Chapter 1: A (Vampire-Shaped) Wrench in the Plan
Notes:
Hey! This concept has been in my brain obsessively lately. I have a good amount written but I’m not sure exactly where this is going to go. Hope you like it!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Great!… This was just great!… 1.5 years of prep gone down the drain!… All that work to run into the one thing she was trying to catch a break from: supernatural bullshit…
One would think after attending high school multiple times in the last 50 or so years Aušra would be used to first days at new schools, but nope, apparently not (to her extreme displeasure).
She actually didn’t mind going back to school every 10-15 years too much (other than the dreaded first day anxieties). (She’d usually only go for junior and senior, which definitely helped her not despise it.) It helped her not feel so alienated from society. It allowed her to know any new information that she’d be expected to know in college as well as be exposed to the pop culture references of the generation that’d she’d be working with for the next 15 years. It also helped her to feel like less of an outsider, more… normal. It was a necessity, at least that’s how she tried to see it. (It also didn’t hurt that she was denied most forms of proper education in her earlier life and was doing her best now to take full advantage of the privilege).
Something was feeling off. Not right, but not wrong either —the uncanny valley of rightness. Barely enough to notice consciously but, still very much there. The anxiety she was feeling certainly had something to do with it, but it was something more. Something scratching at the back of her brain. Feeling hauntingly familiar, yet seemingly always evading her grasp when she tried to identify it. Aušra took a deep breath in, held, then released slowly. Closing her eyes, and taking another few cleansing breaths, she pushed out with her own jėga to better ‘feel’ around her.
*life-force/magic*
She focused on the school first. And it –it felt like a normal high school. The echos of anxiety, self-loathing, giddiness, stress, trepidation, friendship, hormones, and anticipation, (among others) that had fully permeated into the walls after so many years, practically becoming a part of the building itself. As well as that odd signature almost unique to schools of being so full of life and experiences but at the same time so strangely lifeless.
She still felt that nagging sensation of wrongness though, but each time she tried to pin it down it would slip away like trying to grasp smoke. She unfortunately couldn’t get any real readings on the individual students who went there (her soon-to-be peers). The weekend allowing any of their residual energies to fade to something quieter, something harder to sense definitively. So she couldn’t even tell if the wrongness was associated with any of them.
Oi.
Feeling her frustration rising and the beginnings of a headache blooming behind her eyes, Aušra decided to just let it go. She could figure it out later if needs be.
Allowing her own jėga to retreat back to its normal radius with a low, grumbly sigh; she then switched her focus to recentering herself. She focused on the energies she could feel emanating from the few trees and other plants on campus. Without really even concentrating, she could feel them swirling lazily around her fingers, wrapping themselves around her in greeting. Allowing their soothing jėga to seep into her soul, trying to displace the anxious energy that swirled around inside her chaotically. She could feel the slight headache start to recede. She should’ve spent more time this morning aligning herself at home before she got to school, but she just didn’t really have the time to do it properly. (Her house was still mostly a mess of unpacked boxes from her move the week prior).
After a few long moments, feeling a bit more centered, calm, and in control, Aušra opened her eyes to the building in front of her. She had decided to arrive early, so she would have ample time find all her classes before school started. That way she wouldn’t have to worry about trying to do it with a time constraint (very little made her more anxious than time constraints in unfamiliar tasks and situations). And considering that the only cars she could see was her own and the staffs’ (they were in a separate parking lot), it was safe to say that she was very early —probably too early. But she praised her past self anyways for her over achieving-ness considering she just spent about a minute and a half standing in the parking lot with her eyes closed, and that would’ve been odd to do with an audience. (And she would’ve had to do it or else it would bother her to no end all day).
Though she didn’t really care too much what others thought of her, it’s still best to not to set yourself apart as the “weird kid” from the get-go. Especially when you’ve already got an attention target on your back from coming into the school year nearly 2 months late. (She really had tried her damndest to have everything be ready for her to be able to start the school year with everyone else but some things are out of your control).
———•<•>•———
As far as first days go, it actually hadn’t been that bad. Aušra was able to find all her classrooms beforehand with relative ease. She had gone around to all her teachers and introduced herself and handed in all the make- up work the teachers had nicely set aside for her to pick up from the office when she moved in last week (the make-up work was one of the main contributors to her still packed abode). Teachers and students had messed up her name (which she expected, Lithuanian is not common). The sun had actually made an appearance for a few hours so she took her lunch outside trying to complete as much homework as possible. Her bench-mate was missing from Biology II though.
She talked to some of her classmates and had even received an invitation to sit with a group of students at lunch (though she wasn’t sure she was actually going to pursue friendship with them yet, it still felt nice that they were going to at least try to include her). Then left immediately after her last class, Advanced Computer Sciences.
Aušra spent most of her afternoon walking around the property lines with her familiar (a large black dog, named Tamsus) and then allowing him free rein of the woods that surrounded her house while she got to unpacking. She was mostly just doing her books and ingredients. She hadn’t had time to put down the proper wards on her land and was planning on doing that over the weekend. So, she was unpacking all her ingredients, making note of what she’d need more of. Once the sun started to set Aušra called Tamsus inside.
«Did you have fun?» Aušra asked as soon as his large form was in sight.
‘Yes! I like this one.’ She felt his reply.
«Good, cause I do too. Did you find anything of note during your patrol?» she asked him playfully, while putting his food out and preparing her own. (She didn’t technically have to talk to him aloud but it had always made her feel a little crazy to have the entire conversation in her head unless it was necessary.)
‘No—YES! There is a creek! Many ferns and mosses! And snails! Also I believe there are bats on our territory. And funny smells but they were not in our borders. Do not know what from, they were too far away.’ Tamsus replied giddily.
Aušra smiled, letting out a small huff of laughter at her companion’s enthusiasm, «well you’ll have to show me the creek later. And remind me to greet our neighbors the bats okay?»
‘Yes! When? Also what to do about the smells?’
She hummed thinking, biting her inner cheek. «Well the bats and the creek will have to be later this week, when we’re picking spots for the wards, maybe? And there’s not much we can do about the smells if they’re off our land so we’ll just have monitor to see if they’re getting closer, alright? That sound like a plan to you?» She looked down at him expectantly. He stopped his noisy eating to meet her eyes giving her a curt nod along with a ‘yes.’ before returning to his messy eating.
She gave him a pat on the butt, ‘You’re a mess ya’ know that Tamsie?’ she thought while heading to the table. He didn’t give her a ‘verbal’ reply but she felt his agreement.
After feeding herself as well, Aušra packed the leftovers for lunch the next day (she’d forgotten how bland school lunches were, not a mistake she’d have to make twice). And settled down for the night finishing off the few assignments she had left.
All in all it had been a good first day. Forks would be good, she thought to herself before drifting off to sleep.
———•<•>•———
Aušra was going to strangle her past self for jinxing them…
Day two started out fine, but then proceeded to go downhill. She had woken up on time, made herself breakfast (she technically didn’t need to eat everyday but she liked to. Food was delicious and it also helped with that sense of normalcy), took care of Tamsus, put her lunch in her bag —all of the normal morning routine stuff. She had even had some time to align herself! Everything was seemingly going good. It was only until she was half way to school that she realized that she had left all her homework on her dining room table…
Not wanting to be missing assignments just one day in, she turned her car around to go grab them. She had time, right?
Turns out, she did have time! The exact amount of time needed to get to school, right as the first bell rang. And just enough time to get to homeroom, right before the late bell rang. Which was way. too. close. for. comfort. And adding insult to injury, due to all the rushing and stress, she could feel that her alignment was back to where it was when she woke up.
Might’ve as well just not aligned myself this morning and had the time to make it early…
It was only when the bell rang to dismiss them to their next period after homeroom did Aušra notice that that feeling of wrongness was stronger than it was yesterday. She felt a small shiver up her spine as she wracked her brain for what the hell that feeling was. And maybe it was due to her distracting thoughts, or maybe it was her misalignment, or maybe the universe was just throughly trying to make the day the worst but —whatever the reason— she didn’t notice a certain someone walking by her in the halls, but they certainly noticed her.
Luckily, the rest of the first half of the day went normally, which gave Aušra a false sense of hope that the day wouldn’t be all bad (but no way was she actually going think those thoughts, because that’d just be begging for trouble on this already no-good-day).
She checked in with Tamsus on her way to lunch, ‘ How’s it going at home? Holdin’ down the fort? Find anything else interesting? Any changes to the smells?’
‘All good here. Nothing interesting…’ she could feel the slight pang of disappointment in him, ‘But! I have been looking for good warding spots! And I think I found some!’ She smiled slightly to herself, it never ceased to amuse her on how quickly her companion’s mood could change and how much joy he felt when he was able to be helpful. She sent him a pulse of praise and gratitude.
‘Good job! I’ll get out some marking stakes when I get home so you can mark them out properly tomorrow. ‘Kay? Also, keep an eye out for any other useful plants in the area. I’ve got to go now but I love you! Mwah! *head kiss*’
Aušra could feel his giddiness as he preened at her praise of him.
‘I LOVE YOU! I WILL BE A VERY GOOD BOY! *head bump*’ and with that, she pushed their connection to the background, and drew her attention back to the cafeteria she just walked into.
It wasn’t very full, she had gotten there rather quickly, considering her last class was in the same building, just down the hall.
She scanned the tables looking for the girl that had invited her to sit with her group. After only a few moments her eyes locked onto the sophomore, Angela.
You can do this Aušra, you’ve done this many times before. Just relax, it’ll be fine, they’re just high schoolers, you are a nearly 200 year old kerėtoja of great power —and a good and interesting person. They will like you, and if they don’t —Fuck 'Em! It’s their loss! And you can always just hex them later if they’re super mean (not really but it’s nice to dream).
*sorceress/witch*
With the slight pep talk over (anxiety amirite?), Aušra took a deep breath and calmly walked over to the table.
“Hey, Angela, right? I’m in your advanced computer science class last period?” she asked tentatively (Angela seemed shy and she didn’t want to ‘put her off’ by being too ‘aggressive’).
Angela looked a little startled, apparently not realizing that someone had walked up on her. She recovered quickly though, and gave Aušra a warm smile.
“Yes! Please, sit” she gestured to the table, “it’s Astra right?”
She pulled out the chair next to Angela and sat down.
“Aušra, like Oh•shra,” she slowed down the pronunciation and made sure to enunciate her own name, as she’d been doing the whole day (and would probably continue to do for the whole week), “is it just going to be us?”
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! Oh•shra, Oh•shra,” she practiced the pronunciation, “like that?” she looked Aušra hopefully, who smiled and nodded, “and more people will be coming, they’re just in line or still walking here from class.” She did a quick cursory glance around the room, presumably looking for said people.
“Okay, and it’s no worries about the name, I know it’s unusual.” Aušra gave her a quick, small smile and made sure to soften her facial expression, (she had major resting pissed face).
They sat in companionable silence for short while until they were joined (almost all at once) by five others.
Before Angela even had the chance to start introductions, the short brunette of the group piped up, “Oh my gosh you’re the new girl! Ashley or Aubry or something? I’m Jessica!” She stuck her hand out for Aušra to shake, which she did tentatively, as Jessica continued on without even stopping, “Where are you from? What do you like to do? Like no one here knows anything about you!”
Slightly thrown off by the sudden bombardment of questions, Aušra took a moment to compose herself while glancing around at the others, one of the boys gave her an apologetic smile.
“It’s Aušra, like Oh•shra. And —”
“Oh! Sorry… Ow•sra, Or•saw…” Jessica interrupted giving a few half-assed attempts at pronouncing her name correctly.
“No, it’s Oh•Shra.” She corrected again, trying to be patient, but she could tell Jessica wasn’t really trying to get it right, which severely shortened her patience.
“Aw•stra? Ugh, do you have like an American nickname? Like what if we called you…” she paused, Aušra looked around the table at the other students trying to gauge their feelings about this odd interaction. The boy from before’s smile had turned into more of a grimace. The other students had adopted either apologetic looks for Aušra, or slightly annoyed looks for Jessica. Angela had a pained look as if she wished for the floor to open and swallow her whole.
Not wanting the awkwardness to continue (for everyone else’s sake), Aušra relented, “I, uhh… you can call me Ash if that’s easier.” There was a hint of defeat in her tone that she had hoped to hide better. She hadn’t been able to use her real name since the before Red Scare/Cold War era. She had really been hoping that people would be good with it this time around. It was oddly disappointing to have to resort to a ‘nickname’ again.
Jessica (unsurprisingly) did not register Aušra’s disappointment, “oh, good. That’s so much easier to remember! So Ash where are you from?”
“Originally? Lithuania. I t’s a country by the Baltic Sea, ya know by Latvia, Poland, Belarus…” seeing the confusion in the faces of her peers, she tried again, “by Scandinavia? Like in Eastern Europe by Russia? But I’ve moved a bit in my life. I just moved here from Wyoming.”
“Lithuania that’s so cool! How long did you live there? Do you speak any other languages? I’m Becca by the way,” said the girl with shorter black curly hair.
“I lived there for 8 years then I moved to America, and I do speak other languages. Lithuanian is my first language, though an argument could also be made for English being my first as well. I also speak Russian —sort of, and ya know two years of high school Spanish so you could say, ‘yo hablo español muy bien!’ ” The table let out a small laugh at the comedically bad Spanish accent she had put on.
*I speak Spanish very well*
She was lying though, she was fluent in both Spanish and Russian (as well as quite a few others), having lived in Spain for 5 years (and then in the deep south in Mexico for another 5) and having been born in Lithuania when it was technically a part of Russia. (Some would say that would make her Russian not Lithuanian, but to those people she would say, ”Tu esi toks kvailas, kad net šuva į tave nežiūri.”).
*You’re so stupid that even a dog doesn't look at you.*
“That’s so cool! I wish I could speak languages other than English.…” Becca lamented. There were some murmurs of agreement around the table.
“Wait…if Lithuanian was your first language shouldn’t you have an accent?” Jessica asked.
Becca whipped her head towards Jessica affronted disbelief plastered on her face, “You did not just ask someone why they don’t have an accent.”
“What? What’s wrong with that? I don’t see the issue,” Jessica replied, offended.
“You don’t —ugh! the issue is that you’re being a dick, Jessica. It’s impolite to ask people that!”
Jessica looked like she was going to retort before someone else spoke up first.
“So, why did your parents choose Forks? Oh, and I’m Mike by the way,” The blonde with spiky hair, Mike, asked.
“Oh…umm… my parents?” Damn! She had been really hoping to put off this conversation for at least a couple of weeks. “I, uh… they um… died when I was 12…”
Mike blanched, his eyes went wide, mouth opening slightly in shock. In fact, the whole table went still, as if someone had frozen them in place.
“Oh. uh. I um…uh…” Mike started sputtering, unable to form a coherent sentence in his shock.
“It’s okay!” she quickly blurted out trying to salvage the situation, “it happened a long time ago, I’m over it —well not over it — but I came to terms with it a while ago. We moved to the states when I was 8, for a job opportunity my dad had. My dad was American, and when him and mom died, it was his dad that adopted me. But then he died when I was 15 and I got fostered by a friend of my grandpa. But when I turned 16, I emancipated myself and then moved here because my aunt —well, she’s not really my aunt, just a really close friend of my parents— she lives in Port Angeles and wanted me nearby and offered to help me find a place. But Port Angeles is more expensive than Forks so I moved here instead…” she cut herself off because she was starting to ramble. It was a story she had used and told many times, so it was easy to get carried away in her telling of her ‘backstory’. She gave a shy, awkward smile to the table collapsing in on herself slightly. “Heh, sorry… I know that’s a lot of information.” She hoped she looked bashful.
They all just sat there staring at her, not knowing what to say or do with any of the mess of information she just dumped on them. They seemed stuck in place, frozen in time, she decided to give them a little extra help moving on from that disaster.
Moving her left hand to her right trapezius, Aušra traced her thumb in a circle around the small half-dollar sized rune hidden under her shirt. In a motion that looked similar to someone just trying to massage their shoulder, she pressed into the rune while focusing a small amount of her jėga there, praying that she was aligned enough for this to work properly. She felt the slight chill and hum as the spell in her skin was set off. Almost immediately the table seemed to relax and turn their attention elsewhere, as if what she said wasn’t that interesting. Aušra let out a small sigh, throwing out her thanks to the world that that worked.
Crisis averted! Not that that was really a crisis but maybe we can go back to normal?
The table lapsed into calm with more comfortable topics than dead parents. They weren’t completely ignoring her so she sent out more thanks that she was able to actually get the intensity of that spell correct as unaligned as she felt (she wasn’t all that unaligned just more-so than she was used to which could really trip her up with the more delicate spells.)
Aušra turned to Angela intent on making small talk, but before she could even open her mouth she felt that prickling and scraping sensation again, more intense than before, like sandpaper inside the back of her skull. She froze. Almost simultaneous to the sensation Jessica started to speak to the table again,
“Here come the Cullens —fashionably late as usual.”
“You’re just jealous that they’re all ‘so hot’ and yet want nothing to do with you,” Becca chided with a smug smile.
“They don’t want anything to do with anyone here! It’s like think they’re too good for us!” Jessica responded, her voice changing in a way to indicate she was trying to yell without actually raising the volume of her voice.
Aušra turned in the direction the entire table was now facing, though she noted that Angela didn’t turn to look at these ‘Cullens’.
Walking down the middle of the alley was a group of five teenagers. Two girls —a blonde and a dark brunette— and three boys, —blond, black and red hair. Except, those weren’t teenagers. She stiffened. She didn’t even get a good at them before she unconsciously zoned out, her mind going a mile a minute.
VAMPIRES!? Why didn’t I recognize that energy as vampires? It’s so obvious now!! But are you freaking kidding me?? Vampires?? Since when have there been vampires in Forks! Why were they going to a high school —wow that’s kinda hypocritical. There were no signs of anything magical in the area! I checked the entire north east costal area of Washington state before I started the whole process of moving! When did they get here? AUGH! Vampires? How long were they staying? They definitely weren’t nomads, right? But ‘domestic’ —is that the right word for a group that doesn’t move around? Non-nomadic maybe? Oh well, I’m calling them domestic— vampires were practically unheard of. This was supposed to be a chill couple of years but now I have an entire coven inside my territory! I don’t want to have to be responsible for them! Will I have to be responsible for them? Keep them from drinking from the people in the area? Do they know what I am? —doubtful. Which one of them is their coven leader? Were any of them the coven leader? Is this all of them? If not, how many more are there? Five of them would make a large Coven but if there were more? That’d be huge! WHAT. THE. HELL. IS. HAPPENING??
Aušra’s thoughts were interrupted by the familiar buzzing sensation of Tamsus forcefully pushing their connection to the front of her mind.
‘ARE YOU OKAY?! I FELT YOUR PANIC AND CONFUSION! DO I NEED TO COME AND HELP YOU? WHAT IS CAUSING YOUR DISTRESS??’
‘I’m fine. I’m not in any immediate danger okay? Thank you for checking in on me though. Sorry for freaking you out.’
‘Oh… okay… are you sure you do not need me? But what then caused your panic?’
‘Yes I’m sure that I’m fine. And it’s not panic, more like confusion and astonished disbelief. I just learned some information I wasn’t expecting. I’ll tell you about it later when I get home we’ll need to do some investigating together’
‘Okay! Investigating! I like that a lot! I will see you when you get home!’
Aušra was snapped out her own thoughts by a light tingling burn like between her shoulder blades, like someone touching a moderate sunburn.
My divination rune? Why’s that activated?
It was only then did she realize that she had apparently watched the Cullens all the way to their lunch table and was currently still kinda staring at them. She kept her face neutral as she looked at them for a moment more before she turned back around. They had definitely noticed her staring. She’d be shocked if they hadn’t. The only one who’d been looking was the absolute behemoth of a dude with black hair. (Žmogus-lokys). He’d been warily looking at her before turning his attention to the small brunette girl that the rest of them were looking at, though she seemed to have been staring at the table or into space.
*Bear Man (literally person-bear)*
Great, now I’ve drawn the attention of a coven of vampires onto me, just what I needed.
Angela lightly touched Aušra’s arm, “you okay?” she asked quietly, genuine concern in her voice and face.
“Oh yeah… sorry, just zoned out for a second there.” Aušra flashed her a smile which she returned and turned back to the rest of the table. Who, it seemed, hadn’t noticed her unintentional stare down of the Cullens, or if they had they weren’t mentioning it. The divination rune on her back didn’t feel activated anymore so that was a positive. But she still didn’t know why it had activated in the first place. She brought her attention back to the group. The topic of conversation had moved on from the Cullens to something she wasn’t interested in, so she went back to eating her lunch, only half listening.
Ten minutes before the bell rang she got up to throw away her trash. The closest trash can was right next to the Cullens table, lucky her… She walked with confidence towards their table closely watching them from her peripheries. They were watching her for sure, the only one who seemed to not be watching her was the blonde boy, who had his head angled down and slightly away obscuring his face just enough. The red head however seemed more intense in his focus though, his eyebrows furrowed. She gave a normal glance at their table right before she passed. They all suddenly looked away, almost too quick to notice, almost. If her own senses weren’t more enhanced from years of magic running through her veins she might not have caught the movement.
Real subtle guys.
As she passed by she felt a familiar sensation wrapping around her mind, something or someone —she suspected— was trying to get past her mental shield.
Are they trying to read my mind?
She stopped at the trashcans, taking more time than necessary to throw her stuff away. She focused more on the feeling in her head. She could feel the tendrils creeping around looking for a break in her defenses.
They are trying to read my mind!
She scoffed internally. It’d be an ineffective attempt, she knew. She hadn’t spent 2 grueling years with Misha, training mental guards sunrise to sunset —so that she could always have one active without her actually have to think about it— for nothing. No, it’d take some serious force or serious magic to get past her shield. No rando with a ‘gift’ was gonna get through her mental defenses, especially with how much they struggling now, she didn’t even have all of them up! Just the most basic of blocks! She snorted —aloud this time— and spun around quickly on her heel.
The red head was the only one who’d been looking at her, but his eyes quickly darted away. She could feel the tendrils receding. By the look of pure frustration and consternation on his face, it must’ve been him doing it, and apparently he must’ve never had an issue like this before. She wondered if it was a passive trait, or if he had to concentrate on it. No time like the present to check.
She headed back to her table giving the Cullens a sweeping glance, the supposed mindreader was looking down at the table, shoulders somewhat slumped in defeat. As she passed —not stopping— she allowed her mental guard to open for just long enough to allow for one word to make it through to him, before snapping it shut. For extra measure she even made sure to project.
‘Loser.’
She saw his head snapping up (though he didn’t look at her), eyes wide, in her peripherals. She kept her face neutral until she was sure none of them could see it, then allowed the smug smile she’d been suppressing to make its way across her face.
Passive mind reading it seems. Interesting…
Though she knew she shouldn’t, she could definitely have some fun with that ability of his. I mean it’s not like any of them could actually hurt her… well, permanently that is.
Notes:
Also just a quick clarifier, when I use « » instead of quotations they’re speaking a different language, but both parties understand.
Chapter 2: (kinda)Detective Work
Summary:
Aušra has an interesting few classes left to her school day. Then goes home and has a talk with Tamsus.
Notes:
Here’s chapter 2! I’m surprised (but very happy) people are actually reading my story!
Hope you enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Next period was Bio II. She’d left lunch a couple minutes early so she could have some quiet time to continue to digest the fact that there were five teenage vampires in the school. She took her seat near the back of the class, which was blessedly empty for now. She put her head down on the cool, black surface of the table. She took a deep breath in, held, then slowly released. She could feel a tension headache building and she was really hoping to nip it in the bud, she really didn’t want to have to deal with a headache. She looked around, seeing that the room was still empty, she quickly got out the ibuprofen from her bag and took two.
She felt the subtle burn between her shoulder blades again.
What the hell?
She continued her deep breathing exercises, putting her head back on the desk. She heard someone enter the classroom, she didn’t look up, assuming it was likely the teacher. Then, she heard the person walking towards her. She lifted her head. Right in front of her, coming down the aisle was the blond vampire boy. They made eye contact and both froze, looking each other over.
She hadn’t noticed previously but his neck and jaw were absolutely covered in scars. Bite marks mostly, though she could see one that went around what looked like his entire neck, like someone had tried —and likely succeeded— to pull his head off! They had only paused for less than a split second, but it was long enough for both of them —with their enhanced senses— to definitely notice it.
She put her head back onto the table in an attempt to not allow her face to betray her. She played his image over and over in her head. She knew him. She knew him! But from where? And why didn’t she remember? And, it seemed, that he knew her —or at least recognized her.
She heard him take the seat beside her, because of course he was her missing bench-mate. She let out a huff (which he most certainly heard), but kept her head on the desk.
She was wracking her brain trying to figure out how the hell she knew this man. The bell rang dismissing lunch.
Welp, don’t got time to think about it now, guess I’ll have to continue this later tonight. yay…
She lifted her head, leaning over to grab her notebook from her bag on the floor. She let out a small groan as she sat back up, plopping her stuff onto the desk.
She noticed him out of the corner of eye trying to subtly look at her. He seemed to be shifting slightly in his seat, like he was trying to decide on something. She opened her notebook to a new page, if he wanted to talk to her, he’d have to be the one to start the conversation.
And as if on cue, she heard him slightly clear his throat, obviously trying to get her attention. She turned slightly to face him, eyebrows raised in an open expression.
“I wasn’t here yesterday, the name’s Jasper. Jasper Hale,” he held out his hand for her shake, she didn’t even flinch when his hand was unnaturally cold to the touch. He gave her a smile, which she had to admit was kind of dazzling. His eyes were bright yellow, like citrine.
That’s not the color they’re supposed to be. Is he wearing contacts? Why choose such an unnatural color?
His voice had a slight twang to it like he was trying to cover up a southern accent, or maybe he just hadn’t been in the south for a long time.
“I’m Aušra. I just moved to Forks a week ago.” She didn’t really want to be giving an unknown vampire information about herself, but that was easy enough for anyone to find out and it’d be weird to not give inconsequential information like that out.
“Aušra, huh,” she must’ve looked somewhat shocked at him getting her name right on the first try cause he was fighting off a slightly smug smirk. “Now that’s an interesting name, where’s it from?”
“Oh, uh… its –it’s Lithuanian. I’m from Lithuania,” she said shooting a glance around the slowly filling classroom. It seemed that many students were trying —and failing— to not pay attention to her and Jasper’s conversation. Jasper didn’t show any indication that he noticed them (which she was almost sure that he did).
“Lithuania? That’s what, the Baltic Sea area?” he asked.
“Uh, yeah, yeah it is.”
Why is he asking me so many questions? Okay, it’s not that many questions but it’s the way he’s asking, like he’s trying to gather information and not trying to chat.
“That’s along way away from Forks,” he said with somewhat forced nonchalance, it sounded like a question, like he was trying to get her to say why she was here without directly asking.
Oh he’s definitely trying to gather information.
“Yeah, yeah it is,” was all she gave him in reply. She gave him a small smile before turning back in her seat.
She kept an eye on him the rest of class. It was hard not to. He was fidgeting a lot. He kept messing with his collar, or pulling a stand of hair in front of his face, or bringing his hand to his chin or mouth.
Is he having issues with someone in here’s smell?
She knew it wasn’t her (she hoped at least). Multiple vampires she’d met over the years had told her that witches/magic users didn’t usually have much of a smell to them, and the little smell they did have, wasn’t that appealing to vampires. It also wasn’t identifying either. Unlike vampires or shape-shifters whose smells, while unique to the individual, essentially broadcasted (to anyone with a powerful enough nose) exactly what they were. Witches scents were, apparently, like a humans but muted and just never particularly good smelling (which was comforting, knowing that random vampires weren’t going to go feral just by smelling you).
(Aušra found the whole ‘scent thing’ rather odd. (Most ‘supernatural’ creatures had general identifying smells associated with them, vampires smelled sweet, werewolves smelled a bit like a dog along with a sourness, sirens smelled somewhat fishy or like saltwater, shapeshifters smelled like the animal they could shift into along with an earthy-woodsy scent, etc.) She had a good sense of smell —better than a human’s at least— but if she really wanted to smell a creature’s ‘natural scent’ she’d basically have to be hugging them. She couldn’t even get a human’s scent at all —other than normal body odor— it was too subtle for her nose. So the fact that some could smell people across a field —if not even farther— weirded her out.)
She needed more information and knew exactly who she could ask. She just had to hope that she’d be available. Waiting for the teacher to be distracted Aušra pulled out her phone, quickly shooting out a text:
Me:
call 2nite? need hlp w hw
She —to her great surprise— got a reply back immediately.
Aurelia:
Yep! :3 Can u do 0030?
Aušra did some quick math… With daylight savings that was what… 17:30? That’d give her 2.5/3 hours to prepare after school?
Me:
Y. Ty
Aurelia:
Anything 4 u! ;p luv u! (^3^) <3 <3
Me:
<3
She slid her phone back into her pocket, letting out a sigh of relief. That was one solution to the many worries that were whipping around in her head.
Once again, for the third time within the hour she felt her divination blocking rune go off briefly; the hum bizzare against her skin.
WHAT THE HELL? WHO IS TRYING (and failing) TO DIVINE ME??
She noticed Jasper was looking at her. She turned her head, shooting him a confused and slightly annoyed look.
He looked concerned as he studied her face for a moment.
‘You okay?’ he mouthed.
Well, that caught her off guard.
What?… Why was he asking if she was okay?
She studied his face back. His eyes were visibly darker now. More of a dark burnt ochre color than the bright yellow they were barely 20 minutes ago. Definitely not colored contacts then. She might not know what yellow eyes on a vampire might mean, but she did know that the darker the eyes, the thirstier they were.
So he’s definitely having issues with someone’s scent in here. Why is he subjecting himself to this? Why put yourself in a closed room of people if you have issues with your thirst? And again, what the hell was going on with this coven of ‘teenagers’??
She felt a light touch on her forearm; it was Jasper. He was looking at her with a more concerned and now questioning look. He was waiting for an answer, and she’d just been blankly staring at him.
“Yeah I’m fine.” she whispered as quietly as she could, knowing he’d hear her.
“You sure?” he whispered, it sounded strained. She doubted he was breathing regularly if he was struggling with someone’s scent. But he looked genuinely concerned about her. Considering the circumstances, his concern was …kind of touching? Like, he was struggling with his own ‘issues’ which were probably difficult to manage, yet he was checking in on her. The girl who had stared his family down with (probable) murder in her eyes. (She wasn’t actually murderous, just most of her zoned-out, thinking faces read as ‘rage’ or ‘intent to do physical bodily harm’ —or so she had been told many times).
Her eyes locked onto his, studying him. He definitely looked pained, though he was trying to hide it. His whole body seemed tensed, like he was locking down every muscle he could. Thinking for a moment, she decided she was going to help him. At least, as much as she could at the moment.
Looking down and focusing her energy to her fingers and nose she slowly grabbed at the tip of her nose twice (as if it itched). Pulling out the energy she had built up, she turned and looked him back in the eyes, gently putting her fingers on top his. He flinched slightly at her touch, not expecting her to touch him back, but he didn’t pull away. She quickly pushed the jėga stored in her hand into him, while pulling some of his own out.
“Honestly, I’m fine Jasper. Thanks for your concern though.” she whispered. She tried to keep her face in the friendly kind of neutral. Then, she turned back face the front of the class.
She then focused on the jėga she pushed into him. Slowly guiding it from his hand to his face, doing the same with his own. Moving his jėga inside her proved to be more difficult, but she persevered. She proceeded to — extremely slowly — push their jėgos into the nasal area. Carefully spreading it thin around the membranes.
She could feel her own sense of smell start to sharpen. She continued with extreme slowness, not wanting it to be obvious to Jasper that his sense of smell was changing. After 5 minutes all the energy had been properly placed. Aušra took a deep breath in. Scents were definitely stronger now. And someone in the classroom absolutely smelled good. She could feel her mouth watering at the smell. It was an odd sensation, thinking about someone smelling good and getting a fairly strong physiological food response but still actually having no desire to eat it. It was like smelling a cinnamon roll candle. It smells good enough to eat, but you also know it would definitely not taste as good as it smells.
(It was only about a 15% transfer, if she had to wager a guess. She hadn’t been able to do a full transfer because she hadn’t had the time to draw the amount of jėga necessary for it from herself or him. Neither had she wanted to do a full transfer because it would’ve been very noticeable to Jasper that something was up when he was no longer able to smell any human’s smell anymore. She had just wanted to take some of the pressure off of him.)
She gave him a brief side-eye. He seemed to be more relaxed. The tension was out of his shoulders, and his legs were no longer clenched.
She smiled smugly to herself, delighted with her success. Although she had done this technique before —and was very good at it, mind you— many times with Tamsus, different types of shifters, and some other kerėtojos in past Covens, she had never attempted it on a vampire before. (She actually only had a few instances at all where she was able to do any spell with a vampire which required controlling their jėga.)
(There was a reason necromancy was an advanced specialty that very few studied. A lot of spells had to be cast differently and were harder to do properly on undead. It was a frustrating specialty (or so she heard). It also didn’t help that vampire’s jėga felt so weird and different from basically any other kind. It was more ‘slippery’ —as Aušra had heard someone describe it once— which she thought was a very apt description.)
She hadn’t even been sure it was possible to do on a vampire because they were technically undead —albeit in a special category of undead. (Though some argued —mostly the Volturi— that they ‘shouldn’t even be in the category of Undead’ because ‘they had special characteristics that precluded them from fitting the definition’). So, she allowed herself to feel very proud for being able to accomplish it.
In the middle of her little self-congratulatory moment she saw Jasper turn to look at her. His eyebrows were furrowed in question. She did a one shoulder shrug, not bothering to remove the smile from her face, then turned back to the front. His eyes were a little lighter now.
They didn’t interact for the rest of the period.
As the bell rang, Aušra stood, slinging her messenger bag backpack across her chest and turned to face Jasper. He was still sitting down putting his stuff away.
“It was nice meeting you Jasper,” she said giving him a polite smile.
“Uh… oh y-yeah,” he studdered. “You too Aušra.”
Her smile got bigger and more genuine when he pronounced her name correctly, again. She probably felt a bit too happy about that, but it wasn’t everyday that people were able to learn her name and get it right twice in a row with nearly an hour in between. She was very mildly… impressed? Not too impressed, mind you —he was a vampire after all; they had nearly perfect recall, so it was sort of cheating on the ‘remembering’ front— but it still was slightly impressive (and pleasant) that he was putting in the effort of pronouncing it properly.
She gave him a quick nod then headed off to her last class of the day.
———•<•>•———
Advanced Computer Science was essentially an intro to coding class. Since Aušra already knew how to code, it was essentially a free period for her.
She sat by Angela during the class. She was really sweet. Aušra was definitely going to befriend her.
Two of the Cullens were in this class as well. The blonde and the ‘Žmogus-lokys’, but they sat in the opposite corner of the room and kept to themselves.
*bear man (literally person-bear)*
“So what’s up with the Cullens?” Aušra quietly asked Angela during a bit of down time. She knew they’d hear her but didn’t care.
Angela gave her a weird look, “what do you mean?”
“I mean, the whole table —besides you— turned to stare at them when they ‘made their entrance’, like they were Royals or something. Not to mention that Jessica kept throwing them the stink-eye all throughout lunch.”
“Oh that,” Angela didn’t roll her eyes but her tone indicated that she wanted to. “They’re the first people to move to Forks in a while so they’re like a novelty. They only moved in August and they’ve yet to really talk to anyone but each other —except when necessary for group work in class— which ups their ‘mystery factor’. And with Jessica, I think it’s just cause she thinks they’re hot. Primarily Edward, though she did say, ‘they’re all movie star gorgeous it’s so unfair!’ She’s been trying to get his attention since school started, but he’s been ignoring her and she’s upset about that.”
“Well, what do you think about them?” Aušra asked.
“You want to know my opinion?” Angela blushed slightly and lowered her head abashedly.
How often is her opinion ignored or judged by those around her that she’s surprised that I want to hear it??
Aušra felt disgust rising in her chest but kept her face open and friendly. She pushed it down and forced a friendly tone instead of the outraged one she wanted to use, “of course! You’re my friend,” she emphasized the word, “why wouldn’t I want to know your opinion?”
Angela’s blushed deepened, “Uhh… oh yeah… right.”
She took a few moments to compose her thoughts, “I think they’re nice.” She stopped and looked at Aušra —who gave her an encouraging look to continue— she gave a shy smile in response then carried on nervously —as if she expected her to interrupt her at any moment, “I don’t mind that they don’t really talk to anyone but their siblings. They’ve apparently moved around a lot and have probably been to a lot of different schools, so it’s not surprising to me if they don’t really want to try and make friends with us. I wouldn’t, if I was in their shoes. Making friends is hard and I can’t imagine having to leave them every few years and start over.”
“Yeah I can’t blame them either if that’s the case. How do you know that they move a lot? Did one of them tell you?”
“Kinda? Not from any of them, but from their dad?”
“Their dad?” That makes six.
She was speaking more confidently now that she was realizing that someone actually cared about what she thought, “Yeah. Their dad’s really nice, he works at the hospital. Dr. Carlisle Cullen I think? I had to go there one weekend when I was babysitting my little brothers, Isaac had fallen off his bike and needed stitches. He told me that they just moved from Alaska. His wife’s an architect —”
THERE’S SEVEN OF THEM?!
“— and designed their home. He asked if I had any classes with his kids. I told him that I had Edward —he’s the one with red-brown hair— in my history class and Rosalie and Emmett in this one.” She pointed out Rosalie —the blonde— and Emmett —the ‘Žmogus-lokys’— before continuing, “though I said that they keep to themselves for the most part. He said that he wasn’t surprised about that and that’s when he told me about them moving around a bunch.”
“Ah. Okay that makes sense. I met Jasper last period, he’s my bench-mate in Bio II, he seems nice, he asked how I was doing.” Aušra saw Rosalie go rigid in the corner.
“Jasper? That’s Rosalie’s twin right? I’ve never actually met him. Emmett used to sit next to me before seat assignments changed, he talks a little. The times he does talk he’s really funny and sweet. He’s not great at coding, but he tries really hard.” Angela lowered her voice to a whisper and leaned closer continuing, “to be honest, he told me he only took this class because he thought we were going to be learning to code for video games, But I think it’s because Rosalie’s in the class. They’re dating— he’s completely besotted by her.” There was no judgement in her voice, just friendly amusement, like she thought his reasons were cute. She continued, returning to her previous position and volume, “Rosalie is like super smart, Edward is too, but I feel like Rosalie is more humble in her smarts? Like she’s not trying to get attention. Not–not that Edward is pompous or trying to get attention! It’s just he can be a bit condescending to the ‘less smart’ students.” she fumbled at the end there, trying to not be insulting, bowing her head.
Aušra smiled, “it’s okay, it’s not like they can hear you.” She saw Emmett giggling out of the corner of her eye.
“I–I just don’t want to be mean…”
Their attention got pulled back to the front of the class for the next exercise.
Aušra and Angela talked in between coding exercises for the rest of the class. The conversation never went back to the Cullens. Angela asked how she got so good at coding, she replied that it was what she did for work and explained that to be emancipated you have to be able to support yourself financially. Angela was in awe by this and asked more questions about what it was like to be emancipated, did she miss Lithuania, and a whole slew of other questions which made for a pleasant rest of the class.
They made sure to exchange phone numbers before class was over. Aušra gave Angela both her home and cell number, while Angela only had a home number.
She felt the buzzing heat between her shoulder blades twice during that class. She was getting nervous…
Who could possibly be looking for me so relentlessly?
———•<•>•———
Aušra rushed home at the end of the school day. She had a lot to prepare and only 3 hours to do it in.
When she finished pulling up her long driveway, Tamsus was waiting on the front porch for her.
‘Welcome back!’ He was sitting politely but she could see his tail wagging furiously. And feel his barely contained excitement at her return.
She laughed, «Hello to you too, Tamsus. Wanna help me with this?» She raised her bookbag in question.
‘YES!’ He immediately leaped off the porch and sprinted full speed to her, barely able to stop himself from slamming into her in his exuberance.
«Woah, woah! Calm down big guy!» she laughed again, holding the straps together close to the bag so he could hold it without it dragging on the ground.
For how excited he was, he took it rather gingerly in his mouth.
‘Sorry, I got too excited…’ his head lowered somewhat in shame.
«It’s alright buddy.» she replied, giving him a quick scratch behind the ear, «now let’s get inside quickly, we’ve got a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it in.»
‘I get to help?!’ He started off towards the house in a slow run, she followed after him.
Aušra rolled her eyes and huffed a laugh, leaping up the porch steps. Tamsus was at the front door waiting for her to open it even though they both knew he could open it just fine himself. She rolled her eyes again, unlocking and pushing the door open.
He deposited her bag on one of the dining room table chairs. Turning to face her expectantly.
She held a finger up to her lips, ‘basement’
She drew a quick sigil on a sticky note and stuck it to the threshold of the front door, then did the same to the back.
Not pretty but’ll have to work for now.
He tilted his head in question, then stood and made his way to the basement door. It opened and he made his way down the steps. She followed soon after she grabbed a few things from some boxes, shutting the door behind her.
Tamsus was sitting patiently on his bed in the corner of her workshop, silently watching as she hung the small tapestries on the walls.
«Alright, now that no one will be able to hear or read us, we can talk.» she turned to Tamsus, hands on her hips.
‘Who would hear or read us before? Could we not just have this conversation in our minds?’ h e inquired, walking over to her when she sat down on the ground and gestured to the place beside her.
«That’s what we need to talk about, buddy.» Aušra laid back as she recounted her day with the vampires. To her slight surprise Tamsus stayed quiet throughout the whole tale.
‘So you are telling me that a coven of seven vampires lives in town with us? And one of them can read minds? But not yours because of your mental shield. Also, at least one of them has yellow eyes which you do not know what that signifies?’
«Correct.» she said with a slow nod, it always was weird when Tamsus got serious.
‘That is information that would not be expected,’ he replied. ‘But I still do not understand the need for the basement, or why we could not just talk in our heads upstairs?’
«Well, I know he can’t read my mind but I don’t know exactly how his power works so I’m not sure how it would work with your mind or how it would work while we were projecting into each other minds talking. But I put up blocking runes on the thresholds that should keep anything psychic out. And you know how much I don’t like communicating through only thoughts, it can end up getting too messy up here,» she tapped a finger to her temple, «and the basement is because this is where I was going to hang those silencing tapestries anyways.» she pointed at the tapestries on each of the walls.
‘ Those tapestries silence things??’ h e said getting up and sniffing the closest one.
«Yes? What did you think they were for?» Aušra asked, amused-confusion covering her voice.
Tamsus lowered his eyes to look at the floor. He could look incredibly bashful for a 150 pound magical dog. She could feel the embarrassment in his reply, ‘I don’t know… looking pretty?’
She barked out a laugh, «I mean you’re not wrong. They technically don’t have to be anywhere near as intricate as they are, but I had a lot of time a hundred years ago when I was making them. So, I decided to go ‘all out’ and make something that would last and that was pretty to look at. Especially since I was going to have it in every workshop I had. So they are meant to be pretty to look at. But they also have runes woven in that absorb sound. That’s also why I when I beat them clean twice a year they make a stupid amount of noise.»
‘Oh… that explains a lot,’ he said, still feeling embarrassed.
«Alright, enough chatting. Aurelia is calling later at 5:30, so we need to get everything together for that, along with my divination stuff. And we have —» she looked at her watch, «— 2 1/2 hours to do it in, so let’s get going.» She clapped her hands together once, and they got to work.
Notes:
I really like Angela and she deserved better.
Next chapters got more of the Cullens (specifically Jasper, Emmett and Edward)! So stick around if that interests you!Thanks for reading!
Chapter 3: Who’s Different Now?
Summary:
Aušra has a nice time in the woods, gets spied on by some vamps, then talks to an old friend.
Notes:
Just a slight “warning”, this one is pretty dialogue heavy near the end. I tried to make it as digestible as possible but it’s kinda info-dump-y. It is necessary information for the story though.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
With 45 minutes left till 5:30, Aušra hopped into the shower, leaving Tamsus to continue the last of the prep. She methodically cleaned herself, then anointed herself with one of the concoctions they just brewed. She breathed in the aroma, it was extremely bitter smelling, but soothing in a familiar way. She turned to water to cold doing a final rinse before stepping out and drying off.
Her hair was still rather short as she had shaved it 6 months prior (she did use a spell for some of the regrowth to cover up the new —and old— runes she had tattooed there, but did not care enough to keep up the magical growth process past the awkward part of the growing phase) so her hair still did not quite reach her shoulders.
She parted it down the middle, braiding both sections. Weaving a ribbons into each braid, she tied the end of one braid to the base of the other and vice-versa. Satisfied, she went to her room to don the traditional outfit she had laid out for herself.
The blouse was white linen and long, going nearly to her knees, with white buttons. It had large full-length sleeves that had detailed red geometric pattern weaving around the shoulder, with a similar design running a stripe up the length of the sleeve. The skirt was wool in a primarily red plaid pattern with blues, greens, and yellows mixed in. The apron was large and white linen as well, it covered most of the front of the skirt only stoping a hands width from the hem. It had bobbin lace along the bottom hem as well as geometric patterns that matched the blouse’s just above the lace. The juosta was a pale yellow with blue borders.
The bodice she chose was fairly simple, navy blue wool with bias tape that matched her jousta. The sides ended just below her natural waist, while the front extended further in a swoop. It fastened down the front with a chain laced through metal hooks. The chain had small flower charms on the end.
She checked herself over in the mirror. Everything seemed in place, so she grabbed the canvas ‘blanket’ she had set aside and headed downstairs.
‘Woah! You are very dressed up,’ Tamsus said. He then made note of the blanket in her hands, ‘where are you going?’
«I need to be much better aligned if I want to be able to have good results tonight. I’m going to the woods, it works better and faster for me there.»
‘Ah. Okay. I am almost done prepping, would you like me to join you once I am done?’
«Nah, it’s fine, just rest. Come get me five minutes before the call.»
Aušra put on some slippers and headed to her backyard where she’d spotted a perfect place previously.
Between 4 large trees she laid out the blanket, each corner facing a cardinal direction. She took off her shoes and stood in the middle facing east. She took a deep breath in, willing her muscles to relax on the exhale, and repeated. Once she felt most of the tension leave her body, she sat down, staying as centered on the blanket as possible.
There were different ‘levels of intensity’ that one could do to align themselves. Today she was planning on the “two-hour-advanced-level-hot-yoga-in-a-sauna” or “remodeling-the-whole-house-knocking-down-the-walls” kind of intensity rather than the typical everyday “light-stretching-then-some-quick-meditation” or “just-doing-a-quick-tidy-up-before-company-comes-over” kind of intensity.
Aligning was a little different from person to person but typically happened in two steps, filling, then balancing.
Aušra closed her eyes and pushed out her own aura. She could feel the forest around her. The four trees that surrounded her thrummed when her own jėga pushed past them, eagerly welcoming her as kin. She could feel each of their root systems humming beneath her with vitality. Just as she thought, their root systems intertwined beneath her. She hummed in giddy delight.
Oh, this is gonna be so nice.
She focused on the pulsing energy beneath her, willing it to harmonize with her own jėga. With each passing moment she exerted more control over it, the trees allowing their sister to guide them. Once their jėga was in sync with her own, she started taking even deeper breaths. She timed each inhale with a pulse, allowing her to draw in more than would normally be possible. With each forceful exhale, she pushed out all the negative energy that had been passively accumulating in her.
Minutes passed with her focusing on nothing other than purging the negative and replacing and replenishing the positive jėga. (Negative jėga had its place in certain spells and rituals, but for what she was going to try and accomplish that night she’d need all the positive energy she could muster).
Once she felt completely full she stopped pulling jėga from around her. She sent her deepest thanks to the trees promising to repay them in the future. She felt their presence wrap around her in a way of a hug, before slowly slipping away.
She then pulled her aura in, collapsing it far smaller than it would usually be, until it only covered her. Then, turned her mind inward and began the process of balancing and distributing all the jėga that she had just absorbed (which was, at present, just sort of floating around haphazardly inside her). Slowly, and with the upmost care, she maneuvered the untethered jėga around her body anchoring it at specific points to be pulled from later. Ensuring that each place was properly balanced in its energy with the others.
When completed, she sat there just meditating for the few minutes remaining until Tamsus came out to get her. Then she rolled up her runic blanket and headed back inside.
She felt amazing. She needed to do this more often.
———•<•>•———
Emmett and Edward were in a tree by Aušra’s house. They weren’t close by any means —they were well outside of the property line— but they did have a pretty good view of the house.
They had raced here after school to see if they could gather any information on the new girl. Well, Edward wanted info on the new girl. Emmett was here mostly for spy fun and in case she happened to be some badass Slayer, Buffy Summers style.
They had seen her come up the driveway, be greeted by her, quite frankly, concerningly massive dog, then go inside.
…Emmett was going to die of boredom. He’d been sitting here —with Edward brooding on the branch above him— listening to her unpack for nearly two hours! She wasn’t even talking to herself or her dog, or even listening to music! Just unpacking in complete silence! (Which Emmett thought was a bit psychopathic). Espionage was supposed to be fun!
He’d stopped really paying attention about 30 minutes in. And after Eddie boy snapped at him for the tenth time he’d stopped trying to annoy him into leaving. Edward had barely let his eyes leave her house. Emmett was worried for his brother’s sanity, but only a little though.
In a desperate attempt to entertain himself, Emmett had —for the past 40 minutes— been throwing pine needles at the branch he was sitting on, trying to see if he could drive one through it like a tornado could do with a piece of straw. He hadn’t been able to get the needle to penetrate yet (without it shredding into thousands of pieces) but he knew he had to be getting close. After three more tries he heard an exasperated groan from the branch above him.
“You know you can just go home right?”Edward’s voice was strained and clipped.
“Well, then, you’d need to go home too. I’m not leaving you here alone Eds.” He climbed up to be on a branch level with his brother.
“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”
Emmett opened his mouth to respond, but apparently his thoughts had beat him to it.
Edward’s head dropped back, “she is not going to be a Slayer like from Buffy the Vampire Slayer!” he groaned, clearly over everything.
“Firstly, you don’t know that, since, You. Can’t. Read. Her. Mind,” he gave him a pointed look, daring Eds to challenge him. (Emmett might not be smart compared to his siblings but for what he lacked in book-smarts he more than made up for in reading people, and something had really thrown his brother for a loop when Aušra had walked by their table at the end of lunch. Emmett was pretty sure it was because Edward got something from the girl but just didn’t want to say what). “And that’s not the only reason I’m not leaving you alone here.”
Edward’s brow furrowed, “…creepy?! You think I’m being creepy?! Emmett, this girl could be a threat to our family’s lives.”
Emmett responded with the facial equivalent of a shrug, “Listen, I’m just saying bro… You’re the who’s been perched in a tree for like, two hours, outside the home of a 16 year old girl —who lives alone, I might add— listening to her—” Emmett paused, focusing on the noises coming from inside the house “—listening to her shower. That’s like peak creeper behavior, dude! So yeah, I’m not leaving you here alone with her.”
“What do you think I’m going to do Emmett? Huh? Rip her to shreds? Drain her dry? —I’m not Jasper !” The grimace was immediate as the words passed his lips.
Emmett’s eyes blew wide, mouth slack in shock. His mouth opened and closed a few times at a loss for words to accurately describe his mortification at his brother’s outburst. “Wow, Eds… just, WOW!…,” was all he could get out at first, “you know he’s had the hardest life out of all of us! And he’s been doing really good too! He hasn’t had a slip up in decades. Also, it’s not our place to judge him.”
Edward’s head hung forward, “I know… I know… that’s–you know that’s not how I meant it…”
Before Emmett could further chastise his little-big-brother their attention was drawn back to the house, with the sound of a door opening.
They saw Aušra walk out her back door with a blanket under her arm.
Why’s she wearing that? She looks like a matryoshka.
Edward turned to him, an incredulous look plastered across his face.
“What?” Emmett asked when Edward said nothing.
“Matryoshka?”
“Yeah. Ya know, it’s those Russian dolls that a have more dolls inside? They’re usually painted like women?”
“I know what a matryoshka is!” Edward hissed, “I’m just surprised you know what it’s called.”
“Of course I do ,” Emmett waved a hand in dismissal, “but seriously though, why is she dressed like that?”
They turned back to Aušra, she was currently arranging her blanket on the forest floor with great concentration.
“Why would I know that Emmett?”
Emmett shrugged, then they lapsed back into silence.
Emmett was hoping that now she was outside that something interesting was going to happen but she was just…sitting there…
ugh…Of course nothing interesting is going to happen! She’s just a normal teenage girl!
He focused his thoughts to be as loud as possible as he pointedly looked at his brother. Edward scowled and let out a low growl.
Emmett scowled and went back to trying to put a pine needle through the branch.
———•<•>•———
Jasper had been sent to collect his brothers from their self-imposed ‘mission’.
He leapt and landed silently on a branch above them. Emmett gave him a smile and short wave before going back to what he was doing. Edward didn’t acknowledge him other than a brief glance.
“How’s reconnaissance goin’?” Jasper asked. Though, if the tidal waves of boredom crashing into Emmett or the barely suppressed frustration threatening to strangle Edward were any indication, it wasn’t good.
“It’s going great.” Emmett said, sarcasm dripping from every word, “We listened her unpack for two hours, then shower, and now she’s been meditating for the past… 15-20 minutes?”
“Sounds… eventful. ” Jasper replied with a wry smile. “Why are y’all still here then?”
Emmett looked at Edward with a mischievous expression, “Creepo over here still believes she’s a threat.”
A wave of irritation erupted from Edward.
“I told you that you don’t have to stay with me.” he said through gritted teeth.
“And I told you that I’m not leaving you alone here,” Emmett retorted.
“ I am not —” Edward growled then took a deep breath, “I’m not going to hurt her . I just want to make sure she’s not a threat to us. ”
Jasper could feel that Edward wasn’t telling them the whole truth about the latter half of his sentence but he wasn’t gonna push it. He’s not trying to add wood to this fire.
Emmett apparently had a different idea, “Pah-lease! Don’t lie to us —or yourself— Eds. We all know that this is because your gift doesn’t work on her. You’re scared of what you don’t understand, and that’s her. Jasper’s the only one that actually talked to her today, so what do you think Jazz? Is she a threat?”
Both brothers turned to look at him.
Jasper thought for a moment, “can’t say for sure but ‘s unlikely… She was a little uncomfortable and a bit confused when we were talkin’ but she seemed pretty intent on ignoring me for most of the class. Didn’t pick up on any malice or hatred or anything like that.”
“See! Not a threat! —”
Edward cut him off, “But you and Rosalie said she was asking questions about us!”
“Nothing more than the usual questions! She was mostly just curious about why the whole school treats us like it does. And then asked Angela what she thought of us, and Angela just said she thought we were nice and probably didn’t wanna make friends because we move so often! Which I’m sure you gleaned that from mine and Rose’s minds!”
“That doesn’t mean—”
Emmett cut him off this time, for how upset he was he was doing a very good job at keeping his voice down, “No, Eds. Just no. You’re just freaking out because she’s the different one for once. You’re trying to make yourself feel better by ‘being proactive’ —or whatever— but you’re not. You’re just being creepy, Edward. Plain and simple.”
Edward’s irritation rose. Jasper cut them off before they could start arguing again, “boys!… please, Esme sent me to come get y’all, okay? There’s gonna be a family meetin’ when Carlisle gets home. So, y’all’re gonna shut your mouths and get your asses back to the house. Got it?” His tone brooked no argument.
“What about you? You’re not coming?” Edward asked, suspicion coloring his words.
“I will be following you soon after. Alice wanted me to do something for her.”
Emmett got up and left with no argument. Edward however, looked at his brother with apprehension. Jasper just held his gaze, quirking up an eyebrow in silent challenge. Edward narrowed his eyes studying Jasper, then finally he relented, following after Emmett.
Jasper studied the girl in front of him —well several hundred feet away. What was he supposed to do? Alice had finally —barely— been able to get a vision on the girl. But it was more abstract and fragmented than typical. She said it was all so cryptic, that all she knew is that ‘it’d be a good idea for you to stick around after Emmett and Edward leave.’
So he watched her. He thought it a bit odd that a 16 year old girl was meditating in her backyard in what seemed like… a folk costume of some sort? But who was he to judge? It seemed to be doing something for her. Her emotions were much more stable now than they were at school.
In fact, now that he was fully paying attention to her —and no longer had his brothers’ turbulent emotions distracting him— her emotions caught him off guard.
Her focus was honed with precision but that was nothing compared with her calm.
God! Her calm!
He had never quite felt anything like it. It was like a lake of pure serenity inside her. And with every breath she took she seemed to sink deeper into it. Like she was breathing in the tranquility of the forest straight into her bones. He had never felt an emotion penetrate that deep other than maybe rage or fear, but with peace?
Never .
He was entranced by her. Or more by the emotion surrounding her. This had to be some kind of trick. It had to be…right? He needed to get closer.
Carefully, Jasper maneuvered himself closer to her. Still not close —he wasn’t that entranced— he was outside of what he believed was the property line. Where he’d still be hidden from her view (that is, if her eyes were actually open).
Hell!
Her calm was even more prominent from here! He idly wondered if someone without his ability would be able to feel it, that’s how potent it was. He could feel it seeping into him and he greedily let his body soak up all it could like a sponge.
Jasper was not one to make friends with humans, it was too emotionally taxing on him when it came time to leave them behind. He was not one to feel things by halves, and friendship was no exception. He did not consider people to be his friends lightly but when he did, he would go —had gone— to hell and back for them. Jasper was a Ride-or-Die kind of bitch and there were no two ways about it. And he was not one to put in that effort and open himself up like that, to something that would just end in heartbreak.
Not to mention the risk to his family’s welfare or the risk to the human’s life itself. (Jasper knew what the others thought of him, he knew he had the worst control of his thirst out of them all. It frustrated him to no end, that he’d been on this diet for neigh-on half a century and he still struggled with his thirst more than he should —or at least more than he thought he should.)
(Yes, he had made considerable progress. And yes, he had more control now than ever. Hell, he could even be in a crowded room full of beating hearts and warm bodies and not have the uncontrollable urge to drain one of them. Which was leagues better than where he had been 25 years ago. But, he was also a man who was used to having incredible control over everything he feasibly could, so it pissed him off that he could still not fully control his bloodlust. He trusted himself in normal circumstances, but life had a funny (read: annoying) way of testing him).
So, yeah, Jasper had his reasons to not make friends with humans. But some little voice inside him wondered if the pain of the eventual separation would be worth it just to know this girl… He had to know how she did that. How could she conjure up so much peace? Especially if all of her relatives were dead, semi-recently. (Edward had gleaned some of her story from the minds of other students.) She felt so stable and unmovable. It was awe inspiring.
Jasper had, of course, tried meditation before —anything to try to keep him from losing his mind with the cacophony of emotions that battered him daily— but he had never been able to achieve anything near her level of serenity and contentment. He took a tentative sniff, just like before, her blood didn’t smell good to him (it didn’t smell bad by any means, just didn’t make him thirsty).
Maybe she could teach me? If nothing else I could bask in her calming presence while she meditated. Surely that couldn’t hurt anything? Right?
NO!
No. You stop that right now. We are not goin’ there.
He snapped himself out of that train wreck of a thought.
He realized he had moved even closer to her while lost in thought.
Shit.
He was still a reasonable distance away so he wasn’t too worried about it.
He couldn’t stop thinking about the emotions so freely pouring out from her. The way they wrapped around him so gently, so comfortingly. He could feel them seeping into century-old wounds soothing them with their tranquility. If he could cry he’s sure he’d be weeping with relief.
God! This is better than Esme’s hugs!
He felt guilty for thinking that, but couldn’t refute the truth of it. With all her motherly affection and care, Esme couldn’t hold a candle to the absolute bonfire before him.
Maybe this is what Alice’s vision had been about? Maybe he was meant to be here, to feel this. Maybe, he was meant to befriend—
NO!
What the hell is wrong with me?
He put distance between him and Aušra.
He felt her intense focus start to fade and some regular emotions come back. Anticipation, anxiety (like the kind students would often get before a test), determination, and a well-placed confidence were the most prevalent, though they were still dwarfed by the overwhelming serenity that emanated out from her.
Even though she seemed done with her meditation she still sat there. She was moving more now. That brought to his attention that —other than her breathing— she had been barely moving at all. At least much, much less than was typical of a person sitting. The little flexes of muscles that humans don’t even think about or recognize that they or others are doing had been missing from her.
That’s another weird thing to the ever-growing list.
He sat there observing her for a short while longer. As he was at her back he couldn’t see her face, so he was mostly just sorting through her gentle emotions.
He heard the sound of a door handle turning and a door opening.
I thought she lived alone?
His eyes went wide when an absurdly large, alarmingly black dog —or at least canid— stepped onto the back porch.
That , is a BIG. DOG.
The dog leapt down the steps and padded over to Aušra. She got up and folded the blanket she had been sitting on and turned to her house.
He could see her face now, and he was struck —for the fourth time that day— that he knew Aušra. He could no longer rationalize it as her just having a weirdly familiar face. No, he knew this girl, but for the life of him —or undeath of him?— he could not figure out from what. How is it possible for a vampire to forget? He’d have to ask Carlisle if he knew what could cause such a thing.
Speaking of, Carlisle is going to be home soon and I need to be back before he is.
He turned, pausing to look back as she made it to the porch. He didn’t think she was a threat but, he could not deny that some strange things were happening with this girl. Though, he felt an odd sense of loss when she disappeared behind the door. He shook his head like a dog, trying to dislodge the feeling, then headed home. Trying to rein in his thoughts on the way back. (He didn’t need Edward knowing what he’d been thinking). Though, he idly wondered if she’d still feel that peaceful tomorrow.
———•<•>•———
Aurelia was laughing. Hard. At her,not with her —mind you. She had been for the past few minutes. Every time she seemed to be gaining back her composure, she’d look at Aušra and lapse back into a giggle fit.
Aušra just stared at her —trying her best to hide her own amusement at her friend’s loss of control— through the crystal, waiting for her to finally compose herself.
She finally did, wiping tears from her eyes.
“Whoo… heh…vampires… sorry that’s —that’s just too funny surată…” Aurelia let out a few soft huffs of laughter before taking a deep breath to stabilize herself.
*(sister/friend)*
“It’s not funny, Aurelia. This is serious! You’re laughing at my suffering!” Aušra shrieked, feigning affront. She dramatically pressed the back her hand to her forehead, “My life could very well be in jeopardy, and you’re mocking my plight!” She could not keep a straight face for long, a large smile encroaching on it.
“Serves you right.” Aurelia’s smile was smug and held a silent challenge.
Not one to disappoint, Aušra rose to the provocation. “Hey I divined this spot! You should be proud of me!”
Aurelia closed her eyes and let out a long-suffering sigh, “I have found that your…divination practices —in this case, anyways— are not very, uh… traditional…” she spoke carefully, trying to hide her annoyance —she knew where this conversation was going.
“While maybe not ‘traditional’, my Divination Dart has never steered me wrong before.” she replied with all the self-satisfaction of someone who knew exactly what kind of rise her words would inspire.
Aurelia’s eye twitched. “Divination dar— AUGH! Aušra! Throwing a dart at a map to choose where you’ll move next, does not count as divination magic!” she responded, her frustration evident.
Aušra barely trying to hide her amusement, shot back, “Oh! And I suppose double dead bolting your doors and constantly burning incense counts as warding magic?”
Aurelia’s eyes went wide, lips tight —the face of someone whose secret had been exposed.
“I didn’t know you knew about that…”
“Yes, I know about that, and no, I’m not gonna tell you how.”
Aurelia narrowed her eyes, but there was a shimmer of amusement there, “Truce?”
“Truce.” Aušra agreed (not that they were actually fighting).
“Okay…so what did you actually want to talk about?”
“Well, two things, firstly I need your help and expertise doing a divination spell. I need to know more about them. Just in general, if I’m going to living in the same town as a coven of ‘domestic’ vampires I need more knowledge about them. Knowledge they aren’t likely to give up if they think I’m just a human.—”
Her friend quirked an eyebrow.
“—Which brings me to my second ‘question’. You have more experience in vampire-witch relationship politics than I do. I’m not quite sure how this is supposed to play out, ‘legally’ speaking, that is. I know typically I would be responsible for anything that happens within my broader territory —which they are in. But I’m not sure how exactly that works with a ‘domestic’ Coven —especially because they were in the territory before me— let alone one of their size —which is seven by the way—” Aurelia gave her a look of pure shock, “—I know right!? Like I said, I don’t even know how the statutes would apply here. They don’t seem to know what I am. So would they even know that they’d have to defer to my Natural Governance over them, lest they ‘face my wrath’? I’ve already killed too many vampires in my lifetime. I really don’t want to have to kill a whole Coven of vampires. Especially if they’re not really causing issues other than being annoying. I don’t want to make any decisions without knowing what everything entails.”
Aurelia sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. “Well… I can definitely help you with the first one tonight. But I’m also not exactly sure about how the politics would play out in your case… Usually with vampires, they’re expected to know if any witches are in the territory they’re passing through and then introduce themselves and ask permission to pass through or preside in their territory…But that’s nomadic vampires. Also that’s in Europe and Eurasia where witches are more common. It wouldn’t shock me if these vampires didn’t even know about the existence of witches, or the rules of ‘governance’ we have over them —depending on how old they are, of course.
“I really don’t know Aušra. I’ll have to do some research, check some of sources, reach out to some acquaintances —you know the deal. See if there’s any precedents in place for your kind of situation.”
Aušra nodded, “If you had to give me your best educated guess what would you say? If I ‘revealed’ myself to them —or they found out by other means— would I have to take my Natural Governance? Or would it be my choice? I have my own thoughts about it but I want your educated opinion.”
Aurelia let out a long sigh, then paused in thought. The silence was torture, Aušra really didn’t want to take her Natural Governance —she disliked that term, just because her predecessors created vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters, etc… why did that now put her higher on the pecking order than them, let alone being in charge of them— over random group of vampires she didn’t know.
Finally Aurelia broke the silence, “If I had to guess, I’d say that if you introduced yourself to them as what you are, you’d probably be expected to take your Natural Governance over them, and who knows how they’ll react to that. If they’re ancient—which I highly doubt— they’ll probably not be happy about submitting to ‘someone so much younger,’ but would probably do it because it’s traditional. The older ones —three to six hundred— tend to be the most amenable to the idea because witches were more around during ‘their time’ so they’re much more likely to have interacted with them. And you’re not so much younger than them to be considered ‘beneath them’.” They both rolled their eyes, thinking of the same person.
She continued, “If they’re younger —less than 200— there’s a lot less of us around now so they probably wouldn’t be used to the idea or even know about it, so I doubt they’d be happy about it. Also they tend to be cockier and believe in their own powers over ours, having likely never interacted with a hostile witch.
“And if they refused you, you would be in your rights to kick them out or kill them —in fact, it’d be expected. However, if they accepted it, you would have more power over them than the Volturi,” Aurelia scowled as the name left her lips. She let out a huff before continuing, “the Bastards would have no real say over them while they’re living in your territory, which to me would be a great incentive. But that also means you’d be completely responsible for any dumb shit they might pull. Which means you would be the one to decide and carry out any punishments necessary. And it would be necessary to do some sort of punishment for breaking the Volturi’s laws. If you decided to impose any laws you could decide to not enforce them. Though I would advise against that.”
“I mean yeah, I knew that , I’ve been in covens that were in charge of vampires before — you were there . I’ve just never been the one in charge. Nor were any of the vampires we dealt with sedentary —domestic?— whatever we’re calling them. I don’t want to impose my Natural Governance on them. I’d really prefer to not have that kind of responsibility. I just don’t know how it works, like am I required to because I know about them?”
“Nothing like that, I think. But if you ended up taking your Natural Governance the Volturi would be able to open an inquisition into you. Though, considering your age, powers, and reputation in the community, I doubt they could put up any real fight over it. With either identity.”
“Even if they did, I’m sure Misha would fight them on it,” Aušra joked.
“Yes I’m sure you’re right,” Aurelia agreed, then changed the subject, “do you have any idea what kind of divination spell you want to do?”
“Not really, no. As you very well know, it’s by far my weakest discipline of the magics since like 90% of the spells require going astral… and you know how much I dislike doing that. Hence the…” Aušra gestured vaguely to her outfit.
Aušra hated being astral, it made her nauseous. And it made her extremely anxious. There were too many ways it could go wrong, especially if you’re inexperienced (which she most certainly was). And if things went wrong you could be stuck there forever unable to get back to your body. It was one of the only times a witch —as old as she was— was susceptible to actual death.
Aurelia snorted. “Yes, I have very detailed firsthand experience at how weak your divination is, and your aversion to the astral plane,” she said fondly. “I was wondering why you were so dressed up.”
Aušra ducked her head in a sheepish gesture, “yeah…well, you know… it’s easier to do spells you’re unfamiliar with when you feel safe. Since this house is so new to me and I still haven’t gotten up any wards yet, I figured I’d need all the help I can get. This outfit is comforting in its familiarity. Ya’ know?”
“I’m not judging you surată. I completely understand. Do you feel aligned enough though?”
“I know you’re not judging me. I just feel silly that I need it to do something that should be well within my powers to do without it…” shifting the mood to something happier she continued, “Oh my gosh, yes! I did a really intense session before this and it was so nice. I used the runic blanket I made up for situations like that and it worked so well! I barely had to work to get the jėga flowing properly within me. I did like a complete realignment in less than 30 minutes! I hadn’t even really noticed how unaligned I had actually gotten in the past month with the move. I’ve barely had time to do basic realignments, let alone something substantial. I feel amazing! I think I’m going to do it weekly now.”
Aurelia teased, “Crazy how when you take care of yourself you feel better, right?”
“Yes! Who would’ve thought it? Not me , that’s for certain.”
“I’m glad you had a nice aligning session, now let’s get to that spell. Are you wanting to look to the future?”
“No, nothing as complicated as that. I just need more information on them. I can’t let them have the upper hand. They were attempting to gather information about me earlier. I think.”
“Oh? And what makes you say that?” she said in a teasing tone.
“Oh, Tamsus smelled them —or who I presume was them— outside the house when he came out to get me after my alignment.”
All the mirth dropped from Aurelia’s face and voice being replaced with serious concern, “wait seriously? Why would they be doing that? Was it all of them? Is there something you aren’t you telling me? Are you gonna be okay?”
“I’ll be fine, I’ve taken on and defeated many vampires before. And besides, I doubt they are actually planning on doing something. Especially day one.”
“But why are they spying on you in the first place??” Worry twisted her features.
“If I had to wager I’d say it was likely just the boys of the group, that’d be Jasper, Emmett, and Edward. And you know I’m not a gambling woman—” Aušra said dramatically. Aurelia rolled her eyes. “—but if I had to wager even further, I would bet it was Edward’s idea.”
“And why would you say that? Hmm?” she asked with knowing in her tone.
“I think he’s used to things going his way and doesn’t like that he can’t read my mind,” she paused then added quickly, mumbling slightly, “and maybe because I kinda provoked him at lunch by calling him a ‘loser’ in my mind and letting him only hear that…” she pointedly was looking anywhere but the crystal Aurelia’s visage was in.
Instead of the harsh reprimand she expected, all she got from her sesuo was her exasperated sigh. “Why are you like this?…”
*sister*
Aušra snorted, “don’t deny an old woman her pleasures, young lady.” She snickered at Aurelia’s groan. “Gotta have some way to keep myself feeling young and sane!”
“…it’s debatable whether you’re sane,” Aurelia mumbled, then turned the conversation back to the topic at hand, “so… you just want information? What kind of information? Do you want to go digging around in their pasts?”
“Perhaps later, if it proves necessary —and if it does I would love your help for that too— but for now I think I just want to know what’s going on with them?”
“And just what am I supposed to be getting out of all these times I’m going to help you… hmmm?”
Aušra knew she was being facetious about wanting something in return, but she was very appreciative of Aurelia’s current help and future research on her behalf, so she offered something seriously in return. “How ‘bout…when you next move —‘cause I know that’s coming up soon— I’ll come and help you choose a good property and when you move in, me and Tamsus will come over for a weekend and ward it for you?”
“Deal! No take-backsies,” she had a huge smile on her face. Aurelia paused for a moment in thought before continuing, “okay, I think a ‘Fly-on-the-wall’ type of spell would probably work best for what you want to accomplish. Have you ever done one of those?”
Aušra shook her head.
Aurelia explained what the spell entailed, and what components would be required.
When the spell was chosen, all necessary spell components were assembled. With Aurelia’s guidance Aušra made quick work of the placement of the components to amplify their combined powers and better channel their jėga.
Once set up was complete, Aurelia asked one final question, “do you have something of theirs that will guide us to them?”
“Not an object but I know what one of their jėgos feels like, I can use that instead, right?”
Aurelia nodded but gave her a questioning look of curiosity, as if to say ‘we’re going to talk about that later’.
Both laid supine on the ground, palms pressed to the floor. They first gathered their magic to their minds. Then both simultaneously pulled it out and poured it into the crystal which they were using as a conduit. Their consciousnesses were eventually pulled along with it.
Once astral, it took a moment for Aušra to orient herself. She then focused on the distinct feeling of Jasper’s jėga. Emitting invisible tendrils, like creeping vines she searched for the essence of him in the void.
It took a few tries but she finally found it. Latching onto to his soul —because they did have souls (one of the reasons some argued against them being undead)— she tethered herself to it allowing Aurelia to find it as well.
Aurelia then pulled, bringing them closer and closer to the source, Aušra bit back her nausea from the sensation (not that you could actually throw up while astral but you could definitely do it after). Finally their vision cleared and into focus came a house.
Notes:
Woo! That was a lot! Hope it wasn’t hard to read through😬
More Cullens next chapter! I wonder what she’ll find out?
Also, I tried to describe it as best as I could but if you’re like me and have issues with picturing things in your mind and want to have a clearer idea what Aušra was wearing here’s the blog I got my information and inspiration from! They seem very well researched on the subject
If you just want the exact picture I was using for reference here’s a link the main difference is she’s not wearing the ‘karuna’ or crown. And her bodice is not velvet.Emmett is a favorite of mine (other than Jasper) and I believe he’s just as smart as the others he just doesn’t care and enjoys playing the “dumb jock” stereotype. I enjoy the weirdly insightful himbo type so that’s what he’s gonna be. And someone needed to call out eddy-boy as a creep.
My man Jasper is so confused about his “interaction” with Aušra. With all the crazy emotions he’s put through on a daily basis with high schoolers and his siblings man deserves some calm. And he might just have to attempt the friends thing to get it.
Chapter 4: Keeping up with the Kullens
Summary:
Aušra spies on the Cullens and gets some interesting information
Notes:
Phew! This is another dialogue heavy charter! I don’t know why I’m doing this to myself.
The Chapter Name has been in my head since I started this thing, I’m sorry. I don’t even watch TV let alone the Kardashians gross. But it’s been a brain worm so I had to do it or it’d be the name of the Fic which was not happening. Lol
Fun fact!: for some reason I kept mistyping Carlisle’s name, like repeatedly, so often in fact that I just ended up just making a typing shortcut for it as ‘Carl’ lol. Every time I’d write his name I’d giggle to myself. Carl Cullen. Idk why thats so funny to me.
CW: anxiety/ptsd attack. It’s not particularly graphic or long but it’s segmented off by ****
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The whole household was in the living room waiting for Carlisle’s return from work. No one was speaking. Jasper could feel the tension building in the air. The anxiety was thick and nearly suffocating. He wasn’t sure what the meeting was for (though he could hazard a guess —cough, cough, Edward).
Edward had the most anxiety —along with a good dose of paranoia— wafting out from him. He had never seen his little brother so high strung before. This situation was really getting to him and it was only their first day knowing the girl. Would he keep getting worse the longer the situation progressed? He saw Edward scowl at his thoughts.
Rosalie was mostly irritated but he could feel the affection and comfort that was always in the background when Emmett was around.
Emmett seemed mostly resigned but less in the typical fashion and more in the ‘this was expected and might as well happen’ kind of way that his brother usually took things. That was one of the many things he appreciated about him, his emotions were usually very pleasant, perhaps a bit on the intense side, but pleasant nonetheless.
Alice was doing okay. Better than Edward, that’s to be sure, but not great . She was at least composing herself more. Jasper was sitting on the floor in front of where she was sitting on the couch. Bursts of insecurity and uselessness were emanating from her.
She was trying to keep herself calm. She had already braided Esme’s and Rose’s hair and was now working on his. She had actually braided it multiple times, always undoing it when finished so she could do a different style.
Jasper leaned his head all the way back onto her crossed legs so he could see her face. Neither really needed to speak, they had spent so much time together they could have whole conversations with just looks. (It also helped that he could feel her emotions.)
She looked down at him and furrowed her eyebrows in question (What’s wrong?). He returned this with a curious look (Checkin’ in on ya). She pursed her lips then shrugged a little (I’m as good as I can be in this situation). He could feel her anxiety building. She was taking out the braid she was doing even though she wasn’t even half done with it. Jasper reached up and gently grabbed her wrist, when she met his eyes again, he gave an inquiring look (do ya want some help with that?). Her head teetered from side to side while she nodded slightly, then gave him a small hopeful smile (maybe a little…if you wouldn’t mind). With a smile he dipped his head almost as if he was tipping a hat (it’d be my pleasure).
With permission acquired, he started pushing calm and peace into her, but he didn’t take any of her insecurities away, she didn’t like when he did that. He continued until she squeezed his hand twice, indicating she was good. He picked his head back up and she resumed her braiding.
“Alice?” Esme softly called; when Alice turned she continued, “how long until Carlisle gets home?”
His sister paused for a couple of seconds, “four minutes if he stops to move the turtle. Two if he goes around.” Then she resumed braiding.
Esme smiled, “thank you, dear.”
Carlisle was home in 4 minutes.
Everyone waited while he put his things away, then joined them in the living room. He sat down next to Esme.
“So…who wishes to tell me what this family meeting is for?”
Jasper felt the surprise and confusion from all his siblings (sans Edward). They obviously (like himself) assumed Carlisle had been the one to call for the meeting.
Esme placed her hand on her husband’s, “There was a new girl at their school today.—” Carlisle’s eyebrows drew together, confusion lightly trickling out from him.
She continued, carefully choosing her words, “she seems to be unusual, and it has been causing them some distress. Which, in turn, has caused some… unacceptable behaviors.”
Carlisle nodded slowly but the confusion grew stronger. Looked at all his children, eventually landing on Edward.
“Neither mine nor Alice’s gifts work on her,” his brother said plainly, trying to keep the displeasure out of his voice. Jasper could sense the contempt he had and also the slight dishonesty of his statement (specifically the part about his powers not working on her).
What are you keeping from us brother?
Edward ignored him.
“I can see how that would be distressing,” their patriarch replied, “but I still do not see the larger issue where Esme felt the need to call me at work to make sure I would be home on time for a family meeting?” he prodded further.
“I would assume that was because Edward thought it’d be a good idea to follow her home, then stay there and watch her for two hours.” Rosalie snapped, ripping off the proverbial bandaid.
Jasper had to give credit to Carlisle, he had one hell of a poker face. Even as shock and confusion (and some disappointment) slammed into him, his face and tone hardly changed, “is this true Edward?”
Edward shrunk in on himself, “yes…”
“I was there too,” Emmett added, “wanted to keep Eds out of trouble.”
“Thank you for telling me,” he responded genuinely. Finding out Emmett had went with Edward barely shocked Carlisle at all. “That is very unlike you, Edward—” Rosalie scoffed and he felt her indignation like a slap to the face. Carlisle, though he acknowledged Rosalie’s ‘outburst’ with a subtle nod, said nothing to her. Which was a smart move as she was feeling very combative at the moment.
“What was the purpose of you going there Edward?”
Edward ruminated on this for a moment before speaking, “she had stared us down at the beginning of lunch —which she had a very hostile expression for by the way. When neither mine nor Alice’s gifts worked on her, we asked Jasper if he could tell what she was feeling, he said he could.” Jasper realized that his brother hadn’t been deceptive this time about his gift not working, he filed that away for further examination. Edward eyed him but continued his explanation, “and then Jasper said that she was standoffish and suspicious of him in their class together—”
“Not overly so, and it was gone by the end of it. And might I add, I told y’all when ya asked, she may have looked angry at lunch but I wasn’t gettin’ any violent or malicious emotions from her. The worst ‘negative’ emotion she had was that of exasperation or annoyance.” Jasper interjected. He could feel Edward’s displeasure at his defense of Aušra.
Carlisle nodded then turned back to Edward to allow him to finish his story. He continued “—then after school I found out from Emmett and Rosalie that she’d been asking more questions about us, so I got suspicious and decided to follow her to make sure she wasn’t a threat.”
Rosalie scoffed, “Edward, you know that everyone asks questions about us. The questions she asked weren’t even personal! It was just normal curiosity! And she never returned to the subject of us after her first round of questions. Emmett’s right, you just did it because you’re paranoid and your ego’s been hurt because your gift isn’t working on her!”
“That’s not true—“
Carlisle raised his hand, cutting Edward off, “Please, can we keep from arguing with each other?” He paused waiting for their agreement —which Rosalie adamantly did not want to do — then continued, “do we happen to know her name?”
“It’s Aušra, didn’t get a last name though,” Jasper replied doing his best to pronounce her name clearly.
“Really?” Edward contended, “I heard people calling her ‘Ash’ in their heads.”
“That’s what she introduced herself to me as –Aušra.” Jasper shrugged.
“Why is she giving us a different name than everyone one else? That’s something else suspicious!”
There was a warning growl. It, unsurprisingly, was coming from Rosalie. Her frustration and wrath were at critical levels now. “That’s not suspicious Edward!” His name was spat, dripping with the venom of her fury. “Plenty of people go by nicknames! Maybe people were being assholes about her name’s pronunciation so she gave them something easier instead of fighting them on it! I doubt she’s lying about a name like Aušra to try and conceal her identity or whatever the hell you think she’s doing! Nothing she has said or done has been suspicious!”
“A—” Edward didn’t even get a syllable in before Rosalie stood and raised her voice further to drown him out.
“Done Edward! Key word being DONE! Not things that are happening around her that she likely has no control over! Stop grasping at straws trying to justify your deplorable and frankly sinister actions. There is no justification for creeping a 16 year old girl!” She turned to Carlisle and Esme, no longer yelling, but voice still strained with barely contained fury asked, “can I be dismissed? I cannot sit and be civil with him while he continues to act like a prick.”
Esme raised an eyebrow at her language, but still replied, “of course dear, we’ll come talk to you later.”
With that, Rosalie turned on her heel and left for the garage.
After a few (too long) moments Emmett awkwardly spoke up, “I, uh —I should probably go with her… if that’s okay?”
Carlisle nodded once and Emmett got up to follow after his wife. There was more silence.
“So, Aušra… that’s different. Do you know where she’s from?” Carlisle asked, trying to clear the uncomfortable tension.
“She said she’s from Lithuania,” Jasper replied.
Carlisle had a thoughtful look, “Interesting… Alice you’ve been uncharacteristically quiet since I got home, is something wrong?”
Jasper could feel the shame starting to rise in his sister so pushed her some support and encouragement, she patted his head.
“I—I don’t know…” her voice was quiet and forlorn, a stark difference to her usual jovial tone. She inhaled shakily, “anytime I tried using my gift on her, instead of seeing anything, it’d be like static on a tv screen. Then, it’d feel like someone was was trying to blind me with a really bright light… I even had spots in my vision for a little bit after… if—“ her distress and panic were rising, she gasped, it was nearly a sob. Jasper reached his hand up which she greedily snatched up between her own, squeezing it. She took another shaky deep breath, then continued, “and if I continued to try… I’d get a really intense burning sensation behind my eyes…” she let out another half sob, “the only time I was able to get anything was right before Esme sent Jasper to get Emmett and Edward and even then it wasn’t like I usually get. It was more of an impression than a vision…” if Alice still had the ability to shed tears Jasper was sure she would’ve been soaked with them by now. The pain and distress this had caused her in the moment was immense, and she was partially reliving it now. He squeezed her hand and passed onto her some loving reassurance.
Carlisle sat stunned in silence for a few seconds, looking into the distance, thinking —which for a vampire that may as well have been a few minutes. Jasper could feel his paternal concern and anguish at his daughter’s distress, “that is very distressing… I’m so sorry you went through that Alice…” he paused then looked back at Alice, “until we know what’s going on, will you promise me to not put yourself through that again?”
“But what if—” she started to protest until Carlisle raised his hand.
“There is no need to be hurting yourself on our account. Whatever the case, it is not worth any pain you’d have to endure for it. Please promise me that you won’t?” His tone truly was pleading.
Alice nodded her head and quietly conceded, even though Jasper could feel how much she didn’t want to. Alice, like himself, felt the need to always be useful.
“Thank you sweetheart,” Carlisle responded with a soft and sympathetic smile. “Edward did you experience anything similar while trying to read her mind?”
“No, I just couldn’t hear her thoughts in general. And whenever I tried focusing on her thoughts it just felt like I was hitting a brick wall… metaphorically that is.”
Their father hummed in thought “I see…This is all very unusual. I don’t know of anything that would be able to do those things… Did —did she have a particular smell?”
“No, she smelled like a normal human,” Jasper replied, “maybe a little tangy but I think that’s just a part of her normal smell.”
Carlisle turned towards Edward, asking him a silent question.
“I wasn’t close enough to her at any point other than lunch, and there’s too many people to really single anyone out. But based on Jasper’s memory, I agree with him. She didn’t smell like much. Surprisingly though, he didn’t have any issues with her the whole time they were sitting next to each other in class,” Edward responded.
Carlisle eyebrows went up, but it was not surprise that Jasper felt, but pride. It shone from both of his parents, so bright and warm, and just for him. They were looking at him with such love and affection it was overwhelming.
“That’s great sweetheart! I told you, you were getting better, you have to believe in yourself more,” Esme beamed.
“I don’t des—“ Jasper started to protest her praise.
“You do.” Carlisle stated, matter-of-factly. “We all know how hard the transition to vegetarianism has been for you, son.” Jasper’s heart ached warmly from the term. They always said it with so much love and care. “The path has been difficult, but you’ve always persevered. And you need to take credit where credit is due.”
Jasper shied away from the praise, “o-of course, sir,” he replied awkwardly.
Jasper was still not used to getting so much positive reinforcement. Not used to such genuine praise, no ulterior motives. Especially from ‘authority figures.’ All those years with Maria had messed him up —he feared he would never heal. She almost never praised him, when she would praise him, it usually was followed by a reprimand. It was mostly fear of punishment that helped keep him in line. And the punishments? He shuddered from the memories.
