he hardly has time for stupid things like emotions. It helps keep his mind preoccupied and his heart protected. But still, he is also human, despite the title of ‘demon’ he has earned, and can’t escape a sense of wanting more than just a hookup with a nameless stranger sometimes. He craves a deeper connection, but he doesn’t think he can with the kind of lifestyle he leads.
Luckily, his lifestyle is also well-suited to handle this. Sometimes while out drinking at night, he’ll catch another man eyeing him. At first, he guesses it’s someone debating if it really was Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro in front of them. If the staring continued, he’d get annoyed and assume they were looking for a fight. Deftly he’d move his hand to the hilt of his swords, unsheathing it slightly with a stroke of his thumb. A warning of “fuck around and find out” to the potential adversary.
This usually is enough to deter anyone who wants to challenge him. They immediately look away out of fear, running away with their tails between their legs. The sight always amuses Zoro, it was satisfying to be able to reduce full-grown men to quivering cowards.
But if the stranger is interested in something else, an intricate ritual begins. It’s almost like a practiced dance, the men doing slight head nods and raising eyebrows to gauge the other’s interest. It usually finishes with one of them gesturing their heads toward an exit in an unspoken agreement to leave together.
From there they usually find a dark alley or someplace private, where they can continue their brief encounter. Sometimes the stranger says nothing and they’d immediately proceed with aggressive kissing and clumsy fondling. Other times they say the most cringeworthy lines, usually something about having Zoro show them his “double sword style” skills.
But most often, they say something along the lines of “I never do this.” Zoro knows this was always a lie because he had often said the same thing himself. And he has no problems threatening to filet the stranger with all three katanas if he feels that they would have loose lips about their tryst. That is usually enough to ensure that no word gets out. But even then, he is never in one place for too long so if word got out, he could slip away to someplace new. This was Zoro’s life, not fulfilling but it was what it was.
However, he wasn't really able to continue this after joining the Strawhats. They are constantly on the move, so it would be understandable to think he could keep having these clandestine meetings. But now it was different. He has people who depend on him, and even if he doesn’t always say it, he depends on them too.
It’s his job to protect the crew, he can’t risk doing anything that would put them in danger. This bond he has with his crewmates gives him a profound sense of belonging. Now he has a greater sense of purpose in life, something deeper to motivate him beyond just swords and booze.
When he first joined, Zoro really did not think he’d develop feelings for anyone on the ship. Well, at the time of his joining (more like forced recruitment), the only other member was his captain Luffy.
Luffy seems only interested in three things: dreams, adventure, and meat. Over time, their small crew grows larger and honestly more bizarre, ranging from a talking reindeer who is their resident doctor to a musical skeleton over 8 feet tall. They are all insane in their own way and on paper, they shouldn’t even be able to function as a crew. And yet, they had proven just how compatible they were and had become a force to be reckoned with.
So it comes as an immense shock when he realizes that he has developed feelings for Sanji, the ship’s cook. It shouldn’t have even happened! The man is stupidly straight, constantly proclaiming his love for any creature with two legs and tits. Hell, she didn’t even have to have legs. He seems to especially like mermaids.
Plus, the two are constantly at each other’s throats and getting into squabbles about the pettiest of things. No way in hell that the swordsman would want to go from slicing the cook’s face to immediately kissing it the next second, right?
But honestly, it's more of a defense mechanism than anything. He doesn’t want anyone to find out he is interested in the cook, so it is easier to make it look like he hates him. Also, Zoro thinks if he does this enough, he’ll eventually lose interest. Unfortunately, it hasn’t worked yet.
However, Zoro soon comes to respect the cook as a fighter who could stand his ground in a battle. In fact, Sanji is one of the few people who could keep up with Zoro in a fight, and that was just with kicking. Zoro never imagined someone fighting with his legs would be such a formidable opponent against his blades. It is a strange style, but he had experienced firsthand that it was nothing to be trifled with.
