Chapter Text
Often, it’s said that people start to notice that they’re not okay when they start to note a change in their physical, emotional, and social behaviors.
For Bowser, it started with the ghosts.
Initially, Bowser didn’t think much of the way his family was acting during dinner. It was eerily silent, with everyone picking at their food or shoveling it into their maws, the occasional mumble or whisper echoing throughout the dining hall. He didn’t think anything was too wrong because maybe some of them just had a bad day. Bad days happen, he’s been there, and being upset from it is a perfectly normal reaction. However, he did find it strange that…all of them were quiet.
What were the chances that all of them were having a bad day? Still, he tried his best to brush off his doubts and give his children a small push in the right direction. They know he’s always going to be there for them and protect them, they know they can come to him and tell him anything (right? They should. He tells them that every night before bed).
So, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat, he calmly says, “Anyone wanna tell me about their day?” He does his best to smile. But his face felt…weak for some reason, though.
He was met with silence. Everyone seemed to freeze. Share uneasy glances. Shrink in their seats.
Alright, now Bowser was concerned. None of his children wanted to say anything?
He opened his mouth to speak again, but a small voice finally spoke up.
“It was fine, papa…”
Bowser perked up, his eyes darting down to meet Junior’s. The young koopa was hunched over in his seat, already done eating, but still picking at some of the things he left behind on his plate. He looked nervous, scales paler than usual, often sparing a glance at Ludwig who was sitting next to him. Ludwig didn’t say anything, just met Junior’s eyes with the same uncertainty.
Bowser’s gaze narrowed slightly. He knew those looks.
“Boys,” he began, his tone suspicious, “is there something I should know about?”
Ludwig immediately flinched in his seat, turning away to look at Roy, who was cleaning his sunglasses off with a napkin, clearly trying to look busy and tune out the conversation. More and more red flags began to rise in Bowser’s mind, so many unanswered questions beginning to fester, questions he didn’t even have the patience to think about.
“If you broke something, I promise I not gonna get upset. You all know I encourage roughhousing—safe roughhousing—” He quickly corrected himself before his children could think twice. “As long as no one gets hurt, I understand if someone knocked something over or…” He trailed off, scanning the faces of each kid.
Everyone seemed reluctant to meet his gaze. Except for one of Lemmy’s eyes, but he knew it wasn’t intentional.
“We—no one broke anything…” A voice piped up from the end of the table. Bowser turned his attention to Iggy, who was fidgeting with something in his hands. Probably a fidget toy, if the clicking was any confirmation. Iggy looked up from his hands, glancing around the table.
“Right guys…?” He encouraged meekly, nodding hard and smiling too wide.
A trickle of murmurs: “yeah”s “mhm”s and “totally”s arose, with all of the Koopalings nodding their heads.
Alright, so they didn’t break anything, but something definitely happened and all of them seemed to know about it.
He looked back to Junior, who was not-so-subtly nudging Ludwig. He seemed to be having a silent conversation with him, his gaze pleading with words left unsaid, his nudging stubborn, yet desperate. Ludwig gently pushed his grubby little claws away, his face twisted with conflict. Bowser didn’t want to brag about how great of a father he considered himself to be, but he does own and drink out of his “Best Dad in The Entire Universe” mug that was made by his kids every single morning. He was getting better and better at reading their faces.
Right now, Ludwig seemed…afraid? Which was a first, especially since he’s the eldest and seems to have his head leveled the most out of his siblings. There was a hint of fear in his eyes as he glared at Junior, mumbling something along the lines of “you tell him, I’m not gonna—” Ludwig spared a glance at Bowser, who was staring at the two of them silently bickering.
Ludwig met his eyes and swallowed nervously, looking down at Junior again. “Just tell him!” He whispered loudly, sparing a nervous glance at his siblings, who were all looking at him now with that exact same fear he had in his eyes before. With a light shove, Junior’s wobbled in his seat for a moment, before immediately rotating to face Bowser. Now, the king’s heart may not be made of gold, but it just about shattered when Junior turned to face him with the most fearful look he’d ever given him.
Stars, those eyes nearly took Bowser back to when Junior was just a hatchling, crying and glancing around at the world he’d just awoken in, taking in every new and unexpected thing with nothing but fear in those little beady eyes. If he could, Bowser would’ve destroyed everything that his son was crying at, but that would mean destroying his castle, where his baby was the safest.
Snapping back to the present, the reality of the situation dawns on Bowser the moment his little one gives him that look. By this point, alarm bells were ringing in his head, and Bowser began listing all the things that could’ve possibly happened to his children, and all of them ended in him mentally reaffirming that he was ready to murder anyone and anything if need be.
Then, with a trembling voice, Junior spoke up.
“Dad, ther—”
Before Junior could even begin, all hell broke loose.
In less than a second, Bowser saw something purple rise out of the center of the table in his peripherals, followed by Junior’s face going pale with horror and all of his children letting out blood-curdling screams. Bowser’s heart spiked, a small bout of chills racing through his body as he leaped out of his chair, quickly being overcome by a sudden fury ensnaring his heart as he jerked his head in the direction of the threat. He didn’t even see what it was, just made out a rough purple silhouette before he was blinded by rage, his gullet quickly filling with fire, smoke pouring out of his nostrils.
As chairs fell over and various tableware clanked noisily, his family practically threw themselves out of their seats in an attempt to hide behind Bowser’s massive form. The king didn’t waste another second, the fire billowing up past his tongue, bursting out as he practically unhinged his jaw, aiming his snout toward the ceiling. The fire shot through the air, his gaze murderous as he imbued every ounce of his wrath into the flames, holding his jaw open for what felt like the longest time until he began to feel slightly lightheaded from straining so hard.
As he began to feel what was left of the fire in his throat flicker, Bowser let the beam of fire die out, snapping his jaws shut, glaring up towards the chandelier as the flames disappeared, revealing the intruder to be—
…a weirdly shaped transparent purple figure. It sort of looked like a damn tooth, now that he was thinking about it. The thing wasn’t moving, somehow frozen in place, hovering mid-air with a look of shock on its face.
Some of his children peeped out from behind his shell to look at the scene unfolding. He quickly shut that down by throwing a glare over his shoulder, a guttural growl echoing throughout the dining room that clearly translated to: “Stay put.” Immediately, the stragglers obeyed and stayed close to their siblings.
As the king turned to glare at the figure once more, all he could wonder is how the hell is the damn thing not dead? He just blasted it with all the flames he’s got!
As if to answer his question, the tooth-looking creature suddenly unfroze, limbs loosening as it began to tilt its head down, eyeing the royal family with a mischievous grin. He could hear his little ones behind him whimper, trying to be brave and stay mostly hidden. Then, with an overdramatic bow, the creature spoke.
“King Boo sends his regards…”
With a daunting cackle, the tooth flew up into the ceiling, its cheerful laughter fading away, leaving behind a faint echo. Immediately, Bowser’s muscles relaxed, letting out a large irritated sigh that was pure smoke. As his children began to let out curious chirps from behind him and slowly step away from his shell, a weary feeling of unease began to settle into his bones.
Of course.
Ghosts.
Now it made sense why everyone was acting so strange. They’ve been seeing ghosts. The spirits probably scared them all individually, so that’s why they all kept whispering and sharing looks. They were trying to suss out if another sibling witnessed the same thing earlier.
Bowser dragged his hand down over his eyes, a sort of mental exhaustion beginning to make a home in his brain. Before he became a father, King Boo used to send a small handful of ghosts to haunt his castle as a funny “prank” (except it wasn’t funny, and no matter how many times he says it, Boo refuses to believe him) once in a while. He thought King Boo had been captured by a weird mad scientist. Clearly, he’s broken out, and he hasn’t forgotten his sense of humor.
“Papa?” Junior’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.
Bowser looked down at his son. “Yeah, Junior?”
“That’s—…that’s what we wanted to tell you.” He said quietly, looking down in shame. Bowser lowered his hand and gently pet his son’s head, sparing a glance at the rest of the Koopalings who looked either afraid or embarrassed. Holding back another sigh, Bowser turned around and sank to his knees, spreading his arms wide in offering. In less than a second, they were immediately filled with eight separate bodies, and he didn’t hesitate to securely wrap his arms around his family and squeeze them lightly.
He tilted his head, nuzzling all their small heads with his snout as best as he could, trying to be mindful of his horns. Then, Bowser’s chest began to rumble gently as he let out a deep, soothing purr that filled the air, replacing the silence surrounding them. The effect was immediate, as all eight anxious and wound-up children began to relax and calm down, slowly being reassured by him. They instinctively joined in, mirroring the calming sound as they nuzzled the king back, making soft chirps and purrs of appreciation.
“It’s okay, Junior,” Bowser murmured softly, “I understand now. Don’t worry about it. Everything is gonna be okay, I promise. I said I’d protect you all, didn’t I?” He withdrew slightly from the group hug to view their reactions. Wendy’s lip trembled, but she bravely fought it off and contorted her expression into her best scowl. “Yeah…” She admitted, lifting her hand to wipe a small tear threatening to fall down her cheek. “You tell us every night.”