****
The bite wounds she inflicted left with venom in them preventing them from healing, leaving them open for days. Made to fight with missing limbs. Made to feel worthless. Torn to shreds and left to put himself back together. Starved for days on end restrained, a human distressed and wounded and bleeding and always just out of reach. Repeatedly burned, just enough to maim and scar.
Open bite wounds. Missing limbs. Feeling worthless. Torn to shreds then left alone. Starving, restrained, relief just out of reach. Repeatedly burned. Maimed. Open bite wounds. Missing limbs. Feeling worthless. Torn to shreds then left alone. Starving, restrained, relief just out of reach. Repeatedly burned. Maimed.
Bite wounds. Limbs. Worthless. Torn apart. Starving, no relief. Burned. Maimed. Bite wounds. Limbs. Worthless. Torn apart. Starving, no relief. Burned. Maimed. Bite wounds. Limbs. Worthless. Torn apart. Starving, no relief. Burned. Maimed. Bite wounds. Limbs. Worthless. Torn apart. Starving, no relief. Burned. Maimed. Bite wounds. Limbs. Worthless. Torn apart. Starving, no —
****
———•<•>•———
Aušra and Aurelia had been watching the Cullen family meeting unfold from a third person perspective on the wall of their living room. They hadn’t been talking, it took Aušra quite a bit of effort to be able to ‘speak’ while astral and she didn’t want to miss anything. They could still see each other, though.
Everything seemed to have been going normal. Edward, as she suspected, had been the one to suggest the spying, the creep. She might have to get him back for that… Jasper and Rosalie had surprisingly defended her. After an outburst —that no one seemed surprised about—Rosalie stormed off to somewhere else in the house with Emmett following after. Alice had talked about what happened when she tried to divine Aušra (Aurelia had given her a look). Jasper spoke about them in class. Then something… unexpected happened.
Carlisle and Esme had praised Jasper for his control, he responded but then he started to get this far away look in his eyes and went silent. He didn’t respond to the others questions. His head lowered until he was staring into his lap.
“Edward?” Carlisle asked.
“Flashback,” Edward replied simply.
“Ah,” He turned towards the small girl on the couch, “Alice?”
Her eyes glazed over, unfocused, “not yet.”
‘Not yet’?
Carlisle just nodded, lips pressed together. A sad and pained expression in his eyes. Esme placed a reassuring hand on his back.
Aušra watched Jasper intensely. His hands were trembling. What could he be having a flashback to?
After a couple of minutes —with her eyes going hazy every so often— Alice maneuvered her way off the couch and crouched in front of him on the floor.
Aušra saw her reach out to touch him. Concern and light panic laced through her.
Uhhhhh….she shouldn’t touch him right??Isn’t that like rule number one for PTSD? Don’t touch them unless asked?… Couldn’t that just trigger him further??
…I guess she is a pre-cog and would be able to see if he’d be fine with it. But that still seems a bit dubious.
She gently placed a hand on his shoulder, his head raised slightly.
“You’re okay Jasper. You’re just having a flashback, it’s not really happening. You’re not really there, you’re safe. You’re on the floor, in the living room, in our house, in Forks, Washington. You’re 159 years old. It’s 2003. Your name is Jasper Hale, not Whitlock. I need you to repeat those things to me, okay?”
Something in Aušra’s brain goes off at the mention of Jasper Whitlock. Something clicks but she just doesn’t know what. It’s like a lightbulb moment, but the lightbulb’s hidden. She knows the information she just got was important. She knows that name means something to her, but when she goes looking for what she comes up empty. She wants to scream in frustration.
It’s gotta be a memory spell. There’s no way it’s not. But who would’ve cast one on me and why? And now that I know about it, how do I get rid of it?
Do I want to get rid of it?
Yes, of course I do! I need to know what’s being hidden from me about this man.
———•<•>•———
There was a small hand on his shoulder. A calm, familiar voice cut through the din of his mind. The world started to come more into focus.
Alice was in front of him. He took a deep breath, “my name is Jasper Hale … I am 159 years old… It is 2003… I am on the floor… in the living room, in our house, in Forks, Washington…” he says haltingly.
“Good, good…Keep going…” Alice softly encouraged.
He kept muttering the phrases over and over to himself while tapping his thumb to his pointer, middle and ring finger.
Pointer, middle, ring. Ring, middle, pointer. Pointer, middle, ring. Ring, middle, pointer. Pointer, middle, ring. Ring, middle, pointer.
After four minutes he felt stable enough to stop.
Alice was still kneeling in front of him, she leaned forward to press her forehead into his. He could feel the tempered pride and affection that she was focusing into him. A small smile crept across his face.
“Thanks,” he whispered.
“No problem Jazzy. Glad you’re back.”
He huffed a small laugh. He made no move to remove his forehead from hers. Craving her grounding contact if only for a few moments more.
When he pulled away, Alice returned to her place behind him on the couch.
“Sorry ‘bout that.”
“There’s no need to apologize Jasper,” Carlisle responded, “is there anything you need?”
“No, I’m fine,” he answered reflexively.
Carlisle looked at him openly, giving him time to recant his previous dismissive answer.
Jasper mulled it over whether or not to allow himself to be more vulnerable than he already was.
Edward didn’t allow him to make that decision as he stated, “he’s hungry.”
Jasper shot his brother a look (along with a hefty dose of his displeasure and some reprimand to top).
“Edward, he was asking Jasper what he needed,” Esme lightly admonished him.
Well, it was already out there, so he might as well just speak up, “I could go for a bite, they—uh —usually leave me feelin’ drained… It couldn’t hurt.”
Alice chirped up behind him, “you shouldn’t be alone, I can go with you!”
“Actually Alice, if ya don’t mind, I’d prefer to have Carlisle go with me this time. That is, if that’s alright with you sir?” Jasper looked at the man. Alice’s disappointment from his rejection of her offer, stabbed him like a hundred needles. He wrapped her in unconditional love and affection. He loved his sister but he needed to talk to Carlisle away from prying ears… and minds.
Carlisle smiled warmly, “of course! Just allow me to change and we can head out.”
———•<•>•———
Aušra and Aurelia followed them into the woods. It wasn’t hard as they were still tethered to Jasper. Since Aušra did not want to be throwing up when she got back to her body, they waited for them to stop moving rather than continuously pulling themselves along. (With normal humans you could just follow them by moving with them, going from high point to high point but vampires running were far too fast for that).
Once Aurelia felt the vampires settle, she pulled them towards Jasper. Aušra was so thankful her sister was here cause she would not have been able to follow them on her own. (At least not without vomiting later).
They ‘appeared’ in a small clearing in the woods. Their perspective seemed to be up about 10ft in a tree. There was a small creek running through the clearing, lush ferns and mosses growing all around. Aušra wished she was there physically so she could feel them under foot.
She was really going to have to explore the woods more. It was one of the reasons she chose the Olympia area when Washington was chosen by her Divination Dart. She loved the forests and waters here, they reminded her of home by Sartai Lake.
She felt sadness lance through her chest remembering that she’d never be able to go home ever again. She swallowed down the emotions that were threatening to release. This was not a new revelation, she had known for a long while that she’d likely never see it again, (other than extremely brief visits). Though she had come to terms with it, it still stung.
She refocused on the scene in front of her. The two vampires were burying the deer carcasses they had just finished draining.
So, that’s what they mean by ‘vegetarian’. Makes sense.
She knew multiple vampires who ‘supplemented’ their diets with animal blood, but none who subsisted on only animal blood. Though she supposed that was no longer true.
(Thankfully, they have the forethought to bury the carcasses .)
They had been silent the entire time since the witches arrived. Aušra hoped they hadn’t had their discussion while they were running. After they had washed off the dirt from their hands in the creek, Carlisle spoke up.
“Would you like to discuss what’s been troubling you now?” he asked.
Aušra studied the man. He looked to be in his early to mid thirties, light blond swept-back hair, golden eyes like the rest of the coven. He was only a bit taller than herself, 5’6”? if she had to guess. He had a very kind face, which seemed to always have a warm and welcoming expression (at least in the time she’d been observing the Cullens —which, to be fair was not long). He was handsome, in general, but so was every vampire. His features were well balanced and though he spoke with an American accent, his features oddly read as northern European to Aušra. She wondered what his true age and ethnicity was.
Jasper finally responded, “uh… yeah, do ya mind if we sit?” He gestured to a large tree nearby.
“Of course.”
They both sat down at the base of the tree, neither man looking at the other. There was more silence; Jasper seemed to be debating something. Carlisle was patient and waited for him to talk.
“It’s, uh— it’s about the new girl, Aušra…” he started, Carlisle make a noise of acknowledgement but otherwise said nothing, urging Jasper to continue. “Um… I know her…”
Shit.
Aušra saw Carlisle’s initial shock before he schooled his face back into neutrality. He said nothing just let out another sound of acknowledgement.
“But… I can’t remember anything about her—”
Aušra let out —what would’ve been very audible had she not been astral at the time— a sigh of relief.
Okay, so he doesn’t know more about me than I do about him. That’s kinda comforting… but who would’ve put a memory spell on both of us?
“—Like I know that I know her. I’m positive about it. There’s something very familiar about her. But I pull a blank whenever I try to think about it, there’s nothing there!” His annoyance was clear.
“That is unusual… what makes you so sure you know her? Like what about her is familiar? What do you recognize?” Carlisle inquired, his tone held no disbelief just curiosity.
“Really, the first thing I recognized about her was her emotions…“ Jasper started. Carlisle turned and quirked an eyebrow at him, which caused Jasper to elaborate, “everyone has emotions that kinda make up the core feeling of them. Emotions that they’re not necessarily feeling at that moment but are just always there. Everyone has their own unique ‘feel’ to them that distinguishes them from others.”
“Like a fingerprint?”
Jasper scrunched up one side of his face and made a reluctant noise. He turned his body to better face Carlisle but was still looking off into the distance, “I’d say more like someone’s scent. ‘Cause someone’s scent is more liable to be influenced. Like someone can change their shampoo, perfume, laundry detergent, etc, and that will influence how they smell, but their scent underneath it all will still stay the same. Fingerprints are more fixed. Aren’t many ways you can obfuscate a fingerprint without fully damaging it,” he waved a hand in dismissal, “but either way, when I first saw her in the hall, I sort of recognized her ‘emotional aura’. I don’t even know if it was a fully conscious recognition. Like she felt familiar in a vague way but I didn’t give it much thought. But then in the lunch room when I was more focused on her, it hit me that I had definitely felt that distinct mix of emotions before. Not just that though, but that I knew the person they were attached to. And it just got stronger during our class together, she started looking familiar too. And then this afternoon when I went to get Emmett and Edward, I stayed behind,” Carlisle hummed in question at that, so Jasper clarified, “that was what Alice’s ‘vision’ was about, well actually she said it was more of feeling that ‘it’d be a good thing for me to stay after Edward and Emmett left’.
“Anyways, she was meditating outside when I got there, when she got up to go inside I saw her face again and fully recognized her. But still absolutely no memories about her would surface. I don’t understand why or how this is happening…” Jasper let his head fall back onto the tree, letting out a groan, “I just feel like ‘m goin’ crazy…”
Glad I’m not the only one feeling like I’m losing my mind… but I guess at least I know it’s because of a spell.
Carlisle nodded sympathetically, his brows scrunched in thought. They were quiet for a while when finally Carlisle broke the silence, “whether it is an actual lapse in memory, or some other effect making you feel as though you recognize her, I’m sorry to say that I don’t know what could have caused or could be causing that. I’ll have to do some research, maybe reach out some old friends…This really is a lot of quite bizarre occurrences that surround this girl… and I truly don’t know what to make of them.” He paused then turned to Jasper, “what do you think of her?”
“I uh— ‘m not sure. I mean, we’ve only known her for a less than a day, and I’m really the only one who interacted with her.”
“That is one reason I’m asking your opinion on this matter. Because of your gift and your past, you’ve developed good instincts for these types of things,” Carlisle stated matter-of-factly.
Jasper sighed and rubbed his face, “there’s just so much that’s unknown about her. It’s hard to make a proper assessment… but, I doubt she’s a threat to our safety —at least at this point in time.”
Carlisle nodded sagely. “I agree, but I meant what do you think about her personally? Tell me about her.”
“I mean we barely talked, it was four minutes at the most.”
“Perhaps, but you don’t really need to talk to someone to get a read on them, right?”
Jasper sat silent. Aušra was watching with rapt attention, what did he think of her?
“Well… she’s very smart and proactive, that’s for sure. She was already caught up with all her make up work —I heard the teacher talking to her about it before she left the class, apparently she picked it up last week, even though she was still moving in. She had no issues keeping up with the lecture in class, though, she was a bit distracted throughout the period. She speaks English with virtually no accent even though, presumably, Lithuanian is her birth language as she lived there for the first eight years of her life. She apparently also speaks Russian on top of that. Maybe Spanish too?
“She’s kind and considerate. I could feel her concern for me during class —Joanna didn’t wear her perfume today and I was havin’ some issues with her scent, nothin’ serious just uncomfortable. But she recognized that I was uncomfortable, and felt concerned for me even though she was havin’ her own problems —if her emotions were anything to go by.
“She was relatively sociable at her lunch table. Though, she didn’t seem to like Jessica that much. But Jessica’s quite self-centered and not the nicest so I can’t fault Aušra for that. She probably would’ve been more social but she felt distracted for most of lunch.
“According to Rosalie and Emmett, she talked to Angela —who’s shy and self conscious but a very intelligent and sweet girl— in between their coding exercises. Which was quite frequent, or so I’m told—which is just more evidence of her intelligence, if she had so much time in between to chat. Emmett said that the conversation flowed really naturally even though Angela’s a bit awkward with small talk. Aušra was apparently very good at listening and then asking good leading questions, and having leading replies to keep the conversation going smoothly. So she’s remarkably socially adept for a teenager.
“She does seem to have an anxiety disorder or something similar —that’s one part of her ‘emotional aura’— but she also seems rather self-assured and confident. Which, is an odd combination to say the least. Especially for someone so young.
“Oh! And how could I forget?”
Carlisle looked just as absorbed in the conversation (though it was a bit too one-sided to be an actual conversation) as the two witches were.
“God… When I was observing her at Alice’s behest, she was meditating. And Carlisle, the level of absolute tranquility this girl was able to reach is completely unfair.” Jasper’s mouth curled into a subtle contented smile at the memory. “I have never felt anything like it. It was absolutely breathtaking. I don’t know how she does it. It almost felt fake or as if it was somehow a trick. It was intoxicating. I wish I could describe it better or allow y’all to feel it ‘cause it was debilitating in the best kind of way.”
Aušra was glad she wasn’t currently in her body because she’d definitely be blushing from this. Aurelia shot her a look then waggled her eyebrows. In true friend fashion, Aušra rolled her eyes and flipped her off in response.
“That’s basically all I was able glean about her from today, it’s nowhere near a full picture.”
“Oh, is that all?” Carlisle responded archly. He was quiet again for a moment as he continued to absorb all the information he was just given. “Well the picture you do paint of the girl is very pleasant. She sounds nice. I concur with your assessment that she’s likely harmless —other than the strange happenings that seem to surround her.”
Aušra snorted at the thought that she was ‘harmless.’
It’s true I’m not a threat to them, but I’m definitely not harmless either.
“I’d like to meet her myself—”
What??—No!
“—Perhaps Esme and I should go over to her house and meet her and her parents, see if that could shed any additional light on the situation,” Carlisle mused.
Jaspers face was twisted into something of a grimace, “her parents are…uhh, dead…”
Carlisle’s face dropped. Aušra could see the sorrow and pity —maybe it was sympathy?— in his eyes. “So who does she live with? Grandparents, aunt/uncles, an older sibling perhaps?”
Aušra felt bad for these men, she could hear the masked desperation in Carlisle’s voice as he tried to be hopeful, listing off relatives.
“She lives alone —as far as I know— with her dog. Don’t know 'bout no aunts, uncles, or siblings; but Edward gleaned from other students that her parents died when she was 12. Then, she lived with her grandfather until he died. Don’t know when that happened and if there was anything in between, but now shes emancipated and living here,” Jasper somewhat somberly replied.
Aušra saw Carlisle’s expression get more and more despondent as Jasper recounted her ‘life’s story’. She felt uncomfortable watching this vampire be so torn up about her fake backstory. Well, all her close biological relatives were dead but they’d been dead for over a hundred years. Why did this man —vampire— feel so much anguish (if his expression was to be believed) for her? —A random teenager he did not know. She had caused one of his Coven pain for cripe’s sake! Why was he sorry for her?
She turned to Aurelia and concentrated, ‘I’m done’
She gave Aušra a questioning look, ‘you sure?’
She just nodded in response then prepared herself for ‘reentry’. It was gonna suck.
———•<•>•———
Aušra felt herself settle back into her body. A slight pounding accompanied her blurred vision. She groaned, it was partially a sob. Slowly, she rolled herself over then pushed herself up onto her knees and elbows. Her head hung down as she fought the waves of nausea assaulting her.
“What’s this about burning and attempting to blind someone?” Aurelia ask accusingly, though Ausra barely comprehended what she was saying.
“……uuuuuuhhhhhhhhggggggnnnnnnnn……divination rune…,” she groaned.
“Oh, yeah. I forgot you had that.”
She could hear Aurelia stifling her snickering behind her, through the crystal. She promptly whipped her arm around her back and blindly waved her middle finger around.
The snickers turned into a snort, then full on laughter.
“You ok–ay?” It would’ve sounded more sincere if she hadn’t laughed halfway through asking.
“Can’t you see I’m dying?” Aušra coarsely whined. Still trying to keep her stomach where it was. She pushed herself onto her hands.
“Oh! I’m so sorry!” her friend replied, theatrically sarcastic. “I didn’t know you were on deaths door!”
Aušra glared over her shoulder at her friend, a scowl cutting her features. “Užsipisk…”
*go screw/fuck yourself*
“Sorry,” Aurelia looked unrepentant, trying —and failing horribly— to hide her grin. “I always forget how badly you respond to rejoining your body after going astral.” She bit her lip in an attempt stop herself from grinning.
Aušra sat herself down crisscross, still hunched over, grumbling, “my soul likes staying in my body, thank you very much. Unlike some freaks I know.”
“Hey! Rude… by how much you’re talking I assume you’re feeling a little better?”
Aušra was feeling better, or at least her vision was less blurry and the world was no longer spinning, as much. She slowly raised her head and looked at Aurelia through the crystal. She gave her a purposefully terrible expression —dead eyes, a smile that was more of a grimace and sneer than a smile— “peachy…” she felt another throbbing pain lance through her head. She was gonna need to sleep this off.
“Do you want to talk about what we learned tonight?” Aurelia asked.
“Well, I learned that you’re a terrible friend, who doesn’t care about my wellbeing,” Aušra answered wryly.
“You just figured that out?” she archly shot back. “I mean, ‘oh how your words wound me Aušra! How could you say such hurtful things to me?’ …But in all seriousness, do you want to talk about it?”
“Nah, not really… I’ve got a killer headache starting and I still have homework to do.”
“Why don’t you just use your quills for the homework?” Aurelia asked with a bemused smile.
“They’re still packed away somewhere… I don’t know which box they’re in.”
“Oof that’s rough.”
“They’re pretty old though, I need to make some new ones soon. But, I’ve still got so much I need to do, and new quills are pretty low on the list. I still haven’t even warded my property.”
“You still haven’t warded?? Didn’t you move in last week?” She was beyond shocked.
“I literally just told you before we went astral. But yeah, I know! It’s usually the first thing I do. It’s just been issue after issue with this move. I already told you that I was supposed to be here before the school year started, but then the renovations on the house went over by six effing weeks. I couldn’t get movers for another week. Then the moving truck was two days late to show up here because the first truck broke down and they had to transfer all my stuff onto a different truck, it was a mess. And I was just so preoccupied last week with doing make-up work and unpacking the essentials that I barely had time for anything else,” Aušra huffed.
“I don’t know, wasn’t thinking about that. I knew about the renovation stuff but man, that’s a lot of stuff going wrong.” She got a twinkle of mischief in her eye, “you sure your ‘Divination Dart has never steered you wrong’?”
“Aureliaaaaa….” she whined in annoyance, “don’t you dare blame this on my infallible dart methods. It was just bad luck, okay? Maybe it was all meant to happen, hmmm?”
She didn’t look convinced, “sure… anyways I’m going to let you go now, keep me updated, okay?”
“Will do. Don’t forget to let me know when you want me to come help you choose a property.”
“Oh, I definitely won’t! Get some rest, stay safe! Don’t antagonize the vampires! Love you!”
Aušra smiled, “love you too, but no promises about not antagonizing Edward, at least.”
The ‘call’ was disconnected. Aušra flopped back and tossed her arm over her eyes. She felt so drained, but there was still so much to do.
‘TAMSIE!’
‘I am coming! Did everything go well?’
She heard his nails clacking on the floor above her. Then him prancing down the stairs. She held her other arm out for him to nestle into, which he did happily.
“Everything went fine, learned a good amount. You don’t happen to know where my quills are do you?”
‘Which ones?’
“The special ones that write by themselves.”
‘Uhhhh…no, I do not think so, would you like me to look for them?’
“Maybe tomorrow, when I’m gone…ugh Tamsus, why do I have to have homework still??”
She felt his confusion, unsure whether he was actually supposed to respond. She chuckled. “Rhetorical question, I don’t actually need an answer, buddy.”
‘Ah, okay. That is what I thought. I just was not sure.’
She patted his flank. “Alright Tamsie, let’s get moving. Can you help me up?” She felt his confirmation.
She grabbed his collar and he walked forward helping pull her upright. The world was barely spinning now. She kept one arm on his back, bracing herself she stood up using Tamsus to help keep her balance.
Ugf… Standing=bad idea.
The world was spinning again. She moved her other hand to Tamsus’s back leaning heavily on him to keep herself from falling. He didn’t even budge under her weight. (She knew he wouldn’t, being made from mostly magic he was a lot stronger and more durable than a normal dog.) After a minute the world stopped spinning again.
‘You okay to keep moving?’
“Yeah… the dizziness has abated.”
They made their way up the steps to the main floor. Aušra flopped herself down at the dining table. She looked at the clock, it wasn’t even 18:45 yet. She dropped her head down onto the table with a thunk.
‘Why do I do this to myself?’
‘Do what?’ Tamsus replied.
‘I don’t know… torture myself?……could you grab me my book-bag, and then one of my meals from the fridge? Please?’
‘Of course!’
She watched him grab her bag from the seat opposite of her —where he left it when she returned from school. She took the bag from him and gave him a scratch on the butt as he turned and trotted to the fridge. It opened for him—as did all the doors in the house— he grabbed a container and brought it over to her.
Aušra pulled out her all her homework and sighed. It wasn’t a lot, and it wasn’t particularly hard, her brain was just at half capacity now, so it was going to take a lot more concentration to get it done.
It was 22:00 by the time she was finished. She put the work in her bag then dragged herself upstairs to her bedroom. She wanted nothing more than to face-plant onto her bed and pass out. However, she was still wearing her traditional dress and she was not risking damaging it by sleeping in it.
She sat down on the bed. She still wasn’t very steady on her feet. Slowly disrobing herself as her fingers refused to listen and her eyes were rebelling by continuously closing and being difficult to open again.
Finally, she was stripped bare (and dress folded nicely), she donned the pajamas Tamsus had blessedly brought her. She loved him so much.
She cocooned herself in the covers and promptly conked out.
Notes:
Hope y’all enjoyed! It’s true that sometimes you just go into a fugue state of possession while writing and characters start changing your story. That’s what happened here, didn’t plan for Jasper to have a ptsd flashback this chapter but it just kinda happened… Typically you’re not supposed to touch them bc that can make it worse, but Alice can tell when/what would be best.
Chapter 5: Getting to Know You
Summary:
Aušra has some fun (for her) with Edward. She and Jasper have a nice conversation. And the police drop by to check on her?
Chapter Text
Aušra awoke five minutes before her earliest alarm. She cursed her body for not giving her the extra few minutes. She was still groggy, but was feeling much better. She rolled herself off the bed, grabbed the dress she left (messily) folded on top of the chest at the foot of her bed, and hung it up. She glanced at herself in the mirror as she walked by. She had forgotten to take out the braids last night.
Grabbing her clothes for the day, she made her way back to the bathroom. The ribbons in her braids luckily weren’t knotted, so her hair was easy to undo.
She went on autopilot through her morning routine while she went through what happened yesterday.
Last night had done a lot to assuage her ‘fears’ about the vampires, the Cullens. She still didn’t want to claim her Natural Governance over them —no thanks to that responsibility— but if she ever had to, it wouldn’t be the worst thing. They seemed like good people, generally.
Alice is a pre-cog, which explained why her (anti)divination rune kept going off yesterday. She still couldn’t believe that Alice had kept trying to ‘see’ her after the first time she was burned. That took some serious commitment. Aušra was unsure exactly what would happen to a vampire if they continued past that, but for a witch, it’d completely blind them (only temporarily due to their healing factor). If a regular human had that kind of gift and tried to do it to the point Alice had however, they’d destroy their optic nerve (and possibly melt their eyes, if they kept going, Aušra wasn’t entirely sure). Interestingly, Alice had been able to see something of Aušra —presumably while she was realigning.
It made some sense. That had been one of the very first body runes she had designed. It was more crude, but got the job done. She hadn’t created the technique yet (at least for body runes) that would allow her to use ‘environmental’ jėga so it was only powered off her own. Since she had been purging, replenishing, and anchoring her jėga at the time, it would’ve probably made the rune much less effective. It was good to know that it worked at all when aligning that aggressively though.
Everything she had thought about Edward turned out to be true which made her feel a little smug. He was probably perfectly fine under normal circumstances, but she was petty and he was being a creep. He really thought it was okay to stalk —what they believed to be— a 16 year old girl (why did they think she was 16? her records had her at 17?) because he couldn’t read her mind (she knew there were technically other reasons but that was the main one). She was definitely going to torment the little shit. He was lucky she was so amicable, many other witches she knew would absolutely wreck him for such actions against them —no matter the reasoning. She was just going to gaslight him…make him go a little crazy. His siblings already seemed to not believe him about her, so it should be reasonably easy to do without them also starting to believe something was up.
Jasper…
Jasper was interesting though…
He also had a gift, he was an empath. Which explained his odd reactions to her yesterday in class, her emotions had been flip-flopping like crazy. She smiled, remembering what he said about her to Carlisle. Was she really that tranquil when she aligned? His praise was kinda flattering.
He really had been able to get a very accurate read of her from their very limited interactions. Though, he did give her a bit too much credit in some areas. She disliked small talk and actually used to be quite bad at it. However, to have actual, good, meaningful conversations you have to get through enough small talk, so it was a skill she had diligently studied.
She didn’t know much about him though. He obviously had some trauma. He was a skilled fighter —or at least survivor— if the horrifying amalgamation of scars (the implications having such scars gave was horrifying, not particularly the scars themselves) on his neck alone were anything to go by. Which, if he was turned in the South —like she was suspecting he was— that would explain the scars. He was compassionate, but then again: empath. Of his siblings he seemed closest to Alice. She wasn’t sure what to think of that relationship. It seemed more than platonic but also not romantic? He was also surprisingly (based on his poor attempts in class the previous day) rather good at gathering information, though maybe not facts.
Jasper was an enigma. Mostly because of their lack of memory of each other. Where could they’ve met before? She had spent a fair amount of time in the south, when she was young and stupid. If he was 159, he would’ve been alive when she was there, albeit young, but alive. Likely even a vampire at that point… So it was a possibility, but there was no way to confirm that they were in the same place at the same time without revealing that she knew their secret. (Or without revealing her own).
Stupid memory-locking spells! (She didn’t really mean it, they had saved her ass many times before)… While it was on her mind she took out her phone and texted Misha:
Me:
Hey, I have questions
about memory stuff.
Contact me when u can.
Unlike with Aurelia, she didn’t expect Misha to answer anytime soon. Though, if he didn’t respond in a few days she’d have to mail him something.
She didn’t know much about the others. Rosalie seemed protective and combative (at least with Edward). Esme and Carlisle just seemed very compassionate and kind in general.
She went back to her morning routine, allowing her mind to go blank. She checked the time once she was ready, 06:15. Damn, she was ready early.
She took out the marking ‘flags’ for Tamsus, as promised, leaving them on the front porch. With all her school stuff in the car, she went over to her newly decided ‘Alignment Spot’. She laid out a small outdoor blanket she had grabbed. It wasn’t a special runic one like yesterday, it just kept her clothes clean.
She took off her socks and shoes. She didn’t need to be barefoot for it, but it was more comfortable. She sat down and started.
Unlike yesterday, she was just doing a light alignment. She didn’t even really need it, but she had time, so she might as well.
She pushed her jėga out greeting the trees. Again, she felt them welcome her though it was more subtle now. She felt their energies pulsing beneath her. She didn’t need them to be synced up this time. She just pulled every time she felt a strong wave.
After five minutes she felt full. Then it took another ten minutes to anchor and rearrange the jėga within her. She hadn’t used as much as she had thought yesterday with the spell, but she had been a little unbalanced.
She checked her watch, 06:35. Welp, she might as well just go now and be there early. She didn’t have anything else she could do in that time.
‘Bye Tamsus, I’m off! Have fun!’
The parking lot was basically empty when she got to school. The busses (the three they had) hadn’t even arrived yet.
Aušra pulled out her CD case and started flipping through. A grin took over her face when she saw her Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness by The Smashing Pumpkins CD. Oh that was devious… delightfully so. She fought against herself. It’s stupid, she really shouldn’t. It would be so funny though. The thought of what Edward’s face would look like is what pushed her over the edge. She put in the first disc and flipped to the fifth track, pausing ten seconds before it moved to the next song.
The universe —it seemed— had a similar sense of humor today. Not ten minutes later, Edward drove into the parking lot, alone. He pulled in two spots away from her. This was going to be even better. Aušra composed herself, this wouldn’t work if she was grinning her ass off. She pretended not to know it was him (he didn’t know she could see through the tint). She cranked the volume, then pretended to mess with the radio until she heard his door latch click. She pressed play. Track five faded… and, as he stepped out, the next song blared:
“THE WORLD IS A VAMPIRE.”
He froze, unnaturally still, staring ahead. She started singing along, only watching him through her peripherals.
“SENT TO DRAIN.”
“SECRET DESTROYERS.”
He turned slowly. Staring her down, eyes wide. She turned, gave him a kind smile and waved shyly.
“HOLD YOU UP TO THE FLAMES.”
He kept staring at her like she’d just admitted that she liked murdering kittens. Since he wasn’t stopping, she rolled down her window and turned down the music.
“Hey! You’re Jasper’s brother, Edward, right?” she asked innocently. He was still frozen in place. She could feel him attempting to read her mind. “Um… hello?” she said when he continued to not respond.
“Uhh… what?” he responded, extremely intelligently.
“I said, you’re Edward, Jasper’s brother right?” she repeated slowly.
“…yeah…?”
Oh, how delightful! She broke his brain! Oh, this was even better!
“Cool! It’s nice to meet you! My name’s Aušra.”
“Nice to meet you…” he shifted on his feet.
Could she break it more? Should she? She really wanted to. The temptation to insult him with her thoughts was high. She decided against it. For now… didn’t want to push too far too fast.
“Well, okay then… see ya later!” she said cheerfully, waving then rolling up her window.
He turned swiftly, then went inside. Once he was out of sight Aušra allowed herself to dissolve into a fit of giggles (she knew he would hear but didn’t care). That definitely put her in a good mood for the rest of the day.
The school day went well, she smiled at the rest of the Cullens when they arrived in the parking lot. She talked to Angela before homeroom. Made some nice small talk with Joel in her homeroom class.
She worked on an English assignment in the library during lunch instead of sitting with the others.
(Truth be told, she also didn’t care to sit with Jessica, she didn’t much mind that she was self centered, it mostly because she was definitely a gossip. Aušra had secrets she wanted to keep secret and gossips weren’t great at that. Though she would hang out with her if Angela wanted to, she liked Angela.)
Edward came into the library at the beginning of lunch. He sat down at a table across from hers and pulled out some papers. Did he actually come here to study, or was this just an excuse to keep tabs on her?
She could feel him watching her. Not just in a metaphorical sixth sense way, no, she actually had a rune (technically three) that allowed her to stay aware of her surroundings (within a certain radius). She couldn’t see 360° around her but she could sense it. (It was almost like a ‘Spidey Sense’ type of thing, but not just for danger).
She looked up at him. He quickly looked down, like he hadn’t just been staring at her.
“Can I help you?” she whispered, loud enough that a human could feasibly hear.
He looked up, pure innocence on his face. “Hmm…?” he questioned.
Wow he really was going to play dumb. She gestured to the seat across from her expectantly, inviting him to move and sit. He didn’t, just looked at her confused.
Po velnių, she badly wanted to insult him mentally. But, she’d already ‘had her fun’ for today —totally worth it, by the way— so she restrained herself, yet again.
*dammit*
She rolled her eyes and went back to her English research. He barely looked at her the rest of lunch, just fleeting glances. Maybe he had just come for studying and found her there unexpectedly. She had her doubts, but it was possible.
She lost track of time, the bell to dismiss them rang unexpectedly. She still had all her materials out. She rushed to put them away and sped off to class hoping she wouldn’t be late.
She made it to Bio II before the tardy bell rang. Barely. She made her way back to her lab bench. Jasper was already seated, everything out ready for the lesson. He looked mildly surprised to see her. She wondered if she still felt tranquil to him today?
“Hey Jasper!” she whispered, taking her seat beside him, she gave him a warm smile.
He gave a slightly flustered smile in return. “Hello Aušra. Didn’t know if ya’d be here today.” he whispered back as she took out her own things for the class.
Once again, her smile grew when he said her name correctly, “what? Why wouldn’t I be?”
He shrugged, “didn’t see ya at lunch, thought maybe you went home sick or somethin’…”
She was going to respond when their teacher spoke up and started the lesson.
Aušra kept up easily, taking minimal notes, which were mostly for show. Witches didn’t have perfect memories like vampires did, but their memories were very enhanced. (She also had multiple degrees in different biology specialties which certainly helped). When there was a break in the lesson, she turned towards Jasper who was occupied with the handout they’d been given. The other students had all started talking amongst themselves, so now was a good time to continue their ‘conversation’.
“So…” she started, waiting for him to acknowledge her. He turned his head slowly, with an apprehensive look. (That was possibly because of the mischief he was most certainly picking up from her). She continued teasingly, “you were looking for me at lunch? Why’s that? You stalking me?” She arched a brow and smirked.
His jaw went slack, eyes wide, mouth parted slightly. “N—No. Of course not!” he stammered, “it’s just– it’s a small cafeteria, and I just noticed you weren’t there…” he finished, trying to cover for himself.
She covered her mouth as she let out a quiet snort, “I’m just teasing. No need to get so flustered.”
He relaxed a bit, “sorry… I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want ya to feel unsafe or anythin’…” He gave a hesitant smile, rubbing the back of his neck.
“That’s kind of you, but there’s no need to worry about me,” she said neutrally. “Besides…” she waved a hand in dismissal, “you’d be a pretty incompetent stalker for not knowing I was in the library. With your brother,” she said jokingly, though ‘brother’ held more annoyance.
“You were with my brother…?” he questioned, eyebrows pulled tight.
“Yeah, Edward? But I mean, ‘with’ isn’t really the right term. More like, ‘he happened to also be there sitting at the table across from mine… staring at me’.” she said lightly.
His face dropped to almost a scowl, “he was doing what,” his voice was tense. Pissed.
“Staring at me, for at least four minutes. I invited him to sit with me but he played dumb, so I ignored him.” she stated plainly.
Jasper let out a harsh exhale, closing his eyes, “gonna murder that—” he muttered, probably too low for a normal human to hear. “I’m sorry about my brother’s behavior. I’ll make sure to talk to him about it later.”
Aušra shrugged, “no harm, no foul. He did stop once I called him out. It was just weird… anyway, how was the rest of your day yesterday?” she said, forcing a topic change. She started working on the handout as they talked.
He paused for a second, but followed her lead, “it was good. How ‘bout yours?”
“Well, I spent most of the evening unpacking—” she rolled her eyes, “—but I also got to do some meditation in my yard which was nice, since it’d been a minute. I got to talk to an old friend for a while, that was also nice. But then I realized I still had to do all my assignments so I was up pretty late cause my brain was only half functioning… all in all, it was decent.” she paused before adding, “what about you, what’d you do?”
“Oh…I…” he fumbled, clearly not expecting either her long, open response or her interest in his day. He quickly collected himself, “homework mostly.” When she continued to watch him expectantly he continued, “I went on a walk in the woods with my brothers… uh, we had a ‘Family Meeting’ to talk about…school stuff. Alice braided my hair for a bit… I went for another walk later in the evening with Carlisle—he’s my adoptive father. Did some painting, then stargazing then went to bed.”
Aušra smiled at him, pleased that he shared that much about his day with her. She wanted to keep the conversation going so she asked, “you paint? What do you like to paint? What medium do you use? Do you do other kinds of art?”
If he was put off by her bombardment of questions he didn’t show it. He gave her a half smile —it could’ve been called a smirk but it looked too genuine.
He told her that he typically painted landscapes and used oil paints but he’d had used other paints before. He chuckled when she likened him to Bob Ross. The conversation flowed easier between them after that. He asked her about meditation. She asked him where he went on walks. The class passed by quickly as they continued to chat pleasantly. It was…nice. When the bell rung, they said their goodbyes.
———•<•>•———
Before Aušra even had time to settle in her seat during her next class, Angela blurted out, “I’m really sorry about Jessica yesterday…”
Aušra made a confused face and asked, “what do you mean?”
“Well you know…” she floundered a bit, cringing, “she was being rude to you…”
“Oh that? Firstly, you don’t have to apologize for her. And secondly, it’s fine, I’ve heard much worse.” she said brushing it off.
Oh, that just seemed to make the situation worse. Angela cringed even more, “that doesn’t make it okay… do you ha—are we still friends?” she asked the floor.
How could she think that they wouldn’t be friends anymore? Aušra had talked to her all class yesterday. She felt a pang of hurt in her chest—and a bit of fury. She wanted to hurt whoever made this sweet girl so insecure.
Aušra made an exaggerated noise of confusion. Angela looked at her face scrunched in worry. “Why wouldn’t we still be friends?” she asked incredulously.
She looked up, “Well…I, uh —because…”
“Because Jessica was ignorant and rude to me? You don’t have any control over her actions do you?”
“…no…” Angela responded somewhat defeated.
“Then why would it be an issue? You didn’t know that she was going to behave like that, so why would I hold it against you?”
Angela relaxed partially at her words, “sorry, it’s just you didn’t sit with us at lunch…”
Oh!
Everything clicked. “Angela, I was in the library working on an assignment—” Aušra noticed Rosalie and Emmett entering, her mind filled with mischief, “—well that, and being stared at by a Cullen.”
Angela looked relieved and then concerned. Aušra saw Rosalie’s and Emmett’s posture change.
Angela leaned in, “a Cullen was staring at you? Which one? Why?”
Aušra told her basically the same thing she had just told Jasper. Rosalie went even more stiff. Aušra was sure that if she could see her face, the vampire’s eyes would be twitching.
After recounting the ‘story’, Angela sat there in stunned silence before saying, “that seems so weird of him to do…”
Aušra just pursed her lips and nodded.
After that, the class period went much like the day previous, with plenty of quiet chatting going on between Aušra and Angela between coding exercises. It was mostly typical high schooler small talk so it was easy enough to answer but Aušra found herself caught off guard by one question.
“Huh?” she replied to Angela, very eloquently.
“Spirit Week. Are you going to do any of the days?” Angela repeated.
“I don’t even know what that is…”
“Oh! Sorry, I just assumed you knew…” she took a moment, seemingly gathering her thoughts, “well it’s a week to show ‘School Spirit’.” she said, then realized that wasn’t really a sufficient response, so she continued, “um… each school day of the week gets a ‘theme’ and then we dress up according to that theme. Like ‘career day’, ‘decades day’, ‘ancestry day’, ‘character day’—those are the ones this year— and it usually culminates in everyone dressing in school colors on Friday for the football game.”
“Oh, I see…” was all Aušra could get out about this new information, “when is that supposed to happen?”
Angela giggled, “next week, it’s been all over the morning and afternoon announcements.”
“Well apparently, I haven’t been paying that much attention to those…” she joked, “isn’t next Friday Halloween?”
“Yeah, I think they said costumes would be okay if they were in school colors… I assume you have no plans then?” Angela asked.
“Considering I didn’t even know about it until now…yeah, I have no plans, though I could definitely put something together…well, probably.”
“If you wanted, me and the rest of the group are going to Port Angeles on Saturday to go to the costume store?” Angela hopefully offered.
Aušra cringed slightly, “as much as I want to —and I do want to — I unfortunately have so much I need to get done this weekend, more unpacking, job stuff, I have a delivery I need to sign for Saturday too —and I don’t know when they’re supposed to be here— plus homework, grocery shopping, and meal prepping for the week… ugh I’m sorry, I’m just swamped.”
Angela’s shoulders slumped slightly, “it’s okay… I get it.”
“Maybe we could hang out next weekend?” Aušra offered. Angela perked up at bit at that.
“Sure! I have to ask my parents though…”
“Okay, just let me know.”
———•<•>•———
Aušra’s evening was spent peacefully. She did her homework first thing. After confirming that no vampires were watching, Tamsus excitedly showed her all the places he found that would be good for wards. She got up on the roof —one of the second story windows opened to the porch’s roof which then gave her easy access to the rest— to get a better feel for the overall placement of them. She had Tamsus take out the ones that she immediately knew would mess with the flow of energy. They went back inside where she transfigured Tamsus into a crow and had him get an aerial view as she looked through his eyes.
Once he was done she reverted him back and gave him treats (he did not like being transformed). She gridded a piece of paper, then proceeded to map out the leftover locations. She would use it later to choose what wards would go where for maximum effectiveness. Tamsus let himself back out into the yard as she worked.
It was around 18:00, just after she finished making dinner, when she heard the sound of a car coming up her gravel driveway.
‘Tamsus.’
‘I hear it, I am coming.’
She walked over to the front door, pushed aside the sheer curtains that covered the sidelites, and peered out at the approaching vehicle.
It was a police cruiser…?
What in the hell…? Did someone call the cops on me?
‘It’s the police…’ she informed Tamsus.
‘Why?’
‘How would I know that?’
‘Can I scare them? Please …” she could feel his pleading.
‘Maybe…but not now, keep out of sight until I say so. Got it?’
She felt the huff of disappointment but he accepted nonetheless.
Aušra walked away from the door, to the dining room but activated her hearing runes so she could keep tabs on the officer.
His car stilled. She heard it go into park and then be shut off. She heard his boots (she assumed) on the gravel, then up the steps of her porch to her door. She waited for him to knock, it took him longer than it should’ve.
When he finally knocked she waited a moment or two before going to the door. When she opened it, the officer had moved back and down one step.
Awww… he’s trying to not look threatening.
Aušra looked him over. The officer looked like the quintessential American dad. He was tall (6ft?) and in his 40s? He had dark brown hair that curled loosely, there were a few grey hairs at his temples. He had a thick mustache and a light smattering of stubble growing in. His eyes were kind but betrayed his weariness —the dark circles under them didn’t help either. His smile was soft and friendly. He was wearing a dark canvas bomber jacket with an embroidered police ‘badge’ and a patch that read ‘C. Swan’.
“Hello, Officer Swan, can I help you?” she asked tentatively.
He looked at her stunned. She smiled and pointed to where the name tag would be on herself. He looked down at his own coat and let out a small chuckle rolling his eyes.
“Sorry to bother you so late miss…?”
“Sykes, Aušra Sykes. And it’s only 6pm, that can hardly be called ‘late’.” she said archly.
He chuckled again looking at his watch, “I guess you’re right about that Miss Sykes… As you’ve already expertly deduced, my name’s Chief Swan. Charlie Swan that is. I’m the Chief of Police here in Forks. I knew that someone was moving into this old place, but when I found out that it was you, I decided that I should come by and introduce myself. I tried yesterday around the same time but I guess you didn’t hear me…” Chief Swan had a nervous smile on his face.
“Oh! I’m so sorry Chief Swan I was in the basement organizing and unpacking most of the evening yesterday. Though I am surprised Tamsie didn’t hear anything…”
“Please call me Charlie or just Chief…Tammie? Who’s that, I was under the impression that you lived here alone.”
Aušra stepped out onto the porch and put two fingers in her mouth whistling loud. Charlie looked at her impressed.
‘CAN I SCARE HIM??’
‘No. but you are allowed to startle him, a little.’
‘I will take it!’ h e responded gleefully.
She saw his large, dark form sprint out from the tree line in front of her. His footfalls were near silent as he dashed towards the porch. She stepped to the side and Charlie briefly gave her an odd look before it was quickly replaced by horror as Tamsus leapt past him —clearing all four steps in a single bound.
She heard a faint ‘Jesus!’ from Charlie as Tamsus barreled past him. He had clearly slowed down before the jump as he was able to skid to a stop before hitting the house.
“This—“ she gestured to her weird ‘canine’ companion beside her, “—is Tamsie. Technically Tamsus… Sometimes Butthead”
He let out a soft whine at the last nickname.
‘…hey…not nice.’
‘That’s what you get. I said you could startle him not give him a heart attack!’ she admonished.
Charlie had one hand clutched to his chest with the other one on the hand rail. He was trying to catch is breath.
“That… is a… Big…Dog…” he said panting in between each word.
“Yeah he sure is…” she gave him a pat on the head, “you’d think I was feeding growth hormones or steroids or something. None of his littermates got nearly as big.
“But you’re right, no other person lives with me, but I don’t really live alone. I got this big ol’ lug to keep me company.”
“I can see that… is–is he friendly?” Charlie asked slowly.
“Usually, unless he thinks you’re a threat. He’s pretty friendly otherwise and very goofy. He’s very well trained, so he’s unlikely to hurt anyone unless they’re trying to break in or hurt me.”
‘I am not goofy.’ Tamsus pouted.
She scoffed internally at him, ‘sure you aren’t, buddy…’
“Well it’s good to know you’re not completely alone out here. Back to the original purpose of my visit, I wanted to introduce myself and let you know that if you need anything please don’t hesitate to call.”
This man is adorable.
“That’s very sweet of you… have you eaten yet?”
Charlie looked confused by the non-sequitur.
“I—uhh… n-no I have not?” It was said like a question. “I just got off work, I haven’t been home yet…”
“Well I just made bulviniai blynai —potato pancakes, like latkes— would you like some?”
“Oh…I wouldn’t take any of your dinner from you…”
“I don’t really know how to cook for just one person, there’s plenty extra. Please, I insist.”
Aušra summoned a small draft that would bring the scent of the food out the door. She saw when the scent hit him, weakening his resolve.
“I don’t want to impose…”
“It would be no imposition. Please?…it’s because of me that you’re not home eating yet.” She gave him a hopeful smile.
He ran his hand through his hair, “Well… if you insist, I guess I could have some…”
She turned around heading back inside, “come on in! Take a seat, I’ll get you a plate ready.”
“Oh no, I couldn’t.” he responded quickly.
She whipped back around confused. It took her a moment to respond, “…oh! I’m sorry do you have someone waiting for you back home? Or somewhere else you need to be?”
“No, that’s uhh—that’s not the issue”
Aušra stood there looking at him, wracking her brain as to what his apprehension was about. “Then, what is?…”
Charlie stood there struggling to find the right words, but finally landed on, “…I’m a stranger, I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable…”
Make me uncomfortable……?
Oh! Duh… he thinks you’re a teenage girl. He’s a 40 year old man, normally that’d make him a possible threat to you, dummy.
This man is so precious.
“Oh! Right, thank you.” she paused, “we could eat out here on the porch?”
He paused thinking it over, when it looked like he might object, she added, “please? You really don’t have to, if you don’t want to, but they’re really better fresh and I would really enjoy the company.” she looked at him hopefully.
“well…alright,” he conceded, after another moment of thought. “Guess it couldn’t hurt anything.”
She grinned, “perfect! Wait right there I’ll plate up the food!” She had to prevent herself from skipping back to the kitchen.
“Uhh… your dog’s staring at me, he doesn’t look happy…” she heard him say from the kitchen.
‘I am not staring I am watching him.’ Tamsus corrected.
‘Same difference. There’s no need for that, stop freaking him out.’
«Down Tamsus. Friend» she commanded.
She felt him grumble.
“Is he lying down?” she asked Charlie.
“Uhh yeah, he is.”
‘Did you not believe that I would listen?’ h e asked, offended.
‘I trust you. It was more for his benefit.’
After she made plates for the both of them she brought everything to the porch.
“I can grab chairs or we can sit on the steps.”
“Steps are fine with me.”
They both sat down and started eating. Charlie was impressed with her cooking. They talked about their hobbies. He enjoyed fishing and watching baseball. He was pleasantly surprised when she told him she also enjoyed fishing (mostly for the having fresh fish to eat part). He even invited her to go fishing with him and his friends (and their kids) on the weekend, which she tragically had to decline due to her plans (she would’ve loved to go as she hadn’t had fresh-fresh fish in a while). He offered an open invitation as they went most weekends.
She talked about her woodworking hobbies and how the detached ‘garage’ she had had built was actually for a small wood shop. She showed him some of the smaller things she had made. He was very impressed with her ‘natural talent’. He said that she was a ‘prodigy’. She told him that she had been practicing for years (she just didn’t tell him that she’d been doing this since before his grandparents were probably alive).
They ended on the topic of his daughter, Bella. His smile got larger but there was an ache behind it. Aušra was about the same age as her. He got a wistful look when he talked about her. He didn’t see her very often, only in the summers. Aušra’s heart ached for this man, he clearly loved his daughter immensely.
They must’ve sat on the porch and talked for nearly an hour before he took his leave. He ended up giving her his cell phone number in case she took him up on his offer of fishing. (And in case she needed anything in general).
Aušra really liked Charlie Swan. He seemed like good people. He was so kindhearted even though life had just seemed to beat him down repeatedly. She felt oddly protective of the man. She resolved that she would do everything in her power to keep him safe. Maybe she’d put a luck charm on him. He could certainly do with some.
Notes:
I love Charlie (who doesn’t). I’ve had that scene of their first interaction in my head since the beginning.
Tamsus is a big dork. Btw for anyone wondering, he looks like a Cane Corso-Pitbull mix. Like the size and bulk of the Corso with a pitbull head. (Less ‘jowls’ than the corso).
Jasper was absolutely looking for Aušra in the cafeteria and he was definitely disappointed when she didn’t show up but he’s not gonna admit that to anyone.
Chapter 6: Revelations…?
Summary:
More “fun” with Edward! And Aušra makes a somewhat surprising (to her) discovery.
Notes:
Me: trying not to not type out every conversation cause it makes chapters super long and it’s time consuming to make sure each character has their own individual “voice”
My brain: “but I wanna know what they’re saying! Where’s the banter?? How am I supposed to know what their relationship is like??”
Me: okay we’ll write more dialogue
Also My brain: “this is torture! Abuse! How could you do this to us! It’s boring! Where’s the action? You’re making these so long! No one wants 5000 words of dialogue! It’s not a script!!”Me: *crying*
Hope I did well balancing actual dialogue with summarized dialogue.
Also Aušra is somehow becoming more and more self-inserty because I apparently dont know how to write POV characters that are neurotypical…
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
After Charlie left, Aušra went to the basement to continue unpacking and organizing her magic supplies. When she opened the door at the bottom of the steps, her heart dropped. Her ‘workshop’ was currently a mess. She hadn’t cleaned up from yesterday’s ‘activities’. To be honest, she had completely forgotten about it. Bowls filled with different components and concoctions littered the floor. Ingredients lay strewn about on different surfaces. There were used pots in the sink and on the stove. At least she had put her Spell Tomes away…
She did not want to clean. She hadn’t prepared herself to clean, so… she didn’t.
She floated all the bowls over to one of her work benches so she didn’t have to worry about stepping in or spilling anything. She would have to put the ingredients back in their containers and put those away, but that’s all she was doing tonight. Cleaning was a problem for future her.
She was able to get the rest of her magic supplies unpacked and put away that night. She had been in The Zone (aka hyperfixated). However, she had neglected to watch the time and it was nearly midnight by the time she was done. Why was she like this? At least she didn’t have to worry about it anymore.
Thursday went well for Aušra.
Because the ‘parking lot incident’ worked so beautifully and brought her so much joy, she spent the whole time organizing last night listening through her music looking for more songs to torment Edward with. She had found some contenders (and there would certainly be more as she had not gone through all of them) the issue now was when and how to use them. She had to be subtle about it. Maybe she could make a mix tape for him. No, that seemed too weird and intimate for her to do for a boy she had only sort of talked to once. She wanted nothing more than to go completely buck wild and see exactly how much she could get away with, but she also liked her privacy, and she had a feeling that the more bold she was the more likely he was to stalk her. She had to be careful and deliberate about this. Slowly drive him crazy…
Aušra sat with Angela and her table during lunch. Jessica was much less rude to Aušra, and seemed almost uncomfortable around her? Becca had also apologized for Jessica’s behavior at the beginning of lunch. So, Aušra suspected the senior had something to do with Jessica’s sudden behavioral change.
Angela was thrilled to have them sitting together. There was a lot of talk about spirit week and what everyone would be wearing when. Jessica was trying to coordinate her outfits with Mike but he didn’t seem that into it. Becca was friendly and made sure to keep including Aušra in the conversation. (Aušra might’ve been a chatterbox in small groups, but this lunch table was reaching her threshold for the maximum amount of people she could tolerate talking in a group with at once.)
Jasper and her continued to have good small conversations during biology. He was rather charismatic and funny. And —like her— he was well versed in the art of small talk, it was just a matter of getting him to not be so cold, getting him to open up a bit. Which he seemed to be warming up to her —much to her delight.
Thursday evening was thankfully, rather uneventful. After finishing homework, she worked on her ‘warding map’. First selecting which wards she wanted (she almost always used the same ones), then figuring out how the flow of jėga around her land (which is why she chose this specific property in the first place) would affect the wards and then choosing the optimal placement for each one. It was a lot of trial and error, and many erasers have been sacrificed in the past to this sort of endeavor. Luckily, she had much more experience so no erasers would have to give their lives that night. But, no matter her experience, it was still slow going. It’s very strategic, always needing to think five steps ahead —which is one of the reasons she enjoyed it so much, she loved having to puzzle it out.
She was barely half way through when she stopped, her brain refusing to think about it anymore that night. She put the ‘map’ in her backpack with the hope that maybe she could get it done —or at least closer to done— sometime at school tomorrow.
Aušra was still not very tired so she decided to start prepping some of the wards to leave less work for herself tomorrow and Saturday.
She headed to the basement. Shit, she still needed to clean… her head fell against the wall with a thunk. She groaned, wondering if she could put it off another day?…
No, if I don’t do it now, it won’t get done for weeks…
She huffed, turned on her CD player and got to work. She scrubbed the crud off the dirty pots and pans then placed them in the dishwasher (yes, she had two dishwashers in her home—one in the kitchen and one in the basement. Anyone would, if they used as many dishes as she did in their basement). She poured the contents of the wooden bowls she had stacked up yesterday down the sink or into the trash, then hand washed the bowls thoroughly. She wiped down all the counters and tabletops, being sure to give them a good scrub as well.
In the end, Aušra had done almost a full deep clean of her workspace. Which is one of the reasons she typically just tidied and cleaned as she went, because anytime she has to clean– clean —even if it was only supposed to be a little— she ends up doing a three hour cleaning session.
She looked at the clock. Thankfully she still had a good amount of time.
She pulled out glass jars, metal boxes, cloth bags, ceramics and other types of containers she would need. She didn’t pull out her tomes, she didn’t need them. She had done this so many times that it was all done with very little conscious thought. She started pulling all the warding spell components she needed. She grouped the ingredients by ward and those that were needed by multiple went in their own pile.
Once everything was pulled and sorted it was close to bedtime. She made herself a quick snack then turned in early for the night.
———•<•>•———
Aušra arrived to school early Friday morning in hopes of possibly catching Edward alone. He, unfortunately, arrived with Rosalie and Emmett. So most forms of torment were out… however, she had a class with them so maybe she could use that to her advantage.
The three of them were standing outside their car. Why?—who knows? But it worked in her favor so she wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Aušra grabbed her bag and exited her car. She put on her best smile then walked purposefully over to the trio.
Edward —who was the only one facing Aušra— was doing his best to not look at her. The other two had their backs to her, but she knew that they knew she was coming.
“Rosalie? Emmett?” Aušra called out.
They both turned. Rosalie was looking at her apprehensively, and while Emmett looked surprised, he had that smile that seemed to always be present. They didn’t respond but Aušra continued undeterred.
“…I’m Aušra. I’m in your Advanced Computer Science class during third period?”
Rosalie’s face and voice were neutral, “we know who you are, Aušra.”
“Oh…” she replied falsely bashful. She looked down and tucked her hair behind her ear feigning a bit of shyness, “right. So, um… I had a question for y’all…”
They looked at her expectantly —though Edward was looking anywhere but her.
Aušra asked them some BS question about a mini project due date. They both looked perplexed at the content of her question. In fact, it took them a moment to actually answer (which Emmett did).
“Oh, thank you so much! That’s what I thought, but on my way here I got into my own head and was freaking out that somehow I misremembered and it was actually due today. I am so forgetful sometimes, y’all are lifesavers, truly.”
Rosalie gave her a polite smile but didn’t seem inclined to talk further. Emmett on the other hand…
“It’s no problem! And I totally get it, I’d definitely forget all my assignments due dates if I didn’t have these guys to remember for me!” he jokingly boomed.
Aušra gave him an amused smile.
“That’s a really nice car. Yours?” she asked Rosalie. It wasn’t the same one Edward brought Wednesday, and it didn’t seem like Emmett’s ‘type’, so Aušra assumed it was hers.
Rosalie had a gentle smile on, obviously very pleased that someone knew the car was hers, “yes it is.” Her voice was soft —not quiet— but light and airy, in the way of someone who knew how much power they had (and didn’t need to flaunt it). Like a queen.
Score.
Aušra began to ask all possible questions about the car that she could think of. She didn’t know a ton of the nitty-gritty details but she had picked up enough over the years to be able to understand and contribute to conversations about them. And boy was she pulling out all the stops right now.
Emmett seemed content to stand by and watch his partner talk about one of her passions. And the way he looked at her—Ugh! The tenderness, pride, and love that was in his face— it nearly made Aušra melt. Angela was right, this man was completely and utterly besotted by Rosalie.
Edward however, was standing there very awkwardly as the girls chatted away. Aušra could feel him watching her, occasionally trying to get into her mind. Every time he did, she’d side-eye him with a slightly confused and concerned expression. He’d stop looking anytime she did, but the one time they made eye contact, she let one thing slip through:
‘Bitch.’
He got that stupid look on his face again, before he quickly schooled it into back into neutrality.
Aušra made herself look concerned as she turned her head and continued to look at him, “do I have something on my face or clothes?” she asked innocently, glancing at the other two vampires. “Why do you keep staring?” She asked Edward directly, hoping it came across as self-conscious.
And oh, if looks could kill, they’d have to call Chief Swan ‘cause Edward would be dead by his siblings’ hands.
Emmett reached around Rosalie and smacked Edward upside the head.
“Sorry about my brother… we’re not sure where he learned his manners from.” Emmett said pointedly.
“Heh heh… it’s okay… uh, well I’m gonna head inside now…” she nervously said while continuously glancing over at Edward, playing up the ‘innocent-girl-being-unnerved-by-someone creeping-on-her’ act. She turned on her heel and hastily headed inside.
She heard Rosalie whisper-yelling at Edward so she activated her hearing runes to catch what was being said.
“—not have one nice thing?! I finally have another girl wanting to talk cars with me and you go ahead and ruin it by being a effing creep! I’m telling Jasper so he can beat your ass— again! If Emmett doesn’t beat him to it!” was what Rosalie was hissing at him.
Aušra shut off the runes smiling to herself as she entered the building.
Aušra: 5, Edward: 0
———•<•>•———
Angela wasn’t at lunch due to some sort of appointment, so Aušra took her lunch break in the library again.
She pulled out her warding map to work on, picking up perfectly where she left off last night. She had been in The Zone for about ten minutes when she was snapped out of it by someone purposefully clearing their throat beside her. She startled, her hand instinctively covering up as much of the paper as possible. It was Jasper, he looked amused. His eyes flashed to her mouth for the briefest moments.
Aušra then realized a little bit of her tongue was still visible between her lips as she had unconsciously biting it while concentrating. It quickly retreated back into her mouth. She narrowed her eyes while arching a brow at him.
“Yes?…” she quietly asked, genuinely self-conscious as he continued to try to control the amused look on his face (she didn’t know what exactly about her was amusing him, and she didn’t want to).
“Can I join you?” he responded, with that kinda charminghalf-smile.
She watched him for a moment, trying to read his intentions. Figuring it would be weird to refuse him, she nodded and gestured to the seat beside her.
He sat down and pulled out a book, she was still watching him in confusion. He continued to ignore her (not in an impolite manner). She tried to go back to her map but couldn’t concentrate. Eventually, curiosity got the better of her and she asked, “what are you doing here?”
He looked up at her in surprise, as if he hadn’t known she was watching him. “Reading a book?” he answered purposefully dense.
Aušra briefly rolled her eyes, “you know what I mean Jasper… Why are you here, sitting next to me?”
Now it was his turn to look self-conscious. “I can leave…” he said, suddenly apprehensive.
“I never said you had to,” she reassured him, “I’m just confused.”
He looked relieved, “oh…I just came here to do some reading and saw you —I don’t know…” he shrugged.
“Oh. Okay…”
“I can go, if ya want…” he still sounded unsure.
“You only have to go if you want to.” Aušra gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile.
It seemed to work, as he returned her smile with a small one of his own.
Jasper went back to his book so —after confirming he was actually distracted reading— Aušra went back to her map.
It took her a minute to get back in the zone, but eventually she made it happen. But, only ten minutes later she was interrupted again.
“What’re ya workin’ on?” Jasper asked.
Aušra closed her eyes and sighed.
Gah! Annoying.
Why must I be interrupted? I know he can feel that I’m extremely concentrated right now.
Then it hit her what exactly she was working on, and who was asking her.
Shit. What’s a lie that’s not a lie?
“Personal project.”
“I figured, but what is it?”
“It’s, uh, a flow chart,” she prayed that that read as honesty, or at least honest enough for him to leave it be.
“Oh? —” he replied sounding interested.
Nooooooo!… s he internally whined.
“—what language is that? What kind of letters are those?”
She would gladly answer that question, over any others he could’ve asked, “oh, the letters are made up, it’s in code—”
“Ah, a substitution cipher. Fun.”
“Kinda? But not really?”
He looked confused at her correction, “how so?”
“The words are also encoded. I made it up when I was young” she explained.
Jasper was surprisingly interested in it and they spent the rest of lunch discussing it. She explained to him the basic concept of the code. He eagerly asked questions, which she happily answered. The conversation ended up shifting from her code to just encryptions in general. They even continued the discussion on the way to their next class.
Their conversations in biology were more subdued than the one in the library. (Although still pleasant). Jasper seemed to have shut himself off from her. Aušra wondered if she was responsible for his change, or if was a personal thing. Her anxiety kept telling her it was her fault. That she had offended him in some unknown way.
Fuck! What did I do? How do I fix it? How do I make him not hate me?
Stop it! It’s probably just him. Stop freaking out. It could also just be because we’re in class. We’re overreacting. Calm down!
Her own inner arguments did little to assuage her panic. She knew this was just her anxiety taking the situation and blowing it out of proportion, but knowing that didn’t do much to ease her racing mind.
All of a sudden, she felt this sense of peace lightly blanket over her. It was weird… it wasn’t from her and it wasn’t quite absorbing into her, just resting over her senses. She sat there for a moment puzzled at what the source could be when she happened to glance over at Jasper.
Oh duh, empath…This must be another facet of his gift. Interesting…
He looked back at her with a brief —but genuine— smile. She felt the feeling of peace being pushed against her ever so gently. But it still felt like it was being stopped by something. Maybe it was her mental shield? She tentatively relaxed her mind —just a hair— in the way that would allow things to enter, but still keep things from exiting —as Misha had taught her. When she felt the tiniest trickling of peace flow into her—showing she had been successful— she allowed her guard open even further. She had to resist closing her eyes as the sweet sensation flowed over her like a stream, washing away the bulk of her anxiety. It was… really pleasant.
Once she had her fill she slowly closed her mind back off. She can examine that freak-out later, when she’s alone and not under the watchful gaze of an empath. Or at school in general.
When there was a lull in the class Jasper turned to her, an unsure look on his face.
Please let him not ask about my earlier freak out.
“Aušra?”
“Yeah?…” she answered apprehensively.
He took a moment, searching for the words, “this might be weird—and you can totally say no—”
She fought to suppress the dread that was threatening to surface.
“—but my parents would like to meet you.” he was looking at her intently, gauging her reaction.
“Why?” she blurted out unthinkingly with genuine confusion. Carlisle had said that he wanted to meet her but she wasn’t sure if he’d actually do it.
Her response seemed to catch him off-guard.
He shrugged, “I don’t know, they want to get to know you? I just wanted to warn you.” he said unsure. He was either a really good actor, or very uncomfortable.
She needed to lighten the situation, even if just for her own sake.
“‘Warn me?’ Should I be afraid? What are they gonna do? Eat me?” she joked, patting herself on the back (metaphorically) for her ‘bad’ double entendre joke. It was dumb, but man, if it didn’t bring her a stupid kind joy.
Jasper let out a chuckle, but there was a brief nervousness about him (so slight she only noticed it because she was looking for it). “Nothing like that, just thought you’d appreciate the heads up.”
“Thank you, I do” she said genuinely, “how do they even know about me?” (she, of course, knew how they knew her, but she wanted to see what he’d say).
“Oh umm…” he looked like he was trying to hide his embarrassment, “you know…you might’ve come up a couple times in conversations…”
Oh, she was gonna tease (friendly) the hell out of him. It was amusing —she wasn’t sure if that was the best word— to watch him squirm.
“Oh have I?” she said with a smug smile, arching a brow. “Are y’all obsessed with me?” she paused for dramatics, “I’m flattered.”
Her words hit their mark. Was he blushing? He was blushing! It was subtle, a slight change of color from the cheeks. She could only see it because of her enhanced vision. It wasn’t the red you would see in someone with actual blood. It was just a slight warming in his cheeks. The palest metallic pink color as the venom in his veins pooled underneath the skin. It was an odd thing to witness —a vampire blushing. She couldn’t remember if she had ever seen a vampire blush before.
Jasper hadn’t responded yet, probably unsure how to.
“Do you know when?” she asked.
He snapped out his slight stupor, “no, I don’t. Carlisle has a semi-unpredictable schedule, so it’ll basically be whenever he has the opportunity. Sometime soon, I’d imagine.”
Aušra huffed, “great. The worst kind of surprise —an anticipated one.”
He raised an eyebrow at her, an amused look in his eyes, “how so?”
“First off, I hate surprises. Like loathe them.”
“All surprises?” he inquired.
“Nah, just most. I need to be able to prepare myself for things beforehand. Presents?—those are fine on the usual occasions— as long as they’re not over the top. But if someone threw me a surprise birthday party, I would not be able to enjoy myself because I would’ve had other things planned for my day —even if it was just doing nothing— and wouldn’t have been expecting to have to socialize with that many people! Hell, I might just straight up leave. I’d feel bad about ruining all their planning, but they should’ve known better.”
He huffed a small laugh, “so how do ‘anticipatory surprises’ work in?”
“Ugh… they’re way worse! Because now I know there’s a surprise coming, but don’t know what it is. So I know there’s something I need to prepare for but don’t know what I need to do to prepare! So I’m just going to be overthinking and worrying about it until it happens. It’s basically like someone texting you saying, ‘we need to talk’ and then just leaving you to stew in what it could be about! It’s awful. Like just fully surprise me at that point. Dont give me the surprise equivalent of a cliffhanger.” She let out a huff as she had gotten a bit too passionate about this. Jasper was trying to keep the amusement out of his face. “I have anxiety, if you couldn’t tell…” she said sarcastically.
He made a thoughtful noise, “yeah that makes sense.”
After a few moments of quiet Aušra spoke up, changing the subject, “y’all planning on doing something for Spirit Week?”
“My family?” he clarified. She nodded.
“Nah, probably not…” he said noncommittally, shrugging with one shoulder.
“Anything for Halloween?”
“Nope.” he responded, lightly popping the ‘p’.
“What are y’all, allergic to fun?” she asked baffled. She regretted it instantly. It came out much ruder than intended (which the intent was not to be rude at all). Why was she just saying whatever came to her dumb brain today?
He looked at her incredulously. His expression softened, probably feeling (and seeing) her heavy regret.
“Sorry…” she grimaced.
He let out a soft sigh, “it’s fine, we’re used to it.”
“That’s doesn’t make it okay for me to say those things. I’m not judging, by the way.”
He gave her a disbelieving look that practically said, ‘it sure seems like you are’.
She sighed, “I used to have similar things said about me, ya know?…” she took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. She was looking unfocused at the desk, not being able to look at the man next to her, “I’ve had so many unhappy things happen to me in my lifetime. And I believed that for some reason I was being punished by the cosmos or something for some unknown transgressions. And at some point I guess I just figured that I didn’t deserve to have fun, didn’t deserve to be happy, or to have joy or anything good in my life. Everyone else was meant to feel joy, but not me… I only deserved to be miserable, forever…” she didn’t mean for this conversation to take such a morose turn.
She turned to look at Jasper. His face was politely neutral but he was looking at her with such understanding haunting his gaze. Not just an empathic understanding, but a true understanding, one that only came from years of fighting those same feelings of worthlessness. He broke eye contact to look at the table as she had been.
She reprimanded herself internally, “sorry. I didn’t mean to be such a downer… I—I’ll shut up now.”
After a few moments of silence she shifted to face the front completely again. Now’s when the little voices in her head would start getting the best of her.
Great. If you hadn’t done anything to make him upset with you before, you sure have now. Idiot.
She was caught in her cycle of self-recrimination when she heard Jasper speak up.
“What did you do about it to help?” The way he asked the question hurt. She knew what he was actually asking was, ‘what can I do about it to help myself?’
Her mouth scrunched to the side and she bit the inside of her lip in thought. She wanted to give him a good answer. He didn’t know how much she understood his plight. She wasn’t just ‘some teen dealing with standard self-esteem issues’. No, she was someone who had been dealing with these same issues since before he was alive. Someone who knew how weird and lonely it could be being immortal. Even when around others like you. How even though she had lived for nearly 200 years she still often felt like that 24 year old young woman she had been before this fate befell her. She didn’t know what had happened to him in his past, but she knew what it was like to carry trauma for lifetimes.
She took a deep breath before starting.
“Honestly, I think I just realized that I was tired of just ‘being alive’ and I wanted to actually live. Realized that I have to make a conscious choice to live and be happy daily. I know that’s corny or whatever; but knowing I didn’t want to just exist anymore, but to take back the life that was stolen from me. That was what finally got me to start arguing with those voices in my head. The ones telling me that I worthless and pathetic, that I’d never be enough no matter how hard I tried, so why try? And things started getting better from there.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s not an easy path. Especially when you’ve been listening to those voices for as long as I have. They never really went away, but they eventually got easier to ignore. Easier to drown out with good voices.
“I also started treating myself as a friend.”
Jasper tilted his head, confused but interested. So she elaborated,
“Like when I catch myself doing negative self talk, I stop myself and ask ‘what would I do if someone was saying these things about a friend?’ Or ‘what if a friend was saying those things about themselves?’ And most of the time the answer is: I’d fight back for my friend and tell the other person off —physically chasing them away if it was necessary. Or tell my friend that they’re wrong and so loved and appreciated, that they mean so much to me, that they’re worth the time and effort.
“So, if I’d do that for a friend, then why shouldn’t I do the same thing for myself?
“It might seem a little dumb but I guess I just see a lot of myself in the decisions of you and your siblings to isolate yourselves from others. To not do fun things at school —which is totally valid if it’s truly just ‘not your thing’— but I know I used to tell myself that it ‘wasn’t my thing’ when in reality, I just wasn’t allowing myself to have fun. I was just punishing myself.
“So I know that doing —or not doing— Spirit Week or Halloween seems like something silly and frivolous of no consequence —which is technically true— but I dunno, I see them as small moments where I can choose to live and have meaningless fun. Life is too cruel to not take enjoyment in everything I can. So, I try and find every opportunity to steal back some of that happiness that it’s stolen from me……
“Does– does that make sense?”
She hoped it did, she was rambling again.
Jasper was looking at her, an unknown expression across his features… admiration maybe?
“Yeah, yeah I think it does…” he sounded awestruck, maybe that was his expression?
Aušra gave him a small smile in return.
———•<•>•———
Week one of school was over!
How had it been only one week? It felt like at least five. Aušra hoped the upcoming weeks would be better.
(We’re not thinking about that, nuh-uh, not jinxing ourselves again.)
She dropped her bag onto the dining table, then wandered over to the couch flopping down dramatically onto it. Tamsus was gallivanting around in the yard with a stick he found, so she had some quiet time. She needed to think about what that freak-out with Jasper was about. She draped her arm over her eyes, nose in the crook of her elbow.
Why had she been so worried about her doing something wrong and him hating her? Yeah, no one ever really wants to be hated or disliked, but Aušra knew it was a fact of life. Not everyone is going to like you. In fact, most people will just be neutral towards you.
She didn’t typically care what strangers thought about her, but then again Jasper wasn’t really a stranger to her. I mean, technically he was, she didn’t know anything about him, she just knew that she knew him at some point… was that why?
No… that didn’t feel correct.
She laid on the couch for a good while, sorting through her emotions and reactions trying to find ‘the Thing’ that would explain it.
When she did, it hit her like a fucking freight train.
It was her dumb abandonment issues again. She was getting attached to Jasper. Technically, she was already sort of ‘attached to him’, in a ‘friendly classmates’ way —which was safe— but it was in danger of becoming more than that. There was a slight panic inside her at the thought.
Did she even want to be friends with Jasper? He was kind and a good conversationalist, but those things alone do not a friendship make.
She stayed on the couch pondering this even after Tamsus came inside and laid down on the floor next to her. She eventually decided that yes, she would like to be friends with Jasper. But —and it was a big ‘but’— only if he initiated it. She would not push the boundaries of their ‘class friends’ relationship. She didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable or forced into anything; so, she would just follow his lead.
With that figured out she went about the rest of her evening.
Once homework and dinner were done she turned her attention to her warding map. It was nearly finished. It only took her 15 more minutes to finish it. So, she would’ve finished it during lunch if someone hadn’t continuously interrupted her (she wasn’t actually upset about it. The conversation they’d had made up for it).
With the warding map finished and plenty of time before bed, Aušra headed to down to her ‘witch-shop’.
Not all the wards she was going to place were able to be preprepared before being placed, but a good portion were. Tomorrow was going to be a long and busy day, so she was doing as much final prep work as possible tonight to make it less strenuous.
The processes were familiar and soothing to her, in a kind of repetitive way. Stuffing ingredients into containers, enchanting components, boil-sealing jars (in the same way you would for canning food), crushing plants, there was a lot that went into warding. Although, she was an overachiever and went well above and beyond what many other kerėtojos would. It was one of her magical specialties, after all.
She worked well into the night. She didn’t need as much sleep as a non-magical human would. In fact, she could go a few days without sleeping without incurring any major negative consequences (as long as her jėga wasn’t horribly imbalanced). She just really enjoyed sleeping, it was nice being able to just ‘shut off’ for multiple hours a day. (And it was less draining overall).
She wrapped up and brought everything she’d need tomorrow upstairs to her kitchen. She did a quick tidy of her ‘witch-shop’, changed into pjs, then headed to her computer to check her emails.
She had a few for computer coding work, two from Paul about some woodworking commissions he was offering to her, and one from a witch asking for help making their rune work.
She checked the two from Paul first, looking over the requests and the completion dates he wanted. They were both well within her capabilities (once her tools arrived tomorrow) and both gave an adequate amount of time for her to complete them. She shot him back a message accepting and asking for the exact specs. She messaged the witch back asking them her standard vetting questions. She left the coding ones for later.
She hunkered down in her bed and read until she fell asleep.
Notes:
For those wondering the 5Ws Aušra has on Edward are:
1)“Loser”
2)the “Parking Lot Incident”
3)Inadvertently getting Jasper to beat his ass after staring at her in the library
4)“bitch”
5)Having Rosalie threaten to sic Emmett and/or Jasper on him for ruining her nice conversation about cars.
Chapter 7: Edward Bonus Scenes pt.1
Summary:
Just Aušra’s tormenting of Edward from his POV
Notes:
Here’s the Edward POV as promised. It was going to be part of the next chapter but that one’s turning into a BEAST. So I decided to give y'all this as a treat cause the next one is gonna take a couple more days to finish and edit
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Edward drove into the school parking lot early Wednesday morning. He came alone, he didn’t want to have to deal with his siblings that morning. Last night had been… unpleasant. He didn’t expect everyone to ‘gang up’ on him for his actions.
He had been further reprimanded privately by Carlisle once Jasper and him got back from hunting. He had to admit that maybe his actions were a little rash and not fully thought through, but he still didn’t believe himself to be fully in the wrong.
He pulled in and parked close to one of the only other cars there. He was grateful for the heavy tint on his windows because it was Aušra. He rested his head on the steering wheel.
Just my luck. The other person I was hoping to avoid by arriving this early.
He heard her messing around with her radio. Maybe if he left now she wouldn’t notice him… He opened his door slightly and grabbed his backpack.
Music started playing from her car, he had to be quick. As he stepped out the track changed, the next song boomed from her speakers.
“THE WORLD IS A VAMPIRE.”
What?…
All comprehensive thought left him as he stood there, unsure if he was hallucinating. He only barely caught the next lyrics as his mind rebooted.
“SENT TO DRAIN.”
What is happening…??
“SECRET DESTROYERS.”
Does she know?? She can’t—can she?
Unwittingly, he turned towards the music. She wasn’t even looking at him! He stood there, unable to get his limbs to listen.
She noticed him looking, and faced him. He started panicking, he didn’t even know why. She smiled a little at him and waved self-consciously.
“HOLD YOU UP TO THE FLAMES.”
What did she know? What was her angle? Was there even an angle? There had to be—this couldn’t just be a coincidence. Now he really was sounding paranoid, but surely something was up with her. This was too much weird stuff for there to not be something unnatural about her.
He concentrated hard on her mind. What could she be thinking? He needed to know.
Oh God, she was saying something to him—when did she roll down her window? He needed to snap out of this now!
“Uh… hello?”
“Huh… what?” he managed to croak out.
Lovely I sound like an idiot.
“I said you’re Edward, Jasper’s brother right?” she said thankfully slow. His brain was still trying to process the rest of the situation.
“…yeah…?” he swears he’s usually much more articulate under pressure.
“Cool! It’s nice to meet you! My name’s Aušra.” she said oddly cheerful.
“Nice to meet you…” he shifted on his feet.
“Well…okay then… see ya later!”
Having been given an out, he took it. Whipping around he hastily headed inside.
That could not have gone any worse.
———•<•>•———
What was with him and parking lots lately?? Did he unknowingly anger some niche religion’s parking God?
Edward arrived in tow Friday morning at school with Rosalie and Emmett.
He hated this. He did not need to be babysat. His siblings had —in no uncertain terms— told him, that since he was ‘unable to be trusted’ because he ‘kept stalking the new girl’ —which, he wasn’t— so that he ‘was always to be accompanied at school besides in class’.
It was total BS.
They were standing beside their car when Edward saw Aušra step out of her car and start walking towards them. He groaned.
Emmett shot him a questioning look.
“Aušra’s coming over” he responded flatly.
“What do you think she wants?” his brother replied.
“I don’t know.” he answered, not bothering to keep the annoyance out of his voice.
When she called out to his siblings, they turned. Edward did not wish to get into (further) trouble with his siblings so he was just going to not even look at her.
Why were they even encouraging this conversation? It was something about some stupid computer science project.
Just as it seemed the conversation was at an end, Aušra asked Rosalie about her car.
Great.
He could hear Rosalie’s glee at the conversion topic. He was so bored, he just wanted to go inside…
For entertainment practice and academic curiosity he tried to read her mind. Once again, he was met with a massive force of resistance. She glanced over at him. He quickly looked somewhere else.
Huh…? Does she—No. That’s impossible.
A short while later he tried again. And again nothing happened, but she did look over at him again. It was fast, nothing more than a quick flick of the eyes, but she was definitely doing it.
He tried a few more times, each time resulting in the same. She kept looking at him whenever he tried…
‘Why does she?—Edward whatever you’re doing stop it, or so help me.’
He ignored Rosalie’s warning.
Does Aušra know? She can’t. Can she? No. That’s impossible. It’s just a coincidence. A really weird coincidence…
‘EDWARD…’ Emmett thought in warning.
He glanced at his brother displeased. He had been mostly tuning them out.
He had to try one more time… he really concentrated this time and…
it didn’t work. But she looked at him again, their gazes locking for just a moment, and he heard —in Aušra’s voice—clear as a bell:
‘Bitch.’
It was said with such a tone that was somehow both exasperated and an insult. It was kind of impressive.
His face screwed up in shock, before he got it back under control.
What the hell? This is just like Tuesday in the cafeteria! Is she doing it on purpose? What is happening with this girl?? Was she even a girl—(as in human)?
“Do I have something on my face?” Aušra asked letting out a nervous laugh, looking between his siblings.
“…Why do you keep staring?” she hesitantly asked him.
‘Eds! What the hell dude! What did I say!’
‘Edward!’
His siblings reprimanded him mentally. Emmett sounded exasperated but Rosalie was seething. He tentatively looked at his siblings. They were staring him down with murder in their eyes—as well as in Rosalie’s thoughts.
He went to roll his eyes, then thought better of it.
‘I’m gonna smack you upside the head. Mostly because you deserve it, seriously dude, Not. Cool. Also, for her sake, so you better not move.’
Emmett reached around Rosalie —who was still absolutely seething in her thoughts— and smacked him on the back of the head, as promised. It hurt, a lot actually, but he wasn’t going to show any of them that.
“Sorry about my brother… we’re not sure where he learned his manners from.” Emmet said pointedly. (‘For being with Carlisle the longest you’d think he’d be more respectful. But he really can be such an ass.’)
Edward shot a glare towards Emmett.
“Heh heh… it’s okay…uh, well I’m gonna head inside now…” she looked genuinely unnerved and a little scared… crap, was he really the one being weird? Now he wasn’t so sure he was in the right…
No!
She’s the one with all the weird stuff going on. She hurt Alice!
…I mean, she probably didn’t have control over it… but maybe but that makes her more dangerous! She could start ‘accidentally’ hurting others in the family! No. No. I am not in the wrong for being cautious and wanting to protect us.
He assured himself.
‘Liar’ that little annoying voice echoed inside him. He ignored it.
Rosalie whipped towards him. Uh oh, he braced himself for the full wrath of her ire.
“Edward! What the hell was that! Can I not have one nice thing?! I finally have another girl wanting to talk cars with me (‘making me feel a little human again!’) and you go ahead and ruin it by being a effing creep! I’m telling Jasper so he can beat your ass— again! If Emmett doesn’t beat him to it!”
Again he stopped himself from rolling his eyes.
Ugh…She’s so dramatic
Notes:
It’s pretty short but hope y’all enjoyed! I had fun writing this. I’ll probably scatter a few more of Aušra’s ‘torture’ from his POV as they happen. As I said at the beginning, next chapter’s shaping up to be a beast but I don’t feel like splitting it soo… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Chapter 8: Act Normal…Oops, Too Late! Now They Know You’re Weird
Summary:
Aušra has a good Saturday. She sets up some wards. Gets a delivery. Has some fun in the woods. She is really getting tired of these unexpected visitors though.
Life is testing Jasper. He’s only a little okay with it this time.
Notes:
First. OMG!!! THANK YALL SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR COMMENTS LAST CHAPTER!! ♥️🥰🥰. Those really keep me going! I get so giddy anytime I get a notification!!
this was actually supposed to be part of chapter 6 but that was already too long and adding this would’ve made it a monster so I decided to split them.
Also I have decided that it’s not worth my time to try and find music that fits for the time period so we’re just gonna hand wave the time frame for songs and bands okay? Same with exact technology though a bit stricter. I’m gonna keep to the general time frame (so I’m not gonna give people smart phones or Bluetooth bone conduction headphones but like I don’t care if mp3s couldn’t actually make playlists at that time) cause if I start having to research cellular network ranges, international texting shit, and exactly what was available on the internet at that time I’m gonna get stuck. (read as: my brain is weird and I gotta do this to continue writing and keep that dopamine flowing).
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Aušra awoke bright and early Saturday morning. Well, ‘bright’ would be a misnomer as there was no sign of first light yet. She stretched (that nice early morning kind where you just sort of tense every muscle) and checked her alarm clock, 07:03. She was so close to the edge of the bed that there was a real danger of falling off. She attempted to roll over onto her back but was obstructed by something behind her. She shuffled around to see what it was. To no one’s surprise, it was Tamsus, lying right next to her, on his back, one front leg fully straight up in the air, the other flopped down naturally, back legs spread with his feet in her face. He was snoring occasionally (but loudly). Aušra observed the four feet of extra bed beyond him with fond annoyance.
And he says he’s not goofy.
She rolled her eyes and huffed good-naturedly. She took a finger and tickled in between his paw pads. His foot gave a twitchy kick, but he otherwise stayed asleep. She tried again, being more aggressive this time, but to the same results. She huffed and rolled out of bed, shuffling off to the attached bathroom.
After showering, she pulled on some of her working clothes, braided across her hairline throwing the rest into a ponytail. She exited the bathroom to see Tamsus still on the bed, in the same position as when she left. She took the bundle of socks in her hand and chucked them at his unconscious form.
“Wakey-wakey, Tamsus!” she yelled, the socks bouncing off his chest.
He startled awake, then very gracefully (aka flailed around struggling) flipped himself over onto his stomach. Aušra could feel his panic and disorientedness through their bond.
‘That was very rude of you…’ he pouted, once he got his bearings.
«No. ‘Rude’ is not giving me any space in the bed, and nearly pushing me off said bed at night, you greedy bed hog,” she playfully snapped back.