The first time Zoro feels something more than mild indifference towards him is during one of the crew’s dinners. As always, the cook managed to prepare a spread that tasted just as delicious as it looked. Of course, Zoro won’t let the cook know just how much he enjoys his cooking. That would only add to the man’s already rather inflated ego. In between slapping away their captain’s rubbery hand from his food and taking swigs of beer, Zoro looks over at what Sanji is up to and something catches his attention. The cook is flirting (and failing as always) with Nami, and Zoro can’t help but wish that the cook was flirting with him .
This thought had come out of nowhere, horrifying Zoro. He feels his stomach plunge to the galley’s floor. Why the fuck did he think that? He had never wanted to be the subject of the cook’s flirtations before, so why now? Maybe it was just a passing thought, nothing more to it. Zoro continued to stare intensely at the blonde, determined to figure out the root of the problem so that he could nip it in the bud before it flowered into a real problem.
Sanji is in the middle of laughing. At what, Zoro doesn’t know, but there is just something captivating about it. He has a great big grin on his face, the corners of his visible eye crinkling beneath his distinctly swirled eyebrow. The laugh itself is one of pure joy, and that joy is downright infectious. The sonorous chuckles ring through the swordsman’s ears. He has never noticed how pleasant it is to hear. And maybe it is just the alcohol speaking, but there is something almost radiant about the blonde, seeing him so at ease.
Where were all of these feelings coming from? Zoro respects the intensity Sanji carries, both in fights and in his cooking. It almost matches the dedication Zoro has toward his own training and goals. The cook’s devotion to those he cares about is also admirable, despite how much he tries to deny said devotion. And yeah, the dude was hot. He may be missing an eye, but he isn’t blind. The cook has a chiseled physique with a tapered waist, soft blonde hair swooping over one of his dark blue eyes, and often dresses in extremely flattering suits.
“What are you looking at, Mosshead?” Sanji asks accusingly from the end of the table. This shakes Zoro out of his stupor; he had been staring too long. He can only imagine how bizarre he must’ve looked to the others if they had taken notice. Hopefully, his face isn’t too red out of embarrassment from being caught.
“Nothing, Curly. Just enjoying watching you embarrass yourself again at impressing the witch.” Good, good; deflect so no one will suspect a thing, Zoro thinks.
“You watch your fucking mouth, you lumbering clump of algae!” Sanji roars, leaping out of his seat. Another night, another fight. Nothing new aboard the Thousand Sunny.
What started as a shouting match in the galley quickly escalated into a full-out brawl out on the ship’s deck. Zoro doesn’t mean for it to go that far, but it serves its purpose as a guise for his new realizations. He doesn’t even pay attention to the scolding he got from Chopper while the little reindeer tends to his injuries. It was worth it, even if it got him a few kicks to the head. Hell, maybe one of those kicks would knock out these new and strange feelings.
Sadly, no such luck for the swordsman. The thoughts do not go away, and they seem to get worse with each passing day. No matter what, he just can not get them to stop. It has gone from a simple crush to full-blown pining.
He is constantly thinking about the cook, and becoming a distraction. While training, sometimes the thoughts would creep in and throw his rhythm off for the rest of the session. If he is taking a nap on the ship’s deck and hears the cook coming around with snacks for the crew, he either immediately flees so that he wouldn’t say something incriminating or purposely says something to piss Sanji off and start a fight.
Sometimes Zoro indulges himself and observes Sanji in the ship's day-to-day activities. The cook climbing the rigging to adjust the sails gives Zoro a chance to admire the elegance of the cook’s movements and his flexibility. In the kitchen, he carries himself with such confidence, preparing the most exquisite meals Zoro has ever tasted. The deft movements of the cook’s hands make Zoro’s imagination run wild with thoughts about what other things those hands could do. And whenever Marines attack, that is where Sanji really shines in Zoro’s eye. With explosive, fiery kicks the cook would demolish legions of unwitting Marines. The swordsman swears he would’ve taken the cook to bed right then and there if he could have.
All the staring and obsessing leads to the cook staring in Zoro’s dreams, to his absolute horror. One in particular seems to recur frequently. The dream begins with Zoro climbing up to the crow's nest to start his night watch duty. When he reaches the top, he opens the hatch and sees that it’s not empty. The room is dimly lit by a few candles, and someone is sitting on the bench. Zoro can’t make out who it is at first, but as he slowly approaches the figure he can recognize a distinct swirling eyebrow.