“EVERY NIGHT BEFORE SLEEP.” Morton grunted affirmatively, his chunky face buried in Bowser’s shoulder. The king still thinks the young teen has the “if I can’t see you, you can’t see me” mentality.
“Then trust that I’ll do just that, okay?” The words come to Bowser naturally, and he watches as his children all nod hesitantly and mutter small words of agreement. With that settled, Bowser let them go and rose to his feet, grunting as he felt a dull ache blossom in his back.
“Now, let’s get you all to bed.” He grunted.
Lemmy waddled forward to poke at Bowser’s knees, looking up at him with worry. “B-but what about the ghosts?” He wondered. “Am I allowed to throw bombs at them?” Bowser chuckled softly, bringing his tail around his leg to gently curl around the smallest koopa of the bunch. “I don’t think your bombs will be able to hit them, tiny…” He said sympathetically, trying not to smile wider as Lemmy visibly pouted.
“It’s okay, I got everything under control,” Bowser said, turning to tilt his chin toward the ceiling. He took in a big gulp of air, unaware of his children bracing themselves and wincing slightly as he reared his head back and roared:
“KAMEK!”
Bowser waited for a second. Two. Three—
Suddenly, in a small burst of smoke, a familiar magikoopa in a blue cloak riding a broom appeared out of thin air, casually floating over towards the royal family. Immediately, Kamek was met with a symphony of “hello”s, waves, happy chirps, and formal greetings, with the mage happily returning them with a fond smile on his face.
“Greetings, your fiendishness…” Kamek turned to Bowser, bowing slightly. Bowser huffed, biting back a laugh as he remembered the reason he summoned him, the exhaustion returning once more.
“We’re haunted again.” He announced, watching as his royal advisor instantly frowned.
“Wh—again? Even after you threatened King Boo??” Kamek asked, bewildered.
When telling King Boo to stop didn’t work, Bowser resorted to the tried and true method of violence and death threats. However, thinking back on it, that probably wasn’t the brightest idea since you can’t touch ghosts and they can’t die twice.
Bowser just gave Kamek an unimpressed, exhausted look. He barely flinched when a yellow ghost flew into the room, the creature snickering at the horrified look in the children’s eyes as they all collectively yelped and began to hide behind Bowser again. Kamek hardly turned as he pointed his scepter in the direction of the ghost, the red jewel glowing miraculously as it zapped the ghost with magic. The magic formed a sphere around the spirit, thus trapping it in a magic bubble.
The Koopalings all heaved a sigh of relief.
Kamek sighed deeply, looking sympathetically at Bowser.
“You do know what this means, right?”
‘That the ghosts are going to be hellbent on making sure no one in the castle feels safe, including the kids—although, almost all of them are teens now—which means they probably won’t be able to sleep tonight, which means I won’t be able to sleep tonight?’
Bowser held back another sigh in response, the daunting thought of the night ahead beginning to plague his mind.
“I know, Dad.” Bowser nodded tiredly.
He watched as Kamek’s smile quickly returned, fondly lingering his gaze on Bowser for a moment. Then, he turned away and began to fly towards the exit of the dining room. “Then you go ahead and put the young ones to bed. I’ll be on bubble duty until you say the word, sire.”
Bowser turned back towards his children, who for the most part were talking among themselves or distracting themselves with small games. He watched as Roy lost another game of rock, paper, scissors to Larry, who was practically singing in triumph.
“You heard the old man,” Bowser loudly said with a grin, “it’s bedtime.”
This time, instead of everyone groaning in unison, half of them just nodded quietly. Did get a couple of groans from Larry, Junior, Ray, and Morton, though. Bowser began to walk out of the dining room with his little ones in tow, and as they entered the hallway and began to make their way upstairs, the moment the king spotted one of the guarding koopa troopas, he called to them.
“Hey!”
Immediately, the guard stood at attention. “Yes, your majesty?”
“Did Kamek tell you about the ghosts?” Bowser asked.
“Yes, sir!”
“Good.” He nodded in approval. “Double the guards, we’re gonna need them. And triple the guards by the bedchambers. We’re all in for a long annoying night…”
The guard nodded and bowed deeply towards the royal family. As Bowser and the Koopalings walked past the guard, most of them waved at him or said “Hey.” The guard sneaked in a small smile and wave before running off in the opposite direction to fulfill his task.
Bowser took a deep breath. See? This will be fine. Tonight might not be so bad after all. Just goes to show how great of a king he is. He has everything under control.
.
.
.
He, in fact, did not have everything under control.
Bedtime was a nightmare.
The ghosts had decided to haunt every single one of his children’s rooms.
Of course, they didn’t know that until it was too late. Like usual, each kid went to their own room and went about their nighttime routine, brushing their teeth or tidying up their room, waiting in their beds for Bowser to tuck them in and wish them a good night. He always worked his way down from eldest to youngest, but before Ludwig could even open his door, they heard three different screams, followed by more screaming, and what sounded like spells being cast.
Immediately, Bowser and Ludwig rushed towards the closest room with screaming. Bowser slammed his shoulder into Wendy’s double doors, bursting into the room with a furious roar, his heart pounding in his chest.
He heard a crash, perking up as he saw his daughter run past him, screaming as a yellow ghost eagerly chased after her. He watches as she desperately turns around, her hands glowing a bright pink as she summons two gold rings in her hands, throwing them at the ghost in an attempt to slow it down, to no avail. With a frustrated cry, she resumes running away, but finally notices Bowser and her brother Ludwig by the door. Wendy immediately runs over to them, not daring to look behind her in case the ghost is still chasing her.
The moment she reaches Bowser, he immediately picks up both her and Ludwig by their shells and runs out of the room, throwing them both over his shoulders and yanking the doors shut behind him with a loud slam!
Then, his heart picked up again as he heard more screams, this time, from Iggy’s room. When he entered his bedroom, he saw Iggy being held up by his tail by one of the tooth ghosts, his little pet chain chomp viciously barking and yanking on her chain in an attempt to save her young master.
With a snarl, Bowser yelled, “Iggy! Shell!!”
Without looking back, Iggy immediately obeyed, shrinking into his shell—save for his tail—just as Bowser’s flames reached the ghost. The same thing from before happened, the ghost froze in place as Bowser’s fire breathing stopped, effectively dropping Iggy. He wasted no time in running over and scooping up Iggy’s shell, running back outside the hallway.
Everything was going wrong. His family was running around in the hallway, Larry and Lemmy desperately flicking their wands in an attempt to defend themselves as they’re cornered into a wall by two large ghosts, Bowser Jr. breathing mini balls of fire as he chases after a ghost who stole his rabbit plush, Morton and Roy running in circles trying to lose the ghosts, only to make themselves dizzy and fall over.
It was a disaster.
Bowser’s heart sank as he watched a bunch of ghosts terrorize his children, most of them crying, some about to cry, and the worst part?
Bowser couldn’t do anything. He didn’t know how to get rid of ghosts. Hell, he didn’t even know the first thing about ghosts! He can’t hurt them, so they won’t feel threatened by him, he can’t order them around, they won’t listen to him, and the only thing he can really do is stun them with his fire. But how far could stunning even take him?
Regardless, there was one thing he knew he could do. Protect his family by any means necessary.
So, he charged forward, stomping loudly toward the end of the hallway to gain everyone’s attention, including the ghosts. As he ran, he tried to take a deep breath as he felt his dark magic begin to fester inside him, his form expanding and stretching, his children growing smaller in his arms, and his weight growing. He made himself bigger, growing substantially in size until the rim of his shell nearly touched the walls around him until his horns threatened to graze the ceiling.
Some of his scales began to darken and turn black as he growled lowly, his gaze deadly as steam shot out his nostrils. As he leaned back and stood up straight, he made himself look as big and scary as he possibly could, taking a deep lungful of air before letting out the loudest roar he could muster. His throat buzzed, spit flying from his fangs, his entire body vibrating with the force of his voice as the loud, terrifying roar shook the very walls of the castle. All the air expelling from his lungs was so great, that it blew the ghosts away, the tiny little scoundrels yelping in shock as they were blown into the next rooms, disappearing from view.
As soon as they were all gone, Bowser immediately shrunk back down to his normal size, the few scales that blackened fading back to their original hue. He watched as the rest of his children immediately ran towards him, climbing onto his shell, his arms, his shoulders, anywhere they could grab as they wailed and cried, completely overwhelmed. He did his best to hug them all, to shush, purr, and reassure them as he stomped out of the hallway, making sure to pick up Junior’s little rabbit (Swampy, he thinks it’s called) before he left the hallway.
‘Okay, change of plans.’ Bowser thought to himself, his rapidly beating heart finally starting to slow. He exited the Koopalings’ wing of the castle, calmly navigating the halls to make his way to his own bedroom while his eldest children began to regain their composure. Ludwig sniffled, wiping at his eyes as he slid out of Bowser’s arms, landing on the ground and beginning to walk by his side. Ludwig got over things easily, being the eldest and all. Usually, once Ludwig reacts, his siblings usually follow his lead.
Sure enough, Roy asked to be put down. Then Wendy. Then Morton, exclaiming “THANK YOU, BOSS!” way too loudly as he helped him get down. Iggy was the last one to get down. Only Junior, Lemmy, and Larry stayed in his arms, which he was perfectly content with.