He just grumbled in response. She turned on her heel and started out of the room, calling behind on her way down the stairs, «I’m making breakfast, if you don’t hurry up I’ll eat it all!»
‘You would not!’ he said, trying to call her bluff.
«Watch me!»
She heard him jump off the bed and bolt to the door. She moved herself off to one side of the staircase just in time as he barreled past her. She let out a noise of affront.
«Rude.»
She felt his mirth as he sat perfectly at the bottom of the stairs wagging his tail furiously. He looked the picture of innocence, as if he hadn’t just damn near trampled her. The smug bastard.
She arched an eyebrow, shooting back some of her own amusement at him.
«Maybe I shouldn’t give you any food just for that show you just put on?»
His tail stopped mid wag, face drooping as he let out the tiniest of whines.
‘You would let me starve?’ he conjured up his best ‘pathetic-puppy-dog-eyes’ (which considering he was a dog, were very good).
She rolled her eyes rounding the corner heading to the kitchen, «Please, we both know you have to eat less than me Tamsie, probably not at all! You eat for the same reasons I do—‘cause you want to.»
He let out a low grumble, and Aušra felt his attitude of ‘you’re technically right but I’m not conceding my original position’.
With breakfast made, eaten, and the mess cleaned up, Aušra stretched then turned to Tamsus.
‘Hey, could you do a quick perimeter check, make sure no one’s watching? I’m going to finish the last few things needed for the wards before we start burying them.’
He stood up, stretched, then padded off to the back door.
Aušra grouped the containers by ward, then started enchanting the ones that needed it.
Ten minutes later Tamsus came back inside with the all clear.
‘No vampires, all their scents are still stale.’
«Okay, thank you,» she moved three little wooden boxes to the edge of the table and picked up the warding map, «we’re doing the Disinterest Wards first. They go here, here, and here,» she pointed out the locations on the map. «If you could bring them to their spots and start digging? They’ll need to be covered by about six inches of dirt.»
Tamsus studied the map intensely before taking a box in his mouth and trotting out the door. She returned to enchanting. When he came back for the second box, Aušra was done enchanting, so she grabbed the third, donned her work boots and headed out with him.
She left the box at its intended place then went to the first hole Tamsus had already dug.
She took the box, knelt, and placed it into the hole. Not breaking contact, she closed her eyes, focusing on the flowing energy wells beneath the soil. Using her free left hand to create the motion, she started pulling the energy up, creating a (non-physical) pathway. Misha had always called the motion ‘milking’ but Aušra disliked that use of the word. She had milked many animals in her life, and never had she used this sort of hand movement to do it. She liked to call it ‘jellyfishing’ because it looked like the pulsing motion of a moving jellyfish.
Once she felt the energy flowing unobstructed to her right hand, she tethered it to the box, ensuring that it would not slip back down. She repeated this process with the other two wards.
Once all three were connected to the energy wells they went around and covered them back up with dirt. Aušra did a quick spell at each location reverting any soil, moss, or tufts of grass back into looking undisturbed.
With the Disinterest Ward done (or as she liked to call it ‘Nothing-Witchy-To-See-Here’) she felt much better moving forward. She knew she was at some point going to be interrupted by movers, and those wards would keep anyone who didn’t know she was a witch (especially any possible creeping vampires —cough, cough Edward) completely oblivious to anything ‘witchy’ happening around her property. They’d just rationalize it to the mundane thing that made the most sense to them.
The other wards were done in a similar manner. Dig, place, (possibly enchant), pull, tether, bury, then make it look like nothing happened.
There were, of course, a few hiccups along the way. There always are, there’s nothing that can really be done to avoid it. Even though she had meticulously planned every single aspect down to the iota, something would almost always have to be modified. That was just how magic (and life in general) worked.
(Aušra considered herself to be rather adaptable. Look how well she took having a stupid large coven of vampires unexpectedly living in her territory. Their existence messed up her plans for the next three years. (She had planned for the possibility of shapeshifters, but as she hadn’t felt any traces during her initial survey, she supposed they must’ve all died off or relocated). Her anxiety absolutely hated most change in any form, but Aušra had long ago resigned herself to always having things changing. The world around her is constantly in flux and she can either choose to always be fighting the change —and risk going mad— or accept them, go with the flow, and just deal with her anxiety the best she can. And dealing with the anxiety meant controlling everything she could and having plans and backup plans for everything she couldn’t. It was a little exhausting, but what can you do?)
This little hiccup was an easy and anticipated change. Some spots didn’t have quite as much jėga available to them as expected, so some wards needed to be shuffled around to work. She had already had multiple workable back up warding maps in her head, so it just a matter of doing some mental calculations and making the necessary switches.
All in all, warding took her to about 13:00. She was technically ahead of schedule. She’d need to check on them in a few hours now that the energy was running through them interconnected, to confirm it was flowing properly and uninhibited.
She was tired —more mentally than physically. Pulling and tethering all that jėga had been draining, to say the least. Aušra wanted to take a nap, but there was still much to be done. Luckily for her —or perhaps unluckily, because she really wanted that nap— the movers with all her woodworking equipment showed up only ten minutes after she finished warding.
She had a good amount of machinery that that would need to be set up after they unloaded it. Lucky for the movers, she kept most of her larger and heavy equipment (at least the ones she could do so safely) on pallet jack-able platforms for easy moving.
She already had a place designated for everything (doing the same thing for hundreds of years really helps you find an optimized setup) she stayed in the garage directing them to the correct spots as they brought in each piece. She was working on unpacking all her hand and power tools (anything that could fix in a box really). Every tool had its home, organized in a way that probably only made perfect sense to her. She needed her workspaces to be meticulously organized. If they weren’t she’d lose everything (she had a very bad habit of putting things down and forgetting where when she was working).
When she was done putting all her tools in their homes, Aušra exited the wood shop. She wanted to talk to the movers but they were in the truck getting another machine. So, she went inside and changed into some athletic clothes (biking shorts and a cut-off t-shirt. No need to change her bra she almost never wore anything other than a sports bra). She grabbed four 20-dollar bills from her bag, put on her sneakers, then headed back out to the wood shop .
The movers only had two more things to unload. Aušra handed each one of them their 20 dollar tip, thanked them, and told them to shut the garage door when they were done.
Tamsus padded up next to her.
‘Where are you going?’
‘We’re going to the creek you found, and then to say hello to the bats on our property, as promised.’
He squealed in delight and started prancing in circles around her.
She rolled her eyes but giggled at him. Then, she broke out into a jog, leaving him behind for a second.
“You gotta lead the way dude,” she called back to him, laughing a little by his dumbfounded face.
He caught up her and easily fell into pace with her. (Technically a few steps ahead, as he was leading). Aušra took the time to take in and really appreciate her property. It was gorgeous. Large firs and pines of all kinds, red cedars, big leaf maples, and alders littered the forest. The ground was slightly spongy with leaf litter and moss. The state of near constant dew and raindrops on the leaves made thousands of mini rainbows to her heightened vision. There were all kinds of fungi scattered about. She jumped onto a fallen log in her path. Breathing the cool humid air deep into her lungs.
God, she felt like a little kid again. Running through the woods surrounding her childhood home. Chasing her cousins that grew to be more like brothers to her. Tackling each other into the mud on accident (the tackling was on purpose, the mud part was the accident). Coming home for dinner completely filthy, but absolutely beaming because she ‘bested the boys.’ Getting scolded by her grandma for tracking dirt inside. Having her mom commend her for her ‘excellent battle prowess’ while she bathed.
The forts her and her cousins would build out of fallen branches. Playing ‘soldier’ with sticks. Collecting rocks. Going swimming and fishing as a family in Lake Sartų.
Her father’s tired smile when he would come back from work. The way he’d spin her around in the air, even when she got far too big for him to do so easily. Her grandfather’s conspiratorial looks when he’d sneak her extra treats from the kitchen.
Sitting around the fireplace at night learning to weave or knit or sew from her mother and grandma. Her inexperienced fingers fumbling and messing up, but slowly making progress. The stories her parents and grandparents would tell. She had always loved the ones her father would tell about America. She never did ask him why he came to Lithuania in the first place…
Aušra was hit with these bittersweet bricks of memories. She felt her heart grow heavy. Tears started forming unbidden in her eyes. She tilted her head up blinking them away. She picked up the pace, going to a full-on run. Tamsus was running—mouth wide open, tongue hanging out—beside her. She focused on the positive emotions that were emanating from their bond. He loved to run, the faster the better.
When they got to the creek Aušra was half soaked in sweat. She was breathing deeply but wasn’t quite out of breath — thank you breathing runes.
The ravine the creek was contained in was about ten feet across and about four feet deep (at least at the specific spot they were at). The creek itself was between four and six feet wide and looked to be maybe just below the knee at the deepest.
Ferns, mosses and small shrubs engulfed the embankments. Exposed tree roots desperately trying to not lose anymore soil to the relentless flow of water. She could see little silvery minnows or guppies—she didn’t know what they were, just that they were about finger sized at the largest— hanging out in an area with a slower current.
It was beautiful. Peaceful. She closed her eyes for a moment just to feel the place. Feel the humming of Life all around her. Gentle burbling sound of the creek. Soft swishing of leaves. Near silent groans of tree trunks as the swayed in the breeze. Quiet chittering of animals in the trees—likely squirrels— preparing for the upcoming winter. Tiny pulses of animal life under the soil. Subtle buzzing of insects around her.
She allowed the essence of each of those things to seep into her. Filling her with contentment. Allowing it to soothe the residual heartache of Home.
Aušra removed her socks and shoes —leaving them at the top of the embankment— and scampered down into the water. It was frigid, but felt so good against her overheated skin.
Tamsus mostly stayed on the ‘shores,’ knowing that if he went swimming she’d likely make him take a bath. She could feel his wistfulness as he looked at her in the water. So, when he got a little too close to the water’s edge she splashed him with as much water as she could physically manage.
He let out a startled yelp. Aušra’s hand flew up in a failed attempt to cover up her snort. He should not have been able to make such a high pitch noise, he almost sounded like a chihuahua.
Tamsus stood there, stock-still, gawking at her. Well, as much as one can gawk with a dog face.
“You looked dirty, I was just trying to clean you off.” she teased, stifling another laugh.
He stood there still stunned. He finally snapped out of his shock a few moments later.
‘I looked dirty!? No! You look dirty!’ h e roared while leaping into the water right next to her.
Aušra squealed in delight as he ‘cannonballed’ next to her, soaking her with a substantial amount of water. (Far more than she had hit him with).
They played in the creek splashing and chasing each other. Tamsus used his head like a shovel —sticking it under the water and then swinging it upwards— or reared up then forcefully fell down in order to splash her. They calmed down after a little, both laughing. His tail was wet and was flinging water this way and that as it wagged furiously.
Aušra did a little ‘rock collecting,’ picking out some pretty pebbles from the bottom. She also gathered some aquatic snails and a few specific fern fronds while they were out there.
They wandered around for a bit looking for any bat roosts but unfortunately couldn’t find any.
‘Can we run back? It was really fun!’
Aušra couldn’t think of any reason not to, so agreed. She didn’t bother to put her socks or shoes back on. It wouldn’t matter, either her natural callouses would protect her feet, or the runes on her heels would. She booked it. Trying to push her body to its limit. See if she could make herself winded. She almost did, which was a good indicator that she needed to start running/exercising more regularly again. She had gotten lax about it the last couple of months because of the move, but now that she was ‘settled’ she needed to get back into it. She couldn’t afford to not be at her peak. (It also helped a bit with her anxiety but that was a minor reason).
Unfortunately, sprinting made her even more tired than before. Astonishing, truly. Completely unexpected, even.
She washed her feet before entering the house. Bringing her finds to the basement, she left the rocks on a work table, hung up the ferns to dry and put the snails in a tiny aquarium she had.
She returned upstairs and saw that an adequate amount of time had passed, so she could check on the warding flow now.
She grabbed her mp3 player and headphones (she wanted some entertainment) and climbed out the second story window that led to the porch roof. From there she made her way up to the actual roof.
Once there, Aušra walked the perimeter, making sure they had hidden all the holes. Satisfied, she moved onto her next task.
She cast a quick incantation that would allow her to better see the jėga. Slowly, the flow became visible as ribbons of light. It looked very similar to the aurora borealis, just on a much smaller scale. They formed multiple continuous loops around the house. Seemingly random shapes and patterns that made perfect sense to her. Interconnected with each other like a spiders web. Some moving rapidly, others floating gently, lazily. They shimmered as they moved, shifting colors occasionally. It was mesmerizing.
Damn, she was good. She wasn’t one to brag or boast, but somethings were just undeniable facts. She didn’t know of anyone else who warded like she did —interconnecting them to such a degree. Most witches would just bury and tether them to some jėga. A few she had known to connect the same type of ward to each other. But she couldn’t think of one person who connected similar but non-same types of wards. Allowing their energies to amplify and strengthen each other. Like weaving a tapestry of magic. She had originally gotten the idea a few years in to her studies of runes —which she also did very differently than any witch known. She was actually the foremost leader of the specialty (really the only one who made it their specialty). It wasn’t a common practice in general, many witches still believed that runes were ‘inferior to actual spells’. And to be fair, many of the commonly known runes were. They read the old tomes and papers and all they saw was an old, second-rate, weaker, more complicated way to do magic. But Aušra was an innovator, and she had seen the untapped potential in the dying practice. The ability to have permanent effects that wouldn’t need to be recast frequently to maintain their strength. The possibility to have them be completely self-sustaining through outside jėga. She just needed to figure it out. And one thing Aušra loved was a mental challenge (and proving people wrong. Spite had gotten her rather far in life). Even when some witches began to see the potential she brought out of it, many didn’t have the brain for it. She had tried to teach it to a few. To find an apprentice or partner. They all seemed to struggle somehow. It never really ‘clicked’ for any of them.
The point was that she did wards differently (in her opinion better). Perhaps, more complicated than necessary, but also more powerful. Harder to get around, or to null.
She meticulously watched and felt each connection, ensuring everything was flowing as it should. There were a few connections that were ‘gunked up’ and it took some finagling to get them cleared —like cleaning leaves out of the gutters she thought — but it actually didn’t take her as long as she’d expected. Once all links had been throughly checked and rechecked —satisfying the witch’s fastidiousness— she sat down crisscross on the roof staring out into her backyard. She could feel the familiar thrumming and light pulsating of the wards around her. It was comforting. Her house was feeling less and less dead by the day.
(Before she had moved in, it had been a long while since anyone had lived there. Long enough that any residual ‘signs of life’ had long since faded from the place. It left it feeling empty, hollow. It felt sad…)
(Being a witch made her extra sensitive to those changes but even non-witches could feel the lack of ‘homey-ness’ in buildings sometimes. The absence of that ‘spark of life’ is why abandoned buildings feel so weird and uncanny. Why they tend to have an ominous presence even to non-magic users. It’s unnatural. But the more she made the house hers, filled it with things from her life, the more alive it felt.)
Aušra had nothing else planned for the day except maybe some cleaning up, she had planned on grocery shopping but was too tired for that now. She always overestimated how much energy she’d have when making plans in advance. She did the same thing with time —never accurately guessing how long tasks would take unless she’d done them thousands of times before. She could grocery shop and meal prep tomorrow.
She put on her headphones and picked a playlist. She watched the light of the flowing jėga flicker and dance across her yard, entranced at the show. It whorled and dipped and scintillated in absolutely hypnotic patterns. It was soothing, like watching a crackling fire, or waves crash against a beach. Naturally soothing in its rhythmicality. Aušra’s eyes were growing heavy. Every time she blinked it took more and more effort to open them again. She had the barely-conscious thought that she should probably go inside for a nap. But she was too sleepy to heed it. She opened her eyes to the clouds. When had she laid down?… She didn’t remember doing that… she was still cross legged, she huffed the tiniest laugh… she could feel the barest hint of the sun’s warmth through the cloud cover… thinking of warmth, she would need to cut up and stack some firewood for the wood stove… she needed to remem…
And she slipped into unconsciousness.
———•<•>•———
Jasper was painting. Well, attempting to paint. He had been out on the rooftop balcony for more than an hour and still hadn’t accomplished anything more than a few brush strokes. He was getting frustrated. One good thing was Edward was out shopping with Esme so, at least he didn’t have to try and suppress what he was thinking about.
He couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday.
About him and Aušra in the library. At how she looked when he startled her from concentrated state (even though she had been annoyed). How her tongue peeked out just the tiniest bit between her lips. How easily the conversation flowed between them. How one’s excitement fed the other’s. The fact that she didn’t get bored even when he brought up niche topics that she didn’t fully understand. He had felt so good about himself. She had helped feel so good about himself, treating him like he mattered. Treating him like a friend. He had felt seen. She wasn’t trying to get something from him. He felt just a little bit normal again… human.
Then it all came crashing down when they reached class. The remembrance that nothing good could come of it. That the risk was too high for the reward. (Lie). She could find out about his family, not take it well and expose them.
Even if she find out and took it well, what then? She becomes a vampire? Because she’d have to, or risk be killed by the Volturi. He couldn’t do that to her —to anyone really. Couldn’t condemn her to the curse immortality. Even if somehow everything fell into place perfectly and she became a vampire… she’d probably run or hate him when she found out what he’d done in the past —he sure did. All the innocents he killed because he wasn’t strong enough to leave. Because he was too stupid to realize that She was manipulating him, taking advantage of him. He didn’t deserve to have friends with what he’d done. Hell, he still didn’t fully understand why Carlisle kept him around after all his fuck-ups. Or why Alice was so determined to be friends with him in the beginning, when he was even worse off…suicidal, homicidal, constantly failing to not eat humans, but she still stuck around. Told him that it was okay to fail (he didn’t believe her and still sort of doesn’t… failure=weakness, and weakness gets you killed—or worse) that he just needed to keep on trying. He’d already been given far more than he ever deserved in this life. He couldn’t be selfish and want more. He didn’t deserve her friendship.
Like he said, no good could come of them becoming friends. Or at least closer friends than they were now. What they were now was… acceptable. Safe.
Yeah… He needn’t cut her out completely, he could still enjoy her company. But it couldn’t go past the ‘friendly classmates’ thing they had now.
So…he had dialed back his enthusiasm and energy during biology class. He thought he had been successful in being somewhat subtle about it, but then he started feeling the unsurety and anxiety bubbling up inside of her. Followed by the sharp barbs of self-recrimination. He had quickly pushed calm into her—it took a second to ‘sink in’, which was odd but it did the trick.
The one part he was continuously playing again in his head though, was when she was talking about her issues of self worth.
Man, if that hadn’t tore him open. It was eating up from the inside out in a manner he couldn’t quite place. The things she had said about herself had resonated so perfectly with what he thought about himself. How could someone so young, understand so well? The way he felt like she knew —somehow— what he had been thinking earlier when he was pulling away from her. The utter rawness of her emotions in that moment had caught him off guard. She felt so open and knowable but at the same time so unknowable. Once again, he felt seen by her in the oddest of ways.
Jasper groaned. He had done it again, thinking instead of painting. He gave up for the night. Wrapping up his pallet and picking up his easel and canvas he headed back inside. Emmett and Rosalie were out hunting, and Carlisle was still at the hospital so it was just him and Alice in the house.
Stuff put away, Jasper went to Alice’s closet. Well, technically, it was an entire room that she used as a closet-sewing room combo. He wasn’t even at the door when he heard her cheerfully call over the rhythmic clacking of the sewing machine, “come on in!”
He entered, then plopped himself down sideways on the dark purple couch.
Even for a loveseat it was on the smaller side. The seating part could really only fit his upper half, making his legs drape over the armrest.
“It’s a little early for you to have quit painting already… what’s bothering you Jazz?” Alice asked, continuing to sew.
He groaned only somewhat for the dramatics. Alice always found it amusing when he gave into his ‘diva side’ as she called it. In reality it was just that he felt comfortable and safe enough to show more ‘unpleasant’ emotions around her.
“I can’t stop thinking about yesterday…”
She hummed in response allowing him to elaborate, “about Aušra…” he didn’t miss the spike of interest and excitement that she tried to smother.
“you want to talk about it?” she said casually, with an air of neutrality like he couldn’t tell how much she wanted him to.
“I—I don’t know…” he breathed. He really didn’t. Part of him was tired of thinking about it, but the other part felt like maybe if he talked about it aloud he could get it out of his system…
The whirring of the machine stopped. Jasper opened his eyes and glanced over at Alice, she had that familiar distant look in her eyes. He closed his eyes again. Moments later a shadow fell across his face. Alice was leaning over the armrest, her head right above his.
“You’d feel better if you did…” she said in her slightly sing-song voice. He was thinking it over when she added, “we have plenty of time before anyone gets home.”
He sighed and sat up, angling himself into the corner of the couch, pulling one leg under the other. Alice practically vibrated with excitement as she took the spot next to him, crossing her legs underneath her.
He took another deep sigh —mostly to buy time to organize his thoughts— before he started. He recounted most of their interaction, some parts verbatim, others more summarized. He told Alice how understanding Aušra had felt. How she spoke with such a confidence that no 16 year old should possess (though that also could just be trauma, he supposed). He kept somethings to himself —like his own thoughts of unworthiness, as they’d just upset her, and he didn’t want to get into that conversation today.
Alice didn’t say anything the entire time he spoke, giving him her undivided attention. When he finished she spoke up, “do you really think it’s such a bad idea to be friends with her?”
“I don’t think it’s worth the risk…”
Alice shot him a look —along with a hefty dose of skepticism— but otherwise said nothing. How well they could read each other was a double-edged sword.
He did feel better after talking about it though.
Alice eventually went back to her sewing project, but Jasper didn’t feel like painting anymore. He stayed on her couch for the company. She chattered away filling the silence, which Jasper was extremely grateful for. Alice always did know when he needed silence and when it would make things worse. He wasn’t entirely convinced that it was because of her gift though… she just seemed to get him. They understood each other. Even though they had only known each other for a few years before the rest of the Cullens, those years had been… rough —mostly because of him. Those years had really cemented their bond into the unbreakable thing it was today.
“Would—do you wanna do spirit week with me?” Jasper suddenly asked. He wasn’t sure who was more shocked, himself or Alice. He was inclined to say himself mostly because he wasn’t sure where that came from.
Alice recovered from her surprise quickly and squealed, “really?”
Jasper took a second to think about it. He supposed It couldn’t hurt to dress up. He had never done anything like this before, so he didn’t know if he’d actually enjoy it. But if the deluge of positive emotions pouring out of Alice were any indication, she’d definitely enjoy it, and that was good enough for him.
“Yeah, why not.” he replied, strengthening his own resolve.
Alice spent the rest of their time together zipping about her closet (and running to his) pulling out possible outfits that would fit the themes.
Carlisle was —somewhat surprisingly— home before everyone else. They heard his car coming up the driveway.
Alice paused mid-zoom, her eyes going hazy. When they cleared she had a sly smile on her face. She glanced over at Jasper, then her eyes went hazy again, this time for longer. When she came out of her visions again Jasper was still watching her in confused amusement.
“Have you something you wish to share with the class?” he inquired teasingly.
Her smile grew. “Yes, in fact, I do,” she said in friendly challenge.
His own amusement grew in turn, “please, pray tell.”
Alice was trying to keep a serious face and failing. “Carlisle’s going to ask you to do something, I think you should say yes,” she said cryptically.
He arched a brow, “okay…?”
“That’s all you’re getting out of me!” she said beaming. She made the gesture of zipping her lips and throwing away the key.
Just as he was about to press her for more, Jasper heard the front door open and Carlisle call out his name.
He left Alice’s room to respond (Esme didn’t like them having conversations across the house). “Yes sir?” he called over the bannister.
“Meet me in my office, would you?”
Jasper nodded.
———•<•>•———
The universe had its ways of testing him.
Carlisle and Jasper were in the car, on their way to Aušra’s house. To talk with her. Jasper wasn’t quite sure how it happened, technically he knew, but still couldn’t believe it.
It just felt like one moment him and Carlisle were just chatting, and the next he had been somehow bamboozled into this. He had protested at first saying that Esme should be the one going with Carlisle like originally planned. But, apparently, Esme felt that Edward —the bastard— needed some more one-on-one time and attention from her —believing that was a possible cause for his ‘outbursts’— so she had extended their outing. Carlisle wasn’t sure when the next time he would be home at a reasonable hour was, so he wanted to take advantage of the opportunity.
Jasper had tried using other excuses like ‘wouldn’t Aušra be more comfortable with another girl —like Alice— being there?’ But every counter Carlisle gave was valid and strategically sound.
Aušra did know Jasper the best of the coven, and was relatively comfortable around him. And he would be able to ease any discomfort that might arise with their presence, along with being able to tell if she was being deceptive with them. And bringing Alice along as well would likely make her feel more uncomfortable than less, because she’d probably feel more outnumbered. So he had acquiesced… reluctantly.
The ride wasn’t long, she actually lived relatively close to them.
They pulled up the surprisingly smooth, long gravel driveway. The trees and underbrush were dense enough that he couldn’t really make out the house until they got pretty close. The trees thinned out significantly around the ‘yard’ which was mostly moss and dirt because even thinned out, the tree canopy still blocked out most of meager sunlight Forks did get.
The house itself was…quaint. Not in a derogatory way, it was old fashioned, to be sure —nothing like the modern style Esme preferred— but it felt homey just by looking at it. The once (probably) vibrant blue paint was old and weather worn, making it more of a dull blue-grey. There was a significant amount of bushes and shrubs —and one could assume flowers if it were spring— along the front, following the covered wrap-around porch. The porch went along the left side of the house to what looked like a screened in patio. A large trellis was attached to the side of the house that didn’t have the porch, and it was absolutely engulfed in an ivy of some sort.
It gave off very rustic farmhouse vibes. Jasper thought he liked it.
“Well, we’re here.” Carlisle stated the obvious, putting the car in park.
“That we are…” Jasper responded, unsure what else to say. He paused for a moment before making himself step out of the car.
———•<•>•———
Aušra was awoken by the sound of Tamsus panicking in her mind.
‘—ŠRA! AUŠRA! AUŠRA! AUŠRA!’
‘hmmn?’
‘FINALLY! I have been trying to wake you! You were sleeping like the dead!’
She blinked blearily, ‘I’m awake now, what is it?’
She only vaguely registered the sound of car doors shutting.
‘The vampires are here!’
That snapped her out of any remaining post-nap fogginess. She bolted upright.
Shit I’m still on the roof.
‘Which ones? All of them?’
‘No, I just smell two. One smells familiar the other does not.’
Okay, so probably one of the boys and someone else—possibly Carlisle?— she could handle that.
‘What would you like me to do? I am in the backyard still.’ Tamsus asked.
‘Just stay put for now. I can handle it.’
She silently creeped up to the ridge to peek over. It was Jasper and Carlisle. They had barely moved away from their car. Both pairs of eyes met hers. She instinctively ducked away, back behind the ridge.
Of course they saw me immediately…
Well there was nothing to do about it now… After confirming all her body runes were covered by her current outfit, she stood up.
They, of course, were stock still, watching her as she rose from behind the ridge. Jasper looked slightly amused, Carlisle looked horrifically petrified .
She casually walked down the slope of the roof, jumping down the five or so feet to the porch’s roof when she reached the edge. She wasn’t looking at them, keeping her eyes on her feet. Once she landed on the porch roof she looked back up at them. Both of their eyes had gone wide.
Power move: jump off the porch roof!
Okay, that was a very funny intrusive thought… it was only like 12 feet to the ground, normal humans could survive that uninjured, right? Yeah, they definitely could. She knew how to properly land too, so it wouldn’t be weird that she didn’t break any bones or something. Too bad Edward wasn’t there, it would probably freak him out more too. Those thoughts took less than a second.
She started to walk forward towards the edge, but only made it a step before she was then hit by a huge wave of discouragement. She stopped and looked at them again, both were even more tense than before (understandably), Carlisle was staring at her with horrified concern. She wanted to laugh, if only they knew… Both of their expressions —and the massive amount of discouragement Jasper was still hammering her with— caused her to change her mind.
“Hey Jasper…” She gave them an awkward smile —mostly just pursing her lips— and a half wave. Trying to act as if that was what she was planning on doing all along…
He returned it with his own half wave and partial smile, “hello Aušra.”
“Well, this is a pleasant surprise… you must be Carlisle?” she asked, the older man nodded looking significantly more relaxed now that it didn’t look like she was gonna jump. “Uh, cool…give me a sec I’ll be right down.”
She turned to the open second floor window and slid through feet first. Once inside, she shut and locked the window behind her. She huffed quietly, then headed down taking the steps two at a time.
They were on the top porch step by the time she opened the front door. She put on a better smile now and stepped out to greet them properly.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Aušra—though I’m sure you already knew that.” she stuck her hand out for Carlisle to shake.
“Yes, and as you already know, I’m Carlisle Cullen.” He took her hand and gave her a proper handshake, not the wimpy kind some men give her. “Sorry about dropping by unannounced…”
She gave a wave of dismissal, “eh, Jasper already warned that you’d be dropping by at some point, just didn’t expect it to be this weekend. He said you’re usually pretty busy. You work at the hospital, yeah?”
Carlisle looked pleasantly surprised at her, giving her a kind smile. “Yes I do. And I do have a rather unpredictable schedule, I just so happened to be off at a reasonable time tonight, so I thought we’d stop by. Is now an okay time?”
“Umm… yeah, now’s fine. But… I went on a run earlier and am still in those clothes so if you don’t mind me taking a quick shower and changing? Y’all are free to wait inside while I do?”
Carlisle briefly looked surprised at her offer before shooting a glance at Jasper, who shrugged a bit and nodded subtly.
“If you’re sure you don’t mind?” Carlisle asked confirming her decision.
“Yeah, don’t mind at all!” Which she really didn’t. With her wards set up she felt much more comfortable in general, and she knew that they couldn’t kill her —permanently. They definitely weren’t here for that now, otherwise her Repulsion Protection Ward would’ve kicked in and made them want to leave. She doubted they would kill her anyways. But she’d be sure they’d know of, and pay for their stupidity if they even tried.
She stepped back inside leading them with her. She closed and locked the door behind her, “shoes off please,” she requested, then showed them to the kitchen/dining room area. “Feel free to sit, stand, look around, I don’t care,” she gestured to the table. They both hesitantly took a seat. Jasper took off his coat and draped it over the back of his chair.
She stuck her head out the back door looking for Tamsus, not finding him immediately she put her fingers in her mouth and whistled. Then closed the door.
‘Come inside. Back door. Open it how a normal dog would.
Be nice. Don’t freak them out.’
They looked at her puzzled.
“My dog,” she explained, “don’t worry he’ll let himself in. He’s friendly.”
She headed back to the stairs, “I’ll be done and down in like seven minutes,” she said before heading up.
———•<•>•———
Jasper and Carlisle sat at Aušra’s dining table uncomfortably. Jasper heard the water to the shower turn on. Carlisle shifted towards him in his seat.
“What do you think she meant by, ‘he’ll let himself in’?” he asked.
Jasper shrugged, “no idea—” and, as if on cue, they heard something at the back door. Their attention turned to it, seeing a very large, black dog’s head in the window of the door. It reared up slightly and its paw must’ve hit the door handle because it moved. It tried again, this time successfully opening the door. It pushed the door open enough to walk through, then turned around and shut the door with its head. Jasper was impressed.
Wow. Smart dog. Very well trained.
The dog walked over and sat down beside them, looking directly at them. Jasper and Carlisle looked at each other. Carlisle’s face was carefully neutral but based on his emotions he was thinking something similar to Jasper.
This dog didn’t show any fear around them at all. Animals always tended to cower or flee around them, yet, this dog was practically inviting them to pet him.
Jasper felt weird with the dog sitting next to him. Something about it he couldn’t place unsettled him. He stood up, probably too fast. The dog watched his every move. Maybe that’s what it was —the dog watched him with a bit too much cognizance in its gaze. Like it was more conscious than a dog should be. Like it was studying them.
Don’t be ridiculous, you’re starting to sound like Edward.
Yeah, he was right, he was just nervous and projecting. He needed to distract himself. Luckily, Aušra’s house had many distractions in sight. She had a rather interesting way of decorating. Cluttered wasn’t the right word, it was… full. Different art styles and pictures hung on the walls, probably dozens of shelves filled with…things. It looked messy on first inspection, but he realized it wasn’t. Every piece seemed to have been placed and organized with great care. No dust either.
“Was she actually going to?…” Carlisle started quietly, then trailed off.
“Jump off the porch roof? I think so…”
They lapsed into a strange silence.
———•<•>•———
Aušra rushed through her shower routine. Four minutes, not her personal best, but good enough. She was toweling off when she checked in with Tamsus.
‘Update?’
‘The younger one, Jasper(?), is looking at your knick-knacks’
Aušra smiled she did have a very impressive array of baubles, trinkets and knick-knacks. And she displayed them proudly. She had built shelves upon shelves specifically for that purpose.
‘And what about the older one, Carlisle?’
She felt something weird coming from Tamsus…was he—?
‘He’s giving you scratches right now, isn’t he?’
There was a pregnant pause.
‘……no…?’
‘You don’t sound too sure of yourself Tams’ she teased.
Another pause. She put on some women’s boxer briefs, and her ‘at home’ sports bra (aka the oldest one she had, that she kept because even though it didn’t serve its original purpose, it was comfortable and kept her boobs in place enough to keep her decent for company).
‘I would ne—herrhhnnn…’
She snorted. ‘He hit your good spot buddy?’
‘…I am not proud of my weakness…’
‘Well I’m glad they’re treating you well, just keep keeping an eye on them, be down in a sec.’
She threw on an old worn out band t-shirt, pajama shorts that went to her mid thigh and a pair of socks. She didn’t care what they thought of her. This was her house she’d wear what she wanted.
She was about to leave the room when she remembered.
Right, Jasper: the (probable) lie detector. Need to prevent that.
She cast a quick spell that would help disguise any deceptions that she might have to tell. Then headed downstairs.
———•<•>•———
Jasper could hear Aušra coming down the steps. She was being oddly rhythmic about it. Two steps in rapid succession then the briefest pause before taking two more. Carlisle was still seated at the table with the dog seated next to him. The dog was letting him pet it! It seemed to be enjoying it too! He could feel that specific blend of emotions coming from Carlisle that people got when they were confused about the situation but weren’t questioning it.
Should he sit back down at the table?
He didn’t get chance to decide as Aušra swung around the corner of the bannister into the dining room. Six minutes and fifty-four seconds.
“Sorry ‘bout that! Thank you for your patience,” she said cheerfully.
Her hair was wet and looked as if it hadn’t been brushed yet. It actually matched her eyebrow color when wet—medium-dark brown—instead of the dark strawberry blonde she typically had. He wondered if it was her natural hair color? He also wasn’t sure why it surprised him that it was slightly curly. Maybe because she always wore it up?
She was wearing a t-shirt with some worn out design that could no longer be made out, the sleeves had mostly been removed. Her arms were… toned wasn’t the right word. Muscular was more accurate. Strong. In fact her whole body (or at least what he could see) was muscular. It wasn’t super obvious, she wasn’t thin, she definitely had a some fat on her which softened the lines of the muscles. But he should’ve noticed before now. She wore t-shirts to school how hadn’t he noticed? Her legs were much the same as her arms, though the layer of fat was thicker around her thighs and hips. And… he realized that it looked like he was checking her out. Which, he guessed he technically was, it was just out of curiosity rather than attraction (not that she wasn’t attractive).
It’d only been a second or two but judging by her quirked eyebrow and slight smirk she had definitely noticed it. Also the…amusement? She was amused that he seemed to be checking her out? Why did she think that was funny?
This is awkward.
“It’s no problem really. Thank you.” Carlisle responded, pulling Jasper from his thoughts.
“I still haven’t eaten, so I’m going to make myself dinner if you don’t mind?” Aušra said as she made her way into the kitchen. “Y’all can take a seat at the island while I’m cooking. It’d make it easier to talk. Jasper you can stay standing if you’d prefer.”
She pulled out a small pot and a pan and put them on the stove.
“We don’t mind at all. We’ve already eaten.” Carlisle responded. Aušra looked at them intently, studying their faces for some reason, then nodded.
Both Carlisle and himself sat down at the island.
Realization hit her, and with a quiet squeak, she rushed off to the living room. He heard her pick up something…wooden? Ah, a hairbrush —she was brushing her hair. She came back into the kitchen, hair now significantly less wavy and herself smelling of something woodsy with a little musk and spice of some sort.
“You keep your hairbrush and deodorant downstairs in your living room?” Jasper asked.
He watched as she pulled out some smaller tupperware containers from her freezer.
“Yeah, if I don’t keep it by the door I’m likely to forget about it. And I just have multiple hairbrushes all around the house cause I misplace them, frequently. It’s my system” she shrugged.
There was a stretch of silence. If everyone had known each other better it wouldn’t have been awkward. He was waiting for Carlisle to speak. They were there because of him.
“Sooo…” she said, “what’s up?” She paused what she was doing. Her gaze shifted between the two of them. Containers still filling her arms. “Like, why are you here?”
Realization dawned on them at the same time. Carlisle spoke up, “oh, yes of course! My children have mentioned you a few times as being new to Forks, they don’t talk a lot about other students at school, so I was already curious, and then I found out that you were living here all alone…”
“Ah. Okay, I see…” she chipped out chunks of whatever was in the containers and put it into a rounded frying pan. Vegetables?
“Jasper told me you’re from Lithuania? How long ago did you move to the states?”
She then recounted a slightly more detailed life story than what Edward had originally gathered. She was born in Lithuania, then moved to the US at eight so her father could to help with his father’s business. Her parents died when she was twelve in a house fire. She lived with her grandfather and things were good for a while, but his health started declining due to his age. He eventually died when she was fifteen. She got herself emancipated at sixteen, and then eventually moved to Forks to be closer to her ‘Aunt’ Mandy.
Jasper could feel Carlisle’s heart grow more and more heavy with each detail Aušra added. Hell, you didn’t need to be an empath to see the sorrow etched into his face. Aušra just had this detached sadness about her, like she was recounting something that happened to someone else. Which, he supposed was probably a coping mechanism.
Nothing she had said was a lie. The part about her ‘aunt’ felt…odd. It wasn’t dishonest, per se, he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it could be. She had felt muted while talking about it? Like her emotions were quieter almost…
She pulled out some other vegetables and chopped them with great efficiency. Into the pan they went. Along with a myriad of spices. She washed and started some rice as the vegetables sautéed.
Carlisle was doing most of the talking, asking more details about her life.
They learned that her grandfather ran a carpentry business which is what they had moved to the US to help run (“he was getting old and wanted to retire, asked my dad if he’d take over; he said yes”). They used to spend the summers in a camper traveling the states. They had actually camped in Olympia for a month one summer (which is one reason she had chosen Forks). She loved fishing and hiking. She was actually 17 —not 16— and that she was held back a year when her parents died due to how much school she missed to grief (and her own recovery from the fire). Mandy was a travel nurse, which is one of the reasons she couldn’t take Aušra in. She loved computer coding, and that’s what she did to pay the bills.
Jasper stayed pretty quiet during the conversation, allowing Carlisle to take the lead. He mostly observed Aušra as she cooked. She worked with an efficiency and ease that spoke of a high level of confidence and comfort in the kitchen.
Occasionally during the conversation that weird feeling of ‘muted-ness’ would pop up. Like something was missing. It only really happened when she was talking about certain things from her past…another coping mechanism perhaps?
She finished cooking and dished up her food.
“I’m sitting at the table, if y’all want to join me.” She pulled out a chair and sat down. They followed sitting opposite of her.
“Oh! Water,” She popped back up to grab a glass. “Y’all want anything to drink?” she inquired, turning back to face them. There was something in her tone and her emotions that belied that she found the question somehow amusing. They both politely declined.
She then hoisted herself up —putting her knees on the countertop— and grabbed a glass. Jasper looked over to Carlisle who had confused interest coming out of him. (As well as some concern.)
Carlisle leaned over and whispered, “do you think she climbs stuff often?”
Jasper shrugged. Aušra hopped down from the counter. “I do,” she responded. Both men looked at her confused.
“You were asking if I ‘climb stuff often’; I do. Not rock climbing, but trees, onto countertops to get things, among other things.” She filled her glass, and started heading towards the table.
Carlisle was doing well at hiding his shock, “you heard that?” he asked.
She nodded then turned around to grab the fork she had put down to get the glass. “I have very good hearing, though my comprehension is spotty sometimes.”
Jasper made a questioning sound, “how do you mean?“
She had a small, amused smile when she returned to the table. She sat down, one foot on the seat —knee to her chest— and the other was curled up beneath her.
“I have an auditory processing disorder. So even though my hearing is great, sometimes —for the life of me— I can’t tell what people are saying. It happens with any language I speak. Like I know someone’s talking to me and I know they’re speaking English, but all I hear is:” she made some noises that sounded sort of like Charlie Brown’s teacher. “It’s rather annoying, but I’ve learnt how to cope. I accidentally taught myself to read lips, it helps confirm what people are saying. So if you see me staring at your mouth, that’s what I’m doing.”
Carlisle’s interest had been piqued as soon as she mentioned the disorder, “what’s the disorder called?” he asked.
A small spark of embarrassment shot out of her, “oh… heheh. It’s just a symptom of my ADHD. I just say ‘auditory processing disorder’ because it makes people more liable to listen and respect it rather than dismiss it as me ‘not paying attention.’”
She seemed disinterested and mildly uncomfortable in continuing the topic so Jasper changed it before Carlisle asked any follow ups.
“So, you said your grandfather ran a carpentry business?” he asked as she took her first bite. She nodded as she chewed. “Do you do any carpentry yourself?” he followed up.
Aušra’s smiled grew wide as she chewed. She chewed more purposefully to try to respond quicker.
“Yes I do,” she said in a preemptively proud way. And there was that amusement again. She seemed to find many things at least mildly amusing, it was an interesting change of pace. Carlisle was intrigued, but as she seemed about to continue he remained silent. Anticipatory mirth bubbled up inside her —like someone about to say something funny.
“—in fact, I made this table.” Both vampire’s eyes went wide, examining the table again. It was an intricate pattern, with large squares with the grain running perpendicular to the squares’ sides (from corner to corner) each square had a length of wood on each side that extended to the square next to it. Which gave it a woven look.
“You made this?” Jasper asked, he didn’t mean to sound so disbelieving. Luckily, she wasn’t offended by his statement. She actually seemed to be getting quite a lot of enjoyment out it.
“Yes I did. And all by myself too” she smirked. “And brace yourselves… ‘cause I made the chairs too. In fact, everything you see now that’s wooden, I’ve made —except the cabinets.”
They both studied the dining chairs, each had an inset carved filagree at the top with the two ‘Host’ chairs having the most elaborate design.
“Holy shit. Like, you carved this?” Jasper asked. Aušra let out a breathy giggle while nodding. Her smirk turned into a full blown smile. He didn’t think about how that made him feel.
She felt smug —not in a bad way— in the way that she knew she was good, and was throughly entertained by their reactions.
Carlisle still hadn’t said anything. He hadn’t even reprimanded Jasper’s ‘choice of language’. That’s how stunned he was.
“It’s not that amazing —I mean it is pretty good, but it should be. It’s not like I picked up carpentry as a hobby last year or something. I’ve been doing it for a long time, if I wasn’t good at it, that’d be a bit concerning.”
“It’s still very impressive, you shouldn’t sell yourself short. This is a professional level of artistry. You could sell this,” Carlisle said having pulled himself out of his shock.
“I do,” she replied matter-of-factly.
The conversation then turned towards that topic. Aušra explained that she knew a guy, Paul, in Tacoma, WA that ran a carpentry shop. He would occasionally commission her for projects that his shop didn’t have time to do or for highly custom projects. Carlisle asked if she took commissions from other people. Aušra replied that she did occasionally, it depended on what it was and what her schedule was like. She showed them her little portfolio. All her work was very impressive (which he supposed made sense —you wouldn’t put your worst work in a portfolio.)
They moved their conversation into the living room after she finished eating and washed her dishes. (Though they didn’t say anything about it, she explained that if she didn’t wash them immediately they’d ‘never get done’).
The dog, Tamsus, followed them. He looked conflicted where he wanted to sit. After an odd ‘stare down’ with Aušra, he hopped up and settled down between Jasper and Carlisle on their loveseat. Though his face was neutral, Jasper couldn’t miss the feelings of complete joy coming from Carlisle — one might even say giddy.
Aušra gasped over-dramatically, “Betrayal! Tamsus, how could you do this to your poor mother!” She put the back of her hand to her forehead feigning faintness. She then chuckled. He liked the way it sounded.
Aušra curled herself into the corner of her couch. And Jasper got a closer look at the lower half of her legs. He took note of the sparse hair. It seemed she didn’t shave (which tracked, he had noticed the armpit hair as well while she was reaching for something in the kitchen). But there was also an odd texture and slightly pinker pigmentation there as well. Burn scars?
He looked away before she noticed. There was a bit of silence, so before it became awkward, Jasper spoke up (Carlisle seemed a bit too distracted by Tamsus), “you climb roofs often?”
She started to blush, “define ‘often,’” she countered. She felt a little flustered. He arched a brow at her response. Carlisle had stopped petting the dog squeezed between them and was now looking directly at Aušra, his concern growing the longer she didn’t respond.
She seemed to shrink under their gaze, though her embarrassment actually was less than what she was showing.
“I don’t typically climb up to the roof… but I have done it twice this week.”
Carlisle made a tiny choked noise, though his face barely betrayed the turmoil of emotions he was currently feeling. Jasper blanketed him in calm. Carlisle —after a few moments— sent him back a wave of appreciation.
“Dear, that’s dangerous, you could get seriously hurt,” Carlisle said, concern lacing through every word.
Though she didn’t show it, there was a strong spike of aversion when Carlisle had called her ‘dear’.
“I knew what I was doing. I was being safe. It’s only a 6/12 pitch —perfectly walkable. And like I said, I don’t usually climb up to the roof. I only did it because I had to. Today was because the gutters needed to be cleared of debris which, I had noticed earlier in the week. Which was the first time and I was making sure that my chimney cap and crown were free from any build up or debris that could be dangerous as well as ensuring my flue was actually cleaned like I asked. I would prefer to not have my house burn down in the winter due to any negligence on my part. And I do not appreciate being patronized.” she responded surprisingly calmly. There was that slight muted feeling again. But her emotions were level, and the one she was feeling most strongly was annoyance.
Carlisle felt like he was going to fight back with her (likely to try and convince her of the dangers) but Jasper had the suspicion that that would not be taken well by Aušra, so he sent the patriarch a wave of discouragement. Carlisle glanced at Jasper confused, then got the message.
“I apologize. I did not mean to be patronizing. It’s just, as a parent and a doctor I’m just concerned for your safety,” he responded sincerely.
Aušra relaxed a bit with the apology — likely relieved that she wouldn’t have to continue to defend herself as she expected.
“Apology accepted. I understand your concern, you’ve probably seen many bad injuries in your time, but I can assure you that I am aware of the dangers and thus take every precaution I can,” she responded, then added cheekily, “I’m much more likely to be injured in my wood shop than the roof and you seemed to have no qualms about that.”
His father chuckled lightly, “I suppose you’re right.”
“Partial side note: Do you happen to know anyone who has any downed trees who would allow me to could cut them up for firewood, for free or at least cheap?”
Carlisle responded that he didn’t but that he’d ask around for her. She said that she would ask Charlie as well, that he’d probably have a better idea, having lived here his whole life. They were surprised that she was on a first name basis with the Police Chief.
Aušra explained that he had come over Wednesday afternoon to introduce himself. They had had dinner together on her porch. That he left his phone number for her ‘just in case’ and that he had invited her to go fishing with him and his friends and their kids on the Quileute reservation. She seemed fond of him.
The three of them chatted for a bit (Jasper doing a bit more talking now) before Carlisle happened to look at his watch.
“Oh my goodness, look at the time! We’ve been here for almost two hours!”
Jasper couldn’t believe it had been that long. He checked his own watch, and Carlisle was right, it had been nearly two hours since they arrived.
“We’ve got to be getting back home,” Carlisle stated, getting off the couch. Jasper followed. Aušra followed them to the front door.
Carlisle spoke while putting on his shoes, “thank you for having us over, I apologize for taking up so much of your time. I’m sure you had other things planned for tonight.”
She dismissed him with a wave, “don’t be sorry. I had nothing else planned for today. Plus I rather enjoyed the company.” She smiled then added, “just next time y’all come over? Call ahead.” She handed Carlisle a slip of paper with her home phone number on it.
When did she write that?
They said their goodbyes and walked back to their car. Just as Jasper was about to get in, he heard the front door open again and Aušra call out to him.
“Jasper! Don’t forget your jacket.” She was holding it up in her hand.
He half jogged the distance back to her house. Carlisle started the car. She stepped out and met him on the porch.
“Thank you,” he said giving her a warm smile. She handed him his jacket, which he draped over his arm.
“Of course! Wouldn’t want you getting cold.” She smiled back.
There was that amusement again, like there was some sort of inside joke that he didn’t get.
They stood there a bit awkwardly for a moment. He still doesn’t know what possessed him to do so, but he found himself speaking, “I’ve given what you said yesterday some thought…”
“You have?” She sounded surprised but something warm and pleasant was swelling up within her.
“Yeah…” he said becoming a little sheepish under her gaze. “‘m gonna be dressing up with Alice for spirit week.”
She was now smiling at him, her tongue slipping out to peak between her teeth. Like she was biting it to keep from smiling even wider. She wasn’t even trying to hide her elation, “I’m glad you’re giving it a go.”
“Figured worst case scenario is I don’t like it, but… it could be fun,” he shrugged.
Somehow, even though her smile didn’t change physically, it got even brighter, “I’m looking forward to seeing what you and Alice come up with.” She changed to a slightly more serious tone (though her emotions were still warm and welcoming), “but just so you know, I don’t want you to feel obligated or anything. It’s only fun if you’re having fun. So, I won’t be disappointed or anything if you change your mind okay?”
He believed her. And because he seemed to be unable to say anything normal right now responded, “roger that.”
God that was dumb.
She laughed though. A real chuckle, not one just done out of politeness, “see ya Monday, Jasper.”
He nodded, “see ya Monday, Aušra.”
And with that, he headed back to the car. Carlisle had a suppressed smile on his face when he got in.
Aušra stayed outside until they started to drive off, only then turning around and heading back inside.
Carlisle looked at him a few times during the drive home but all he said was, “she’s a nice girl.”
Jasper just nodded in response.
This was going to be harder than he thought.
Notes:
Phew!… that was a lot! I wasn’t expecting it to get this long! Hope it was enjoyable!
Me this chapter (and for a few more) mentioning Aušra’s body runes –> cue the Mickey Mouse meme: “it's a surprise tool that will help us later”
(But seriously if it feels like I’m shoehorning them in it’s ‘cause I don’t want you think I’m making them up as I go for convenience’s sake. I have a list of their properties, sizes and locations. Same with the wards around her house.)I just need y’all to know that I have a Note open on my phone titled “Torments for Edward”. Anytime I think of a new way to make him go crazy I write it down lol.
I feel like Carlisle’s ‘I have to adopt this child’ instincts were going off hardcore the entire time they met up with Aušra. I’m still typing Carlisle as Carl. I still find it stupidly hilarious: Carl Cullen. Idk why but I get a kick outta it every time I think about it. Lol.
Chapter 9: Spirit Week
Summary:
Aušra has some unexpected hijinks with Edward. And some good ol’ fashioned dress up.
Notes:
A/N: OMG! YALL! I had a damn near heart attack on Friday bc I open my notes app to continue writing and EVERYTHING WAS GONE! EVERY NOTE ON MY PHONE VANISHED! I was nearly in tears cause I was freaking out bc what the hell?? Luckily it was just an issue with my iCloud linking up but for like an hour I was low key panicking. I did lose a few paragraphs of progress on this chapter but that was easy enough to make up.
Also describing clothes is hard. there are links to the lewks in the end author notes.CW: slight internalized acephobia and mention of mention of past acephobia, nothing major and very brief
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Aušra shut the door behind her as the vampires drove off. The stupid smile still adorning her face. She felt giddy. She went back to her place on the couch.
The meeting had gone very well with the Cullens’ patriarch. Carlisle seemed a very nice person. He clearly had a lot of empathy. Which, she already knew from Tuesday night, but there was something different about experiencing it in person. She was no empath, but the whole aura of sorrow that engulfed him when he heard her ‘history’ for himself, it was palpable. Uncomfortably so.
Jasper had been quiet for a good portion of the conversation, but she supposed that was most likely him just deferring to Carlisle. Her spell to hide deceptions seemed to work well, although, there was no real way to tell.
He had checked her out, not in an attraction way —at least, she didn’t think so— but he was definitely looking at her physique.
She knew she looked good. Though she had runes that she could activate and power with jėga to give her even more strength (as well as the passive effect of strengthening her bones and helping prevent muscle atrophy) she hadn’t always had those. So, she had spent a lot of time training and strengthening her body (and still does). Hell, she’d been doing it almost the entire time her magic had been activated. At least as long as she had known Misha. (Not to mention the natural strength one gets from doing manual labor —like farming and carpentry— since they were little.)
Speaking of Misha, he still hadn’t texted her back yet. She pulled out her phone and shot a text to Aurelia:
Me:
Ugh, I’ve lost my lucky charm. You got any clue where I left it?
(Which was code for ‘do you know Misha’s location?’)
Aušra went back to thinking…
What had she been thinking about before she derailed? Ah! Yes… Jasper checking her out. He had looked caught off guard by her bulk. It was rather funny. She didn’t ‘advertise’ her strength or muscles, preferring to hide them. Not because she didn’t like them —in fact— she loved the way she looked. But she had received about ten too many rude comments or backhanded compliments about them and just decided it was just easier and less of a hassle to not show them off.
She smiled at the memory of their bewildered faces when they had seen her carpentry skills. Carlisle hadn’t even spoken for like, a whole minute! That was one of the small pleasures in life, watching people become dumbfounded by her skills. Which, she was good. Very good. But as she had told them earlier, it’d be more shocking if she wasn’t at this point.
Tamsus joined her on the couch.
“Ah, I see you’ve decided to tolerate my presence again… Traitor.” she teased.
He straightened his posture in defiance.
‘I would do it again too.’
She turned to him slowly, playing up her offense. “How could you? Betrayer! Fraud! I didst think that thou didst lovest me, but thou wouldst consort with mine enemy? Willingly!”
His mirth and playfulness rose with each word she said.
‘I regret nothing! I would happily ‘consort with thine enemy’ if it meant more of those scritches!’ he dropped the ‘act’ and continued, ‘their fingers are very cold and it feels bizarrely nice.’
She smiled, ‘I’m glad someone was enjoying themselves because I sure wasn’t!’
He gave her a skeptical look, ‘you cannot lie to me, you had a good time.’
It was true. She did have a good time. Hell, she even told Carlisle and Jasper as much before they left. She had given Carlisle her phone number. (She still wasn’t sure why she had done that.)
Her phone went off. A text from Aurelia:
Aurelia:
Unfortunately no… last
I
knew it was in ur car
but idk
Me:
Nah looked all the usual
places, no luck…(haha)
—
Maybe I brought it inside
the house? Maybe school?
Aurelia:
That’s plausible. Idk
—
House makes more
sense than school
tho…
Okay so she last heard, Misha he was working, but as he still hadn’t responded it was more likely that he was at home. (Misha had basically non-existent phone service where he lived in Siberia.)
Ugh I’m gonna have to write him a letter… Eh, I can do it later.
They texted for a while longer. Aušra generally caught her up to the events since Tuesday. Along with other just general life things. No update on the Natural Governance thing, though she didn’t expect it so soon. She eventually asked Aurelia what she should wear for Halloween. She was undecided between Buffy the Vampire Slayer and just a standard witch.
Both would 1) be easy, as she already had everything she’d need, 2) a funny inside joke for her, 3) recognizable enough while also being comfortable.
Buffy would, as an added bonus, probably get under Edward’s skin and likely freak him out.
But a witch would be extra funny for her the whole day and if/when the Cullens found out what she was (she had a feeling there was a fairly good chance that that would happen) she’d be able to have another laugh about it then.
They went back and forth about the pros and cons of each and finally decided that she could wear both. Buffy to school on “Character Day” and a witch for actual Halloween.
Eventually they sent each other their goodbyes.
Aušra dragged herself off the couch and up the stairs. She pulled off her bra, throwing it somewhere on her bedroom floor, and collapsed into her bed. (She was never more happy to not have to brush her teeth —aside from doing it to keep her breath from smelling— than when she was too tired to pull herself out of bed to do so).
———•<•>•———
Sunday morning Aušra awoke with the sun. Tamsus had not nearly deposed her from her rightful place on the bed last night, so she was able to roll over onto her back. She sleepily stared up at the ceiling.
Tamsus wasn’t in her bedroom with her. She pushed through their bond and found him nearby, likely outside. She wanted to go back to sleep, but she knew it wasn’t likely to happen.
She hauled herself out of bed and downstairs and called Tamsus inside for breakfast.
After she was fed, showered, and dressed for the day —and it was a more reasonable hour— she called Charlie. He didn’t answer so she left a message with her question about firewood.
After hanging up she pulled out her notepad and wrote down her meals for the week, planning out her grocery list.
She didn’t want to go grocery shopping. Like really didn’t want to. Going out in public and being perceived by others felt like it was going to be too much for the day. But, she knew if she didn’t meal prep today it wouldn’t happen all week and she wanted food. She’d just have to put up with it and do her shopping as quick as possible. (And pray that no one talked to her).
With the grocery list made and battle gear acquired (aka ball cap, sunglasses, headphones and mp3 player), Aušra headed to the grocery store.
She had maybe gotten half of her grocery shopping done when she saw Them.
As she was walking around the corner of an aisle, she saw the now familiar head of red hair. There was a older brunette woman with him, who she could only assume was Esme.
You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.
“What god did I piss off?” she grumbled under her breath.
Edward stiffened but didn’t turn around. Aušra just continued into the next aisle, praying that she’d be left alone (though she doubted it). Pulling her hat down further (not that that would disguise her any), she just hoped they’d maybe get the message. She’d already used all her ‘Surprise-Social-Interaction points’ for the past 24 hours.
The events of yesterday had left her drained socially and physically. She’d enjoyed the visit from the two Cullens. But she didn’t know them well enough, so it was still a bit of a ‘performance’ for her. She couldn’t be entirely relaxed and herself around them. That left her feeling more drained even if the conversation had been energizing in a way. And that was with someone she knew and liked (well she knew and liked Jasper).
Aušra was sure that Esme was probably pleasant enough, but she really didn’t want to deal with Edward right now.
But, as fate would have it, not five minutes later, as she turned down the next aisle she was face-to-face with both of them. (Well, they were about halfway down the aisle facing her).
Edward was trailing behind Esme, he looked about as annoyed as she felt —though she was explicitly keeping her face neutral. Maybe they would leave her alone? She obviously had headphones in… no, they were able to hear that nothing was playing from them. It was too late to back out of the aisle now, they’d for sure seen her.
(If she had been thinking clearer she’d have thought to use her disinterest rune, but her thoughts were slower and a bit muddied today. Plus, she was mentally panicking at the thought of having to small talk in her current state.)
She had a minuscule amount of time to mentally ready herself before they were close enough that talking could be appropriate.
Esme’s eyes flicked over to Edward, he let out a tiny grumble and attempted a half-hearted smile. It looked about two degrees away from a grimace.
“Aušra,” he barely choked out. She pulled out her headphones.
Esme gave her a warm smile, “Oh, Aušra? I’m Esme, I believe my husband and Jasper visited you last night?”
Aušra answered in the affirmative, internally debating whether she should take off her sunglasses as well. After a few moments, she relented and took them off, hanging them on her shirt.
The conversation was generally pleasant. Consisting of mostly meaningless small talk. Even though Aušra wasn’t putting that much effort into keeping up the conversation, Esme was apparently perfectly content to carry it for the both of them. Her voice, which would probably be soothing normally, was scraping its way up Aušra’s back.
Edward kept watching her through. He had a scowl on his face, clearly displaying his contempt for her. His gaze boring into her.
Aušra didn’t even have it in her to mess around with him right now. So, she just shot him a quick scowl back. Then went back to focusing on trying to maintain eye contact with Esme (and keeping her face ‘pleasantly neutral’).
Thankfully, Esme didn’t keep her for much longer. Aušra gave her as much as a genuine smile as she could muster while saying goodbye. She put her sunglasses and headphones back on —and this time she actually picked music, turning it up as loud as she could manage without drawing more attention to herself.
She sped through the rest of her shopping, not looking at anything else except what was on her list.
When she finally got out to her car she let out a noise that was half groan, half sigh.
That was fucking awful. Probably the worst thing that could’ve happened…
Someone, anyone if you’re listening: please take me out.
She thunked her head against the cold metal of her car door, letting out another groan. She could feel her clothes shifting at every minute movement she made. She threw her groceries haphazardly (except for the eggs) into the back seat. She got into the car —habitually locking the doors immediately— then blasted the AC on the coldest setting. She shucked off her hoodie, pulled out her mp3 player and switched it to the most aggressive music she had, raising the volume to the highest setting.
She let out a sigh of relief. Reclining her seat back, she took off her sunglasses and strategically placed her hoodie over her eyes, blacking out the world. What she wanted to do was yell at the top of her lungs, but as she was in public (and because the vampires were still nearby) she settled for a low extended groan for a few exhales. Her hands were rubbing the tops of her thighs.
God, she was a mess. She typically didn’t show so blatantly how dysregulated or overstimulated she felt, but she just couldn’t find the energy to give a shit at this point. She wished it had been Jasper with Esme, not just because she knew him better, but also because he probably would’ve felt Aušra’s mess of an emotional state and convinced Esme to leave her alone.
She was getting a headache… letting out one final groan, she sat her chair back up. She rubbed her face, then went for her CD case. She knew exactly what she wanted, flipping to her burned CDs she pulled out her Synth/Disco Pop mix and popped it in.
She wanted to leave. To go home. But she couldn’t get her body to actually start driving. It felt like she was trying to convince her own brain, to listen to her. Like trying to wrangle a toddler. She knew that the faster she felt ‘normal’ again, the faster she could go home. So, she just sat there, gaze unfocused out the window, focusing on her breathing and the music.
Aušra ended up zoning out completely. For how long? That’s anyone’s guess, but when she ‘came to’ her eyes were burning, as well at her lungs. She took a forceful breath in and blinked several times. Her eyelids felt like sand paper with the way they scraped against her eyes.
When her vision focused again, she found out what she had been staring at…
Seriously, am I fucking cursed or something?
Apparently, the Cullens had parked directly across the way from her. Edward was standing at the trunk of the car looking at her like a deer in headlights.
How long had he been standing there? How long had she been ‘watching’ him? How long had she forgotten to breathe??
She slowly dropped her gaze to her dashboard. She hummed the tiniest of laughs when she realized Future Bible Heroes’ “I’m a Vampire” was playing.
This’d be funnier if I had planned that.
She rubbed her face again before buckling up and driving off.
———•<•>•———
‘That took longer than usu— are you okay?’ That’s how she was greeted by Tamsus when she got home from the grocery store.
She just grunted in response, dropping the grocery bags on the countertop.
‘Overstimulated from small talk at the grocery store with Esme…’
‘Ah, Edward was there too, I take it?’
Aušra nodded and let out another groan. She put the frozens and refrigerated stuff away, and laid on the floor, then regretted it, she needed to sweep. She didn’t get up though. Holding her arms up like she wanted a hug, Aušra waited for Tamsus to get the message. He did, and settled himself between her legs before laying himself down on his side up her torso. His massive noggin was on her chest. His weight felt nice. Grounding.
‘It wasn’t even that much small talk and Esme did most of the talking… I don’t know why I reacted so badly.’ she whined at him.
He nudged his head under her hand and she started absentmindedly stroking him.
After about five minutes of lying there —about fifteen since she got home— Aušra felt the sensing runes on her head ‘activate’ —indicating someone was close by watching her. Tamsus seemed conscious of this too, as he started to stir. She pressed him further into her, quelling his movements.
‘Just Edward, if I had to guess’ she responded to his silent question.
‘You should let me attack him,’ he replied only half serious.
She huffed the tiniest of laughs, ‘maybe some other time…’
She felt that desperate clawing sensation in her mind that meant Edward was really, really trying to read it. It wasn’t enough though. It would never be enough, if these were the limits of his gift.
He just won’t. fucking. quit. will he?
She decided to give him what he wanted. She had never opened her mind more than a crack for him. Just enough to get a single thought through. She was going to give him so much more. (Still nothing that would ‘out her’).
Her unfiltered mind was an unpleasant place to be in general (according to Misha and Aurelia at least) let alone at the moment —hile still slightly overstimulated. Filled with the overlapping cacophony of internal screaming and yelling about everything she could sense, that it essentially made it white noise at that point —at least, it was for her, because was used to it.
Aušra waited til she felt an extra push, then opened the proverbial flood gates for him. She was still holding back, filtering out full, conscious thoughts, but she let rest of the clusterfuck that was her unfiltered mind, slam into him like a freight train.
She could feel his obtrusive presence in her mind retreat, (assumedly) desperate to escape from the chaos. But his gift didn’t work like that, he couldn’t close his mind off to her thoughts. That wasn’t stopping him from trying though. It wasn’t working and even if it somehow could work, she had much more mental combative training than he did. She could force her way into his mind through even the tiniest crack, if she wanted to. But, she didn’t need to. She still pushed the chaos a little further into him before tapering her mind off.
Fuck around and find out, Bitch.
———•<•>•———
Aušra ended up taking a short nap where she was on the floor. When she awoke she was feeling much better, so she took advantage of that and did all her meal prepping and cooking for the upcoming week.
At some point Charlie called back, apologizing that he missed her call. He said he might know a few people with some downed trees or logs who’d be willing to give them to her, he just needed to check with them first. She thanked him and asked when he was fishing next. They made plans for her to join them the next Sunday.
Once she was done cooking, she still felt energized and driven. She used this to her advantage to start cleaning.
She started with all the dishes she had made. Then wiped down the countertops, swept and mopped the floors, vacuumed the carpets, started laundry, cleaned all the windows, finished unpacking and organizing her crafting room (ensuring to blow off all the dust from her sewing machine), and finally, dusted. She used magic for some of the more tedious tasks (like dusting, window cleaning, and sweeping), but she mostly did things the ‘old fashioned way’.
It was dinner time when she had finished so she reheated herself some food. Then plopped herself down in front of the TV, putting on a movie, Krull.
Before she went to bed she pulled out her outfit for Monday’s ‘Career Day’ theme. She had decided on ‘scientist’ so it was a pair of slacks, with a men’s fitted button-up shirt (women’s button-ups never fit her arms or shoulders right and restricted her movement too much), and a lab coat she had from a previous job.
———•<•>•———
Monday was rather uneventful. It was a nice change of pace, as it seemed that everyday of the previous week had something happening. Aušra was glad it wasn’t proving to be a trend.
A good portion of the student body dressed up; lots of business professional wear.
She saw Jasper and Alice across the way before school started. Aušra waved enthusiastically at the both of them. She sent some pride Jasper’s way. Alice looked (unsurprisingly) adorable. She had a tailor’s measuring tape draped around her like a scarf. But other than that she looked pretty much the same as she always did, fashionable. Jasper, on the other hand…
Jasper looked good. Like really good. He had on a pair of chocolate colored, pleated dress pants that sat high —on his natural waist. He was wearing a loose, navy blue, cable and honeycomb knit sweater. The sweater tightened at his waist, the sleeves pulled up to the mid forearm. Under it was a light blue button up, the cuffs were unbuttoned and flipped up over the cuffs of the sweater.
Everything hit him in just the right way that it really accentuated his form. Aušra knew him to be attractive. All vampires were (which she thought was a bit unfair). But today he was dressing to show it.
(Aušra had an odd relationship with attraction to say the least. She was able to look at people and see that they were hot —just like she was able to see a sunrise or sunset and know that it was beautiful— but it never really went anywhere from there. It was detached in a way, almost ‘clinical’ (as some asshats had put it). Even when she found someone attractive it never lead to lust or anything of that nature like it would in others.)
(She knew she was different. (Broken). Had known for a very long time. She found sex… unappealing (a major understatement). She had never had it, or been tempted to have it in her nearly 200 years of being alive. She had never looked at or known someone and wanted to be sexual with them —in any capacity. Had never felt any kind of sexual attraction towards anyone.)
(It had been a major relief when she had found out that there was a term for it, asexual (or at the time, monosexual) —that there were others (broken) like her. Misha had gotten on the topic of some booklets he had read that were calling for the decriminalization of homosexuality. At some point he went to another term found in the booklets (in hindsight, he did so rather pointedly), monosexual. When he gave the description, something inside of her clicked. Like a piece of a puzzle that she didn’t even know was missing fell into place, and suddenly things made more sense. Also, the minor general panic of confirming she was even more different.)
So, yeah. Jasper looked good today. Aušra had wanted to go over and say hi to the two Cullens, but Angela (who was dressed as a nurse) had pulled her away. It was probably for the best though, she needed to keep her promise to herself and not push the boundaries of their friendship.
They spoke like normal during Biology though.
“You look really good today Jasper,” she whispered leaning slightly, not looking away from the board.
He shifted in his seat, but didn’t respond until they had some down time.
“Thanks, by the way,” he said somewhat abashed.
“So what’s your career? Hot Professor?” she quietly jested. He choked almost imperceptibly, probably uncomfortable at the implication, “shit. Sorry, was that too much?” she followed up quickly.
He opened his mouth then closed it, face drawn up in thought. After what was only a few seconds —but felt like a century— he responded, “no, just… unexpected, I think.”
“Okay, let me know if I do cross a line, about anything?” She forced her sincerity into him.
He gave that smile and nodded once, “of course, and I hope you’ll give me the same consideration? Inform me if I’ve crossed any boundaries?”
She fought a smirk at his extremely formal speech, she snorted instead, “don’t have many boundaries to cross, but if you do, you’ll definitely know,” she said lightly, but it was true, she definitely didn’t have quite as many boundaries as others did. That’s what made it difficult for her to gauge others’ boundaries.
She went back to the previous topic, “but seriously, what’s your career?”
He looked a little abashed again, “‘m supposed to be a history museum curator…”
She couldn’t help a subdued chuckle, “you are the best dressed ‘Museum Curator’ I have ever seen,” she said playfully.
He smiled and briefly looked away, “Alice put the outfit together and went a bit overboard…”
Finding out that Alice picked out his clothes was only minorly surprising.
“Makes sense, she seems to be someone who wants people to look their best.”
He chuckled in a way that said ‘you have no idea’.
The conversation strayed away from outfits to hobbies. He asked more questions about her woodworking. She asked about his paintings.
“I heard you had a run in with Esme and Edward yesterday, at the grocery store?”
Aušra rolled her eyes dramatically enough that her head went along with them, “ugh… don’t remind me…”
Jasper chuckled, it was a nice sound. She wondered what his full blown laugh would sound like.
“What? Esme’s that bad?” he teased.
She shot him a look, “Esme is perfectly wonderful. I was not in a great place mentally yesterday. So having to small talk in general, let alone with a stranger and with Edward staring daggers at me the entire time, it was too much and I got overstimulated and essentially went into autopilot.”
His eyebrows went up slightly in surprise before his face softened into an expression Aušra couldn’t quite place. “You’re pretty open with your issues,” he said softly. It wasn’t really a question, but she could feel that there was the undercurrent of ‘why?’
Aušra shrugged, “they’re a part of me. I may not like it, but I’m stuck with them. So it’s easier to just explain what’s happening to others in my life, so they understand better why I am the way I am. Better understand Me.”
His head tilted and face scrunched slightly in thought. “You’re an interesting person, Aušra,” his tone was odd, he sounded almost in awe?
She gave him a cocky smile, “thanks, I know.”
———•<•>•———
Tuesday was ‘Decades Day’.
Aušra dressed like a 1950s greaser. She got up extra early to style her hair. She slicked back and pinned the sides to give the illusion of shaved sides. After what felt like 100 bobby-pins and half a can of hairspray she was satisfied with the top. She had twisted it along her hairline, then up the side, pinning it (so many pins), creating a pompadour-esque poof in the front.
The outfit was fairly basic. A chest binder to squish her tiddies away, a plain black t-shirt, loose fitting, cuffed blue jeans, black leather boots, and a black leather motorcycle jacket (which was actually hers from the early 1960s).
She put on a bit of makeup to contour her face to appear a bit more on the masculine side. (She was already more masculine looking for a woman.)
When she arrived at school, she was a tad bit earlier than normal (she wasn’t sure how cooperative her hair was going to be and gave herself plenty of time just in case). She went into the cafeteria —leaned against the far wall, pulling out a book— and waited for her friends to arrive.
Jessica, Mike, and Becca all arrived at the same time. Jessica was in some 70s hippie getup, looking a bit miffed at Mike who was wearing his normal clothes. Becca was dressed as a 1920s flapper, which suited her very well. They hadn’t noticed Aušra yet. Aušra activated her hearing runes and tuned into their conversation. She wasn’t looking at them, just continued reading.
Jessica was berating Mike for not dressing up with her. He responded that he wasn’t wearing the clothes she got him because they were stupid and uncomfortable and itchy. Jessica then countered that he ‘looked lame’ and should’ve at least dressed up in something else.
Becca interrupted the spat when she said, “Whoa. Is there another new student? Who’s the hot guy?”
Aušra looked up, the group was looking right at her. She smirked.
She saw Becca’s face fall after a few seconds, “nevermind… I’m pretty sure that’s just Aušra…”
Aušra grinned at them.
She didn’t see the Cullens that morning but saw them during lunch. Alice was very Audrey Hepburn in the 50s. She was wearing a lilac, silk dress with a large gathered tea-length skirt and petticoat. The bodice had a high neck, and was nearly sleeveless. The fabric rouged to the right-side closure, with large cloth covered buttons going down the closure as well. She looked extremely good. Aušra was glad she went with a men’s 50s outfit cause she would’ve been entirely outclassed if she had gone with a woman’s.
Jasper was full 70’s. He was already sitting down so she couldn’t see anything other than his shirt, but it was obvious on that alone. A muted red silk button up, with the staple long collar indicative of the era and just the busiest pattern you’ve ever seen. He only had the first button unbuttoned. As expected, it fit him exceptionally well.
She waved when Jasper and Alice looked over. Jasper responded with a head nod while Alice enthusiastically responded with a little wave of her own.
When Aušra got up to throw away her trash she was accosted (in the friendliest way possible) by Alice at the trash can.
“Hi! I’m Alice! It’s so nice to finally meet you!” she said rocking on her feet with her hands behind her back.
“Oh, uh hi,” Aušra responded, smiling after a moment of confusion. “I’m Aušra but I have a feeling you already knew that.”
“Yep!” She was still bouncing slightly.
Aušra looked uncomfortably around the cafeteria when Alice didn’t say anything else. “Soooo, can I help you with something?” she asked.
“Nope! I just wanted to say hi! And that I like your look a lot! Very classic,” Alice replied.
“Oh, thank you. I didn’t have much time to plan outfits for this week, so I’m just going off of stuff I have in my closet… You look gorgeous by the way. Very Audrey Hepburn. The color really suits you too.”
Alice was beaming now, “that’s exactly what I was going for! The 50s is one of my favorite decades of the 1900s. Lots of high glamour fashion.” Alice must’ve seen Aušra shifting as she next asked, “do you want to come sit with us?”
Aušra was taken aback. She glanced over at the Cullens’ table, they all had the same facial expression that she probably did —shock, confusion, and disbelief.
“Uhhh…” she wouldn’t mind sitting with them in general. They were all friendly enough with her (except Edward, but he didn’t count), but her stuff was still at the other table, and she was sure Alice (and possibly Jasper) would be the only one(s) who would actually be okay with her there.
Alice was staring at her with those big, golden, doe eyes, still beaming.
“…not today…sorry—”
“It’s no problem!” Alice said rather cheerily, then bounded back to her table.
Aušra stood there for a few moments still trying to comprehend what happened, before she returned to her table as well.
She got a good look at the rest of Jasper’s look during Biology. And oh boy, it sure was something. Aušra forced her face to stay in the ‘polite neutral’ state she reserved for school. Only allowing the tiniest of smiles. It didn’t matter that he would probably be able to feel her giddy amusement from the fucking moon. She had to at least pretend she was composed.
She wanted to giggle and squeal like a little schoolgirl. Not teasingly, mind you, his outfit was just. so. 70s. disco. (the only way it could’ve been more was if it was mustard yellow or creamsicle orange). It filled her with so much weird joy she didn’t know what to do about it.
His pants were high-waisted and a shade or two darker than his shirt, with a 3-inch waistband that had an extended tab closure that buttoned far off to the right. They were, of course, bell bottoms. As Jasper made his way back to their lab bench she heard the subtle clack of his shoes.
There’s no way…
When he sat down she saw that there was a way.
HOLY SHIT! HE IS WEARING DISCO HEELS!!! EHEEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHE
They only had a 2 inch heel with a 1/2 inch platform so they were on the conservative side, but still! Actual platform disco shoes! Aušra was truly fighting to keep her face neutral instead of grinning at him like a fool. (Though her emotions were certainly betraying her).
He glanced over at her and smiled shyly (and slightly confused).
Aušra leaned over to him conspiratorially and whispered, “I like your outfit. Looks good on you. The disco shoes are a nice touch too.”
“Thanks.”
A surge of pride shot through Aušra when she saw him start to blush.
Biology was unfortunately too busy for them to really chat like they usually did.
———•<•>•———
Aušra, of course, for ancestry day wore her traditional Lithuanian dress. This time however, she wore her nice velvet bodice and the karuna.
Angela wore a traditional Mexican huipil. Becca wore a traditional Bomba dress (Puerto Rican). Some boys Aušra didn’t know were dressed like bad Vikings.
Alice practically skipped her way over to Aušra in the cafeteria that morning before school. She didn’t look different than normal. Aušra didn’t see any of the other Cullens.
“Omg! I love your dress! Can I?” She asked, gesturing if she could take a closer look. Aušra nodded. Alice gave a suppressed squeal. She grabbed Aušra by the hand and started her examination by studying the red design down the sleeves.
She was talking a mile a minute, asking so many different questions about the garments’ construction. Aušra answered as best she could.
“Are these embroidered? No, right?” Alice inquired, eyes full of glee.
“Yeah the red patterns are weaved, as well as the juosta,” Aušra replied gesturing to the thin sash.
“Where’d you get it? Like did you buy it in Lithuania? Or are there places in the US you can get them?”
“Oh, um, I made it,” Aušra replied somewhat bashfully, knowing where this was going.
Alice’s fevered inspection stopped dead, and she stared up at Aušra awe.
“…like the whole thing?”
Aušra looked down at her clothes, trying to figure out if she had bought any of the items.
“I bought the shoes and the chain? The skirt was from material my aunt bought me. I sewed the bodice and weaved the chemise, apron, and juosta. Maybe I also bought this petticoat but I’m not sure…”
Alice went silent for a moment. Then somehow, her smile got even bigger, “you know how to weave??”
“Yeah?”
Before Alice could jump into another line of questioning, her gaze got distant and glazed and her face slackened.
When Alice came out of what Aušra assumed was a vision, she laughed nervously, “heheh, sorry I totally forgot something in my car,” Alice turned and started rushing towards the entrance. She called over her shoulder, “talk to you later!”
Aušra nodded confused. Then headed to Homeroom.
What the hell could that vision have been?
She didn’t see Jasper at lunch, though the rest of the Cullens were there. He was absent from Biology too. She took more detailed notes in case he needed them (though she doubted he did).
———•<•>•———
Thursday was the day she had been most excited for. She donned her red leather pants, black sleeveless top, a different leather jacket than Tuesday (that one was a bit too “biker gang” for Buffy’s look), and a pair of leather boots (sans heels). She even too the time to blow dry, straighten and style her hair.
Aušra wondered if Jasper would be at school today. And if he was going to dress up. Biology had been quiet and lonely without him.
She mentally berated herself, she was not supposed to be getting attached to him, or any of the Cullens for that matter. She needed to be better about that.
The day went basically as planned. Edward had frozen then stared her down in the parking lot after she arrived at school. This of course was after Emmett had come up to her and complimented her on her costume. He said that it was ‘badass’ but there was a mischievous look in his eyes that told her he found it secretly funny.
Good.
Jasper was there and he was dressed up. She didn’t bother to hide her smile when she saw him.
He was dressed as Bob Ross. He was even wearing a small Afro wig (no beard but she didn’t care). Alice was in some preppy hot pink dress with a blonde wig and… a law textbook?
……OH! Elle Woods! Legally Blonde!
Oh that was so good.
Aušra made sure to tell her as much when she came bounding over. Alice picked up their fiber-craft conversation that got interrupted the day before. It was nice, they went back and forth telling each other their respective ‘skills’.
The bell rang too quickly for Alice’s liking (if her face of contempt when it rang was anything to go by). Aušra promised they could pick it up later if she wanted, which perked up her mood significantly.
“He lives!” Aušra joked when he sat down at their lab bench before biology
He gave her a wry smile.
“It was so lonely and boring without you here yesterday.” she said melodramatically (though the thought was sincere).
“Sorry ‘bout that, I got to school and started feeling unwell so I ended up going home.”
“No need to apologize, just glad you’re feeling better,” she said, then added jokingly, “you are feeling better right? Not gonna give me rabies or somethin’?”
He chuckled.
“Astute choice of a costume,” Aušra said.
“Thanks, some girl was joking that I ‘was like Bob Ross’ so…” he shrugged.
“Wow. She sounds extremely intelligent and fun and just all around an absolute joy to be around” she replied playfully.
Jasper smiled and rolled his eyes good-naturedly. Something flashed across his features too quick for Aušra to analyze what emotion it was.
“Oh, well I don’t know about all that,” he teased, “I don’t know if she deserves that kind of praise just for a costume idea…” he smirked at her.
She could see the amusement sparkling in his eyes, which only served to egg her on more.
“Then I guess She won’t be sharing her very detailed notes of yesterday’s lesson with her bench-mate…” Aušra primly countered.
He faked contrition, “well if that’s the case, I would have to say that’s she’s the most kindhearted, thoughtful, considerate, generous, beautiful—”
“Now who’s laying it on thick?” she interrupted, smiling and rolling her eyes. She pulled out the notes and handed them to him with an amused smile.
…Wait…what was that last one? Beautiful…?
Nah, she probably misheard him. It didn’t fit with the ‘theme’ of the others… she definitely misheard him.
Notes:
Aušra is a sex-repulsed asexual but is sex positive in general, you do you boo-boo (as long as no one’s doing me lol).
A/N: this chapter has 2 references to my real life:
1)that was basically how I found out I was asexual. I was 14, backstage of a high school production rehearsal for Anything Goes, and one of the seniors (who played Bonnie) was —sitting with a gaggle of people— just listing and explaining the different sexualities, and she got to asexual and my brain went: “Me.”I was shocked at my own brain and literally thought: “excuse me??” But my brain repeated, “Me.” Needless to say I had a very brief “crisis”(more confusion than anything) about “not being straight, even though I’m afab and attracted to only men” lol. But it didn’t even last a day, cause I actually thought about it and went “huh, that…uh explains a lot actually” lol.
2)I dressed up in a suit for some church activity or something in my early 20s and my best friend saw me from like 30ish feet away and was like (she told me this part later once her ‘embarrassment’ died down), ‘DAMN, who’s that hot new guy with the Ass??’, looked at me for 15 more seconds, then realized it was me and got disappointed. (This was like the 1000th+ time I’ve been mistaken as a dude, lol. I find it funny).I’m cursed. This chapter was supposed to be mainly Halloween, with just small snippets about each spirit day but I started writing and this happened… there was absolutely no plan for a grocery store scene it just sorta happened…I mean it’s cool, more Edward torture. I’m sure y’all aren’t complaining about more content, but I’m trying to get to the good parts and I keep slowing myself down! Lol
Also Alice has been so pouty that everyone elsein the family has gotten to meet Aušra except her, so she had to take matters into her own hands.Jasper’s Career Day outfit
Alice’s 50s dress(bottom right corner
Jasper’s disco heels seriously look up some others they be like 5in heel, 3in platform.
Jasper’s shirt/color scheme (middle guy)
Jasper’s pants (style not color) far right
Just for funsies cause I cackled when I saw it: Mens 70s titty window shirt
Chapter 10: This is Halloween! (Halloween! Halloween!)
Summary:
Aušra and Jasper have some more library bonding time. Aušra and Angela have fun dressing up for Halloween. Edward does something that gets him accidentally trolled and the snot beaten outta him. So a good Halloween all around!
Notes:
A/N: FYI idk what Angela’s race is actually supposed to be but I’m going off the actress’s so she’s half Mexican.
Also there needs to be an exclamation point that doesn’t look as ‘extreme’ as an exclamation point, ya know? Like I see this ‘!’ and my brain goes they’re yelling or hella shocked or whatever. Half the time I put one in I end up taking it out cause it makes it feel too intense. I understand that this is a hangup of mine but if someone else could fix it for me, that’d be awesome.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Angela was eager to talk during Computer Science.
“So I think I already said this, but I don’t remember; you look really good today. Buffy is a really cool choice. I haven’t seen it —my parents don’t think it’s very ‘age appropriate’ especially for my brothers. And if I started watching it, they’d want to as well… but, I’ve heard a lot about it.
“Oh! And by the way, my parents are totally okay with us hanging out, but it has to be at my house. They don’t like the idea of me hanging out with a stranger —to them at least— ‘without adult supervision’…” she said the last part hesitantly, like she was afraid Aušra’d be offended. Which now that Aušra was thinking about it, Angela was looking unsure and nervous.
“That’s totally understandable. When do you want me to come over?”
Angela visibly relaxed, “umm, would you want to do a sleepover tomorrow night?”
“Sure, what time do you want me there?”
Angela pursued her lips in a resigned and annoyed manner and sighed “so, I have to babysit my brothers while they’re trick-or-treating…”
Aušra’s brows furrowed, that hadn’t answered her original question.
Seeing this Angela continued, “I’m not sure what time they’ll be done, maybe you could come over around 9 o’clock?”
Angela looked so sad. Well sad wasn’t really the right word, it was more defeated or dejected. Dejected, that’s what she looked like.
“You know, I could come along with y’all.”
“You-you’d do that?” Angela’s face brightened with reserved hope, “that wouldn’t be ‘torture’ for you?”
Something about the way she said ‘torture’ felt like she was quoting someone else. Once again, Aušra was pissed off at whoever would talk to and treat this sweet girl so poorly.