“Well hello there, was hoping you’d be here soon,” the cook practically purrs. “Thought you’d like some company during your watch. I even brought some of your faves,” Sanji says as he lazily waves a hand towards the sideboard. There’s a plate of fresh onigiri, grilled sea king, and a bottle of sake. Zoro walks over and picks up the bottle. It’s actually the good stuff too, not the bottom-shelf alcohol he usually snuck from the kitchen.
Zoro is dumbstruck, where did all of this come from? Sanji slowly saunters over to him and places his arms around Zoro’s shoulders. He had been distracted by the treat the cook had prepared and hadn’t even noticed that Sanji was wearing just a silk robe. Where did that even come from?
Zoro swears he has never seen that robe before, but he can’t help but admit that it accentuates the shape of the cook’s body. He can see the cook’s collarbones softly illuminated in the candlelight, the belt tightly wrapped around his waist and tempting Zoro to just pull on it.
Sanji leans in and whispers into Zoro’s ear, “Of course, if you’re not hungry, we can do something else…” he immediately feels Sanji’s lips pressing against his, and he can’t help but kiss back enthusiastically. He can feel his body start to heat, and the tips of his ears catch on fire. He then places one hand on the small of Sanji’s back. His hand slowly moves downward to the firm cheek of Sanji’s ass and then gently squeezes, the other hand trailing over to that tempting belt. Zoro lightly tugs, and Sanji lets the open robe fall to the floor. Zoro can’t help but take in a sharp inhale at the blonde’s beauty and pulls him in, and then...
Zoro always jolts awake, drenched in sweat, his pants uncomfortably tight . No matter how many times he has this dream, it always plays out the same way and he wakes up after this. He truly is in hell. Who did he piss off to deserve this? Maybe this was karma or something, he killed someone who he shouldn’t have and now he’s paying for it.
Zoro eventually concludes that if he wanted to be freed from this torment, he would need to face his fears and tell Sanji how he truly felt. But he still couldn’t bring himself to even try. There was no hope that the feelings would be reciprocated. Besides, it would run the risk of destroying the crew’s dynamic with an ill-received love confession, especially with Sanji. Zoro can’t imagine facing the object of his spurned affections daily and remembering the rejection each time. And that’s not even considering how the cook would feel. Would he be creeped out to know that Zoro thought about him in that kind of way?
No, Zoro can’t ruin the already tenuous relationship he has with Sanji. It would be easier to just bury those feelings, and drown them in booze and the almost daily fights so that he doesn’t have a chance to think about them. No one would ever suspect a thing, he thought. No way Roronoa Zoro would be interested in the cook, they simply hated each other too much.
All he needs to do is keep this charade up until they find the One Piece and Luffy becomes the King of Pirates. That can’t take too much longer, right?
It’s been another raucous night on the Thousand Sunny , like most nights on the ship. The idea of a quiet night was a foreign concept to the Strawhats, especially when their captain didn’t seem to understand the concept of sitting still or being quiet.
Sanji has prepared an extravagant supper, with plenty of meat in an attempt to satiate the bottomless pit that is Luffy’s appetite. Despite the volume of food, everyone still has to keep an eye on their plates to make sure a rubber arm doesn’t snake over and steal their portions. This becomes almost second nature to anyone spending enough time with Luffy.
The alcohol is also flowing freely, much to Zoro’s delight. He much prefers this over trying to steal liquor while the cook’s back is turned and risking a swift kick to the face. Over the course of the meal, the conversations go from relatively calm to loud with laughter and the occasional shout of “Hands off!” peppered in. Then their resident skeleton musician Brook brings out his violin and begins a jaunty fiddle song.
Despite the cacophony of noises, these are the times that Zoro enjoyed the most with his crew mates. They had been through so much together, and these times of respite were what kept them sane. The two years of being away from each other made Zoro realize he did not fully appreciate his crew until they were taken away. So when they were reunited, he vowed to value the time they spent together. And honestly, sometimes the lack of quietness was appreciated. It kept him distracted from thinking too much. As the night progressed, the ship's din started to die.