When they finally reached his bedroom’s grand spiked double doors, a familiar broom nearly swept past them, the group halting in their tracks.
“Kamek?” Bowser called in confusion, watching the magikoopa in question turn around and fly to him. His children all greeted Kamek once more, waving as they smiled up at him.
“My lord! There you are!” Kamek screeched, his voice laced with worry. “I felt the castle quake and I seriously freaked out for a moment—what happened to putting these ones to bed?” He made a gesture to Junior and the Koopalings.
Bowser heaved a sigh, turning back to his bedroom door and beginning to pull it open.
Wendy was the one who answered him. “All of our stupid rooms are haunted.” She scowled quietly, kicking at the carpet beneath her heels. Clearly, she was still troubled by what had happened.
“Oh.” The magikoopa blinked.
“MORTON HATE GHOSTS NOW.” Morton added helpfully.
Kamek shook his head, clicking his tongue. “I shall see to their rooms. Try to get some rest, alright?” Bowser nodded absentmindedly, humming in affirmation as the kids shouted their goodbyes to their grandfather.
“Tomorrow, I’ll see to a permanent solution for our ghost problem.” The magikoopa added. “If it can’t be helped, then I suggest you have an exterminator in mind…”
An exterminator? Bowser huffed, narrowing his eyes as he turned to look over his shoulder to send a glare to Kamek, but the old bat was already flying away! Bowser scowled as he held the door open for his kids to enter. Where the hell was he meant to find a ghost exterminator? Exorcist? The hell are they even called?
Before he could think too much of it, Lemmy, Larry, and Junior leaped out of his arms and began to rush over to his bed.
Bowser’s room was nothing short of grand. Obviously. He was the King of the Koopas after all. His bed was just as grand—if not grander to fit a koopa of his size—and it was built into the floor. It was more of a nest than a bed if anything, placed far away from the door with floating stairs leading toward the large mattress in the center. Beneath the bed was a lava pool, which kept the bed sufficiently warm, but there was no way to access it. All you could see was the warm, gentle glow from the gaps in the stairs.
As he tiredly made his way over, he made sure to give a firm pat to the large sleeping chain chomp resting by the fireplace. Iggy, Lemmy, and Roy, also made sure to give some affection to the slumbering beast, who all put purred under the attention, rolling over in her sleep.
“Come on, let’s not wake her.” Bowser quietly said, using his tail to push them all toward the bed.
His family obviously wasted no time in nose-diving into his nest, and moving his sheets around as they saw fit. The exhaustion from the day’s events was starting to take a physical toll on Bowser, weighing him down so hard, that by the time he reached the nest, he just flopped over onto the comfy sheets stomach down (sending everyone else flying mid-air in the process, but it’s okay because they landed back in his bed anyway). He only moved to cross his arms, resting his cheek against his bicep as he heaved a sigh.
Not a second later he felt someone cozying up by his wrist. A small glance confirmed that it was just Larry, stretching his limbs for a moment before pulling himself flush to Bowser’s scales. Movement in his peripherals showed Ludwig crossing his arms and settling down by his side. He shuddered slightly as he felt someone small scampering up his shell, and he reckoned that it was probably Lemmy, seeing as he was the smallest out of everyone. Wendy—who had removed all of her jewelry and her heels—scooted towards his bicep, her scowl softening as she closed her eyes.
Roy and Morton crashed by his side too, and he knew it was them because of how large the bodies were. He felt the two of them struggle to agree on sleeping positions before one of them just gave up and went still, followed by the other body also going still.
Iggy removed his glasses—revealing his small, beady eyes—and tucked them into his shell before climbing up Bowser’s arm and shoulder. He settled himself on the very nape of his neck before retreating to the confines of his shell. Iggy was probably the only kid he had who frequently slept in his shell, and while there was nothing wrong with that, it usually was a thing only hatchlings did. Usually, you grow out of it as you get older. Usually.
Finally, just as Iggy settled, he felt his eighth climb into his crossed arms and nestle as close as physically possible to his face and neck. Bowser couldn’t fight off a smile even if he tried as he heard Junior yawn next to him. He peeped open an eye and saw Junior curl up, hugging his rabbit plush close to his chest.
The sight, and the feeling of his family so close and being so affectionate with him made his heart—totally filled with evil—swell.
He sighed softly, closing his eyes and relaxing all the muscles in his body. Sleep wasn’t far away, and he couldn’t wait for it to claim him and give him some reprieve from the sheer torture that was tonight.
Finally. Some well-deserved rest…
.
.
.
Well-deserved rest his ass.
By the time Bowser “woke up”, it was dawn, and he barely slept a wink.
Because the ghosts figured out which room was his and proceeded to scare everyone awake at random hours of the night. No matter how much Bowser roared or breathed fire, they just kept coming back. Not even Kamek could do much besides trapping them in bubbles. And even so, Kamek needed to sleep too, he couldn’t just stay awake all night draining all of his energy by casting spells. He’d have nothing left to use by dawn if he did.
Kamek ended up joining their sleep pile, sleeping in Bowser’s arms as he cradled Bowser Jr. in his own arms (even if Junior was too big to properly hold).
The next night was slightly better. Everyone slept in Bowser’s room and actually managed to get a good amount of sleep in before the ghosts ruined it. The night after that was slightly worse, with the ghosts deciding to serenade them with thousands of endless lullabies. Iggy had to run to his room and he came back with earplugs for everyone, thankfully. The third night was the worst. The ghosts redoubled their efforts and all the scaring and singing forced everyone into their shells, as it was the only safe refuge they had from the ghosts.
During the day, the royal family were like zombies. Cranky. Sluggish. Hungry. Exhausted. The guards and the servants weren’t in any better shape, as the ghosts also picked on them. They lived in fear of the royal family’s outbursts, but no one could bring themselves to blame or stand up to them. Bowser couldn’t and refused to get any work done aside from scheduling a meeting with King Boo as soon as possible so he can give that creep a piece of his mind (and fist). Everyone in Bowser’s castle somehow managed to survive and get some things done, but most of the time was spent napping. The kids also had to miss Kamek’s lessons entirely because they were simply too exhausted to focus.
Needless to say, that was three days ago.
And the ghosts are still here.
Despite Kamek’s best efforts, he couldn’t find a way to get rid of them. There were just too many, even though there definitely weren’t this many ghosts the other times King Boo pranked him. Somehow, by some miracle, he was still alive and walking, although barely. Kamek could hardly keep him up throughout the day, the king was just so tired, and at this point, his mind was numb to every frightened scream that echoed through the castle, or woke up everyone else at night. Numb to waking up to a ghost messing with one of his kids, sending him into a fire frenzy that only stopped when all of his kids started trying to start fires with him in an attempt to scare the ghosts off.
And now, here he sat.
On his throne. Slumped over. Watching the entrance to his castle as his eyes grew heavier and heavier by the second. But, since today the kids wanted to get out of the castle to take a break from the ghosts, he was determined to stay awake at least until they came back. He would’ve gone with them, but…he didn’t really feel like leaving the castle.
“Kamek…” He quietly called.
Kamek—who somehow was still functioning—weakly turned to look at Bowser. He was currently writing down a list of things that still needed to get done since everyone had been either too tired or too scared to be able to do their jobs. Including the royal family’s duties, of course.
“Yes, your crankiness?” He mumbled tiredly.
“Can you get us both drinks filled with a disgusting amount of sugar? We seriously need to get a grip on things, don’t we?” With a yawn, Bowser forced himself to sit up, running a hand through his oily hair. Damn. When was the last time he bathed again?
Kamek nodded solemnly, “Indeed. I’m on it, sire…” He murmured as he summoned his broom, slowly floating away towards the kitchen.
The lack of sleep was starting to affect his magic, and considering that Kamek is not only the most powerful magikoopa he knows, but his most valuable asset (especially considering he’s technically his dad), it would be catastrophic if he were to lose any more of his energy.
One disgustingly sweet drink later, Bowser was slowly but surely waking up. He was still very exhausted, but at least now he could sit up straight and blink normally without wanting to fall asleep. He tiredly rubbed at his face, pulling at his eyelids, digging his claws into his cheeks to feel something. The small sting of pain helped clear his mind a bit, and at least, he could tune back into the world without feeling like collapsing.
Next to him, he heard Kamek scoff for the umpteenth time at the to-do list he was still writing. Goodness, if there really were that many things to do…
“Kamek? Be straight with me…” Bowser began.
“Unfortunately, sir, that is impossible for me to do.” Kamek replied absentmindedly, scratching something off the list with a quill.
“What?” Bowser’s mind lagged for a moment, the response throwing him completely off-guard (which was good since it woke him up more). Then the comment finally registered.
“Oh.” Then his face contorted into confusion. “Wait, what? No, not that! I didn’t mean—” He sighed, choosing to ignore Kamek’s shit-eating grin as he tried to get back on his initial train of thought.
“How bad is it? The workload?” Bowser clarified with a small glare.
The grin was wiped clean off the royal advisor’s face.
“Where do you want me to start?” He deadpanned.