Aušra internally scoffed at the idea that it’d ‘be torture’ for her. She had been tortured before —multiple times, in fact— and the thought that having to watch some 10 year olds for a couple of hours could even compete with torture was both hilarious and insulting. Could they be annoying, sure, but what 10 year olds weren’t?
“Why would it be torture to hang out with my friend? Just because your little brothers will be there?” Aušra replied in the strong-delicate tone she used when she needed to be gentle but also make a point.
Angela dipped her head and smiled shyly, “yeah… I guess you make a good point,”
“Of course I do. Don’t ya know, I’m always right,” she replied teasingly, putting on her best shit-eating grin. “So what time should I come over?” she asked again.
“Umm… I think they’re planning on starting at 6:30ish? So 5:30/6 o’clock, maybe? Are you going to be dressing up?”
Aušra nodded, “that is, if you are?”
Angela nodded then continued, “yeah, for sure. So you could come over already dressed up or we could dress up together?”
“Probably best if I don’t show up at your house already looking like an ‘Undead Queen’ or something,” she chucked. “So we can get ready together, should I eat beforehand?”
“Um, you don’t have to, my mom is making some stuff for Day of the Dead —which is like Mexican Halloween— and she’s always one for feeding friends, but it’s like traditional stuff, and I don’t know what your spice tolerance is…”
“I know what Dias de los Muertos is, and I can handle high amounts of spice just fine. My dad and grandpa’s favorite takeout place was Thai, and they liked dishes so hot they burnt your nose just from smelling them,” Aušra replied humorously.
“Okay, well, if you’re coming over for dinner then you should be there around 5.”
They hammered out a few more details before turning their attention back to the class.
———•<•>•———
Considering how Sunday had went, and wanting to actually be able to have fun at Angela’s, Aušra decided it was in her best interest to skip the pep rally. No need to purposely overstimulate herself. So, before she left for the day, she swung by the front office to pick up an exemption slip for the pep rally.
Thursday evening was somewhat busy for her. She checked her work email. She had already received the further specs she needed from Paul about his commissions. He had sent her an update on the delivery date for the raw materials. She replied back confirming that the date and time worked for her.
She had already completed two of the three computer coding requests she had received the previous week. The third one she knew would take the least amount of time so she had saved it for last.
The witch had just responded that day with answers to Aušra’s vetting questions. Everything checked out, so she sent back a reply with a secure link for them to use to send the rune back and forth.
She finished her homework and played outside with Tamsus for a bit. She still needed to write to Misha at some point, but that point wasn’t tonight.
After a very late dinner, Aušra curled up on the couch and put on a cheesy ‘horror’ flick. She ended up falling asleep there.
———•<•>•———
Aušra dropped off her exemption slip at the office first thing. She didn’t dress up on Friday. Alice nor Jasper did either.
Even though classes were shorter today, (on account of the pep rally) the day passed by at a crawl. Everyone seemed to be itching for the ‘main event’ (or more likely, the opportunity to get out of class).
Even though she had gotten a decent amount of sleep, Aušra was tired. Maybe she was just bored? Either way, paying attention was more of a struggle than it usually was. She kept finding herself zoning in and out for no real reason. She could stop it, if she wanted. She knew that. She had the mental fortitude to force herself to focus and stay present. But since nothing catastrophic would happen if she didn’t pay attention in English class… she couldn’t find it in herself to care.
Lunch came around and she double checked with Angela that they were still good for that night. Which they were. Aušra also reminded her that she wouldn’t be at the pep rally (not that they’d be able to sit together since they were in different grades).
Aušra and Jasper didn’t have much time to chat in Biology, especially with Aušra still feeling so spacey. He didn’t seem to mind though.
———•<•>•———
When the bell rang to usher everyone to the gym for the pep rally, Aušra packed up her stuff and headed to the library where everyone who was exempt would go.
There was a lady from the front office standing at the entrance checking students off a list.
“Sykes, Aušra?” she stated when she got up to her.
The office lady (Aušra thought her name might be Linda?) pursed her lips in a semi-scowl as she looked over her list.
“Name’s not on the list.”
“What do you mean? I dropped my slip this morning?” Aušra countered.
The woman paused then looked Aušra up and down. “Oh right, that’s because you signed it yourself sweetheart.” Aušra did her best to not scowl at the ‘endearment’. The lady continued “It has to be signed by a parent or guardian.”
You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.
Aušra kept her voice steady and neutral, even though she wanted nothing more than to scream, “I’m emancipated. I am my own legal guardian.”
The woman looked at her disbelievingly, “I don’t know what to tell you dear, but the form specifically says parent or guardian.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, other than what I just did! My parents are dead, and a judge ruled me as not in need of a guardian. Which the school has records of from my registration paperwork.” She was trying to keep a level head, getting pissed off would not help her case.
They went back and forth a few more times essentially just restating their cases. Aušra was about 2 seconds from fucking losing it—because how stupid was this woman?—when she saw Jasper in the library talking to the librarian while continuously glancing over at the entrance. The librarian nodded then made her way over. She pulled the office lady a bit off to the side for the semblance of privacy while they talked in hushed tones.
Aušra looked back at Jasper who was watching the two women (no doubt using his powers to somehow persuade them).
After a few moments the office lady stepped back saying, “sorry, there was a misunderstanding, you’re welcome to come in. Remember, this time is for studying or quiet reading, not goofing off.” she sounded bitter.
Aušra was flooded with relief as she stepped past the woman. She smiled and nodded her thanks at the librarian as she passed. Jasper was no where to be seen. She found a seat and settled herself down.
Homework was not happening. She had been attempting to read the same page of her textbook for the last ten minutes and had not absorbed a single word. She stared ahead of her in defeat. Then, she got up and started wandering around, looking for something, anything that would catch her eye.
As she trailed along the shelves —idly letting her gaze float from title to title— she felt someone approaching her. Pausing for the briefest of moments, she reached out to read the person’s jėga. It was one she was getting very familiar with.
“Jasper,” she said in a low amused tone, seconds before he breached her peripheries.
She heard him let out a low chuckle (more like an amused puff of air). He was standing at the bookshelf next to the one she was at. “How’d you know it was me?” he said playfully but still genuinely curious.
She side-eyed him with a semi-smug expression and hummed a noncommittal response. She shrugged slightly in a nonchalant manner, “…call it a gut feeling?”
Jasper quirked an eyebrow at that, but didn’t press any further. In fact, he smiled that signature smile at her.
“Oooh, mysterious.” he teased.
She (poorly) suppressed a snort, rolling her eyes dramatically.
“No costume?” he asked.
“What do you mean? I’m in a costume.” She said completely straight faced and serious. Doing her best to suppress her mirth.
He blinked, then looked her up and down. Jeans, t-shirt, hoodie, sneakers. The same as every other day. She could see the cogs turning as he tried to tell if she was messing with him. She kept her face soft but deadpan. Trying to push her emotions towards eager, hopeful, and anticipation.
“You can’t tell?” she said, sounding deflated.
There were a few more moments of quiet before his eyes narrowed and a playful smile crossed his face. He knew, good.
“No, what could you be?” he mused.
She leaned in conspiratorially, “a witch, obviously… they aren’t all green, wart-covered hags in black, 17-century pseudo-puritanical clothing. I’m sure some of them can be rather cool and normal, like Willow from Buffy.”
He smirked. “So like I said: No costume,” he playfully mocked.
Aušra clutched at her chest, and stepped one foot back—as if he’d pushed her. She stood there fake gawking at him for a moment before returning back to normal, with a smile she couldn’t keep off her face. “Nah, not for school. I’ll put one on later when I go trick-or-treating with friends.”
“What are ya gonna be?”
She grinned, “a witch.”
“Pseudo-puritanical?” he said ‘scandalized’.
She scrunched her face in disgust and shook her head, “ugh no, Medieval–fantasy of course.”
“Oh, of course,” he echoed, as if he was stupid for not thinking of it himself.
They lapsed into a comfortable silence. Looking at the bookshelves separately but next to each other. It was…comforting, she hadn’t had this in a while. Spending time with someone, having the ability to talk but both parties choosing quiet instead.
They browsed together in companionable silence for a few minutes. She appreciated that he didn’t feel the need to talk, to fill the space. She supposed part of that was his empathic gift, letting him know that she was comfortable in the silence. She wondered what he would do if she became uncomfortable? Should she try? Would that be manipulative?
Aušra paused her browsing to think about that. She didn’t think it’d be manipulative? She wasn’t trying to get something from him, just trying to learn, to understand. No, that made it seem like he was a guinea pig that she was experimenting on, and that felt so much worse.
“Whatcha ya lookin’ for?” Jasper quietly interrupted her thoughts.
Well I guess that sort of answers that question…I’ve gone and accidentally made myself uncomfortable enough for him to break the silence.
“Nothing in particular, just whatever catches my eye, something horror-adjacent would probably be appropriate… you?” She looked up at him.
Jasper hummed in thought, looking away for a moment, “I suppose it’s the same as you —minus the horror” He gave her a subtle smile.
“Not a horror fan?”
“Emmett is, and makes us watch them occasionally as a ‘sibling bonding experience’, but I wouldn’t consider myself a particular fan of the genre,” he shrugged.
“Me neither,” she said, leaning in, eyeing a book.
“But you just said…” he trailed off in his confusion.
She pulled the book off the shelf then turned to him with an amused smile, “I said it’d ‘be appropriate’. Also I said ‘horror-adjacent.’ I’m anxious enough in my daily life as is. I don’t see the need to seek out experiences that are meant to cause me more anxiety.” she said with a light, semi-playful tone. She turned to walk back to her stuff, but she saw his face fall slightly in… disappointment? Odd. So, she stopped herself, turning to face him again, “I’m going to go read in the beanbags, you’re free to join me when you find a book —if you want to, that is. Won’t be offended if you don’t.”
He paused thinking for a moment before responding, “might have to take you up on that offer.”
Aušra returned to her original seat, grabbing her things and moving them over to the beanbag reading corner. Jasper joined her a few minutes later. They sat in silence for a while reading their respective books.
Aušra noticed that Jasper kept glancing at her, like he wanted to say something but was nervous, or didn’t want to interrupt her. At that point she was only half reading, so she initiated the conversation.
“Something you want to ask, Jasper?” she whispered, just enough that he could feasibly hear her if he was human. She didn’t stop pretending to read, the office lady had been keeping an eye on her.
“Yeah, actually…”
She glanced over at him, to let him know she was listening.
“I don’t wanna to pry, but… why aren’t you at the pep rally? Seems like it’d be your type of thing.”
She made an ‘eh’ face, “it’s loud, packed, and I’ve only been at this school for two weeks, don’t got a lot of ‘School Spirit’. Maybe a different time, but I’ve been feeling weird this week. Plus, I’m hanging out with someone this afternoon and I don’t need to be spending all my social energy on the pep rally and then be too tired for them. What ‘bout you?”
He nodded in understanding, “kinda the same. Me and large crowds don’t ‘get along’. I get overwhelmed with everything happening.”
Aušra hummed in agreement. His eyes flicked over and his mouth twitched downward quickly —almost too quick for Aušra to notice— she followed to where his gaze had went— the office lady.
She sighed. “She’s been watching me basically this whole time.” Aušra whispered, annoyed. She would use her disinterest rune, but she couldn’t target specific people with that. So, she had just resigned herself to being watched.
“Yeah, I noticed. It’s weird…” Jasper said, disgust mildly tinting his tone.
Aušra shrugged halfheartedly, “c’est la vie,” she looked at him. He was looking back at his book, but it was different from before. She couldn’t immediately put her finger on exactly what was different about it, but something was definitely different. She focused her senses, ah, that was it. She could feel his jėga moving away from him. She followed its path, it lead to the office lady.
Is—is he using his powers to get her to stop watching me?
…And he used them before too, to get her to let me in. Why’s he doing this for me?
She went back to skimming through her book. Unsure how she felt about that, and not wanting to examine it —his motives or her feelings— any further.
The office lady didn’t look at her for the rest of their time in the library. They were packing up as the bell rang to end the school day. Jasper started walking off, Aušra half jogged to catch up to him in the halls once she had packed up. She lightly touched his bicep to get his attention (though she was sure he knew she was there).
“Hey, I never thanked you,” she said when he looked over to her. Neither of them stopped walking.
His brow scrunched, “for what?”
“For helping me get into the library. I saw you talking to the librarian, who then came and talked to the office lady. I don’t know what you said, but I appreciate it.” she earnestly said.
“Oh…” he replied semi-surprised, but he quickly recovered. “It was nothing.”
“Not to me,” she pressed. Aušra saw his steps stutter for the briefest of seconds. “Seriously, thank you.” She pushed her sincerest thanks into him. Briefly smiling at him.
They ended up walking together out to the parking lot. She waved goodbye as she split off to head over to her car.
“Have a good weekend. See ya Monday.” Jasper said suddenly. It wasn’t loud —just barely louder than his normal volume— but she for sure heard it.
Aušra smiled and turned back to him, “you too Jasper, see ya Monday.”
———•<•>•———
Aušra packed all the stuff needed for her Halloween costume (including makeup), in an extra backpack she had. As well as normal clothes and basic toiletries.
She called Angela to see if she wanted her to bring anything specific— movies, snacks, etc. Angela said she could bring anything, but for movies they could only be PG-13 and ‘not too scary’. Angela also informed (though she said ‘warned’) Aušra that her dad was a Minister so their house was ‘kinda religious’ but that wasn’t an issue for Aušra.
She did a big realignment session in the interim time and played with Tamsus for a bit as well.
When the time came to leave, Aušra gave Tamsus plenty of kisses (and reassurance that ‘yes, I’m sure I’ll be okay’).
“I doubt anyone will be willing to make the trek down the driveway, but if they do, be nice.”
‘I am always nice.’
She could feel his smug amusement as she raised an eyebrow at that, pursing her lips in disbelief.
“mmhmm…”
He dropped into something more serious, ‘what if it is Edward snooping?’
She chewed her cheek, thinking for a moment, ‘if it’s Edward —on the property— I give you permission to 1) scare the shit out him and 2) run him off the property. No physical harm allowed. Don’t need him knowing you can do damage to them. Got it?’
He nodded enthusiastically, smiling (man, she loved that pitbull smile).
‘No physical damage, but psychological damage is allowed! Got it!’
She rolled her eyes, gave him one last kiss to the top of the head then headed to Angela’s.
———•<•>•———
Angela’s house was very ‘suburbia’. The only thing that was missing was the white picket fence. The inside was nice and homey though.
Mrs. Weber greeted Aušra in the kitchen. She was a taller woman probably in her late 30s/early 40s, medium brown skin and long dark hair that was pulled into a large bun. Angela looked a lot like her.
Aušra felt very welcome by her. Though she shouldn’t have expected anything less from a first generation Mexican immigrant. (Aušra got to enjoy her entire life’s story over the course of the remainder of the cooking. The basics being: she was born in Mexico but her family moved to the states when she was 8).
Mrs. Weber was extremely, pleasantly surprised at Aušra’s speaking and understanding of Spanish (though Aušra did ‘play dumb’ a bit in order to make it at least seem like she wasn’t completely fluent).
Mr. Weber was a very tall man (maybe 6’3/6’4?(193cm) but Aušra wasn’t the best at guessing tall people’s heights) —he was definitely where Angela got the rest of her height from— he had sandy brown hair, with dark, kind eyes. He was the softer spoken of the pair but still friendly enough, Angela probably took more after him in terms of personality.
Aušra understood she was essentially being politely interrogated by the couple. She made sure to embody as much ‘I’m a friendly, good-natured, very responsible teenager who will keep your daughter out of trouble’ as possible. It worked. Both parents seemed thoroughly charmed by her. Angela’s younger twin brothers, Joshua and Isaac, were polite (as much as 10 year olds could be) but still absolutely rambunctious.
Dinner was so fucking good. Aušra hadn’t had good, authentic Mexican food in a while. It was spicy but not in an unpleasant way (definitely something that would’ve KO’d her younger self though). She made sure to lay the compliments on thick, still continuing to ‘woo’ the Webers.
After dinner the girls retreated to Angela’s room to get ready for Halloween. Aušra changed into her dress in the bathroom.
It was a late 14th century inspired linen kirtle. Was it necessarily perfectly historically accurate? No. But was it dramatic? Yes.
A purple so dark it almost appeared black. She wore a white chemise with lace trim underneath it. It spiral-laced shut down the front, with separate sleeves that laced together at the joints. She had a moderately-sized bell sleeve that went over the dress’s current sleeve (starting at the elbow) to give to that classic medieval/fantasy flared dress sleeve (but that would be added after she got ready). The dress was tight around the torso and waist continuing to hug the upper part of her hips and butt, before flowing loose. It had a wide scooped neckline. It was supposed to be nearly off the shoulder, but she had altered the original pattern it to cover up the runic tattoos on her back.
With the dress on —and therefore her tattoos covered— she joined Angela back in her room.
Angela stopped putting on her accessories and stared at Aušra mouth slightly agape, “oh my gosh that dress looks so good on you!”
Aušra thanked her and complimented her costume as well. She said her mother had helped her put it together, altering some things they found at the Goodwill.
Angela was dressed up like a pirate. White ruffly shirt, loose brown trousers, eye patch, felt tricorn hat, the whole shebang. She even had something that was vaguely imitating some sort of 18th century long waistcoat.
They chatted the entire time both of them were getting ready. Angela was a lot more out going and talkative at home.
Aušra started on her makeup, she had decided on a dark, vampy-goth look. She smoked out the dark purple eyeshadow to an absolutely excessive degree. Carefully riding the line between goth ‘high-fashion’ and raccoon eyes. She sharply lined her lips with a dark burgundy lipstick.
Aušra parted her hair into pigtails, braided each end, then pinned them up preparing for her wig. It was long (going to her mid back), straight, and blue-black in color. She put on the wig, securing the band and bobby pinning it to her head just in case.
Aušra adorned herself with a myriad of campy bat and spider motif jewelry. Like nearly a ridiculous amount. A bat-swarm necklace made up of at least 20 bats of different sizes and silhouettes each dangling off of different lengths of tiny chains. One dangling earring that looked like a spider descending on a chain, the other looked like a bat was hanging upside down from her earlobe. A medieval chain belt made of linked together bats. And just so. many. rings. (like multiple per finger).
For the finishing touches, Aušra carefully draped a chain spiderweb head piece over her wig, securing it in a few places. She hiked and tucked her skirt into the chain belt, put on some black and purple striped socks and took the pair of medieval turnshoes out of her bag.
She looked herself over in her handheld mirror. Her eyes stood out too much. Their olive green color looked out of place with everything else (the purple eyeshadow certainly made them pop, but they didn’t fit the overall aesthetic). She should’ve brought some colored contacts with her. Angela had left the room a few minutes ago to help her mom get her brothers ready. Aušra cast a quick spell that tinted her irises a blood red. She looked herself over again.
Much better.
“You look so good!” Angela exclaimed, as Aušra came down the steps.
She thanked her. Angela said they’d be leaving soon.
She heard Joshua and Isaac complaining to Mrs Weber about not wanting to wear a jacket over their costumes. She smiled, but that reminded her, normal people would get chilly in the type of weather they were having. Luckily, she had thought of that beforehand. Her and Angela made their way to the front door to put on their shoes.
Aušra excused herself to grab something from her car. Angela said they’d meet her out there. She grabbed the mid-length, woolen cloak that she’d put in the backseat and threw it around her shoulders, fastening the neck clasp.
Angela and her brothers were outside just a minute later (all three wearing coats). The twins were wearing Spider-Man suits —the kind with fake, stuffed, muscles— as well as plastic masks.
Mrs Weber took pictures of her kids together in costume before they left.
———•<•>•———
All-in-all trick-or-treating with Angela was fun. They had met up with some of the boys’ friends from the neighborhood and they kept each other entertained. Angela and Aušra talked basically the whole time (though Angela did go up to the doors with her brother while Aušra stayed at the end of the driveways).
They were probably about 45 minutes into trick-or-treating when Aušra felt something off. Her sensing runes were semi-useless in crowds, other than acting like a radar of sorts, letting Aušra know where people were in her vicinity. No, this was something different. Something instinctual. Not instinctual in the way of being born with it, but in the way of doing something so often that it happens unconsciously.
She honed in on the feeling while Angela and her brothers walked up to knock on the door.
There was something or someone nearby that shouldn’t have been. Something that her subconscious was sending out small warning bells for. (She could tell it wasn’t a major threat, just something small).
There were a good amount of places to hide between houses. But it’d have to be semi-close if she was feeling it. She scanned the area she could see —nothing. She turned and slowly scanned behind her—again, nothing.
Weird…
She wasn’t one to brush feelings like this off. She trusted her instincts, they’re what had kept her alive and (mostly) in one piece for this long. She turned back around as she heard Angela and the boys walking back, still keeping an eye out. Even though she knew it was something ‘small potatoes’ Misha’s oft repeated words echoed in her mind. ‘All threats should be thought of as deadly until proven otherwise.’
Isaac and Josh tried to run ahead to the next house, but Angela reprimanded them saying ‘the same candy that’s there now will be there in 30 seconds!’ She turned to Aušra as they fell into step heading for the next house, “everything okay?” she asked.
“Yeah? Why wouldn’t it be?” Aušra replied.
Angela shrugged, “I don’t know, you were just looking around concerned. Just wanted to make sure.”
“Oh. Uh, it’s nothing, just got a weird feeling all of a sudden.” she said.
Angela dropped the subject and they returned to their previous conversation.
Aušra looked again (though more subtly this time) when they reached the next driveway. She saw strange movement out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head slightly and focused on it without actually looking directly at it.
It was a man (or at least an older teenager), in a costume, probably about 20 feet away, trying to act nonchalant. Looked like they were wearing a dark cloak along with what appeared to be some sort of white mask over their face. She shifted her head a few degrees farther, to bring them better into focus. She suppressed a sigh.
Fuckin’ Edward. Can’t he just leave me alone for once?… also what the hell is he wearing?
She whipped her head to him (faster than should be possible for a ‘mere mortal’), eyes snapping to his.
She blinked.
Is that a (shitty) Phantom of the Opera costume?
It is! God, what a theater dweeb!
She ignored the voice that said ‘you’re the one who recognized it immediately.’
She stared him down, unblinkingly. He took up that same stupid ‘deer-caught-in-the-headlights’ stance of unsure whether to run or stay put. She was sure if he’d had blood it would’ve been completely drained from his face.
She turned away from him, back to facing the house Angela and her brothers were at. When she was rejoined by her friend, something dawned on her.
She let out a quiet, startled laugh.
Ha! My eyes are blood red right now! Like a vampire’s.
And he wouldn’t’ve be able to see any signs that they were contacts either! No wonder he looked like he was about to shit himself.
Angela looked over at her, confused by the sudden laughter. Aušra was able to pass it off as her remembering something silly Tamsus had done earlier.
She didn’t see Edward when they stopped at the next house. (She didn’t feel his energy when she felt for it either).
Good.
She pulled out her compact and looked at her eyes in the little mirror. She should probably make those look more like colored contacts —just in case. She caused a faint bluish ring to appear on her scleras just outside her irises. Then, pulled back the red away from her pupil, letting a small amount of the natural color peek through. She inspected her work for a moment, it was convincing. She put the compact away.
“Something wrong with your makeup?” Angela asked when they regrouped.
Damn, she’s perceptive.
“Nah, my eye was bothering me, wanted to make sure my contacts were still in right.”
Angela nodded and they continued on.
About ten minutes after Edward disappeared, Aušra felt the telltale feeling of vampire(s) entering her aura (which she had been casting out farther than usual due to Edward’s creeping).
“I swear if it’s Edward again I’m gonna wring his neck.” she breathed, barely audible to even her.
She turned around to face the source but was surprised to find not Edward, but Jasper and Alice? They were walking on the sidewalk on the opposite side of the road. She blinked in surprise.
Alice was smiling (like usual) and looked as if she’d be skipping if she could. Jasper had a lightly amused but neutral expression on his face (Aušra had noted earlier that he also had Resting Pissed Face). Alice was jabbering away about something. She looked over when she noticed someone staring.
Aušra saw her squint a little and take a deeper breath in. Then, recognition broke across her face. She smiled wider and waved excitedly, grasping Jasper’s hand and pulling him with as she half jogged across the street (after looking both ways).
“Hey Aušra!” she said coming to a stop with a little bounce.
Angela startled a bit beside Aušra.
“Hey guys, thought y’all weren’t doing Halloween?” Aušra said.
“We’re not! I like your costumes by the way!” Alice replied peppily.
“Thanks! I guess that makes sense, since y’all aren’t dressed up…”
Angela tapped on Aušra’s arm then indicated she had to keep up with her brothers. Aušra nodded, “give me a sec, I’ll catch up.”
Angela gave her a small thumbs up before heading off.
“Whaddya mean? We are dressed up. Can’t you tell?” Jasper said with a small shit-eating grin.
Aušra raised her eyebrow in challenge, “oh are you?”
For a moment Jasper had a glimmer of mirth in his gaze, and Aušra was so ready to hear what his comeback was. But, then it died, and his face fell slightly. She could feel him pulling back like he had done a week ago after the library.
He forced a smirk and some humor into his tone but it wasn’t the same, “oh you know… high schoolers.”
Aušra smiled and rolled her eyes, tying to ignore the fact that that wasn’t what he wanted to say, “very funny, but seriously what are you guys doing out here?”
“Oh um…” Alice looked at Jasper nervously.
Aušra looked them over quickly. Their eyes were bright yellow and she noticed small amounts of dirt/debris on their pants and shoes. So they likely just got back from feeding, but that didn’t explain what they were doing out in town…
Oh duh, they’re probably looking for Edward.
“We’re looking for Edward—”
Called it.
“—he was supposed to be home by now, for dinner, and he’s not answering his phone, so Carlisle and Esme sent us out to look for ‘im.” Jasper said with a hint of exasperation in his voice. “Don’t suppose you’ve happened to’ve seen him have ya?” He looked at her with just a smidge of hope and desperation in his eyes.
She smiled knowing she’d be able to at least kinda solve their dilemma and possibly get Edward beat up again, “actually yeah, I have. It was like ten minutes ago, I think?”
They looked at her intrigued.
She continued, “yeah he was wearing this really cheap looking rayon cape and white plastic Phantom of the Opera mask.—” Alice suppressed a cringe. “—I turned around and he was just standing there, awkwardly. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was following me,” she ‘joked’. She saw Jasper’s jaw clench ever so slightly.
“Do you know where he went?” Alice said.
Aušra shook her head, “Nah, but I didn’t see him pass us, so I’d guess back the way he came? Sorry.”
“That’s okay! Thanks anyways!” Alice said before grabbing Jasper by the hand and pulling the two of them back across the street.
Trick-or-treating was uninterrupted after that.
———•<•>•———
The actual sleepover part of the night went really well.
When they got home from trick-or-treating, both girls showered then got dressed in their pjs.
Angela was granted use of the basement for it (and thus use of the basement’s entertainment system).
They must’ve stayed up til past 1am watching old monster movies. Aušra had an extensive movie collection that she’d gathered over the years. And she brought along a good selection.
Some dumb (affectionate), like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Others were her personal favorites, like Tremors and Tremors 2: Aftershocks.
At least a third of the time the movies were paused and they were just talking. It was nice, normal. Exactly what Aušra had been expecting from Forks before vampires threw a wrench in her plans.
They had planned on going back to Angela’s room to sleep, but they both ended up falling asleep on the basement couch.
They woke up (relatively) early the next morning (9am). Mrs Weber made them all breakfast.
Aušra headed home around 10:30. Mrs Weber had offered for her to stay later but, as much as she would’ve loved staying and hanging out with Angela more, she had things she needed to get done that day.
Tamsus was waiting for her on the porch when she got home.
“Hey buddy, how was last night?”
‘Mostly boring… I thought Edward was going to come into our territory —I could smell him getting closer— but Jasper and someone else intercepted him before he made it.’
She dropped her bags down onto the countertops, “aww… buddy don’t sound so disappointed.”
‘BUT I AM! I wanted to scare him so bad!’
‘Would it help if I told you I got to scare him last night?’
‘Maybe…’ He looked at her intrigued, begging for her to continue.
She recounted their whole ‘interaction’ to him. His tail was subtly wagging the entire time.
‘Ha! That is funny! I wish I could have seen it myself. Makes me a bit more sad that I was not able to see his stupid face though…’
‘Would coming with me to Port Angeles to run some errands make you feel better?’ s he asked, knowing his answer already.
‘Yes!’
Notes:
A/N: I need y’all to know that this is what Jasper was gonna say before I decided that it’d be too OOC so it’s just some alternate timeline shit but:
Whaddya mean? We are dressed up. Can’t you tell?” Jasper said with a small shit-eating grin.
Aušra raised her eyebrow in challenge, “oh are you?”
“Yeah, we’re vampires obviously, they’re not all of them are ugly, old, clawed, Nosferatu-types in capes, ya know. I’m sure some of them can be rather cool and normal, like Spike from Buffy.”
She barked a laugh of surprised laughter. Alice looked horrified for a split second before schooling her face into amusement and giving a small laugh.
Once Aušra stopped laughing she responded “Funny, but seriously what are you guys doing out here?”
A friend I had in high school was emancipated and he had to fight the school tooth and nail bc they were bitching about him signing all his own shit, even though the school knew he was emancipated! Like they just kept going back and forth and back and forth, he eventually had to show up with the fucking original court documents and (that they already should’ve had copies of) proving he was his own legal guardian. It was a mess. (Also skip to later, there’s a bomb threat (fake- yay America! 🙄) so we were evacuated and parents could come to pick us up and sign us out (bc the school day wasn’t over with yet) and they refused to let him sign himself out even though he was 18 at that point and had proven to them multiple times that he was his own damn legal guardian! Needless to say he was fucking pissed.)
Shoutout to Goodwill, you’ve helped me find stuff for so many costumes. (As well as so many trinkets for my goblin brain).
I was definitely not thinking of the Spider-Man Pointing meme when I put Angela’s brothers in the same costume, how dare you accuse me of something that!
Once again describing clothes is difficult Aušra’s basic dress design color HEX #220c30.
Aušra’s eye makeup this but more smoked out along the edges & w/o the “tears”
Chapter 11: Weekend Plans
Summary:
While running some errands in Port Angeles on Saturday, Aušra runs into someone unexpected. Then, on Sunday, she joins Charlie, the Blacks, and the Clearwaters on a fishing trip.
Notes:
A/N: not me doing a stupid amount of Fish and Wildlife research about what species and sizes are allowed to be caught all year round in the La Push area. And what baits are best I legit did at least 1.5 hours of research, is it relevant—no. Could I stop myself? —also no…
Also, Billy Black can drive because he got a truck made for him when he lost use of his legs. I have a hard time believing that the Tribe wouldn’t pitch in and help him pay for that. like, no way are they allowing a baby Jacob to illegally drive him around after his wife died in a car accident?? Nuh-uh! Not on my watch Stephanie! So in my AU Billy Black can drive.Have I been writing content for this story almost nonstop? Yes. Has most of it been for this chapter? Oh! Would you look at that! This wall is very interesting…
So…heh, sorry about the ‘late’ update.(not that I have an actual update schedule)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Tamsus sat in the backseat (Aušra refused to let him sit up front ever since the standardization of air bags) with his nose shoved as far out the window as the gap would allow. She had put on his favorite hoodie before they left, a blue and green tie-dye number (she had on a matching one) which served no other purpose than to make him look a little less intimidating out in public.
It was sprinkling lightly when they arrived in town. Aušra parallel parked on the side of a main road.
She popped some coins into the parking meter (noticed some people were almost out of time and threw some coins into for them as well) and hooked Tamsus up to the cross-body leash she’d brought along.
‘…this is humiliating…’ He threw her a look, grumbling.
‘Seriously? The leash is humiliating but the matching hoodies aren’t?’
‘The matching hoodies is called style. The leash is demeaning. As if I am some common household pet.’
She rolled her eyes, ‘please … you know the rules of walking around in public.’
‘You could always just make it an illusion…’
‘And waste all that energy? No thanks. If you don’t like it, I can always just… leave you in the car…’
She would question why he was being unusually combative this morning, but she could feel the levity he was trying to smother.
He sat quiet for a moment contemplating, ‘No, it is fine. I will put up with this minor humiliation.’
‘Good. Because I was planning on getting you a treat and maybe a new toy from the pet store, but only if you went in there to pick it out with me.’ She thought at him smugly. They started walking down the street.
Tamsus stared at her wide-eyed, his tail twitching. He was attempting to school his glee into something more neutral. Unaffected. He almost got there. ‘Well, good. I have been needing a new toy. My other ones are beat up and do not work as well. And I deserve a treat too!’ he thought primly, giving a decisive nod.
‘Oh, you deserve a treat do you, and what, pray tell, would that be for?’
He lifted his head proudly, ‘I was unable to exact vengeance upon Edward last night for his many infractions against you. It pained me greatly. I deserve recompense.’
‘‘Vengeance’?’ she questioned skeptically. He curtly nodded. Aušra smiled and rolled her eyes at his melodramatics, patting him on the head.
‘Okay, Batman. I suppose your ‘suffering’ should be rewarded with a treat…’ she ‘relented’.
His gait changed in a way that seemed (to Aušra at least) to radiate smugness.
(Misha and Aurelia would probably tease her for being so much of a ‘pushover’ with her familiar —they certainly had in the past— but, Tamsus was a very good boy, and she liked to indulge his little whims every now and again.)
They walked around downtown shops a bit, mostly window shopping, though they did go into a few establishments.
There was a flea market that they wandered through. She picked up some information on how to get herself a booth.
There was a Bait and Tackle Shop where she bought some new hooks, and a couple of different live baits. Even though Charlie specifically had said ‘all you gotta bring is yourself, we’ll provide the rest,’ Aušra wasn’t one to show up empty handed to someone else’s fully planned out fishing trip (especially because she would very much like to be invited back). Not wanting to be carry lugworms and chicken hearts around with her, she brought the live baits back to her car, depositing them in the trunk.
‘I smell vampires. I do not know who, but they smell vaguely of Carlisle. Definitely not Edward or Jasper though.’ Tamsus reported.
Aušra hummed in response.
The next store that caught her interest was a video game store. There was clear signage displaying, ‘No Pets Allowed’. She tied Tamsus off to the bike rack adjacent to the shop door. He stood there looking at her unamused.
‘I’ll only be a few minutes. I’ll get you an extra treat at the pet store ‘kay?’
He narrowed his eyes, but sat down placated, nonetheless.
A bell rang as she opened the door to the shop. A dead-eyed (maybe high) teenager stood behind the counter with a very animated Emmett standing in front of them.
“No way dude! Mew could totally kick Mewtwo’s ass! Also, do y’all have that new game, Call of Duty that came out recently?” Emmett was saying.
Aušra did her best to not pay attention to their discussion, though they were the only real noise in the shop which made it difficult. She knew what she wanted and headed over to the Nintendo section. She grabbed the lone copy of The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker, then made her way back to the counter.
It seemed as though Emmett had already paid for his items and was just staying for the conversation with the clerk.
“You’re wrong dude, Mewtwo is, for sure, more powerful than Mew. He was genetically engineered to be so.” The (now that she was closer, definitely high) store clerk said.
Oh, they’re still on this topic?
Emmett looked over at Aušra whom —judging by his face— he just realized was also in the shop. He recovered quickly from his shock.
“Oh hey Aušra!” he said cheerfully.
“Hey Emmett,” she responded with a smile.
“You into Pokémon?” She nodded slowly, seeing where this was likely going, “so who do you think is more powerful? Mew or Mewtwo?”
She thought about it for a moment. “Well… I suppose that depends on what your definition of ‘powerful’ is, and if we were talking anime or video game versions… but in either case if we were to go off of a basic 1v1 fight: I think Mew would win.”
Emmett let out what could best be described as a cackle of victory. But before he could further gloat, the shop employee —Jonny as his name tag called him— rebutted, “nah that’s total BS, Mewtwo is totally stronger and smarter than Mew!”
Aušra’s face contorted in disbelief, “Absolutely not. Mew is the original legendary, Mewtwo is the knock-off legendary that humans made and added a few cooler looking features to make it look more intimidating.”
“But it’s because Mewtwo was genetically engineered by humans that makes him so powerful!” Johnny replied.
“I might allow you to make the point that Mewtwo has more raw power than Mew, but that doesn’t make it stronger overall. Mew can learn basically any attack —which in Gen 1 alone is over 230— whereas Mewtwo can only learn somewhere around 40 moves in Gen 1!” Emmett countered.
“Yeah and that’s not taking into account that Mew is the literal genetic ancestor of all Pokémon, meaning it also has thousands of years of battle experience on Mewtwo. Plus Mew can go invisible. And I know what you’re probably gonna say, ‘Mewtwo would be able to sense Mew using it’s Psychic powers’ but that would take time and energy away from its ability to fight, thus giving Mew an even further advantage.
“And back to one of your original points, the thought that he’s more powerful because he was made by humans is ludicrous. Humanity has never been able to copy or imitate nature and have our copy end up better than nature’s original.”
Emmett looked at her like she was the first person he’d heard speaking English after years living in a foreign country unable to understand anything. “Thank you! That’s what I’ve been trying to explain to this plebeian! The only reason people think Mewtwo is more powerful is because it looks more imposing than the ‘cute baby Mew’. Also, the fact that it’s bipedal and was given the ability to communicate with humans! It’s pure hubris! Humans equate things with human-like traits as being better or stronger or more intelligent or whatever just because they like to view themselves at the ‘Top of the Pyramid’! It’s like the nepotism of the animal kingdom!”
Aušra paused, her whole view of the vampire shifting slightly, then pushed the copy of Wind Waker across the counter to Johnny to ring up. “Couldn’t’ve said it better myself, Emmett.”
He grinned at her. Johnny rang her up in a bitter silence. After he was done she continued to her finishing statement. “But the real question, is ‘why we gotta pit two bad bitches against one another?’ I think they should just kiss.” She dropped it casually.
Johnny just stared at her, mouth partially agape, an expression of confused disgust twisting his face.
Emmett exploded into laughter. Loud laughter. His arm swung around and clapped her on the back. Aušra startled and stumbled slightly from the force and unexpectedness of it. It definitely wasn’t full force but damn. Effing Žmogus-lokys.
*bear man*
“Ow.” she stated deadpan, not truly hurting.
“Oh shit! Sorry…” Emmett exclaimed, rubbing the back of his neck abashedly.
Aušra grabbed the bag the cashier slid over to her and shrugged, “no issues dude, didn’t hurt that much. Just, be mindful.”
She turned and headed to the door. Emmett grabbed his stuff from the countertop as well, and rushed to beat her to it. She stopped when he cut in front of her. He opened the door for her.
“Ladies first,” he said, sweeping his arm as if to grant her passage.
Okay……this is a little weird…
She walked through giving him a small nod in thanks. He gasped.
“That dog is wearing a hoodie! That’s so stinkin’ adorable.” He was obviously excited, but his tone sounded harsh, like he was suppressing anger.
“Oh uh, thanks…?” Aušra said, still confused about the whole interaction.
He turned to look at her, confusion slowly morphing into realization (likely from seeing the matching hoodies). “That’s your dog?!”
“Yeah, his name is Tamsus,” she replied untying him from the bike rack.
“Tamsus?” he echoed poorly. She must’ve winced a little at his pronunciation because he let out a small chuckle, “that bad, huh?”
“It wasn’t awful… just the ending is… off. It’s less like ‘zuhs’ and more like…” she paused trying to think of a word that would help him understand the sound he needed. “More like ‘Zeus’? But with a soft ‘z’?” She repeated it one more time for him. Emmett repeated it back perfectly, she nodded her approval.
“He’s really cute, uh—” he seemed to be internally debating something. “Can I, um, pet him? Maybe?”
She looked down at Tamsus, meeting his gaze, “ya want him to pet you?”
He subtly looked Emmett up and down, ‘he can pet me.’
He stood up and walked closer to Emmett, who looked to Aušra for confirmation.
“That means yes. Go for it dude,” she said, not bothering to hold back her amused smile.
Emmett’s eyes went wide and a large grin cut across his face as he dropped into a crouch. He was gentle at first, almost hesitant, but as soon as he saw Tamsus’s lazy tail wag he upped the intensity. By the end, Emmett was vigorously rubbing and scratching Tamsus’s wiggling body. She could only feel pure delight radiating from Tamsus. Emmett stood up with an even bigger smile on his face.
Damn, was he bigger than she remembered? She knew that vampires bodies didn’t really change after they changed… but it sure did feel like he was bigger... Maybe because they were standing closer? No, they were close-ish in the shop. Her eye level was not even above his shoulders! Hell, she wasn’t even sure the top of her head reached his shoulders!
Dude’s illegally sized, she thought.
He let out a sharp, hearty laugh that startled her a little —though she didn’t show it.
“Oh god! I’m so sorry! That was really effing rude.” she apologized immediately when she realized she had said that last part aloud.
“Nah you’re fine, I get it a lot. That’s one of the funnier ways someone’s said it though. Most of the time it’s just ‘damn you’re big/huge/a giant’ ecetera… ‘illegally sized’, I like that.” He was smiling the entire time he spoke —though she was starting to fully realize that was just his natural state— she was relieved she hadn’t offended him. There was a slightly too long silence.
“Sooooo…” Emmett said rolling back onto his heels. “Where ya headed to next?”
Why does he want to know that? She thought, suspicion started to bubble up within her.
She studied his face. His expression just displayed open, earnest curiosity, but it was slowly shifting to worry the longer she stayed quiet. She shook away her sudden paranoia.
“Pet store. Promised him some treats and a new toy.” she said, nodding towards Tamsus.
“Oh! Umm… That’s right next to the car part store. Rosalie’s actually waiting there for me to come back… would you want to walk together?” he asked hesitantly. Aušra must’ve taken a hair too long to respond because he quickly added, “totally up to you though! I guess, that is, if you’re walking there. You could be driving there for all I know. I’m not trying to bum a ride or anything from ya—” he rattled on.
“I’m walking there,” she said stopping his rambling. “You’re welcome to walk with me.”
She hadn’t realized how tense he had gotten until she saw his shoulders drop, the rest of his body relaxing.
He grinned, “sweet.”
They headed off in the direction of the pet store. The conversation was a bit tense at first, until she asked him what else he had bought at the game shop.
“Damn dude, three controllers? You that much of a rage gamer?” she joshed, knowing full well why he would have to buy so many.
He dipped his head, rubbing the back of it sheepishly. He chuckled a little nervously.
“I, uh, forget my own strength sometimes.”
“I bet. You’re jacked. I’m not nearly as buff as you and I accidentally break things by using too much force without thinking. I can imagine how it might be for you. So, ya know, no judgment.”
His smile returned. “you’re buff? I had no idea,” it wasn’t said condescendingly, but surprised with a touch of excitement.
“Yeah, I don’t really ‘advertise it’. Used to, but I got tired of dealing with the snide comments so stopped ‘flaunting it’.”
Aušra had a feeling he wanted to see her muscles, but was too polite or nervous to ask. “You wanna see?” she asked.
“Yeah, if that’s not too weird?”
She made a face dismissing the thought that it’d be weird. She pulled her arm out from her hoodie sleeve, snaking it out the bottom, exposing her arm and shoulder. She pulled up her t-shirt sleeve and flexed for him.
He nodded his head in approval, “Nice.”
“Thanks. I never really wanted to be muscular, like I never thought about it. It just kinda accidentally started to happen and I realized I really liked the way I looked. So, I actually started to work at it.” she humorously said.
“How’d do you ‘accidentally’ get buff?” Emmett asked with confused amusement.
“Manual labor,” she stated plainly. “For me, it was mostly having to chop firewood for the wood furnace. And then, ya know, woodworking obviously helped.”
He looked at her with slight confusion and surprise, “you do woodworking?”
She mirrored his expression, “yes…? Didn’t Carlisle or Jasper tell you guys?”
Emmett shook his head, “nah, all they said was that they had visited you.”
“Huh,” was all Aušra could manage. Her brain wasn’t sure what to do with that piece of information. She shook off the thought, she could think about it later.
They chatted the entire rest of the walk to the pet store. Emmett was loud and enthusiastic the entire time. They talked mostly about video games, which releases they were excited for (the new Mario Party and Mario Kart, along with a completely new game Fire Emblem), and some other ‘dumb’ arguments about inconsequential things in games.
When they reached the pet store, she was actually kinda sad they had to stop their conversation, but he needed to meet up with Rosalie.
“Tell Rosalie I said ‘hi’!” she called as he headed off to the store a block down.
“I will!” he called back, waving.
‘He was… interesting’
Aušra looked down at Tamsus, eyebrows raised. ‘Be careful what you say because I was gonna say he reminded me of you.’
Tamsus looked back at her giving her an incredulous look. ‘And why is that?’
‘Cause you both look big and scary, but are actually big ol’ excited softies.’
He stood there quiet for a moment.
‘Let us just go get my toys and treats.’ h e pouted softly.
She snickered at the annoyed defeat she felt in him.
“Okay buddy let’s go get you some treats.”
———•<•>•———
The rest of Saturday was filled with chores, meal prep, and finishing up her work.
———•<•>•———
Aušra awoke very early Sunday morning, dragging herself out of bed, wiping the crud from her eyes.
She turned on the radio/CD player in the kitchen, tuning into the a local radio station. She sleepily shuffled around the kitchen making her breakfast and packing some snacks, mostly tuned out the radio until it got to the weather forecast. Low of 30F (-1C), high of 45F (7C), scattered showers. Not terribly cold, but if she was gonna be on a boat in the (likely windy) ocean, she was going to need a some layers to be comfortable. (Her body could withstand much higher and lower temperatures than a human’s could, but that didn’t make it fun or pleasant to do so).
She shut off the radio once the forecast was finished, bustling around the house continuing to get ready. Packing some quiet things to do (little Christmas ornaments she was carving to sell later and a small sketchbook), along with her ‘tribute’ bait. She had plenty of shareable snacks (along with a bottle of hand sanitizer). She zipped up her bag, threw on her boots, grabbed her windbreaker, and sat by the door waiting for Charlie to pick her up.
When she heard the sound of tires on gravel, she gave Tamsus a kiss on the head, slung her backpack over her shoulder and headed out to wait on the porch steps.
When she entered Charlie’s car, she gave him a sleepy smile. He returned it with a head nod and a gruff “morning”.
She buckled up, put her backpack on the ground between her legs and the grocery bag of bait between her and Charlie. He eyed it questioningly.
“It’s bait.” she answered the unsaid question. He opened his mouth, but she knew what he was going to say and beat him to the punch, “I know you said I didn’t have to bring anything, but I was always taught growing up that, you don’t show up ‘with one arm as long as the other.’ —” Charlie looked confused so she clarified, “—basically, you don’t show up to a function empty handed. Y’all’re letting me use your boat —plus the gas it uses, your rods, letting me encroach on any fish that y’all might’ve otherwise caught, and you’re giving me a ride there. I’m not a freeloader, the least I can do is show up with bait and some snacks.”
“Alright, alright, you’ve got me there,” he chuckled, conceding. He put the car into reverse and turned it around to head back up her driveway.
———•<•>•———
The drive to the La Push docks wasn’t overly long, probably around 35 minutes. Charlie talked about his two friends that they’d be fishing with, Harry and Billy. Along with Jacob, Billy’s son —who was 13 (a baby!) and Leah, Harry’s daughter —who was 17 (also technically ‘a baby’ to Aušra, but less so).
Aušra listened to stories of his childhood with them. The mischief they got into as teens. Charlie seemed less tired while he spoke of them. Before she knew it they were pulling up into the dock’s parking lot. She helped Charlie haul his stuff down to the boat. The sun still wasn’t quite up yet but the gangways were decently lit.
She wasn’t exactly sure what kind of boat she was expecting, but the old, commercial fishing boat she was met with surprised her. It reeked of fish, but so did everything else around her.
“Permission to board?” Charlie called out.
“Permission granted, Charlie!” a warm voice called back from the cockpit.
Aušra was almost positive that Charlie had informed his friends that she was coming along, so the permission was also likely extended to her… but she wanted to be polite, so she called out, “me as well, sir?”
She heard a warm, faint chuckle over the sound of water hitting the hull. “You as well,” said the voice she assumed was Billy.
Charlie insisted that he boarded first and then offered his hand to help her in. She took it graciously —even though she didn’t need it —for his peace of mind (his daughter Bella, was apparently a very ‘accident prone’ girl).
They walked around to the cockpit?, cabin?, bridge? door (she never was any good with modern boat anatomy).
Billy Black was seated on a tall chair at the helm. He shifted sideways in it so he could see them better. He looked to be about the same age as Charlie. He had brown skin that looked weathered by many years of work in the sun. His face currently held a soft, kind smile, but something told Aušra that that face could easily hold a real mean scowl if it wanted.
“I’m Billy Black,” he said sticking his arm out across his body towards her, “sorry, I’d get up and greet you but…” he gestured to his legs nonchalantly, “you must be Aušra?” he said her name slowly, hesitantly, like he wasn’t sure he got the pronunciation right (which he did get it right).
“Yep, that’s me.” she replied, shaking his hand.
She proffered her gift of bait to Billy. He took the grocery bag, confused.
“It’s bait—lugworms and chicken hearts. I know y’all said I didn’t have to bring anything but I was always taught that you shouldn’t show up to something like this empty-handed.”
“I appreciate the offering,” he said, warmly. “Please take a seat, Harry’s running a bit late. Apparently Leah took multiple attempts to rouse this morning, and then took longer than usual to get ready but ‘threatened mutiny’ if he left without her.”
She took the seat opposite of Billy.
“Yeah, that sounds like her.” Charlie chuckled, walking over to the bench at the back of the cockpit. “Hey kiddo, sit up, you’re taking up all the space!” He ruffled the head of long hair of the grumbling mound of blankets that Aušra had just noticed the existence of.
“My son, Jacob,” Billy amusingly explained.
Aušra nodded, watching the grouchy, still baby-faced, teen drag himself (and the mountain of blankets on top of him) upright, blearily looking around, squinting, a pout on his lips. He was barely upright a moment before he ‘fell’ sideways against the adjacent wall with a quiet thunk. Which was followed by a small pouting noise from the sentient pile of blankets.
Awww…what a widdle baby!
Aušra had to bite her bottom lip hard to keep from bursting into a fit of giggles. After a few moments —when she was no longer in danger of an outburst— she looked over at Billy and quietly asked, “‘s not a morning person I take it?”
Billy smiled wide, tossing a look over at his son, then closed his eyes and shook his head fondly —he looked like he was also holding back a chuckle or two. He looked back to Aušra and more mouthed than whispered, “No, not at all.”
Aušra leaned back a little in her chair and closed her eyes listening to the sounds of the docks. Charlie and Billy were mostly quiet with the occasional low comment as they all waited for the Clearwaters to arrive.
As soon as Leah and Harry were boarded, Jacob was (surprisingly) up and helping his father, Harry, and Charlie unmoor the boat.
Leah came into the cockpit and took up Jacob’s abandoned seat. She looked at Aušra, nodded in greeting, then put her head back against the wall.
As soon as the ship was underway, everyone took shelter in the cockpit as they began to pick up speed. She was introduced to Harry and Leah (formally that is, they knew who she was).
Jacob complained that Leah had stolen his seat. Which she replied to with a smirk and a smug, “I didn’t see your name on it,” before closing her eyes again. Aušra was about to stand up and give her seat to the still pouting Jacob when Harry stopped her.
“This happens every time. He doesn’t actually care, he just likes complaining about anything she does. He’s like Seth —my youngest— in that way,” he said quietly, leaning in closer to her.
When they arrived at their intended fishing spot and dropped anchor, Billy maneuvered his way into to his wheelchair that Jacob had just un-collapsed, and wheeled himself out onto the deck
The sun was just barely risen above the horizon, casting a warm glow across the sky and ocean. The sea was calm, only gently rocking the boat now that they were no longer in motion.
As promised, they had an extra rod for her to borrow. She baited her hook, cast, then placed her rod in one of the holders they had. After everyone had finished casting, they sat along the sides of the boat on some built in benches (except for Billy who just locked his wheelchair in place).
She sat there in silence for a minute or two before Leah turned and started talking to her.
“So, where’re you from?” she asked.
“Lithuania, originally that is. But if you mean where I just moved from, that’d be Wyoming.”
Leah nodded thoughtfully, “what’s Lithuania like, weather-wise?”
“Honestly? It’s not too dissimilar to here —at least in the area I grew up. It gets colder during the winter, and we didn’t have quite as much rain, but it was more consistently rainy throughout the year, when y’all get most of your rain in late fall through early spring, I think. But in general, it’s similar: rainy, humid, lots of trees etc…”
“So not a tropical paradise?” Leah said archly.
Aušra laughed, “it’s northeastern Europe, definitely not ‘tropical’ in any sense of the word.”
With the ice broken, their conversation flowed pretty naturally. Talking about hobbies and school and growing up in different (non-American) cultures. Aušra showed Leah the incomplete carved ornaments she had brought for finishing, which caught the attention of Jacob who had been sitting next to her ignoring their conversation, but was currently re-hooking his line as it had snapped a few minutes earlier.
“Woah,” Jacob marveled, “you made these?” Aušra nodded. He held out his hand and she passed him a mostly finished ornament.
Jacob took the one she handed to him —a small bear— and turned it over gingerly in his hands. “Are they all bears?” he asked not looking up.
“Nah, here, take a look, but only one out of the bag at a time, please.” she said, handing him the cloth pouch that held the rest.
He took it, his fishing rod abandoned and forgotten, still hookless. He retook his seat next to her, pulling out and examining one ornament at a time. Most were standard ornament baubles that she had turned out on her lathe previously and now all that was left was a little bit of patterning to make them look less plain. The others were mostly animals in various states of progress. He paid the most attention to those.
He looked them over as if hypnotized. The ones that were no more than rough animal-ish shapes, he’d try to guess what they were supposed to be at the end.
“It’s a wolf!” He exclaimed joyfully. “Dad look at this!”
“Calm down kid!” Leah reprimanded, as Jacob haphazardly dropped the pouch back into Aušra’s lap, practically leaping to the other side of the boat where the adults were having their own conversation.
He spun around and made a face, “I’m not a kid!”
“Yes, you are,” Aušra and Leah said simultaneously, almost with the exact same inflection. They then laughed when he pouted and turned back around to Billy.
Billy took the ornament from Jacob, looking it over.
“You made this?” he asked, looking over at Aušra. She nodded. “It’s good.” He handed it over to Harry, who nodded in concurrence.
“Thank you. That one’s only like, 75% done though.”
“I told you she was good,” Charlie said with a self-congratulatory smile.
“That you did,” Harry said, handing the wolf back to Jacob. “Why’d you bring them to fish?” There was no judgment in his face or voice, just open curiosity.
She shrugged, “didn’t know if this was a ‘talking scares off the fish’ kind of trip, so I brought stuff to do.” she said, using a gruff, slightly mocking voice for the ‘scaring fish’ part.
They chuckled.
“The woodworking reminds me, Charlie said you were looking for firewood?” Billy asked.
“Yeah, I am.”
“We can ask around the Rez for you, see if anyone has something,” Harry said.
“You guys don’t have to do that, but it would be much appreciated. Even if it’s whole firewood, I’m fine with having to split it myself. Hell, even if it’s a downed tree that needs cut up, I’ve got a chainsaw and know how to use it,” she said jovially.
“Well, we’ll see what we can do for you, but we can’t make any promises. Don’t expect too much this close to winter.” Harry said.
“It’s okay, I really appreciate even just the offer to help,” she said sincerely, then added, “I asked Carlisle as well, but he doesn’t know many people because he’s also new in town.”
Billy and Harry exchanged looks that Aušra wasn’t really sure how to interpret. The atmosphere on the boat seemed to change, to grow heavier. They seemed nervous, or on edge?
“…Carlisle Cullen?” Billy clarified, his voice tighter than it had been, filled with suspicion and maybe a hint of… disgust?
“Yeah… Dr. Carlisle Cullen...?” Aušra answered, confused on the sudden change in attitudes of the two men.
“Were you hurt or something? Why’d you meet with the doctor?” Charlie asked, concern etched into his features.
“Oh, no, nothing like that. He just stopped by and visited last Saturday —not yesterday, the previous Saturday.”
The two Quileute men exchanged another look.
“Why was he visiting you?” Harry probed.
Why did it feel like she was being interrogated by them? She looked at the two men with suspicion.
“Probably for the same reason that Charlie visited me?… I think he heard about me from his kids and wanted check in on me, make sure I was doing okay or something…told me to ask if I needed anything…” she said, disconcerted.
They shared another brief look with each other.
“Why are you asking?…” she added, not bothering to hide the suspicion from her voice.
Harry relaxed his posture and softened his expression, “we were just curious, sorry if we made you uncomfortable.” He looked at least somewhat remorseful.
Aušra looked between the two gentlemen, still confused by their ‘outburst’ when they heard Carlisle’s name.
What’s their beef with Carlisle? Or maybe it’s the Cullens in general?
All were then distracted by three lines being tugged on practically at the same time.
Aušra studiously avoided any topic or mention of the Cullens after that though. (Not that she had been planning on bringing them up in the first place, but she definitely wasn’t doing so now.)
———•<•>•———
Fishing was a success! Aušra had caught 2 decent sized trout and was invited back ‘anytime’. All-in-all a very productive trip.
She got home around 10:30. She and Leah had exchanged cell phone numbers. She traded home phone numbers with Billy and Harry as well. She had never had so many adults interested in her well being. It was…weird (not that they cared, she just felt weird because she wasn’t a teenager).
First thing she did was gut and debone her fish. She cut one into smaller fillets, and the other she kept as two large fillets. Then into the freezer everything went.
She showered (to get rid of the fish smell that was clinging to her). Then headed out to her wood shop.
She turned a few more ornaments (these ones a bit more teardrop shaped) and went back to carving.
She had brought her portable DVD player and was rewatching Star Trek: The Next Generation while she worked. Around 5pm she got a text.
Leah:
Hey (it’s Leah btw). My
dad wanted 2 know if ur
home right now, or
will be in an hr?
Me:
Yeah? He has my #
right?
Leah:
Yeah tried calling u
didnt pick up.
Me:
Oh lol. I’m in my wood
shop.
Leah:
lol hes gonna be by in
1.5hr. If thats ok?
Me:
Yeah y he comin?
Leah:
Idk, says he has smthng
4 u?
Me:
K
Okay…that’s weird. Why’s Harry coming over?
She hoped it wasn’t to continue any sort of conversation about the Cullens.
She went back to work.
———•<•>•———
She had just put the banana bread and muffins, (she had bought bananas and let them go ‘bad’ for that purpose) in the oven when she was ‘interrupted’ (is it really interrupting if you know they’re coming) by a knock on the door. She set a timer and went to answer the door.
It wasn’t just Harry.
Harry, Leah, and Jacob had showed up. As well as both Quil Atearas (father and son) and Sam Uley (Leah’s boyfriend).
With them was two truck beds full of already chopped (and seasoned!) firewood. Along with a small trailer full of logs ready to be chopped.
Harry had apparently found someone with ‘plenty of wood to spare’ (though she wasn’t sure how much she believed him).
After being assured multiple times that she wasn’t taking from someone else who needed it as well; she helped them unload, stack, and cover the wood.
Aušra required that they left with all of her banana bread (it was the absolute least she could do for the wood and the help). Everyone who would accept (which was all of them) left with either a bone-crushing hug or side-hug, along with probably 100 ‘thank you’s.
She wasn’t used to practical strangers being so kind.
Notes:
A/N: FYI, ‘seasoned’ firewood is just firewood that’s been cut and set out to dry. Even wood from a long dead tree needs to dry. It takes at least a couple months (depending on the climate and size of pieces). Non-seasoned firewood is harder to start, doesn’t burn as hot and produces a lot more smoke and soot.
FYI Emmett has never once broken a controller in rage or anger. He just gets tense and accidentally crushes them. Also man plays a lot of horror games which doesn’t help.
I didn’t intend for it to “be a thing” but when I was reading this chapter to my partner (part of my editing process, bless him for “putting up with it”) and we got to the “The (definitely high) store clerk said.” My partner quipped, “yeah he’d have to be high to believe that bullshit opinion of his.” I love this man so much.Also shout out to forvo.com for its vast array of ‘foreign’ language pronunciations (that’s where I’m getting all my info for Lithuanian pronunciations fyi, if you happen to know Lithuanian —side note: holy crap so cool hit me up please I’d love to talk— and the pronunciations are wrong I’m sorry, lmk and I’ll change ‘em.
Did I look up the exact weather in Forks for Nov 2, 2003? Yes, yes I did.
Chapter 12: Strange, the Passage of Time (pt. 1)
Summary:
As time passes Jasper and Aušra get closer. Jasper has feelings about this.
Notes:
A/N: ugh, I love writing from Jasper’s perspective but remembering to describe everyone’s emotions (and finding good, interesting descriptions of how he feels those emotions) is hard. I’m inspired by lindsaydrumm’s reader/OC character for Break Into My Heart If you want a super well written empath character, I’d highly recommend. It’s a Daredevil x Reader fic. Idk if you’re into that, but even if not, it’s worth a shot bc holy crap is her writing style so evocative! (it’s also just 450k words of really well written slow burn fluff!(with some smut in a few chapters) I’ve read through it —no exaggeration— 5 times.
I had very few issues getting what I wanted written down, but all the issues getting it in an order that made sense. So this chapter might flow weird.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jasper wasn’t quite sure why he agreed to this. Actually, that was a lie. It was because Alice had asked him, and he couldn’t deny her much of anything. So, here he was, pushing the boundaries of his ‘friendly classmates’ relationship with Aušra. Actively seeking her out before school. (Though, if he was being honest, he had already been pushing those boundaries by himself).
She was across the cafeteria on the ground, doing what she had been doing every morning that week: knitting.
Alice was buzzing with nervous anticipation as they walked over.
“It’s gonna be fine Alice, you already know that she likes talking to you.” he whispered, pushing her a tether of calm reassurance.
“I know…” she briefly pouted, “I just can’t help but be nervous!”
He chuckled lightheartedly.
“Alice, Jasper.” Aušra greeted when they got closer, then looked up at the pair.
How does she do that?
She paused her music, pulled out a headphone, then went back to knitting.
Jasper nodded at her in greeting. Alice was a bit thrown off, but nothing could dampen the bubbling excitement that she was spilling all over.
“How did you know it was us?!” she quietly squealed.
Aušra mulled it over then shrugged, “magic?”
Alice’s smile got wider, “you’re knitting again!… though, this looks different than the one you were doing yesterday.”
“That’s ‘cause it is. Finished that one during 4th period, closed it up and sewed in the ends at home. I just started this one this morning like,—” she paused to look at her progress, “ten minutes ago? Maybe?”
Alice nodded, awe apparent in her voice, “you knit fast.”
Aušra half-shrugged but nodded nonetheless. Her eyes flicked between the two of them. She had barely slowed down with their intrusion. Alice was silent, her focus a fine point as she analyzed Aušra’s technique.
Jasper stood there shifting his weight, waiting for Alice to continue, it was because of her that they were here. After realizing that Alice was too caught up in ‘studying’ to say anything, Jasper softly cleared his throat, “Alice? I believe you had a question for her?”
Alice hummed in response at the sound of her name, but didn’t break out her reverie until he lightly bumped her arm.
“Hmm, what? Oh! Yes, I did!” She smiled sheepishly.
Amusement sprinkled out of Aušra in small droplets.
“Would you want to sit with us before class? …I was wondering if we could continue our conversation about fiber-crafts and stuff? From last Thursday?” She gestured hopefully to a nearby empty lunch table.
Aušra paused her knitting. “I don’t really feel like sitting at a table right now —hence, the floor— but I’d like to continue our conversation… would you be willing to join me down here?”
“Umm, yeah I guess we could do that?” Alice looked up at Jasper for confirmation that it was okay with him. He nodded and began to take a seat.
Alice hesitated though, looking at the ground with a suspicious reluctance. Before Jasper could even react, Aušra took her hoodie from off her bag and handed it to Alice.
“You can sit on this so your clothes don’t get dirty; if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Alice took it gratefully, a small flush starting to bloom on her ears.
He didn’t participate much in the conversation, content to just observe. Aušra must’ve meditated that morning or the previous night; Jasper could feel the tranquillity and serenity that softly blanketed him. It wasn’t as overwhelmingly potent as the first time he had felt it, but it still somehow nearly drowned out all the other emotions from those around them. They were still there, of course. If he thought about it, he could still feel everyone around him, it was just… quieter; easier to tune out.
Jasper was totally checked out from the conversation that was happening right in front of him. He found himself idly sifting through Aušra’s emotions. Trying to see what was beyond the wall of tranquility.
He could feel a subtle pride blooming, enthusiasm, a general sense of contentment as well as some others, but underneath all that, he felt something off… there was something that felt out of place. Buried deep within her, almost as much in the background as her ‘emotional signature’. There was an aching sadness that had not been there before. Just the smallest piece of melancholy buried deep within her chest but it was there.
I wonder what—
All of a sudden, he felt acute attention being focused on him. Both Alice and Aušra were looking at him. Alice was blanketing him with her concern, though her face was neutral, a silent question in her eyes. (You okay?). He sent her a wave of reassurance.
“We boring you that much Jasper?” Aušra smirked.
“No, sorry, I just accidentally zoned out.”
“Ugh, relatable… sometimes I zone out so hard my body forgets to blink, or breathe for that matter.” She said it jokingly, but he could feel nothing but the truth from her.
He gave her a small smile which she returned with a warm one of her own, before turning back to Alice.
“So like I was saying, I’m totally down to teach you how to weave. You could come over to my place or I could go to yours—”
Alice’s increasing elation quickly ground to a halt, a massive wall of apprehension and anxiety springing up in its place. She froze, eyes quickly darting over to Jasper’s.
Aušra briefly paused, awareness filling her as she looked between the two of them, “Or… we could use the library after school?” she offered diplomatically.
Tension dropped from Alice’s body, though there was still some lingering uneasiness. “Umm, yeah the library after school would work for me…”
“Sounds good! When do you want to start?”
They agreed upon Friday afternoon. The bell to start the school day dismissed them soon after.
———•<•>•———
Alice begged Jasper to join her on Friday. He eventually acquiesced (not that it took all that much to change his mind), but with the understanding that he would not be sitting with them. He would simply be nearby doing his homework.
He hadn’t explicitly told Alice his reasoning for sitting separate from them, but he was sure that she could guess. He needed to keep his and Aušra’s ‘relationship’ in the currently established ‘safe zone’. He had already been unmeaningly pushing the boundaries into more dangerous territory. There was just something about her made it so easy to forget.
Forget the dangers and the potentially devastating consequences. The hundreds of ways that it could go wrong. The ways she could get hurt. The ways He could get hurt. That one small accident could spell disaster for his family and death for her. Forget that even if —and that’s a big ‘if’— nothing bad happened, that it would still end up with him getting hurt in the end; with him losing someone else. Because no matter how it ended, he would be left.
It would all come crashing back afterwards though. He’d be riding that weird high that he got around her, when all the potential consequences would slam back into his consciousness along with the sense of guilt that always accompanied it.
So, that’s what he was doing. Keeping his distance. He was sitting three tables down from them, doing his best to ignore them. To give them their privacy.
(Edward had nearly thrown a fit when he heard that they were going to be spending time with Aušra after school. Jasper still did not understand why his brother disliked her so much. His best guess was that Edward was upset that he couldn’t read her mind and/or maybe because Alice had gotten hurt when trying to see Aušra’s future. But even Alice herself wasn’t holding that against Aušra, so hell if he knew why Edward would be. Honestly his beef with Aušra made no sense. Especially because it was Edward who was committing the most ‘violations’.)
(Carlisle and Esme obviously knew the who, what, and where of their after-school activity and were fine with it. He could hazard a guess as to why he felt their (tempered) pride and fairly unrestrained delight when he and Alice had told them, but he didn’t particularly want to think about it.)
(Jasper was honestly most surprised that they hadn’t had any real pushback from Rosalie. She was often the most vocally opposed to any one of them forming any sort of relationship with humans (not that that happened often at all). So, it was almost off-putting that he had only felt a small amount of hesitance coming from her, rather than the downright refusal he had been expecting. What was more off-putting was the understanding that she had felt. (Emmett of course was encouraging, but also oddly jealous?).)
Jasper occasionally watched them (subtly). It was hard not to. Not with the enthusiastic, contagious excitement that was all but hemorrhaging out of Alice. Along with her giddy delight and honed focus as Aušra showed her how to set up.
Aušra’s emotions were milder. The subtle confusion and sting of rejection that she had repressed when he first took a seat far away from them, were gone now. Replaced with patient amusement at Alice’s thousands of questions. Along with softly radiating joy as she shared something that obviously meant a great deal to her (he had overheard her saying that she learned how to weave from her mother and grandmother when she was very young). And the light tickle of fondness that was growing for Alice.
But underneath it all, there was that same aching sadness from before. Was it larger now? He wasn’t sure. He’d have to pay more attention from now on.
Life continued like that for a while. Three times a week or so, they’d meet up in the library after school. Jasper always tagging along with Alice. And even though he tried to stay away —to stay safe; he gradually found himself sitting closer and closer until he was sitting right across from them. Then, he found himself adding to their conversation. At first just small comments or light quips here and there; but eventually he was fully contributing to the discussions.
He still doesn’t fully understand it. It was as if he was caught in her orbit; like a meteorite slowly spiraling closer and closer into her gravitational pull. The more time they spent together —be it in class or after school— something in him practically craved her presence, the friendship that she offered up so freely to him, and he felt nearly powerless to stop it. And that? That terrified him a little bit.
(He hated feeling powerless. He had to be in control —if of nothing else, then at least of himself. It was the only way to protect himself. Though, if he was being fully honest, he didn’t know if he wanted to fight it any longer. He enjoyed her company, she was funny, and considerate, and almost always had a good attitude (still the most ‘negative’ emotion he had felt had only been annoyance or frustration). And she just carried a certain wisdom with her. She had a knowledge of herself, of her inner emotional workings that was unusual in general, let alone in a teenager.)
At first, he had been a little hesitant to join in on their conversations. She had obviously been hurt by his purposeful distance in the beginning. And even though each time he sat closer he could feel the welcoming embrace of her delight, he was worried that she might be upset by it somehow. That she might see it as him intruding on her time with Alice, after he blatantly separated himself.
He, of course, hadn’t needed to worry, because the first time he commented, she practically drowned him with her gleeful attention and encouragement. And she continued to do so, practically anytime he shared his opinions. (It was odd how sometimes it felt like she was focusing certain emotions directly at him).
The day he had realized that they were friends was… interesting, to say the least.
He and Alice had been sitting at a stoplight, on the way home from their after school activity with Aušra, when the pieces just clicked together in his mind. He froze, hands clenching the wheel (though he was still mindful enough not to crush it).
Alice looked at him, her concern wrapping around him in soft ribbons, “you okay Jazz?”
He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out, his mind still trying to process this revelation. He could feel Alice’s worry rising as his silence stretched on, but he couldn’t get his mouth to cooperate with his brain.
There was a quick honk behind them that alerted him to the light turning green. He drove still somewhat in a daze.
“Hey, why don’t we pull over?”
He nodded almost mindlessly, pulling into the first parking lot he could find. He put the car in park.
Alice reached out and lightly touched his arm. He turned his head towards her but didn’t meet her gaze.
“Is it a flashback?” she asked softly, her anxiety was nearly choking them both.
“No” he managed to force out, shaking his head in an attempt to clear it.
Alice let out a sigh as her relief flooded the car, but her anxiety and worry still stuck to them like sap.
“Then what is it? You usually don’t project this much.” she said with an edge in her voice.
Was he projecting? Shit, he was. That fact alone seemed to mostly snap him out of his silence. He reigned back in his own emotions and tried to fill the car with resolute calm.
“Sorry ‘bout that…” his eyes caught hers for a moment before he pulled them away. He didn’t attempt a smile, she’d know it was fake anyway.
Alice offered him her hand, which he immediately took, lacing their fingers together, squeezing gently.
He took a deep breath and focused on the encouragement and unwavering love and support Alice was pushing at him.
“Sorry, it’s just…we’re friends,” was all he managed to say.
“Uh-huh…” she said, confusion leaking profusely from her.
He opened his mouth to elaborate, but realization struck her and she blurted out, “Oh! You mean with Aušra!” she let out a poorly contained giggle.
Jasper turned to look at her, mildly affronted. She gave him a sheepish look but he could still feel the amusement she was trying to hide.
“This ain’t funny,” he said softly, hating how much panic came through (which was not very much at all, but he had hoped to keep all of his internal feelings, internal).
“Sorry…” Alice responded. “I’m just a little surprised that you’re just now realizing it. We’ve been hanging out with her outside of class, three times a week for nearly a month. That’s not really the behavior of casual acquaintances.
“And I giggled mostly out of relief. I got myself all worked up about what could be wrong, that when you finally said something, it seemed like such a small problem compared to what I was imagining…” she gave him a small, slightly apologetic smile.
“This isn’t ‘ something small’ Alice, it’s serious.”
Her face softened, head tilting as she earnestly asked, “I mean, why does it have to be?”
He looked her incredulously.
“I mean, yes, it is something that should be navigated with care and thoughtfulness, but why does it have to be a big deal?”
He gave her a look. She knew why it was a big deal, they had had this conversation multiple times in the past (not just about Aušra).
“I know, I know…” she sighed, it was a sad, somewhat defeated noise, “it’s just…she’s nice, and you like each other,—” he looked up at her. Jasper wasn’t sure what his expression was, but Alice took in and then continued, “Jasper, I don’t have to have your gift to see how much you enjoy each others’ company… she’s never asked any probing questions about us, she accepts all of our weird excuses without question, she’s kind, I jus—” she cut herself off, brows furrowing as she decided what to say next. She locked eyes with him —gaze piercing into his soul— as she essentially bludgeoned him with her earnest, heartfelt belief, “you’re allowed to be happy ya know? You deserve it.”
He opened his mouth to respond but she beat him to it, “don’t try and fight me on this Jazzy. You know you won’t win.” she said with fond exasperation.
“And when things go bad?” he sighed.
“Who says they have to?” she said, soft and sweet.
He gave her a skeptical look.
She squeezed his hand, rolling her eyes but there was no malice in the action, “not everything is worst-case scenario, ya know? The most likely thing to happen is that you have a few years of friendship before we move away or she goes off to college.”
He sighed wearily. She was right, of course. “Ya know I don’t do well with people leaving…”
“Yes, I know. I just don’t want you to pass up on a chance for a bit of happiness just because you’re scared. It’s like Aušra said, ‘The point isn’t about making lasting connections, it’s about making lasting memories. Something happy for you to hold on to, when life beats you down.’”
He furrowed his brow, “when did she say that?” How does she have so much wisdom?
Surprise pulsed from Alice, “you don— oh wow, you really weren’t listening in…”
“I said I was gonna try to ignore y’all.”
“I know… Wow, that is a crazy coincidence then, if you didn’t hear it…”
Jasper looked at Alice, urging her to elaborate.
“Sorry, she said that like a day before you started sitting closer. I just sorta assumed that you had heard it and… you know…” she trailed off.
He nodded. They sat in silence for a while before he let out a long sigh, “I’ll think about it.”
She smiled —bright and warm— squeezing his hand, “that’s all I ask.”
And he had thought about it. A lot. Thankfully, Edward was really only able to read surface level thoughts —being able to delve deeper only with effort (which he didn’t typically do around the family to give them at least a modicum of privacy)— and Jasper had plenty of experience of keeping his important, personal thoughts away from Edward’s prying mind. (He knew Edward technically didn’t pry anymore than Jasper did with his gift, but that didn’t make it any less annoying).
He had thought about it and came to a conclusion: they were already friends, there was nothing he could do about it at this point that wouldn’t hurt them both. So, even though he still felt that it would likely only end in hurt (for at least him), he was going to make the most of it while he could.
(And who knows, maybe it won’t go badly?)
He started by asking if he could join her when she studied in the library after school (on the two days when she wasn’t weaving with Alice).
“You are free to join me anytime Jasper. I mean it.” she said with a soft smile. He marveled at how such a gentle smile could contain so much warmth and friendliness in it.
Her smiles were almost always like that. (The real ones that is, not the kind that were etched on her face at school for politeness’s sake). They were becoming more and more rare these days though (and they hadn’t been all that common to begin with).
———•<•>•———
Jasper was worried about Aušra. He had been for weeks actually, and not because of her lack of genuine smiles. Well, that was a factor, but it was mostly her emotions that had him worried.
That hollow, aching sadness from before had only grown inside her. It had been subtle at first —something he had had to actively search for— but, as November ticked on, he felt it slowly grow larger and larger, deeper and deeper. Until there was a massive chasm of melancholy inside her. A chasm made up of tormentful loss, expansive sorrow, crushing abandonment, and mournful loneliness, but even with all that, it still ended up feeling empty somehow. Devoid of emotion.
Her normal emotions took a big hit because of it. She still felt joy, amusement, and general happiness, but they never lasted long. They’d pop up as you’d expect, but be gone far faster than they had before. She’d feel joy and companionship and hope when interacting with friends —seemingly being able to shunt the hurt to the background— but only a few minutes after it ended they’d be gone; swallowed up by the lump of melancholy in her soul. Like a black hole, its mass was so great that it consumed anything and everything near it.
One of the worst parts was whenever Jasper would ask her if she was doing okay —which he found himself doing rather frequently— she’d always respond that she was, (‘yeah, I’m fine’, ‘doing a-okay’, ‘nothing outta the ordinary,’ ‘I’m doing alright’, ‘same ol’, same ol’’…etc), and it wouldn’t be a lie.
(Was this normal for her? Does she think that this is how she’s supposed to feel?)
But despite all that was happening, she acted almost unchanged. If not for his gift (or the particular attention he was paying her) he probably wouldn’t have noticed anything off. It affected her outwardly, sure, but not as much as he thought it would. She seemed more tired but she was still doing almost everything she was doing before. In fact, she seemed to be doing more than before (which was equally worrying).
He’d try to give her as much peace and comfort as he could without it being obvious —which meant not very much at all— whenever they were together. (There was always a brief moment of resistance before they would start to sink in, but they always did.) It helped, but seemingly not as much as his mere presence around her did.
He had been working up the courage to ask to spend time with her outside of the school building. He shouldn’t be nervous to ask her, but he was, for multiple reasons. Aušra had invited him and Alice over for a movie or game night a few times in November. They had declined each time and now she hadn’t asked again in the past few weeks. He was worried he’d missed his chance. That she figured out that she didn’t want to hang out with them outside of school anymore. And even though he still hadn’t ever felt thirsty around her either, so he shouldn’t feel nervous about somehow accidentally loosing control, that didn’t stop him. He was also worried that their dynamic would change outside of school and not be as good somehow —that they needed the buffer of being in school in order to be friends.
(God. He and Aušra were friends. He had a friend. And even though the thought sent a sharp chill of fear through his heart, the warm, bright sense of hope that settled in his chest from the same thought, far out-burned the fear —on most days at least.)
And then the perfect opportunity fell right into his lap. A group project in Biology.(Maybe life was on his side now).
Notes:
A/N: For clarification, it’s not that Jasper has never felt seasonal depression or masking before, he’s just never had a reason to pay so much attention to it.
Also, I realize that Jasper’s probably more well-adjusted emotionally in the books, but in those he had been in a relationship with Alice for 50 years. I don’t believe in “tHe LOvE oF thE RIgHt pErSOn wiLL mAGicAlLY FiX YOu aNd HeAL yOu fRoM yOUr tRAuMa!” Or the “yOu NeEd tO bE iN a ReLAtiOnShiP tO gEt BeTteR” BULLSHIT, but I can say (from personal experience) that being in a long-term relationship with a supportive, loving partner certainly can help with the insecurities and inadequacies that certain kinds of abuse can cause.
Chapter 13: Strange, the Passage of Time (pt. 2)
Summary:
Summary: As time passes Jasper and Aušra get closer. And Aušra finally gets a few answers.
Notes:
A/N: This takes place roughly in the same time period of the last chapter. (Hence posting together) Each section doesn’t necessarily happen exactly linearly (the starts of each chunk happen chronologically, but some chunks span several weeks time, but then it might jump back a bit with the next chunk).
Chapter Text
It was Wednesday morning. The entire week Aušra had woken up before her alarm —much to her chagrin. So, unable to fall back asleep, she just got up, went on a long run, then got ready to be at school way too early.
A small bonus to being so early was that she was able to knit in peace with so few students around.
With winter approaching and the ‘Holiday Blues’ —as she liked to call it— about to rear its nasty head along with it; Aušra had fallen back into her old habit of knitting. It made her feel a bit like an old lady (which, she supposed she was), but there was nothing else that held the same sort of comforting energy for her (at least nothing that she could do anywhere like she could knitting). Maybe it was because it was something she’d done since she was a child. Knitting was quiet, kept her hands busy, and gave her some sense of accomplishment —something she could visually see herself making progress on.
She was currently sitting on the ground, against the far wall of the cafeteria, casting on for an adult sized hat that she’d definitely be done with it by the end of the school day (if not before).
Once the stitches were cast on, she just let hundreds of years of muscle memory take over. Mumbling along under her breath to the music softy playing from her earbuds.
She was pulled out her head when her sensing runes went off, alerting her to two people walking up. She reached out and ‘read’ them, a little confused, but pleasantly surprised at who it was.
“Alice, Jasper.” she greeted, then looked up at them.
She pulled out a headphone, paused her music, and went back to knitting; still looking at the vampires.
Alice was seemingly mesmerized by Aušra’s knitting technique, it took Jasper gently bumping her to break the ‘trance’.
Her and Alice ended up continuing their conversation about fiber crafts. Alice was particularly interested in Aušra’s knowledge on weaving. Jasper seemed completely checked out for most of their conversation.
When Alice asked, Aušra agreed to teach her how to weave. They would start with tablet weaving because it was simpler (and more portable).
It hadn’t been expected, but after she thought about it, she understood why Alice was so reluctant to do it at either of their houses. They didn’t know each other very well and either location could lead to an unnecessary amount of ‘danger’ for Aušra. (Or the danger of discovery for them.) But since she was absolutely not hauling her nice inkle looms to and from school, she had to come up with an alternative that wasn’t using a backstrap loom (she did not want to have to deal with variable tensioning with a vampire who could very easily snap all the threads on accident). Since they had agreed on meeting Friday afternoon, that gave Aušra plenty of time to throw something together out of her scrap wood that would work for a warp weighted loom.
On Friday, she was met with the (not unpleasant) surprise of finding Jasper in the library with Alice. Though, when she walked over to them, he picked up his stuff and moved three tables down. She did her best to suppress the unwarranted feelings of rejection at his actions. He was setting a boundary and she was going to accept it (even if it hurt). Fortunately, Alice kept her mind so busy with all of her questions, that Aušra didn’t really have the time to acknowledge the harsh words her anxiety was trying to stab into her. At least, not until much later. But even then, they were easier to quiet because Jasper had talked with them after they were done. (And he was normal in Biology as well).
———•<•>•———
The weeks passed by mostly in monotony. Wake up, school, possibly weave with Alice, homework, actual work, sleep, repeat. She didn’t mind it, it was comforting, in its way. Like listening to a familiar song or rewatching a favorite tv show, it was nice knowing generally what to expect.
The only way Aušra was really able to tell that time was passing, was the steadily growing pile of knit hats, scarves, and mittens that was quickly accumulating on her couch. Along with the steadily growing weight of depression that was taking up unwanted residency in her chest.
It was no surprise what was happening. These feelings were (unfortunately) very well known to her. Late fall and winter were always hard on her. The holiday season was just a constant reminder that she had no family. In a time when society emphasized being with family; she was all alone. (She had Aurelia and Misha of course, they were family to her, but North Eastern Canada and Siberia were not particularly easy to visit. (Not to mention how hard Misha was to get ahold of at the best of times.)) It wasn’t just the holidays though. She also had multiple trauma anniversaries in that same timeframe. Yay… Also, the lack of sun certainly did no favors to her depression.
She was doing her best to combat it. She started running outside daily, as well as practicing with new types of martial arts (the current fixation was the meteor hammer), she hung a swing from a tree in her backyard (it also had a a horizontal bar six feet above the swing’s seat —making a pseudo-trapeze swing— so she could also hang upside down if she wanted to, and want to, she did), she was realigning and meditating almost twice a week. Weekly, she’d go to the public library and print out loads of research papers (condensing them to four pages per paper (two on the front, two on the back)) on anything and everything that caught her attention —learning and challenging her brain was a good way to keep the ‘demons at bay’. She planned movie or game nights on the weekends. Leah always came, Angela missed one because she was babysitting, and Joel had come twice. She always invited Alice and Jasper even though she knew they likely wouldn’t come. She just wanted them to know that they were wanted. That they were not forgotten.
(She knew what it was like to be forgotten…)
She buried herself with work —things to do— not so much to be overwhelming, but keeping herself thoroughly busy. Aušra knew it wasn’t necessarily healthy, but as long as she kept moving she wouldn’t succumb to the all-consuming void in her chest.
She just needed to survive to the end of January without drowning. Then she’d start feeling better.
———•<•>•———
It had been around two weeks since Alice and Aušra had started their after-school weaving ‘classes’, when Alice abruptly asked.
“Can I ask you a question?”
Aušra stopped, the break in the quiet disarming her briefly.
(It’s not that them talking was unusual, it was quite the opposite, in fact. Now that Alice had gotten the hang of tablet weaving, they usually quietly chatted away the entire time. It was Alice who had set the precedence for quiet that day, being less chatty than usual. So, Aušra had followed suit and kept mostly quiet.)
“…yeah?” she replied.
Alice fidgeted nervously.
As the silence dragged on Aušra became more unsettled. Alice was usually very confident and self-assured in their conversations, and typically had no issues asking questions. So, for her to be so nervous was a bit concerning. The question had to be big.
Their conversations typically didn’t require the level of openness that hers and Jasper’s (surprisingly) often did. She wasn’t sure how emotionally vulnerable she could be with Alice. (If that was what was needed).
(It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Alice, she just didn’t usually allow people in like that. She wasn’t even sure why her mind allowed her to be as open with Jasper as it did (which was still nowhere near being totally emotionally vulnerable). Maybe it had something to do with her locked memories, or maybe it had to do with the fact that she knew he needed it, or maybe it was because she felt in him another broke n, kindred spirit, or perhaps some combination of the three or something else entirely.)
(The most she could probably offer Alice was some ‘fake’ openness. Aušra had a somewhat bad (read: probably unhealthy) tendency of ‘faking’ the level of openness/ vulnerability that she was giving to people… Fake wasn’t really the right word, because she wasn’t lying about anything that she shared. She just wasn’t being as open as people assumed she was.)