Since it is such a clear night, everyone stays outside to stargaze, and as the night progresses they begin to fall asleep. Zoro was sitting alone at a distance watching over everyone and slowly sipping his drink. He isn’t sure how many he had, he lost count back after the first. From the silence, he hears the familiar footsteps of someone. He didn’t even bother to turn around.
Sanji sits down next to Zoro and lights a cigarette, the ‘ fwip ’ of his lighter breaking the silence. The flame briefly breaks the darkness of the night, and Zoro takes a discreet look at Sanji’s face to get a read on the other man. Sanji’s face has a look of being deep in thought, like he’s mulling over something important. Zoro can't help but not notice how handsome the man is even in the dim light.
The flickering light highlights his prominent cheekbones with dancing shadows from the small flame. In the two years of their separation, the cook’s physique had matured from a young teen to a mature man. His face tapered down to a strong chin with a scruffy goatee that suited him. It was definitely more impressive than the scraggly chin hairs the cook used to have. However, he still carries a sense of youthfulness with the long, blonde hair covering his eye, giving him a boyish charm. And of course, how could he not notice the odd swirling eyebrow that earned him the "Curly” moniker from Zoro.
Zoro longed to reach out and trace his fingers along that hypnotizing spiral or run his hands through that mop of blonde hair. But he has to remind himself just how much more awkward it would make the current situation if he did that. He would surely die by the cook’s hands (well, feet) if he tried that now. He restrains himself, keeping one hand firmly on his lap and the other gripping his beer tankard’s handle.
“What do ya want, Curly?” Zorro grunts. He is having a good night and didn’t want the shithead cook to ruin it. Besides, he is way too exhausted for a full-blown fight after all the food and booze. He just wants to sit and relax for a bit.
Sanji takes a drag from his cigarette and slowly releases the smoke into the night sky. “Can I ask you something?” Sanji cooly asks, no aggression in his voice whatsoever. The question catches Zoro completely off guard. Alarm bells are going off in his head. The cook can’t be asking what he was thinking, was he? No, it has to be something completely different, he’s just being paranoid. Zoro tries not to show his manic thinking, but can still feel heat slowly creep up his face. Thankfully it’s dark and the bastard can’t see him , he thinks.
The cook continues his interrogation. “You gay or something, Marimo?” Zoro sharply inhales a mouthful of beer and he starts to violently cough. This was how he was going to die, he thought. Not during an epic battle, not defending his title as the world’s greatest swordsman. No, he is gonna die, because the shit cook asked him if he was a faggot .
“Wha-… What? Why the hell are you asking that?” Zoro sputters out in between coughs, thumping his chest in an attempt to clear out his lungs. He is trying to stay composed and act surprised to even be asked that, and failing miserably. Roronoa Zoro is not exactly well known for his subtlety.
Sanji softly chuckles and motions his head over to where the crew is sleeping on the deck. “I mean, isn’t it kinda obvious? ‘Cause if you haven’t noticed, we’ve got some beautiful women onboard.” Sanji gestures with his cigarette over in the direction of where Nami and Robin are sleeping on the deck. “Not to mention all the other fine ones we’ve seen since starting this quest. We’ve spent so much time together, whether we wanted to or not. It’s hard to miss that sort of thing, I have never seen you express the slightest interest in them, which I frankly find impossible.”
Fuck. Zoro can really feel the panic starting to set in. Maybe he can deflect and turn this into a verbal sparring match. They were constantly arguing, why would this be any different? He’s gotta do something, anything, to get the focus off of him. “Well, maybe 'cause I’m not some perv who ogles every woman I see.”
Sanji makes a tsk tsk sound and wags a finger in front of Zoro’s face. “Uh-uh, Marimo. You still haven’t answered the question. And don’t think you can lie to me. If you do, I will never stock alcohol ever again.”
“Fucking hell…” Zoro hisses under his breath and presses his hands to his face. Maybe he should just throw himself off the ship and let the sea take him. But that would still be an answer in and of itself, wouldn’t it? There was no way out of this for him. He just had to face this head first, consequences be damned.