Bowser leaned back on his throne, covering his face with his hands once more.
“Damn…that much??” He sat up again, turning to Kamek, disbelief written all over his face. “But it’s only been three days! How is there already so much for me to do?” Kamek sighed, lifting himself on his broom and handing the list over to Bowser. He did his best to be sympathetic as he explained, pointing occasionally at each thing he’d written down.
“I understand, my lord, but I must remind you that winter is not far away. Preparations for not only the festival—which is an entire can of worms in itself—but also finding a permanent solution to make sure the ghosts do not return, informing our allies, and ensuring that they have support for when we aren’t available, ensuring the clans within your kingdom will be safe and have enough food for—”
“Shit.” Bowser cursed, realizing the amount of work he had to do. He felt like an absolute idiot for forgetting that winter was coming—had he not stepped outside recently? Didn’t he feel the ever-so-subtle changes in humidity? Have these days truly drained that much energy out of him? Bowser doesn’t get it, he’s been under way more stress than this during much shorter periods of time before, and it’s never affected him like…this. Yes, he is sleep-deprived, but he was sleep-deprived during those moments too!
Now, his attention span felt shorter than usual, and the exhaustion and lack of sleep felt deeper like it had made a home in the core of his bones. That non-existent extra weight made him feel heavier, keeping himself standing up straight was a hassle in itself. Stars above, this morning Bowser couldn’t summon the strength to lift himself out of the nest, knowing all the problems and responsibilities that awaited him the moment he left his bedroom. The thought of facing them…weighed him down.
That never used to happen before.
The Koopalings had to pull him to his feet. He couldn’t muster the strength to pick himself up.
That wasn’t normal. Was something wrong with him?
…was he getting old already? Is that why he felt so weak? No, that was impossible. For a koopa descended from the royal bloodline, he is still very much in his prime. He takes care of his body as best as he can. He’s the prime example of just how strong koopas from the royal family could be, and while he’s never met his ancestors, he’s pretty confident that he could take one of the especially ancient geezers on in a fight. He’d definitely win, too.
The point is: it’s not a physical issue. Bowser was not weak.
…so why did he feel weak?
“—rd? Bowser!”
Bowser jolted in his seat, Kamek’s voice calling out his name startling him out of his head. He immediately turns his attention down to meet the worried gaze of his royal advisor, locking eyes with his own reflection inside the magikoopa’s glasses. Although with the way Kamek was frowning up at him, standing on the arm of his throne, broom abandoned by Bowser’s feet, he wasn’t acting as his royal advisor right now.
He was acting like his father.
“…are you alright?” Kamek asked after a beat. Bowser felt his small hand squeeze his shoulder.
The question felt ridiculous. He huffed, “I’m fine, Dad…”
Kamek’s frown deepened. “No, you’re not.” His hand went straight from his shoulder to his snout. “I know my son, I know when he’s not feeling well, even when he doesn’t know it.” He said sternly.
Bowser remained silent as the loud, buzzing thoughts began to simmer and grow quiet. At the same time, a new ocean of questions surged in the distance. He didn’t dare face that horizon. He couldn’t. He had no strength to…
Wow.
…he really isn’t okay.
Kamek took a moment to just breathe with him, seemingly thinking hard about something. Then, after a moment, he opened his mouth to speak—
“Lord Bowser, The Koopalings have arrived in th—” A red-shelled koopa guard ran into the throne room, announcing the news. He didn’t even get to finish telling Bowser said news when Kamek whirled around to face the guard, scepter in hand.
“Can we EVER share a moment without being interrupted!?” He shrieked in anger, pointing his wand at the guard. The poor koopa yelped as he was lifted off the ground, surrounded by Kamek’s magic as swaths of blue, pink, and purple rapidly began to envelop and wrap around the guard until—
Poof!
In a puff of smoke and fading magic, he was gone. Bowser didn’t have the energy to wonder where Kamek could’ve possibly teleported him.
Kamek cleared his throat, his scepter poofing away as well as he turned back to face Bowser. He placed his hand back on Bowser’s snout, and this time, Bowser couldn’t help but slightly lean into the touch. He still felt exhausted, but he was starting to feel a little bit lighter.
“I was going to say that I know the issue with the ghosts has been hard on you and the younglings. I’m sorry that it’s taking such a toll on you.” Kamek sighed, moving to sit on the armrest of Bowser’s throne, patting his son’s arm reassuringly as he spoke. “While we are behind schedule and we cannot do much about it, I will always be there at your side to do my best to help lighten the load…”
Bowser sighed deeply, a small smile somehow making its way onto his face. “I know. Thanks, Dad…”
Kamek nodded. “Of course. However, that being said…there’s only so much I can do for you as your royal advisor.” He raised his chin to meet Bowser’s eyes once more. “You know that. But, as the years pass, there’s more and more work to be done, and fewer people available to do said work…
And you can only handle so much by yourself, son.”
Bowser raised an eyebrow, confusion beginning to fester once more. Okay…why did Kamek say it like that?
“Of course, I’m not undermining your abilities, far from it. You’ve been ruling this kingdom far better than any other king in our history! You have come out of countless battles victorious and have led your people to prosperity. Your strength has protected not only the Darklands and its people, but your family as well…”
Bowser nodded along. Where was he going with this?
“Perhaps…not as flawlessly as one would prefer. There have certainly been setbacks, but I never promised you that being a king or a father would be easy. I can’t promise you that balancing both will become easier, either…
But it could.”
Irritation began to form in Bowser’s expression. He could hardly think enough as it is, he seriously doesn’t have any motivation to try and understand the secret poetic meaning behind Kamek’s words. He frowned, making his unimpression noticeable as he deadpanned, “Spit it out, Dad, I’m not picking up what you’re trying to drop on my head.”
Kamek huffed, smiling fondly. “What I’m trying to say is that…your stress and workload could lighten significantly…” He trailed off in suggestion. Bowser subconsciously began to lean down, nodding along, encouraging Kamek to get a move on.
“…if you had someone to share it with.”
Bowser’s mind fully crashed to a halt.
“…huh?”
Kamek sighed, summoning his broom in his hand to help himself get back onto his feet. Thankfully, Bowser helped him with a small nudge of his hand, and Kamek smiled at him appreciatively.
“Listen, I know there’s still a part of you that longs for the princess…praying on Mario’s downfall, and such.” He chuckled softly, his tone calm as he continued to speak. “But lately, more and more other parts of you seem to have accepted that going forward, pursuing Princess Peach as a partner may no longer be the best option for you, or your family anymore…”
Bowser remained silent, his eyes wide with shock as his mind absorbed Kamek’s words like a sponge.
…it never even occurred to him that he had lost interest in Peaches. Sure, he thought about her, but not as often and with such passion as he did before when he was much younger.
Climbing onto his broom, Kamek gave Bowser’s arm one final solid pat before beginning to float.
“It’s just something I believe you should think about.” His dad said softly. Nearby, Bowser could hear the tell-tale signs that his children had arrived and were slowly approaching the throne room (the yelling, swearing, and roughhousing was a big indicator). Seems like Kamek heard it too because he nodded to Bowser and said, “We can talk more about it later if you wish. But for now, I’ll leave you be to greet The Koopalings. When you’re ready, sire, I’ll be in your office, prepared to help you tackle that list.”
Oh yeah, Bowser completely forgot he was still holding that thing. He set it aside for now, tucking it into his shell.
“Okay.” He agreed with a nod.
Kamek smiled at him one last time before he too disappeared in a puff of smoke, which Bowser waved away lazily.
Perfect timing, because his children have just finished passing the threshold that separates the hallway to the throne room.
Bowser put on his best solemn fatherly face, trying to fight back a smile as he grumbled, “You guys know that just because I’m not in the room doesn’t mean I can’t hear you swearing, right?”
The Koopalings all froze in place. Next to Roy, the scales on Junior’s face began to pale slightly, staring off into space. Roy himself clicked his teeth, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked down at the young prince.
“I tried to tell you that you was being too loud, Junior…” Roy murmured. At this, Junior glared at Roy, embarrassment making him hot in the face as he too crossed his arms, pouting, “It wasn’t just me who was swearin’…” Nearby, Iggy’s jaw dropped, striking an overdramatic pose of surprise as he turned from where he was standing to look at Junior.
“Well don’t just start giving us away!!” He squawked. With all of his brothers loudly announcing their agreements, much to Bowser’s growing amusement. Wendy wasn’t paying any attention to the scene unfolding right next to her, looking down at her hands instead with a frown Bowser couldn’t quite place. Well, he doesn’t know for sure because Morton is standing right next to her, his frame nearly hiding her from sight.
His attention was drawn back to Junior, who stomped one of his stubby little legs onto the carpet and started waving his arms in the air, pointing an accusatory claw at Roy. “Then why did Roy snitch on me!?”
Before Junior’s brothers could verbally explode on him, Bowser loudly cleared his throat. The boys all froze in place again, growing quiet and looking up at their father, who was grinning and rolling his eyes fondly.