(The thing is, Aušra could talk about some very personal topics quite easily. Topics that many others had difficulty discussing (ie mental health struggles, certain personal inadequacies, her sexuality —or lack there of— etc…). So, when she shared information about these things, people believed that since it was a difficult topic for them, then it must be for her as well, and then made assumptions as to the depths of emotional vulnerability she was being. And she just… didn’t correct their assumptions? Which, by itself isn’t necessarily unhealthy, but she did occasionally use it to avoid actually ‘exposing’ herself to people when they opened up to her. ‘Use’ was also something of a misnomer. She didn’t think about doing it, it just sort of… happened. Without conscious thought or effort. People would just open up to her —unprompted— and she would then feel the need to ‘reciprocate’ with something personal about herself. She didn’t want them to feel uncomfortable that they were putting trust in her by revealing something personal, just for her to not ‘return the favor’ (even though she didn’t ask for the ‘favor’ in the first place). So, she’d ‘open up’ to them. She wanted them to feel secure in the trust they were putting in her. Trust goes both ways and she wanted people to feel like they could trust her —because they could— but unfortunately, her own issues made it very hard for her to put that trust in others. So, she’d end up ‘faking’ it. (This whole ‘phenomenon’ was only a recent discovery to her, and she wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it).
Alice stopped and completely turned her body to face Aušra.
“How do you make friends so easily?” she asked, her voice sounding more sure than she looked.
Aušra let out a surprised huff of laughter, her nervousness dissipating.
Is that all? That’s what had her so worried?
Okay, she could do this conversation with Alice.
“I don’t.” she replied somewhat ruefully.
“What do you mean?”
Aušra put down her shuttle and let out a small sigh, turning towards the vampi re next to her. Stopping before she was fully facing Alice, she pulled her left leg from the crisscross she was in —raising the knee to her chest— her right leg still crossed underneath her. She rested her hands on the front of her raised knee, lacing her fingers together.
“I don’t make friends easily,” she replied, her head turned more toward Alice but her gaze was on the desk.
“But… I’ve seen you —you’re so friendly!”
Aušra chuckled, “well, being ‘friendly’ and making friends aren’t necessary the same thing. I mean, they correlate, but I don’t have to be friends with someone to be friendly to them.”
Alice nodded thoughtfully, “I guess that’s true… but, since you’re so friendly, shouldn’t that make it easy to make friends?”
Aušra huffed humorlessly and shrugged, “I guess…? But It’s not easy for me to make friends. Not necessarily the social interaction part of making friends, but the allowing myself to have connections with people part? That’s something I have to ‘force’ myself to do.”
Alice tilted her head, “why do you have to force yourself?” Her voice was soft with a touch of concerned curiosity.
Aušra took a deep breath, then sighed. “I have… uh, how to phrase this… intima— no, that’s not right. Attachme— that’s not— well, that’s also true, but not what I’m looking for…” she paused, “sorry, give me a sec.”
Really shoulda thought about this before I started talking…
“…Abandonment issues! That’s what I was lookin’ for… I have to force myself to allow connections to happen, to let people in —”
Alice glanced away for a moment, looking behind Aušra, (presumably at Jasper).
“—'Cause you can’t be abandoned, betrayed, or hurt, if you don’t let people in. People can’t leave you if they were never there in the first place, ya know?” Aušra continued facetiously. Throwing up finger guns and a half smirk to try and lighten the mood of what she just said.
Alice looked back at (presumably) Jasper again with a sad, knowing look, “yeah…” she said somberly. She then snapped out of her sadness, switching back to something a bit more peppy (though still not as peppy as she usually was). “How do you ‘force yourself’?”
“Oh, uh, it is not easy, I can tell you that. It’s a constant battle. I’m basically fighting every instinct of self-preservation I have. Normally, I’m very much an ‘all-or-nothing’ person. I can’t really do things by halves. So, how it usually is, is you’re either a peripheral friend or you’re in the ‘best friends’ group, which is very rare.
“So, when I get attached to people, I get Attached. And that’s very emotionally taxing for me —for so many reasons that we won’t get into now, because we do not have that kind of time— but it basically boils down to ‘trust issues’ —I know, I know, I’m a piece of work. Anyways, the thought process I’m constantly fighting is, ‘why go through the emotionally taxing experience of allowing myself to become close with someone, if I know they’re not going to be permanent. That they’re going to eventually leave? Why waste the energy to just end up being hurt? Go through all that effort to just have to do it again, when they leave. Because they will leave, everyone has…”
Oof… Did not mean to reveal that much, but oh well…
“But, my perspective changed, and I’m trying to change my mindset to reflect that, but it’s difficult —Sorry, I’m rambling, did I answer your original question?”
“Umm, yes and no? But that doesn’t matter too much. I want to know what changed your perspective?” Alice asked.
“Oh, okay. Well, I was talking to my therapist about these issues and they were saying something about the human need for meaningful connections and that basically nothing in life is permanent but that shouldn’t stop us from seeking out those experiences. And the thought just sorta hit me, ‘The point isn’t about making lasting connections, it’s about making lasting memories. Something happy for you to hold on to when life beats you down.’
“Maybe someone will end up hurting me, but that doesn’t mean that the whole relationship was ‘a waste’. As long as I learn and grow from it and use those experiences to become a better person, then it won’t have been for naught.
“It may take me a while, but I can heal, move on, and eventually I’ll be able to look back on our memories with fondness.”
When Aušra looked back at Alice, she was staring in reverent wonder, “…that’s, like, really profound.”
Aušra ducked her head to avoid the penetrating gaze, “oh, uh… thanks, it’s taken me a long time to get to this point. And it’s still a struggle to actually implement.”
‘Long time’ was an understatement. This was only a revelation she only had in the past twenty-five years.
She looked up and gave Alice a small smile. Then, before Alice could ask anymore potentially probing questions, she directed their attention back to their weaving.
———•<•>•———
Alice and Aušra’s discussion had happened on Friday. That Monday, Jasper sat a whole table closer to them, and each subsequent time they met in the library he would sit a chair closer to them. Every time he sat closer, Aušra would focus her emotions at him, wanting him to know he was welcomed.
Eventually, he was sitting at the same table as them —across from Aušra— doing his homework. He seemed hesitant to speak at first (though she could not figure why —she had never dissuaded him from talking and she couldn’t imagine Alice had either), only giving small comments to their discussions. So, she made sure to direct her encouragement and attention to him every time he spoke up. Eventually he was fully engaged in their conversations.
———•<•>•———
It had been nearly a month since meeting the Cullens when Aurelia finally got back to her. (Though they did talk on the regular).
It was Saturday, Aušra was in her shop working on a commissioned piece for Paul, when she got the text.
Aurelia:
Got the info you wanted,
you able to talk rn?
Me:
Yeah give me a sec
She turned off her air compressor and dust collector as she headed inside.
Once she was securely within her silencing tapestries in the basement, she called.
Aurelia answered after the third ring, «hey.»
«Hey, you have the information on the Natural Governance thing right? Not some other information I asked for and forgot about?»
Aurelia chuckled softly, «yeah it’s about the Natural Governance thing.»
«Oh good. What’s the consensus?» she hadn’t been thinking about it much because she’d end up stressing herself out when she did.
«Okay. Basically, it boils down to this: you would’ve had been actively living there for at least six months before they moved in, or have declared your territory with the Volturi and/or The Council before they moved in, in order to take your Natural Governance over them —excluding a few extenuating circumstances.»
«Okay. Okay, that’s a relief…» Aušra said, letting out the breath she had be inadvertently holding. «What are the ‘extenuating circumstances’?»
«Circumstance 1) They’re out of control, being irresponsible and doing something that could reveal them and/or yourself to the human population, or that would open you or them up to human scrutiny. You’d be able to take a type of temporary Natural Governance that would allow you to step in and rectify the behavior. Though in more extreme situations, you could petition to have it permanently.
«Circumstance 2) —this one would also be temporary, or at least the not ‘traditional’ use of it— if other Magical Beings were to be in your territory and they started having issues with each other, you would have the authority to step in and officially meditate resolutions. As well as helping enforce the terms of any treaties that might be put in place.
«Lastly, Circumstance 3) —This one’s pretty straightforward— they simply ask you to take it.»
«Is that all of them? I figured there’d be more.» Aušra commented when Aurelia didn’t continue.
«I mean, yeah, basically. Those are the only situations that I believe could possibly become relevant in your case. The others I found are highly specific, and dealt more with weird territory rules and disputes.»
«Okay. Question, if they asked —which I don’t know why they would— would I have to take it? Or would it still be optional?»
«If they asked, it would be expected of you to take it.»
Aušra pursed her lips, frowning, «if they asked, would I still have to do the inquiry thingy with the Volturi?»
«Unfortunately, yes… I mean it’s not hard, they just need your name and proof of territory. You did register your territory with The Council, right?»
Aušra rolled her eyes, «yes, I did. I’m not stupid, Mom.»
«Could’ve fooled me.» she quipped back, «and be careful calling me ‘mom’, I don’t think Misha would appreciate his title being stolen very much.»
«I mean, I registered with The Council as Aušra. Not as… you know… for obvious reasons…»
«Yeah, I assumed.»
Aušra thanked her profusely. They chatted for a bit longer before saying their goodbyes.
———•<•>•———
Jessica was getting better about not being an ‘insensitive ass’ (Becca’s words) during lunch. Aušra appreciated the effort, even if Jessica wasn’t doing it completely sincerely. (She knew Jessica was mostly doing it because she was hoping to get close to Edward through Aušra).
It was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving when Jessica asked, “so what are some, like, Lithuanian Thanksgiving traditions that you do?”
Aušra chuckled good-naturedly, “ha, that’s a good one, Jessica.”
Jessica looked back at her confused, “sorry, why’s that funny?”
Oh. Oh, no… Aušra had seriously misread the situation..
Aušra looked around the table, most were looking at her with the same expression as Jessica: perplexed. Although, Becca was staring at the table, pinching the bridge of her nose. While Angela just looked uncomfortable.
“Oh, uh… so Thanksgiving is an American holiday. It’s not celebrated it in Lithuania…” Aušra replied awkwardly.
Jessica laughed weakly, “oh, heh heh, I guess that makes sense… sorry.”
“It’s fine, I know it’s not something that most people think about.”
———•<•>•———
Aušra didn’t have any plans for Thanksgiving. She didn’t tell anyone this, don’t want their pity (or to intrude on anyone else’s family plans).
Really, her only “plans” for Thanksgiving were for Friday; pick up 2 discount turkeys, cook them and then can the meat on Saturday.
So, imagine her surprise when she got a phone call around noon.
“…Hello?”
“Hey Aušra,” said a warm familiar voice.
“Oh, hey Charlie, what’s up?”
“Oh nothing much, kiddo. Just calling to see if you were doing anything today.”
Aušra paused. She didn’t want to tell Charlie what she was doing (aka nothing), she didn’t want him to feel obligated to spend the day with her. Because she knew he would.
“Oh you know, just taking it easy, enjoying the time off.”
“You have plans for dinner?”
“Yeah…?” (She technically did, she had planned what she was going to eat for dinner…)
“Oh…” he sounded almost disappointed “with who? If ya’ don’t mind me asking.”
Aušra sighed, “…myself.”
“Oh! Well in that case, would you be interested in putting them off to another day? The Clearwater’s and Black’s are doing a Thanksgiving thing and wanted to know if you wanted to come.”
“I don’t want to intrude…”
“You wouldn’t be. They specifically asked for me to invite you.”
“Oh…” she said to herself, softly. “Really?”Ugh, she sounded pathetic.
Charlie chuckled, “of course! Said to tell you that ‘they insisted you come’ unless you already had other plans of course. Billy even said that he couldn’t not invite quote: ‘the best fishing partner he’s had in years’!”
Aušra smiled, rolling her eyes, “I’ve only been fishing with y’all twice.”
“I know! And that was in front of Harry and Jacob too —I heard them grumbling about in the back of the call, along with Leah laughing.”
Aušra snickered. “Okay, alright, you’ve won me over, what time’s it at?”
She could hear Charlie’s grin as he said, “it starts at 6. You want me to pick you up?”
“Nah, I can drive.”
“You know the way?” h e confirmed.
“Yep!” She had been there twice before, to hang out with Leah.
“Okay sounds good kiddo, guess I’ll see you there.”
Aušra typically hated when people called her kid, sweetheart, dear, etc if they knew her name, but, for some unknown reason, she didn’t completely hate Charlie calling her ‘kiddo’. Don’t get her wrong, she didn’t like it, but it didn’t set off the same wave of contempt when he said it…
They said their goodbyes, and hung up.
She quickly texted Leah asking if they would be available to hang out if she came over a bit early or if Leah’d be helping with dinner. Leah texted back that pretty much everything was ready and just needed to be put in the oven or warmed up, so she’d be available.
———•<•>•———
Aušra arrived at the Clearwater’s around 5:20. It was Leah who opened the door.
“Hey there colonizer,” she snarked as they hugged.
Aušra pulled back in (fake) offense, scoffing multiple times dramatically. Leah looked back at her, deadpan, then quirked an eyebrow. It was clear she was fighting a smile. Aušra dropped the act and smiled.
“Actually, that’s fair, ya got me.”
After proper hellos to everyone (which included a hug for Mrs Clearwater and Leah tugging on Seth’s braid), Aušra put a jar of her homemade cranberry jam (she would not come empty handed) in their fridge. Then, she and Leah retreated up to her bedroom.
They laid on Leah’s bed talking for about thirty minutes before they were interrupted by a knock on the door.
“What,” Leah answered, annoyed.
“Rude. Guess I’ll just leave then,” the unknown person snarked back.
Leah gasped, a smile breaking across her face. She shot off of her bed, bounding to the door in seconds. She threw it open to reveal Sam Uley who was sporting a shit eating grin. Leah suppressed a squeal when he picked her up, wrapping her arms around his head to smother him in a hug.
“I thought you weren’t going to be able to make it to dinner!” she said excitedly.
“‘M not, gotta leave by 6:10 to make it to work. Just wanted to stop by and surprise you first,” he said, pulling his head away from her body. Aušra could hear the smile in his voice.
Leah made a ‘aww’ whimpering noise in the back of her throat, took his face in her hands, leaned down, and kissed him.
Sam awkwardly walk-waddled his way into the bedroom, flopping them both down onto the bed. Leah was laughing as Aušra yelped, rolling herself out of danger zone of the falling teenagers.
Sam picked up his head from Leah’s chest (his face hadn’t been in her boobs, but also hadn’t not been in her boobs) at the noise, his face turning red when he realized they had an audience.
“…uhhhh hi,” he stammered out, quickly rolling off of Leah.
Aušra snorted, “hey. It’s Sam right?”
“Uh, yeah?…” he responded.
“Wow, you sound sooo intelligent.” Leah said cheekily.
“Hey! I had the highest grades in all my classes, thank you very much!” he responded indignantly.
“Wow… didn’t know I was dating such a nerd. Maybe I need to raise my standards.” Leah said sweetly, still clearly egging him on.
Aušra giggled, “y’all need to get a room.”
“Excuse me? We have a room.” Leah said gesturing around them. She scooted into Sam’s side, putting her head on his shoulder.
“Fine, how ‘bout a room I’m not in?” Aušra teased.
“I can always kick you out and make you fend for yourself among the adults and babies.” she replied archly.
Sam wrapped his arm around her back, hand resting on her hip.
Aušra threw her hands up in defeat, “no, nope, you win. I surrender. Just don’t mind me, I’ll be sitting over here gagging from y’all’s sweetness.” she smiled.
“Oh, shut up,” Leah rolled her eyes and lightly nudged Aušra’s leg with her foot.
“Oh my name’s Aušra, in case you forgot” she said to Sam.
“Ah right, Aušra.” he said, still recovering from his mild embarrassment.
They started chatting. Sam was a bit awkward and stiff at first, but once he became more comfortable, the conversation flowed really well.
Aušra liked him. He was surprisingly good at small talk for an 18 year old. He was very good about asking leading questions and giving leading answers in return. He also just seemed like a really sweet guy in general. She could see why Leah loved him so much.
Leah didn’t talk about him much (she talked of him, but not about him), so Aušra was gathering as much information as she could. She learned that he had graduated last year and was currently working two jobs to save up money to go to community college in the fall with Leah. (Aušra thought that was adorable and told them as much. Sam started turning red again, Leah just rolled her eyes.)
Their talking was eventually interrupted by Sam’s alarm going off, announcing he needed to get going. Leah grunted in annoyance at the sound.
“Do you have to go to work?” she asked forcing a pout.
Sam chuckled. He started shifting himself to get off the bed, but Leah was still holding onto him which hindered his progress.
“I know… I’d much rather be staying here with y’all, but it’s time-and-a-half holiday pay and I can’t pass that up.”
Leah huffed and let go, “I know… I just wish you didn’t have to.”
He sighed, “…you and me both.”
They walked to the door, Sam stopping just before the threshold. He turned around and held Leah by the waist. Leah shot a look over her shoulder at Aušra —who was sitting on the bed facing more away from the door than she had been before they got up, looking down at her phone— she then wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a proper goodbye kiss.
“I’ll come over tomorrow morning before work, to make it up to you.”
Leah walked with him to the front door saying goodbye again there (with a much shorter kiss now that her parents were a possible audience) Then returned back to her room with Aušra.
“He’s cute.” she said in that tone.
“Shut up,” Leah responded, flopping herself back down onto the bed.
“Y’all’re cute together.”
Leah turned to face Aušra trying to suppress a blush, “‘y’all’re’? The hell kinda bastard word is that?”
“Don’t make fun of me because you’re jealous.”
“Jealous? Of what? Your inability to speak proper English?”
“Well firstly, English isn’t my first language, so, that’s very xenophobic of you,” she teased, “and secondly you’re jealous because I don’t have any qualms about using ‘bastard words’ to say things more efficiently. And saying like, ‘you all are cute together’,” she said it slowly, purposefully over-enunciating each word, “bleh, that just feels gross saying, nevermind that it takes like twenty more seconds to say. I guess I don’t like wasting time —unlike you, apparently…” she said fake primly.
Leah snorted, “yeah, sure.” She narrowed her eyes, trying to suppress a smile, she said gruffly, “you better not tell anyone about what you just saw, or I’ll kick your ass.”
Aušra knew she wouldn’t (couldn’t), but decided to tease her further, “tell people what? About the absolutely, sickeningly sweet scene that played out in front of my very eyes? The thing that will have scarred me for life? How soft and madly in love you are with your long-term boyfriend? Yeah, no. Trust me, your secret is safe. I’m not looking into reliving that disgustingly adorable love-fest anytime soon.”
Leah stuck out her tongue and flipped Aušra off. Who just laughed in response.
———•<•>•———
Randomly —during the first week of December— Aušra got a text from an unknown number.
Unknown:
Oops…forgot to tell you,
got a new number.
B done soon. Contact u when
we can talk. –BB ;P
BB?… That was Misha. Of course he forgot to tell her. ‘Be done soon’, that didn’t mean much, ‘soon’ to Misha could be anywhere from a day to a few months. Well, at least she didn’t have to write a letter anymore…
———•<•>•———
God, Aušra was so busy. Overwhelmingly busy. It wasn’t even funny how packed her schedule was. Or how packed it would remain until winter break.
Paul had contacted her two weeks prior with a rush commission for her. She hadn’t planned on taking it on, but when she heard the amount that she’d be getting paid for it, she found it much harder to refuse. It would be enough to cover over two months of living costs easy.
It was a cabinet job that his company had taken on, and then halfway through, the (admittedly very wealthy) client wanted one of the specialty pieces changed to something much more intricate then his team would be able to finish in the scheduled deadline (especially with all the other jobs that people wanted done before Christmas). When he told them this, they offered to pay a (frankly ridiculous) additional cost if he’d do it. So, he said he’d ask a trusted private contractor —Aušra— if they could do it.
And she took it, because that was a lot of money and she would be able to get it done in the timeline. (It was also a technically interesting project that would be stimulating mentally, and thus very satisfying to complete).
She figured it would take her 80 hours to complete, so with working three hours on school nights and twelve hours on Saturday and Sunday she’d be able to get it done in two weeks. Which would give Paul and his team plenty of time for pick-up and finishing.
Unfortunately, the material that was sent to Paul was incorrect. So, then she had to wait for the correct sheet material to come in, and be cut by his CNC. Luckily all the hardwood came in correct so they were able to process that into the right types of moldings, but it still threw the whole operation behind schedule by nearly a week.
Paul had offered to let her ‘off the hook’, but Aušra was nothing if not a woman of her word. And since it was still doable in the timeframe, she stayed committed.
But of course, school ramped up around the same time, so she had more homework to do (she really needed to just bite the bullet make a new quill. But that would have to wait until this was all over, she didn’t have the time now). So, her days were packed. She could technically ‘lessen the load’ by postponing weaving with Alice until after the craziness ended, but she wasn’t about to cancel the one thing she looked forward to (and it would only give her an extra hour, so it wasn’t worth it).
Once the material arrived her schedule turned into;
Weekdays:
04:40 –Wake up before alarms, too damn early.
05:00-05:50 –Go for a run.
06:00-06:30 –Get ready.
06:40 –Arrive at school, sit in the parking lot until they open the doors, then find a corner and knit.
07:25-14:15 –School.
14:30-15:30 –Weaving with Alice on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
15:55-19:30 –Do homework and microwave dinner.
19:40-23:00 –Work on the commission.
23:00-23:20 –Make sure shop is clean for tomorrow.
23:25-23:50 –Wash and decompress in the shower.
00:00 –Finally be allowed to collapse in to unconsciousness.
Repeat.
Weekends:
05:15 –Wake up (yay sleeping in!).
05:30-06:30 –Practice the meteor hammer.
06:40-07:20 –Shower and get ready for the day.
07:20-08:00 –Go on the fastest grocery trip possible.
08:10-14:30 –Work.
14:40-15:20 –mandatory food time + a little break.
15:30-21:30 –Work even more.
21:30-21:50 –Clean up shop.
22:00-23:00 –Shower and actual decompression time!
22:45 –Pass out during decompression time.
Repeat.
Other than the exhaustion (physical, mental, and emotional) she was doing pretty good. She had anticipated the exhaustion and had done so much meal prepping the week prior; so, at least she wasn’t just subsisting on shit meals. She was making good progress and was still on schedule to be done the Friday before winter break. She had been living like that for about a week when life decided that apparently she had it too easy…
It was two Fridays before winter break when they were assigned the group project in Biology. Aušra and Jasper had obviously paired up. Unfortunately, this was something that would have to be done with time outside of school. Time she did not currently have (and would not have until after winter break started). And, of course, it was due right after Winter break ended.
How the hell are we going to get this done??
Chapter 14: Things Just Keep Getting Weirder
Summary:
It’s the last week of exhaustion (hopefully) for Aušra. There’s a good amount of concern about the project. And Leah asks her for a favor.
Notes:
Additional Big Thank You to everyone who commented last chapter! (As well as anyone who’s commented on any chapters) Seasonal depression has been hitting me hard and y’all really helped give me that extra boost of motivation these past few weeks! Thank you!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Was Aušra nervous? Yes. Should she be? No, probably not. Was that going to stop her brain from freaking out? Absolutely not.
Her exhaustion wasn’t helping matters either. She didn’t have enough energy to properly combat the intrusive nagging thoughts. She hadn’t expected her lack of sleep to affect her so much. She had gone months on less sleep than she was getting now, as well as weeks with no sleep at all. She would blame her age, but Misha was more than twice her age and did it on the regular. The fact was, she was out of practice, and her brain was making its displeasure known. (It also didn’t help that she went from getting a solid 8-9 hours a night to suddenly getting half that.)
Someone nudged her arm. She blinked, turning to look at the nudger. It was Joel.
“You good?” he whispered.
She blinked again, having to force her eyelids to open. “Yeah… just tired —haven’t been sleeping well.”
He nodded, “feel that… I got an energy drink, you can have if you want?”
Bless this boy.
She shook her head, “nah, caffeine doesn’t work on me.”
“Shit, for real?”
She nodded again.
“Damn, that sucks.”
Aušra shrugged, “thanks for the offer though.”
She retained nothing from the rest of English class. Maybe she should just go home early? Fake an illness, then take a nap?
The voice in her head was screaming at her to do it. She couldn’t really argue with the logic of, ‘why be here if you’re not going to be cognizant enough to absorb any information?’ So, when the first period bell rang she went to the nurse’s office.
She may or may not’ve used magic to give herself a mild fever, so she would be allowed to go home no questions asked. It worked. And soon she found herself at home, she passed out face down on the couch (that’s how she preferred to sleep).
She was awoken by something cold and wet nudging her face and a phone ringing in her ear.
“Hhgnm?”
The phone rang again.
‘Someone is calling.’
She groaned as she pushed herself up from the couch, grabbing the phone and answering before it rung again.
“…hello?” she half groaned.
“Hello”
“…Jasper?” she questioned, speech still slightly slurred from sleep.
“Yeah…” he sounded nervous.
“Oh, uhhh, hey. What’s up?”
“Oh, I uhh—well, you see—“ he paused, Aušra could hear a quiet growl-huff through the phone. “…You weren’t at school, and I, um… ‘m sorry if this is weird or something … but I wanted to make sure you were doin’ okay?…”
Aušra smiled to herself.
This man is so awkward it’s endearing.
“Oh, yeah, sorry. I went home just after first period, I uh, wasn’t feeling good.”
“Oh. Well, ‘m sorry to hear that. Are you feeling any better?”
She paused, checking in on herself physically. She was much less tired. Hungry though. What time was it? She looked at her watch —14:42. Oof, she slept way longer than she wanted. But she was—
“You still there?”
“Oh! Yeah, sorry. I just woke up from a nap, my mind’s still booting up.” She let out a soft laugh.
“Oh, ‘m sorry if I woke you.”
“Nah, don’t be, I needed to be up anyways. And to answer your previous question, I am feeling much better.”
“I’m glad to hear that…”
There was an awkward silence that Aušra wasn’t sure how to fill (or even if she should).
“Sooo…… ‘bout that biology project…” Jasper started, and all of Aušra’s previously forgotten anxiety slammed back into her with the force of a tidal wave. “When do you want to work on it?”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“Uh…” was all she was able to manage as she attempted to wrangle the rampaging bull of anxiety in her mind. “…sooo, there’s a, um… slight issue… with that.”
She couldn’t decide if asking about this over the phone was better or worse than in person. The phone meant that she didn’t have to try and look at him, which was a point in its favor, but it also meant that he couldn’t feel her honesty or reluctance to ask him. Not that it really mattered because they were obviously talking about it right this moment.
“What kind of ‘issue’?” he sounded concerned.
“Well, you see… uh—”
Agh! Why was she like this?? Why couldn’t she just spit it out? It’s not hard. Just fucking talk! She took a deep breath.
Just rip off the bandaid, Aušra…
“So, I’m like really busy this week with work, like really busy. It’s a rush commission for a lot of money but it’s left me with absolutely no free time whatsoever. Like zero, zilch, nada basically until Sunday, which is technically winter break.”
She let out the rest of the breath.
“Okay, so what’s the issue?”
He couldn’t be serious.
How the hell do I say, “‘The Issue’ is you and your family are vampires and obviously fucking recluses because you and Alice have declined literally every previous invitation I’ve given to hang out outside of school, and (sometimes) get extremely uncomfortable when I bring it up? ‘The Issue’ is, that you’ve only ever agreed to spend time with me at school and school is not an option right now, nor will it be until the assignment is due! ‘The Issue’ is I’m so tired emotionally, to the point that I’m basically constantly getting overstimulated but there’s nothing I can do about it because I just have to fucking wait it out, and I can’t stop doing any of the things I’m doing, because if I do, it’s just going to get so much worse. ‘The Issue’ is that at this point in my depression, the only times I feel any semblance of normal is when I’m with a friend but I can’t always have someone with me, so I end up spending at least half the day feeling like I’m puppeting around my meat mech of a body, doing a bad job at appearing human. ‘The Issue’ is you’re giving me extremely mixed signals about our friendship with no clearly defined boundaries, so I have no idea where ‘the line’ is and how not to cross it. ‘The Issue’ is I’m terrified of crossing ‘the line’ and losing you —which is stupid because I’ve known you for barely two months and yet you’ve somehow managed to worm your way past (some of) my defenses. ‘The Issue’ is how close I’m getting to you fills me with anticipatory dread but also such a warmth and I don’t know what the fuck to do about it!
……huh…… that was… unexpected…
“Well, uh, you see, ‘the issue’ is, I don’t know where we could work, what with school being closed…” Welp, here goes nothing… “unle—“
“We could use my house.”
What . She misheard that, surely. Right?
“Sorry, could you repeat that, please?” she asked in disbelief.
“I said that we could use my house—”
Okay… so she did hear him correctly… why was he offering up his house? And why now? What had changed? Was she still sleeping and this was a weird dream?
“—if you want to, that is…”
“Uh, yeah that’d work for me…” she responded, almost mindlessly, as she was still trying to wrap her head around what he said.
“Sounds good… Will you be back at school tomorrow?”
“Should be, yeah. Ar-are you sure?”
“Pardon?”
“Are you sure ‘bout us using your house.”
“Oh, yes. I mean, I don’t see a reason why not.”
Aušra narrowed her eyes in suspicion and confusion. “Okay, if you’re sure…”
“I’ll double check with Carlisle and Esme when they get home, but like I said, I can’t think of a reason they’d say no.”
This was weird… right? Or was it just her? Yeah, no, this was definitely weird. Why would they all of a sudden be okay with her coming over? (Because to her this was a very sudden change.)
“Okay, I guess just let me know if something changes?”
“I absolutely will. Have a good rest of your day Aušra, ’m glad you’re feelin’ better… See ya tomorrow.”
“Thanks, and yeah see ya tomorrow. Apologize to Alice for me, will ya? I didn’t mean to leave y’all hanging like that. I would’ve told you, but it’s not like I have any way to contact y’all.”
“Oh!” h e paused. When he spoke again he sounded almost hesitant… nervous? “Do you want to…?”
Aušra’s eyes widened, “want to…?” she prompted, because there was no way he was offering what she thought he was offering. (Even though she had no clue what else he could be offering…)
“Have our numbers? Mine and Alice’s?”
Oh. He was. He was??
“Oh, uh… yeah, sure” she replied dumbfounded. None of this conversation had gone the way she thought it would (not that that was a bad thing).
He rattled off both his and Alice’s cell phone numbers once she had gotten out her address book. Then they said their goodbyes again and hung up.
She sat in the kitchen (because that’s where her address book resided) at the island, staring at the book on the countertop. More specifically, the two numbers she had just scrawled in it. She felt like she was in a daze, like she was high. (Not that she could get high—at least not easily.)
“Did that really just happen… or was I hallucinating?” she finally said after what must’ve been a minute of silence.
‘Unless we can somehow co-hallucinate the same thing, it happened.’
“Huh, welp, no time to dawdle, need to get to work.” She hopped off her stool and went to get changed for her wood shop. She’d need to work extra today to make up for the time she’d miss tomorrow doing make up work. (She definitely wasn’t jumping straight to work in order to forget about how close her and Jasper were getting…)
That night, since she stopped in the middle of something and there was no point in cleaning up just to take the same tools back out later, she left her shop ‘early’ (it was still past 22:30).
She happened to looked at the swing as she walked back towards the house. Altering her course to said swing, she tucked in her shirt and jumped up to grab the metal bar that she had installed partway up the chains. She curled her lower body up, instinctively hooking her legs around it, and then flopped herself upside down. The sudden jerk and momentum from the movement caused the swing to start to, well, swing. She made small pleased hum in the back of her throat and moved her body to continue the swings movement.
She liked the sensation, the force pulling her down, then that brief moment of weightlessness at each end of the arc. It felt nice. Soothing. She wasn’t sure exactly how long she stayed out there, swinging like deranged trapeze artist. It was a while though. She would sit up on the bar occasionally, whenever the head rush started to become too much. She heard Tamsus’s nails clicking on the back porch, then padding towards her.
“Hey Tamsie.”
‘Hello! Are you having a good time?’
She nodded. He sniffed then let out a low growl.
‘Dickhead is close by…I can smell him.’
‘…do you mean Edward?’
‘Yes. To whom else could I be referring to?’
She sent him back the vocal equivalent of a shrug. She focused, she could feel something at the very edge of her senses, though it was too indistinct at this distance to tell what or who it was.
‘Where is he exactly? Can you show me?’
Tamsus turned around and started sniffing the air (while also searching with his eyes). After about fifteen seconds she felt him trying to deepen their ‘connection’. She opened up her side of the bond and his vision flooded her senses. She saw Edward, probably about 150 yards away, up in a tree.
‘Idiot. He looks like a gargoyle,’ she commented, closing that part of their bond.
‘HA!’ Tamsus laughed internally, but also with an audible chuff. ‘You are right, he does look very dumb… I wish he would come closer so I could fight him.’
‘Yeah, I know buddy. You’re all pent up, but I doubt he’d be stupid enough to do that… tell you what, once this crazy week is over we’ll do some combat stuff together.’ His excitement and elation skyrocketed; tail swinging so aggressively it was hitting his sides.
‘That would be amenable to me.’ h e responded, trying to make his tone unaffected.
She let out a sigh. ‘It’s late, we should be getting inside.’ She paused for a few moments, thinking, then asked, ‘should I do a trick dismount?’
‘Yes, do a backflip! I bet that would freak Creeper out!’
She snorted, “alright, gonna need you to move outta the way, Tamsus.”
He backed up and moved a bit more to the side. She grabbed the bar and brought her legs down doing a few more good swings to get the height and momentum she’d need. Then, on the front swing, she swung her legs a few times, before releasing, doing a backflip. She landed, almost perfectly. She did a dramatic bow towards Tamsus, to the left of Tamsus and then, finally, to the right of him —directly facing Edward. Without her night vision she wouldn’t have been able to see him; but, as that was not the case, she ensured her eyes caught his briefly as she raised herself from the bow.
‘I will allow you to stare down Edward with murderous intent as we walk to the house.’
She smiled at his cackling response.
———•<•>•———
School was… uneventful. Borderline boring. Which, Aušra should’ve been grateful for —considering her current schedule— but that meant she didn’t have anything to take her mind off… less than pleasant thoughts.
She was low-key anxious about going to the Cullen’s house. Not because she was worried about her safety. No, that’s not what concerned her. What concerned her was… well, actually she didn’t know what about it was making her anxious. Which, in turn, was probably causing more anxiety.
The whole thing just felt so bizarre to her. Barely a month ago, Jasper was purposefully avoiding her and Alice was extremely uncomfortable at the prospect of hanging out at one of their houses. But now, Jasper was inviting her, to his house, practically unprompted. She didn’t know what to think of it. Which, meant she assumed the worst.
She really hoped they weren’t going to ‘reveal themselves’ to her or something. She had already resolved that if that somehow happened, she would make herself known to them. (She didn’t much like the idea of lying in general. Not because she wasn’t any good at it —quite the opposite, actually. She was too good at it— but she didn’t like being lied to and, as such, liked to give others the same courtesy. Or, at least, as much honesty as she could in any given situation, without threatening her own secrets (and dear lord were there many). Or threatening others’ safety. So, she often resorted to telling half-truths or technical truths. So, if they were no longer ‘hiding the truth’ from her, she would give them the same courtesy). She highly doubted that that’s what was going to happen, but again, worst-case-scenario brain.
Surprisingly, Jasper didn’t talk about it at school. (And she for sure wasn’t going to bring it up on her own. Not in person at least; she didn’t need to irradiate Jasper with more of her chaotic emotions. She’d call him about it Saturday if he didn’t bring it up).
———•<•>•———
Thursday afternoon, she received a call from Leah.
“Hey.”
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Nothin’ much, currently just doing homework and later I’ll be doing work-work.”
Leah hummed in acknowledgment, “sooo, you planning on doing anything tomorrow? Going anywhere?”
“No…? B—”
“Cool! Would you be opposed to me coming over and hanging out? Possibly staying the night? Seth’s having a sleepover/party of some sort and I really don’t want to spend the night with a bunch of ten year olds.”
“So, I’m actually working late tomorrow night—” Aušra heard Leah let out a quiet groan-whine, “—but, I’m okay if you come over. You just gotta know that I won’t be responsible for your entertainment.”
“Yes. Ugh, thank you! That’s completely fine by me!”
“Geez, you’re that desperate to get out of the house?”
“Yes, I am. You obviously don’t understand how loud and annoying a gaggle of ten year olds can be! You could’ve offered me a tent in your yard and would’ve taken it.”
Aušra laughed. “I have much better manners than that… but I’ll keep that in mind for future reference.”
Leah chuckled lightly, “seriously though, thankyouthankyouthankyou! I owe you one.”
They talked through a few more details before saying their goodbyes.
———•<•>•———
It was Friday when Jasper finally brought it up again.
“So, what day do you want to come over?”
“Oh, I mean, what days are good for your family? I’m the one who’s imposing, so I’ll work with y’all’s schedule.”
He nodded, “you said you’d be free by Sunday?“
“Yeah, I’m done with the project tonight, and it gets picked up tomorrow. So, ostensibly, I should be free by Sunday. Barring anything unforeseen.”
His mouth twitched upwards in something that couldn’t really be called a smile because of how slight it was, but that wasn’t going to stop her. “Okay, how ‘bout Monday? You come over in the morning that way we could have the whole day to work on it?”
She hummed in thought, “yeah, that’d work for me. How early in the morning?”
“Eight? Nine? …Unless that’s too early for you?”
She snorted, “yeah that works. I’ll have probably already been up for three hours anyways.”
He looked at her confused and concerned, “why so early?”
“My body wakes me up naturally and then I can’t fall back to sleep.”
“Really?” Jasper asked.
“Yup.” she responded flatly.
“That sucks,” he commiserated.
She did a bobbing nod in response. “Oh and before I forget, where do y’all live?”
His eyes widened slightly in surprise, “you don’t know?”
Her brow furrowed, “no…? Why would I?”
His own brow furrowed. His mouth opened a little then shut again. Then he tipped his head in assent, “fair, I guess you wouldn’t…” he still sounded a little confused. “Uh, if you want, you could just follow Alice and I home from school today after weaving in the library?”
“Yeah that’d probably be easiest.”
Near the end of the period Aušra received a text.
Leah:
Bad news. My mom
needs the car which
means I have no way
to get to ur place D:
Me:
I could pick u up. tho
it’d have 2be right after
I get outta school
Leah:
I mean if ur ok with me
being @ur house then
my mom could drop
me off around 240?
Me:
Won’t be home bf 330. I
could pick u up?
Leah:
Y so late? Isn’t school
out by 2? Mom can’t do
that late.
Me:
I stay late to hang with
friends in the library until
330ish. But I could pick
u up? I’d be there by 4?
Leah:
Don’t wanna make u
drive all the way out here
and back. Would it be 2
weird for me to join u?
Aušra turned to Jasper and whispered, “would it be okay if a third-party friend joined us for a little bit this afternoon?”
“Who?”
“They don’t go here, they’re from the Quileute reservation.”
His eyebrows raised as he looked away, seemingly thinking. After a moment he responded, “I don’t see there being any issues?”
“You don’t sound too confident there…”
He looked back at her with fondness?… maybe, “it should be fine.”
She wanted to tease him about the ‘should be’ of that statement, but decided against it.
Me:
It’s cool
Leah:
Sweet! Sounds good.
See u then! <3
Me:
Text me when ur close
and I’ll come out to the
student parking lot to
get u <3
Me:
bring hw or stuff 2 do
———•<•>•———
It was around 14:50 when Leah texted that they were getting close. Aušra excused herself and made her way to the parking lot, waiting by her car.
Leah and Mrs Clearwater pulled up a minute or two after she arrived. Her sleepover things were put into Aušra’s car. Leah’s mom gave them both a hug (to Aušra’s surprise) then drove off.
“So, what do you guys do in the library?” Leah asked as they made their way inside.
“I’m teaching Alice how to weave.”
Leah made a face at that. It wasn’t judgment exactly, but it wasn’t not judgment. Like amused-confused-judgement. “Weaving?”
“Mhm, we’re currently tablet weaving, ‘cause it’s good for beginners to the craft and it can be pretty portable.”
Leah hummed in thought, “…and she asked you to teach her? This isn’t like she lost a bet or something?”
‘Lost a bet’…? Then the tone registered in Aušra’s mind. “Hey!” Aušra hit her shoulder into Leah’s playfully. “Mean!”
Leah snorted as she dramatically swayed from the hit, then shrugged.
“Bold choice making fun of the person who’s doing you a favor. Maybe I’ll just bring you right back home so you can hang with your brother and his friends.”
Leah side-eyed her. They both knew it was an empty threat, but still, she ‘conceded’.
“Touché.”
The library was never full on most days, but that day it was practically deserted.
Alice beamed at them as they entered. She had moved to be on the same side of the table as Jasper.
“Leah, this is Alice and Jasper. Alice and Jasper, Leah.” Aušra said, gesturing to each person.
“It’s so nice to meet you!” Alice practically squealed.
Jasper responded with a somewhat stilted nod and a tight half smile. Then added, rather quietly, “'s nice to make your acquaintance.”
Though she knew she would be unable to hide her amusement from Jasper; Aušra was able to successfully suppress her snort at his overly formal word choice.
Leah raised her hand in an awkward partial wave, “…hey.”
The conversation was a bit awkward and stilted at first, but eventually everyone relaxed to a point where it flowed a bit better. Though, by that point, it was almost time to go.
Once they got into her car, Aušra turned to Leah, “so you know, we’re following them home so I know where they live.”
“…okay?”
Aušra shrugged, “just wanted to let you know that we’re not going directly back to my place.”
“Oh, uh sounds good.”
She pulled out after the Cullens. There were a few minutes of silence before Leah spoke up.
“Those were the Cullens, weren’t they?” It was more of a statement than a question.
“Some of them, yeah?” Aušra glanced over at Leah, hoping her facial expression would help clarify her tone. It didn’t.
Leah let out a soft laugh, “they seem nice.” Her tone again, indecipherable.
“They are…?”
Leah just nodded, humming thoughtfully for a moment before saying, very casually, “wonder why my dad forbade me from ever meeting with them…”
Aušra’s brain and heart stalle, “Pardon?”
Leah laughed at the face of absolute mortification that Aušra was sporting.
Accurately reading the source of her mortification Leah replied, “don’t worry about it. What my dad doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
Aušra looked at her incredulously, “then why bring it up?”
Leah grew a shit-eating grin, “thought your heart might need to the exercise.”
Aušra scoffed hitting Leah’s thigh with the back of her hand, “ass.”
Jasper pulled over and rolled down his window. Aušra stopped next to them, rolling down the passenger window.
“This is us. Think you’ll be able to find it Monday?”
“Yep! Should be no problem!” she replied. They waved then headed their separate ways.
A few minutes later Aušra spoke up, “wanna know something weird?”
“What?”
“Apparently, I’ve been running by their house practically every morning for nearly two months now, without knowing it.”
“Huh, that is weird…”
———•<•>•———
When they finally got back to her house, Aušra immediately started falling into what had been her routine for the past two weeks.
They chatted a little while they did their homework but it was mostly quiet. Once Aušra’s was done she showed Leah where things were, then went out to her shop to do her final day of work.
After an hour Leah ended up joining her in the shop. Aušra gave her a pair of safety glasses and some earplugs. Leah grabbed a chair from a different bench and dragged it over to the one Aušra was currently using.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
Aušra pulled the dremel away inspecting her work, “sanding,” she replied going back in to further clean up the carving.
Leah scoffed, “I mean, obviously, but what’s it for?”
“Oh, it’s for a china cabinet.”
Leah looked around the shop skeptically.
“Most of it is already disassembled and packed. They’re picking it up first thing tomorrow morning for finishing. I’m just doing some last minute sanding and QA checks on the doors and drawers before I brand them and pack them away as well.” Aušra answered the unasked question. She pushed the plans towards Leah so she could take a look if she wanted.
“QA?”
“Quality assurance, like —”
“Wait, did you say brand?” Leah interrupted.
Aušra chuckled at the look on Leah’s face. “Yeah. Branding? Similar to what you do to livestock? It’s basically like my signature. It goes on all my professional stuff.”
“Oh cool, can I watch?”
Aušra shrugged, “if you want, it’s not that interesting though”
She did end up staying and watching. And then wandering around the shop. When she (eventually) complained about being bored, Aušra reminded Leah that it was her own choice to be in there and not inside watching tv or something.
Leah shrugged, “and leave all the boredom to you? No way.”
Aušra tossed Leah her mp3 player and had her put on some music through the stereo system. She skipped through what seemed to be her entire playlist, only letting a handful of songs actually play all the way through.
“You hate my taste in music that much?” Aušra asked in a teasing manner. She knew she had some bizarre tastes, but thought Leah would’ve been able to find something.
“Oh yeah, it’s awful. Truly horrendous,” Leah responded with extreme sarcasm. She paused to allow Aušra to feign hurt before continuing, “Nah, not really. I’m just being nosey. I just want to see everything you’re into. You’ve got a lot of genres.”
Aušra shrugged, “I just listen to what makes my brain happy. Though, that can change wildly from day to day, so I got a lot of different options for different moods.”
Leah laughed, “I can see that.”
Eventually, everything was as perfect as it was gonna get, so Aušra packed it up and put it on the pallet with the rest of the parts. When she sent Leah inside to find the number of the local pizza place, Aušra put a basic protection spell on the pallet. Pete would know how to shut it off once it got to them.
They ordered two pizzas and while they waited Aušra showered and changed. Leah changed as well.
Aušra pulled out some old blankets from her linen closet and brought them down stairs. She checked the outside temperature then went to start a small fire in the living room furnace. She used it mostly for supplemental heating overnight.
“Thank your dad and Billy again for the firewood, would you?” she asked Leah once the tinder had caught. She started adding the larger kindling.
“I’m sure they know. You’ve already thanked them like twenty times yourself —” at the look Aušra cast over her shoulder at her, Leah added, “—but yeah, I’ll tell them again.”
“Thank you”
“You know there are these things called lighters and matches and shit for starting fires right? Like, there’s no need for this ‘rubbing two sticks together nonsense’,” Leah teased.
Aušra rolled her eyes and started adding logs to the steadily growing blaze. “It’s flint and steel. Though I do know how to start a fire with a bow drill. And I do have lighters and matches and the like for when it’s just not happening or when I’m too tired. But I like doing it this way, thank you very much.”
Leah chuckled, raising her hands in submission. “Okay, have it your way, weirdo,” she said, not without fondness.
The pizza arrived soon after and they settled in on the couch for the movie Leah had brought Scooby-Doo (the live action one that had come out the year previous). Aušra reached for a slice.
“Uh, you gonna wash your hands first?” Leah asked.
“I did?” Aušra paused in confusion, looking down at her hands. “Oh! Are you taking about this?” she asked holding up her thumb, pointer, and middle fingers on both hands.
“Yeah, you’ve got like ash or something on the fingertips.”
Aušra smiled, “it’s not ash, it’s staining. I’ve been working with oak for the past two weeks. It’s got something to do with the metal of the chisels and the tannins in the oak and maybe sweat? I’m not entirely sure, it’s some sort of chemical reaction. It just happens. It’ll fade away after a while.” She shrugged and finished grabbing a slice.
Leah paused, tilting her head slightly in thought, “w eird…”
“Yeah, it took me a while to figure that one out. I also often get a mark here—” she traced a finger on her right cheekbone, close to the hairline, “—because that’s where I stick my pencil.”
“Oh, like into your hat?”
“Sorta? I mean it does end up going into my hat — actually, fun fact, if you look inside any of my lighter colored baseball caps you’ll see that the section above the ear is basically all gray now because of all the graphite— but the hat doesn’t actually hold it there. It’s too loose and the pencil falls out constantly. The pencil actually first goes under the…” she paused trying to think of the word. It wasn’t coming to her in English. She could think of it in at least three separate languages, but not the one she needed it in. She couldn’t even think of a good substitute word.
Leah was just looking at her, confused.
After about five solid seconds of floundering, she gave up, “y’know the…” Aušra started pantomiming the part of the glasses that went over the ear “…part on glasses?”
“…the arms?” Leah asked, sounding unsure.
“Is that what they’re called?”
Leah shrugged, humming ‘I don’t know’.
“But yeah, anyways, the ‘arm’? of my safety glasses is actually what keeps the pencil there. But because of the angle, the point often rubs across my cheek on the way in and out. So if it’s been a long day I end up with multiple lines… sorry, rambling”
“Eh, only a little. And isn’t that what friends are for? Listening to the other ramble about something inconsequential?”
“Yeah, I suppose…” Aušra responded with a slight smile.
———•<•>•———
They had gotten about halfway through the movie when Aušra remembered.
“Oh! Before I forget, I have something for you!” she said as she practically flung herself off the couch.
Leah flinched at the sudden noise and subsequent movement. Before she knew it, Aušra was back on the couch holding something out to her, wrapped in a small piece of cloth.
“What’s this?” she asked, hesitantly grabbing the object.
“It’s your Christmas present. I’ve been meaning to wrap it properly but hadn’t gotten around to it yet, hence the cloth.” Aušra replied with a sheepish smile.
“Oh,” Leah responded a little shocked. She hadn’t been expecting any sort of gift from Aušra.
She turned the small bundle over in her hands, and carefully unfolded the fabric. It was a wooden pendant. She looked it over, carefully examining it. “Wolves?” she asked, voice uncharacteristically soft.
“Yeah, well, you asked about the wolf ornament and looked disappointed that it had sold. And I noticed you had a few books about them in your room…”
Aušra’s voice faded into background noise. The pendant, about an inch and a half in diameter, depicted two wolf heads in profile, facing opposite directions. Their positioning made it look like they were cuddling with each other. It had a small metal loop at the top but no cord or chain attached. Leah was so lost in the tiny details that she nearly missed Aušra’s tone shift to nervous.
“…totally get you something—”
“It’s perfect.” Leah cut her off quickly. Then looked up at her friend, she looked hopeful, but uncertain.
“Really?” Aušra asked.
“It’s perfect, thank you.” Leah felt her voice waver, and a knot forming in her chest. She wasn’t sure why she was getting emotional over this. It seemed silly, but something about it just resonated in the oddest way.
“Oh, good.” Aušra breathed out in a sigh of relief. “It can be either a necklace or put on a keychain. I didn’t know which you’d prefer…” she seemed to get a touch self conscious again. “Umm… so, it’s part of a matching pair—” she revealed another, similar pendant, in her palm. Then handed it over to Leah, “—you can give it to whoever you want, but I was thinking maybe Sam? If you think he’d like that sort of thing…”
Leah gave her a soft smile, “I’m sure he’d love it… Did you know that wolves are culturally significant to us as Quileutes?”
“No, for real?”
Leah let out a small laugh, “yeah ‘for real’ —” the odd choking emotion from earlier had faded enough for Leah to feel more like her normal self, “the belief is that our ancestors were transformed from wolves into humans by a wandering transformer.”
Aušra was quiet for a second, contemplative, “that’s really cool, thanks,”
“For what?”
“For telling me. I know that some Native tribes can be sensitive —rightly so, by the way— about talking about their culture and beliefs with ‘outsiders’ because we have a tendency to take those stories or creatures and then bastardize them. So, y’know, it’s nice that you told me.
“And in case you didn’t know, you don’t ever have to tell me anything you don’t want you to. About anything. I know I can seem ‘pushy’ about things but I don’t ever want you to feel ‘forced’, y’know? Like just tell me straight up that you don’t want to talk about it and I’ll drop it, whatever it is, no questions asked... ‘Kay?”
Leah smiled, amused, “you’re adorable.”
Aušra tilted her head questioningly.
“’M Just sayin’, your concern is excessive and kinda adorable.” she teased.
Aušra squinted, lips pursed, eyebrows scrunched. She open her mouth twice but closed it before finally saying, “…I’m not sure how to respond to that.”
Leah smiled smugly. “Then don’t,” she replied, turning back to the movie and pressed play.
———•<•>•———
Aušra woke up, already a bundle of nerves. Today was the day. She was going to be at the Cullen’s house basically all day. (Not to mention the fact that today would probably also determine if Jasper would ever hang out with her outside of school ever again). Her body was buzzing in anticipation, she looked over at the clock: 04:23. She shouldn’t be disappointed, it was the standard, but she had really been hoping that she’d sleep in.
Her heart already felt like it was racing, she felt for her pulse. It was normal, maybe a hair faster, but still under 60BPM. But man, did she feel antsy. Frantic. Her mind was racing but whenever she tried to figure out what the thoughts actually were, she repeatedly pulled a blank. She got out of bed quickly, there was no way she’d be able to fall back asleep like this.
She went on a run around her property line (she felt weird running by the Cullens’ house when she was going to be there in a few hours, plus it definitely wouldn’t help with her current state of mind). It was relaxing, sort of? Not really… Yelling a bit while running helped, a little.
Fuck, this was stupid. She could —had—handled literal life-and-death situations with no issues, but a minor social interaction?? Nuh-uh. No way. The world was ending! Obviously. Her mind had to do the rational thing and panic. She just needed to burn off the extra energy to get rid of her jitters.
She pushed herself hard, going nearly full speed the entire time. After a little over an hour of running, she retreated to her basement ‘gym’ for some weight training and some intense meteor hammer practice.
It was 06:30 when she decided that she was done. It had helped —though she still felt on edge— but it felt more manageable now. She knew her nerves wouldn’t lessen anymore until she got to the Cullens’ at… 9 o’clock… She wasn’t going to be able to make it that long, not when she felt this wound up in her own house.
She went through her morning routine and then packed her bag.
Aušra was very over-prepared. She knew it. She had packed anything she thought she might possibly need. Multiple knives? Check (those weren’t specific to going to the Cullens, you just never know when a knife could come in handy). Scissors? Colored pencils? Sharpies/pens? A sketchbook? Her Gameboy sp? Silverware? Check, check, check. She absolutely wouldn’t use over half of the things she packed (and they likely had a lot of it as well). Typically she’d try to restrain herself, but with her nerves as they were today she didn’t have the energy to fight the impulse. She’d rather be over-prepared than under-prepared.
Along with all the (un)necessaries, she packed enough food and snacks to probably survive a famine. Okay, that was exaggeration, but she still had like almost double the amount of food she’d usually eat in a day.
She was 100% ready by 07:20. She tried to sit and relax, maybe do some realigning?
She couldn’t get herself into the right headspace. She stopped trying. She had realigned yesterday anyways. She let out a groan-whine-sob noise, “mmmmghhhhhnnnnn… Why am I like this??”
Tamsus walked over and laid his head in her lap. ‘I am sorry. Can I do anything to help?’
‘No, probably not.’
He nuzzled his head deeper.
She tried to just let her mind go blank. Let the thoughts and emotions just flow through her, unimpeded.
‘Your legs are bouncing a lot’
She let out another noise of frustration, “fuck it. I don’t care anymore. I’m just going to head over there now and sit at the end of their driveway until nine.”
She pulled herself up from the couch, gathered her backpack and food cooler, and walked out to her car with annoyance.
Notes:
A/N: for anyone who’s interested, Aušra drives a 1998 Mercedes C230, that was my car when I first started driving (although by then it was nearly twenty years old). I loved him dearly (his name was Hank bc something was wrong with his horn and it sounded like a dying goose, lol), and even tho he was old he was still bougie as hell. He had a keyless ignition not like a push button start, you put your key fob into the ignition and turned to start but no physical key was inserted. 1998 people, like I said, bougie
Fun fact! The Scooby-Doo (2002) movie terrified/traumatized me as a child (my severe generalized anxiety disorder was undiagnosed and therefore unmedicated! it was BAD) Jumanji also traumatized me 🙃
For those visual people like me, this is what Leah’s present sorta looks like this but made of black walnut. (So like a chocolate brown shade).
Also I pulled the Quileute legend directly from the Quileute Nations website. Even though their history and legends are super cool, I don’t like how Meyers went about adding them. (Also that ‘outsider’s bastardizing their legends’ line was originally in reference to wendigo/wihtikow and skinwalkers but also applies to this).
Chapter 15: Shenaniganizing
Summary:
Aušra has a chaotic (but fun) time at the Cullens. Shenanigans™ ensue.
Notes:
A/N: I said this in a previous note but, I’m not staying loyal to the time period in terms of music choices. Also I’m going mostly off the movie Cullen House bc I’m a visual creature and also cause that shiz is iconic. Also I’m splitting up the day at the Cullens into 2 chapters. Once again, I wrote a lot more than I thought I would, lol.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It was eight o’clock. Aušra had been sitting at the end of the Cullen’s driveway for about twenty minutes stress knitting. She was feeling better than she had been at home, so it had been a good decision to just arrive early and wait.
Or that’s what she thought, until she felt someone approaching and then saw them entering her peripheries. It was Emmett.
Effing vampire senses…
He put on a pretty convincing performance of surprise upon seeing her. But it definitely was a performance. He had a big smile on his face as he waved at her, walking over to her window. She rolled it down.
“Hey! I thought you were coming by at nine, whatcha doing here so early?” Emmett asked cheerfully.
She could feel herself blushing against her will, “oh, well… you see, I woke up early and once I was ready, started feeling antsy and decided I’d just sit here until it was time.”
“Oh gotcha. I feel that, sometimes I just can’t sit still. But why didn’t ya just come up to the house?”
She shrugged, “it’d be rude?”
“Oh, I guess—” he chuckled. “Wait, you were planning on just sitting here for an hour?”
“Until a more appropriate time, yeah.”
“Wouldn’t that be…boring?”
Aušra shrugged, “maybe, but it beats going stir crazy at home.”
He nodded thoughtfully, “well then, I guess you’re lucky I came out here!”
“What are you doing out here?” she asked even though she knew the real answer, she wanted to know his fake one.
“Taking out the trash, obviously,” he said raising his hand, gesturing to it with his head.
They both pointedly looked at his empty hand. He blinked twice, then face palmed. She tried to contain her smile. His shoulders started shaking and soon after she heard the muffled laugh coming from behind his hands.
“I am such an idiot!” h e cackled, throwing his head back. There was none of the embarrassment or self-resentment that one would expect from a statement like that.
Aušra couldn’t help but laugh with him (though quieter).
“I can’t believe I walked down the entire driveway without realizing I didn’t have the one thing I needed! That’s so effing funny!”
“Honestly, I couldn’t count how many times I’ve done something like that.”
His boisterous laughter had faded, but she could still see the mirth in his eyes. “Yeah?” he asked.
“Oh, you don’t even know.” s he responded, then told one of her more embarrassing relevant stories.
Emmett laughed lightheartedly, “at least I’m not the only one!”
She smiled. What was supposed to happen now? Does she stay here? Does she just go to the house ea—
“You just wanna come in now?”
“Damn, you read minds?” she asked, then realized the implications.
Emmett —bless him— didn’t miss a beat, immediately responding, “God, I wish! How cool would that be?”
“I think that’d depend on whether you could ‘shut it off’ or focus it on one person at a time. Otherwise I think it’d be really overwhelming. At least for me.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right… so, you gonna come in?”
She smiled awkwardly, “I guess…?”
“I’m not gonna force you, if you want to stay out here until nine you can, I just figured you’d probably be more comfortable inside?”
Aušra’s smile turned softer as she said, “yeah, okay, I’ll come. Get in.”
A small flash of confusion flitted by on Emmett’s face, but before he could say anything Aušra said, “I’m not letting you walk all the way back up the driveway yourself and then presumedly back down to take out the trash you left behind. So, get in.”
She unlocked the doors as he walked around to the passenger side. He hesitated for barely a moment before climbing in. Well, it was more squatting than climbing, but same difference.
They looked at each other, Aušra was waiting for him to buckle up. When it became clear after a few moments of sitting in silence, that he wasn’t going to on his own, she prompted, “seatbelt?”
“Oh! Right,” he chuckled, then (a bit awkwardly) maneuvered to grab the seat belt. Her car wasn’t small but it definitely hadn’t been designed with people Emmett’s size in mind.
“The seat should be able to go down and back a little more —I think. Sorry if it’s cramped.”
He dismissed her statement with a wave, but he did adjust the seat further.
After maybe fifteen seconds of driving in silence, Emmett asked, “can we turn on the radio?”
“Sure…?”
“Sick, I wanna see what kind of music you listen to.” he responded as he reached for the radio.
“Oh, in that case,” she said shooing his hand away from the radio button, “we should do the CD player,” she turned the volume up (it was her habit to turn it down when she left it, as to not accidentally burst her eardrums if she left it too loud).
Aušra couldn’t remember what CD she left in, but once it started playing she recognized it — You’re Welcome by A Day to Remember. The current song was near its end. The CD on was on shuffle and she wasn’t sure whether to laugh when the next song started playing. “Bloodsucker”.
What is the deal with my coincidental song timing and this family? It’s bizarrely perfect.
Emmett subtly bobbed his head along to the song. His presence wasn’t going to stop Aušra from singing along.
She glanced over at him right as the chorus hit.
“Bloodsucker, you always kill my vibe”
“Gone from bad to worse and, no, it's not alright”
“Bloodsucker, try to bleed me dry”
“Go and leech off someone else for the rest your life”
A massive grin spread across his face and he started laughing.
“What’s so funny?” she innocently asked.
“Oh, uh...” Aušra could see him mentally scrambling for a reason. He seemed to find one, “it’s just the lead up to the chorus. ‘Your reflection blind to reality’ ‘a shadow running from the sun rising’; it’s clever, they’re drawing allusions to both literal and metaphorical bloodsuckers. It—it’s just good lyricism. I appreciate that…” he finished, turning bashful near the end.
She nodded, “I enjoy good word play and dual meanings in songs,” she said, then gestured to the center console, “my CD case is in there if you want to snoop.”
He eagerly opened the console and pulled out her CD case and started flipping through it; typically stopping on the ones that were her personal mixes or the ones with the coolest art.
Their driveway was long, almost comically so. It took a few minutes to actually make it to the house. Aušra knew she was gaping but couldn’t stop herself as the house came into view. The brief view she had gotten of it before while astral was nothing compared to what she was seeing now.
“Holy shit,” she breathed, as she took it all in.
Emmett laughed —sharp and booming— which broke her out of her semi-daze.
“Yeah, that was my thought when I first saw it. You can park over there,” he pointed.
“What about the garbage? Doesn’t it still need to be taken out?”
“I mean, yeah, but I can do that on foot.”
“It’ll take you like twenty minutes to do that on foot. I’m going to drive you down and back.”
He opened his mouth, looking as if he would protest, but then closed it. “Yeah, uh, okay.”
He got out of the car and grabbed the barely half-full bag that was sitting on the porch. (Aušra was a little surprised there actually was a bag in the first place. She figured he had made the whole thing up.) He put it in the trunk and then got back in her car.
He switched out the CDs playing, putting in one of her mixes.
Right as they were about to pull up to the house again, Emmett blurted out, “oh! Right! Duh.” She looked over at him and he continued “Jasper and Alice aren’t at home right now.”
“Okay, where are they?”
“They went out hun— hiking,” he said, very clearly switching the word he had originally wanted to say. “Like on a nature walk or something on our property.” He looked at her nervously, seeing if she was going to accept his answer.
“Okay.”
She parked in the place he had previously pointed out to her.
“Oh, and Esme should be back pretty soon, she went out grocery shopping.” Emmett said as he opened the front door. He stepped out of the way, still holding the door open for her.
She toed off her sneakers once inside and maneuvered them more out of the way with her feet. She turned around to Emmett standing there staring.
“Soooo, whaddya want to do while you wait?”
She shrugged.
“Would you wanna play video games with me?” he asked casually, like she couldn’t see the hopeful—borderline desperate— look in his eyes.
“Sure, what games do you got?”
His face was completely taken over by his elation. He quickly showed her to the steps naming all of the multiplayer games he had.
His stuff was neatly set up in the living room, almost suspiciously so. It looked off. Perfectly displayed, almost as if to showcase it. She smiled as what had (likely) happened dawned on her.
“Do you like fighting games?”
“Yeah, I’d be down to play a fighting game.”
“I have SoulCalibur II , have you played that before?”
“No, b—” she started, but was cut off by Emmett in his enthusiasm.
“Sick! It’s super fun, and the graphics are amazing!”
Aušra decided it wasn’t worth it to elaborate that she hadn’t played this one but was a pro at the first installment and the arcade version. He’d find out so enough.
He set up the game as she took a spot on the floor beside him, putting her things beside the couch.
“Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you the first couple of times,” he said as the first fight was queuing up.
Oh, it is fuckin ON.
First round, he was KO’d in under twelve seconds. He slowly turned to look at her, jaw hanging open. She grinned deviously at him. There was no time to talk, round two was starting. That round took longer as he was more prepared, but he was still down sub-twenty seconds.
“I thought you said hadn’t played before!” he grinned.
“I haven’t.” she said still grinning deviously.
“B.S. There’s no way you’re that good and have never played SoulCalibur before!”
“Well, that’s not what you asked. You asked if I’ve ever played SoulCalibur II before, which I haven’t. But—” she paused for dramatic effect, “you are looking at the previously reigning Regional Champion for the arcade version of SoulCalibur in western Wyoming.”
“You’re pulling my leg.”
“Nope, I won a regional competition about two years ago.”
“That’s so effing cool!!”
They switched to Mario Kart: Double Dash!! after a few more rounds of Aušra creaming him at SoulCalibur. Maybe fifteen minutes later Esme pulled up and they stopped the game to help her bring in the groceries (Edward joined as well). Esme said that Aušra didn’t have to help, but she insisted that she was a guest and was more than happy to help.
Once all the groceries were brought inside (and there were so many. She hoped they donated them or something or else that’d be a huge fucking waste and she might have to reveal herself on principle to make them stop), Aušra stayed in the kitchen while Esme and the boys put everything away (she would’ve offered to help but figured she’d be more in the way than anything).
“Did you have any difficulties finding the house?” Esme asked (as expected, now that Aušra wasn’t overstimulated to hell, she could appreciate the smooth and soothing tone of Esme’s voice).
“None whatsoever. I followed Jasper home on Friday and funny thing is, I’ve been running by your house almost every morning for like the past two months and had no idea!” she laughed lightly, she really did find it funny.
Esme joined with a small laugh of her own, “oh, that is funny dear! So, you like running? Are you going to try out for track?”
Aušra laughed, “no, definitely not! I use running mostly as an emotional regulation tool —it’s also just good cardio in general. I don’t want to do it competitively.”
“Ah, I see, do you do any other sports?”
“Yeah, I do a lot of weightlifting, and when there’s a public pool around I like swimming laps because it’s good for breathing control and lung capacity. I also just like being in the water.”
She heard Emmett quietly say to Edward, “I told you she was strong!”
Aušra huffed a laugh at his tone, Emmett perked up and looked at her.
“I told him you were strong, but he didn’t believe me!” he reiterated, but this time directly to her.
She turned to Edward who looked over it, “what. You don’t believe women can be strong or muscular?” she (somewhat) subtly goaded.
He sighed. Emmett answered before Edward could speak up, “he said that you didn’t ‘seem muscled,’ and still didn’t believe me even when I said I had seen your arms!” He hid his mouth from Edward and stage whispered, “between you and me I think he was just butt-hurt because I said that you could beat him in an arm wrestling match.”
She giggled at his theatrics, then got a wicked idea. “I mean we could test that theory right now.”
Emmett beamed and smiled mischievously, whipping his head towards Edward, clearly repeating something to him mentally.
After a few moments, Edward groaned, “fine!”
Emmett fist pumped.
“No, roughhousing inside,” Esme commented from the pantry.
“Yep!” Emmett replied, already ushering Aušra and Edward down the steps.
They were now in the backyard, kneeling across from each other with a very large mostly flat rock (at what point does a rock become a boulder?) between them. Edward had a look of, ‘let’s get this over with’. Aušra pulled off her hoodie (carefully separating it from her t-shirt first, as to not pull them both off), and tied it around her waist. She rolled her shoulders and shook out her arms before placing one on the rock. Edward let out a sigh then mirrored her, grasping their hands together.
Emmett hadn’t stopped grinning the whole time. He placed his hand on top of theirs, counted down from three, then released them.
Aušra matched Edward’s slowly increasing pressure perfectly for the first couple of seconds then started increasing her own. When they got up to the limits of her natural strength she activated her runes. Carefully directing more and more jėga to the one on her right shoulder. Though he kept his face mostly neutral, she could see the confusion steadily growing in Edward’s eyes. That confusion morphed into panic as they well surpassed the limits of the human body. They were probably nearing his normal limit as well. She could feel the subtle tremors of muscle strain. Spaghetti-ass arms. Aušra could go further, but the almost fear in his eyes was satisfying enough; so she allowed her arm to be slowly (didn’t want to have the rock crack from the force of her hand being slammed against it) pushed down.
She smiled good-naturedly. “Damn, good job. Guess you’re stronger than ya look,” she said, winking very quickly (making it look almost like a twitch) while Emmett was looking away —lamenting her loss for her.
He looked back at her with a haunted look in his eyes, but forced a smile, “yeah…”
Edward quickly excused himself back inside; her and Emmett soon followed.
———•<•>•———
Jasper was nervous. Today was important, and he wanted —no, he needed— for everything to go well. Hence the hunting. Even though he had just fed two days prior and wasn’t that hungry, he wanted to ensure he was perfectly full. This would be the first time that he’d be around her without any other living thing around. She’d be the only warm body; have the only beating heart. It didn’t matter that Aušra’s scent had never been appealing in that sense to him, he wasn’t going to take any chances. (It did matter, for the fact that if her scent had been appealing to him, he almost definitely would not be doing this).
They were cleaning up now. He felt the sudden spike in Alice’s mischief just moments before she jumped on his back. He’d had just enough of a warning that she didn’t actually throw him off balance, but he rolled forward anyways. She had obviously been planning to jump off him before he went down, but he ruined that when he grabbed her hands and pulled her down with him. (At least he assumed, based on the fact he was feeling her ‘this isn’t going how I thought it would’ blend). She squealed, quite loudly, directly in his ear. He hadn’t fully accounted for the decline and they both went tumbling down the hill. He let go so he wouldn’t hurt her on the descent.
They both scrambled for the pin at the bottom, but he was the one to end up on top. She pouted up at him as he sported a smug smile, “ya done?”
Her eyes squinted, joining in on the pout. She was emanating her reluctant defeat right up until the moment before both her feet connected —kicking him in the stomach— launching him off of her. He landed on his feet, but Alice was already gone from her spot. He spun around, eyes searching the direction where he could feel her. She was crouched in a tree, impressively well hidden (for the amount of time she’d had to hide, at least). When they made eye contact she let out a little ‘eep!’ and darted off.
She was faster than him, but he was more experienced in hunting, so her attempts to throw him off her trail were ineffective. Mostly.
She had jumped across a small gorge and he followed, only to be clotheslined by her as he landed.
She laughed in triumph as she jumped onto his back and pinned his shoulders to the ground. He went limp.
He grunted into the dirt and she quickly rolled off, laying out beside him. He rolled over, staring up at the canopy.
“Thanks,” he said after a moment or two.
“No problem. Figured you were getting in your own head and could use a distraction.” she touched the tip of her pinky to his.
He let out an amused huff, “you figured right…”
He was sure, that even without his gift, he’d be able to feel her self-satisfied smile right now. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax (well, as much as he could). Tried to empty his mind. Bask in the calmness of the forest, the lack of emotions bombarding him from every angle. He could tell Alice was doing her best to temper and direct her anxious enthusiasm for him. He briefly pressed his pinky to hers more firmly, sending her a pulse of his acknowledgment and gratitude.
They laid there in mutual silence until Alice suddenly broke it, “hey,” she turned her head to him, “you know everything’s gonna be okay, right?”
Huh? His eyebrows scrunched.
“You’ve sighed like four times in the last two minutes.” she added.
“Oh.” Then he looked at her, she had felt so sure of herself. He cocked an eyebrow, “wait how do you know that everything will be alright?” he lighted interrogated.
She shrunk a little under his gaze, feeling caught, “…'ve seen it…” she mumbled—almost unintelligibly— avoiding eye contact.
Jasper rolled and pushed himself up so he was half leaning over her, “'m sorry what?”
Alice sat up as well, in doing so, also putting her face back out of his view, “I said, ‘I’ve seen it’.”
“How? I thought you couldn’t see the future with her?”
“I can’t,” she emphasized, “but I found a sorta loophole.” She preened a little but there was still some odd form of guilt present.
He stayed quiet, hoping to get her to elaborate.
She turned around to face him, criss-crossing her legs, “So, I can’t see the future with her in it, but I figured out that I can see the future after? So, I don’t know what exactly is going to happen while she’s at the house, but in every version I’ve seen, we’re all alive with golden eyes tomorrow.”
That did ease some of the worry that was swirling in his chest. But why did she feel guilty?…
He gasped (mostly for theatrics) when it hit him, “you went against what Carlisle said!”
Alice’s eyes went wide and her lips pursed as she tried very hard to avoid eye contact.
“Whaddya have to say for yourself, young lady?” he probed, slightly playfully.
“Umm… Well, I was doing what Carlisle asked, but then something happened and then I decided to try and experiment…?”
“What ‘happened’?”
“Umm… So it was the day that you and Carlisle went to go see her?” He nodded and she sheepishly continued, “well I got a random, kind of fuzzy vision of you, being happier when you came back, which is why I encouraged you to go. And then that got me thinking about what I could and couldn’t see regarding her, so I started testing out the limits?”
“Alice…”
“I know, I know! But I didn’t hurt myself!” When he shot her his disbelief, she amended, sheepishly, “too much, that is. I was very careful, and whenever I started getting the TV static-y stuff I’d stop!” she defended.
He sighed, looking at her with fond exasperation. He couldn’t judge her, he had hurt himself far more than that while trying to be helpful. He glanced down at his watch, “we should get going soon, we’ll need to get cleaned up one we’re back.”
Alice looked down at herself and laughed, “yeah we’re filthy!” She looked at him and smirked, “if only someone hadn’t dragged us down a hill and into the dirt!”
He scoffed then lunged at her, catching her by surprise in a (very loose) headlock, “yeah, if only.” He adjusted his grip freeing up a hand. “Maybe someone shouldn’t’ve tackled me right next to a dirty hill!” She let out a squealing giggle as he started tickling her; man, was she ticklish.
She lightly fought back, batting at his arms.
“Stop!…” she squawked, in between giggles, though it sounded more like ‘staw-puh’.
“Hey!” he exclaimed when he felt something wet on his arm. “Are you biting me??” he asked incredulously. He felt the puff of air from her laugh against his forearm. He twisted around, “ya are!” She wasn’t, not really. It was more like ‘placing her open mouth on him’; she even had her lips curled over her teeth.
Alice giggled and let go.
“God, you’re feral; ya know that? ” he said fondly, standing up, then pulling her up as well.
She smiled big, “yeah.” she agreed. “We should actually head back now. Wouldn’t want you to be late for your d— … uh, thing.”
As Alice and Jasper got close enough to the house, they could hear something was up. Aušra was already there. He looked down at his watch, 8:42. He’d known she’d likely be early, but by over twenty minutes?
As they got closer they heard Edward groan, “oh thank goodness you’re back! I can’t take any more of this.”
Any more of what?
“Her and Emmett together, are diabolical.” he responded. “—I am not ‘being dramatic’, Rosalie.” he snapped.
“What are you talking about Edward?” Alice asked.
“Just listen to them.” he exasperatedly said.
“—telling you: they’re not fish!” Aušra said.
“What do you mean?? They have gills and live in the water exclusively! That’s a fish!” Emmett responded.
“I know! That’s what’s so messed up about it! But taxonomically, if sharks are fish and trout are also fish, then so is a whale. In fact! It’s easier to say that you are a fish than it is to say a shark is a fish!” she explained zealously.
Jasper couldn’t help his smirk. He could feel Aušra’s enthusiasm sparking and radiating and bubbling from here (it was faint, but if he pushed himself he could feel it). That eased his heart a bit, it was good she was feeling comfortable.
“Do you want to know how this all started? Fruit. They were talking about fruit. And then Emmett mentioned that tomatoes were ‘technically fruits’ and she went on this tangent about what fruits ‘actually were’ in a scientific sense. Then she told him that the fluff part of dandelions that the seeds are attached to —those are fruits. And that samaras —the little helicopter part of maple seeds— are too, and now it’s just devolved into her telling him weird science things.
“—It’s not ‘charming’, Jasper. It’s annoying.”
“Why are you so worked up about this, Edward?? It’s harmless.” Rosalie interjected.
“You don’t have to listen to Emmett’s thoughts right now. And no, I will not be leaving.”
“Loves, you know how I feel about you all talking through the walls.”
The house was now in view. “Not to interrupt, but we have a slight issue.” Alice piped up.
“What kind of issue, dear?” Esme asked.
“Umm, we’re kinda dirty…”
“Oh, well, we said that you went on a ‘nature walk’ so if it’s muddy shoes and hems that should be fine.” Esme replied.
“Yeah, no. We’re like the head-to-toe kind of dirty. We, uh, may have wrestled a bit and rolled down a slightly muddy hill…” Jasper elaborated. They stopped at the tree line.
“Ah, I see…”
“If you entered from the roof, she wouldn’t see you —No, that wouldn’t work because she would still be able to hear the showers.”
Right after Rosalie said that, Emmett piped up and said, “oh! I’m so forgetful today! I promised Rose that I’d help her with something in the garage for like ten minutes this morning, you wanna come with?”
Aušra paused at the sudden interruption, “uh… yeah, sure, I guess… if she’s okay with that.”
“It’ll be fine, come on.”
“Well, there’s your window,” Rosalie commented dryly.
———•<•>•———
Aušra knew going to the garage was a distraction, but went along with it. She had activated her hearing runes when Emmett started acting weird in the middle of their discussion. She couldn’t quite make out what Jasper and Alice had said (she could hear it, but it was all muffled and garbled), but could infer a little based on what the others said.
She followed Emmett back down to the basement? first floor? entry level? and out to the garage. She gasped (more of a long inhale of awe) when she entered, pausing in the doorway.
“Hey Rose!” Emmett said hopping down the few steps and walking toward the car she was working on.
It was gorgeous. Which was an odd thing to think about a garage, Aušra knew that, but she couldn’t think of a better descriptor. It was just so organized. Multiple tables and work benches clean and (mostly) free from grease. There was no clutter (though there were a parts and such, on a few of the work benches). It was so clean and organized, that it looked to be from a tool or car magazine.
“It’s beautiful…” Aušra said, mindlessly, not quite in a whisper. She took the steps slowly still taking in the space around her.
“The car?” Rosalie asked Aušra, then got up on her tip-toes to kiss Emmett on the cheek.
Aušra blushed, “oh uh,” she looked at the car (actually looking at it for the first time), “heheh… I was actually talking about your garage.”
Rosalie made a bemused face at that. She was wearing a pair of (well tailored) coveralls. Her hair was back in a claw clip with a bandana over the top. She was completely bare faced.
“I mean the car’s beautiful too! But it’s just that it’s so organized and—”
Aušra was cut off by Rosalie’s laughter. She tensed up for half a second before she relaxed. It was wasn’t mocking in tone, just amusement. Her head tilted in question.
Once Rosalie’s laughter had died down (which happened fairly quickly), she looked over at Aušra, “I’m sorry, it’s just –I –your face: you just looked so concerned about not complimenting the car.” She let out another small laugh, this one barely more than a breath, “thank you, though. I put a good amount of effort into keeping it clean and organized in here.”
Rosalie was already prepared to ‘deal with’ Emmett’s lie, having something that feasibly Rosalie would need the help of someone Emmett’s size/strength if they were human.
“Would it be too weird if I looked around? No skin off my back if you say no. I won’t move or mess with anything, I just want to see what tools you have.”
Rosalie shrugged while leaning over, reaching into the engine compartment, “knock yourself out.”
Aušra slowly made her way around the garage, opening tool chests and cabinets (dark textured melamine - good choice), looking at what Rosalie’s shop had to offer.
Everything had a little label indicating its spot, like, to a ridiculous degree. Especially for a vampire. Aušra didn’t know why, but the overly-labeled garage felt petty. There had to be a story.
“This is a lot of labels…” she said rhetorically, but inviting a response if Rosalie felt like giving one.
“Yeah, I didn’t used to – label everything’s spot, but someone – had a hard time – putting my tools away properly. – I did it so – they’d have no excuse – not to.” Rosalie responded haltingly, as she was trying to manipulate something into place.
Aušra barely heard Edward’s snide response and didn’t at all understand the actual words that were said. She deactivated her hearing runes completely. No need to risk a headache.
Aušra was left to her own devices for the most part. Which was absolutely okay with her. Occasionally there’d be a loud clang as Rosalie put a tool back into the toolbox. The tone hurt her ears; she couldn’t imagine what it’d be like to theirs.
After around ten minutes in the garage, she heard the front door open.
Notes:
A/N: that arm wrestling scene has been in my “torments for Edward” notes since like chapter 4 lol. You cannot convince me that he doesn’t have spaghetti arms, boi’s a string bean.
Chapter 16: Shenaniganizing Part 2: Electric Boogaloo
Summary:
More chaotic fun times at the Cullens. More Bonding™ ensues.
Notes:
A/N: If you noticed my writing style/verbiage changing sometimes mid chapter; no you didn’t. (My current fixation is a pride and prejudice marriage of convenience rewrite so that may ‘clue you in’ to where I started writing immediately after reading it).
CW: Brief mentions of past sexual harassment (not done by any known characters). As well as slight warning if you get bad secondhand embarrassment. It’s quick but it’s there. (Both are when they start talking about oral fixations).
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
After around ten minutes in the garage, Aušra heard the front door open.
“We’re back!” Alice called out in a mildly sing-songy way. The door to the garage opened, and her head popped through, “hey Ros— Aušra!”
Aušra was already close to the doors, “guess that’s my cue, thanks for letting me hang.” she said to both Emmett and Rosalie, giving them a half wave.
Alice had backed out of the doorway, giving her room to pass. As soon as the door was shut, Aušra was accosted with an entirely unexpected hug. Alice had never hugged her before. She blinked away her shock and confusion though, and quickly returned it. Alice was still a little warm from her shower. That close, Aušra could actually smell Her, not her shampoo or perfume, the real her. Earthy, but sweet, with a hint of something akin to toffee underneath. It was nice. The hug didn’t last long and she was left feeling a little emptier with its loss.
Jasper had walked up beside Alice, and Aušra —clearly without thinking— turned and opened her arms to give him a hug. They both froze. He went stiff with a masked look of discomfort. The world dragged on in that moment.
She was mortified. He had never initiated any sort of physical contact between them. A light tap on the arm to get her attention at the most! And here she was, mindlessly putting him in a situation where he’d probably feel weird ether way he chose.
She had started to drop her arms when his expression sured. Jasper —to her unending (but not unwelcome) surprise— stepped forward and accepted a light side hug.
(He was back to room temperature. She couldn’t smell him like she could Alice, but some products he was using smelled of the woods. Or rather, more specifically, what scent companies typically brand as ‘The Woods’. His hair, like Alice’s, was dry. She wondered if he used a hair dryer. Alice almost certainly did, his didn’t look neat enough though. She quickly banished the picture of him running around outside like a madman to get his hair to dry faster.)
He gave her a small smile (it looked a little forced, like he was trying to make it more obvious.) as he stepped away. “You’re early. When d’ya get here?”
Emmett came up the steps from the garage, “she got here around eight-ish?”
Jasper looked back at her, “why so early?”
“Anxiety mostly. I was just going stir crazy at home so I decided to drive here early. I was just going to sit at the end of y’all’s driveway until now, but Emmett happened to be taking out the trash around eight and invited me up.”
“Oh, well, thank you Emmett.” Jasper turned his attention back to Aušra, “would you like to go upstairs and start working?”
She made a ‘lead the way’ gesture and they headed back up the stairs.
They had been working for probably two and a half hours when Aušra called the first break. Esme had left about ten minutes before to go to work…? (Aušra still wasn’t entirely clear about that).
“I need to stretch, my legs are starting to cramp,” she said as she got off her chair at the breakfast bar/island they’d been working at.
She walked over to the couch and grabbed her snack bag. She put it on the counter next to her seat. Jasper looked at her curiously.
“Realized I wanted a snack too,” she explained, while moving back to the middle of the floor and sitting down. She started stretching, primarily focusing on her lower body, but working her wrists and neck as well.
“Have you ever done dance?” Jasper asked.
“Hmm? —oh, a little? A few classes, here and there. Why do you ask?”
He shrugged, “just curious. You just stretch in a similar way to Alice when she was taking dance classes.”
Aušra shrugged, “I don’t know if there’s a ‘dancer-specific’ way. There’s probably only so many ways to stretch certain muscle groups …but I guess dancers tend to focus on leg flexibility.”
He nodded thoughtfully, “yeah, suppose you’re right.”
“Ah, shit.” she said as she switched positions to a sideways lunge.
“Hmm?”
“I just noticed there’s a hole in the thigh of these pants.” She turned and pointed it out.
“Oh, that’s not that bad,” Jasper responded.
“Yeah, but now that I’ve noticed it, I won’t be able to ignore it. I’ll be able to feel it all day and will continue poking and prodding and picking at it…”
He hummed thoughtfully, “if you would excuse me for a second,” he walked halfway up the stairs, “hey, Alice?”
Aušra heard some shuffling around upstairs, then Alice’s voice filtered through, “yeah Jazzy?”
Jazzy? That’s adorable.
“Do you have any pants or shorts that Aušra could borrow?”
“Omg yes! Just give me a second!” she said as she retreated down the hallway.
About a minute or so later, Alice was downstairs offering her a pair of shorts. Aušra held them up, eyeing them skeptically.
“Is something wrong with them?” Alice asked, concerned.
“Uh, kinda?… these aren’t going to fit over my hips or ass…”
Alice’s eyes went wide, a heavy blush working its way quickly across her face and neck. She started quietly stammering, mouth opening and closing rapidly with little to no noise coming out. She was also, very decidedly, trying to not look at Aušra. Edward —who was in the living room and had been ignoring them to this point— let out an annoyed sigh, dragging a hand down his face.
After a few moments Alice seemed to gain her composure (at least a little), she laughed nervously, “I don’t know if I have anything bigger… maybe a flow-y skirt?”
“I don’t really do skirts —at least not while working— Especially flow-y ones.”
Alice made a questioning face.
“I move around too much and sit in weird positions, and I’m not looking to accidentally flash any of y’all…” she paused briefly, “hold on, I possibly have something in my car; give me two seconds.”