“Fine. Fine . Yeah, I’m gay. Are you happy now? Now tell me why you’re even asking before I kick your ass back to the East Blue, Curly.” Zoro can feel his heart trying to escape his chest and his hands starting to tremble. He can only imagine the smug, self-satisfied grin the cook must have on his face.
Sanji lets out another sigh, places a hand on Zoro’s shoulder, and gently pats it. “Calm down there, mosshead. Don’t think I’m gonna mock you or something, not for this at least.”
Zoro does in fact not calm down. He is still quite agitated. “And why not?” he asks through clenched teeth. “Don’t you want to tell everyone what a pansy or how disgusting I am? That I’m too weak or limp-wristed to stay on this ship?” Sanji sharply slaps the back of Zoro’s head in response.
“Shut the fuck up, algae brains. There are so many things wrong with what you’re saying. Do you honestly believe that Luffy would let you leave this crew of misfits because you don’t like women? Luffy ?”
Zoro doesn’t want to admit it, but the cook had a point. Everyone on this ship was an outcast in their own way, rejected or abandoned. They all had their scars but have found a place where they truly belonged on Luffy’s crew. Why would their captain remove him from being gay? Honestly, Luffy would probably forget anything Zoro said the minute he got hungry or saw a particularly interesting beetle.
“As for the weak shit, how the fuck would your sexuality determine that?” Sanji continues, sharply poking Zoro in the chest. “And the only disgusting thing about you is your lack of hygiene sometimes. God , Shithead, take a bath or something!”
“C’mon, you’ve been at a bar before. You’ve heard the shit they say… about people like me.” Zoro says, his voice almost breaking. He starts to breathe heavily, he’s getting frustrated by all of this. Why the hell did the cook have to ruin what was a pleasant night?
“Yeah, I have. Shithead, I used to live in a restaurant. You don’t think I know how shitty people are to those they think are different? Have you ever heard me agree with that bullshit? Because that’s what it is: Bullshit. And, I swear to god that I will feed you to Luffy if you tell anyone I said this, you’re one of the strongest people I have ever met.”
Butterflies fill Zoro’s stomach when he hears this. As long as the two men have known each other, neither has ever complimented the other like that before. This was so unusual, Zoro really did not know how he should react. “You are too…” he quietly mumbles. “But why do you even care? It has nothing to do with you.”
Sanji takes one last slow drag of his cigarette before extinguishing it and retorts nonchalantly, “Relax, keep your haramaki on. I like guys too, shitty Marimo.”
The single brain cell left alive in Zoro’s brain dies, this was all just too much for it. There are hundreds of questions pinging around in his mind, but he just can’t put them into words. The seconds tick by, and he’s struggling to just spit out something . This can’t be happening , he thinks. Surely he is dying from choking on his beer earlier and these are just the final thoughts of his withering brain.
Zoro sharply turns to face Sanji. If Zoro is going down like this, he is going down swinging. “Bull shit , Dartbrow,” he growls. “I’ve only heard you singing the praises of every woman who as much as breathes in your direction. Not to mention, the literal nosebleeds if you happen to catch a glimpse of shoulder. You’re not exactly subtle with your lust for ladies, ero cook.”
There, that should end this nonsense. Zoro was gonna swipe the most expensive booze from the kitchen after this, revenge for this little joke the cook decided to pull. No amount of Diable Jambe would stop him, he needed it to forget this whole thing happening.
Sanji calmly pulls out another cigarette, lights it, and takes a long drag on his cigarette. Zoro can feel his patience thinning with each second the cook takes to do this. Finally, the cook exhales the smoke through his nostrils and begins to speak. “Well first, because women are literal goddesses and deserve to be treated as such. Second, most of the guys on this ship are either spoken for or obviously off limits.”
Zoro immediately thought of who the cook was referring to. Usopp was enamored with Kaya, Robin and Franky were married, and Luffy was… Luffy. And no way in hell would he be interested in the pantie-obsessed reanimated skeleton. But what about him? Did the cook find him repulsive or something?