“Anyways,” he began, “we’ll talk about that later. How about you all get up here and tell me how your outing went?” The king encouraged, patting his throne invitingly. Immediately forgetting what they were all fighting over, the boys rushed over, practically flying up the stairs as they all corralled around his throne, beginning to recount the day’s events to them. Wendy took her time climbing up the stairs, still seemingly distracted. However, she appeared to be more attentive the moment she sat down on the step closest to the base of Bowser’s throne, craning her neck up to look at her siblings as they yapped.
“—and then BOOM!! Right in the eye!!” Iggy cackled madly.
“We somehow managed to secure sixteen powerups and set six different fires at the same time!!” Larry eagerly chimed in. Bowser grinned, nodding in approval. Alright, so they spent the day letting off some steam and raiding some abandoned shacks on the edge of The Mushroom Kingdom. A pretty typical outing, if you asked him.
“Well, that’s great!” Bowser chirped with a big smile on his face. “Practiced your magic, had some fun, played some games, messed around…seems like you guys had a nice time!”
“The peace and quiet was a much-appreciated change of pace…” Ludwig commented idly. This was great! His kids finally were starting to look like themselves again. Cheerier, at ease, less tense…
“Ooh, let’s go go-karting later!! We can race in the track that’s in the castle!!” Lemmy exclaimed eagerly, nearly flying off the throne in his attempt to dart toward the racetrack. Bowser quickly stopped him with a firm grab of his shell.
“Woah, woah, woah, slow down there, Lemmy…” Bowser began. Then, addressing all of his children, he continued. “I’m glad that you guys had fun today and got the chance to recharge…but. You were swearing, so I’m gonna have to give you some chores before you’re allowed to go racing.”
He was immediately met with several whines and groans of protest, everyone either hanging their head in disappointment or dragging their hands over their eyes. But he made room for no argument, not even for Junior.
“But papa…” Junior whined. His attempt to get himself out of chores was quickly shot down when Bowser shook his head and gave him a firm stare.
“You can start with the garbage and sorting through the mail, young man.”
Junior sighed loudly before hopping off Bowser’s throne, moping away as he went to do as he was told. Dispatching the rest of the boys was simple enough, he didn’t even need to ask who else swore because not one of them tried to defend themselves or lie to him (he loved how honest they could be). He took most of the chores he assigned from the list Kamek had written down, effectively multitasking and getting rid of a decent portion of the tasks.
As the boys all scattered, leaving the throne room to different parts of the castle, Bowser let himself take a breath. The king knew that they were just going to swear in private when they were sure he was out of earshot, and he’s made his peace with that. Hell, he did the same thing when he was a teenager, how could he punish them for just being who they are? As strange as it might seem, the lesson Bowser is trying to teach them has absolutely nothing to do with swearing. When they’re all grown up, no one is going to give a shit about whether they swear or not, including him.
They will give a shit about what they have to say, though.
They’re royalty. Constantly in the spotlight. Everything they do kind of sets a precedent, and so far, with the influence Bowser has had on his kingdom, nearly everyone has responded with positivity. Nearly everyone. Obviously, not every single person in the world is gonna like him (and the same logic will apply to his children when they get older and take on more responsibilities), but that’s why he had to be careful. The boys thought he wasn’t listening to them when they were cursing up a storm.
Similarly, Bowser has to watch what he says all the time—even in the comfort of his own home—just in case someone who doesn’t like him is lurking around and trying to acquire important info. Whatever the “important info” is doesn’t matter either, the lesson still stands. Watch your mouth at all times. You don’t know who could be listening. If you gotta talk, talk in private or somewhere out of earshot. Simple as that.
All of his kids—save for Junior—are teenagers. They get smarter every day, and he hopes that when they do get smart enough to realize what his lessons actually mean, they’ll appreciate him a little more, maybe even thank them. The goal is ultimately to teach them enough that they start to forge their own wisdom and get smarter than him. That’s when he’ll know he did a good job at raising them.
Alright, that’s enough thinking about the future. If he thinks about the future any longer, he’s gonna miss being in the present with them. Speaking of the present, he’s got to meet Kamek in his office.
So, he goes to stand but then quickly notices that someone is still sitting on the steps that lead up to his throne.
“Wendy?” He tilts his head down at his daughter. She’s been here the entire time? Why didn’t she leave when everybody else did?
Perking up slightly, Wendy turns to look at Bowser over her shoulder before turning back to look at something. The king rose from his throne, took a step forward, and sat down on the same stair Wendy was sitting on. It was a bit awkward since he was so large, he had to sort of stretch his legs out in front of him instead of resting them on another step, but he managed. He noticed that Wendy was holding something in her hands, but she quickly set it to her side, completely out of his sight. Bowser raised an eyebrow, gesturing a hand in her direction.
“Hey there, pinkie. Whatcha got there?” He asked lightly. He didn’t want to make her think she was obligated to show him anything.
In response, Wendy sighed, a conflicted look in her eyes. She glared at the floor for a moment, and Bowser let her take her time. He watched as she fiddled with the golden rings on her wrists before finally taking a deep breath.
“A solution to our ghost problem.” She says confidently. Then, as she turns to Bowser, her stern gaze softens with sympathy. “But you’re not gonna like it.”
Bowser raised an eyebrow. What’s that supposed to mean? Why wouldn’t he like the ghosts to fuck off and stop bothering him and his family?? His mind started racing again, trying to find an answer to his questions. And then he immediately thought the worst.
“No. There is absolutely no way I’m letting that no-good wannabe hero—!”
Wendy frantically began to wave her arms. “No, no, no, it’s not Mario!” She hurriedly spat out before Bowser could explode with fury. The fire that welled up in Bowser’s throat immediately died. His muscles relaxed a bit and he forced away his anger, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat a bit.
“Sorry.” He huffed softly. “That wasn’t cool of me.”
“No, you’re fine. I get it.” Wendy huffed, seemingly annoyed. And yet, if he strained his eyes, Bowser could see the smallest grin forming on her face that she was doing her best to hide. It only served to make him smile too. With a fond roll of her eyes, Wendy reached for what she was hiding beside her. It was a thin piece of paper, and her eyes scanned over it for a minute. All Bowser could see was a bunch of green from where he was sitting, but he didn’t try to peek over her shoulder to get a better look.
Then with an abrupt sigh, the paper loudly rustles as she practically shoves it in his face. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t like the idea either. But right now, we don’t have any other options.” Wendy tells him as Bowser reaches up to pluck the paper from her grasp. As his eyes begin to initially skim over the paper, he realizes it’s a flyer. He’s immediately drawn towards a picture in the top corner of the page.
It’s a picture of someone that looks awfully familiar.
“We all found it during our outing today.” She began to explain as the realization kicked in for him. “Everyone else said it was a stupid idea, and that you would obviously say no, but if I have to deal with another night of Roy and Morton’s weird boy smell or—or Ludwig’s sing-snoring, I swear I am going to lose it.” Wendy growled, her hands clenching into fists as sent a maniacal glare towards Bowser, looking as if she was about one reminder of her brothers from combusting in rage.
Bowser couldn’t even react properly, he was still in shock from the pictures dotted across the flyer.
Well. It definitely wasn’t Mario. But it was basically the second worst person it could’ve possibly been. His brother.
“Seriously??” Was all that came out after staring at the paper for who knows how long. “Him? Of ALL the people in the Mushroom Kingdom, or any kingdom, this guy is the ONLY ghost—” He paused to reread the title again to make sure he was saying the right terminology this time. “—ghostbuster??” He exclaimed in exasperation, looking at Wendy.
Wendy sighed, dragging a hand over one of her eyes. Bowser should probably stop doing that, his children are picking up on that habit. “Yeah, I know, Dad, I know…“ She replied bitterly. Bowser tried to keep a firm grasp on his emotions as she continued to speak. Wendy doesn’t call him dad often, but when she does, she knows just how to use it to make him completely fold.
“Again, I don’t like it either, but unfortunately, he’s the best chance we have. Besides, the visit shouldn’t take too long. We don’t have a lot of ghosts, so if he did come to help us, he’d be in and out in a flash.” She explained, her tone hopeful and horribly persuasive. Bowser sighed loudly, making his distaste known. Did the universe just hate him? Seriously, Mario’s brother? Sure, he doesn’t really have much against the guy, but he’s directly related to his arch-nemesis, and he’s constantly helping Mario in his efforts to beat Bowser. What’s even worse is that he’s GOOD at it—the guy is surprisingly strong for someone who kind of looks like a toothpick.
But out of every single person in the universe, the only solution was—okay, for fuck’s sake, what the hell was his name again?? Leo? Lewis? Louie? He never bothered to remember—He glanced back to the top of the page, squinting at the words neatly placed by his portrait.
‘Luigi.’
What kind of name is that??
“Listen, just…” At the sound of Wendy’s voice, Bowser immediately looked up from the flyer to meet her gaze. She was standing up now, awkwardly messing with her jewelry as she scowled down at the floor.
“Just think about it. But quickly. It’s not just me the ghosts are affecting. It’s everyone. I know you have a lot on your plate right now…but just think of it as just a temporary truce. To achieve a common goal, you know?” Wendy looked up to Bowser, who was listening attentively to her. He nodded, thoughts beginning to swirl once again in his mind as he pondered over this dilemma.