Aušra popped open her trunk and dug around until she found what she was looking for. She pulled out the small bag with a giddy (and probably a bit deranged) cackle of triumph. She pulled out the pair of pants, unrolled them and tucked the extra pair of underwear back into the bag with the other clothes.
“You keep extra pants in your car?” Jasper asked, as Aušra made it back upstairs. He sounded…amused?
“Yup. Technically, an entire change of clothes. Never know when they might come in handy —like today. I wasn’t positive that I’d actually returned them the last time I used them. Is there somewhere can I change?”
Jasper pointed out a bathroom.
“You could throw those away here,” Alice commented when Aušra put the torn pants into her bag.
“Why would I throw them away? They’re still salvageable. I’m gonna take them home, patch them up, and then they’ll be work pants.”
Alice seemed like she was about to say something, but then got a good look at the pants Aušra had changed into, and any response died on the spot. Aušra was wearing a pair of camo cargo pants, the weird kind that had zippers on the pant legs so you could turn them into shorts.
Alice swallowed, and schooled her face back to some semblance of neutrality, instead of the shocked revulsion that had been taking over. She took a deep breath; just as she was about to speak, her eyes flicked to Jasper. “Uh… Well, it seems my services are no longer needed so I’ll be in my bedroom if y’all need me.” she said before retreating upstairs.
Jasper and Aušra returned to the island.
“She hates that I’m wearing these, doesn’t she?” Aušra said with no small amount of amusement, gesturing to her pants.
Jasper’s lips twitched minutely upward, “yeah, definitely.” He looked around conspiratorially and leaned in a little closer, “I believe I’ve heard her call them ‘monstrosities’ and that the inventor should be ‘charged with crimes against humanity.’”
Aušra covered her mouth to stifle her snort, which was only somewhat effective, shooting her mirth and appreciation at him.
As they went back to working on their project, she found herself occasionally paying attention to Jasper. Not in a creepy way —at least she hoped— just idly observing. Not even fully realizing she was doing it.
He mouthed the words when he read certain passages. (With more aware observations, she realized it was only when he was going to transpose it to his notes). It wasn’t obvious either, just the smallest of movements. He still wrote in full cursive, while she had ‘graduated’ (or perhaps fallen victim to) a horrible amalgamation of cursive and print. (And it was horrible. She wasn’t even consistent when she’d switch between them). Like Aušra, whenever he stopped writing, he’d move and hold his pencil in the way you would typically hold a dip pen to keep it from dripping ink over the page.
The project work wasn’t very mentally stimulating and slow going, which did not help her wandering mind.
Jasper kept looking over at her.
She was clacking her teeth.
How long had she been doing that? She hadn’t even noticed. Stimming without even realizing it.
“Sorry,” she mumbled, pulling out a bag of cherries.
“Hmm?” Jasper responded, looking up from his notes.
“I was —” she audibly clicked her teeth together.
“Didn’t even notice,” he said shrugging.
That was a bold faced lie, but she let it slide. At least he didn’t seem annoyed by her.
She popped a cherry into her mouth. Going through her ‘routine’. She first detached the stem and tucked it up in her cheek on the left side. The pit was already removed (even though she grew up with them, Aušra hated seeds in her fruits. It ruined the ‘experience’—biting into to something squishy and then hitting something hard. Gross. Awful. It was more the unexpectedness of biting the seed that put her off; the not knowing when you’re going to bite into something hard. But, either way, eating something soft and squishy, then biting into something hard made her feel like she was eating gravel. (Berries with itty-bitty seeds were tolerated, sometimes (Depending on the seed to flesh ratio)).)
She then took the flesh and split it, splaying it out flat on her tongue, and then finally chewing. Once the flesh was swallowed, she moved onto the stem. Carefully, and in a practiced manner, manipulating it with her lips, teeth, and tongue until it was tied into a knot. Once knotted, it got placed on a napkin beside the baggie, and the next cherry was popped in to meet its fate.
Emmett came up from the entry level, opening a drawer in the kitchen, “anyone know where the knife that’s typically in here is?” he asked the room at large.
Everyone responded in the negative.
“What kind of knife ya need?” Aušra asked, enthusiastically.
“Uh, I need it for stripping wires.” he stated somewhat questioningly.
“Would this work?” She pulled her folding utility knife out of her pocket, flipping it open.
Both Jasper and Emmett looked at her puzzled.
“What?” she asked, looking between the two.
“D’you just always have a knife on you?” Emmett responded incredulously.
“Knives.” she corrected, “and yes, —well, except for school because that’s illegal, and I guess banks too. And amusement parks.” she shook her head, dismissing that derailed train of thought, going back to the original, “in situations where it’s allowed, I always have some on me.”
“Why?” Jasper asked.
She thought about it briefly before shrugging, “they’re versatile tools? Y’never know when it’ll come in handy?” She turned back to Emmett, “so will this work?”
“Uh, yeah that should work.”
Aušra flipped it closed and handed it to him. “I’ll hunt you down for it, if you don’t give it back. Just so you’re aware.” she used a semi-joking tone but she was serious.
He brought the knife to his brow in an odd salute-like gesture. “Roger that.” He glanced down at the counter, “what’s with the cherry stems?” He looked back at Aušra with a smirk, “tryin’ to pr —Nope! Never mind, not sayin’ that!”
“Good choice. That was weird,” Edward commented wryly from the living room.
Emmett turned towards Edward, “you were just gonna let me say it?”
“I mean why would he stop you? It’s not like he knew what you were going to say,” Aušra very pointedly interrupted before that potentially got out of hand. Didn’t want them admitting something they couldn’t come back from.
Edward blanched from his place on the couch. Well, as much as someone with basically no color could blanch; he metaphorically blanched. (Man, that was a stupid thought). Standing up rather stiffly, he made his leave, mumbling something about a music room?
Emmett turned back to Aušra, “okaaaay…but seriously, what’s with the cherry stems?”
“Oh, uh…” she debated actually telling them telling them the truth. Not that it was bad, just more embarrassing. Their reaction to it could make the situation uncomfortable. She didn’t think they’d be weird about it, but she never knew for sure. After a moment she readied herself, if they were weird about it, that was on them. “I have an oral fixation. Doing things like that keeps me from being more destructive in my stimming.” (Or making noises that annoyed people, like she was doing before).
“Ah.” Emmett responded. “What do you mean by ‘more destructive’?”
“Typically the stimming requires a lot more chewing and grinding than tying cherry stems does. It’s one of the reasons why most of my pencils are missing the clip. The main one being I mess with them a lot and they fall off.” She pointed to the where she had broken off the plastic clip of her mechanical pencil. “Tying cherry stems is one of the only other things that ‘fulfills the urge’.”
“What about chewing gum?” Emmett asked.
She made a face, “eh… doesn’t scratch the same itch. Don’t really know why, I think maybe it’s not the right consistency? Cause those rubber grips for pencils? Woo. I avoid those. They’re too good.”
Jasper spoke up for the first time, “why avoid them? If they, as you said, ‘scratch the itch’?”
She thought about it then shrugged, “social acceptability? Like, it’s seen as really gross to be chewing on one? And part of the stimulation is about destruction. So, sometimes when stimming with them I end up feeling really pent up and aggressive about it because they’re not filling that want/need. Because no matter how hard you bite they don’t break. And then I just end up feeling shitty because I’m stuck with those feelings for a while… So, it’s just easier to avoid them.”
Jasper nodded slowly, apparently satisfied with that answer, “ understandable.”
Emmett seemed satisfied as well. “welp.” he said clapping his hands together once, “I’m gonna get back to what I was doing. Thanks for the knife!”
“Thank you,” she said, as he started walking away.
He paused, looking back with a look of ‘for what?’
“For not being weird about it. Both of you, really. You don’t know how often I tell someone that I have an ‘oral fixation’ and then they get weird and perv-y about it.” She kept her tone light, like it wasn’t a big deal when people did, but she honestly hated it. And it wasn’t even just teenage boys who did it. Multiple times she had mentioned it and grown men (she had also been perceived as ‘full blown adult’ at the time, so at least they weren’t perv-ing on a teenager but still wildly inappropriate.) (and occasionally some women) would go instantly to oral sex (in conversations that were the farthest away from anything sexual that you could get!). “Like, they hear that, and instantly go, ‘oooh, so you like putting things in your mouth?? Ahaha…’” s he said using her ‘fuck-boi voice’. She rolled her eyes. She was getting riled up thinking about all the times it had happened in the past. “And it’s like, first off , — ” She made a quick vomiting sound — “ And second off, yeah sure, I ‘like putting things in my mouth’… and then biting them. Hard. Pulverizing it with my teeth. Gnashing it to pieces. Turning it into an unrecognizable paste.” She was in a full blown ranting rampage now, not fully thinking about what she was saying (or who she was saying it to). “Like sur e, god gave me a long and flexible tongue and the urge to put things in my mouth. But even if your penis was among those things — which it is abso-fucking-lutely Not! — you’re forgetting about the part where he also gave me the irresistible urge to aggressively chew anything that enters my mouth! And I doubt you want that happening to your ‘precious wee-wee’! AUGH!” she finished.
Jasper and Emmett were looking with inscrutable expressions on their faces. Aušra clapped her hand over her mouth, the realization of everything that she just said hitting her.
Fuck! This was awful! How could she get so worked up and forget that she was talking to them! Relative strangers; but worse because she wouldn’t have to see a stranger again! She was not venting to a ‘bestie’ like Aurelia! (Not to mention that all the others in the house would’ve heard it too). Oh god, she referenced blow jobs at least three times! Had she said ‘wee-wee’? She had. She should just leave. Maybe jump off a cliff. Definitely move away. Doesn’t matter how much time and energy (not to mention money) she had put into her current identity, that was worthless now, she should just teleport away, transform into a hermit crab, and scuttle away into anonymity.
Emmett’s laughter broke her from the internal panic. Wow, fuck him, huh. Her face was bright red, she could feel it. Her brain was screaming at her to run. Or maybe to punch him for laughing? Either option seemed far less than ideal. (Ideal would be invent a Time Machine and kidnap herself from a minute ago so she wouldn’t have said those things (would kidnapping herself cause a rift in the space-time-continuum? –doesn’t matter, this timeline doesn’t deserve to exist anyways)).
She chanced a look over at Jasper. He was looking at Emmett with a warning in his gaze (too bad Emmett eyes were closed). When he noticed her attention on him, his face went softer, more sympathetic, with a tiny upturn to his lips. She felt that same somewhat familiar —but still odd sensation— that she had felt multiple times now. There was a layer of peace and acceptance slowly building up on top of her. She grabbed onto it and pulled into her like it was a piece of scrap from a shipwreck and she was a drowning sailor. She also felt the embarrassment being slowly eased out.
Emmett stopped laughing, almost abruptly. It hadn’t been long since she had finished her horrendously embarrassing ramble. Maybe 5-7 seconds. But those seconds had been awful.
“Sorry,” Emmett apologized, “I wasn’t laughing at you. I was imagining what the face of someone you told this to would be.”
She eyed him suspiciously for a moment. He looked sincere. She gave him a small smile, “okay.”
It was a bit difficult for her to return to the project after that fiasco, but somehow she managed.
Aušra was staring at the open page of the book she was pulling from. She had been for multiple minutes. She had probably turned three pages in that time, but none of that information had been absorbed by her brain. She could hear the fridge. And the lights. It wasn’t an issue before but it definitely was one now. She was trying to ignore it but she could feel the buzzing in her skull. Scraping its way up neck. Her clothes were moving with every breath. The tag that she didn’t notice this morning was now constantly pulling at her attention. There was also something clicking. Oh, wait that was her. Fuck. She turned the page as her eyes reached the end of it. Still no information had been gleaned.
Jasper moved beside her, she tried to not get annoyed by the noise. “I think it’s time for a break…” he said, stretching his arms upwards and letting out a small grunt in show, (his muscles definitely weren’t stiff).
“Um, okay.” she responded, wondering what exactly he could feel from her. Oh, she hoped she wasn’t overstimulating him. “have anything in particular mind?”
He shrugged, “no, nothin’ in particular. Anything you wanna do?”
She followed him away from the island, “I typically try and do something mentally and physically stimulating. Get blood flowin’, ya know?”
His lips twisted to the side in thought, after a moment or two he let out a breath that was almost a laugh, “honestly? I can’t think of anything.”
He had a small quirk to his mouth, his eyes soft. He looked relaxed. It filled Aušra with some sort of positive emotion that she didn’t feel like examining at the moment.
Her lips twisted to the side, unconsciously mimicking Jasper’s previous expression, except her mouth was alternating sides. “Do y’all have a ball or something? Like a volleyball or soccer ball?”
His mouth opened then closed, eyebrows furrowed. He was quiet for a few moments, “actually I think we might have a volleyball…”
“Sick!” she replied grinning.
They went downstairs and retrieved the ball from a closet. She only got a peek but it looked to be full of mostly baseball stuff. She tested the volleyball’s fullness. It was definitely freshly pumped.
“We don’t have the net set up,” Jasper said when they got outside.
She gasped dramatically, “are you telling me that thou hast a net, but have it not set up? Or art mine ears deceiving me?? Barbarians! Knaves!”
Warmth and amusement filled his gaze, “thine ears do not deceive thee, it is truth. We do indeed, possess a net for the volleying of balls. In fact, we also possess the posts and the proper receptacles in the ground for that very game. But, as you have said, we are indeed heathens and have not yet set it up.” His hand was placed on his chest as he gave her the most sorrowful and apologetic look.
“Net, posts, and receptacles! If that is true, then, the level of your depravity is far worse than I originally feared!” She threw her head back, the back of her hand to her forehead miming fainting. She held it for a few moments (to up the drama), before she dropped all theatrics but the manner of speaking, “well, as it so happens, fortune has smiled upon you today, for I only become friends with the most depraved of scoundrels.”
An unknown expression flashed across Jasper’s face but was gone before she had any real chance to analyze it. A small smile had replaced it, so it probably wasn’t bad.
“Well, trust that I feel that luck very acutely.”
She let loose the spinning, twirling swell of merriment, delight, sense of ease, and every other positive emotion that had started bubbling in her chest during that silly interaction. She wasn’t sure how much of a difference ‘letting go’ actually made to his ability to feel her. There was obviously at least some sort of difference because his body language always minutely changed when she did it.
Currently, he got this sort of ‘blissed out’ face. Not fully relaxed per se, his mouth was still slightly upturned and his eyebrows were higher than typical. (Side note: How much time had she spent looking at this man’s face that she knew where his eyebrows typically rested?) His features went… soft? Yeah, that was a good word for it, soft.
“Well, we don’t need a net. We can just set the ball back and forth to each other.”
His eyes returned to focus, face back to its normal, stern resting place. “Yeah, okay, that sounds fine with me.”
They set the ball back and forth, neither of them were perfect with their aim, causing them to have to move to the ball every time, but they still managed to keep the ball up. Once they found sort of a rhythm, Jasper spoke up.
“So, what did you do to entertain yourself as a kid?”
“Mostly playing out in the yard. Though, it was more woods than yard.”
“Any particular games?” he asked, having to step forward and crouch to get to the ball.
“Nothing of great interest. Ya know, mostly just playing around in the dirt. You?”
“Uh… Actually, pretty similar. I liked being outdoors and was usually looking for rocks when I was young. I had a pretty good rock collection at one point. Nothing of real value, obviously; just things I thought looked pretty.”
“That’s cute.” she responded, stumbling slightly on a tree root as she backed up to get under the ball. “Hobbies? You always been an artist?”
He chuckled, “definitely not. That started when we moved in with Esme. But before that I did—” he stopped himself, starting to look a little self conscious.
“You did?…” she prompted, having to run forward and drop to her knees to get the hit.
After a few more moments of dithering, he finally responded. “I did radio…”
Her brows furrowed, mouth partially open. She barely made the next hit she was so thrown off.
“How does one ‘do radio’? Like…a child DJ?”
Jasper laughed, it was loud and clear and cut through the quiet of the forest. If she wasn’t still so confused about ‘doing radio’ to pay her full attention to it, she would’ve thought it sounded nice. He grabbed the ball instead of hitting it back, his laugh had morphed into more of a chuckle.
“What?” Aušra asked, laughing a bit herself, but more out of confusion.
He finally stopped laughing with a contented sigh. “Sorry… I uh, didn’t say ‘radio’.”
“You didn’t?”
He gestured that he was going to start their volleying up again. She bent her knees showing that she was ready.
He set the ball to her.
“No.”
“Then what did you say?”
He sighed, “I said ‘I did Ro-de-o’.”
She stopped, the ball going clear over her head. Absolutely no attempt on her part to get it. She was trying far too hard to keep her face under control. She was only partially successful.
“Really?” She eventually squeaked out, body shaking slightly with the effort of keeping herself from squealing in giddy delight. “Like cowboy shit?”
He looked abashed, letting out another small sigh, “uh-huh, like ‘cowboy shit’.”
“Thats adorable!” she breathed, voice still high, but more within her normal range.
He tilted his head, observing her with a curious expression, “…you think it’s…”
“Adorable? Yeah… Is it not supposed to be?”
“Uh, I don’t know… I’ve just never had someone say that before…” he sounded lost.
She shrugged then went to retrieve the ball.
They stayed outside about an hour in total. Just chatting as they continued to volley the ball back and forth. At some point, they stopped the passing the ball and started walking around the edges of the forest.
Most of the stuff they talked about was semi vague things from ‘childhood’ (most things started with the phrase ‘when I was younger’ and not ‘when I was a kid’). She learned that the thing he liked most about ‘Rodeo’ (Aušra was fairly certain that rodeos hadn’t started until the 1890s, so he definitely hadn’t done them as a child. And it was unlikely he did them as a young vampire.) was the horsemanship (she also mentioned her love of horseback riding). That the horse he rode as a kid was named ‘Stumps’ (apparently, as a foal, it was obsessed with tree stumps and was constantly standing on or by them —very cute). He had started painting at Esme’s prompting to ‘find a creative outlet’. The entire time he said nothing of Rosalie —his ‘twin’— and she didn’t bring it up.
———•<•>•———
Even though the long break had worked very well for Aušra’s overstimulation, they reconvened in the sitting room(?) on the entry level.
Esme came home around four, and inquired what she would like for dinner.
Aušra vehemently tried to ensure her that she need not go through any extra effort on her behalf, but Esme was insistent that she was their guest so the preference should go to her.
It was only when Aušra had said “please, I’m really no good at making these kinds of decisions,” (plus possible help from Jasper after she shot him a pleading look with desperation in her eyes) that Esme finally conceded.
She was honestly surprised they were having a family dinner to begin with. Surely it was just for Aušra’s benefit. She had first refused because she thought Esme was going to make food for only her. (Which, yes, she realized the absurdity of that belief, but only after she had expressed it aloud.)
She didn’t have high hopes for whatever would be made. She mostly just hoped it would be at least semi-edible. There was only so much confidence she could place in the skills of someone who hadn’t needed to cook for the past however many years they’d been turned. (Which, going off intuition and past experience, Aušra suspected being at least 50 years.)
Her and Jasper were almost done with the project. Aušra believed it had turned out well. They probably could’ve had it finished faster if they (read: Aušra, but Jasper was (unhelpfully) obliging) hadn’t gotten as sidetracked by conversation. He was nice to talk to —which she already knew— but it was different now. Without any real “social buffer” —be it a sibling, teacher’s lesson, etc— he was different. More open, less reticent. He wasn’t chatty, in any sense of the word but seemed more… engaged? He seemed to be smiling a bit more too. Not big ones, but those tiny smirks he did. Though, if that was because he was enjoying himself more than usual or just him masking, she couldn’t be sure.
Music floated down from the main floor. Real music. As in, a live ‘performance’. Her head lifted from where it had been bent over her work. She looked around.
Jasper got one of those smirks.
“What?” she asked.
Even though he tried to hide it, his smirk only grew with her defensiveness. “Nothin’, ya just look like an on-guard prairie dog; but just more confused.”
“Fight me.” she whispered playfully.
He matched her volume and tone, “no.”
Aušra couldn’t help her smile, but she stuck out her tongue in defiance. “Boo. You’re no fun,” she said flatly. “But seriously, is that Paganini’s 9th Caprice?”
Immediately, there was a wonky note from upstairs. (Which there had not been any up to that point, not even a slightly sharp or flat note.)
“Could be,” Jasper shrugged, “it’s Edward, he always plays for Esme while she’s cookin’.”
Aušra, at least, had the wherewithal not to blurt out something stupid like, ‘How frequently is she cooking??’ because that’s what she was thinking. How often did she cook that he had said it like that. Like it was an extremely common occurrence.
Jasper had obviously mistaken what her confusion was about when he continued, “she asks him to. He doesn’t just start doing it unprompted.”
She nodded, “well, at least he’s good. That’s a blessing, I guess.”
Jasper raised a brow in question.
“He could be mediocre or awful, and Esme might still want him to play,” she said archly.
“Touché,” he smiled, then added, “do you not like the violin?”
Oh. He can pick up on that?
She shrugged, “it’s fine in general. Like they sound good in a quartet, or orchestra, but solo? They’re just kinda grating to my ears. Nothing against the instrument, I think it’s just the range and the way it resonates or something.”
“I agree,” he said, trying to curb his enthusiasm, “it can sound like nails on a chalkboard. I much prefer when he plays the piano.”
They continued talking about music. (Occasionally roasting Edward just a smidge by proxy). Jasper preferred what she liked to refer to as “Dad Rock” (The Eagles, Bruce Springsteen, Earth, Wind & Fire, and other such classic rock ballad-ers). He also liked some country (apparently, much to Edward’s chagrin), but mostly ‘outlaw country’ like Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, and The Highwaymen (and a little bit of Folk country). Though, he did admit that Dolly Parton and Garth Brooks would also be a welcome addition on a playlist.
He learned that Aušra had a vast range of music from multiple countries and languages. Most were English, because it was ‘the most accessible’. She mostly looked for things that were upbeat and bouncy and she really liked electric guitars in her music. She said she didn’t know why, but there was just something about an electric guitar shredding that ‘hit the spot’ in her brain.
Electric guitar wasn’t necessary for her to like songs, though. She also just liked songs with funny or silly lyrics. If it made her smile she’d listen to it. (She admitted to originally only liking a song because it had a ‘choreographed’ clearing of the throat.)
Aušra agreed with him that authenticity was the most important factor in music (and art in general as well). It didn’t matter how ‘good’ it was, if it felt disingenuous or performative it was ‘essentially ruined’ (her words, not his).
Aušra then when on a slight tangent rant about authenticity in people. She admitted that one of the big things that first drew her into so many counter-culture things was the genuineness of the people. They liked it because they liked it. Not because they thought they should, or to make themselves ‘cooler’ (in fact it usually had the opposite effect in ‘normal’ society). Though she admitted that that still did happen, just the frequency was less.
That when someone’s whole personality felt like a performance it was so off putting to her, that it felt ‘uncanny valley-y’ (he couldn’t help but smile at that phrasing) to her. She didn’t understand (she did understand, but didn’t ‘get it’) why people would spend so much time, effort, and money not being themselves.
She conceded that some might call her a hypocrite because she masked in public and acted differently around different people, and so obviously she wasn’t being ‘authentically herself’ then. But she countered that she was still being genuine. That when she was masking, “I’m still me, just like, a diet me? I’m not claiming to like things I don’t, or not like things I do, to fit in. I’m just quieting some idiosyncrasies that aren’t necessarily ‘socially acceptable.’” Clarifying that she didn’t mean that everyone had to be 100% themselves all the time. That sometimes it was inappropriate or even dangerous to be so, but that it was really sad to see that some people couldn’t even be themselves around the people they’re closest to. That if you can’t be yourself around them, then what’s the point?
She also argued the point that everyone acts a little differently around different people, because different people bring out different sides of you, but they should still be recognizably you.)
“Sorry,” she apologized after, looking somewhat abashed, “I’m a yapper. I’ll just ramble on and on unless someone stops me.”
“I guess it’s a good thing I like listening to you talk,” he responded warmly.
He wasn’t sure what possessed him to say that, but he immediately wanted to take it back. Not because it wasn’t true; no, it was too true, too vulnerable. Too weirdly intimate. He looked back to her, worried that he may have somehow crossed a line in their relationship. Though he could feel her reluctance to accept what he had said, that didn’t stop the blush growing or her from giving him a sweet small smile.
“Charmer,” she archly accused.
He relaxed again. No lines had been crossed.
“Guilty as charged,” he shrugged smugly. Playing up his accent he added, “y’know, it’s just these southern manners, I can’t help it.”
That feeling bubbled up inside of her again. He’d felt it before of course; friendship, camaraderie, fondness. Peter was the first, Alice was the next, that he can really recall. Most of the newborns were terrified of him (rightfully so) and any sort of camaraderie they might have felt was quickly shut down by him. Emmett had been the next. Then a little from Edward and Rosalie. But none of it felt quite like Aušra’s did. Warm, soft and sweet; like a silk-covered down blanket; but it also had this odd edge of protectiveness to it… and fuck if he might be getting a little addicted to it.
———•<•>•———
Dinner was an odd affair. Not bad, just weird.
They were called up for dinner about twenty minutes after Carlisle came home. Edward looked at her funny when she washed her hands before sitting down.
The food itself was delicious. Esme had made lamb chops, a green bean casserole, grilled potatoes, a fresh salad, and there was a made from scratch apple pie currently baking in the oven. Everything was (surprisingly) thoroughly seasoned, but not to the point of excess.
She had expected the others to ‘pretend’ they were eating. How would they pretend? She wasn’t sure (maybe use their speed to slip it under the table or something?) but she had to quickly smother her surprise when she saw them actually eating the food. As they showed no signs of disgust (and based on the fact that everything was so perfectly seasoned), Aušra figured that Esme must’ve used Laar powder. It wouldn’t surprise her at all if they had some, they were certainly rich enough to commission a witch to make it for them.
The conversation wasn’t as stilted and awkward as she expected it to be. Everyone seemed comfortable and relaxed enough that this must be something they do on the regular (though she hoped it happened mostly without the food as that still be a waste). Everyone got the chance to talk about their day and plans for tomorrow. After that, the conversation just flowed wherever they wanted.
“I have to say, that you have a beautiful home.” Aušra commented during a slight lull in talking.
Esme beamed, “thank you! As you probably know, I designed it—“
“No shit.” Aušra interjected in her shock. Jasper’s suppressed snort beside her and Emmett’s barely covered snicker across from her drew her attention to what she had just said. “Oh! Sorry…” she grimaced.
Esme just chucked lightly. “You’re perfectly fine dear, I’m surprised Carlisle hadn’t mentioned it to you already. He seems to like to announce all my accomplishments to anyone he speaks to,” she said turning to Carlisle with a smile full of warmth and teasing.
“Well,” Carlisle started, taking her hand in his and giving it a kiss; completely unaffected by his wife’s ‘censure’, “you have a great many skills and accomplishments; who am I to hide your amazingness from the world? It is my sworn duty to let everyone know how wonderful you are.”
They looked at each other with such love in their gaze that Aušra didn’t need any powers to feel it. Though, seeing such a display of love and devotion sent two bittersweet barbs of grief and loss through her heart.
The first, for her parents, they had loved each other so fully and completely. Not with such outward affection, but so much you could still feel it in the air. Her father had been unable to withstand the grief of her mother’s passing; dying just the day after. And they had loved her in the same way, just as fiercely. Her own death nearly killed them both. She believed the only reason they survived was because they still had each other to lean on.
The second barb was for herself, because she would never have that. Not again. She had had her opportunity before, but that died along with him.
She had found the only person who could love her as she was (broken, defective), and he threw it all away. He had been dumb and reckless and refused to look through the fog of his emotions and heed to logic. He had loved her, she knew that. He was ready to die for her (he did), but she didn’t want that. She needed him more than anything.
She couldn’t even say that she wouldn’t have done the same if their places were reversed. But she would’ve waited; made an actually thought-out plan. Instead of going in half-cocked and blinded by emotion. He had loved her in a way no one had before (or since); in a way that she believed impossible. And he had taken that love with him to the grave.
She quickly broke out of her own thoughts.
Now is Not. The. Time.
Luckily, no actual time had passed. So no one —sans the empath next to her— was privy to the lightning-fast pity-party she had just thrown herself. She pushed the pain and grief to the side, she could deal with it later. (She wouldn’t.)
Jasper’s face was neutral, but the slight lift of his eyebrows betrayed his concern. She ignored it, going back to the topic at hand.
“It is so cool that you designed this place! It has really good proportions and flow,” Aušra complimented. “Also the interior design is lovely.”
“Thank you, I try. I believe Jasper said that he liked the way you’ve decorated your home?” she said shooting him a knowing smile.
Aušra let out a short laugh. “Oh did he?” she replied teasingly, as she turned to him fully.
He was side-eyeing Esme —no doubt trying to display his displeasure with her ‘outing’ him so embarrassingly. He turned to face Aušra again, his ears tinting ever so slightly darker with venom. “I —uh— might’ve said somethin’ of that nature…”
She smiled, amused at his sheepish behavior. “Well, thank you for your high praise,” she teased. Having the feeling that Jasper might spontaneously combust if given anymore attention at the moment, she turned back to Esme. “I can say that my way of interior decorating is much more… uhh, chaotic than yours.”
Esme raised her eyes in (pleasant?) surprise, “How so?”
“I have a more klepto—” she paused, brows furrowing in thought, mumbling to herself, “no, that’s stealing isn’t it? What’s the —eclectic, that’s the word!” she exclaimed . “A more eclectic aesthetic. Lots of trinkets and doodads.”
Esme smiled.
The conversation didn’t stay on interior design for much longer, as Aušra knew practically nothing about it. She let others control the conversation and topics only putting in small comments here or there. Her brain was slowly shutting down from having to socialize the whole day. She was still able to function, just conserving energy.
Some point after dessert was passed out (it was so effing good), she was asked about her plans for break. She told them that her only plans were to relax, and that she had been invited to do a Polar Plunge on the second with Leah and some others. She was met with blank stares. She then had to explain that she —and others— were going to willingly throw themselves into the ocean, swim out to a buoy and then back. Both Alice, Esme, and Carlisle expressed their concern over the cold temperatures. Aušra chuckled, explaining that the freezing temperatures were kind of the whole point of a polar plunge. Rosalie did bring up the good point of ‘why?’. Aušra didn’t have a good answer for that so just shrugged, claiming ‘fun’ and/or ‘bragging rights’. Emmett and Jasper seemed intrigued by the prospect, at least.
She should’ve known that she’d have to ‘defend’ herself against Carlisle’s onslaught of hypothermia concerns (which, to be fair: valid). But It wasn’t as if they were planning on standing on the beach butt-naked, soaking wet afterward. They’d have a change of clothes, blankets, and a fire (as well as heated cars if they wanted), they’d be fine.
———•<•>•———
Emmett had somehow convinced Aušra to stay for a movie night. Jasper wasn’t sure if he was just really persuasive or just belligerent enough. Either way, the result was the same, she was staying.
He should’ve been happy about this. Emmett certainly was. Jasper was happy about it… it’s just—
They’re sitting on the same couch, which was fine. She’d gone through an array of different sitting positions in the past 30 minutes, (the one she’d landed on was sorta on her side, leaning on the arm rest with her legs tucked up beside her). It wasn’t the big couch, and…
She was touching him.
She was touching him.
She. Was. Touching. Him.
He wasn’t even sure that she was aware that they were touching.
It was such a stupid thing to freak out over, it’s just the side of her foot, he knew that. It’s just that… no one touched him so casually. Ever. Whether giving or receiving comfort, wrestling, or something else, it always had a purpose. It was never ‘just 'cause’.
He was being careful to keep his freak out on the down-low. Allowing the movie to take up most of his thoughts, he didn’t need Edward privy to his partial meltdown.
Part of him was saying to move so they wouldn’t be touching; but the other louder and more insistant part, was telling him to keep perfectly still, because if he moved she would surely realize they were touching and that would be the end of it. She had offered him a hug earlier (but was immediately mortified about it). Though the more he thought on it, the more he realized that her mortification/anxieties were more on his behalf?
Her phone rang —well, vibrated, technically — her anxiety spiked for a moment when she read the name, though her face showed no hint of the emotion. Emmett paused the movie as she excused herself to the balcony. The entire household’s attention had snapped to Aušra. (Like the Nazgûl to Frodo whenever he slipped on the Ring.)
Edward snorted derisively.
‘I’ve been on a Tolkien kick lately, so you can fuck right off, Edward.’
She had an odd air of pretense around her when she answered.
“Hey Mike!”
Mike? Newton? From school? What’s he—
A man’s voice responded after a moment or two of silence. He sounded young, but it was hard to tell with the distortion of the phone, but it was decidedly not Mike Newton.
“Hey! I’m calling you like I said I would—”
Some of the tension released from her shoulders when she heard his voice.
“—is now a bad time?”
Aušra chuckled lightheartedly.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“Everything’s good though? No trouble, right?”
“Correct-a-mundo, everything’s a-o-kay, ‘m just at a friend’s house watchin’ a movie. Can you call back later? I still wanna talk.”
“God, I hate when you talk like that…” it was said fondly. “Yeah, sure. Sounds good. Tonight or tomorrow?”
She shrugged, “I wouldn’t do it if you didn’t so adamantly hate it. And your schedule’s crazier than mine so whichever works better for you.”
“Okay, later tonight then, say in like… three hours?”
“Works just fine for me.”
“Talk to you then.”
“Mmhmm! Bye, I love you!”
“Love you, too. Bye.”
Mike was the one to hang up, Aušra spun on her heel and headed back into the house. They all did a decent job at pretending they hadn’t just been eavesdropping.
“Sorry bout that.”
“Who was it?” Edward questioned with fake innocence.
At the same time Jasper asked, “no problem, everythin’ good?”
She paused for a moment, processing the two voices. “It was just an old friend,” she turned to face Jasper more, “and yeah, everything’s fine, we’ll just talk later.”
She plopped herself back down on the couch next to him. Emmett pressed play on the movie. Jasper barely had the time to register the partial disappointment that they were no longer touching, when she started rearranging herself. When she finally settled on a position, she still wasn’t touching him. He was unsure whether he was relieved or bereft at the change. Probably both.
She seemed uncomfortable now —though he could sense no actual discomfort in her. But she was frequently shifting slightly in her seat. There was this buzzing sensation coming from her, a need of some sort that he couldn’t quite place. He was about to straight up ask her when she shifted once more and her knee came into contact with his thigh. The buzzing immediately stopped and her shifting along with it. She didn’t even seem cognizant of it.
Well, he wasn’t going to complain.
Notes:
A/N: btw what Alice was thinking that made Edward groan was, “don’t think about her ass! don’t think about her ass! don’t think about her ass! Oh God! I’m still thinking about her ass! GET IT TOGETHER ALICE! BE RESPECTFUL!”
This was gonna be out on time but I was struck by the Plague (a normal head cold) Monday afternoon and spend basically the next two days in a state of unconsciousness or coughing my way to abs. I’m all better now tho.
There were so many more interactions I wanted to add but this chapter was already too long and I wasn’t going to split it again.
(Tell me why I was trying to spell adamantly and my program offered “adimentqly” as a substitute/solution word, TF??? Like that’s not even a real word??)
Chapter 17: Christmas Time (finally)
Summary:
Aušra has an informative conversation with Misha, makes some gifts and has a good Christmas.
Notes:
A/N:special thanks to EitherAdhesiveness32 and 20061901 on the r/twilight Reddit for helping me with ideas for Rosalie’s present. I was well and truly stumped.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Misha called later as promised, she took the call in the basement (she had a feeling Edward might be tempted to eavesdrop).
«Hello!» Aušra exclaimed.
«‘Mike’? Really?» Misha answered back. The comforting voice she knew, not the strange ‘American Boy’ voice he had put on at the Cullens.
«What? That’s what we agreed on wasn’t it?» she teased.
«I believe we settled on ‘Michael’ but, no matter. You are well, Little Bird?» the concern was obvious in his voice.
«I told you Baba, everything is fine.» she said with a fond smile.
«I know, but where were you that you couldn’t speak freely?»
«Oh, I was at the vampires’ house.»
There was a pause, she could practically hear his eyebrows raising in his surprise but, more importantly, in curiosity.
«Oh?… Are these the ones that Aurelia spoke of?»
She laughed at his casual and uninterested tone, like she didn’t already know he was dying to get any information he could.
«Yes, they are. Ask away, I know you’ve been dying to.»
He chuckled, «you know me far too well, my child. Who is their Coven Parent?»
«That would be ‘Carlisle Cullen’ I don’t know if that’s his original name or not but that’s what he’s going by. He seems nice. They’re all fairly well adjusted adults.»
«Cullen…» he murmured, «that name sounds very familiar, but I can’t quite place it… ah, it is nothing! How many are his?»
It took a second for her to process exactly what he was asking, «oh! uh…» she paused for a moment, «all but two, I believe.»
«So, four? That is a large amount to sire and have stay after the adjustment period. Interesting… Are the other two related?»
«Alice and Jasper? No, they don’t share a sire.»
Misha hummed in thoughtful intrigue. «And would you say Carlisle has good control over them?»
«I would. Mostly anyways.»
«Care to elaborate? »
«Edward, the youngest I believe by biological age, has been…» she paused searching for the word, “stalking? Harassing?” she said in English, «me. I don’t know how much Carlisle is actually aware of the situation. I know he at least has some awareness. But I don’t think he knows the depths of Edward’s misconduct. Based on what I know of him he would likely not allow it.»
Misha hummed in understanding, «why’s this Edward harassing you?»
She huffed a laugh, «oh, it’s because he’s determined to prove that ‘I’m not who I say I am’ or some shit. It started because he couldn’t read my mind, so thank you for that,» she said sincerely, then amended, «well I think what technically set him off was when I allowed him to read one thought, which was just me calling him an ‘idiot’.»
Misha burst into laughter, loud and slightly muffled by his hand. It took him a few moments to regain his composure, «that little? That, as you said, ‘set him off’? What a pathetic baby. How old is he?» he asked condescendingly.
«My best guesses, biologically: 16-18? His actual age: 80-100? So like, either way, an adult.»
Misha scoffed, she could practically feel his eye roll. «what exactly are his offenses against you?»
She quickly went through the list. Misha listened patiently, only adding little huffs or snorts of laughter until she finished.
«I am surprised you have not punished him, Little Bird! He seems in need of some that discipline you are so good at giving!» he archly laughed.
«Oh, but he has had punishments, Baba! Yet he still disobeys! He really is just a petulant toddler.»
«He has? Please tell me of your disciplines.» he asked eagerly.
Aušra smiled, warm and fond. Man, she had really missed Misha. She then cheerfully recounted her subtle paybacks and all the little torments she had inflicted upon Edward in retaliation for his slights against her. (Including the accidental ones). Misha was obviously very entertained with her recounting of events.
«That’s all of them. So he has received recompense for his many follies against me. Both by me and his siblings. Albeit, my discipline has been lighter than usual.»
«I’ll say! You have been very gracious in your reprimands of him. Though, I’m not sure I can say that about you ‘unleashing’ your mind on him, that is not ‘light’,» he said teasingly, then added, «if I didn’t already know you were trying to keep a low profile with them, I would be worried about you; so easily allowing him to encroach on your privacy,» he said, she could hear the scowl in his voice.
«Yes, yes, I know, but there is only so much torment I can inflict without too much suspicion being put on me by the others.»
He hummed in assent, «tell me of them? The others, if you would.»
«Of course.» She went on to give him as much as she could think about the other Cullens(/Hales). Including her odd non-memories of Jasper. «Which leads me back to the reason I reached out in the first place.»
«What?» he exclaimed in faux shock, «you didn’t reach out just because you missed me? I’m wounded!»
She laughed, «well, obviously! Who would suffer your melodrama unless they had a good reason,» she goaded lightly.
He didn’t rise to the bait, «yes, yes we all know of my flair for the dramatics. Now, are you going to ask me your question or not?» he said with an edge of annoyance, but she knew better.
«Ugh, fine… so obviously, I have some blocked memories of Jasper and he has some of me, but how is that possible?»
«How do you have blocked memories?» he clarified with a great amount of confusion and concern.
«What? No?… oh, that is what I asked… no, I meant how is it possible that we still have memories of each other? Well, not memories, but at least a remembrance of each other.»
«Oh okay. Good. For a moment I was both very concerned and disappointed with you if you didn’t know how blocked memories happened.»
Aušra laughed, «I couldn’t blame you for feeling so if I was asking that! After all the time I spent learning, I would feel the same way about myself!»
Misha chuckled, «To your question, for your blocked memories I would say that it was likely just a shittily done job. Someone didn’t really know what they were doing or how to properly get around your mental shield. For his? Well, that depends… if it was someone else I would assume the same thing: a botched job. But, if he’s not missing any timeframes as it seems, then I would say you did it and would not do you the disservice of accusing you of doing it wrong. You are far too studious and meticulous for that.»
«But yet you just accused me of completely forgetting that it could even happen! Very hypocritical.» Aušra archly accused.
She could picture the long-suffering look that most likely graced Misha’s face in the pointed silence that followed her remarks. The heavy sigh that followed turned into a groan near the end. «Now I remember why I kicked you out.»
«Rude. And a lie. If I remember correctly, you tried to convince me to stay each time I moved out.»
He hummed his disbelief, «I don’t remember it as such… but either way, do you or do you not want the rest of my opinion?» he sassed.
She stayed quiet.
«That’s what I thought. Now, as I was saying; that if you did it, I would likely say that his empathic ability messed with the spell. Or more accurately, it was likely not taken into account —probably because you did not know about ‘emotional signatures’ because how could you? So, when erasing your presence from his memories you covered the ‘standard’ bases of sight, sound, smell, etc, but left ‘emotional’.»
«Oh! And because the rest remain locked, he can remember and recognize familiarity, but there’s no other information for him to pull from! That makes so much sense!» she said, the pieces falling into place.
«Exactly,» he responded, his voice colored slightly with pride. «was there anything else you wished to ask?»
«Yes. Say, I wanted to unblock my memories, how would I go about it?»
«Well… without knowing the witch who did the blocking in the first place and having them undo it,» he sighed, then took in a deep breath, «the only other way would be with my Remembrance potion,» he said it slowly, with uncharacteristic hesitance.
«Okay…» she said, lengthening the word in her confusion at his reticence.
«—but!» he raised his voice to better cut off any errant trains of thought, «the thing with that is…» he trailed off again then took another deep breath.
«Yes…?» she asked cautiously, his nerves setting off her own.
He let out a deep sigh of apprehension, «it works on ALL locked memories. You cannot target certain ones with it.»
«Oh.» she said, heart dropping in her chest. She let out a shaky breath, «oh,» she repeated quieter. That explained his reticence.
«Yes, I know…» he said it delicately, with great sympathy.
“Fuck,” she breathed. Staring at the wall in silence. That changed everything.
He allowed her the quiet for a good, long moment before he said, «I will still give it to you. It is you who must decide, is gaining unknown information about this Jasper worth it?»
She let out a humorless, defeated chuckle. “It can never be easy, can it?” she said with no small amount of bitterness.
He joined her with a bitter laugh of his own, “no, no it can’t, Пташка.”
*Little Bird, birdie (pronounced p-tashka)*
After more silence she laughed again, this time with a bit more cheer but not much. “Well that totally killed the vibe…”
“Yes. Yes, it did. I’m sorry.”
«Why? It’s not your fault my life sucks.»
He let out a sharp laugh, «please, we know that’s not entirely true.»
She shrugged, «I mean, I chose to be there.» She let out another sigh.
She could feel Misha’s disagreement through the silence. «You going to be okay?»
«Oh, yeah I’m— I’ll be alright. I’m just put out.»
«Okay, did you need anything else from me? I’ll transcribe that potion recipe for you and send it over, in the case you want it.»
«That’s all I need. Thank you, Baba.»
«Of course, my love. Reach out if you need anything. Or even if you don’t. I miss hearing from you. I worry, you know?»
«I will, I love you. Bye.»
«Goodbye. I love you too.»
Aušra hung up and laid down fully sprawled out on the floor.
Well, there went any real chance of her getting any memories of Jasper back. She was nowhere near desperate enough to even consider it at this point. There were certain things in her past that had been (graciously) buried by Misha. Things that she did not want dredged up. Some things deserved to stay buried.
She knew what they were, and not just from him telling her. Misha was a savant of mind spells. A true innovator. Most (all but his) memory block spells work on the entire thing. Leaving an empty space its place. Like ripping out pages from a book. You could always tape them back in, but otherwise, the information was just gone. More skilled users could make it less obvious that something was ‘taken’; but there would still be a hole or gap left. But Misha had figured out (and then taught her) how to select which parts of a specific memory to block. He could block just the information he wanted in memories, while leaving the rest intact. More like redacting a confidential file. Except, unlike with a redacted confidential file, where often you can see that something has been redacted so you know information is missing; Misha left no traces. Unless he wanted to.
He had learned this technique while she had known him. Well, refined more like, because he had created it before they knew each other, but had really developed and perfected it while they were together.
The memory of her death— the first one anyways— had been the first where he tried to just take away the major sensations, blur the edges of the pain. They say that you can’t remember pain, Aušra knows first hand that that’s bullshit. At least for witches that is. Before Misha, she could remember the pain so clearly, feel the heat so vividly—
She shuddered at just the remembrance of the remembrance.
So yeah, those memories were best left behind and buried.
———•<•>•———
Aušra spent Tuesday making Christmas gifts for the rest of the Cullens. (It was originally just going to be Jasper and Alice who got gifts, but then she and Emmett had been talking about monster movies in school, and he mentioned one he was missing from his collection that she had in hers. And she was going to leave it at them, but then she had been invited over, so she wanted to give Carlisle and Esme something as thanks, and, you know, if she was doing all that, she might as well do them all).
Once the shops in Port Angeles were open, she took a short break and went to the butchers and a hardware supply shop for the more niche hardware she’d need for their gifts.
Carlisle and Esme’s gift had been surprisingly easy to figure out. They built and painted model buildings and stuff together (weird and adorable) and she had seen their set up. They used the same style paints as she did for figurine miniature painting, so she made them a paint ‘Ferris Wheel’. (She had one of her own and it was very convenient.)
Edward’s gift had also been very easy. When she had come upstairs for dinner, she saw his shitty music stand and decided to make him a new one. (Okay, it was a perfectly serviceable music stand, but it kinda looked like he had stolen it from a school. She was almost positive that he hadn’t —stolen it, that is— but it was just so plain. So cheap-looking.
(Aušra knew about cheap. Cheap was fine. Cheap didn’t mean bad. Hell, a lot of her stuff was ‘cheap’. But it just looked so off in their house, and with his (pretty expensive) nice violin and bow. Also, she really couldn’t think of much else.)
Rosalie? Rosalie’s was hard. Aušra wasn’t sure what she would like, let alone want. She thought about it as she worked on the others’. Finally, after what felt like eons of wracking her brain, she came up with something. It was simple, she wasn’t sure if Rosalie would actually use it, but it was the thought and effort that counted. Right? It was wooden toolbox. Not a ‘complete’ one, something that was fully ‘decked out’ or anything like that. It was small, just meant to hold a handful of tools being used frequently during a project. Aušra was sure Rosalie probably had plenty of others, but this one would at least help deaden the sound of metal tools clanking. (She also added a magnet on the bottom of one side to keep nuts and bolts in place.)
Once all the presents were done and in the various stages of the finish drying, Aušra looked back at Rosalie’s present. It was sort of lacking , compared to the others. She dug around in her hardwood scraps and came up with something that would be perfect as a plaque. She cut it to size, routed a nice border onto the edge, then got to work on stenciling out the design. She carved out the letters before turning in for the night.
The next morning she wood burned the design as well as the insides of the letters to add contrast. It read, ‘Rosalie’s Garage’ straight across the top; underneath it read: ‘I can fix anything but stupid’. The smaller text gently arched over the design underneath, a rose crossed with a wrench.
The work wasn’t her best, considering the time constraints she did it in. But, the letters were even and consistent. The design simple, but, most importantly readable —up close as well as from a distance. She would’ve preferred to carve out the design, but again, limited timeframe. All in all, she was happy with it.
———•<•>•———
The rest of Christmas Eve was spent throwing up at least a few decorations. She typically did it a week or two before Christmas, but as her schedule had been hell, she hadn’t had the time. It didn’t matter too much, she was planning on spending Christmas alone anyways (well Tamsus would be there, but he didn’t count, not really).
Once she had the artificial tree up and decorated, and a few fake garlands strung about, she decided that it was good enough and plopped herself down on the couch for some much needed rest. She hadn’t actually relaxed since before Paul’s project. She was supposed to on Saturday, but that had been taken up by hanging out with Leah (which yes, spending time with a friend could be considered a relaxing activity, but it wasn’t the same as being alone). And then she had to do a major grocery trip.
Sunday, she had wanted to do absolutely nothing. Just sit down and see if it was scientifically possible for a human to molecularly fuse with their couch. But, it had been two whole weeks since she last did any type of cleaning and her house was a mess. There were crumbs on the kitchen floor which was driving her to insanity (the sensation of stepping on crumbs/debris made her want to scrub the skin off her feet. So she had taken to wearing socks inside, which she also disliked, but ‘lesser of two evils’ and all that).
She had been planning on just sweeping. To leave anything and everything else for the rest of the week. But, as she got ready to sweep and mop, (gathering the cleaning supplies, and the most important cleaning supply: her mp3 player) she noticed the counters also needed cleaning, and it was pointless to clean the floors with crumbs and shit all over the countertops. So, she sprayed and wiped them down first. Then scraped the burnt gunk off her electric stovetop and ‘polished’ it with cleaner.
And when she threw the rags into the washer, it reminded her that laundry desperately needed to be done, as she had basically no clean underwear left. So, she side tracked to grab her laundry so she could at least start it. She stripped her bed linens while she was at it. Then redressed her bed, actually fully making it for the first time in weeks.
She gathered up all the laundry in her room, and brought it downstairs (as well as an extra empty basket and empty hangers). She then set about gathering the random bits of laundry that were scattered about the rest of her home.
She went into her crafting room to see if she had any fabrics she wanted to pre-shrink, which she did. But, the room was also a mess. (Multiple projects in various states of completion (more like incompletion) strewn about with no particular rhyme and even less reason. Yarn stock piles and knitting needles in disarray). Just looking at it was spiking her anxiety. So, she went about organizing. Piling up pieces according to project and current state.
Halfway through organizing, she remembered her original purpose of being in the craft room and grabbed the fabric she wanted to pre-shrink and brought it to the laundry room. She switched the load, throwing in another batch of clothes.
On her way back to the craft room she happened a glance at the sink. She scowled at the pile of dishes, as if she could intimidate them into not being there anymore.
We ought to do a load so they can be washing while we do other things. The practical side of her brain commented. Her scowl deepened comically, because she really didn’t want to do dishes. She didn’t win out in the end.
Groaning, she detoured to the sink. Thankfully, her past self had had the energy/foresight to rinse them before putting them in the sink; so, at least they didn’t smell… small blessings. Once a load was running, she went around the house collecting the few spare cups or bowls she had left about. Now that those were in the sink, she went back to the craft room.
She continued her tidying up. Her hot iron had some schmutz on the bottom so she cleaned it before she could forget about it and then accidentally fuck up a project (it’d be easy enough to fix with magic, but why go through the effort if you could just solve the issue before it became a problem?). Also while in the craft room, she noticed the printer was out of paper, so refilled it.
Aušra used a spell to gather up all the tiny scraps of fabric and cut threads that were scattered across the floor.
You were supposed to sweep the kitchen, dumbass.
Goddammit. She went back to the kitchen, and noticed the dishwasher was done so opened it to allow the steam to dissipate. The dryer buzzed —signaling the end of its cycle— so, she went to swap the loads. She was so very tempted to just put the clean stuff into a basket for later. Just promising to herself that she would do it later… but she knew —beyond a shadow of a doubt— that if she didn’t take care of them right then, they would sit in the basket for all of eternity. She groaned, hating that she knew herself so well. She huffily threw the clean clothes into a basket, switching the contents of the washer over to the dryer and started the last wash.
She begrudgingly brought the hangers and clean clothes into the living room. Ugh, she needed to vacuum the carpet…
She put down the laundry basket. Not feeling like going to grab the vacuum, she started the long-since memorized spell. Once the —frankly, gross amount of— hair (dog and human), dirt, dust, loose fibers, and whatever else had found itself trapped, were pulled from the carpet and deposited into the trashcan, she got to work on the load of laundry.
Dumping it out on the floor, she used magic to separate out the fold-ables (plus the things that just got thrown into the dresser willy-nilly) and the things that got hung up. Socks were paired easily. (She only bought the exact same sock. She didn’t care if they were mixed and matched by color. They just needed to feel the same on her feet). Underwear just got grouped together by style. Shirts and pants were hung up and sorted by ‘work’ and ‘not work’. Once that was done, everything stayed in their piles in the living room. She was only willing to take her laundry up all at once.
She emptied and refilled the dishwasher.
And finally, after literal hours, Aušra had gotten around to sweeping the kitchen. (She also dusted magically while she was at it).
So, yeah, any small relaxation that might’ve happened on Sunday was completely cancelled out by the cleaning frenzy she had pulled herself into.
So, her Christmas Eve was spent perfectly; by doing absolutely nothing.
———•<•>•———
On Christmas, Aušra had resolved to not answer the phone. She did not want a replay of Thanksgiving. (However delightful it had been, she wanted to be left blissfully alone). If it was an emergency, they’d leave a message.
Her and Tamsus opened presents around noon. His were mostly from her, though he did receive a mildly enchanted toy from Aurelia. She received two from herself (some really nice tools she had been wanting and a pretty silk brocade she’d been eyeing for that past few months), one from Tamsus (she had bought them, but at his request; matching tie-dye dragon hoodies for them both.)
Misha sent her some really old spell books on runes that she had been dying to get ahold of since she found out they were in his possession. She sent him a new offensive rune she had been working on, for him to test. And a new knit hat with matching mittens.
Aurelia had given her some rarer magical components as well as an antique ruby necklace whose jewels had supposedly been colored with the blood of a Saint. (Aurelia said that she doubted that it was actually a Saint’s blood, but knew Aušra’s fascination with macabre jewelry.)
Aušra happily danced and jumped around her kitchen cooking. Singing along loudly to her music (just her usual mix, no Christmas songs). Her music was blasting from multiple speakers, hair absolutely wild (she had allowed it to air dry loose, rather than in the typical ponytail). She was making a traditional soup that she’d been craving. The butcher in Port Angeles had been more than helpful with helping her acquire the more… bizarre ingredient it required.
She wasn’t trying to turn into a human puddle, but she was relaxing. Letting loose. Allowing herself a reprieve from the chaos and mental misery of the past months.
———•<•>•———
Jasper fiddled with the cuff on his shirt. He was nervous. Which, to be fair, was a common occurrence with anything that involved Aušra.
Esme had made an inordinate amount of Christmas cookies. Which she was personally taking to all of her and Carlisle’s coworkers. He, however, had been tasked with taking a batch to Aušra. He had tried calling to see if she’d even be home, but she didn’t pick up. Esme said that worst came to worst he could leave them on her front porch. Emmett had volunteered himself to come along (which Jasper was grateful for; Emmett had the strength to hold him back if anything happened). (He didn’t think anything would happen, but he was thankful for the additional safety net). Edward tagged along because of nosiness, though he claimed otherwise.
So, there they were, in Emmett’s Jeep, making their way to Aušra’s house.
They could hear the music before they even reached the driveway. She was singing along. She had a nice voice. Not necessarily ‘pretty’ per se. Nothing groundbreaking, but it was clear and strong. She could hold a tune very well, even Edward couldn’t complain. (He had been able to feel Edward’s surprise and disbelief when he had first heard her voice months ago.)
“Man,” Emmett said, breaking the silence of the entire drive up to that point, “she has a great taste in music.”
Jasper hummed in agreement. Edward’s distaste leaked out of him like poison gas.
Jasper huffed, then turned in his seat to face Edward in the back, “now, listen here, Edward,” he said the name sharp, like a knife, “you will be on your best behavior tonight. Got it?”
Edward gave him a petulant look; Jasper could feel his retort coming a mile away so he cut him off before he could even start, “no. Nuh-uh, Edward. You chose to come with us. So you are not allowed to try and negotiate any terms or whatever the hell you were about to do.” Jasper started coating him with his ‘I mean business, you will take me seriously’ mix, “you will be on your best behavior. And you will refrain from any of your weird behaviors towards Aušra. You will leave any and all of your negative energy towards her in the car. If you don’t; if you are rude or mean or creepy —if you so much as even look at her funny— so help me, Edward, I will tear your head from your body, take them to different places in the woods and leave you to find your own way back together. Do I make myself clear?”
Edward’s mouth drew into a thin line. His understanding and agreement were obvious in his emotions, but he was still stubbornly not talking, trying to keep some sort of pride in the situation. That would not do, Jasper let an oppressive wave of intimidation wash over the car. Staring Edward down like he was prey. He watched him start to squirm in his seat.
“I said, ‘did I make myself clear?’ Don’t make me ask again, boy,” Jasper bit out, his words tightening around Edward like a snake.
He let out a strangled, “yes.”
Immediately after his submission, Jasper reeled everything back in, “good. Now, if you don’t think you can manage to be polite, I suggest you get out now and go home.” His tone had completely reverted back to normal, with only the vaguest whisper of a threat.
“I’ll be fine,” Edward bit back, still upset.
Jasper eyed him appraisingly, then turned back around in his seat saying nothing. They were pulling onto the gravel road that was her driveway.
“Well, at least we know she’s home!” Emmett laughed, trying to ease some of the tension.
Jasper didn’t respond, he needed to relax. He had probably gone a little too hard with Edward (he would never admit it), but he was getting tired of his pissy attitude. He was not going to invite himself over, to then just be a dick to her.
He reached out to better feel Aušra. Allowing himself to be swept up and lost (as much as he could) in the outpouring of her felicity and cheer. By the time they reached her house and parked he was feeling more settled.
Tamsus ran up close to their car, tail slapping the ground as he sat patiently. Emmett stepped out first, soon followed by Jasper. Emmett hunched a little, stretching his arm out towards the dog, Tamsus took the cue and pranced up. His tail was spinning like a helicopter blade, he sat immediately at Emmett’s feet. After a few seconds of pets, he trotted happily over to Jasper, repeating the behavior.
Jasper quirked an eyebrow at Tamsus. It still was a bit unnerving just how friendly the dog was towards them. He slowly extended out his hand (unnecessarily cautious), Tamsus took one look at it and immediately started using it to pet himself. Jasper didn’t even have to move his hand, Tamsus just kept spinning in circles under it. He let out a small chuckle.
As soon as Edward stepped out of the car though, the dog’s whole demeanor changed drastically. His tail stopped wagging and went straight back. His body stiffened, head raised, ears fully erect and forward. Edward paused, then took a small step forward. Tamsus didn’t backdown. He moved in front of Jasper, placing himself between the vampires. As if he was trying to protect Jasper from Edward.
That’s a first…
Tamsus let out a low growl from deep in his chest. Edward seemed to understand that he probably shouldn’t move.
“Tamsus, buddy, it’s okay, he’s not gonna hurt you.” Emmett said soothingly, apparently trying to talk the dog down.
Tamsus’s eyes flicked over to Emmett for a second at the mention of his name, but they quickly returned by back to Edward.
Emmett walked over to Jasper and the dog and started slowly stroking Tamsus down his back. Repeatedly saying things like “it’s okay,” or “you’re okay,” or occasionally something along the lines of, “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but he’s actually a pretty decent dude.” (That last one —strangely enough— seemed to work, at least somewhat.)
Jasper (not one to do nothing), aided Emmett in his endeavor by coating Edward in a fog of harmlessness and disinterest. He didn’t know if it would actually work with Tamsus being an animal, but it was worth a shot.
After probably thirty seconds of their attempts to placate him, Tamsus still seemed highly wary of Edward, but no longer openly hostile.
The three vampires exchanged perplexed looks with each other. After an awkward moment of silence, Emmett stood up from his crouch and clapped his hands together, “welp… I guess we should continue on our mission.”
They all silently agreed, and started towards the house. Tamsus would growl when Edward would get too close, but otherwise let him be.
They knocked on the door. Edward had to stay on the bottom step of the porch, and even then, Tamsus looked peeved about his proximity. (It was odd how readable his body language was). They waited, she didn’t answer, so they knocked again this time louder. Still no response. Which, wasn’t too surprising considering the volume of the music. Emmett rang the door bell. There was small spike of awareness then mild confusion in Aušra.
Emmett looked between Jasper and Edward in a silent question of, ‘what should we do now?’
“Ring the doorbell again, that almost caught her attention last time.” Jasper answered. He started pushing more awareness into her. Her confusion grew slightly, then a vague sense of understanding joined it. The awareness slipped into her.
Emmett rang the doorbell again as instructed. She stopped moving inside briefly before the music was turned down. Tamsus barked once at the door.
After a few moments of shuffling noises, the deadbolt clicked, and the door swung open.
———•<•>•———
Aušra opened the door to find (she already knew who it was) Jasper, Emmett, and Edward standing on her porch. Well, Edward was on the bottom step, but, same thing. Emmett had the biggest smile on his face, Jasper had a subtle but awkward smile, and Edward just looked downright uncomfortable.
“Uhh…” She looked down at Tamsus, who was radiating mischief.
‘What the hell, dude. Could’ve given me more of a heads up or something.’
He responded with the mental equivalent of a shrug. Then padded inside, coming to rest beside her.
‘Ass.’
He still didn’t respond. The vampires hadn’t said or done anything either.
“Um, hey… What’re y’all doing here?”
“We brought you cookies!” Emmett announced cheerfully. Holding out a tupperware container.
She gingerly took it from him. Looking at it in slight confusion.
“Esme made a ton, and wanted you to have some.” Jasper explained.
“Oh, uh… thanks,” she said as she put the cookies down on the side table next to the door. “That’s really nice.”
It was really nice. And very unexpected. She hadn’t planned on having any social interactions today and her brain was scrambling to boot up.
“…Oh! Actually I have something for y’all!” She stood to the side and gestured for them to come in.
They hesitated a moment before Jasper and Emmett somewhat awkwardly shuffled inside. Edward walked up the steps but paused on the porch. He eyed the house warily, like it was a rickety, old, rope bridge across a gorge.
Tamsus’s mischievous attitude must’ve rubbed off on her, because she quickly quipped, “what’re you, a vampire or somethin’? D’ya need express permission to come in?” she giggled twice, putting on a haughty voice, “please, I grant thee entry to my humble abode!” She bowed over-dramatically while doing the same sweeping gesture with her arm. She laughed again, turning from the door to the other vampires.
Emmett busted out laughing. A shocked expression flashed across Jasper’s face but was quickly replaced by a bemused smile. She didn’t care to look back to Edward. She heard him step inside and saw in her peripheries, him step out of the way of the door. She bumped it closed with her hip.
“What’s that smell?” Emmett asked. Jasper’s head whipped towards his brother.
Aušra crinkled her brow in confusion.
Smell?
Her eyes went wide, “my soup!” she exclaimed before running back to the kitchen. She shut off the burner and took the pot off the stove. She stirred it a bit. Letting out a deep breath.
No clots. Good, it’s not ruined.
She went back to the vampires who were just staring at her confused.
Again, Emmett was the first to speak up, “what kind of soup smells like that?” he asked. There was a little judgment in his voice, but it was mostly curiosity.
“Oh, uh…” she blushed, looking between the three. Jasper had a similar look on his face as he did Monday when Esme had embarrassed him at the dinner table. Seeing that made her feel a bit less embarrassed and filled her sympathetic mirth, “it’s a traditional Lithuanian soup, juka. It’s, uh, blood soup…”
Before anyone could say anything about it she said, “wait here while I go grab the things.” She vaulted up the stairs two at a time.
———•<•>•———
The second Aušra was out of earshot Edward spoke up.
“What the hell was that?? First calling me a vampire and then ‘blood soup’???” he hissed, panic and paranoia spewing out of him like a defective sprinkler.
“Calm down dude, the vampire thing was clearly a joke,” Emmett dismissed, turning to Jasper he said, “right?”
Edward looked over to Jasper with borderline desperation.
“It was just a joke, there was nothing in her emotions that would indicate to me that she meant it seriously.”
Edward scoffed in disbelief, “what about the soup!? Blood in soup?? You can’t tell me that’s not suspicious!” he whisper-yelled.
Jasper shrugged, “I don’t know! She said it’s a cultural thing, just shut up about it! Don’t be xenophobic! Unless… You need to go back out to the car?”
“No,” he pouted.
“Good, then get ahold of yourself.”
Jasper then realized that Emmett had wandered off to the living room, “Emmett, what d’ya think you’re doing??”
“What? I’m looking around,” he said innocently.
“It is rude to snoop.” Jasper quietly exclaimed.
“I know that! But is it really snooping if everything is out in the open?”
“Yes!” Jasper responded adamantly.
“Hey—” Aušra called.
Jasper spun around, immediately ready to apologize for his brothers’ behavior (Edward had joined Emmett in his snooping), but she wasn’t anywhere in sight.
“—Tamsus, could ya come up here and help me?” she finished.
Said dog got off the couch and trotted his way upstairs.
Jasper turned back to his brothers, “Emmett! Stop touching things!”
Emmett released the ornament he had been handling. “It’s made of straw!”
“And? That doesn’t give you permission to touch it!”
When they heard Aušra making her way to the stairs, they both sped back to where Jasper was standing (closer to the entrance of the living room).
Aušra descended the stairs in her oddly rhythmic way of two steps rapidly, then a beat before repeating. She had a rather oddly shaped wrapped package in her arms. Tamsus walked down behind her with a ‘Happy Birthday!’ gift bag dangling from his mouth.
“Oookieee-dokie, I was planning on bringing these on Saturday to the movie night, but since y’all’re already here I’m making it easy on myself.”
She put the large present onto the couch and took the bag from Tamsus. Then pulled out two wrapped gifts from the bag, folding it up and putting it next to the present on the couch.
“This one is for you, and this one is for you!” she said, handing the gifts to Emmett and Jasper respectively.
The packages were around the same size and similar flattened rectangular-cube shape.
“Go on, open them,” she urged. Her nerves were slowly growing around her excitement.
Emmett opened his first, tearing at the wrapping paper. It was a dvd case. His excited disbelief was smothering.
“Destroy All Monsters?? No fucking way!! This is like impossible to find! How’d you get your hands on a copy??” Emmett burst out.
Aušra grinned, her self satisfaction growing immensely with Emmett’s praise.
“I found it at a flea market in a bargain bin a couple of years ago, crazy right?”
“Wait… this is from your personal collection? I can’t take it from you!”
“First off, it’s a gift. So, you’re not taking, I’m giving,” she said waving her hand, dismissing the notion, “and secondly, I already burned myself a copy,” she said conspiratorially.
Edward was fighting himself internally, debating whether or not to speak up. “So you pirated it?” he said with a (falsely) elevated sense of righteousness.
Jasper was about to reprimand him when Aušra shot back, “I guess…? And…?” She looked at him perplexed.
“That’s illegal—”
“Bold of you to assume I care about the law,” she cut him off archly. She was only half joking/lying about it. “Anyways, they’re not selling it anywhere, or else I would just buy myself another copy. And it’s just for personal use.”
Edward had nothing to say to that. His brain had seemed to stop when she mentioned ‘not caring about the law.’
Emmett on the other hand, didn’t care and was still buzzing with intense excitement.
“Your turn now Jasper,” Aušra said, her anxiety and eager anticipation shot up as he looked back down at the gift in his hands.
She was doing a slight bouncing, rocking motion as he started to unwrap it, chewing on her bottom lip.
It was, what looked to be at least, a hand-bound leather book. He looked at it curiously, running his hand over the cover.
Aušra’s nerves only grew with his silence, “it’s a book about constellations. It has a ton of different constellations and the stories attached to them from different cultures around the world, cause you like stargazing and said anthropology interested you…”
Jasper opened it and started flipping through the pages as she continued. It was typed, with some hand drawn illustrations every couple of pages. She was talking about how hard it was to find proper resources for the stories, and how some of them were actually stories that her and her parents made up. She always felt a little self-conscious after she rambled, but he honestly really liked listening to her when she rambled. She seemed less reserved. Not that she was particularly reserved in the first place, but she seemed to filter herself less.
He looked up at her. (Perplexingly) Something in his face seemed to soothe the anxiety that was growing like thorny vines inside her. She let out a controlled, shaky breath, and gave him a small smile, which he returned.
“I love it, thank you,” he said earnestly. Her smile grew as the anxiety inside her retreated and was replaced with joyful relief, “did you bind it yourself?”
She let out a quick laugh, “no, I’m not that talented. I sent it to a friend.”
She turned to the gift on the couch, “this one’s Alice’s. It’s an inkle loom; it’s meant for tablet weaving. I’ll show her how to set it up on Saturday.”
Something was building up inside Edward; the tell-tale signs of some snarky remark.
‘Remember your promise, Edward.’ Jasper thought, while he focused and sent his brother an image of his head being ripped off.
Edward’s jaw tightened; lips drawing tight as he suppressed a sneer. His eyes narrowed at Jasper, his displeasure clear as day.
“The rest of the gifts are in the garage,” Aušra said, ignorant of the silent spat happening between the brothers.
“‘The rest’?” Edward questioned, his voice still a bit tight.
“Yeah. Yours, Rosalie’s, Carlisle’s and Esme’s,” Aušra replied as if it was obvious.
Edward’s mouth hung open. Well, his lips parted, but it might’ve as well been a full-on gape with the amount of confused surprise that was coursing through him. Jasper was honestly surprised he was still standing with how off-kilter he was feeling.
She started walking towards the kitchen then stopped, looking over her shoulder at them, “come on.”
She unlocked the garage. Despite the colder temperatures outside, the shop was surprisingly warm. Aušra confidently walked the five or so feet in the pitch black to the light switch. She didn’t even grope around in the dark for it, her hand just immediately found it.
When the lights turned on discomfort battered Jasper from all sides as the bright lights assaulted everyone’s eyes.
“Yeah sorry, I know they’re bright,” Aušra apologized, squinting.
She started walking to the back corner, “they’re not wrapped, I was going to, but I hadn’t gotten around to it yet.”
She opened a door to another room and almost immediately they were accosted by the stink of chemicals. It wasn’t horrible, but definitely present.
They stood out side the door, to what was now obviously a small paint booth. She came out backwards first, clearly carrying something, but using her body to hide it from them.
“This is for you, Edward,” she said, turning around to reveal a wooden music stand.
Edward just looked at it in confused awe. It had three swooping legs with a simple but elegant silhouette with small balled feet; the column was similarly done. The place for the sheet music looked to have been a slab that had a good deal of the interior cut out; leaving the inside to look sort of like a violin in abstract.
Aušra pretended not to notice and continued talking to cover for Edward’s awkwardness. “I saw the one you were using on Monday, and thought it looked really out of place with your nice violin, so… yeah. It’s adjustable, going low enough for sitting or high enough for standing, by the way.” She smiled at him. (Jasper could tell that it wasn’t a true smile. That she was putting it on to try and be friendly, but didn’t think about it, not wanting Edward to know that.)
She pulled out three other gifts. One for Carlisle and Esme and two were for Rosalie.
“I honestly had no clue what to do for Rosalie, so I really hope she likes them,” she said it almost like a question to Emmett. Obviously looking for his approval or opinion on the matter.
“I’m sure she’ll love them! A wooden toolbox to help with the clanking is really thoughtful! It’ll certainly help me at least!” he laughed. “And it means I can spend more time in the garage without going crazy, which she may or may not thank you for!” he said in a joking manner.
“Well, I hope she does like them, and doesn’t hate me for you bothering her more,” Aušra responded, matching Emmett’s playful tone. “I think it’d be quite terrifying to be on her bad side.”
Emmett laughed, shooting an almost imperceptible glance at Edward, “oh! You have no idea!”
As they were bringing the gifts back to the car, Emmett asked, “would it be too weird to ask to try some of that blood soup?”
Edward’s anxiety spiked as he turned to look at Emmett in disbelief.
Aušra was also looking at Emmett in disbelief, but hers was more ‘trying to figure out if he’s being serious’. After a few semi-tense moments of silence, she seemed to come to a conclusion, “I mean, if you really want to…”
“Yes!” Emmett fist pumped.
“What about you two?” she asked looking between Jasper and Edward.
“Can’t say I’m not curious…” Jasper said after a few moments of contemplation.
The feeling of betrayal he got from Edward was so intense you’d think he was Julius Caesar seeing that Brutus was among the throng of his assassins. Drama queen.
She looked at Edward for his answer. Jasper could feel the impulsive out rage inside E dward. He shot him a warning. Edward glanced over at him briefly, before swallowing down whatever it was he was about to say. “No thanks. I’m going to wait in the car.” he said with the barest modicum of civility he could manage, before getting into the back seat.
They loaded the presents into the back, with Aušra running inside to get Alice’s. Then the three of them returned inside.
“It needs to reheat a bit, but that should only take a few minutes.” she said as she left the kitchen, ushering them into the living room.
They sat in a bit of an awkward silence for a moment, no one really knowing what to talk about.
“Those are new, right?” Jasper said, gesturing to the bell jars on the mantle piece.
Aušra’s brow crinkled as she followed his hand towards the pieces. “Hmm?… oh, those!” she said standing up from the couch and grabbing one. “Yeah they’re new. Ish. I got them at a flea market mid November. Aren’t they great?”
They were small taxidermy displays with scenery. The one she was holding was a duckling on a small rock surrounded by flowers. There were two butterflies as well, a small one on a flower and a larger one that looked to have just landed on the duckling’s nose. The one still on the mantle was more… whimsical. It had a small taxidermy rat that was standing on its back legs under a large sculpted mushroom. It was dressed like a fantasy traveling merchant of some sort, with a large backpack that had multiple tiny bottles and oddities hanging from it. It had a staff that was propped up on the side of its neck, while both ‘hands’ were holding open a map. There were hanging clear beads and some clear droplets on the jar itself giving the impression of rain.
“They’re very interesting,” he responded honestly. Then, realizing that sounded sorta like an underhanded insult he amended, “they’re very artistic.”
Shit, that sounded the same!
She giggled, “I know! They’re so weird— I love them!” She put the one in her hands back onto the mantlepiece. Then she opened the furnace and threw in a new log.
“Soup should be ready by now,” she said after closing the furnace.
She ladled out three bowls hers had the most with theirs only having a little.
Before they even picked up the bowls she said, somewhat nervously, “listen, I know it’s a weird soup, you don’t have to like it, okay? If you don’t want to finish it, no judgment, no hurt feelings.”
They both nodded. He sent her a quick burst of reassurance.
The soup was odd… but probably not for the reasons she thought. It still tasted of ash (that’d be the chunks of pork and the pork fat broth), though not as much as much as expected. He could taste the blood obviously, but he could also taste the spices she used? Thyme was the major one, it didn’t taste quite right, but still recognizable (the ‘off-ness’ of the taste could be chalked up to misremembering what thyme tasted like, it had been over 140 years since he’d last tasted any). He looked over at Emmett, who seemed to be having similar thoughts as himself —if the odd amalgamation of emotions radiating off him were any indication.
Emmett looked back, giving Jasper a look of surprised contentment, physically portraying the ‘not bad!’ his emotions were saying.
Aušra had taken a bite herself, though her response was vastly different than theirs. He felt the tell-tale comfort and longing of nostalgia that wrapped around her, seemingly soothing a long-since healed sting of hurt in her chest. She let out gravely hum in pleasure. Her shoulders started slightly shimmying in her satisfaction.
“God, it’s been so long!” she exclaimed around a partially full mouth of food (she used her hand to cover her mouth as she said it).
“Why?” Emmett asked before taking another bite.
“Hard to get your hands on fresh enough pigs blood,” she responded, shrugging. “Guess they don’t want anyone pulling a Carrie,” she joked.
———•<•>•———
True to her word, Aušra showed Alice how to set up her new inkle loom. She received thanks from the rest for their presents as well.
Alice got her like ten skeins of authentic cashmere yarn and at least five pounds of silk threads. Which was insane and Aušra couldn’t imagine how expensive that had been.
She nearly cried at Jasper’s present for her. It was a painting (that he did) of Sartai Lake during sunset. She wasn’t sure how he’d done it (likely it was just some freaky coincidence), but he had painted a spot that she and her family had gone to frequently. It had taken her at least two minutes to get ahold of herself after the waterworks started. She had just barely had the restraint to not tackle and crush him in a hug.
Aušra must’ve spent at least four more days of winter break at the Cullens’ house. They watched movies or played games. At Emmett’s request she ran a short little d&d one shot for them (he played a human werebear druid; which, for some reason the others found amusing). Edward almost always had an excuse reason to not hang out with the rest of them.
The polar plunge was really fun. Aušra met some other older teens on La Push as well as Leah’s cousin Emily (who seemed really sweet). The ocean was perfectly freezing as it should be. There was a large bond fire on the beach after. It was nice.
Aušra and Jasper ended up getting an 97 on the biology project. Final exams were the week after so every class was just review. So, she spent that week —for the most part— very bored.
Her depression was still there, but had faded a significant amount. It’d likely be gone by the end of January; maybe the second week of February at the latest.
The potion recipe Misha had sent was haunting her. Always looming like a spectre in the back of her mind —taunting her almost. The sweet enticement of knowing more, versus the agony of remembering everything. (She despises not knowing. Knowledge was power, and power was safety. And lord knew she needed as much safety as she could grasp with how many enemies she’d made in her lifetime…(most of them were dead now, but still, there are many who would jump at the opportunity to hurt her)). But… unless circumstances changed (drastically), she’d just have to —unfortunately— be content with not knowing.
Notes:
A/N:Also that cleaning scene is exactly how I end up cleaning with ADHD. Funnily enough it wasn’t really supposed to be there! It was just meant to be a vague “she cleaned” type ish. A paragraph or two at the most. But once I started writing it sorta, uh…snowballed. *deep sigh* The irony of this is not lost on me… (which is one of the reasons I decided to keep in in.)
I believe that Alice is a great gift giver because of her gift, but since she can’t use it directly on Aušra she’s sorta shooting in the dark.
this is what Edward’s music stand looks like btw
Chapter 18: Ch-Ch-Changes
Notes:
A/N: A song mentioned in this chapter (“Rivers is a Vampire” - very funny song btw. Best described as ‘the “Hello fellow kids” meme but make it vampires) references current ‘technology’ (livestreams, tinder) we’re gonna pretend that it doesn’t. Okay? Good. Another one actually references Edward specifically (“Bunch of Draclias (And They’re All Playing Flute)”) with the lyrics “I suck deep just call me Eddy-C” and we’re gonna pretend that they’re talking about someone else lol. Got it? Good.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Finals were over. Aušra did great, which was to be expected. Classes switched. She wasn’t sure if she should be surprised, but she had two classes with Jasper (math and gym (which also included Emmett and Rosalie)). It was a small(ish) school, so it wasn’t implausible; but…
She guessed it didn’t matter how it happened, it was the same result either way, she got to spend more time with him. Which wasn’t really necessary, considering she was going over to his house two to three times a week. Which was crazy. At least, it was to her.
The Cullens went from very pointedly avoiding hanging out with her in private to inviting her over to their house multiple times a week! Like…what the hell? She’d usually be suspicious of such an abrupt and complete reversal of behaviors —and to be fair, this one still confused the hell out of her— but she understood (a little) where this one was coming from. So, it was a bit more understandable, however strange it might be.
Alice and Emmett were the main ‘perpetrators’ of the invitations. Jasper seemed almost nervous around her? Not completely, he was still very friendly (for him) but just a bit more withdrawn around her. More closed off.
Aušra had noticed that seemed to be a pattern with him. Not a frequent pattern, but a pattern nonetheless. He would get close and (she supposed) push one of his own boundaries; share a bit more than he was expecting to. Open up himself more than he was comfortable with. He’d seem fine about it for a little bit (usually until they stopped being around each other) but then he’d pull back. Almost as if he’d realize ‘what he’d done’ and then panic.
Sometimes it was only a little, where he’d just seem a smidge uncomfortable. But other times he’d pull back a lot, almost retracing their entire friendship. That only happened once (thank god). But, he’d always come back around. Sometimes it was within a day. Other times, he took longer (the longest had been almost a week for him to get back to ‘normal’).
It was a defense mechanism, she knew that. She understood, but understanding didn’t stop her mind from panicking whenever it happened. The first few times it happened, she had been terribly worried that she’d done something wrong, that she’d broken a boundary. She’d had to ask a couple of times, (either Jasper himself, or Alice if he seemed too closed off) if she was in the wrong. Each time, they assured her that it wasn’t her. She was still wary (she wanted to take them at face value —just believe them and leave it at that— but the voices in her heads were bitches, and particularly loud about things like this). She was getting better at it, as time when on. It was easier to quiet the voices that told her she was a worthless, useless, piece of garbage, who everyone would leave eventually.
(It was one of her weak zones, rejection. She had been rejected so many goddamn times in her life. Both by strangers and by those close to her.)
A small consolation was he seemed to be mostly aware of what was happening, at least. And he seemed to be making efforts to mitigate the ‘consequences’ to her. She wouldn’t judge him for his defense mechanisms.
It’d be rather hypocritical of her, because she had her own. Though, hers in this particular respect, mostly involved dumping all of her issues and baggage at prospective friends’ feet —before they had any real chance to form any sort of connection other than, ‘I like this person, we could build a friendship’— and then just praying hoping they’d stay. That way, if they looked at all her issues, decided she wasn’t worth it, and rejected her; at least she hadn’t invested too much into it. That she hadn’t opened herself up (even just a little) just for them to stab her.
After a few weeks Jasper did seem to be comfortable enough to directly ask her to come over (that was assuming most of the invitations had been extended on his behest, which she did).
It was nice having regular (planned) social interactions outside of school. Aušra would probably never admit it, but the loneliness got to her occasionally. She had Tamsus of course —and he did do wonders for her mental health— but a familiar could only give so much company and conversation.
They would watch movies, play board games, video games, go for walks in their yard (they did have some great ‘nature paths’). Sometimes it was all of the Cullen ‘kids’. Edward even surprising her by being less and less weird around her every time she came over (still weird but less so); and he would actually join them on occasion! (For the most part, she was avoiding tormenting him… directly at least. She had been introducing Emmett to songs that he would like, and if some of them were also songs that Edward would be annoyed by, (ie Mindreader, Get out of My Head, Rivers is a Vampire, Lust for a Vampyr, Bunch of Draclias (And They’re All Playing Flute), Bloodbath & Beyond, etc) then who was she to complain?) Most of the time it was Jasper and Alice with Emmett being the most likely to join in.
Her favorite activity they did was a Bob Ross painting session, just the two of them. Jasper had supposed (not meanly) that she would need quite a bit of direction or help, but she had taken enough art classes over the years that she was quite competent on her own. Though, she did make more of a mess than she expected because she was not used to oil paints. (The acrylics she used for miniature painting had much faster dry times). Lots of “happy little accidents” happened on her canvas. (She might’ve been a bit more messy than usual because it seemed to amuse Jasper).
———•<•>•———
Jasper was having conflicting feelings about his friendship with Aušra. He knew that he had technically ‘come to terms’ with them being friends back in December, but he didn’t know —couldn’t have known— then, how close they would actually become.
One part of him was ecstatic about it. He loved her company and conversation. Loved how he felt around her. How she made him feel. Normal. Like he wasn’t a freak or broken beyond repair, like he was just a regular person. To her, he wasn’t something to be feared, he was something to be cherished. To be loved.
The first time she said it, he froze. He had said something mildly funny, just making a little snarky comment about something completely inconsequential.
“LOVE you.” she had responded emphatically. It wasn’t said softly, or sweetly; it was said with force behind it as she guffawed in surprise at his remark, but that didn’t change the impact. She had said it so casually, so easily, as if it was something equally inconsequential. And then she just moved on afterwards, not even acknowledging what she said. And so he just had to be normal about it. Pretend that she hadn’t just exploded his entire world. Act like those two little words hadn’t altered his sense of self. And she just kept saying it. With no expectations of him saying it back.
The thing was, he’d heard her say it before. She said it to Angela; she said it to Leah; she said it to Joel; she had said it to the mysterious phone Mike; but none of them were him. She had said she loved him and she had meant it.
It wasn’t just that he could tell she was being honest. No, he had went searching through her. Sorting through everything she was with almost a sort of desperation. He didn’t know what he wanted to find. Hoping that there was something there, but also being sort of afraid to find it.
And find it, he did. Tucked away as if it was precious to her. It wasn’t romantic love, he could tell. This soft, warm thing that oddly spoke of home and belonging; all wrapped up in a layer of protectiveness (she was protective of many things (and people) she loved). It was small, to be sure, but it was strong and so bright he wondered how he’d ever missed it before.
But… she couldn’t love him. She shouldn’t love him. It was too dangerous. He was too dangerous. That’s where the other part of him came in. The part that was terrified of how far this thing had gone. At how close he had allowed her to get. Though did he really ‘allow’ it? It sort of just happened.
That was worse though, that meant he wasn’t in control. And when he didn’t have control, things got…
Bloody.
He felt as though he was constantly at war with himself. And whenever he’d get to a point where he thought he was good; a point where he had finally reached a place of peace and acceptance of the situation, something would happen that would send him off balance again. He’d open up more to her —pushing some sort of boundary— or she’d touch him. And, oh man, has she been touching him.
It was little things at first, the slight nudging of arms or feet to get his attention, a light tap on the shoulder, or the barest point of contact during movie nights. But they steadily grew. Hands on shoulders, teasingly bumping into him when they walked together in the halls, socked feet being shoved under his legs (which, for sure, wasn’t to warm them up).
At first, every touch felt like electricity, like a static shock —unexpected and sometimes, maybe, a little bit painful. He never flinched; he didn’t want her to stop, not really. There was —as there always seemed to be— a small part of him that did. The part that yelled warning alarms saying, ‘this is new, and therefore uncomfortable which equals Unsafe!’ Warning him, ‘don’t get too close’, ‘don’t trust too much’, ‘don’t be stupid and get yourself hurt (she’ll hurt you in the end)’. He was getting better at fighting that voice more, as of late. Forcing himself out of his comfort zone, into uncharted territory.
It was still extremely difficult and he’s had to check himself constantly, but he’s trying. Trying to focus on the now. Just enjoy what he has with her as much as he can. Trying not to think of the future, the inevitable possible crash and burn. Allowing himself some happiness.
No.
Making himself ‘steal it back’ as Aušra had said.