Sanji continues with his explanation, breaking Zoro from his stupor. “Third, some people get… unpleasant if they hear you swing a certain way. Now, it’s not that I’m ashamed of it or anything. Far from it.” The cook lets out a soft sigh, this is obviously something that is a sore spot. “But there are just some days when it’s just… easier to pretend that part of me doesn’t exist. To be what everyone expects you to be.”
The swordsman cannot believe what he’s hearing. All these revelations are tumbling over each other in his mind like rocks in a landslide. How had he missed all of this? And why was the cook telling him these things? This is all so sudden, and he doesn’t really know how to respond. “When…when did you realize this?” Zoro asks quietly.
Sanji softly chuckles and says “Remember Iva? I was sent to her island full of queer people and had to do a lot of learning. You don’t spend two years in a place like that without doing some self-reflection. I needed help navigating my identity. We have navigation problems in common, don’t we?” Sanji says with a shit-eating grin while elbowing Zoro in the ribs.
“Hmph, asshole,” Zoro quietly grumbles. “Well, what kind of things did you learn there then?”
“That I look fantastic in heels. But really, it was that you can like more than just women or just men. And by 'you' I mean myself. I was so certain that I could love only women, I just ignored anything that didn’t line up with being straight. I do love women, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes a man will catch my eye.”
Zoro can only imagine the anguish Sanji must have gone through. He knows firsthand just how exhausting it is to hide such a big part of yourself, and he can’t help but feel slight jealousy of the blonde’s confidence. Still, there’s one question that is eating away at him. “Why are you bringing this up?” Zoro asks carefully.
“I’m asking because I’ve noticed you eyeing me. You’re not subtle, you know.” Zoro feels something brush up against him. Sanji has moved in closer, brushing their shoulders together. “And I needed to know because that would determine my next move. Remember how I said most of the men here were off limits? I said most, not all.” Zoro can feel Sanji’s hand being placed on top of his. He was so grateful that it was so dark out, he could feel the blood rush to his face.
“There’s someone on the ship I wasn’t sure about. I had a feeling he was maybe interested, but I needed confirmation before I made a fool of myself.” The cook snuffs out his cigarette and in one swift movement places himself into Zoro’s lap, turning to face him. Zoro can feel the blonde’s breath against his neck, the smell of tobacco filling his head.
Sanji brings out his lighter again to light another cigarette. Zoro's breath falters at finally being able to see Sanji in the flickering, amber light. He could only hope he didn’t look as stupid as he felt he did. Now the blood was being diverted from his face to somewhere else. This could not be happening, this is not real. If his dying brain could finish up this hallucination, he would greatly appreciate it. Sanji takes another drag of his cigarette, looks at it, and decides to put it out to save for later. “Now that I know I have a chance, I can do this .”
He places one of his hands against Zoro’s face, softly stroking his thumb against his jaw. Then, Sanji gently places his lips on top of the swordsman’s, almost as if the cook was waiting for a reaction, to see if they should proceed with this.
Zoro leans intensely into the kiss, he almost has to restrain himself to not accidentally launch Sanji off his lap. He wraps his arms around Sanji’s waist, just in case. The cook’s lips are enchanting, softer than he could have imagined. He pulls Sanji closer, practically melting into his body. Their lips lock together for so long, neither of them wanting the moment to end.
Eventually, the two men break away from each other, but just for a second. Zoro can feel a new type of hunger setting in. He leans in for another kiss with ferocity, and Sanji gladly reciprocates. Everything seemed so surreal, he had thought about this moment so many times and now it was happening. A part of him says that maybe they should stop. Everyone else was still on deck and could see them.
Imagine if someone like poor Chopper saw this! But honestly, he doesn’t care. If anyone saw, that was their own damn fault. Right now there were only the two of them. They keep this up until their faces begin to ache, and even then Zoro doesn’t really want to stop. Finally, Zoro manages to speak. “So, was this your plan all along?”