“I will.” He ended up telling her after a moment of silence. Then, standing up once more, he uses his tail to pull Wendy close to him before bending down slightly to wrap her up in a small hug.
“…thanks for being worried about me, pinkie.” He grumbled under his breath.
“You’re welcome, Dad…” Wendy mumbled back, hugging his big shoulders as best as she could. Then, she pulled away, a small smile on her face as she waved goodbye to him. He could only assume she was running off to the race track.
And despite everything, Bowser smiled as he watched her go.
.
.
.
In his office, Kamek remained true to his word and was there waiting for him by the time he opened the doors.
The moment he sat down, the two of them got to business. They broke down the list of what needed to be done (minus the tasks Bowser had given to the Koopalings), how to do it, what it might cost, etc. Kamek helped Bowser fill out some paperwork and helped him draft a budget plan for the oncoming festival, where they discussed the things that should be changed for this year and things that should be kept. That discussion didn’t take up too much time, thankfully, since the festival wasn’t going to be happening for a good while.
Food was a largely discussed topic though. While the Darklands was a nation built on volcanoes, mountainous areas, lava rivers, and beaches made out of volcanic black sand, winter still chilled things a little bit. Their crops are plants meant for their type of climate, they rely on the heat and humidity to grow. While there would never be ice or frost, the small chill and clarity in humidity would be enough to damage the harvest. So, they drafted some plans for more farms, where they should be put, and how to distribute the food equally among the people without it being too much or too little when harvest season came. They also thought about which crops were the most durable, and how much they should tell their farmers to plant.
And although a part of Bowser desperately wanted to bring up what Kamek said earlier (especially now that he was starting to understand that the amount of shit that he does could easily be split and divided amongst him and someone else if he had a partner to help him), he remained silent in his seat. He didn’t particularly feel the urge to open up the floor for discussion on the matter, especially now that he was finally getting in the working groove. That was another topic in itself.
He’s finally getting some work done. But, instead of feeling accomplished, that weight from before was returning. Settling in his bones, weighing him down, making his eyelids droop. It was weird, but Bowser’s faced weirder. If he just shut his brain off and forced himself to do what a responsible king would do, then he could get it done, problem solved. He just didn’t have to think about it, that’s all.
Even if he hated every single second of it, it had to be done. No other way around it.
“It is getting a bit late,” Kamek suddenly announced, throwing a glance at the grandfather clock neatly positioned flush to the wall of Bowser’s study. “I have to resume classes with the younglings, lest we get further behind schedule.” He shudders at the thought, shaking the idea out of his head. “May I leave you to your devices? Or do you think you will need me to continue?”
Bowser was a king. Sure, he wouldn’t be here or be king without Kamek, but a little bit of paperwork and organization wouldn’t kill him (too quickly). He pretended to look busy by cracking open a random file and viewing its contents. The file turned out to be one from the year prior, filled with detailed plans and ideas for the festival that he kept to reuse. Actually, he should probably not lose this because this thing is probably going to save him from so much pain and suffering.
Feigning concentration (however THAT is supposed to look like on him), Bowser finally replies. “Do what you gotta do, man. Now shoo.” He lightheartedly flicked his wrist, urging Kamek out the door. With a small chuckle and his usual smile, Kamek turned around on his broom in mid-air, passing through the threshold and disappearing into the hallways.
The moment he was gone, Bowser sighed. The file fell from his fingers, collapsing on his desk with a muted clatter. He glared at the file like it owed him money, but no matter how hard he tried to be tough, his heart just wasn’t into it. Seriously? How pathetic can he get? He’s too weak to do paperwork now? Any urge to continue onwards and be productive resulted in Bowser just groaning and rubbing at his eyes. Great, now he felt a headache coming on. See what a bunch of no-good paperwork was doing to him?
‘Focus. Shut your brain off and just do the damn thing.’
Forcing himself to pick up a pen and a random sheet of paper, Bowser snorted sharply, smoke shooting out by his nostrils. He struggled to jot down a copy of an item list that was nestled in the file, but he was determined to see his task of at least organizing and planning far ahead enough for his future self to take care of the rest of the workload. As his mind was beginning to quiet, and his mannerisms were becoming more routine, Bowser couldn’t help but feel a little proud of himself. Look at him. Scribbling important stuff on some papers for the sake of his kingdom’s prosperity.
It’s gotta be done.
Bowser didn’t know how long he’d been doing actual work by himself. Ten, fifteen, maybe twenty minutes? Maybe five and Bowser was being dramatic. Definitely wouldn’t be the first time.
He placed the item list in the back of the folder, pulling out more papers and shuffling through them, briefly skimming their contents as he tried to figure out which area he should tackle first. Maybe he should move on from working on the festival entirely and start thinking about his future meeting with King Boo. What should he say? Should he let King Boo perform his annoying evil laugh first before decking him in the face, or just straight-up deck him in the face at the first feasible opportunity?
The doors to his study burst wide open with a jarring slam.
Bowser jumps in his seat, his heart fluttering at the sound as he looks up from his desk to the doorway (totally didn’t scare the shit out of him, what gave you that idea?). Of course he gets interrupted just as he is starting to be productive. The universe must really not like him, today.
Standing in the threshold of the doorway was Junior, panting like he had just ran a marathon, the scales on his cheeks slightly reddened with exertion. Bowser’s eyebrows raised in surprise, yet the moment he tried to open his mouth to question his son (wait, isn’t he supposed to be with Kamek in his classes?), Junior took that as an invitation to dart into the room and leap onto his desk, scattering nearly all of the pages in the process.
“Junior, what the—”
The young koopa threw down a slightly crumpled envelope onto his desk by his feet. Bowser paused mid-sentence, his eyes immediately recognizing the familiar wax seal that adorned the envelope. He couldn’t dwell on it for long though, because Junior suddenly flung himself at him. With a small ‘oof’, Bowser’s arms instinctively held onto his small body, choking weakly as his son’s arms wrapped around his neck and squeezed as hard as he could (this kid was seriously getting way too strong).
“I’m so happy!!” Junior exclaimed, his shrill voice ringing in Bowser’s ears. “Thanks, papa!! I’m so happy for you! This is the best day EVER!! I can’t wait!!”
Bowser’s eyes narrowed in confusion. What was he talking about? Gently prying his son away from his neck, Bowser met his eyes as he held him still in an attempt to calm him down. But the moment he saw his face, something inside him melted at the dopey, fiendish, and gleeful smile stretching Junior's small snout. That one early fang that was growing out earlier than it was supposed to added to the kid’s radioactive contagious joy, his entire body wiggling due to the sheer force he was wagging his tail with.
Bowser did his best to keep his expression neutral, but it was a losing battle. With a crooked smile, he spoke. “Slow down, Junior. I have—”
“I CAN’T!!” He blurted out. “I’M SO EXCITED!! PLEASE, YOU GOTTA LET ME DOWN, PAPA, I GOTTA GO DRAW MY OUTFIT!!”
Outfit? Before Bowser could ask him what that was supposed to mean, Junior had already wormed his way out of his grasp, and it was just dawning on him that the kid had said “please.” Not that Junior was abhorrently disrespectful, but saying please wasn’t exactly the top word in his vocabulary.
He watched—still reeling—as Bowser Jr. hopped out of his lap, nearly tripping as he landed on the floor. He quickly righted himself and practically dashed towards the open doorway on all fours. As he gained speed, Bowser watched as Junior spun around, shrinking into his shell and using the momentum he gained to zoom out into the hallway, spinning away so fast, he left behind skid marks and a trail of smoke.
“I gotta tell everyone!!” He heard Junior’s fading voice screech.
“I WANNA WEAR A BOWTIE!!”
…
Uh. What the hell just happened?
Bowser blinked once, twice, before shaking the shocked stupor out of his head and glancing back down at his desk. Half of the work he’d done and organized was currently on the ground, but he couldn’t muster up any ounce of anger, his mind captivated by the innocent-looking envelope lying on his desk. The paper was slightly crumpled (probably from Junior’s holding onto it as he ran here), and the pink and gold wax seal bore the royal crest of The Mushroom Kingdom.
His eyes widened.
Peaches?
Usually, when Bowser thought of the princess, his heart would skip a beat, and a fond, soothing warmth would spread throughout his body. He would literally get all warm and fuzzy inside.
But now? The warmth was…dull.
Instead of surrounding and embracing him, filling him with joy, he just felt a small warmth in his chest, and that was it. Nothing else aside from curiosity and suspense, a small chill from the latter making him shudder in his seat.
That never used to happen before either.
Carefully picking up the small envelope with his claws, he realized it had already been opened up by Junior. He wondered what the hell was in here that could’ve possibly made his son react so energetically. All he sees so far is a neatly folded pink and white paper. A letter? For Bowser?
The king flipped the envelope over, checking the address. Bowser’s surprise grows when he fails to find his name on the envelope, but instead finds the words: “Bowser’s Castle, Darklands” in Peach’s signature cursive handwriting.
This is a letter from Princess Peach, sent from her castle to his.