He still fails, with much more frequency than he would like. Something will happen and he’ll freak out and pull back in defense of himself. Again, he’s been getting better at not pulling away, or pulling away less, and it’s getting easier to wrangle the voice. He hurts her when he does that (all you ever do is hurt people); she tries to act like it doesn’t, but he can feel the pain and distress he’s causing her. But even with the hurt, she always accepts him back (which is more than you deserve), she’s always happy when he returns.
Now, her touch doesn’t hurt (did it truly hurt before?), he’s learning to find comfort rather than panic in it. She gives it so freely, so openly; it feels nice— she feels safe.
The ‘biggest touch’ so far had been at the last movie night they did.
She had been tired when she arrived, and her exhaustion only grew after the lights went down. She was sitting on the floor in front of the couch —she likes sitting on the floor, or countertops, or on tables… anywhere but in a chair, really (and even in a chair she can’t seem to sit normally).
He was sitting on the couch diagonally behind her. He could feel the sleep slowly taking over her body, weighing her down. Forcefully blinking, she attempted to shake off the sleep clinging to her (mostly unsuccessfully). She shifted, moving herself to a position where she wasn’t leaning forward anymore. Not reclining —in any sense of the word— but she was now leaning her weight onto the front of the sofa. A few minutes passed and the small amount of sleepiness she had successfully shucked had returned. He debated saying something, urging her to go home. She had been so tired lately, and she should go home and rest… but he also really didn’t want her driving if she was this tired… He decided to leave her be.
Her head lolled back, resting on the couch cushion, her mind right on the edge of sleep. Part of him couldn’t believe it; that she felt so safe around them to go to sleep.
“Awww! Is she asleep?” Alice whispered with affection, a few minutes after Aušra had slipped into unconsciousness.
Jasper nodded, “yeah, she’s been nodding off for the last twenty minutes; she finally gave in, I guess.”
“That’s so cute!” Alice responded.
Jasper didn’t comment on that.
“She looks so peaceful.” Alice continued after his silence. Affection and fondness was spilling out of her as she looked over Aušra.
Carefully leaning forward to get a better view of her face, he agreed with that. She did look peaceful. The slight furrowing of her brow that was near constant was gone. Her jaw was no longer clenched (she had said she an issue with unconsciously clenching muscles), which made her lips part slightly. The overall effect left her looking really relaxed and serene. He realized he was staring and moved his gaze back to the movie. He carefully leaned back again.
After a while, Aušra shifted around in her sleep. When she stopped moving she slumped more to the side; her head lolling off to the left… resting on his leg.
Jasper felt like he was imploding, or maybe exploding? Either way, his internals were a mess. He couldn’t believe it. He knew that she was sleeping —that this wasn’t a conscious decision— but the fact that she trusted them (him) so implicitly, that she not only felt comfortable enough to fall asleep around them (him), but comfortable enough to touch him in her sleep.
He wasn’t going to move, obviously. She needed her sleep and moving would disturb her. He definitely wasn’t doing it because he could feel her breath on his pant leg, or the way he could feel the warmth of her cheek as it was squished against the fabric on his knee. Or because the anxiety that constantly plagued her was so much quieter now, and that made him ache inside in the best of ways. No Sir, it was just because she needed this. Because she didn’t get enough sleep and he was happy to help.
(Jasper had never been so relieved that Edward and Emmett had gone hunting and were out for the foreseeable night. He did not need Emmett’s teasing comments, nor Edward’s snide comments and dirty looks. (He was already dealing with the smug knowing that was shooting out of Alice.))
He looked over at her, her eyes were squarely on the tv screen, but her focus was decidedly not. Alice’s mind was completely on the two of them.
Jasper tried to keep his focus on the movie. It was one of Alice’s favorite’s: Legally Blonde. He usually enjoyed it as well, but it wasn’t able to hold his attention tonight.
His hearing kept slipping to the sound of the girl asleep on his knee. Her soft breathing. She made noises in her sleep too. It couldn’t really be considered talking —in any language. It was more like vocalizations; a series of short humming-like noises in her throat. They didn’t happen often, but he found that there was somewhat of a pattern to them. She seemed to do it in response to voices. Not every voice, but when a character on screen talked louder than usual and when Esme had walked in to ask Alice something, she’d ‘responded’ to them.
About fifteen minutes before the movie ended, he felt the consciousness slowly seeping back into her body. It was barely a minute after she was awake enough to realize, that she removed her head with a quiet mumbled, “hmm? oh, sorry…”
“'S no problem.” he responded just as quietly.
———•<•>•———
It was the beginning of March when Jasper asked.
“I have a, uh… request,” Jasper said as Aušra pulled a booked down from the shelf. It was lunchtime and they were spending it in the library (they both had been feeling overstimulated that day).
She looked at him in amusement, and teased, “you sure? 'Cause you don’t sound very sure.”
He leveled her a flat look, then raised an eyebrow, clearly ‘unimpressed’ by her snark. (He might’ve looked annoyed or unamused, but she knew better.)
She met his gaze with a blank and innocent face; they were now in a standoff. Who would break first?
Surprisingly, they both broke near simultaneously. She felt her lips pursing to suppress a smile at the same time she noticed the edge of his mouth twitch almost imperceptibly upward. (One of them probably proceeded the other by a second or two, but Aušra didn’t care to figure it out).
She smiled and silently ‘giggled’ (it was more like a few quick puffs of air from her nose). Jasper’s smile grew too. He was doing that more often, she thought. She wasn’t sure if he was actually smiling more or if she was just getting better at reading his micro-expressions.
“Alright, fine, what’s this ‘request’ you have for me?” she mimicked the way he had said request.
“Um… so, my adopt-aversary is coming up…” he looked away from her, suddenly ‘very interested’ with the books on the shelf, “and I wanted to make something for Esme…”
“Uh-huuuh…” she nodded slowly, a bit confused by what this had to do with her, and his sudden ‘bashfulness’.
He took a large breath as if to steel himself, “and I was wondering if you could, uh, help me make something… ya know, like at your place? Outta wood?”
She was probably looking at him like he was a puppy, but she couldn’t help it! He was just so adorable!
“Absolutely, I will!”
He got a shy little smile and ducked his head, “thanks.”
They talked out the details, and decided to meet up that Saturday to start. Then, they used the rest of lunch to discuss the technical details of what he wanted.
The next day (Friday), Jasper came up to her before school started.
“Good morning,” he greeted with a tip of his head.
“Mornin’ Jasper,” she said with a smile and a pulse of her love.
She saw the second it hit him, he tensed for a moment and then his whole body relaxed a little more, a minuscule smile perking up his lips. He looked over at Joel, (who was standing next to her as they had been chatting when Jasper walked up) his posture regaining some of its rigidity. Joel smiled that lazy of his at Jasper, shrinking his posture a bit, clearly trying to put the other man at ease. It seemed to work, because Jasper looked back at her.
“So… Emmett heard that I’m coming over tomorrow and wanted to know if he could come too.”
“What’s happening tomorrow? Are you doin’ a movie night again?” Joel asked.
“Nah, I’m teaching Jasper some woodworking stuff.”
“Oh, cool. I wish I knew how to woodwork. That’d be cool to know,” Joel said plainly.
“I could teach you, ya know?” she said, Jasper tensed almost imperceptibly so she added for clarification, “not this Saturday, obviously.”
Joel put on an exaggerated thinking face and paused for a few moments, “…nah, seems like an expensive hobby to get into… ya know, with all those tools and shit…” he said with a small smirk.
“It doesn’t have to be,” she laughed.
“mmmm, yeah, no , think I’m good,” Joel smiled then looked at the clock and scowled, “man, I gotta get going. Gotta make up that quiz I missed.” He opened his arms up.
“Okay. See ya later, dude,” she said, going in for the hug.
As Joel walked away, she turned back to Jasper with a smile, “and to answer your question: I’m fine with Emmett coming over too. Does he also want to learn woodworking?”
“I… don’t know,” he responded.
She smiled, “alrighty then, I guess we’ll find out.
“And just for clarification’s sake, are you looking for me to help you, or for you to help me?”
“Hm?” he looked at her questioningly for a moment moment before his face morphed into realization, “oh… you helping me, if that’s alright.”
“Sounds perfect.”
Later that same night she received a text from Jasper,
Jasper:
Hey, apparently Esme,
Alice, and Rosalie are
doing a ‘girls day’
tomorrow and Edward
doesn’t feel like it’s ‘fair’
to be left alone at home
when we’re all out doing
things. Could he come
over as well?
Aušra stared at the text with confusion.
Me:
Yeah that’s fine
Jasper:
Thanks, I know it’s
last minute.
Me:
Np
———•<•>•———
The boys showed up at noon the next day. Jasper and Emmett were dressed to work; Edward, less so.
They immediately went to the wood shop, joining Aušra there as planned. She knew they didn’t technically need it, but it was her requirement for entering her shop and there were no exceptions. So, PPE was passed out and properly donned. Thank goodness she had some larger-sized safety glasses; Emmett’s noggin was (understandably) huge. The pairs she used for herself wouldn’t fit around his face properly (it was almost comical how much they had to bow out). She ended up having to show them how to properly put ear plugs in because they all had them at least halfway outside their ear canals.
She went through her standard safety spiel. Explaining how the ‘simple’ saws (ie miter and table) worked and how to avoid getting hurt. (Would a SawStop even work on a vampire? One would assume so. They probably conducted electricity, right? Either way, not looking to test that theory.)
She ended with the typical, “I don’t want to have to explain to your parents why y’all’re missing fingers, got it?”
(Although in this case, the reason she wanted them to keep their hands away from blades was more for the wellbeing of the blades rather than them.
She had extras of course. It’d be dumb not to. Even she couldn’t prevent blades from dulling, and stopping for multiple days to wait for saw blades to be sharpened was not something she was keen on doing. (Also, them ‘cutting themselves,’ but having no injuries was a fast track to them revealing themselves. Which she was still quite keen to avoid).)
Jasper went through her extras/scrap pile (which was quite large, and not actually a pile; it was organized… mostly) looking for boards that he liked. She helped him after by giving suggestions of which to keep. (“This one is darker than the rest so it’ll stick out from the group.” “This one is pretty gnarled at the end with a tight grain; which, while very pretty, is more likely to chip and blow out.” “Oops, that one’s actually alder not cherry, that’s my bad.”)
She suggested making a mock-up first. Telling him that the first one he makes will likely have issues —by virtue of being his first time woodworking and first drafts almost always had some issues. And by making a mock-up, the making of the actual box will go smoother.
Once they had an appropriate amount of boards for the keepsake box he was making, they set to work. Boards were planed to thickness and sent through the wide belt sander. While Jasper did that, she moved to her own project (another commission from Paul).
Emmett had chosen his own scrap of wood, and was sitting on a stool whittling away at it. He seemed confident in what he was doing, so she let him be. (Well, she did let him know that her ‘Good Chisels’ were off limits but he could use her other ones.)
“What’s the difference?” Emmett asked.
“The difference is those,” she pointed behind her to the bench she kept them at, “are expensive as hell, kept sharper than a razor, and are exclusively for carving. While these, are used for just general ‘I need something sharp’ work.”
“Gotcha… I am carving though…” he responded, trailing off with hopeful curiosity.
She gave him a polite smile, “no offense, but I don’t trust you with those. I don’t trust almost everyone with those.”
He shrugged good-naturedly, “that’s fine. I get it.”
“Oh, by the way, any of you feel free to change the music, skip a song, et cetera. It’s just the mp3 player right there. There’s plenty of playlist to choose from.”
Edward was watching her, she could feel it. He was trying to pretend like he wasn’t; every time she glanced in his direction he’d go back to reading the book he brought. She’d flash a smile at him whenever their gazes did meet though.
Her attention was split between her own project and helping Jasper with his. Which is what she expected. The only reason she was working on her own project in the first place, was so she wasn’t hovering over Jasper the whole time. (Though she was keeping an eye on him ensuring he was doing things properly).
He came to her at each new step, where she told (and sometimes showed) him how to proceed. She’d watch him do it the first time, make any necessary corrections and then leave him be. He was competent, and though not super confident, he was willing to ask questions —which she was grateful for. She’d much rather have someone who asked a ton of clarifying questions, than someone who was too embarrassed (or cocky) to ask and just plowed on incorrectly.
After probably two hours Emmett seemed to get bored of his whittling and came to ‘bother’ Aušra.
“Whatcha making?” he asked, standing behind her, looking over her shoulder.
She hated that. She wasn’t quite sure why, but it felt judgmental (even if it wasn’t). It felt like they were trying to loom over her. Like, there’s plenty of room, just step to the side and stand beside her!
Jasper must’ve misinterpreted her discomfort because he looked over and told Emmett, “Em, leave her be.”
“Oh, no he’s fine. I don’t mind him asking questions,” she turned to Emmett, “but do you mind standing over here instead?”
Emmett happily moved to the side and continued his line of questioning.
She explained to him that she was making a piece for a ‘bench’ that was going into a nook in someone’s house.
“I’m just doing the back pieces that will line the walls; Paul’s people are doing the drawer cabinets that the bench cushion will sit on.”
She showed him the plans. He stared at them completely befuddled.
“How the hell do you read these?” he asked, face contorted in what looked like horrified confusion.
She chuckled, “practice mostly. They’re not as confusing as they look once you know what you’re looking at. There’s a lot of extra information that I don’t necessarily need, but they give to me just in case.”
He looked at her skeptically as he put the plans down. “So what are you doing right now?”
Aušra explained that she was currently building the frames that the bead board trim would go inside of. She showed him how she marked the individual boards to ensure that she kept the good sides on the face. How she knew what angles to miter things at, so the pieces came together perfectly. (Luckily the concave curved piece that connected the top to the front edge on the two sides had been CNC’d for her, so she didn’t need to worry about cutting those out or cutting the miter herself). Showed him how she set up the saw; how she always used a scrap piece before cutting the ‘good one’. They checked the fit of the angle together and she explained how she knew which way to adjust the saw to fix the miter. He listened and watched her raptly, immensely curious about it.
Jasper occasionally ‘interrupted’ asking for further instructions.
Once all the boards were cut and checked for fit, she showed him how to use the pocket screwer. He then followed her over to the face frame assembly table. Aušra explained to Emmett that the machine had these pneumatic pistons that pressed onto the joint, which held the two pieces flush to each other and in place as you screwed them together.
Emmett stood to the left of her on the other side of the ‘beam’. She was lining a joint up when it happened.
Emmett moved, shifting himself closer for a better look. The piston slammed down unexpectedly, catching the very edge of Aušra’s hand underneath it.
“Shit!” she bit out, reactively retracting her hand. Luckily her purlicue* had only barely been under so she wasn’t further hurt when she yanked it out.
(*the webbing between the thumb and pointer)
She instinctively brought the hurt part into her mouth.
“Oh shit! Are you okay?” Emmett asked looking extremely concerned.
Aušra heard the stool scraping against the floor as Edward quickly got up from it.
She removed her hand from her mouth to examine the damage (for there surely was going to be some). The pinched part was red but it hadn’t broken the skin.
“I’m fine, it just barely clipped me.”
“How’d that happen?? You didn’t even touch the lever,” Emmett asked, concern still covering his face and voice.
She shrugged, “you probably accidentally bumped into this,” she said, pointing at left side of the beam where the backside of the lever came out to bend up and around to the mechanism that actually caused the piston to close. She flicked the lever to the off position.
Horror crossed Emmett’s face as he realized, “oh my god I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!”
“Dude it’s okay, it was an accident, no harm done.”
He still ducked his head, posture collapsing in guilt.
“Emmett,” Edward called out, now standing next to Jasper, “come here please?”
He looked at her remorsefully, then sulked over to his brothers.
She went back to the frame, she needed to get this joint in place before the glue started setting soon. Her hand throbbed, she ignored the steadily growing blood blister. She’d drain it after. (She knew you weren’t supposed to pop blisters, but they were uncomfortable, and liable to get caught on something in the shop and rip open unexpectedly. She’d rather just control it).
———•<•>•———
“What the hell were you thinking??” Edward hissed at Emmett when he came closer. He was filled with anger and frustration.
“I’m sorry—” Emmett defended.
“‘Sorry’ doesn’t cut it! You can’t be so clumsy—”
Jasper cut in before Edward got more riled up than he already was, “Edward, calm down, okay? There’s no need to berate him, it was clearly an accident. Aušra even said it was okay.”
“Calm down? Calm down?! How am I supposed to be calm when we’ve just narrowly avoided disaster??”
“That’s being a bit dramatic, don’t ya think?”
Edward looked at him in disbelief, his ‘I’m surrounded by idiots’ blend rising up within him, “No! I don’t think it’s dramatic! She could’ve very well have bled from that incident. Y—”
“Yeah but that’s why we’re here Eds.” Emmett interrupted, gesturing between himself and Edward, “we can hold him back just fine if anything happened.”
Edward felt close to his breaking point, Jasper pushed calm into him with a pointed look. His brother narrowed his eyes accusatorially, but still took a deep breath.
“And what then, Emmett? How do you suppose we try and explain that to her, huh?” Edward said, aggravation dripping like venom from his words. “The only real option —IF we were able to stop him from killing her— would be to reveal ourselves!”
Based on the indignant frustration that flared in Edward and what he was feeling from Emmett; Jasper could only conclude that Emmett had thought something very similar to himself:
Would that be so bad?
(Though Emmett definitely hadn’t have the immediate follow-up thought that Jasper did of: ‘Yes! Yes it would!’)
Edward’s hands went to his hair, gripping it in frustration.
From the corner of the shop pulsed a brief moment of discomfort, accompanied by the sound of teeth biting through flesh.
All three vampires paused, their gazes shooting over to Aušra. She was standing by the shop sink.
The smell of iron, the smell of blood — human blood— hit his nose only milliseconds later. He froze in place, panic constricting his chest, but still he breathed deeply of the scent against his will.
This can’t be happening
She can’t have just caused herself to bleed!
Oh God, please!
I’m gonna kill her! I don’t want to kill her! Idon’twanttokillher!
Jasper was so consumed by his panic he barely registered Emmett’s and Edward’s hands gripping his arms like vices.
He stood there, his whole body rigid as he waited for it to happen.
For him to lose control.
For the demon of his bloodlust to take over and shunt Jasper to the background. To be forced to helplessly watch as his body instinctively tried to tear his best friend apart. To consume her. And—
And—
And nothing happened?
There was no bloodlust clouding his mind. The itching, burning sensation in his throat —the one that had been his near constant companion these past 140 years of his existence— didn’t change. It didn’t grow to unimaginable heights; didn’t become so unbearable that he couldn’t think. There was no overwhelming Need to sink his teeth into her throat.
The only thing that happened was his mouth watered a little. So little, in fact, that he wouldn’t have even noticed if he hadn’t been paying acute attention to his body.
His muscles relaxed as he let out a breath. He chanced to breathe in and again, nothing happened.
??????
He stood there in utter bewilderment.
———•<•>•———
Aušra turned away from the sink after washing the blood down the drain.
The boys stood as they had been —Jasper to the back, with Emmett and Edward in front of him, creating a group circle (triangle?)— but now Emmett and Edward looked to be closer to Jasper, looking as if they were using their bodies to cage him in. Jasper just stood there with the kind of haunted, thousand-foot stare one would expect of someone seeing a biblically accurate seraphim for the first time.
It took a second, but her brain finally caught up with what she was seeing.
Oh.
Oh, crap. She hadn’t really thought about it when she’d broken open her blood blister. She knew her blood wouldn’t affect them, but they didn’t know that. She felt a little guilty for causing them to panic (mostly Jasper), but she it’s not like she could apologize about it.
So, she put a bandaid on and just went back to what she doing. Just pretend that nothing happened. (Because technically, nothing did).
Time moved slowly after that. The overall mood in the shop had shifted; they (the Cullens) seemed a bit more distracted after that. Not much work got done in the remaining forty minutes.
Earlier in the day, Emmett had suggested watching a movie he had brought along. So, after they cleaned up, they went inside.
———•<•>•———
Jasper was definitely watching the movie, he swore he was. He was paying attention, he knew what was happening… Probably.
His mind was still racing, though less so, as he’d now had some time to process.
Aušra was sitting next to him on the couch (touching him). He could still faintly smell the blood on her. (She wasn’t actively bleeding, but he could smell the blood on the bandaid).
Why didn’t it trigger his bloodlust? It should’ve.
Don’t get him wrong, he is beyond grateful that it didn’t, that she’s okay. Alive. Unhurt (by him).
It’s just…confusing. (Total understatement.)
Why now? Why her? Why not with the hundreds of others he’d been driven mad by the smell of? What was so different about Aušra?
Had he just gotten so used to her —to her scent— that even her fresh blood held no temptation to him?
He supposed it was possible. It’s not like he had ever gotten this close to a human before. He’d always kept his distance, because it was unsafe. For both the human and his family.
That was the only explanation. Nothing else really made sense.
Was that all it took? Just spend time a lot of time with people and it’ll fade?
(As if that’s an easy task.)
If he no longer had to worry about accidentally killing her out of bloodlust though…
That was (one of) his main fears; the main ‘hindrance’ in their relationship… and if that was gone?…
So much changed.
Notes:
A/N: LOVE writing Jasper in emotional crisis over Aušra showing him affection freely and willingly.
Also quick PSA, if your safety earplugs are able to been seen by someone looking at you head on (ie sticking past the tragus), they’re not in all the way (unless you have tiny ear canals), and probably aren’t giving you proper hearing protection! You should only be able to tell someone is wearing them if you’re looking directly at their ear from the side.
The bench thing is based on something I actually built at my work. I probably described it horribly and I’m sorry! I tried looking for pictures but nothing matched even remotely 😬. (If y'all want I can draw a rough idea).
(TW: injuries) I saw that face frame accident happen to a coworker of mine, he was reaching around weird and bumped it. Except, unlike Aušra, his thumb was cut open by the pressing piston.
Chapter 19
Summary:
Leah complains a bit about Sam. Aušra has growing suspicious about Harry Clearwater. She reveals that she’s asexual; it doesn’t go great.
Chapter Text
That Sunday afternoon, Aušra went over to the Clearwater’s house. They weren’t fishing that week, just hanging out.
Leah was complaining about Sam.
“I don’t know what it is, but he’s just been so moody, lately.” she said as she flopped down onto her bed, exasperatedly.
“How so?” Aušra asked, sitting crisscross at the foot.
“Ugh, I don’t even know! Just like more irritable? Nothing specific, he’s just more sensitive and snappy… like, I’ll playfully tease him —in a way I have many times before and he’s been fine with— but now he gets all… bitchy, about it.”
“All the time?”
“No,” she dropped her head onto her pillow staring up at the ceiling, “but I can never tell when it’s going to happen. Normally, I can tell when he’s had a bad day or something, and then I, you know, tread more carefully or whatever to not aggravate it. But now, everything will be fine and normal and then he’ll just snap at the most random things! He’s apologized a few of the more ‘extreme’ times afterwards. Like when he called me ‘childish’ and ‘annoying’,” she rolled her eyes, scowling, “he says that it’s just stress, which I get, I do. He has a lot going on… but he’s had a lot going on and this just started.”
Aušra listened carefully, lips pulling to the side as she thought about her response, “okay… do want advice or are you just ranting?”
Leah lifted her head, looking at Aušra curiously. “…a bit of both? I guess?”
Aušra nodded, taking that into consideration, “it’s possible that the stress is just getting to him more right now for some reason. Has anything changed? Relationship-wise?“
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, like the amount of time or uh…” how to say this… “intimacy, y’all are spending together?”
Leah snorted, “you can say ‘sex’, I’m not a prude.” (Even though she also said it quieter than everything else she’d been saying.)
“I’m not either, but intimacy isn’t just sex, ya know.”
“I guess… and we’re spending a little less time than usual together, but that’s because he’s working so dang much. But it’s barely less than usual.”
“That could be a part of it then. Y’all’s time together could’ve been helping him regulate his stress, and now that he has less of it and more stress, it could be harder for him emotionally. Or maybe he just has less ‘down time’ so he hasn’t been able to decompress properly. Stress and anxiety can do crazy things to the body and mind.”
Leah laid there in silence for a moment still staring at the ceiling, “maybe…”
“Just talk to him about it.”
Leah huffed. “How do you even bring that up? ‘Hey you know how you’ve been really bitchy lately? Is it because you’re too stressed out and need to relax more?’”
Aušra chuckled, it was obvious that Leah was being facetious, “I’d probably refrain from calling him ‘bitchy’, but basically, yeah. Ask him if more or less time with you would help. Or if there’s anything you can do to help him feel more supported.”
Leah let out a gravelly sigh.
“I know, ugh, it’s so hard to communicate with your boyfriend.” Aušra teased.
“Oh, shut up,” she mumbled, nudging Aušra with her foot.
They were called down for dinner shortly after.
Aušra washed her hands before settling down at the table. Her bandaid was refusing to stay on so she threw it out.
(She would’ve healed it by now but since the Cullens had seen it, she felt it was wisest to allow it to heal in its own. Which was faster than normal, but slower than she wanted).
“What happened to your hand?” Seth asked a few minutes into the meal.
The whole table looked at her, lightly intrigued.
She finished chewing before answering, “accident in the wood shop; pneumatic clamp came down on my hand.” she said, shrugging nonchalantly.
“You should to pay attention to your fingers, you only got ten of them, ya know?” Harry (it felt weird referring to him as that but he insisted) responded, in a playful but still serious manner.
“Oh, I know. And trust me, I’m keen on keeping all of them attached. And I was being careful, but Emmett bumped the—”
“Emmett Cullen?” Harry interrupted.
“Yeah…?” she answered, confused by his accusatory undertone. Aušra glanced at Leah, who looked back with resigned embarrassment. “I’m teaching Jasper—”
Harry’s hands clenched around his silverware at the name (Aušra switched her focus to Sue; Harry’s physical reactions were too distracting), “—how to wood work. He’s making a keepsake box for Esme, as like a ‘thank you’ for adopting him and Rosalie.”
“That’s sweet,” Sue responded smiling, placing her hand on top of Harry’s.
He relaxed a bit, but not much.
She smiled back at Sue, “it is, right? Well anyways, Edward and Emmett—” she did her best to ignore the movement of Harry in her peripheries, “—tagged along. And I guess Emmett got bored of whittling and started watching me.
“So anyways, I was was arranging a joint on the face frame assembly table and and he bumped into something on the other side of the beam-press-thingy —this is one of the flaws in this one’s design— and the the piston clamped down just barely clipping my hand.”
“He hurt you?”
What was his deal with this? She knew he disliked the Cullens but like, Damn dude, what’s your beef?
…Wait, does he know? No. Right? How could he? But…she supposed it was possible…
“Accidentally,” she emphasized, “and barely. Plus, he was super torn up about it.”
Harry looked down at her hand with suspicious disbelief.
“It looks worse than it was, 'cause I tore it open,” his eyes went wide at that, “it was only a blood blister, but those tend to get caught on stuff in the shop and rip open anyways, and they end up just make a big ol' mess. So I prefer to just open and drain them myself.”
“And they were… fine with that?” he probed.
“…Yeah? Why wouldn’t they be?”
He seemed to catch himself, realizing that this was an odd line of questioning.
Oh, he definitely knows. Maybe not the entire truth of them being vampires, but he definitely knows something’s up.
The conversation was skillfully steered away from the Cullens by Sue.
———•<•>•———
Jasper wasn’t eavesdropping.
Okay, that was a lie.
He wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, at least. He had been dutifully keeping his hearing to himself, allowing others in the cafeteria their privacy (he didn’t want to know anyways). But Alice’s interest had suddenly intensely peaked and focused (like a cat honing in on a bug on the ceiling), and on instinct he —basically unconsciously— searched for what had done it. He found it, and now he couldn’t pry his focus away.
“What d’ya mean you ‘don’t have a crush?’” Jessica asked, genuinely shocked.
“Exactly what I said: I don’t have one,” Aušra responded evenly. Her emotions told a different story though.
It wasn’t dread, per se… it was more like resignation and a bit of preemptive annoyance? Like she knew where this conversation was headed and wasn’t looking forward to it.
“You don’t find anyone in the entire school attractive?” Becca questioned in disbelief.
“Yeah. Not like that, at least. But attraction is weird for me.”
“What do you mean?” Angela asked genuinely confused and curious.
Aušra was steeling herself for whatever she was about to say; it wasn’t self-consciousness that was making her reticent. No, it felt more like she was preparing herself for a slew of questions she didn’t feel like answering.
“'Cause I’m asexual.”
Jasper felt the fog of confusion billowing up from the group.
Becca was the first to speak up, “what’s that mean?”
“It means I don’t experience sexual attraction.” Aušra’s response sounded scripted. Or at least something she had said a thousand times.
“Like, at all? For anyone?” Angela asked.
“Yep. Male, female, somewhere in-between, doesn’t matter, 'm not attracted to ‘em… sexually, that is,” she stapled on to the end like an afterthought.
The other girls at the table asked questions, which Aušra answered, but Jasper was only half paying attention.
He hadn’t thought about it —because why would he?— but now, as he dug through his memories, he realized that he hadn’t ever felt any sort of sexual attraction from her.
Huh, odd…
Not Aušra. He wasn’t calling her odd; just more of the situation. He wondered just how many other things he had missed in people because he wasn’t looking for them?
He felt a pang of hurt and disappointment come from Aušra which immediately snapped his attention back to the present. He replayed what he had just heard.
“Maybe you’ll grow out of it,” Jessica had said dismissively.
The hurt felt anticipated in a way, like she knew it was coming. Like she had heard that same thing before many times. There was also this odd mix of frustrated disappointment. Like she was upset because she felt that she shouldn’t be disappointed, because this was the outcome she expected.
“Nah,” Aušra responded, sounding almost completely disaffected.
“Well, how do you know? Maybe you just haven’t met the right guy yet,” Jessica countered.
“That’s not how that works—” the frustration was building inside her.
“Why not? How do you know you won’t like sex?”
“Because I’m a sex-repulsed asexual. The thought of having sex is nauseating to me.”
“I mean, that’s kinda how I felt when I first learned about sex, but it that went away as I got older,” Becca piped up.
Aušra sighed internally.
“Exactly!” Jessica exclaimed, “Like you said, you’re a virgin,” she said it condescendingly, as if she hadn’t just lost her virginity to Mike (which Jasper had the very unpleasant and extremely unwanted experience of having to hear all about as she was recounting it to her friends in art class), “so how do you know you won’t like it? Maybe you’re just being prudish.”
It felt like maybe Angela was going to speak up, she definitely wanted to, but she didn’t.
Something inside Aušra was straining. A mass of pressure building up in her chest. “How do you know you won’t like the taste of dog shit, Jessica? You’ve never tried it.” It had been said in a joking manner, but anyone paying attention could hear the faint venom underneath.
Becca snorted.
“Come on, that’s totally different,” Jessica responded, still being completely dismissive, “I mean what are you going to do when you get married?“
Jasper could feel the indignant ire swirling and clumping violently like a storm inside Aušra. She was trying to push it down, and, to her credit, she was was fairly successful, “if I get married, then my partner and I will just not have sex, there ar—”
That’s an option?
“Your wedding night’s going to be an awful surprise for your husband!” Jessica laughed, clearly not reading the room.
That something finally snapped inside Aušra.
“Who said it would be a surprise?” she bit back, “who said it wouldn’t be fully discussed beforehand? That that wouldn’t be the first topic of discussion before I even thought about dating someone? Do you honestly believe that I would date —let alone marry— someone who didn’t fully understand and accept that crucial part of me??”
“I’m just saying, I don’t know any guy who would agree to a sexless relationship,” Jessica responded defensively.
Those words hit an obvious sore spot as pain and hurt swelled within Aušra, but rather than causing her to sink into herself, the pain just seemed to fuel the inferno that was quickly flaring up in her.
“You believe I’m the type of person who would trick someone into marrying them? That I’m the sort of person who would try to trap someone in what would be a horrible relationship? That’s what you believe? That I would rather be in a relationship based on trickery and manipulation rather than being alone?” her voice was measured but sharp, the displeasure clear.
Despite everything, she had remarkable control of the beast raging inside her, fighting to be released. It thrashed and screamed but the chains she held it locked up in held firm; forcing it to her will. It was impressive, to say the least. (He’d seen many grown adults with far less restraint than she was showing).
“Good to know that you think so little of me. But that’s the difference between us, Jessica. I’m not desperate to be with someone. My worth is not derived on my relationship status.”
Her words hit their mark in Jessica. Aušra felt ten seconds away from snapping. He heard her roughly put her hands on the table and stand up.
“What are you doing?” Angela asked.
“Leaving,” she said bitterly.
“Why?”
“I refuse to be continually berated and belittled and told that I don’t know how I feel.”
Jasper turned towards her table. Their eyes met briefly as she turned around. Her face was carefully neutral. He could tell she was fighting every instinct and the howling beast inside her that were screaming at her to stand her ground and fight. (Not necessarily physically).
He assumed she was going to go to the library, so was surprised when she turned to the parking lot, quickly walking right out the doors. He got up and followed her, unsure why. Well, he knew why, she was his friend, and she was hurting. He was just unsure what he was going to do once he caught up.
———•<•>•———
Aušra leaned against her car, resting her forehead against the back of her hands as they gripped the cool metal.
Breathe.
She needed to breathe.
It was lightly sprinkling, she wished it was pouring; that would be better.
She inhaled deeply —in until she couldn’t fit anymore air into her lungs— then exhaled with a low vibrating groan until all the air was gone.
She banged her head against her hands, the air was chill and her fingers were going slightly numb being in contact with the cold metal of her car. It was grounding.
Her mind was a mess of anger and pissed off thoughts.
We are not going to hurt Jessica Stanley.
We are not going to hurt Jessica Stanley.
Part of her wanted to. The petty part of her, the part of her that needed revenge; needed to go blow for blow with those that hurt her. Leave them worse off physically or emotionally. Let them know that she is not a carpet to be walked all over. So they know she is Not To Be Fucked With.
But… that didn’t really apply here. She couldn’t blame Jessica (she could). She was just a dumb teen talking about shit she didn’t know. (Aušra kept reminding herself that she had more than a hundred and eighty years of experience on the girl). So there was no good target for her rage. No real outlet to channel other than to society as a whole.
We are not going to hurt Jessica Stanley.
We are not going to hurt Jessica Stanley.
She must’ve also been mumbling it aloud to herself, because she heard a small huff of laughter behind her. She knew it was Jasper; she had felt him walking up and then standing behind her; but had decided on ignoring him.
She heard him shuffling a little closer. She picked up her head, letting it fall back putting her face to the sky. Small raindrops hitting her at uneven intervals. After a few moments she let out a heavy sigh trying to lighten the weight in her chest.
“Yes, Jasper?” she winced when it came out harsher than she wanted.
He was silent behind her. He wasn’t looking at her anymore.
He started and abandoned a few sentences, never making it past the first sound. He quietly groaned in frustration.
She finally turned her head to see him, making an attempt to soften her expression —probably failing. He had a hand over his eyes, rubbing at his face.
When his hand finally dropped and their eyes met he gave her the smallest bittersweet smile.
Okay, so he definitely heard. Great.
She had been hoping that they had somehow missed that. She hated pity.
Don’t forget that he was also witness to your emotional meltdown over some simple Fucking Words that you’ve heard a Thousand Times Before!
Shut up.
Now he knows you’re even more of a freak. A fucking loser who can’t even get the basics of being a person right.
Shut Up!
SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!
A blanket of warmth draped over her —not pressing in, just surrounding her— feeling of calm and understanding and complete acceptance and —and love (platonic).
Fuck.
That was a blow she didn’t need right now. He probably didn’t realize that soft feelings wouldn’t help her at the moment. It’d only overwhelm the little control she had left that was holding back the dam of everything she didn’t have the time or energy to deal with right now.
Her body and mind fought against the sensations draping over her; on whether or not to let him soothe the now raw and gaping wound that Jessica had accidentally reopened. (That was the worst part —one of them, at least. If she had been purposefully being mean it would’ve been easier to take. 'Cause then it would’ve been words specifically meant to target, to get under her skin. Easier to brush off because she knew they were designed to hurt. But this was just an ‘accident’. Just her actual beliefs and ignorance, which (stupidly) hurt so much more. And it wasn’t even truly Jessica‘s words that were fueling her feelings. Jessica’s opinion didn’t mean shit to her. But it was sum of all the anger, resentment, and hurt from decades worth of similar comments. All of them bubbling to the surface at the same time. Jessica just happened to be the catalyst (this time). The idiot who accidentally hit the wasps nest.)
She would keep it together. Her usual stable emotional footing had been kicked out from underneath her, and she was left holding onto cold, distant anger like a lifeline. It was detached. Safe.
She wouldn’t let herself slip into the white, hot and messy hurt that was threatening to fill up inside her. Not allow herself to sink into the pit of hurt and worthlessness that she so often wished to give into when she got overwhelmed.
“Fuck high schoolers,” she said plainly, though some bitterness definitely came through.
Jasper huffed a laugh at that.
“Yeah… I—, do y—,” he sighed, starting over again, “…are you okay?”
She snorted derisively at the question.
“I know, stupid question…”
She held up her hand, bringing her thumb and pointer close together to indicate, ‘just a little.’ She gave him her best attempt at a smile —which ended up just being the slight pulling back of the side of her mouth.
“I’m—,” she sighed then took a long stabilizing breath, “I will be.”
He nodded, staying silent, allowing her to talk if she needed.
“I just needed to get out.” she said quietly, rubbing her face then looking back up at the sky. She could already feel the anger simmering out.
“Yeah, I noticed you made quite the speedy exit back there… overstimulated?” he ‘guessed’, even though they both know the answer.
“More like ‘pissed off and not trying to cause permanent damage’.”
He tilted his head and quirked an eyebrow, his expression slightly amused.
The rain started to pick up. She nodded towards her car in silent invitation. Jasper hesitated for a moment, glancing back at the school before shrugging and walking over to the passenger door. She unlocked the doors and got in, putting her bag in the passenger footwell while moving the few things that were in the passenger seat. She closed the door with the same amount of force she usually did, shutting with a solid thunk. Jasper carefully slid in and gently (compared to her) closed his door.
“Tryin’ to prevent my escape?” he teased.
“Hmm?” she questioned, then realized she had just locked the doors, “oh, habit.” she said letting out a weak chuckle.
He shrugged, “'sa good habit to have.”
There were a few moments of silence.
“…what was I saying?” she asked.
“Somethin' 'bout ‘not causing permanent damage’?”
“Oh, right. Well, the thing is, when I get mad, like really mad or upset, like a lot of people, I tend lash out and say some nasty things I don’t really mean. So, when I feel myself getting to that point, I just shut up and walk away before I say something I can’t take back.”
“Smart,” he replied.
“Yeah, learned it from my mom.” Aušra said fondly, “she did the same thing. The less words she used, the more pissed she was. If she was in an argument and then all of a sudden she went silent, that’s when you knew you’d Fucked Up.”
He smiled softly at that, “…so what pissed you off?… if you don’t mind me askin'?”
She took a deep breath and let it out with a raspberry (lips, not tongue).
He already knows.
He already knows, and he’s still here.
That thought helped loosen her tongue, “Jessica being an ace-phobic asshole.”
Jasper tilted his head. His expression open and curious, willing her to elaborate (if she wished).
He already knows, and he’s still here.
She looked out the front windshield, still keeping her face mostly turned to him. It was easier to do if she didn’t have to look directly at him.
She went into her ‘script’ about asexuality. It wasn’t really scripted —she’d never actually planned it out, or written it down— it was just what she had found (over many years of experience) was the most efficient way to get the information across without being too personal about it. Jasper patiently listened as she went through her little ‘spiel’.
Then she paraphrased Jessica’s words (he obviously already knew exactly what she’d said).
Aušra let out a huffy groan when she finished, still trying to release the built up pressure inside. She wasn’t actively angry anymore, but it had dredged up a lot of unpleasant things that were still stubbornly sticking around. (That was a nice thing about her anger, it may be hot and explosive, but it usually burned itself out just as quickly as it started.)
“That’s shitty,” he replied sympathetically, but there was an edge of displeasure in his tone that kept it from feeling like pity.
Aušra shrugged with resignation, “yeah, well, it’s just how the world is… unfortunately. I can’t blame her too much.”
She still wasn’t looking directly at him.
“I can,” he mumbled emphatically.
A laugh unexpectedly and violently erupted out of her with such force it induced a slight coughing fit.
“Love you,” she said once she was mostly in control of her faculties again.
She chanced a glance over to him, he was smiling shyly looking out the windshield. If she focused, she thought she could see a small blush starting on his cheeks.
“But seriously, don’t blame Jessica too much.”
“Why not?”
“Simplified? I don’t know… it’s like, she’s a kid and this is probably her first time hearing about something like this. People usually aren’t the best when experiencing something for the first time that changes their worldview so much. If she’d grown up in a really accepting, open family with a lot of different examples of different types of relationships then I would expect more of her, but she didn’t; so she’s going off what she knows. She’s not trying to be an asshole, she’s just confused and trying to comprehend something that’s brand new to her. That doesn’t excuse what she says, or make it hurt any less, but it makes it understandable to me.
“Like I remember the first time I was introduced to something non-heterosexual. I wasn’t as dismissive as her, but I probably said some rude things not realizing that they were rude? So, for now, I won’t be too harsh on her… but if she continues to be an ass, then I will.”
“That’s… very mature of you.”
She shrugged.
The bell rang, ending lunch. Jasper moved to get out but stopped when Aušra didn’t.
“You comin'?”
She shook her head, “no. I’m done for today.”
He gave her a confused look.
“I may be calm now —my anger is usually explosive and tends to burn out fast— but, I don’t really have a ‘flight response’ and my body is still in ‘fight mode’ even if I’m no longer actively upset. I’m just gonna go home.”
She was sure he could feel it. The itching in her muscles, the tension in her hands, the need to move.
His face fell somewhat, “oh… what are you gonna do at home?”
“Probably martial arts to satisfy my fight response, then some meditation.”
He perked up almost imperceptibly at that. Jasper seemed to want to ask something, but couldn’t get the words out. So, Aušra took a guess.
“Wanna play hooky with me?” she asked with a conspiratorial smile.
He looked at the school building for a moment, before turning back to her. The hesitation was now replaced with a small smirk, “sure.”
“You wanna take your car?”
“No, Emmett will need it to come over this afternoon… that is, if you still want us to come over?”
Aušra laughed, “dude, I literally just invited you to skip and come over. Of course y’all are still okay to come.”
“I didn’t want to be presumptuous.”
“You’re good, what about your bag?”
He waved his hand dismissively, “they’ll grab it for me.”
She nodded.
“Seatbelt,” she said as she started the car. Hers was already on (another habit).
———•<•>•———
“So what kind of martial arts are you going to do?” Jasper asked as she came down the stairs from changing.
She shrugged, adjusting her ‘work’ t-shirt as it felt crooked on her body, “maybe the meteor hammer, that’s what I’ve been doing lately, but I don’t know if it’ll work.”
“Is that like a technique or special stance or something?” he asked as he followed her to the basement steps.
“It’s a weapon.”
“Oh, guess I should’ve figured from the word ‘hammer’.”
“It’s not a hammer,” she said looking over her shoulder at him, amused.
He exaggeratedly raised an eyebrow, she just smiled.
“You‘ll see. The name tells you absolutely nothing about the weapon, but at the same time, when you see it you’re like, ‘ohhhh, I get it now’.”
She led him to her ‘dojo’/exercise room in the basement. He seemed both surprised and unsurprised at the amount of equipment. She didn’t have much, a pull-up bar, bench press, a pole (she liked pole-dancing tricks, sue her), practice dummy, and a punching bag, but most of the large room was open space.
Jasper’s eyes swept the room, lingering the longest on the pole. He wasn’t gawking at it, but he was definitely eyeing it with confusion.
“It’s for pole dancing.”
“…what? Oh yeah, I know that…” he trailed off, asking the silent question of, ‘but why do you have one?’
“Pole dancing is great for core and arm strength. Lots of good body weight exercises.”
He looked off to the side, considering what she said.
“Never thought about it like that, suppose you’re right.”
She walked over to the cabinet in the corner and pulled out her real meteor hammer as well as the trainer. He watched as she pushed the practice dummy to the middle of the room, putting extra weights on the base to keep it stable.
“This,” she said, stepping back from the dummy and tossing him the actual meteor hammer (sans rope), “is a meteor hammer.”
He caught it easily.
“Yeah… definitely wouldn’t’ve guessed that this is what it would look like,” he said turning the 14oz metal ball over in his hands.
He looked up at her, at the rope in her hands, then to the bean-filled sock tied to the end, then finally back up to her, a clear question in his eyes. Again, she just smiled then gestured for him to back up.
Holding the rope in both hands, she used her right hand to spin the weight up letting the rope catch on her raised knee. The rope slipped off her knee, shooting the weight forward. She pulled back hard with her left hand causing the weight to swing back towards her. She moved so the weight and lead swung and draped over the left side of her neck. She twisted her arms and torso to follow the direction of the weight causing it to swing up behind her back. Twisting back, the weight came back around causing it to do almost a figure 8. She twisted her left foot 180° and leapt, spinning herself 360° in a way reminiscent of a jumping spin kick. As she landed, the momentum brought the weight from behind her, up and over her left shoulder again, as she used her right hand to fling the whole thing forwards in a downwards arc towards the target. The weight landed squarely on top of the dummy’s head.
“And that’s what they do.” she said, moments after contact was made.
She looked over at Jasper, he was looking at her wide-eyed. After a few moments, he clapped lightly.
“Impressive,” he said, “I definitely get the name now,” he then tilted his head and added, “…don’t know how practical it’d be in a fight…”
She grinned almost manically, and turned back to the dummy. She kicked the trainer up, immediately whipping it into a horizontal spin; then shot it out. It wrapped around the neck of the dummy at least three times before she yanked the whole thing down and towards her. The dummy toppled immediately despite its weight and the extra weights she’d put on it.
She looked over to Jasper with a smug grin, his eyes were comically wide.
“…I stand corrected,” he said after a few moments of dumbfounded silence.
The meteor hammer didn’t really fufill her need for fighting, so she ended up switching to the punching bag.
After about twenty-five minutes of absolutely wailing on it, Aušra felt that she had sufficiently drained herself of the urge to fight. (It had technically gone away at around the ten minute mark, but she continued to fully ensure it wasn’t going to come back). She was sweating, the back of her shirt starting to cling to her rather uncomfortably.
“Imma rinse off,” she said in between deep breaths.
She unwrapped her hands, balling up the material and throwing it back into the cabinet. (Typically she wouldn’t have bothered wrapping them to begin with, but with Jasper watching she’d decided to do things ‘by the book’.)
He followed her upstairs, then a bit awkwardly took a seat on the couch when she prompted.
After returning from a quick shower, they both settled on the living room floor for some meditation.
Aušra could do with a realignment, it wouldn’t be quite as good inside, but it was still raining a good amount and she didn’t feel like changing again so soon.
She put on some white noise over her stereo system, just loud enough to block out the buzzing of appliances.
“You know what you’re doing?” she asked as she sat down next to Jasper.
“Yeah… more or less.” he responded.
She gave a lazy thumbs up, then closed her eyes. Taking long, deep breaths, she systematically relaxed her muscles on each exhale. Once she was fully relaxed —or at least, as relaxed as she was going to get with an ‘audience’— she pushed out her own aura. She immediately felt Jasper’s own beside her.
(She had gotten to know his jėga rather intimately as of late. With the raised heart rates and all the sweat heightening people’s scents, PE was… a challenge for him, to say the least. Since he was her friend (and because having him lose control and kill someone at all —let alone in the middle of the school day with fifty plus witnesses— was not a desirable event) she had taken it upon herself to help. She helped the same way she had the first day they met; by transferring part of his sense of smell to her. Not a lot, usually only a 25-35% transfer (if she had to guess), but it was enough to allow him to relax more.)
It was distracting, having his energy so close while trying to realign. Multiple times she caught herself not actually realigning and just sort of… feeling him.
In this state she could sense a lot more of him. She could feel the light phantom weight of his gift, like the finest of mists, surrounded her. No sensations being passed along, just there. She wondered how she felt to him.
Was she as ‘tranquil’ as before? Probably not; not with all the stray thoughts currently drifting through.
It was difficult to put into words how it felt to have their auras interacting in this way. Flowing and mixing like where two waterways met. Oddly intimate. She supposed this might be the closest she’d ever get to knowing how atoms felt when they were bonded. Sharing the same space, sharing electrons. Separate, but still one.
Could he feel it?
(Of course, she had done this type of thing before, mostly with Misha and Aurelia, and it was always intimate; but it felt different with Jasper. Maybe because she hadn’t done it in a while?)
She went back to realigning.
Who knew how much time had passed —thirty minutes? an hour? ten minutes? she couldn’t be sure— but a good while later she found herself balanced enough and her body getting antsy to move again.
She pulled herself out of her trance. She sat there for maybe a minute, readjusting to the loss of sensation. Eventually, she stretched her arms up high, arching back slightly, letting out a strangled groan before flopping completely back; lying on the floor, legs still crisscross.
Jasper leaned back on his hands, stretching out his legs.
“That was nice… Bit weird with you here.”
She saw him go a bit stiff out of the corner of her eye.
“…u —oh?” he said quietly, almost so quiet she wouldn’t have heard him. It was more of an involuntary sound than a word.
“Not in a bad way!” she emphasized, “it was nice, just different… I wouldn’t mind doing it again sometime —if you wanted.”
He paused for a moment, “I think I’d like that.”
They occupied the rest of their time before school ended just chatting. Eventually, they made their way out to the garage.
Jasper made good progress on his ‘prototype’ box over the next few days. He ended up tweaking the design slightly when he kept having issues gluing together the mitered joints. She helped him (read: she did them herself while he watched) do full-blind dovetails. She’d suggested a normal dovetail, but he didn’t want the joinery showing. It was a lot more work (especially with a pentagonal shape) but she understood, she had also grown up in a time where dovetail joints were the ‘cheap’ option.
About a week later, the final box was completed (with just a few days to spare). It was very pretty. The cherry scraps he had selected worked really well together (she was happy to learn he liked a lot of color variation and chatoyancy like she did). He had been devastated when he slipped with the chisel —while cleaning the excess glue off the inside of the joints —and took a small chunk out of the bottom. She was (thankfully) able to convince him to not scrap the whole thing, starting completely over; and instead suggested covering the inside with some black velvet to hide the mark.
(“The most important skill you’ll learn with woodworking —with any craft, really— is learning how to fix and hide your mistakes.”)
———•<•>•———
Aušra and Jasper were hanging out all the time now. Well, they had been hanging out all the time, but now, they were also hanging out at her house.
After he had finished his keepsake box, he’d been a bit weird about coming over, never asking unless he had ‘a reason.’
He had no issue inviting her over to ‘just hang out’, but if it was her place they had to be doing something —watch a movie, go on a walk, play a new board game he just bought (she had successfully indoctrinated him into the world of wonderfully weird board games and he seemed to be getting addicted)— don’t get her wrong, she loved doing things with him, she was just confused as to why. It was like he was worried she’d say no if they didn’t have something planned (which was ridiculous).
But all that changed when he called her after school one day. He had been weird over the phone, claiming that ‘nothing’s up’ —he never called ‘just to chat’. Ever— and being awkward and cagey. She had been eventually able to coax it out of him (probably because she was getting seriously concerned and had certainly sounded it).
Edward, apparently (and to be honest, unsurprisingly), was in a bad mood and making Jasper’s problem (no one else was home at the time).
Jasper had asked if he could come over and, of course, she said yes.
She had been working and he just watched her while she did (he pretended not to, but she knew). After that they literally just hung out. No movie or game, just them.
That was the first time they had been truly alone.
(At his house there had always been someone else home, even if they were on the other side of the house.)
(Even when they had played hooky, they had been ‘chaperoned’. (She’d had her suspicions —which were later confirmed by Tamsus— that Emmett had been watching from afar).)
After that day, Jasper had no qualms about coming over to chill. In fact, he came over very frequently.
Notes:
A/N: that lunch scene brought to you by an amalgamation of so many different actual conversations I’ve personally had. (I got genuinely pissed off while writing it.) Literally could not tell you how many times people have said to me (when I was a fully grown adult)
In case you missed the link before: This is the trick Aušra did with the meteor hammer, I hope I described it okay (I probably didn’t). Thank you @instructor_bensei for the YouTube videos walking through your “unnamed nasties”.
Chapter 20: Fluffernutter
Summary:
Summary: A series of fluffy vignettes. And Aušra has a supposition proven wrong.
Notes:
A/N: These are scenes that I wanted to happen but couldn’t find a good place for them in the main plot. Each full scene is separated by my typical thingy with smaller inter-scene separations with ‘. . . . . .’ (General timeframe from January–first week of April, they happen mostly in order).
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Aušra was focused —she had been for a good bit— and Emmett was so ready.
He’d been trying to scare her for weeks at that point, but, no matter how hard he tried, how quiet he was, it never worked. He’d never even gotten close. (He did, once, actually. He had gotten about a three feet away, before she said (without turning around), ‘yes, Emmett?’ He had been so put out.)
But now?
Now, she was distracted —completely absorbed in whatever she was reading. Alice had literally just walked by and Aušra didn’t even acknowledge her. Now was the perfect time, Emmett just had to wait for his moment.
She was standing up at the end of the island; bent over resting her elbows on the counter. Her fingers were pressed to her ears and she was humming softly as she read. (She did that when she was trying hard to concentrate.)
Jasper knew that he’d been trying, and tried dissuading him on multiple occasions, but Emmett was determined at this point to at least see her startle .
She stood up, straightening up her back and rolling her neck. She picked up the paper(s) and turned, back completely facing Emmett. He could hear Jasper returning from his room.
It was now or never.
Emmett quickly moved from his spot, not quite using his vampire speed, but pretty close.
He grabbed her shoulders and yelled.
Instead of the squeal and jump he was expecting, her hands locked around his wrist.
. . . . . .
The grab took Aušra by surprise. She had been ignoring her sensing runes, using most of her brain power trying to digest the dense scientific paper she’d been reading.
Her body moved before she could really think.
She grabbed the wrist on her shoulder, pivoting her body until it met the one behind her; using the momentum and force to throw them over herself. She had just enough thought to aim away from the counter and furniture.
They, Emmett?, landed with a thud and an ‘oof’.
Finally, her brain fully caught up to her body.
“Shit, Emmett, I’m so sorry!”
He laid there on the floor —arms and legs spread wide— with a weird, dazed smile on his face.
“Are you okay?” she asked when he didn’t respond.
She heard Jasper step off the stairs.
“I told you,” he chastised.
Aušra looked at Jasper confused.
“Told 'im scaring you be a bad idea.” he looked at Emmett and pointedly continued, “but he didn’t listen.”
Aušra offered Emmett her hand and helped him up, apologizing yet again.
Emmett chuckled good-naturedly, “you’re fine,” nodding over at Jasper, “like he said, I’d been warned and still went for it. That’s on me.”
There was a gleam in his eye that Aušra couldn’t quite place.
. . . . . .
She placed it.
He had tried sneaking up on her three more times in the past hour. (Presumably to scare her again).
“Emmett, what do you want?”
He feigned innocence (poorly), “what do you mean?”
She leveled him an unimpressed look, “dude.”
He started to look abashed; an expression she had barely seen on him before.
When he didn’t respond she made a guess, “do you want me to throw you again?”
His mild abashment turned to full-on embarrassment, “…maybe…” he muttered.
“Okay.”
“Wait. Really?” he asked shocked.
“Yeah? Though we should probably go to the basement or somewhere with less breakables.”
Emmett whooped.
Aušra spent the next ten to fifteen minutes doing various throws and pins on Emmett. He seemed to be enjoying himself thoroughly.
She heard the front door open.
“We’re back!” Alice singingly announced.
“Hey babe,” Rosalie greeted.
Aušra had just executed a headlock throw on Emmett. He was on his back, with her pinning him across the upper torso with her body in a head lock. His face was, for all intents and purposes, in her tits.
She looked over at Rosalie. Her face was neutral with a small curl to her lips, but there was a sharpness in her gaze. Aušra immediately dropped the hold and got off him.
“Hey Rose!” Emmett exclaimed from the floor, not bothering to get up. “Have a good shopping trip?”
“Yeah! We found so many cute outfits!” Alice answered. “…what were you guys doing?”
“Aušra was showing me all the throws and takedowns she knows!”
“She can throw you? You can throw him?” Alice asked in awe.
“Yeah,” she nodded, “a lot of throws use leverage and momentum to allow you to take on larger opponents. Though, I could probably still do it if I didn’t have those on my side.”
“Oh that’s cool! Wait, really??”
Aušra nodded.
“Do you think you could pick me up?” Alice asked a little coyly.
Aušra chuckled, “absolutely, I could throw you into the air and catch you.”
Her eyes sparkled, “how do you know that?”
“Because I’ve done it to people bigger than you.”
Her face scrunched, “wait, when did you do that?”
“Ballroom dance class.”
“You threw people while waltzing?” Emmett questioned.
Aušra chuckled again, “no, swing dancing—”
“You know how to swing dance!?” Alice exclaimed.
“Yeah, there were never enough guys so we typically took turns learning the ‘guy’ and ‘girl’ parts.”
“Can we swing dance now?” Alice asked with so much hope and enthusiasm in her voice.
“Uhh, sure.” she shrugged.
Alice squealed and scampered up the steps yelling, “let me get changed! … Edward!”
. . . . . .
Alice was a talented dancer —Aušra expected nothing less. Exuberantly and near effortlessly being twirled, flipped, dipped, and lifted. (They had quickly gone over beforehand which moves they knew and were comfortable doing.)
Emmett and Rosalie joined the impromptu dance session. (Mostly because of Emmett’s prompting). They did a dance that they clearly had done many times before. It was less ‘acrobatic’ than hers and Alice’s, but just as smooth.
Aušra took some breaks allowing Jasper —and eventually Edward, they were using his records— to cut in with Alice. At some point Esme and Carlisle, when they came home, joined in the fun as well for a song or two.
During one of her breaks, while Alice was dancing with Edward, Jasper approached Aušra.
“Would you like to dance?” he asked, then tacked on, “with me?”
“oh, uh—” she stuttered; eyes going wide and something like embarrassment rising within her.
“You don’t have to,” he said sounding a little panicked. He looked down at the ground, clearly rebuking himself, “sorry. I’ve made you uncomfortable, just—”
She cut him off before he could spiral more, “no, it’s not—” he looked up at her confused, “it’s just that—” she groaned, “I literally don’t know any of the steps for the ladies.”
His expression gained a little amusement, “really?”
She could feel her face heating up to an uncomfortable degree, “yeah…” she sighed.
Jasper was trying to suppress a smile.
“Like I said, there were never enough guys for the amount ladies. And since I was one of the only women able to do the lifts, I was always paired up with a lady, so I never really learned the ladies part of the steps…”
“I see… well, there’s no time like the present to learn— if you want to, that is.”
She looked at him curiously, contemplating it for a second, before finally agreeing. She held out her hand.
“I will try my best to not step on your feet, but I make no promises.” she joked.
He took her hand and smirked doing a small bow, “step away.”
She managed to only step on his feet a few times.
———•<•>•———
“Hey, Emmett,” Aušra said randomly while they were playing Mario Kart.
“Yeah?”
“Can you do the tiddy dance?”
He paused the game while whipping his head to face her.
“What?”
“The tiddy dance. I’m sure you can.”
“I don’t have boobs.”
“But you have tits.”
They both glanced down to where his shirt was pulled tight around his chest.
“I still have no clue what the hell you’re talking about.”
“You know, the tiddy dance,” she replied, individually flexing each pectoral.
“Oh! That! Yeah, I can do that.” He then demonstrated.
“Nice!”
They went back to Mario Kart.
———•<•>•———
“You know what’s funny?” Edward quietly said to no one in particular. He had that air about him that he always did when he was going to say something that’d make him feel morally superior.
Jasper sighed, he really wasn’t in the mood for this today (or any day, really).
“What’re you yabbering about now, Edward?”
“Oh, nothing… just how it’s funny that you all accuse me of ‘being creepy’ when you’re the one who watches Aušra sleep.”
He looked up at Edward, completely unamused, “Edward…”
“What?” he replied, bringing his hands up in a placating gesture, all ‘innocence’. “I’m just saying…”
“No, you’re not ‘just saying’. You’re trying to get a rise outta me and make yourself feel superior. So what? I’ve watched her in her sleep like twice —when she’s fallen asleep during a movie, at our house. And I’m not just staring at her the entire time; I don’t think that’s creepy, and if it is, then Alice is also creepy cause she’s done the same thing —hell, I’ve seen Esme and Carlisle do it!”
Edward was about to respond but Jasper didn’t let him.
“It’s not like I’m following her home from school or while she runs errands, or watching her while she’s alone in her own home,” he said very pointedly.
Edward grit his teeth, poorly suppressing a sneer. He stood there for a few moments debating whether to retort. Jasper stared him down in challenge. Eventually, Edward gave in and stormed off.
‘Dick.’
———•<•>•———
Jasper literally couldn’t help it. Hated how often he was ‘forced’ into eavesdropping due to his enhanced hearing.
Currently, he was standing diagonally from the entrance to girl’s bathroom, waiting on Aušra.
They had been walking to lunch together when she pardoned herself to talk to a sophomore, Jesse. She had gym the same time block as them, though Jasper was fairly positive neither of them had ever actually spoken to the girl. Jesse was reluctant and untrusting (the kind that someone who had been bullied frequently had when someone new was being nice) about talking to Aušra at first, but had agreed.
Aušra felt awkward in the way she did when she was trying not to make the other person uncomfortable.
“Okay, I’m not sure the best way to put this…” she quietly started, “so I’m just gonna come out and say it, and it’ll probably sound really weird, but, uh, whatever.”
Jesse was bracing herself for harm.
“Uh… so, you really shouldn’t be using compression bandages to bind your chest…”
Panic lanced through Jesse. Jasper heard the younger girl start shuffling around uncomfortably, likely trying to plan her escape.
“I—I don’t,” Jesse stammered.
“Hey, hey, it ain’t none of my business why. You’ll get no judgment from me, okay?”
Jesse paused. The panic was still there, but was now accompanied by confused intrigue.
When Jesse didn’t say anything else, Aušra quietly started again, “compression bandages aren’t meant to go around ribcages. They restrict your breathing and all sort of other nasty things; but… I could make you something that would be better and still bind your chest down.”
Jesse was quiet for a moment; appraising Aušra. She was still suspicious.
Jasper could sense nothing but the purest intentions from Aušra (unsurprisingly) and decided to help out. (Also he didn’t like hearing the girl subtly wheezing throughout the day and ever since she started binding her chest her moods had been less melancholy and dysphoric). He pushed the care and trustworthiness Aušra was emanating onto Jesse.
Eventually, after some back and forth, Jesse agreed. Aušra quickly explained what would need to happen (she needed measurements since Jesse didn’t know hers off the top of her head).
. . . . . .
Three days after talking to Jesse, they met up again, but this time before school.
Aušra handed over the two binders she’d made and went over their ‘rules.’
“Yeah, wearing them for more than eight hours wont be an issue, my mom would fucking flip if she knew about them,” Jesse said.
Aušra commiserated, then explained how to put them on.
“Thank you,” she said with a shy smile.
(Aušra was pretty sure that Jesse probably didn’t really want to go by ‘she’, but hadn’t been told differently so…)
“Of course!” waving her hand dismissing the notion of needing thanks, “I’m just happy to help. Also, if you can’t wash them at your house, bring them to me and I can do it at mine.”
“Seriously,” she pressed, “t-this, it— it means a lot.” She pressed her lips together trying to stop them from quivering.
Aušra smiled warmly, “no problem. It won’t always be like this, ya know. There are so many open-minded people in the world. You just have to find them. ”
Jesse nodded, lips still tight.
“Now go try one on, let’s see how well it works.”
It worked perfectly.
———•<•>•———
“Hey, Aušra!” Emmett called out as she was about to head upstairs.
She walked around to the living room. He was playing a video game she didn’t recognize.
When Emmett saw her he exclaimed, “watch this!”
Aušra watched in bewilderment as he then immediately ran his character off an edge, killing them.
He looked back at her expectantly with a big grin on his face.
She laughed in amused confusion, he joined in.
———•<•>•———
Jasper grumbled again. That was the third time within the past ten minutes. He was scowling at the miniature in his hands.
“Yes, Jasper?” Aušra asked, not even trying to keep the amusement out of her voice.
He looked over with a grumpy pout .
“What’s wrong?”
“Everything,” he grunted.
She let out a huffy giggle —his pout intensifying at the sound. She wasn’t entirely sure if he was playing up his frustration for her amusement, or if he was actually that frustrated.
“Let me see,” she said, holding out her hand. He passed her the figurine.
She looked it over. It wasn’t bad, a little messy, but nothing a little touch up wouldn’t fix.
“Looks fine.”
“No it doesn’t, it’s a mess. I don’t know how you’re supposed to paint such small details. It’s impossible.”
She raised her hands and with a ‘not-my-fault’ look said, “I told you not to start off with a small mini. They’re hard on beginners.”
He sighed wearily, “I know, but I wanted a challenge.”
She looked over at his station, “which brush are you using to try and get clean lines between the colors?”
He picked up a small brush with short bristles, presenting it to her.
She clicked her tongue, “there’s one of your issues. These don’t really do ‘fine lines’ very well,” she looked around and picked up a few different brushes, “give these a try, they’re better suited to the job.”
He took them, rotating each one as he inspected the bristles, then shrugged.
The finished miniature looked much cleaner.
———•<•>•———
Aušra was excited, Jasper had finally agreed to go to the flea market with her. She wasn’t setting up a shop this time, just browsing. In preparation for being around a lot of people, she was slowly transferring some of Jasper’s sense of smell to herself.
She pulled onto the highway. It was surprising empty, just one other car in sight. It had been raining heavily the past couple of days, though it was only lightly raining now, and the road was rather saturated with large puddles.
They drove peacefully for a few miles before disaster struck.
The other vehicle, which was a few hundred feet ahead of them, drove over a large puddle. They hydroplaned and started severely fishtailing.
Aušra took her foot off her own car’s gas pedal.
The other car’s brake lights illuminated and her heart dropped.
Time slowed as she saw the car begin to tip, the passenger side tires leaving the ground.
Aušra started to apply the brakes.
Time caught up, as the rest of the accident seemed to happen at double speed; the car flipped, then rolled a few times before coming to a stop on the roof.
Luckily, Aušra was able to stop in time, pulling over behind it and setting her hazards.
She looked to Jasper who was sitting stock still, petrified.
Caring more about him not killing someone than possibly being found out, she immediately ripped as much of his sense of smell away from him. (Not that he was breathing anyway, but she wasn’t taking chances.)
She unbuckled, opened the door, and tossed her phone to Jasper in one fluid motion.
“Stay here. Call 911,” she ordered before slamming the door shut.
. . . . . .
Jasper’s hands were shaking slightly. If his heart still beat, it would’ve been pounding out of his chest.
He hastily called 911 and explained the situation.
Ambulance twelve minutes out.
Aušra was saying something to the driver, he wasn’t sure what, but it sounded soothing and confident. He was just focused on not breathing. He shut off the air vents.
Aušra turned back to their car, motioning and mouthing to ‘pop the trunk.’
He did as he was told, leaning over the middle console to press the button on the keys.
‘Ambulance?’ she mouthed and signed to him.
‘About ten minutes,’ he signed and mouthed back.
(They have never discussed sign language proficiency before.)
She nodded, jogging to the now open trunk. She grabbed some sort of container out along with two shiny sheets? —Mylar blankets, his brain supplied a few moments later.
She was moving with confidence and purpose. Radiating a calm assurance.
He heard the snap of gloves.
There wasn’t an ounce of panic in her, just rock solid determination and the steady hum of someone who knew what they were doing.
(That’s a trauma response if he’d ever seen one.)
The man was already standing and she had him move to the shoulder and lie down on one of the blankets, covering him with the other. She cut up his pant leg with safety shears, and that’s when he saw it.
The Blood.
The fabric around the man’s thigh was completely saturated with it. Dark and thick. The now exposed wound —high on the thigh— was slowly pulsing out blood. It flowed down and pooled on the blanket.
Nicked vein.
He should look away. He should really look away, but he couldn’t help it. His mouth watered. He couldn’t stop himself as he inhaled deeply.
Aušra must have some god-tier cabin filters because he couldn’t smell anything.
Discomfort was flaring up in Aušra, similar to the kind she got when a smell was overwhelming, like when someone wore too much perfume or sprayed too much air freshener. He looked over to find her sticking her fingers into the wound.
The man cried out in pain as she scooped blood from it. She leaned down a bit, scooping the wound again. The blood spattered onto her arms and face —when did she put safety glasses on?
She was talking again, trying to calm the driver whose panic had spiked as soon as he saw the wound. He was squirming now, making it difficult for her to do anything.
Jasper could at least help here; he pushed calm over the man, and just a bit of something to try and take the edge off the pain.
The second the man calmed, Aušra dove right back into what she was doing. She scooped out some more blood then shoved her finger into the wound, likely putting pressure on the bleeding vessel. She grabbed a pack of gauze, ripping it open one-handed using her teeth. She took the end and started shoving it into the wound.
She worked with terrifying efficiency now that she no longer had to keep the man calm. She ripped open another packet of gauze and packed that into the wound as well.
She placed a plastic water bottle on top of the packed wound and wrapped it up with some sort of compression bandage.
Red and blue lights flashed in the rear view mirror. He hadn’t even noticed the siren blaring until now.
Thank God.
. . . . . .
The ambulance had come and gone. Aušra looked down at herself as Charlie’s cruiser door closed behind her. Blood splattered across her arms and torso. The knees of her pants were soaked with it. Her glasses had some on them too.
She sighed, starting to pull herself out of ‘crisis mode.’
She shuffled back to her car. She wanted to change, needed to. The smell, it was overwhelming, how much she reeked of blood. It clung to her and filled the air. It felt like she would never be free from the cloying stench that had coated the entirety of her nose.
She sneezed.
A muffled ‘bless you,’ came from inside her car. Oh, right, Jasper was still in her car. He must’ve used his powers to have people ignore him. Smart.
All the more reason to change.
She walked to the still open trunk. Her gloves had already been disposed of in the ambulance trash (they took her Mylar blankets too). She put her first aid kit back into its place. Pulling out a pack of baby wipes, she started wiping the blood off her skin. Each dirty wipe getting thrown into an old grocery bag.
The next step was to actually change. Typically, she’d open the passenger side car doors and use them as a sort of privacy screen, but, as that would expose Jasper to the blood-soaked air for far too long, (even if she had over half of his smell at the moment) that was out. So —using her disguise rune— she hid all the other runes on her body, along with the myriad of unexplainable scars. (She also moved more to passenger side for at least a modicum of privacy from the road). Her jeans went first, being replaced by a pair of gym shorts. Next was the shirt, which was just replaced by an older, rattier t-shirt. Sneakers and socks were swapped with sandals.
The bloody clothes (and shoes) were put into a separate bag. She wiped off her knees —which still had a little blood on them. Both bags were tied shut and put into the trunk. She shut it and released the weak entrapment spell she had put on the car (an extra precaution, in case the smell transfer didn’t work enough to keep Jasper from going feral.)
She plopped down into her seat (perhaps a touch dramatically) and pulled the door shut quickly.
She let out another sigh, then partially turned to Jasper, “are you cool if we just go home?”
“Yep, I was just 'bout to suggest that.”
“Cool.”
After a few minutes of driving, Jasper broke the semi-awkward silence, “soooo…”
Aušra raised her brows and glanced over at him to indicate she was listening.
“Have you done that before?”
She made a questioning noise in the back of her throat, “done what?”
“Y’know…”
“I really dont,” she said truthfully, “Listen, Jasper, I did a lot of things, and you’re not being specific. Like, are you asking if I’ve ever packed a man’s leg wound after he got into a car accident in which the car rolled several times because he slammed on his brakes while hydroplaning and fishtailing? Or are you asking if I’ve ever changed in public, or given a statement to police, or done first aid on a stranger, or just first aid in general? My brain is far too chaotic right now for me to try and figure it out, so please, can you just be direct?” she asked.
“Oh, uh… first aid in general, I guess,” he said with a slightly apologetic tone.
“Then yes, I’ve done it before.”
“Where’d you learn how to do that?”
“First aid classes and stuff. I was a lifeguard.” Which, was mostly the truth.
“Huh…”
“…‘Huh’ what?”
“Hmm?” he hummed in response, clearly not focused. He snapped back to attention, “oh, uh… 's nothin'…”
There were a few semi-tense moments of quiet, before he looked like he was going to speak again. She beat him to it.
“Ca–can we not talk about this right now?”
She was not prepared —mentally or otherwise— to go down any line of questioning at the moment.
He was quiet for a moment, she could tell he was studying her. Finally, after what felt like ages, he answered, “…sure.”
“Thanks.”
———•<•>•———
“… A motorcycle?” Aušra clarified, incredulously.
“Yep.” Jasper responded.
“You know those things are death-on-wheels, right?”
“I mean, if you’re not being careful, yeah, I guess.”
“It doesn’t matter how safe you’re being, cause there’s dumbasses on the road who aren’t,” she countered.
(She wasn’t worried about his physical safety; he was less likely to be hurt than she was. She was just surprised that no one in the family opposed. Motorcycle accidents are often extremely fatal; how is one supposed to explain why they’re not even injured?? Cars, at least, were plausible; but a motorcycle?)
(She had a motorcycle once, years ago, and that’s what happened to her. Except it wasn’t explaining the lack of injury; it was trying to explain why she was no longer severely brain damaged to EMTs. She had to wipe their memories and skip town (too many people knew; it was a small town and a major accident). Now, she only went riding with Aurelia or Misha present. She missed it though.)
Jasper made a thoughtful face and shrugged, “that’s a risk I’m willin’ to take.”
“At least tell me you have the proper protective gear?”
“Of course, I’m not stupid.”
“That’s debatable,” she muttered, but still purposefully loud enough for him to hear.
He clutched his hands to his chest, “your words wound me, Aušra.”
“Not as much as a motorcycle accident will,” she snarked back.
He snorted and rolled his eyes.
“You should come over this afternoon,” she said.
“Why?”
“Wow,” she said, dragging out the ‘o’ and emphasizing the second ‘w’, “so suspicious of me! And here I thought we were friends.”
He dramatically raised a brow.
“Obviously it’s so we can go on a ride on your motorcycle.” she said like it truly was obvious.
He looked at her with a face that said, ‘you’ve got to be kidding me.’
She gave him her best shit-eating grin.
“You are so vexing, must you always be?”
“Yes. It is my one purpose on this planet. I was born specifically to vex you in every conceivable way possible.” she cheekily responded.
“Well, it’s certainly annoying.”
“And yet, you keep putting up with it,” she smiled.
“Yeah, well, I am awfully fond of you.”
“Oh, awful is it!” Aušra exclaimed, ramming him playfully with her shoulder.
He allowed the hit to affect him more than it should; moving outwards for a moment before swaying back in and bumping Aušra in return, “terrible, truly.”
She rolled her eyes, but was still smiling, “but seriously, can we go on a ride?”
“Do you even have the proper protective gear?”
“Yeah, obviously, that’s why I’m asking.”
He looked at her bewildered.
“I used to go dirt biking pretty frequently.”
“You have a dirt bike? Isn’t that just as dangerous as a motorcycle?
“Don’t have it anymore, sold it before the move. I’m supposed to go with Leah and Sam sometime, but who knows when that’ll be.”
“Again, aren’t they just as dangerous?”
She shrugged, “maybe, but dirt bikes don’t have to contend with cars.”
He thought about that for a moment, “touché.”
“Sooo, can we go on a ride?” she asked hopefully, batting her eyelashes in a way that was more ‘oh-god-there’s-something-in-my-eyes!’ than seductive or cute.
He let out a tiny snort at her display, “fine.”
“Yessss!”
“But not tonight… would Saturday work for you? We could go on a hike then too.”
“Saturday works great!”
. . . . . .
Jasper arrived at Aušra’s house early Saturday morning. The sun wasn’t even up yet.
Aušra looked good. Leather motorcycle jacket and armored cargo pants that she had tucked into her combat-esque boots. She had on a backpack, a maroon helmet with a blue mirrored visor was sitting next to her on the porch, a pair of gloves sat on top of it. She had her hair in two french braids and was trying a bandana over it.
He lifted his visor and turned off the engine. She smiled at him, picked up her helmet and gloves and hopped down the steps.
“Nice crotch rocket,” she greeted, a large amount of excitement sparking out of her.
Not knowing what else to say, he responded, “uh, thanks.”
“So where we goin’?”
“It’s a surprise—” her excitement was immediately overtaken by anxiety.
Right, she hates surprises.
“—a beach. Well, that depends on your definition of ‘beach’, we’re gonna go to a trail and hike to the coast,” he corrected. “It’s like half a mile hike. There’s more to hike afterwards, if you want.”
“Sounds good to me.”
She pulled on her helmet and gloves as he turned the bike around.
“You ridden passenger before?” he asked.
“What?”
He started to repeat himself when she cut him off, “yeah, I have. It’s been a while though.”
She did that a lot, something to do with ADHD and her ‘brain lagging’.
Jasper kicked up the engine and she climbed on the back.
Oh.
Oh.
Intellectually, he had known that she would be right behind him, but it was much different in practice.
Aušra’s legs were so warm where they touched, even through all the layers. He had forgotten how intimate this actually was. He had done this so many times with Alice that it had lost most sense of that intimacy.
With the slight awkwardness and tingle of nerves, Aušra was likely thinking something similar.
“Where can I hold you?” she asked; her voice was loud enough for him to hear over the engine but still had a softness to it.
Not sure if she would understand him through the helmets (and over the engine), he guided her arms around his chest.
“Ready?” he yelled and signed.
She said and signed back ‘yes.’
He put the bike in gear and took off.
He started out slow, allowing her to adjust and find her balance. When her arms started relaxing he picked up the pace. It was early enough that there were barely any cars on the roads, but he stuck to only 10-15mph above the speed limit.
She was relaxed, pressed against his back; warming him despite the chill morning air.
At some point she started singing —technically, it was more like a half-humming, half-singing hybrid. It wasn’t loud but he could hear it fairly clearly. He didn’t think she was aware she was doing it.
She went through a few songs that were vaguely familiar to him; he had heard her listening to them before. Then she switched to one he knew well —it was from an album she had introduced him to. They listened to it semi-frequently since it fit both their tastes well. He quickly realized that she was just going through the whole album. He couldn’t help himself.
Aušra startled a bit when he started singing along quietly with her. A burst of giddy amusement sparkled around her as she started up again, this time louder.
He wasn’t sure what exactly possessed him but he hit the gas on a long straightaway; getting closer to the speeds he was used to.
Aušra let out a few whoops as thrilled delight poured out of her and into the air that was whipping by them. He serpentined the bike back and forth in their lane, her arms tightening more around him.
. . . . . .
They sat at a weather-worn bench (built there as some sort of Eagle Scout project); having made it to the cliffside just in time to watch the sunrise. Though, they couldn’t actually see the sun itself, as it was overcast that morning. (Which Aušra was glad for —it hadn’t occurred to her until they had gotten to the trail, that Jasper might’ve used this as an opportunity to reveal himself (as a vampire, that is). He didn’t.)
It was still beautiful. The cloud cover along the horizon was thin enough that the sunlight stained them a dusky purple. Shifting to reds, pinks, and oranges as it rose higher. The ocean mirrored the sky in its color display.
Aušra got up and walked close to the drop off, Jasper followed. It was windier there, the air colliding with the rock and being violently forced upwards, just as the waves were. Jasper’s hair whipped around chaotically. He ran his hand through it, gathering up the top in an ineffectual attempt to tame it. She pulled an extra hair tie from her pocket; handing it to him, amused. He took it and tied his hair back into a, well, not into a ponytail because that would imply a long ‘tail’ of hair, which he didn’t have. A ‘deer-tail’? ‘bunny-tail’? Bunny-tail.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in before exhaling with a contented hum. She stood there quietly, with her eyes still closed, for a long moment before looking back up to Jasper. She shot him a quick smile when their eyes met.
At Aušra’s request, they went on a rather long hike after that. She chose a fairly intense trail that required some rock scrambling and water crossing (nothing larger than a large creek). She made sure to verbally and emotionally tell Jasper that she was having a blast.
She wanted to stand at the cliffside again before they left. It was fully overcast now but the wind had died down a bit. Jasper was good enough to oblige her. Aušra stood closer to the edge than she had before. Watching the waves crash into the rocks. It was hypnotizing.
Jump.
She sighed, ignoring the impulse.
Jump
Jump
Jump
She wasn’t going to.
Jump Jump Jump Jump Jump Jump Jump jumpjumpjumpjumpjump JUMP!
A hand placed on her shoulder brought her back to her body. Was she closer to the edge now? She couldn’t tell. If she was, it wasn’t by much, maybe an inch, but still. She allowed Jasper to gently pull her away.
———•<•>•——————•<•>•———
Aušra arrived at the meet up spot at La Push around 10am the Saturday before spring break. Leah was leaning against her dad’s truck talking to some of the others. (Emily, Jared, and one other girl who she couldn’t remember the name of (later reminded it was Paige).) Leah waved.
She questioned Sam’s whereabouts once she got to the group. Leah explained that he had ‘contracted the plague’ and had been extremely sick for over a week, and that he refused to go to the doctor. Though she did threaten that if he wasn’t better by Tuesday (the ten day mark), she was, ‘going to haul his ass to the hospital by force.’
Jared laughed at that, and asked how she planned to do that when he had ‘at least seven inches and fifty pounds on her.’ Which, was how Aušra learned that Sam had an unexpected growth spurt since she last saw him, and was now 6’3.
When Leah said she’d just get Aušra to help, she agreed that she’d be down to assist in a kidnapping.
The group chatted a while longer, waiting to see if others showed up. When no one did, they unpacked the bikes and got on the trails.
They stayed as a group for the most part, biking on some of the more traveled trails that had been ‘modified’ for dirt biking (ramps, jumps and such). After two-ish hours, Jared and Paige had to go. The girls drove back with them to refuel (and to make sure they got back safely).
It was Leah who suggested biking the more obscure routes. The trails were rougher and way less maintained —being fully obscured by underbrush in some places— but that’s what added to the fun.
At some point they left the trails completely (extremely unadvised, they know), opting to fully ‘rough it.’
Around one o’clock they stopped in a clearing for snacks. It was a picturesque little spot.
On one side there was a small but fast moving creek with a little waterfall (more like water-tumble). Huge old-growth trees covered in moss and lichen with roots like spider webs. Large ferns and huge swaths of moss scattered about the leaf-littered floor.
Aušra climbed up and took a seat on a semi-flat medium sized boulder. Helping the other girls up when they asked.
They were packing up to leave when she saw it.
Perennial with an erect stem. Glabrous, non-sheathing, compound pinnate leaves with smooth, elliptic leaflets. Pale pink, cyme, corolla, between rotate and bell-shaped.
Polemonium carneum —the great polemonium.
Usually not something particularly of note, but if harvested with a full moon? Now that, was a different story. And it just so happened to be a full moon the coming Monday.
Aušra helped Emily down. Before they took off, she sneakily seared a harmless sigil into the tree next to her bike. (She’d remove it when she returned).
She ended up staying the night and having a sleepover with the two, but left before 10 Sunday morning.
———•<•>•———
Monday morning came and went; being mostly spent getting groceries and then relaxing. Aušra started and completed a 1000 piece puzzle. She took a nap. Antsy for no particular reason. She just wanted to harvest that polemonium and go to bed.
Finally, it was past all forms of twilight and soundly into night. She grabbed a pair of scissors and went to the basement.
Aušra stood in the center of her workshop (it didn’t need to happen there, it just felt more ‘official’ that way). Checking her watch (22:28) and then closing her eyes. Casting the spell, she focused on the magical signature the sigil she left let off. She felt tell-tale tingling throughout her being. Feeling lighter and lighter until suddenly the atmosphere, lighting, and temperature changed instantaneously around her. Her body felt unnaturally heavy for a moment —similar to the feeling of rapidly going uphill on a rollercoaster— before returning to normal.
She opened her eyes to the same clearing as before, success.
Her sensing runes went off.
A snarl and the sound of foot steps behind her.
Before she could so much as turn her head, there was a sharp, lancing pain to the back of her skull and neck, accompanied by the crunching of bones and the squelching of flesh.
And then,
absolute Nothingness.
Notes:
A/N: heheheheheheheh 😈
My vampires are slightly heavier than normal but not ‘stone-heavy’ cause that’d be like 600+lbs and anything they sat on would break!
For those who want to know, the album they were singing is “The Skeleton Man” by Coyote Kid.
Also Aušra says trans rights! (And queer rights in general!) there’s probably gonna be no place in the story to put this so, hidden lore!: Aušra participated in the Stonewall Uprising/riots, she wasn’t there the first day, but once she caught news, and she was nearish she jumped to get “in on the action.”
Emmett running his character off a cliff is directly ripped off from my friend who did the same thing to me. I found it unusually funny and I hope you did too.
It actually was a full moon Monday April 5 2004.
Did I exploit my husband’s botanical biology knowledge from his wildlife degree to decipher that scientific plant description? Yes, yes I did. (Seriously, look at the scientific description for this plant, absolute hieroglyphs.)
Chapter 21: Edward bonus scenes + The List(s)
Summary:
Two Edward POVs (from scenes in chapters 9 and 10)
And,
Edward and Jasper both have lists about Aušra, just for entirely different reasons.
Notes:
Been wanting to post these for a while but there never felt like a good spot for them. When I had last chapter’s cliffhanger planned I asked my friend if I should post this chapter first, then the last chapter, or should I ‘do something evil’ and post this between so y’all have to wait longer for the cliffhanger… bet you can guess how they answered, lol. I hope you can still enjoy the Edward shenanigans and paranoia even with the cliffhanger still unresolved.
Also I’ve been slowly adding to the Lists for probably the last 7 months, so this really has been a long time coming, lol.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
BONUS SCENES
Edward had been pulled along with Esme to do their grocery shopping. She usually had one of them join her just for some extra one-on-one time. He typically didn’t mind going, but he couldn’t help but feel as though he was being babysat.
He knew Esme meant well, she had planned an entire outing just for the two of them the day before. And even though he knew that was mostly because she felt that his recent behavior was due to him ‘feeling ignored,’ he could admit —to himself, at least— that it had been nice. But, grocery shopping the next day felt… excessive.
He smelled Her before he saw her.
Seriously, which obscure deity did I piss off that I’m always running into her.
He heard her round the corner of an aisle. She paused, presumably seeing them.
“What god did I piss off?” she grumbled under her breath.