Sanji chuckles and says, “I guess you could say it was. Didn’t really think I’d get this far though. Why, did you have something else in mind, mosshead?” Zoro didn’t think his face could get any redder, but somehow the cook managed to find a way to set it ablaze. Zoro has many things in mind, but there is something he has to know before they get anywhere near those ideas.
“I just wanna know… why? Not that I’m complaining or anything, far from it, Curly. I wouldn’t have guessed you’d be interested since it seems like my mere presence pisses you off.”
“Trust me, I’ve asked myself the same thing,” Sanji said while playfully biting Zoro’s ear. “If anything, I thought I was the one who didn’t stand a chance. Everywhere we go, everyone knows the infamous Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro. Why the hell would he possibly be interested in a random cook.”
Sanji pauses for a second and lets out a quiet sigh. Zoro can tell that this is a sensitive topic. He moves a hand to cradle Sanji’s face and gives the cook a gentle kiss. Sanji’s lips begin to curl into a smile, and he continues to speak in an earnest tone.
“I guess I thought that if I kept my guard up enough, you wouldn’t notice my longing and maybe I’d get over it. However, that plan didn’t work and I knew I had to do something about it sooner or later. And despite what I say, Mossy, you are easy on the eyes.”
Zoro chuckles and responds, “But what would you have done, if I wasn’t actually interested in guys?”
Sanji puffs out his chest and proclaims “Well, obviously you would be so charmed by a passionate love confession from me, that you would just give into temptation. But honestly Marimo, I was pretty sure you were interested. I’ve caught you staring at my ass more than a few times.”
“I guess it can’t be helped,” Zoro murmurs in protest. “It’s a nice ass after all.”
Sanji leans in to kiss the swordsman again. “Well, if you think looking at my ass is nice, just wait until you get to touch it, along with everything else” he whispers seductively into Zoro’s ear while undoing the buttons of his dress shirt. Zoro says a silent prayer that none of his crew mates have to get up in the middle of the night and follows Sanji’s lead.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
When Zoro wakes up the next morning, he fully expects to find himself alone. After all, that’s how the morning after a hook-up always goes for him. And even though it was always fully agreed upon that these would just be one-night stands, Zoro would still always feel a bit hurt. He just couldn’t help it.
It seemed like this was what he was destined for, doomed to lose any connections he made. So why would this time be any different? Maybe the cook had drunk way beyond his limit and this was all just one huge mistake. Or maybe all the damage they’ve taken in their skirmishes had finally led to some traumatic brain injury and the cook wasn’t thinking straight. Well, not straight straight.
But to his amazement, Sanji is still there. They are both resting side by side on the ship’s deck, covered by Zoro’s cloak. Zoro watches the gentle rise and fall of the cook’s chest. The rays of the early morning sun were turning his blonde hair a bright, golden hue and making his skin shimmer. He looked practically angelic.
However, Zoro knew firsthand after their night together that the cook was far from holy. He gently traces his finger along Sanji's collarbone, continues along his neck up to his face, and finishes by swirling it around the cook’s curly eyebrow. Zoro almost jumps out of his skin when the cook begins to stir.
Sanji lets out a quiet yawn and leans in to give Zoro another kiss. “Morning, Mosshead. Managed to get some sleep?”
Zoro pulls Sanji closer and begins to stroke his fingers through the cook’s hair. “I did, but you sure seemed hell-bent on keeping me up all night.” Both men quietly chuckle, they had hardly slept at all. They were far too busy with other things.
“I should be saying the same thing to you.” Sanji lets out a small groan, ”Shit, gotta say that sleeping on a wooden floor is not great for my back. Let’s try to find someplace softer for next time, alright?”
Next time . Those words make Zoro’s heart flutter. That meant that this wasn’t just a one-time thing, another in a string of flings. He hadn’t ruined things and made Sanji want to run away as far as he could. Zoro adjusts himself to face Sanji and asks him.
“Sanji… how… How are you feeling? What now? What are we?” Zoro decided to skip the usual name-calling, this was important to him and he wanted the cook to know that.
“Well, like I said, my back is fucked up more than usual. But otherwise, I’m feeling pretty good.” Sanji pushes his hair to the side and gazes longingly at Zoro’s face. “I’d say we’re crew mates, but I’m very open to being something more than just that, Zoro.” Sanji snakes his fingers between Zoro’s and squeezes their hands together.