His entire perspective on the situation changed completely, and he lightened his hold on the envelope as much as he could without dropping it. Doing his best to not rip the paper nestled inside the envelope, Bowser pinched his claws together around a folded corner and slowly pulled it out.
From there, he quickly set down the envelope and unfolded the paper, pulling it towards his face as his eyes eagerly scanned the page. When the words began to blur together, Bowser scowled impatiently, snarling as he hastily yanked open one of the drawers in his desk, his movements pacifying as his fingers gently curled around a neatly stowed away pair of glasses. Grumbling under his breath, the king carefully placed them on the bridge of his snout, making sure they wouldn’t fall off as he raised the letter once more.
The words were now as clear as day. Perfect.
Bowser cleared his throat, beginning to read aloud in small murmurs.
“Dear friends,
I sincerely hope this invitation finds you well. As many of you already know, I’ve recently gotten engaged to Mario, my knight in shining jean-clad armor, and one of the guardians of my very kingdom. I’m very happy and excited, I cannot wait for him to be crowned as the Prince Consort of The Mushroom Kingdom!
I would love nothing more than to share my happiness with you all and invite you to our wedding! It will be hosted in the Mushroom Kingdom, and the dress code is ball/formal/royalty.
Hey! It’s a-me, Mario! Peach’s OFFICIAL fiancé! I stole Peach’s letter to vandalize this invitation with this message: we’re all friends! Just wear your best dukes, a smile, and maybe bring a few gifts if you’d like (we certainly wouldn’t decline any).
We both eagerly hope to see you there! More details of the location and date are on the back of this invitation.
Sincerely, Princess Peach
And soon-to-be Prince Consort Mario”
At the very bottom of the page, right below the signatures, was a paragraph written smaller than the rest of the letter.
“P.S., only members from Kingdoms who are allied with The Mushroom Kingdom are allowed to attend. If anyone from The Darklands attempts to attend the event, they will be denied entry and the Prince Consort and Princess will be notified. Thank you :)”
Bowser had stopped reading aloud a long time ago, the grin practically slapped off of his face.
He stared at that obnoxious smiley face at the end of the letter, boring through his skull, taunting him.
His claws threatened to pierce through the small little paper, his hands twitching as he watched some of his scales begin to turn black.
He took in the deepest breath he’s probably ever taken in his life, his lungs burning as he continued to inhale, and then he held it all in. Hold. Counted to a random number. And then exhaled.
Smoke was the first thing he saw. His office rapidly became engulfed in smoke, a dark, nearly black fog taking over the entire room. Bowser gently set down the letter on top of the envelope, and carefully pushed it, along with the several random papers he was working with beneath it, into the trash bucket by his desk. The king slowly let his head hang. Setting his elbows on the desk, he leaned forward, pushing his head into his awaiting hands, and closing his eyes.
He won.
Mario has officially won.
He and Peaches were going to officially tie the knot. All the efforts he put into the princess over the years, doing his damn best to woo her, to try and provide what he lacked as a father to his children all flushed down the drain with one damn letter.
Bowser has officially failed.
If he strained his ears enough, he could hear the sound of his own heart shattering into a million pieces.
And he felt the weight that had been lingering in his bones grow. Like another heavy blanket of pure shit was kindly wrapped around his shoulders. He felt weak again, and he let his elbows slide down until his chin hit the surface of the desk. He slumped over completely, feeling another sigh coming on.
And yet.
Despite how heavy he felt, he felt something else fill his body. It felt light. Like a nice, refreshing stream of lava slowly melted through him. Crossing his arms, he rested his chin on his forearms, sighing once more and letting his muscles fully relax into the desk.
The feeling is familiar. Bowser was good with familiar.
It felt like…
Relief.
It seemed like every other month he had dedicated all his time to coming up with elaborate plans to kidnap Peach. He put his all into each one, using everything and everyone he had to see the plan through. His army, his family, himself, his castle, Bowser had truly lost count of the number of castles he’s not only built, but also had rebuilt from his years of rivalry with Mario. No matter what he threw at the human, he always ended up losing, and losing meant embarrassing himself, his kingdom, and his children. He would always have to be dragged away from the battlefield by them.
Imagine that. Imagine putting your all into winning for not just you, but for the sake of your family, only to lose in a pathetically dramatic fashion each time and going home to your family a loser. Most of the time he couldn’t even manage to look anyone in the eye the first few days after the loss, the shame overwhelming him and making him react too strongly at times.
If Bowser was his own dad, he would feel ashamed of being related to such a big sore loser.
He had no idea how his children could still love him, still be content around him after everything he’s put them through.
At least now, it was finally over.
Mario won.
And as much as it did infuriate him to acknowledge, it also meant that he didn’t have to pine after her anymore.
Bowser might be many things, including a villain. But he isn’t that kind of monster. He knew when he was beat, and he certainly wasn’t going to start chasing after an engaged or married woman. That’s where he drew the line. Marriage is one of the most important things a person can ever experience in their lives, permanently binding them to another person, the person that they truly love more than anything else in the entire universe. He would never try to break that bond or try to destroy that promised commitment. If he went past his own line, what lesson would that end up teaching his children?
That he’s a huge hypocrite? That they should bypass their moral limit whenever they felt like it? That they can just start chasing after people who are already promised, sworn, or betrothed to another? Or even someone who’s married to someone else?
Bowser knew Peach was kind of into Mario (and Mario was definitely into her), but they had never made anything official! He didn’t even know when they started to see each other. If he had known, he probably would’ve started to back off (after making a few last valiant attempts). Did it even matter anymore? Thinking about when they started seeing each other? Bowser felt like it didn’t matter anymore. It felt wrong to think about Mario’s…love life with Peach.
Like it was an invasion of their privacy.
…hold on. Was that how Mario and Peach felt every time Bowser went through with one of his plans? Like he was being a creep and invading their privacy?
Holy shit. It was!
Trying to think about his enemy’s personal life felt…intrusive. Wrong. Terrible, even.
…this is how they felt? How they’ve been feeling…?
Geez…
He gets it now.
Oh stars, what the hell has he been doing? Or rather, what has he done because the last thing on Bowser’s mind is having the audacity to be enough of a sore loser and continue planning and scheming!
And you know what’s funny? It almost feels like Bowser has won too, in a weird way. Again, he didn’t need to waste his time chasing after Princess Peach anymore. He could finally start to focus on other things instead of his own love life, like his family and his kingdom. He could spend his time with his loved ones instead of busting his ass trying to find the perfect missing piece in their family that would…probably never exist if he’s being honest.
Peach was quite literally the perfect woman. The perfect candidate. The perfect hypothetical mother.
She was beautiful, she was a princess, a royal like him. She was sweet, kind, and strong. She always put herself first before her kingdom, even if it meant constantly being kidnapped to protect her people. He always admired that about her. She never got upset or corrected Junior when he referred to her as “Mama Peach”, she always listened to her citizens and solved every problem they threw her way.
Bowser knew if she was a part of their family, unlike him, she’d be able to teach them some things about being kind too. Bowser could only do so much, after all. He didn’t really know the first thing about to be someone like Peach. The very idea of him trying seemed horrendously laughable.
So…he’s free. Liberated from a journey he’s been on for years.
But at what cost?
Never in his life before did he feel like this.
Heavy, weak…pathetic. All he wanted this entire time was…someone who he thought would be the solution to all of his problems. But even if Peach did marry him…what would happen from there? Would that have fixed everything? Truly plugged up all the holes in both his heart, the holes in his family? What if it wasn’t as simple as he’d been thinking all this time? What if winning…somehow accidentally made everything worse?
Stars, now he was starting to feel a bit glad that Peach was taken now.
…
Should he crash the wedding? Technically, it would be fair since Mario crashed his and Peach’s…
…no, there was no real point. It wouldn’t change the fact that they love each other, and Mario would just kick his ass again. Besides, in the letter it said that allies of the Mushroom Kingdom were allowed to attend, so he wouldn’t just be fighting Mario, he would be practically waging war on several different kingdoms.
And again, he would just be crossing his own line. What would that be teaching his children? Especially Junior, who looked up to him the most? He was the prince, the heir to the throne. The last thing he wanted for any of his kids—especially the future king—was to end up becoming like him. It certainly wouldn’t be teaching them anything good, that’s for sure.
Speaking of the future king, how did Junior even obtain the not-invitation?
Oh yeah, Bowser made him go get the mail.
And then he read through the letter, and then he came into his office, awfully excited, gave him a hug and said he was gonna draw a new outfit and that it was the best day ever and…
Wait, why would he need a new outfit again?
They weren’t going to the wedding. They were literally banned from attending.
Junior doesn’t even like wearing most clothes. He only likes wearing clothes for special events like sports competitions.
Why would he be so happy about being banned from the wedding?
…Junior did know that they were banned, right?
Right?
Bowser suddenly broke out into a cold sweat, immediately raising his head from the desk. He quickly leaned over, snatching the envelope and letter from the trash bin, his poor heart beginning to race again.
Did Junior even read the note at the end?
As he picked up the letter, he realized there was a perfectly straight crease in the paper located directly under Mario and Peach’s signatures. He refolded the paper, following the crease lines, and—yep, the last portion of the letter could be folded backward and excluded from view.