He froze. Had she heard his thoughts? Could she read his thoughts? There’s no way… right? He fought his rapidly rising panic.
No! No, she hadn’t been able to hear his thoughts before (or at least it seemed like it).
‘Hey! Loser!’ He attempted to project to her. Nothing changed; her heart rate, breathing and gait were all the same.
He let out a small breath of relief. She couldn’t hear his thoughts. He now just prayed that they’d be able to avoid each other further.
Of course she had to walk down the same aisle as them. And of course, Esme wanted to talk to her.
Aušra had acted odd though. He knew she was good with small talk and idle conversation, but she was barely making an effort. Though she kept a ‘smile’ —it was more like the subtlest upturn to her lips and a slight raise to her eyebrows— her eyes looked tired, almost dead. She kept fidgeting too. Small adjustments to her body like her clothes were uncomfortable.
Also, she had a hat and sunglasses on inside a grocery store. Plus she had headphones in but nothing was playing from them. What was that about?
She all but ran away the second Esme ended their conversation.
He kept track of her as she went through the store, (it wasn’t hard, she had started blasting music from her headphones).
About ten minutes after he heard her exit the store, he excused himself to go wait in the car.
He got outside and was surprised to see her still in the parking lot.
She just seemed to be sitting there listening to her music. She had changed genres from hard punk-rock to some sort of disco-synth-esque music.
As he approached Esme’s car (which just so happened to be across the lane from hers) he realized that she must’ve been zoned out. She had barely moved and her gaze was completely unfocused, staring ahead.
He wasn’t planning on watching her, but he wasn’t sure he had seen her blink the entire time he was walking up (at least in the time in which he would’ve had a clear enough view to be able to tell).
He stood there, as if transfixed, now paying extra attention to her. It was at about the thirty second mark (since he started paying attention) when her breathing ceased mid inhale. He waited, and waited, she let out an extremely slow exhale but still he heard no inhale.
How could someone just stop breathing like that? Like their body had somehow forgotten that it was vital to its survival!?
He was still watching her, frozen in place, when his brain finally paid attention to his ears. The song that had been playing in the background for over a minute that he hadn’t been paying attention to.
“…for seven hundred years”
“And still look seventeen”
“Hon, one from whom you really should run”
“I despise the light of the sun”
“And I kill your kind just for fun”
“Cause I'm a vampire”
His own breathing stopped.
The hell?? How is this happening again?? Something is seriously up with her. This cannot be coincidence! She has to be planning this somehow!
She couldn’t have planned it though, could she? She didn’t know that I was going to come out here. Hell, she’s not even aware that I’m out here right now! What in the world is going on with her?
Also! She still hasn’t breathed yet!
Almost as if on cue, her eyes seemed to focus. She took a sharp intake of breath and blinked forcefully several times.
Her eyes met his fully and her expression did not change. No shock, surprise, annoyance. Nothing. She put the car in gear and pulled out of the lot.
. . . . . .
Getting Esme to let him split from her was easy.
When he got to Aušra’s she was already inside. He went closer than felt comfortable doing, but he needed to be able to see what she was doing.
She was… lying on the floor. Her dog was laying on top of her.
What is wrong with her?
He needed to know what was happening. First, she was so weird in the grocery store with Esme. Then, everything that happened in the parking lot. And now this? Something was up, and he was going to get to the bottom of it.
He reached out with his gift, trying to gain access to her thoughts. Like every other time he hit a wall. He kept pushing, trying to get through. Praying that whatever had happened before, would happen again. That he could have a just a glimpse of h—
(Alt- a series of glitched text phrases that overlap and layer on top of one another in such a random and chaotic way that nothing is clearly readable and it looks more like static.)
Edward tried to escape from the never-ending cacophony of noise; fruitlessly trying to eject it from his mind. His head was throbbing when it finally retreated.
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT??
Did she just psychically attack him?
Or was that incoherent chaos just her mind?
He wasn’t sure which was worse.
———•<•>•———
“Still nothing…” Alice grumbled, eyes clearing. Frustration steamed out of her in thick puffs.
Jasper huffed, smelling the air again. There were still no clear signs of Edward.
This was ridiculous. They had just barely finished feeding when Alice had gotten the text. Edward was MIA and Esme was hoping they could find him.
There were too many people out and about currently for him to pick up any decent scent trail from afar. And Alice was having no luck seeing him in his visions (and was starting to feel defeated).
So now they were basically just wandering around, hoping to run into him.
. . . . . .
Edward had not meant for the night to have gone like this. Truly, he didn’t.
He’d originally gone out into town because he had overheard (in their thoughts mostly) a group of teens planning on antagonizing younger kids while they were trick-or-treating, and like hell was he going to let them.
He didn’t tell anyone his plans, lest they force him to have a chaperone. He had bought a cheap Phantom of the Opera outfit prior, and so, he had set out.
Everything was going well, until he saw Her… Well, in reality, heard her. He recognized her voice immediately but it took him longer to actually see and recognize her in the crowd.
Aušra.
He really tried not to. He didn’t want to, he knew if he was caught it’d only make things worse for him… but he just couldn’t help himself. So, he abandoned his previous mission to follow her.
He kept his distance at first, keeping as far away as possible. But again, he couldn’t help himself. He kept getting closer and closer, until, at one house, she started looking around. Scanning for something.
Luckily, he was able to get out of sight before she looked behind her. The next house he wasn’t so lucky…
. . . . . .
Her eyes. Her Eyes!
The second they were no longer on him, Edward ran. He stopped in the deep woods to panic.
Red.
Blood red.
Not contacts, he was positive. But what did it mean? What did it mean?
Definitely not a vampire, she didn’t have any of the other markers. She had a heartbeat, she was warm —her skin flushed with blood. She didn’t smell like one either.
So what then?
Edward needed to get to Carlisle, he would know.
He took off again in the direction of their house.
He heard them soon after, Jasper’s thoughts. Most of them not surface level and indecipherable, but one kept coming through, ‘Don’t kill him.’ ‘Don’t kill him.’ That’s all Edward needed to know that he was Pissed.
He picked up the pace. Unfortunately, this served him only badly. Now hitting the arm that shot out from behind a tree at full speed —clotheslining him.
Jasper grasped the front of his shirt, yanking him up to eye level.
“The Fuck do you think yer goin'?” Jasper growled out; face pure rage. He was mostly going off pure instinct. His thoughts were worthless to Edward when he was like this.
“H-home,” Edward stammered, unsure whether the terror he was feeling was his own, or of Jasper’s making. Probably both.
“Bull- shit.”
Alice burst into the area. Edward took advantage of the minor distraction to break free of Jasper’s grasp. Unfortunately, the sound of his shirt ripping immediately brought all attention right back to him.
Jasper had him pinned face-first against a tree by the back of the neck before he knew what happened.
“What were you planning on doin'?” Jasper growled out, his voice right in Edward’s ear.
What the hell is he talking about?
He looked at Alice, begging her with his eyes to intervene.
“Jasper, let’s calm down a bit, okay?” she said soothingly.
Jasper looked at her and begrudgingly pulled Edward away from the tree, still holding onto his neck.
“Edward,” Alice started, “why were you heading directly to Aušra’s house?”
“I wasn’t?” he responded bewildered. He looked around, focusing on the direction he was going. His eyes going wide when he realized that he had been, “oh… well… I wasn’t trying to! I was just taking the most direct route home!”
Jasper scowled, his hand tightened around Edward’s neck, “and what exactly were you doing bothering Aušra again? I need to teach you some manners, again?”
“N-no,” Edward then explained what he had been doing out that night. How he only happened to come across her. “Di–did you see her though??”
‘Yeah, she looked Hot!’ Alice thought.
“Yes, we saw her, Edward, get to the point,” Jasper said impatiently. He had stopped holding on to Edward at some point.
“The point is her eyes!” Edward shouted incredulously. They were looking at him like he was the crazy one. “…they were bright red!”
“They were clearly contacts,” Alice and Jasper said in perfect unison.
“I saw them! They weren’t contacts!” he protested. He opened his mouth to say more but Jasper cut him off.
“How close were you? Fifteen, twenty feet?” he asked rhetorically, “we were right in front of her. The color didn’t cover the whole iris, and there was clearly a blue-ish line from the margin. So I don’t know what you think you saw but they were contacts.”
Edward saw it in their memories, but that wasn’t what he’d seen. There had been no line and the color covered the whole iris. He was positive.
As if sensing his thoughts, Jasper sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Then added softer, “Edward, I don’t doubt what you thought you saw. But, I think you saw the red, panicked and got in your own head before you could pick up any of the details. It wouldn’t be the first time.”
“I don’t think, I know what I saw!” Edward defiantly defended, choosing to ignore the ‘you ‘don’t think,’ is right.’ from Jasper.
“Eddie, it was definitely contacts,” Alice said almost sympathetically, “we got a good look at her.”
He was then subjected again —via Alice— to the memory of Aušra’s eyes. Again, there was a clear ring at the edge of the contact and you could see the hint of her natural green color peeking through the inside edge of the red color.
Maybe I was wrong?
The memory shifted, now showing how Aušra’s dress was snug to her body, showing off the difference between her waist and hips that her normal clothes usually hid. It shifted again, but this time it was a view from the back, focusing in on her rear which, the dress wasn’t tight on, but was uncomfortably accentuated by the cut and fit of the dress.
The ‘vision’ abruptly cut off, Alice realizing what was happening. Edward looked over at her, she was blushing profusely and avoiding eye contact.
She laughed nervously, “we should probably be getting back to the house now…”
A/N: I have split Edward’s list for sake of clarity (and humor), he obviously doesn’t have them split in his mind. Some of these things he doesn’t find (that) weird/suspicious anymore but I’ve kept them anyways.)
Edward’s List
Edward has a list about Aušra. A mental one, that is. He would never risk writing it down so someone could stumble across it. That’d make it seem like he thinks of her often —which, he doesn’t. And really, it’s barely a list; more like some observations he’s made.
Things that he thinks are suspicious (read: weird) but aren’t:
- Whenever she’s holding her water bottle (she’s does this with other things but mostly the water bottle) by the handle on the lid (so it’s dangling from her hand), she ‘jiggles’ it. Well, it’s more like she rotates it? It jostles the water, but she’s not mixing anything in, she just does it, for no reason.
- She gutted and deboned a fish like it was nothing; no disgust or hesitation at all. (Also, apparently did the dissections in biology class with ease as well).
- When she’s playing with Tamsus, they’ll start wrestling and she just fully lets him bite her? She doesn’t bleed but there are red marks.
- The pads on her thumb, pointer, and middle fingertips (both hands) are stained a blue/black color very frequently. It’s not ink. Also her left thumbnail was yellow/orange for two weeks straight.
- She often has a graphite line on her right temple on weekends.
- She was perfectly singing along to a song when someone asked what the lyrics just said, she paused and then responded “I don’t know”. She had to stop and rewind the song to the lyrics she had just sung.
- She eats too many fruits and vegetables for a (non-vegetarian) teenager.
- She uses a suspicious amount of hips
(and has great control over them)when dancing for someone who’s white. - She listened to the same song for four hours straight —it wasn’t even on repeat, every time it ended, she manually restarted it.
- She once chugged nearly all of her 40oz water bottle —not stopping— then said “mm woter” but gravelly and demonic sounding?
- She once said “snack time” then hobbled —there’s no better way to describe how she moved— to the fridge and just ate a handful of shredded cheese? She did a similar thing with a tortilla once too —she threw it into the microwave for ten seconds then ate it plain. Another time she ate jam straight from the jar!
- She’s printed out and read multiple scientific research papers (some of them being like, in-depth studies, we’re talking just short of a PhD thesis), not for any class or assignment, just…for fun?? And she was annotating them! (No consistent topic either. One was on ‘The Suppression of Demonic Births in the Late Medieval Period’. Another was about the effects of wind farms on birds and bats. Yet another was about the physics of fiber friction in yarn.)
- She often has random square-ish patches of shaved hair on her arms despite her not shaving anywhere else. (13b.) She doesn't shave her body hair —which he has no problem with, of course. But like, she just doesn’t, even when it’s going to be on display. He gets not shaving in the winter, when you’re wearing pants, no one’s gonna see it anyways, but in the spring and summer when she’s wearing shorts? (Her thigh hair is blonde so you can’t tell, but the hair on her calves is dark; luckily, her body hair is pretty thin so it’s not disgusting.)
- He once saw her head banging to a polka-esc song.
- All her clocks are set to 24 hour time. (Apparently this is ‘a European thing’ but he doesn’t trust it).
- She’s practically always barefoot unless in public. She frequently walks her gravel driveway with no issues.
- She washes her feet in the kitchen sink— she uses soap and everything.
- She’ll sometimes talk to inanimate objects like they’re people.
- She’s always sitting weird (cross-cross, one leg up on a chair, squatting in the chair, etc…)
- She grabbed fries right off the tray to put on her plate with her hands. They had just come out of the oven. There was a clean spatula right next to her!)
- She will just listen to white noise, not to sleep or anything, just for no reason.
- She asks hangers and dressers ‘could you hold this for me?’ whenever she does laundry.
- She’s way too good at parallel parking.
- She gets needles (syringes too but separately) delivered to her house?? And like they’re 20 gauge and 1.5” long, so for like intramuscular shots?? For the (un)life of him he can’t figure out why.
- She complains about being able to hear the refrigerator or water heater or lightbulbs, but then will have the stove fan going when she’s not cooking??
- She washes her hands like a surgeon (up to the elbows) before preparing food or eating. (And when coming back from being in public).
- She runs by their house every morning. She said she ‘didn’t know’ it was their house but he’s pretty sure she’s lying and has been trying to get info.
- What’s with all the vampire/undead songs??
- She basically constantly has her curtains closed. (Blinds open, curtains closed.)
- She drinks so much water.
- She puts lotion on the back of her hands only. Like, rubs the backs of her hands together to apply the lotion to just them. And even though she puts on lotion fairly frequently, her hands are still dry all the time!
- She’s very fast at typing (especially for a teenager). We’re talking 80-90 wpm.
- She can write out full sentences without looking down at the paper.
- She’ll pick up earthworms from off the sidewalk and move them to the grass. (Sometimes she’ll thank them ‘for their service’)
- She changes her accent based on who she’s talking to. Like she has more of a southern drawl when she speaks to Jasper, with Mrs Weber she sounds more Hispanic, and with Mr Varner she speaks more like she’s from New England. It’s weird.
Things that he thinks are suspicious that actually are:
- She can hold her breath for longer than should be physically possible.
- Sometimes when he’s watching her from far away, too far (or too dark) for her to see, her eyes will meet his briefly.
- Tamsus isn’t scared of any of them. Or even timid. He acts completely normal around them. (hough he clearly dislikes Edward personally).
- She can hang upside down for far longer than should be possible without passing out from blood pooling in her brain.
- She can tell when someone’s coming (and often tell who).
- Her arm didn’t snap in half while they were arm wrestling, not to mention the fact that she was freaking HOLDING HIM AT A STANDSTILL!!
- That ‘Psychic Attack’ she unleashed on him that day after the grocery store.
- She is specifically introducing Emmett to vampire-themed songs, because he likes them and she thinks it’s funny (it is).
Things he should find suspicious but doesn’t (because he hasn’t thought about it):
- In the months she’s been around them she’s never had a menstrual cycle.
- She doesn’t smell of anything. Not talking about her natural scent, but other than her shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, she carries no smell. No lingering food smell (except for pretty immediately after eating), or laundry detergent, or cleaning supplies. Her house is the same way. Other than immediately after she cooks or cleans, her house has no discernible smell (there is a smell of Her and a bit of dog, but not nearly as much as would be expected). Her yard also smells of nothing, it smells like the outside should, but considering she has a (large) dog, it doesn’t smell like dog pee or poop.
- She has too many developed hobbies. A 17y/o would not have had the time to be that good at that many things.
- Even though she frequently has cuts or scrapes they never scar. She has scars—quite a few— but never any new ones.
- She drinks “so much water” (his words) and yet she never goes to the bathroom. Even the times where she’s at their house all day.
Jasper’s list (Things he finds endearing)
- Whenever she’s mildly nervous (like before a test or something), she (quietly) hums this specific song. Apparently, it’s a lullaby her mom used to sing to her. (She wasn’t really aware of this until he brought it up).
- She reads ludicrously long and dense research papers just because she loves to learn new things.
- When she gets extremely excited her voice goes up like two octaves and she essentially squeaks. When she’s excited but trying to ‘suppress’ it (play it down) she makes this face where her cheeks and eyes go up like she smiling but her lips go tight like she’s trying to keep herself from grinning but it just ends up looking
cutesilly (positive). - She’s kind to people she barely knows. He’s seen her offer so many people rides home after school. Or she’ll go out of her way to talk to people who seem alone. It’s not performative or to make herself look better either, she just does it.
- She knows songs so well that she can sing along to them perfectly without realizing that she’s doing it.
- Sometimes when they make eye contact from a distance she will flare her nostrils twice in rapid succession at him in way of…greeting? Sometimes she’ll crosses her eyes or wiggles her ears instead.
- She can be frequently seen dancing. Not like full blown dancing, but like moving her head, shoulders, or hips to an unheard rhythm or beat. (She even dances while driving. And not just with her upper body, but she’s often swiveling her hips (as much as one can) in her seat.)
- She asks hangers and dressers ‘could you hold this for me?’ Whenever she does laundry. (He finds this funny.)
- She washes her hands like a surgeon when coming back from being in public and she washes her feet in the sink after being outside barefoot.
- Because she also has a sensitive nose and hearing, her house is always really sensory safe for him. Nothing ever smells too strongly and most of her appliances are pretty quiet compared to others (even though she still complains about them making noise).
- She’s been really cool the two times he’s gone non-verbal. And she’ll gladly fill the silence with her talking if he wants her to, but is also completely comfortable sitting in silence.
- Sometimes instead of dancing she bobs her head in time to the music. It took him a bit to realize that she’s actually sorta ‘conducting’ with her head bobs/nods? Like she’s not just bobbing to the beat, but she’s moving her head like conductor would move her hand for time signatures. (He checked with Edward and he confirmed that’s exactly what she’s doing. Apparently she’s ‘actually really good’ at it. Edward says that she’s on time and correct with the up/down beats; and that even when the time signature changes she perfectly switches with them—even for songs she doesn’t know! And the kicker? The thing that makes it so crazy? She does all of that without thought. She’s not focused on it at all. So she’s basically doing it ‘on instinct’.
- Instead of saying, ‘huh?’ she makes a sound sorta like ‘ka?’
- She makes an effort to be friendly with Edward even though he’s been nothing but weird/rude to her.
- She allows her opinions/beliefs to change when given new information (if it is a large dissonance from her current view she will go and do her own research on the topic). (She’s frequently asking, “do you have a source for that?” “What’s your source?”
- She has so many different hobbies and talks about them so passionately it’s impossible not to be enthralled. It’s adorable.
- Whenever she’s stressed out/pent up/overwhelmed (in private) she’ll do this extended groan/yell/vocalization thing (sounds different every time, but mostly like a dying yodeler) as like a ‘pressure release valve’.
- She readily admits when she’s wrong or messed up.
- She listens to him when he’s talking about his interests (and in general) with such enthusiasm and almost with a type of reverence.
- She frowns (practically a scowl) when she’s really concentrating. (He does the same).
- She’ll pick up earthworms from off the sidewalk, move them to the grass, and then (occasionally) thanks them ‘for their service’. It makes him smile every time.
- She has a plethora weird/silly t-shirts. (“you may be afraid of being corny, but I was born on the cob”, “Why did they make aquarium gravel look so tasty?”, “‘I love redundancy!’ (front) ‘I love redundancy!’ (Back).” “I’m joining the war on the side of the Rats” “WE NEED AN EXORCISM” with a flock of geese underneath it. “‘Fish’ is if it’s one or more to the same species. ‘Fishes’ is if it’s multiple species. Stop correcting me, YOU’RE WRONG!” “Stop looking at my eyes, my tits are down here” (She only wears that one when she’s binding and has ‘no tits’ (her words).) “Not Gay as in Happy, but Queer as in F*ck You”(she has to censor it with tape when she wears this one ‘out and about’. “Joy is an act of Resistance! The most PUNK thing you can be is KIND” One of them is written in Egyptian hieroglyphs (he asked and it says “I made my body evolve through my own effectiveness I am the one who made me. I built myself as I wished, according to my heart.” It’s from a ‘coffin text spell’) Apparently she gets them at second-hand shops, but some of them she made.
- She has ‘Idle Animations’ (as Emmett calls them). 1) rocking her hips in a figure-8 motion 2) a (very simple) tap dance (shuffle, heel, toe. Repeat with other foot) 3)calf lifts
- She has a (self-proclaimed) “Goblin Mode” and it’s truly a sight to behold. She just randomly gets filled with this intense playfully-chaotic and impulsive energy. He loves it. She does this hobbling prance around the house giggling and cackling like a maniac. It doesn’t last long (an hour or two at most) but it’s always a mood pick-me-up.
- During one, she proclaimed, “‘All the world’s a stage’? No! All the world’s a court! And I am but its Jester!” and he hasn’t been able to get that out of his head.
- Her threats (mostly said in jest) are so bizarre?? “I’m going to unfold all their clean laundry and leave it in a pile on the floor.” “I’m going to buy gas station tuna salad sandwiches and sew them into the cushions of your car seats, so you’ll never be able to find the smell.” “I’m going to walk into the desert and let the scorpions take me” “I hope you get turned into a frog and live the rest of your days peacefully on a lily pad.” (That was said threateningly).
- She can’t hit/kill a fly with a fly-swatter, but give her a wet rag or a baseball cap and that sucker’ll be dead in a minute.
- Those foldable sunshades for cars? She can’t fold them. He’s seen her struggle a whole minute with one before just throwing it into the backseat. They always end up folded but he’s never seen her do it.
- That one time she said, “don’t worry, I don’t bite,” to Edward; he sat down and then she amended —very casually, “non-consensually,” and he choked on air. (She wasn’t lying).
- She carries multiple knives on her while working (other times too), which is nothing of note. The fun thing is many are hidden and every time he (or anyone) asks to borrow a knife she’ll give him a different one.
- She has a small beach towel that stays in her car that she uses to cover her arms and protect them from the sun. (Because “I hate the feeling of the sun on my skin in the car specifically. There’s something about it passing through the windshield that makes it feel amplified on my skin, like I’m a bug a kid’s trying to burn with a magnifying glass.”)
- Whenever they go on a walk in the woods she has to have her ‘Spider Stick’, it’s non-negotiable. (‘Her’ spider stick is literally any stick that’s long enough (12”-18”) that she constantly swings up and down in front of her to break spiderwebs.
- She’s ridiculously good at guessing lengths. She told him of her accuracy and he was doubtful that she was actually that accurate so he tested her (with her permission, of course, and not meanly, it just sounded outlandish that he needed to see for himself). And she was good. She could guess within an 1/8 of an inch for measurements smaller than 10”. 10-24” was within 1/2”. 24-60” within an inch.
- This one is more petty of him, but she argues really well —like debate-team level. She’s able to (and does) go toe-to-toe with Edward. It’s amazing to watch. It’s petty because she often calls out Edward on his bullshit in their ‘discussions’ and that’s always a bonus.
- (His favorite example of #34) Edward once essentially ‘you’re not like other girls’d her, she did not take it as the compliment he meant, and went off on him. At first, she gave him an out, by saying, ‘oh? How so?’ in a tone that if he had been actually paying attention, he would’ve noticed was hiding offense and she was basically giving him a chance to step out of the grave he was about to dig. He then (in smug ignorance) went on to tell her the ways that she was ‘better than other girls’ (the entire time she had on the expression that looked polite, but Jasper had learned meant ‘is this bitch fucking serious??’) because she ‘didn’t focus on her looks,’ wasn’t ‘obsessed with boys,’ that she ‘valued her intelligence’ without also ‘completely throwing away the notion of personal appearance and becoming slobbish’ (her eyes went real wide on that one) or how she wasn’t ‘constantly debasing’ herself like other girls by ‘flagrantly putting her body on display like a prostitute’ even though she ‘obviously had a decent figure,’ (Jasper could’ve killed him) as well as other things in the same vein. She then proceeded to tear him a fucking new one (Jasper has never been happer about having perfect recall) saying, “you’re trying to turn me against my own kind? Trying to get me to disparage my fellow woman, for what? Your approval?” He had stammered, clearly not expecting her reproach before she cut him off, “Edward, I am exactly like other girls. My entire life, I have been taught that my worth is explicitly tied to my beauty. That my appearance is all that matters. That I must have every man’s approval because anything I do only has value if it’s in conjunction with a man. It just so happens that I saw the extreme and inherent flaws in that ideology decided ‘Fuck That’. I don’t care about anyone’s approval, only my own. But, I will not be coerced into disparaging my fellow woman —my sisters— for not doing the same, because it is hard to undo all of that societal pressure that has been on you before you were even born. Also! Some women don’t care about the approval of men but still want to look pretty because they wanna look pretty for themselves. You will not pit me against my own kind just because you have some kind of grudge against women as a whole. I don’t care that you’ve decided to so ‘graciously’ separate me out from ‘that horrid group of whores’ —as I’m sure you would like to call them— and spare me from your hatred of all women. But I will not permit the putting down of other women only to raise myself in comparison, so don’t try that shit again. And also, how hypocritical of you, abhorring women who care about how they look, and then immediately putting other women down for not caring enough about their appearance in the same damn breath? Do you not hear yourself, Edward? The hatred and distain in your words? For someone who likes to think himself morally superior and correct, you sure do have a lot of horribly misogynistic ideologies.” Jasper was in such awe and rapture about the thorough evisceration of Edward he could’ve kissed Aušra (not in a weird way).
- Unspokenly, she’s always let him have the more defensible/‘tactical’ seat (when there is one) even though he knows she wants it and feels more exposed when she doesn’t have it.
Notes:
I promise the next chapter will resolve the cliffhanger. (I’m halfway through it already so you won’t have to wait long!)
I’d Love to know what your favorite list item was (and who it was from obviously) or your favorite part!
(Also hope the overstimulation pic added to the experience)
Chapter 22: Life is but a Dream (I Hope)
Summary:
We find out what happened.
Notes:
A/N: the wait is over! The cliffhanger is resolved! Sorry (not sorry) for making y’all wait!
TW: light blood/gore. Implied wildlife death? (It’s like half a sentence, no one kills it, its already dead.)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It was just a dream.
That’s what Sam kept telling himself.
He hadn’t actually transformed into a wolf. (Skin shredding. Bones popping.)
He hadn’t grown fur; wasn’t the size of a fucking bear.
Definitely, hadn’t freaked out and busted through the side of his house.
For sure wasn’t running through the woods on all fours, with paws and a tail and far too many teeth in his mouth.
Everything wasn’t too loud, and too detailed, and smelled way more than it should.
It was just some bizarre result of the high fever he’s had the past week.
Any second now he was going wake up in his bed, probably with Leah beside him, chastising him for not going to the doctor. He wouldn’t put up a fight now.
It was all just a dream.
Just a weird, weird fever dream.
It wasn’t a dream.
You didn’t lay for hours in a clearing, unmoving, in a dream. Didn’t have to shake bugs from your ears in a dream. You were able to cry in a dream, not just whine pathetically like a dog.
(We don’t have a snout. We don’t have a snout. We don’t have a snout.)
Maybe it was just a mental breakdown? He had been more stressed than usual lately. That could cause a breakdown, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. He was just having a small mental breakdown… about turning into a wolf.
He had just started drifting off after pacing for hours in that stupid clearing. The exhaustion finally catching up to him.
But then, there had been a tingle in the air. Something that made his hair —god, he had so much of it now— stand on end. It felt like the air was charged with… not electricity, but something like it.
He stood up, a chorus of voices that weren’t his own, telling him to ‘ready for a fight’. He didn’t know how to fight, the most he’d ever done was roughhouse with his friends.
Before anything else could happen, a blinding light flashed in the middle of the clearing.
When all was dark again, a person stood in front of him, facing away. Alone.
Terrified and urged on by the chorus, he lunged forward.
The voices let out what seemed like a war-cry, but he couldn’t understand.
Sam pounced; thousands of years of instinct guiding him to the junction between the neck and skull. His teeth sunk in, its skull collapsing between his jaws with ease.
He was filled with pride and praise from the chorus as its body went limp beneath him. He didn’t know why, but he picked it up and gave it a few firm shakes, it just felt right.
He spat out the corpse, triumphant as it crumpled to the ground.
He had done it, he had protected himself —no, his people.
He looked down, the corpse had landed with its head to the side and he saw its face. A face —though he had only met less than times then he could count on his fingers—he recognized; her face.
Aušra’s.
Any pride Sam had drained from his body, instantaneously being replaced with utter mortification.
He hadn’t protected anything! He killed someone!
This is real. This is fucking REAL!
Oh GOD. OH GOD! OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD!
He ran, tripping over himself in his distress.
I killed her! I fucking killed her!
I crushed her head between my jaws. I’m a fucking Monster.
He ignored the voices trying to calm him down; telling him he ‘did good’, and that ‘she was a threat.’
She wasn’t ‘a threat’, she was a fucking child!
Her blood is on my face.
I have shards of her bone between my teeth.
Oh GOD!
Her brain is in my mouth!
I’m tasting her brain!
He didn’t make it a hundred feet out of the clearing before retching. The acrid bitterness of stomach acid flooding out his mouth.
Better vomit than brains.
He retched again —more foamy stomach acid— before fleeing.
Leah was going to kill him.
———•<•>•———
Aušra awoke to a world dark, blurry and half full of static. Seeing, but not comprehending. Her face was against something prickly.
She groaned. Instinctively, her hand went to the back of her throbbing head.
Her hair was wet and slightly sticky with blood. She could feel her skull where the skin hadn’t quite healed over yet.
Her vision was clearing and focusing with every moment. She could recognize the pillars around her as trees and the giant black masses as rocks now. She was lying on a patch of dead moss.
She pulled at a chunk of something that was tangled in her hair —bone with some brain matter… Lovely.
Her head was pounding as she pushed herself up to her knees. The world spun a bit as she moved, but stilled quickly. Out of habit, she looked at her watch. It took a second for her vision to focus and then a few more to actually be able to recognize the numbers. 22:35.
She took stock of the rest of her body. Everything ached, deep into her core. She felt like she’d been shaken around like a dog toy.
No other open wounds than some scrapes on her arms and face. It kinda hurt to breathe, probably bruised or broken ribs. Other than that, she felt fine —well, she had definitely felt far worse before. This was… manageable.
What had happened?
She remembers being attacked from behind…
But by what?
(As she wasn’t currently being feasted upon —nor were there any signs of feeding —whatever it was must’ve been scared off.)
Mountain lion was the most obvious choice, their preferred method of taking down prey was crushing the back of the skull. But she was still practically where she fell, not to mention the bite of a mountain lion wasn’t big enough for her wounds.
A brown bear would have a comparable bite size but should’ve been able to fend off anything trying to take its kill.
A canine was really the only thing that could make the growl she’d heard, but she had no other injuries. Wolves liked to go for the limbs first to immobilize their prey before going in for the kill. And again, its bite wouldn’t be nearly large enough for her injuries.
She stood up and briefly stretched out her sore muscles. Something on the forest floor caught her attention.
Animal track. Canid? Looked fresh and far too large to be anything natural. Something weird was definitely going on here.
There was a trail leading away from the clearing. Whatever it was, it was in a hurry and obviously didn’t care about being tracked. Or just didn’t know how to hinder that. Either way, it made this easier for her.
She followed the trail of animal tracks, broken saplings, trampled brush, splintered rotten fallen trees, and a fucking squished, rotting animal carcass, for a while. Probably a mile and a half, maybe two, if she had to guess. (She really needed a shower after this. Hell, maybe three.)
It ended by an absolutely massive boulder. It was so big calling it a boulder felt like an insult, but she didn’t know any other word. It looked like a massive chunk of rock had split off from the cliff/hillside centuries ago.
She skirted around the side, much more aware of her surroundings than before. She could sense something just around the corner.
When she stepped out she saw it.
A wolf.
A wolf the size of a fucking bear.
Pitch black with yellow eyes that seemed to glow as they stared her down.
———•<•>•———
Holy Shit.
Holy Shit!
He didn’t think it was possible, but Sam’s day just got so. much. worse.
A zombie.
Aušra was a fucking zombie!
He had killed her and she had risen from the dead to exact her revenge.
Her face was pale with a slight grimace. She was covered in dirt, clothes torn in places. Her hair was matted with dirt and blood. She even smelled of death; rotten flesh and putrefying organs.
She took a hesitant step toward him, arms partially raised.
Sam scrambled to his feet, his butt pressed against the stone behind him. He was trapped. Cornered. If he hadn’t been panicking before, he was definitely panicking now.
She opened her mouth, but he couldn’t make any sense of the noises that came out.
She took another hesitant step forward.
The only way out was out was through.
He charged right at her, planning on just ramming her out of the way and running for his life again. But she side-stepped mere moments before their collision, her arm shooting out, quick as lightning. He doesn’t know how it happened, but he somehow ended up ass in the air, head pinned to the ground, facing the exact opposite direction that he had been just moments ago.
She was leaned over him, her grip like iron on his scruff (he has a fucking scruff), keeping him in place. He fought the chiding feeling that told him he was a misbehaving toddler.
He started flailing, thrashing, anything to get free.
Her grip was relentless.
Unyielding.
He managed to get his head to a good place and chomped down on the arm holding him —which took more effort than he thought it should— but she didn’t even fucking flinch. She was saying something again, but he was too panicked to pay any attention.
As the blood flowed from her wounds into his mouth, something in the back of his mind said it was fresh —living— blood, not undead; and it was just loud and persistent enough to break through the fog of his terror and get him start paying attention.
He started flailing less as he took back control from the panic.
…not undead?…
As his mind cleared he started to understand her. She was shushing him like a frightened animal. Which, he supposed he was.
“Hey, hey, sh-sh-sh-sh. You’re okay; you’re okay buddy. I’m not gonna hurt you.”
He unclamped his mouth from her arm.
“Yeah, there we go. Uh-huh, just like that. We’re gonna be calm. Good…”
Sam lowered his hindquarters to the ground, his body finally stilling. She gave him a soft, warm smile. She didn’t let go, but her hand loosened a bit on his scruff.
Her head tilted, a crease forming between her brow.
“Sam?…” she questioned incredulously, “…Sam Uley??”
Something about hearing his name broke something in him, and all he wanted to do was cry. But he still fucking couldn’t, so all that came out was a long, drawn-out whine interspersed with pathetic whimpers, as he nodded his head furiously.
“Hey, hey. Oh, I know, baby, I know,” she soothed, settling down on the ground and lifting his head into her lap, her arms gently wrapped around his head, cradling it. She leaned over him partially, making him feel encased, but unlike before, this felt comforting. Safe.
The position and her calling him ‘baby’ should’ve been embarrassing —at least made him uncomfortable— but he couldn’t give two shits right now. He was having the worst night of his fucking life and he wasn’t gonna deny himself any comfort.
Aušra was humming some sort of song he didn’t recognize —it sounded like a lullaby— while slowly rocking forward and backwards. She gently carded her fingers through his mane hair.
Eventually, he was able to stop whining and whimpering.
They sat there like that for a while, he wasn’t really sure how long, but eventually she broke the silence.
———•<•>•———
“Am I right in assuming you’re the one who did this?” Aušra said softly while gesturing to the back of her head.
He let out a low whine.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay!” she said oddly jovially, “I probably scared the shit outta you, teleporting into the clearing like that outta the blue! So, there’s no need to apologize, I’m sorry for ruini…” she trailed off.
Wait… there are —well, were — no shapeshifters in the area…
This boy probably had no idea what the fuck was happening to him.
“Holy shit…” she breathed, “is this your first shift?” she asked, unable to keep the mortification out of her voice.
Sam nodded, letting out another small whine.
This changed everything. She was no longer just calming a shifter who panicked because they killed someone; she was now also helping a scared kid through their first shift. Possibly introducing them to the reality of the supernatural world at large for the first time as well.
Damn! It should be a fellow pack member doing this, not her.
She looked down at him again when he nudged her with his muzzle. He looked so confused and frightened.
She sighed, not knowing where to start.
“Uhh…there wouldn’t happen to be any other voices in your head, would there?” she asked.
He nodded.
Good— wait. Some people described ‘Instincts’ as a shit ton of voices, right?
“Like someone in specific, probably someone you know from La Push?” she amended.
He shook his head this time.
“Damn…”
Sam made a concerned noise. She patted him on the head.
“It’s fine. You’re fine, another voice would mean there’s someone of your kind to help you out… but, I guess your just stuck with me for now,” she said archly, trying to lighten the mood.
It seemed to work, but it was hard to tell.
“You must have a ton of questions,” she said, then chuckled at how vigorously Sam nodded his head in response. “Alright, first things first, we need to be able to communicate better… I have just the thing.” She clapped her hands and rubbed them together.
He lifted his head and tilted it in question.
“Don’t worry. Can I touch you?” she asked, even though she’d basically been cuddling him for the past who knows how long.
He nodded, but when she reached for his head he pulled back. He was looking at her arm (the one he bit) with concern. He had done a number on it. It had stopped bleeding and started to heal already, but would still look pretty nasty to an outsider.
“Don’t worry about it Sam, it’ll be fine,” she assured him, but he didn’t seem to believe her.
He nudged it with his nose and looked at her practically pouting.
She rolled her eyes, “fine,” she relented. Focusing her jėga, she took her left hand, wrapped it around her right arm and started twisting it back and forth, slowly moving it up and down covering the whole wound. A soft light emanated between her hand and skin. After ten to fifteen seconds she removed her hand and presented her arm to Sam for inspection.
He sniffed it then looked at her in confused-intrigued-horror; or like a cat that just sniffed an orange peel you offered it.
She let out a laugh realizing her misstep.
“I’m a witch, Sam. I’m a witch.”
His eyes went comically wide in what looked like an existential crisis in the making.
“We can talk more in like two seconds, if you let me cast this spell.”
He looked at her then gave a slow nod.
“I’m gonna let you know what’s gonna happen, then I’ll do it, ‘kay? Alright, so I’m gonna put my hand on your head. Then it’s going to feel like someone’s messing around in your brain. It won’t be painful, I promise. It’ll just feel weird, kinda fingers through jello, but you’re the jello?”
He looked at her warily.
“I know, I know. It sounds super weird. But trust me, I’ve had it done to me, and while it definitely feels weird, it does not hurt.”
He still looked wary, but nodded his consent.
“Ok, it’s gonna feel like my fingers have moved through your skull, I promise you they have not. So please do not pull away or we’re gonna have to start all over, okay?”
When he nodded, she placed her hand on the top of his head and started. She focused on pushing into his head with her magic. She could tell when she had broken through when his face scrunched and contorted like he had eaten a particularly sour lemon, but dutifully he didn’t pull away. She scratched behind his ear with her other hand as she continued. She knew she’d succeeded when she heard Sam in her own head.
‘Ouououough…’ he laughed uncomfortably, ‘that feels so fuckin’ weird.’
“Yeah I know. That was basically my reaction the first time it happened to me.”
He looked over at her, surprised, ‘did she hear me?’
“That last part, yeah.”
He jumped, this time not out of fear but excitement; springing and waggling around like a puppy waiting for a ball.
Aušra laughed, “we have to be touching for me to hear you properly, Sam.”
He quickly trotted back and shoved his head under her arm, lying back down. His tail was thumping the ground.
‘whatthefuckishappeningamIawerewolfwhatdidyoumeanbyotherslikemeamIgoingto— wait… how the FUCK are you even ALIVE???’
She blinked at the assault of questions.
“Um, actually, I think this will be easier if we start with what you do know—”
‘I know nothing,’ he interjected, ‘well, I know that I am currently a wolf —I think…’
“Okay… how 'bout you tell me what happened.”
He went on to explain that he had been really sick for the past week —in and out of consciousness. Then all of a sudden, that afternoon, he woke up to his whole body cramping painfully. He transformed, freaked out and broke through the side of his house, then ran through the woods panicking.
She stopped him, “you broke through the side of your house??”
‘I didn’t mean to! I’m fucking massive and was freaking the hell out! …I’m just glad my mom wasn’t home, thank god…’
She rubbed at her face and huffed out a sigh, then gestured for him to continue.
‘Okay, so I was running (definitely not flailing) through the woods freaking out, when I felt this weird pull…? And I don’t know if I was really in control, but I sorta followed it and it brought me to that clearing, and I just sorta, stayed there…’
“Well, that explains why we ended up in the same clearing…” she said mostly to herself.
‘What does?’
“Oh, I put down a spell there on Saturday so I could teleport there with ease.”
‘How does that explain it?’
“The spell works by being a sort of anchor-point or beacon. Like a lighthouse —well , I suppose it’s technically the opposite of a lighthouse, because a lighthouse is there to warn you about the shoreline, so you actually want to move away from it…”
Sam looked at her blankly.
“Sorry —the spell basically helps draw you in and focus your energy there. So my assumption is that when you got close enough, your magic latched onto it in panic and drew you there.”
‘Oh…uh, okay…? Well, anyways I was there for a while, and then you zapped into existence and then… ya know …’
She nodded.
‘…how are you Alive?’
“I regenerated. Witches are notoriously hard to kill and keep down.” (No need to tell him she actually was dead.)
‘Oh…’
“Yeah… so, I gotta go —”
‘NO!’ he practically yelled.
Aušra reared back slightly, startled at his intensity.
‘P-please…… please don’t leave me… I-I don’t wanna be alone.’ The earnest plea in his voice tore at her heart.
“I’m sorry, but I kinda have t—”
‘Why?’
“Because you’re conspicuously missing with a massive hole in the side of your house? That’s gonna cause a ton of rumors —if it hasn’t already.”
‘Not that I don’t want it fixed, but what’s the urgency? No one comes over. My mom’s not home today —or tomorrow for that matter.’
“Okay, but Leah’s coming over tomorrow to take you to the hospital—”
‘But I’ll be human again by morning… right?’
That hit her like a sucker punch, though she didn’t show it externally. Her eyebrows furrowed though.
‘…cause the moon will be gone? I-I am a werewolf… right?’
Oh…
Oh, this would be so funny if it wasn’t so… so…
Tragic.
She rearranged herself so that she was facing him directly and took his massive head into her hands.
In what she hoped came across as sympathetic, she replied softly, “no, Sam, you won’t be back to a human tomorrow…”
He pulled away, glaring at her, eyes full of hurt. As if she was the one that had done this to him —cursed him to this life.
“I am sorry, Sam,” she apologized, and she truly was, even though she had no culpability in this whatsoever. She went on to explain (as he paced back and forth beside her restlessly) that he was a shapeshifter who could change form as he pleased; but, due to it being his first shift, he would likely be stuck in wolf-form for at least a week.
He seemed to be responding, so she reached out and touched his flank.
‘—ek? A week?? I don’t have a week! What my Mom and Leah? What about my job?’
“We’ll figure out a cover story okay? Ev—”
‘Can’t you just magic me back?’ he asked desperately.
“Not on your first shift. Not without hurting you. A lot. And you’d just turn right back due to the stress.”
Sam growled and charged, attacking a nearby tree. Snarling in frustration as he raked at it with his claws. He bit into it at one point, the fibers creaking and crunching under the stress as he repeatedly dug his teeth in and tore at its trunk like it was a prey of flesh and blood. He ended up taking several sizable chunks out of the 18in trunk, though (surprisingly) it still stood firm.
She just sat and watched blankly, as he took out his pent up frustration on the innocent flora. (She’d fix it as best she could later.)
She held no judgment for him. Though she had been more sorrowful and dejected at her own ‘Awakening’, rage and frustration were understandable. (And she’d rather him be taking it out now on inanimate objects than on people later.)
When he had calmed down from his outburst, she stood and moved next to him. He was breathing hard, not quite panting, but close. He turned his head slightly to look at her —himself looking utterly beaten down. She raised her hand in a silent question. When looked at it, looked away and grunted, she took it as an okay.
She gently rested her hand on the side of his shoulder. Damn, he’s big. She did not let that thought go through.
“Feel any better?”
‘What do you think?’ he snapped.
She stayed quiet, looking at him softly but expectantly.
He huffed, ‘a little. I guess…’
“Look, I understand that your whole worldview has been completely altered within the past 24 hours. You’re going through a lot. It’s going to take a lot to process and you’re gonna have a lot of emotions about that and that’s totally fine. But right now, imma need you to at least kinda keep it together because we need to come up with a plan, okay?”
He looked back at her defeated, but nodded.
“Okay, first things first, I need to fix up your house… which, I have no clue where it is…”
That was an issue.
“…Actually, could you imagine your house for me? Wait, no, your room would be better —could you imagine your room?”
He tried, but the image he was able to project was vague and hazy at best.
Aušra stood silently, trying to think of possible work arounds. Then it hit her.
“I got it!” she exclaimed. “Did Leah give you the wooden wolf necklace?”
Sam startled, clearly not expecting the change in volume.
‘…yes..?’
“Where is it?”
‘On my bedside table, I think…? How is th—’
“Perfect! I can use that and the vague image of your room to teleport there.”
‘How long will you be gone?’
Geez, he sounded like a preschooler getting dropped off at daycare for the first time. She bit her cheek, “uhhh…” her head tilted side to side as she calculated, “…thirty minutes, tops?”
He let out a soft whimper that, by the look of it, he had hoped to contain.
“I’ll be as fast as I can, okay?”
He nodded minutely. She turned and started to walk away before turning back.
“Oh! Is there anything of yours you want? Something that’d bring emotional comfort?” she asked, reaching out to touch him for the answer.
‘Oh. Umm… if you could bring the necklace…’
She sensed an ‘and’ (not literally, just metaphorically) so prompted him to continue.
Which he did, though abashedly, ‘and there’s this…’ he trailed off.
She gently prompted him again.
He huffed, ‘…it’s a stuffed frog.’
(To be honest, Aušra’s first thought at ‘stuffed frog’ was a taxidermied frog —to which she was highly confused over. (Not that she was one to judge, she had plenty of taxidermy; it was just odd that he’d consider it emotionally comforting, but what did she know?). That was until her brain corrected to stuffed as in a plushie; and then she just felt very silly about the whole thing.)
“Okay.”
———•<•>•———
Aušra walked away and closed her eyes. Her arms were relaxed down at her sides, but her forearms and hands were raised parallel to the ground. Her image started to become warped, almost glitchy. Like how the air ripples in the heat, but focused just on her. She was muttering something under her breath.
All of a sudden, she was gone.
The world came crashing in on Sam. Everything too loud again; too smelly; too much.
He laid down, not really feeling steady on his feet anymore.
He could see the motes of dust in the air even in the darkness; saw how they floated and filled the space she had just been. He was blowing up his own small clouds of dust as he breathed. The dirt near his paws hands(?) had too much texture. He could see every individual hair on his arms —also moving with every breath. His eyes were darting to-and-fro, rapidly going from one too-defined detail to the next.
He closed his eyes. Which, while successfully cutting off his vision, only served to force him to focus on the sounds.
The squeaking of bats echoed in his ears. It sounded like branches and leaves were getting violently whipped around in a major wind, when in reality there was only a gentle breeze. He could hear twigs snapping in the distance that sounded trees were falling right next to him.
Insects buzzing in the air. Something(s) scurrying and burrowing underground; he could hear their mouthparts clacking together through the dirt.
He tried to cover his ears, fruitlessly —Fucking paws. He wanted to cry, he wanted to cry so badly.
He just settled for whimpering. Which, at least, helped drown out some of the noise.
A week.
He was going to be like this for at least a fucking week! How was he going to live like this —survive this?
What was his life going to be like now? Would he be able to keep his job? Go to college with Leah?
Leah…
He wanted her there, with him.
…would she even accept him like this? The thought struck terror into his soul. Would they be able to stay together? Get married? (They’ve talked about it, casually. Sam knows they’re young, he’s fine with waiting until they’re older to actually Get Married, but he’d been thinking about officially asking her once she graduates. Would they even be able to do that now?)
What would life be like without her laugh? Without the snark and sass he loved so much? Without that look she gave him when she didn’t want to laugh but he made her anyways —or the glimmer in her eyes when she did the same for him? None of the vulnerability that she only allowed a privileged few to witness. None of her challenging looks or witty remarks. (They argued sure; but they always apologized and made up quickly; neither ever mad for long.) Having to live a life lacking her touch? Unable to have her arms around him, and his around her, or even just to hold her hand? Unable to experience her giggling squeal when he grabbed and lifted her up unexpectedly, or the sweet sensation of her lips on his? Unable to celebrate with her in their accomplishments? To not be able to see the joy in her lovely face? Those special smiles she reserved just for him? To be deprived of her conversation and opinions?
What would life be like devoid of Her?
He didn’t even want to think about it …but alone in the woods? where everything was too much? His thoughts began to spiral, and he didn’t have the energy to stop them.
He didn’t know how long he laid there, drowning in his thoughts. It could’ve been hours or days or merely a few minutes —though it definitely felt like one of the former— but eventually, he was rescued by the return of Aušra.
———•<•>•———
When Aušra showed back up in the clearing she came across Sam lying on his side looking pathetically miserable. His gaze was unfocused and distant, but started to come into focus as she approached.
He lifted and rolled his head back to better see her, then flopped it back on the ground. He was whimpering softly.
She sat down next to him, was going to touch him but he rolled over so he was laying normally.
She put the frog plushie (old and clearly very well-loved) in front of him, along with the wolf necklace which she had secured around its neck. He looked at it so longingly but still seemed hesitant to grab it. She let him know that he didn’t need to worry about it getting dirty or damaged because she could restore it magically if anything happened.
Once that was established, he quickly grabbed it and nestled it between his front legs. He shoved his nose into it inhaling deeply. His whole body seemed to relax. She couldn’t help her smile, but wasn’t going to comment and make him feel self-conscious.
“Okay, next we need to come up with a cover story for why you’re gone so suddenly…”
They went back and forth, coming up with possible stories before trying to poke as many holes in it to try and choose something as airtight as possible. After going through far too many suggestions, they finally came up with something that Aušra believed would hold up the best to scrutiny.
They (Sam’s words, Aušra doing the actual typing) would text Leah (luckily she’d had the forethought to grab his phone) to say he was feeling way better and had told his boss he could work on Wednesday. She would manipulate it to seem as if the text came in earlier, (eleven pm as it was already past one in the morning). Then, around 6:30, they’d send another text claiming that his boss had texted him that they were completely understaffed at the Seattle branch and needed Spray Technicians (he worked in pest control) there for a week, or maybe two. They were prepared to pay him time and a half (and overtime on top of that) plus accommodations. That he accepted and was heading out right then. He loved her and was sorry that they wouldn’t be able to see each other for a little longer. He’d call when he wasn’t too tired. They’d send similar messages to his mother.
Sam asked what’d they do about his boss.
“E-mails aren’t too hard to spoof, he’ll have the same story as everyone else, We’ll send him the one that you’re feeling better and can work on Wednesday. Then a email from the Seattle branch saying that they needed you. And that they’ve already reached out, and you accepted.”
He nodded slowly, his mind clearly half elsewhere.
She stood and he immediately followed suit; touching her arm with his nose.
‘Where are you going?’
“I need cell signal to send the texts. And I need to move your car somewhere else. And I would like to shower and get the putrefied animal guts off me.”
Nose wrinkling to the side, he sneezed, as if he hadn’t noticed until now that she smelled of decay. (Though it wasn’t as bad as before, as her own scent was slowly neutralizing it.)
‘But, you’re coming back, right?’
Man, he already has a really good ‘puppy-dog beg’ face.
“Yes, I’ll be coming back,” she responded.
Sam’s whole body relaxed, ‘good. How long?’
She shrugged. He let out a soft whimper.
“What?”
‘It’s just, the world is really loud and smelly and too much when you’re not here…’
“Oh,” she responded, “yeah, your heightened senses are causing a lot of extra sensory input to your brain and it doesn’t know what to filter out yet. But, it will get better with time, I promise.”
He nodded.
“Go back to that little nook you were in earlier, that’ll help a bit.”
He picked up the frog plushie and sadly (god, so sadly) walked over to where he had been before. He circled once, caught himself, then just slumped to the ground.
“I’ll be as fast as I can, but it’ll probably still be an hour or so.”
He nodded but didn’t look at her and then tucked his head into the plushie.
———•<•>•———
Aušra appeared again in Sam’s room. She grabbed clothes, toiletries, and anything else she thought he might take if he was actually going to work in Seattle for two weeks. Everything went into the two duffel bags that were under his bed. She also took the liberty to take a sheet from the linen closet.
His keys were hung up by the front door. She deposited the duffles into the back seat of the SUV. Sending the predetermined texts to Leah, his mother, and his boss (altering the time), she climbed into the driver’s seat (which she needed to adjust quite a bit). Then, drove it out to the marina.
Grabbing the duffles, she then put an enchantment on the car to make others uninterested in it (and changed the color, just to be safe).
Still inside, she looked around. The coast was clear, but to be safe, she fully activated her disinterest rune.
(It was incredibly easy to teleport to one’s home; being as you’re so familiar with everything. It was the first place most witches were taught to (distance) teleport to.) It barely took a second for the weightless feeling to wash over her, then snapping into existence in the warmth (but darkness) of her kitchen.
She let out the biggest groaning sigh as she dropped the duffles to the ground. She felt a worried, warm presence flood back into part of her psyche. A part that she had been so preoccupied she hadn’t realized had been empty.
‘WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??’
She couldn’t see Tamsus, but heard his footsteps from upstairs. She turned to face the stairs.
‘I have been worried sick! I lost connection to you almost immediately after you left! It’s been four and a half hours! Why didn’t you —’ as Tamsus reached the bottom step and rounded the corner —getting a clear view of the mess she was— his concern shifted, ‘what happened to you?! Are you okay?’
He scampered over, probing around her mind mentally, while sniffing her up and down checking for injuries like the Good Boy he was.
‘Are there Cullens nearby?’ she asked.
He briefly stopped his inspection before continuing, ‘no, Ed-wad hasn’t been here tonight.’
She snorted, that was a new one. Tamsus preened at her amusement.
«Good. Shower —I need to shower. I’ll tell you everything then.»
She toed off her disgusting shoes covered in rancid carcass. She went to the laundry room and stripped naked; everything went into the sink in there. She turned around.
«Tamsie can you bring me the shoes?»
‘No.’
She pouted, «why not?»
‘I am not putting those disgusting things in my mouth.’
«Oh, come on! I’ve seen you put far worse in your mouth. It’s not like it’ll make you sick.»
‘How about you put them in your mouth then.’ He watched her dead-faced.
«Ugh. You’re so difficult!» she whined. Rolling her eyes, she summoned the (very little) magic needed to levitate the shoes to the sink. She mumbled something about him ‘being spoiled’ and how she ‘had to do everything herself’.
She was teasing of course. Tamsus was a very helpful familiar, he was spoiled though.
The shower felt like Heaven. She knew it had only been a few hours, but it felt as if she’d been in the woods for weeks. It took a while to fully wash out her hair, the blood drying into mats. The bone chunks were already partially disintegrated which made them mushy and harder to remove. (She ended up just using magic to untangle it all). She summed up what happened to Tamsus and the plans for the rest of the night.
‘That sucks,’ he replied when she’d finished.
She shrugged, «yeah, but I mean, what can ya do?»
Tamsus nodded.
«I feel bad leaving him out there alone, but it’s not like I can just stay out there with him all week…»
Tamsus tilted his head thoughtfully, then after a few moments, ‘you could bring him here. The gym is out of sight, big, and mostly empty, so no worrying about him breaking anything. I could keep him company when you are away.’
Aušra was halfway through an eye roll and about to laugh him off, before she actually thought about what he said. It would work, she had a ward that prevented the house from sustaining damage, and she could easily move everything out of the gym and into her basement workshop. And if she moved the silencing tapestries, no one would know he was there if they came over.
«You sure?» she asked. He nodded, but she continued, «He’s a canid, you aren’t gonna be weird and territorial around him like last time?»
‘No, I will keep myself under control.’
She eyed him suspiciously for a moment or two more before being convinced.
«Good. He’s already traumatized enough, don’t need you adding to it.»
She braided her hair, changed into clothes comfortable enough to sleep in but durable enough for the forest, grabbed a few more items, and teleported back to Sam.
———•<•>•———
He was in the same spot when she returned, but had clearly been adjusting himself frequently.
She let him know the possible plan, he agreed to it immediately. She’d have to figure out the logistics of getting him there, but that was a task for later.
She told him he could cuddle up with her if he wanted. He refused, saying he was ‘just fine where he was.’ She shrugged, laid out her sleeping bag nearby, and got comfy.
She wasn’t sure if she would actually be able to sleep. Healing tended to make one tired, but she always seemed to have more energy after ‘resurrecting’. She might be up all night. Either way, she closed her eyes and slowed down her breathing.
After a while, she heard Sam moving around behind her. He was getting up and down repeatedly, probably trying to get comfortable. After multiple attempts, she heard him creep over to her. She didn’t move, just continued to pretend to be asleep.
He circled twice then laid down curled up behind her, their backs touching. He adjusted himself a bit then let out a long contented sigh.
She didn’t bother suppressing her amused smirk, he couldn’t see it anyways.
Notes:
A/N; Hope it was worth the wait! Also I was imagining this when writing Sam attacking the tree. It’s so funny to me idk why.
We (in the fandom) often talk about the shit Leah went through (and boy did Meyer do a number on our girl). But I feel like we don’t often give Sam enough credit for the shit he had to go through too.
Chapter 23
Notes:
A/N: sorry for the delay. This chapter was weirdly fighting me basically the whole time.
Also! The One Year Anniversary for this fic is September 12! I can’t believe it’s been that long!
CW: deer death and consumption mentioned. Mildly graphic (clinical) description of animal skinning and gutting.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Aušra was ‘awoken’ (technically, she had never fallen asleep) by the sound of growling. Not of an animal growling, but a stomach.
She sat up and turned around. Sam laid still, his eyes wide in mortification.
She let out a light-hearted laugh, “hungry?”
He nodded minutely, still embarrassed by his stomach’s loud demand.
Checking her watch, she realized the communication spell had worn off. She let him know that if he wanted to talk she’d have to put that spell on him again. With permission acquired, she recast it. It went faster this time as she knew where she needed to look for his ‘link up’.
‘I’m so hungry, it’s not even funny…’
“Okay, then go hunt.” He looked at her weird, “what?”
‘I don’t know how?’
Now she was looking at him weird. She opened her mouth to say something (that probably would’ve come off rude), then thought better of it.
‘Guess I’ll have to teach ya then,’ she responded (not really thinking about it) in his head.
He pulled back a bit, startled.
‘What? You thought it only allowed you to talk to me?’ she asked, amused.
He shrugged (as much as a wolf body could, at least).
‘Nah, it works both ways. Just figured it’d be a little overwhelming yesterday,’ she explained.
‘Fair enough.’
“Okay, fastest way for this to happen would be if you carried me.”
‘…carried you…’ he echoed apprehensively.
“Yeah, like, if I rode you.”
His eyes went wide, and his gaze darted away from her.
“What?” she asked. “Oh, gross, that sounded weird. Obviously not like that.” she lightly chided.
‘I know that!’ he protested, ‘but wouldn’t riding me still be, like, weird?’
She shrugged, “I mean, it’s essentially the same as giving a piggyback ride, if you think about it.”
‘I guess.’
After that weird discussion —and consent acquired— they set off; Aušra riding on his back.
She used her own hunting skills to find a fresher trail for Sam to follow; narrating her thought process to him, so he could learn.
He picked up on a deer’s fresh scent trail quickly enough, but actually being able to follow it was a different story completely.
He was new to such an acute sense of smell, it’d take some practice to get good at it. So, he’d lose the scent and they’d have to backtrack, frequently. It was annoying —though she gave no indication of her annoyance. She kept giving him encouragement and eventually —finally— they got close enough that it was easy for him to keep on it.
She got off his back and followed him on foot. He was surprisingly quiet for a beast his size and she knew he’d only get quieter with practice. She cast a silence spell on them both just to be safe. She didn’t want to have to spend more time tracking down another deer just because he accidentally stepped on a branch and spooked this one.
His kill was clean and efficient, though it shouldn't have surprised her. Sam didn’t want to eat it ‘as-is’ so she agreed to ‘prep’ it for him.
Not wanting to possibly get blood on it, she pulled off her shirt, leaving her in just a sports bra. Sam’s eyes widened and he quickly looked away.
She huffed a small laugh, “you’d best get used to nudity, you’ll be naked a lot for the rest of your life.”
Pulling out the knife from her boot, she got to work.
She cut a line from groin to jaw, careful not to pierce the peritoneum, then made incisions up the inside of the legs and around the knees. Sam was watching her with morbid curiosity as she pulled back the hide —starting from the rear working toward the head. It came away cleanly. She removed it all, then cut at the base of the skull to allow the head to come away with the pelt.
She cut and pulled out the innards out, dragging them away from the body to leave for scavengers. Then, she gestured towards the carcass, silently letting Sam know she was done, and it was all his.
He eyed the raw body with distrust and distaste, then looked at Aušra, who was washing her hands off in a nearby stream. She hadn’t needed to worry about her shirt, only her hands had gotten dirty. Better safe than sorry, though.
“You’re not gonna get sick from it,” she said, pulling back on her t-shirt.
He looked back at it, then at her again, eyes pleading. She huffed, starting to get a little peeved.
“Look, I’m not going to cook an entire deer for you. Do you know how long that would take? Hours. I have shit that I have to do today, and it's not like I'm just gonna leave a fire unattended in the woods alright? So either eat it or don’t. The most I’ll do is pack it up so we can take it back to your spot.”
He reluctantly walked over to it and sniffed. Eventually, he started slowly eating. She ignored his side-eyeing and started scraping the deer hide; prepping it for tanning later. (She wasn’t one to let it go to waste).
After a while Sam walked over. She looked up to see that he had basically eaten everything off the front half.
“Full?” she asked.
He nodded.
“Okay, let me pack up.”
She stood up and cut up the back half, removing the hindquarters for easier transport. All the leftovers were placed on and rolled up in the hide. She didn’t have any rope to secure it, so she used a quick spell.
The way back was much faster. Aušra remembered the route perfectly, but had Sam follow his own instincts and scent trail for practice. The more he used his senses, the less overwhelming they’d be.
Once back to the clearing, they discussed their options.
‘Why can’t you just teleport me?’
“Simply put? Your body’s still adapting to the shift and magic which makes it more unpredictable. Add that to the fact that your ‘shifting magic’ is unfamiliar to me and that just makes a recipe for disaster.”
He huffed.
“I know. I’d much rather be doing that, but for your safety, this will be better.”
She left Sam with the homework of trying to pick up and follow other scent trails in the area, but not to wander off too far.
———•<•>•———
Aušra was finally back home. There was a message on her answering machine from that morning. It was from the Cullens.
Alice’s cheerful voice came through the machine, “Hey Aušra! It’s Alice, I was just calling to see if you wanted to hang out today? Call me back! Bye!”
Did she have time to hang out today?
Probably not.
There was the research she needed to do on voice mimicry (Leah would have her calls with Sam, even if Aušra had to be a go-between), as well as dusting up on her shifter knowledge. And she needed to see if her ‘Nothing-Witchy-To-See-Here’ (aka the Disinterest) Ward covered Shifters. If it did, she’d need to put down more around the property, because Sam would need to run around outside and use his senses in order to shift back sooner; and with Edward being… Edward (and anyone else who might accidentally see really, but mostly Edward), she’d need to keep the Giant Wolf hidden. If the Ward didn’t cover shifters she’d need to come up with a different solution. And that didn't include the fact that she also needed to clean out what would be Sam’s room for the next week or two.
Yeah, she definitely didn’t have the time today.
She shot a quick text (Aušra loved her, but no phone call with Alice was ever quick) saying she was sorry, but they couldn’t hang out today.
Aušra showered, changed, quickly threw together something to eat, then headed down to her workshop.
She pulled tomes off of book shelves, going through the table of contents of each and putting the ones with possible relevancy on one of her tables.
She happened to glance at some plants she had hanging up to dry out.
The sigil. She still had to remove the sigil, and she didn’t even to harvest any polemonium! Ugh…
Do it now or you’ll forget. Again.
She rolled her eyes, but her brain was right.
She teleported back to the original clearing and removed the sigil. She looked at the polemonium plant with disdain.
You did this to me…
She huffed, it is what it is, there's no use complaining about it.
She was definitely going to complain about it more. It was how she coped. She’d complain beforehand that way when she got to the actual task, the complaints were out of her system.
She did not want to be babysitting a shifter during their first shift. It wasn’t just that, she knew it would go beyond that too. Because he had no clue about anything, she have be the one who had to explain everything to him. Whether she liked it or not, they were now tied together for the foreseeable future.
She could refuse responsibility. He didn’t have to be hers to ‘take care of’, technically. She could leave him on his own and he’d probably turn out fine (though it’d definitely be a struggle)… But, she wouldn’t do that to him. Couldn’t. She knew how hard this shit was, how confusing and terrifying everything could be. Sam was a sweet kid who’d had his whole life irreparably flipped on its head in a matter of seconds. He was lost and she could guide him. She would guide him. It was as simple as that. (But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t complain about it to herself, a little, along the way.)
She let out another deep sigh. Aurelia was going to laugh her ass off when she heard about this.
———•<•>•———
One of the main issues with doing magic research is, you can remember reading about something and remember who the ‘author’ was, read through all their relevant works and find nothing, because what you were looking for was actually in a completely irrelevant text as an aside they decided to throw in randomly. It was extremely troublesome to say the least.
Aušra was beat. She had spent hours scouring every relevant (and some non-relevant) tome, notebook, and scroll she had. Her eyes hurt from staring at the tiny scribblings of witches that came before her (cursive Russian is hard, okay?). Few had information she needed. Most were useless for this occasion.
She found the voice mimicry spell, at least (in a Tome about ‘The Magiks of Geology’ of all places). She re-found a more permanent way for them to communicate. The Disinterest Ward page said nothing of its effect with shifters, which was annoying. And there was no way for her to test its effectiveness without possibly exposing Sam (as well as an outsider to the supernatural world). So, she'd just have to figure out something else.
She cleaned out her gym room as she ruminated on it.
Wards were out. She knew of none that specifically targeted shifters in this manner. And even though warding was one of her specialties, making one from scratch or even experimenting with and/or tweaking an existing one would take far too much time and effort than she had.
Spells were mostly out, because they’d need to be cast over and over again. (Of course, if she found no other options she’d use them, but for now, they were a last resort.)
Runes could work though… she already had her own disinterest rune on her body. Even though it functioned differently —making people ignore you completely rather than having them rationalize whatever witch-y thing you were doing— she should be able to tweak it to fit her needs. It might take a day or two (rather than the weeks wards would take) but it was possible and probably be their best shot.
The room was cleaned and cleared out of any equipment (including the ‘stripper’ pole even though it was more hassle than she would usually care to do).
She went to the pet store in Port Angeles to get a few supplies. She got three of the largest flat dog beds she could find. And then to the butcher for some large slabs of meat.
She set up Sam’s room; putting the dog beds together, then a mattress topper (from the mattress in the guest bedroom) on top. The sheet she’d taken from Sam’s place went over it all.
Some of his clothes went around the perimeter, so the room would smell more like him.
She put two legs of lamb in the oven and set a timer. Then went to the deep freezer in the laundry room and pulled out some old bags frozen of elk meat she had. She put them in the fridge to thaw.
It was getting close to sunset. She’d need to go back to Sam soon.
Aušra headed back down to her workshop. She filled a small leather pouch with some herbs, a crushed up snail shell (it had died of natural causes), and a tuft of a gray hare fur. She grabbed some twine as well.
———•<•>•———
Sam was basically exactly where she had left him. Though there was enough disturbance in the area that she could tell he had been moving. Plus, most of the rest of the deer had been eaten.
They had a brief conversation, and she fixed the tree Sam had attacked to the best of her ability, before they set off.
Aušra was on his back again, hands gripping his fur as they darted through the forest.
(Man, I miss riding horses… I should try to set something up with Teagan and Lily)
They came to the edge of the forest. Sam’s 4Runner sat parked in front of them, on the side of the old unused road, where she had moved it just hours prior.
‘Why is it blue?’ Sam asked as she got off him to unlock it.
“To better disguise it.”
She climbed in and grabbed the leather pouch she’d put in the glove box.
‘What’s that for?’
“It’ll hide you from anyone else. Ya know, in case we get pulled over or something.”
‘Ah. It smells like… rabbit?’ he guessed.
“Yep, there’s some hare fur in there, as well as a few other things. Good job.”
‘Why do I know what rabbit smells like?’
She gave a quick shrug, making the ‘I-dunno’ sound, “instinct? If I had to make a guess.”
He made a humming-growl noise in his throat that sounded like it was attempting to be an interested ‘huh’.
She tied the pouch around Sam’s neck with the twine, stepped back and preformed the enchantment. As it was being cast, the ‘edges’ of Sam started to blur into the surroundings. Once completed however, he snapped back into focus for her. Though, no one else would be able to focus on him. Their gaze would just slip off, their brain completely ignoring that anything was there in the first place.
She folded down the back seats and moved the passenger seat all the way forward, then opened the up the back hatch.
“Alright, crawl on in,” she said with a sweeping gesture.
Sam clambered into the back. It was extremely amusing to watch him awkwardly crawling and scooting himself forward inch by inch. He was panting lightly from effort —though he was trying to hide it— by the time he got his body fully inside the vehicle. He squirmed around a bit, trying to find a more comfortable position, before settling in.
Aušra moved his tail in further as she closed the tailgate and rear windshield, locking it closed. She hoisted herself up into the driver’s seat.
“You ready to go?” she asked, starting the car.
Sam gave one firm nod and with that, they were off.
———•<•>•———
Getting Sam downstairs to the basement shouldn’t have been an issue. The doors and hallways were plenty wide enough for him to fit through. But, apparently, going down stairs is the mortal enemy of all canids (at first at least). She understood that he was in a body he wasn’t used to, and that it was also very large, but like, come on! It’s stairs, just go!
She had to coax him down the entire time as he carefully watched each paw as he placed them on the steps. It was agonizingly slow. Aušra tried not to let her frustration show —he was obviously already self conscious enough about it on his own— but she must’ve sighed at least twelve times on the way down.
Once the stairs were conquered, she showed him to his temporary room.
Sam was… needy.
Aušra had expected as much; it was just so different in practice. Again, she didn’t blame him. He was going through a lot, plus the fact that he would instinctively be looking for a pack to bond to.
But, it was wearing on her.
She had gone to bed in her room (her body finally crashing from her resurrection), only to be awoken in the dead of the night by Sam quietly whimpering, and booping her door.
So, she’d had to ‘pack up’ and drag her own bedding down to his room to sleep. (Plus another excruciatingly slow descent of the basement stairs.) He again refused her offers of ‘cuddling,’ but ended up moving to ‘cuddle’ after ten minutes anyways.
———•<•>•———
Most of Wednesday morning was spent redesigning the rune to make it work on Sam. It was simpler than Aušra expected —still not easy, by any means, but it was taking less time than she’d originally estimated.
Tamsus had, thankfully, spent the morning distracting Sam and answering the questions he could. So, Sam was at least somewhat up to speed with the basics of the supernatural world.
———•<•>•———
‘Ugh, you smell—’ Sam said Wednesday afternoon, right as she got home. She wasn’t even in his room.
‘She always does after being with the Cullens,’ Tamsus responded.
‘—Bad. Like, I wanna rip your throat out ‘cause of how you smell,’ Sam continued.
“E—, ah— u—, the Fuck?” Aušra sputtered, arms outstretched in confusion.
‘Yeah, that’s a little too far, Sam,’ Tamsus said, ‘she just smells like rotting fruit,’ he turned to look at her, ‘you just smell like rotting fruit.’
“Thanks.” she said flatly. She shook her head, ‘Sam, we’re calling Leah in ten, be ready for that.’
The call with Leah went well. The voice mimicry spell went off without a hitch. It was a bit odd for Aušra, but she had plenty of experience being a third-wheel and it wasn’t much different than that. She could tell Sam felt weird about it too, but was also just happy to hear Leah’s voice.
“You’re taking me on a really nice date when you get back, okay?” Leah said.
“Of course. Whatever you want, we’ll do,” Aušra perfectly echoed Sam’s mental reply.
“Good,” you could hear the smile in her voice.
They eventually said their goodbyes.
‘Won’t Leah get suspicious about the lack of money?’ Sam asked right after they hung up.
“Eh, don’t worry about it, I’ll cover it,” she said nonchalantly.
He stared at her, ‘that’s like…(my normal paycheck is like 700 a week; 700 at time and a half is… 350 plus 700… 1050. 2100.) that’d be over two thousand dollars for that paycheck!’
“Okay,” she responded, still unfazed.
‘‘Okay’? What do you mean ‘okay’?? I can’t take that kind of money from you!’
“Why not? I have plenty.”
He looked at her incredulously.
“Sam, I’m like a month shy of two hundred; I have plenty of money in different saving accounts and assets. Two thousand isn’t a lot to me —okay, well, it’s not like it’s ‘chump change’ either, but I’m not gonna be hurting for money.”
‘You’re two hundred??’
“Yeah? —Nearly— Tamsus didn’t tell you?”
Sam shook his head.
“Then what the hell were y’all yapping about for over half the day?”
‘I mean we did talk about shifters. Well, half of it was about one shifter he doesn’t like —Matthew? I think?’
Aušra sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.
‘Come here,’ she telepathically called out to Tamsus. (Which was the extremely tame version of the 'get your ass down here' that she'd wanted to say.)
They waited as he made his way down to Sam’s room.
‘Yes?’ he inquired as the door shut behind him.
“You were supposed to be informing him about the supernatural world.”
'I did!’ he responded. When she continued to stare at him blankly, he amended, ‘well… I may have gotten a little sidetracked…’
She rubbed at her face and groaned. “Alright, show me what you told him.”
She opened up her mind and let the information flow into her. It passed through her consciousness like a VHS tape being fast-forwarded.
When it was over she sighed again, “dude, you barely touched on anything important.”
He lowered his head submissively. ‘Sorry.’
“It’s fine,” she replied, still exasperated. She gave him a couple head pats then dismissed him. He went back outside.
She sat down and started explaining things hopefully better to Sam.
Sam was looking at her as if she was insane when she finished her semi-comprehensive list of supernatural beings.
(‘There’s no fuckin’ way all those exist…’)
“I promise you, they do,” she said. He looked at her in surprise. “We’re going to need to work on your thought projection. You have a tendency to project basically everything you think.”
‘Oh… so you’ve, like, heard everything—’
“Heard, yes. At least, a good portion of it. Actually listened? Not really, I’m used to tuning them out,” she said, then changed to topic. “Do you know the Cullens?”
‘Not like, personally, but I know of them.’
“Okay, well they’re vampires.”
Sam’s mind went completely blank for long enough that Aušra was starting to worry that information had broken him. All of a sudden, every thought seemed to crash into him at once. Aušra forcefully pulled back her consciousness from the cacophony of Sam’s; now only barely catching the periphery of the noise that was stampeding through his mind.
She waited a few moments before ‘peeking’ back in. When she did, she caught the partial thought, (‘…I wonder if that’s why Mr Clearwater…’), before it was immediately trampled by another.
“Wait, wait, go back. What was that about?” she suddenly asked.
‘Huh? What was what about?’ he asked concerned.
“Clearwater. That thing about Harry Clearwater,” she clarified.
‘Oh, uh… well, Mr Clearwater really doesn’t like the Cullens. He’s always being really weird and cryptic about them. And he’s super adamant about Leah and Seth staying away from them. Like, he brought it up to me too —telling me that I needed to watch out for them too when I was out with Leah— it was weird… and I was just wondering if maybe he somehow knew about them..?’
“I had a similar thought before as well… he’s on the tribal council, right?”
‘Yeah, it’s him, Mr Black, Mr Ateara, and my Aunt Ellen.’
Aušra absentmindedly nodded. Well, someone in the tribe should know about him… and someone in the council would probably be the best choice…
“Do you know when they meet? The council.”
‘Like once or twice a month? On Saturdays I think? But I don’t know the exact day.’
Her phone rang at that moment, Leah’s ringtone cutting through the quiet. She excused herself and headed upstairs.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Nothing much, just bored,” Leah sighed.
“Wow, nice to know you only think of me when you’re bored,” she teased.
She could feel Leah’s eye-roll through the phone, “oh, shut up…”
“Has Sam called yet?” Aušra asked, already knowing the answer.
“Yeah just a little bit ago. He's still not sure when he’ll be back, but it’s looking more and more like two weeks,” she sighed, then groaned, “I mean, I get why he went. But like, why’d he have to go?” she softly whined. “I didn’t want him to —I didn’t say that to him. Don’t want him to feel guilty— but even though I know he’s trying to save up money and this was a great opportunity for him to do so; I really didn’t want him to go… is that selfish?”
She shrugged, (though Leah couldn’t see it), “I don’t think so. 'M pretty sure most people would like their loved ones around as much as possible. Now, if you were trying to convince him to stay because of that, then it could be construed as selfish, but I don’t feel like it is right now. You’re just missing him.”
Leah let out a long groan, “ugh, it’s barely been two weeks since I saw him last. I feel like it’s sort of pathetic how much I miss him. Like, I know it’s because it was unexpected and so I didn’t get to ‘prepare’ or whatever. And the fact that we didn’t get to say goodbye in person definitely doesn’t help, but like… I feel dumb.”
Aušra plopped down onto the couch, and assured Leah that it wasn’t pathetic that she missed him, that it was normal. She’d see him soon enough, it wasn’t like he was gonna be gone for months.
“True… wanna hang out Saturday?” she asked, completely flipping the subject. “It’s Council day, plus Seth and my mom aren’t going to be home either, so we could watch a rated-R movie.”
Aušra silently thanked whatever was out there for this serendipity.
“Maybe, what time?”
“Uhh, so, Mom and Seth won’t be back until after dad’s home. And Council’s from 5 to 6, but he goes early around 4:15, and usually isn’t back until 6:45.”
“Dang,” Aušra interjected, “where is it that it takes him that long to drive?”
“Oh, it’s not that far; I mean, it’s just at the rec center —we played volleyball there that one time, remember?”
“Oh yeah. Okay.”
“Yeah, dad just likes to going early to set up, and then they always stay and chat for forever afterwards… so, would that work for you?”
She inhaled through her teeth, “maybe? I have something that ends around four, but it might go long, and I’d still have to get out there… we can probably hang out,” (unless, after learning the truth, your father forbids us hanging out at all),“but I don’t know if we’d have the time for something rated-R…”
“Oh, okay…” Leah responded, sounding disappointed.
“I’m sorry. I know you’re lonely and I want to. I just don’t know what my schedule will be like that day. We’ll have to just play it by ear; if that’s okay?” she asked.
“Yeah that’s fine,” Leah replied.
They chatted for a little while longer before saying their goodbyes.
———•<•>•———
Aušra had the rune completely ready for use late Thursday morning. She engraved and enchanted the design onto a wooden disk on a chain, so Sam could wear it as a necklace.
She made him go out multiple times a day (always within her property lines), the sooner he got used to his body, the sooner he would return to his human form.
He was making good progress. He could now track scents for longer than ten seconds, and it usually only took him about thirty seconds to find the trails again. He was better at recognizing strange sounds and the directions they came from. Though, he still had the issue of focusing on unnecessary sounds (or rather, being unable to distinguish between important and unimportant sounds without too much conscious effort).
He was much more in control of his wolf body. She hadn’t said anything about it, but he’d stumbled a lot when they’d ran out in the woods. He was quick to catch himself, so they thankfully never toppled over, but they both had been rather jerky, unpleasant rides for her.
(She did end up sending an email to Lily to see if they could set something up.)
The basement stairs weren’t as much of an issue anymore either; though, he still took them rather slowly.
With his current progress, she was optimistic that he’d be able to shift back sometime the next week.
———•<•>•———
Aušra waited in the rec center parking lot Saturday evening. She was nervous. In all the scenarios that had gone through her head since she moved to Forks (and there have been hundreds) where she had to ‘out’ herself, the one she was currently living had never come up. Nothing even similar to it either.
Harry was certainly not who she expected to be telling. She didn’t know him well enough to know how he’d respond.
Most people responded horribly. She’d been expelled from numerous Covens in the past if they ever found out who she was. Not that she was Aušra (or whatever cover name she’d been using at the time), but who’d she’d been in her past (who she technically still was, as it was a part of her she could never separate from). They thought she was a bad omen. A threat. A curse. Believed she was a cold-blooded monster —a rabid animal to be released upon whomever her ‘owner’ saw fit. It didn’t matter how long she’d been with them. How well they’d known her to be a kind and compassionate person. The moment her other name was connected to her, all they could see when they looked at her were the tales of horror and blood-shed they’d heard. It didn’t matter that something around ninety percent of the stories weren’t true.
That, of course, was partially their fault; they never particularly encouraged rumors, but they never dispelled them either. Rumors were typically good for ‘business’. They evoked fear in those they came across. Added a sense of foreboding and otherworldliness to their presence. Those were important things to have with the kind of people they dealt with. But, it meant that most were (somewhat justifiably) terrified of them.
Of course, the likelihood of Harry Clearwater having heard about her was essentially zero, but that didn’t stop the anxiety. There were so many other ways he could respond terribly and her mind couldn’t help thinking up even more as the minutes ticked on.
Finally, after what felt like a small eternity, she saw him pull up.
It’s not too late to leave. He never has to know we were here…
It was tempting, extraordinarily so. But, she went there with a purpose, and she was going to do it.
She watched as Harry unlocked the building and went inside. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself out of the car and towards the front doors. Her dress shoes clacked against the pavement. She’d ‘dressed-up’ for the occasion, wearing slacks and a burgundy button up. A bit silly, she knows, but she would’ve felt even weirder having this conversation in jeans and a t-shirt (and there was no way she was going in her full ‘witchy regalia’).
The building was dim with only the emergency lights on. Aušra followed the quiet sounds emanating from the hallway to her right. As she walked down the carpeted hallway, she slipped into her ‘authoritative mode’ —pulling herself up to her full height, changing her posture and facial expression to the one she knew elicited respect. She shoved her anxiety into a box, it would be unhelpful. Harry was in a medium-sized room, setting up some folded chairs.
She knocked lightly on the door jam. He startled a bit.
“I didn’t think anyone would be…” he said as he turned to the door, trailing off. His expression turned from pleasant surprise to confusion as he saw who was standing there. After a few moments of quiet, his brain seemed to catch up, “…Aušra? What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to speak with you.” she stated, her voice cool and level, with none of the anxiety she felt earlier present.
He looked around, clearly still very confused about what was going on.
“Now? Weren’t you and Leah going to hang out tonight? It couldn’t wait til I got home?”
"It is a situation that I believe to be of the Tribe’s concern, and as such, I assumed this would be the most appropriate place.”
His brow furrowed and he stuttered a bit before finally getting out a quiet “…what?”
God, I hope I’m right about all this.
“Sam’s a wolf.”
Notes:
A/N: Aušra has like 500k in savings and assets (she’s made some really good investments in the past. (Some really bad investments too.) most were just ‘decent’.) 50% of her “profits” for the year go to various charities for the impoverished in the local communities).
Pages Navigation
Dream_Keeper on Chapter 1 Fri 25 Oct 2024 01:03AM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 1 Wed 13 Nov 2024 11:49PM UTC
Comment Actions
AmyC13 on Chapter 1 Sat 26 Oct 2024 01:46AM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 1 Sat 26 Oct 2024 12:39PM UTC
Comment Actions
llamaluvr08 on Chapter 1 Tue 24 Dec 2024 08:55PM UTC
Comment Actions
Aia_SM on Chapter 1 Sat 25 Jan 2025 07:31AM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 1 Sat 25 Jan 2025 08:13PM UTC
Comment Actions
Kotohime on Chapter 1 Thu 22 May 2025 11:24PM UTC
Comment Actions
TinySakura on Chapter 1 Mon 26 May 2025 08:46AM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 1 Mon 26 May 2025 03:18PM UTC
Comment Actions
itoldsunsetaboutyou on Chapter 1 Mon 08 Sep 2025 10:14PM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 1 Tue 09 Sep 2025 10:51AM UTC
Comment Actions
socksandslides on Chapter 2 Sat 14 Sep 2024 08:29PM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 2 Sat 14 Sep 2024 08:31PM UTC
Last Edited Sat 14 Sep 2024 08:37PM UTC
Comment Actions
socksandslides on Chapter 2 Sat 14 Sep 2024 09:00PM UTC
Last Edited Sat 14 Sep 2024 09:00PM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 2 Sun 15 Sep 2024 03:38PM UTC
Comment Actions
ForsakenMae16 on Chapter 2 Sun 15 Sep 2024 12:03AM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 2 Sun 15 Sep 2024 03:37PM UTC
Comment Actions
Dream_Keeper on Chapter 2 Fri 25 Oct 2024 01:18AM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 2 Sat 26 Oct 2024 01:02PM UTC
Comment Actions
Kotohime on Chapter 2 Thu 22 May 2025 11:24PM UTC
Comment Actions
TinySakura on Chapter 2 Mon 26 May 2025 09:00AM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 2 Mon 26 May 2025 03:22PM UTC
Last Edited Mon 26 May 2025 03:23PM UTC
Comment Actions
Duckieisamess on Chapter 3 Wed 25 Sep 2024 04:10AM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 3 Wed 25 Sep 2024 12:19PM UTC
Comment Actions
Kotohime on Chapter 3 Thu 22 May 2025 11:25PM UTC
Comment Actions
Kotohime on Chapter 4 Thu 22 May 2025 11:25PM UTC
Comment Actions
TinySakura on Chapter 4 Mon 26 May 2025 09:45AM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 4 Mon 26 May 2025 03:24PM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 5 Wed 02 Oct 2024 12:14PM UTC
Comment Actions
MissMasque on Chapter 5 Sat 16 Nov 2024 07:06AM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 5 Sat 16 Nov 2024 05:02PM UTC
Comment Actions
kiba_chan on Chapter 5 Wed 02 Oct 2024 12:19PM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 5 Wed 02 Oct 2024 03:13PM UTC
Comment Actions
goldseadragon on Chapter 5 Wed 02 Oct 2024 01:21PM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 5 Wed 02 Oct 2024 03:07PM UTC
Last Edited Wed 02 Oct 2024 03:13PM UTC
Comment Actions
K_Jo20024 on Chapter 5 Wed 09 Oct 2024 10:23PM UTC
Comment Actions
MurielR0T on Chapter 5 Thu 10 Oct 2024 09:18PM UTC
Comment Actions
Pages Navigation