A grin spreads over Zoro’s face and he presses Sanji’s body into his own. “Yeah, I think I’d like that a lot, Curly.” The two men exchange an enthusiastic kiss and decide that they should probably get up before anyone finds them like this.
Besides, it was almost breakfast, and nobody would be able to stave off Luffy for long if he had to wait for food. It was the usual breakfast affair, nothing fancy or extravagant, but to Zoro, it was the best breakfast he had had in a long time because he knew it was made by someone who loved him.
Epilogue
Zoro can’t believe he is doing this. He did not think that he would ever be back here this soon, let alone with someone else joining him. And yet, here he is. It had been years, but his muscle memory still remembers the way. It was as if he had never stopped coming here.
“Wow, I’m impressed that you managed to find the way here, Marimo.” Sanji pats Zoro’s back in mock admiration.
“What can I say, master navigator right here. Think the witch is gonna be out of a job?” Zoro replies with a slight chuckle. He turns to face Sanji, takes the cook's hands into his own, and gives him a small kiss. “I used to come here so much, I would never forget the way.”
The two of them were standing in front of a cemetery entrance. Sanji didn’t fully understand why they had sailed all the way to Shimotsuki Village, Zoro’s childhood home. All he knows is that Zoro had asked the crew if they’d be willing to take him there because there was something he had to do there. Everyone on board could tell that this would mean a lot to the swordsman, so they enthusiastically agreed to help.
Zoro had pulled Sanji aside and sheepishly asked if the cook would accompany him somewhere on the island once they arrived. Sanji tried to coax more information out from Zoro, but all Zoro said was “You’ll see.” Sanji decided he would just trust his partner and go with him for moral support.
Zoro leads Sanji through the maze of headstones while holding a water bucket in his other hand. Although he has been away for so long, not much has changed. There were a few new plot markers with names he didn’t recognize, but that was the only major difference he noticed. Once he finds what he is looking for, he lets go of Sanji’s hand and lets muscle memory guide him. He is grateful that the upkeep had been continued in his absence.
While Zoro busies himself with the well-practiced ritual, Sanji stands there in quiet regard watching the swordsman. He normally only saw the mosshead with this kind of concentration when he was either intensely training or tending to his katanas.
This was the first time he’d seen it being applied to something outside of swords. He starts to wonder if he should even be here, he feels like he is invading Zoro’s privacy. A pleasant breeze starts to blow, gently rustling his hair. The single golden earring hanging from his ear beats softly against his neck.
His attention is brought back to the present when he notices that Zoro is standing in front of him holding a few sticks of incense. Wordlessly, Sanji brings out his lighter and lights them until a gray silky trail of smoke begins to waft out.
Zoro nods in thanks, turns around, and places the sticks down in front of the headstone. Next to the incense, Sanji places a small offering of milk and some fried eggs he had prepared earlier. He thought it was a strange combo to request, but Zoro insisted on it. Plus, he would never say no to a lady’s request.
With the preparation complete, both men fold their hands together, bow their heads, and say silent prayers. Zoro clears his throat and begins to speak. “Hey, Kuina. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Hope you’re doing alright.” Zoro pauses as if he is waiting for a response. After a few quiet moments, he continues.
“I know, I look a bit different, but it’s still me. You still owe me another match and don’t think about going easy on me just because of the missing eye now.” Sanji tries to stifle a laugh, he doesn’t want to ruin the solemnity of the moment. Relief washes over him when he looks over at Zoro chuckling as well. “I’m still more than capable of kicking your ass. Man… I’ve got a lot to tell you, so you better get comfortable. It’s gonna take awhile.”
Zoro then reaches over for Sanji’s hand and pulls him close. Sanji turns his head towards Zoro and sees a small smile on his face. He also sees a few tears welling up in Zoro’s eye, and he can’t help but join in with a few tears of his own.
Taking a deep breath, Zoro turns back to face the headstone. “Anyway, there’s somebody I want you to meet…”
END