Junior didn’t read the fine print.
Oh, who the hell was he trying to fool, Junior wouldn’t even read the fine print even if he DID see it!!
Bowser’s hand shot towards his hair, tugging at it in distress as he finally realized why Junior was so excited.
He thought Peach was being nice to him again. That after everything, she would invite him and his family to her very own wedding. He’s suspected for a while that his children were kind of over the idea of Princess Peach being their new mom, but he didn’t know Junior would be this supportive of her!!
Though, it’s probably just her. Even if she was getting married to Mario, realistically, Junior would probably ignore Mario the entire time he was there—what the hell is he talking about, they’re not attending the wedding!!
Oh shit, he has to tell everyone before—
Fuck, he can’t!
As Junior was leaving, he said he was going to tell everyone.
If his children had taught him anything, it was to believe them when they said they were going to do something. Bowser had been so caught up in the realization that he’s now the biggest loser of all time that Junior’s probably already told the entire castle about the wedding!!
Shit, he’s gotta break the truth to them, and—
…and what would happen once he did?
Bowser saw the look in his eyes. He saw how happy Junior was. Happy to have been invited, happy that he was going to get a brand-new outfit, fit and fancy for the occasion, and happy for him.
For Bowser.
He could still hear his shrill little voice in his head, feel his tiny little arms around his neck as if he had never left.
“Thanks, papa!! I’m so happy for you! This is the best day EVER!!”
‘I’m so happy for you.’
…how was Junior seeing this? Did he see it as his dad…finally winning for once? Finally getting the chance to move on from Peach? Did he see it as being able to spend time with his family more? Instead of him being too busy, engrossed in his work? Engrossed in his obsession with Peach?
He might not be Junior, but he knew his son pretty damn well.
He saw how happy he was.
For him.
For the invitation. He was probably thinking about finally being allowed into the Mushroom Kingdom. Being formally invited there, with his siblings, all dolled up for the occasion without being outcasted or treated differently because they’ve always been feared…
…what would he say when Bowser told him they were actually banned from the wedding?
The big, dopey, toothy grin would be wiped completely off his face. The sparkle in his eyes would die out. He’d start slouching, dragging his tail across the floor as he walked…
What would the rest of his kids say? What would they think?
He pictured all seven of their little faces. Big, bright beautiful smiles on their faces, completely shattering and turning into frowns.
The exact same looks they’d sport after losing yet another long, and hard-fought battle.
The image painfully tugged at his heartstrings. They’d probably think: “Oh, of course we’re banned. No real surprise there. Why did we ever think we we’re invited? That’s such a silly idea. We’re a bunch of fools for even thinking it. Being formally invited to the biggest and coolest wedding in the entire universe, dancing, wearing cool outfits, having fun being normal people instead of just the villains? What a joke.’
How many times have they lost? How many times has Bowser seen that look on their faces before?
Too many. Way too many times.
He can’t. He just can’t tell them. He refuses to. They deserve to be happy, they deserve to win, to wear stupid and silly outfits, and to be warmly welcomed by all kinds of people from all walks of life. When would they ever get another opportunity like that again?
To just be…themselves? Outside of The Darklands?
To just be Bowser Jr, Wendy O., Lemmy, Larry, Iggy, Morton, Roy, and Ludwig von Koopa?
Not the Koopa Troop, or The Koopalings, or Bowser’s minions, or the villains of the story that always ruined everything?
…probably never.
Bowser took a deep breath, a sudden wave of determination and certainty overcoming him as he flipped over the letter, viewing the details of the wedding event.
“Congratulations! You Have—" There was a big red arrow drawn next to “have”, leading up to the word “NOT” written just above it, “Been Invited!
Princess Peach’s Castle, Mushroom Kingdom
March 10th, at noon.
You must show your ticket of entry at the door.
The ceremony will start at noon on the dot, make sure to be there early!”
Bowser knew what he had to do.
The king somehow had to get nine tickets to Peach and Mario’s wedding by early spring. Currently, it was fall, early October to be exact. Which means he had about six months to get them. He couldn’t give his family another loss, he refused to let them down again.
But how was the more important question? How was he supposed to magically appear on Peach’s invite list? It wasn’t like he could just steal tickets from other people. They’d probably snitch on him. Not to mention, even if they did show up, tickets in hand, would they even be allowed to enter?? Maybe he could get Kamek to perform some sort of glamour spell on them all before they left! They could go as a group of people who are already invited!
…no, that defeats the whole purpose of letting the kids be themselves.
Okay, how about he just focuses on finding a way to get the tickets first, then think about the finer details later?
Gosh, how was he going to pull this off? Bowser might be a genius, but he isn’t a miracle worker! But he’s probably gonna have to become one. He’s gotta start preparing for the festival, he’s gotta make sure he attends the meeting with King Boo about the ghost problem—oh and the ghosts!! He had to handle the ghosts too, ghosts that were scaring his kids and not letting either of them sleep!
Oh hell no, if Bowser was gonna do all of this shit, he needed his beauty sleep. Out of everything he’s willing to sacrifice, these past three days have proven that sleep is not going to be it.
Right, so, that just leads him back to square one. The ghosts. Had to deal with that first before he dealt with anything else. Kamek said to find an exterminator—didn’t he find one today? He remembers having a conversation with Wendy about hiring one he didn’t like…
Holy shit, wait.
Bowser dug back into his shell, fishing around until he heard the sound of a paper crumbling.
He eagerly pulls out the flyer given to him by Wendy, reading the top of the page.
‘Luigi’s Ghostbusting Service!’
Mario’s little brother.
That’s it!! He’s the key!!
That’s how he was gonna get the tickets!!
The guy was Mario’s brother, he’s probably helping him and Peach plan the wedding in the first place! He even might be responsible for the tickets! Well, even if he wasn’t, he definitely had to have access to acquiring them!
In a burst of excitement, Bowser ripped off his glasses, grinning like he’d just won the lottery.
His entire life just got simplified, holy fuck! He is a genius after all!! This would be so easy, Greenie was a huge scaredy cat! If he played his cards right, all he had to do was hire him, have him get rid of the ghosts, and while no one’s looking, threaten his life and scare him enough to get him those tickets and force him to keep his mouth shut about it with magic or something!
Oh, and also not let it slip out to his family that they weren’t actually invited!!
This meant that he had to keep this entire operation a secret. Not even his dad could know, which was going to be tricky. Kamek knew him a little too well, and if he found out, who knows how he’d react? He might tell his kids the truth, or maybe try to stop him…or he might even help him. Bowser doesn’t know for sure, so it isn’t worth him risking it. He couldn’t let anyone grow suspicious either, because keeping a secret and going behind everyone’s backs was one thing.
Lying was another. He’s a shit liar when it comes to his family.
So, he had to be extra careful with what he said and what he did from now on. He has to hide this letter, for starters, so Kamek wouldn’t find it. He slips both the flyer, envelope, and letter into his shell.
But besides that? His plan was foolproof! He’s literally gonna kill two birds with one stone!! Finally, he was going to be able to fall asleep in peace and use the bathroom without fear that a ghost was watching him!
He and his children were going to be winners!! They were going to attend the greatest wedding in the universe and be normal! He was going to be the greatest koopa king who ever ruled and show his kingdom that their kind can be accepted anywhere!
He was going to make his kids happy and live up to his title as the greatest dad in the entire universe!
.
.
.
Later that night, while trying to get some sleep and failing miserably, Bowser realized that maybe his plan wasn’t entirely foolproof.
He still doesn’t know how they’re going to get into the wedding without causing a scene.
If King Boo finds out Luigi was at his castle and Bowser didn’t capture him, he’s definitely gonna freak the fuck out.
For the next six months, he somehow has to keep all of this under wraps while his children prepare for the wedding. He has to somehow figure out answers to their endless questions that Bowser himself didn’t know. Literally, earlier today Iggy had asked him if he could send a letter to Princess Peach, requesting if he could bring his chain chomp as his plus one.
He had to start getting good at lying to his kids, and fast.
As much as it hurt him to do, this was for their own good. This would benefit them, and his entire kingdom extremely.
Are the methods he’s using to do right by his kids ethically and morally sound? No, and when are they ever?
Does he have the best intentions as a father and a king? Always.
Has he been the best father he could possibly be in recent years? No, and he plans to rectify that.
Does he love his family to the point where he will always put them first before himself, at the cost of his sanity, his happiness, and his sense of self?
Bowser cracked an eye open, peering around the nest. Tonight, everyone was huddled close to his face, many of them cuddling each other, purring happily in their sleep, and getting along for once. No ghosts had come by to bother them so far, and Kamek seemed to be fighting the urge to snore, his arms wrapped around as many children as he could possibly fit in them despite being smaller than nearly all of them. Right next to him, Lemmy was using his scepter (that he definitely stole, as Kamek came here intending to guard them and make sure no ghosts disturbed their sleep) as a makeshift teddy bear.
The answer to that question was obvious.
Yes.
.
.
.
Bonus:
That night, Bowser dreamt of being completely weightless, soaring through the sky with his family, with not a care in the world.
His only wish was that he’d never feel that horrible weight in his bones ever again.