Yasu's gang brainrot

by flosverygoofy

Summary:

originally, someone from the tm:c server asked for me to make a pdf or ao3 work w somehting i sent in the hc channel

will just be me yapping about Yasu's friendgroup, will include hcs and also some scenario ideas ^_^^

Notes:

Hi... there's not enough fanfics that includes Yasu's gang so I'm gonna do it myself.

(Fanfics will be uploaded on a seperate work, this is just for hcs and scenario ideas)

Chapter 1: Suspect Trend

Notes:

I edited some stuff here to make the reactions feel more,,,, alive.

Kayla → Jason
K: “Suspect is the group’s golden retriever, but the moment we need a distraction, he’s like, ‘I’m on it!’ and pulls a Shakespeare monologue out of nowhere.”
J: “Hey, it works every time.”

Kayla → Leon
K: “Suspect swears he’s a ‘chill guy’, but he nearly dislocated his shoulder in a push-up contest.”
L: “Look, I had to win.”
K: “No you didn’t.”

Kayla → William
K: “Suspect is quiet and mysterious but will destroy you in Guitar Hero without breaking a sweat.”
W: “…Skill speaks for itself.”

Yasu → Jason
Y: “Suspect comforts everyone, but the second he gets stressed, he spirals like he’s auditioning for a tragedy.”
J: “It’s called being expressive, Yasu!”

Yasu → Kayla
Y: “Suspect says she’s ‘responsible,’ but I once caught her Googling ‘how to survive a bear attack’ while camping.”
K: “Hey! That’s just preparation!”

Jason → Kayla
J: “Suspect plans everything like she’s the mom of the group, but the moment she sees something fun, she forgets all her rules.”
K: “It’s called spontaneity, Jay!”

Jason → Yasu
J: “Suspect says he ‘doesn’t care,’ but he always shares his umbrella with me even when it’s barely raining.”
Y: “Would you rather get sick? I don't think so.”

Jason → Leon
J: “Suspect says he’s laid-back, but he starts doing push-ups whenever he loses in Mario Kart.”
L: “It's called discipline.”
J: “It’s called overreacting.”

Jason → William
J: “Suspect pretends he doesn’t care, but he tunes his guitar to match the vibe of every hangout.”
W: “… Music reflects mood.”
J: “Bro, you made it match our pizza toppings.”

Leon → Jason
L: “Suspect gives motivational speeches like a coach, but he’s the first to cry when we win.”
J: “I’m expressing my joy!”

Leon → William
L: “Suspect says he’s quiet because he’s thinking, but I’ve caught him humming metal covers of Disney songs.”
W: “… Art is fluid.”

Cecil → Jason
C: “Suspect hypes us up during horror games but is the first to scream and run when the killer shows up.”
J: “It’s called being invested in the experience!”

Cecil → Leon
C: “Suspect insists he’s not scared of anything but almost fainted when he saw my clown plushie.”
L: “Why do you even own that?!”
C: “Hey! Those are my children!”

Cecil → Yasu
C: “Suspect rolls his eyes at my horror theories, but when we hear a weird noise, he’s the first to grab a weapon.”
Y: “A man who sleeps with a machete is a fool every night but one.”
C: “Did you steal that quote from your pinterest page?”
Y: “No, I stole it from Jason.”

Cecil → William
C: “Suspect claims he doesn’t like games but can name every single Resident Evil boss by memory.”
W: “… I appreciate good design.”

William → Leon
W: “Suspect is always joking around, but I caught him rewatching his old sports highlights the other day.”
L: “And you don't rewatch any of your concert stuff? H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E.”

William → Cecil
W: “Suspect says she’s ‘logical,’ but she has more horror plushies than actual pillows.”
C: “… Plushies are pillows!”

Kayla → Leon
K: "Suspect calls himself ‘the muscle,’ but is the first to scream in a haunted house."
L: “Cecil’s fault for telling me about cursed artifacts!”
K: “Yeah, but you sprinted out before the actors even showed up.”

Jason → Kayla
J: "Suspect swears she’s not competitive but started a prank war that lasted three weeks."
K: “You fell for every single one, though.”
J: “… Fair point.”

Jason → William
J: "Suspect writes music so haunting it gives me goosebumps. And he does it without trying."
W: “... Thanks?”
J: “No, seriously, teach me your ways!”

Jason → Leon
J: "Suspect pretends to hate drama but knows everyone’s gossip before they do."
L: “Keeping informed is different from stirring the pot!”
J: “Uh-huh. Sure.”

Yasu → Kayla
Y: "Suspect can talk her way out of anything except being blamed for her own pranks."
K: “I can too! Watch me.”
Y: “… This I gotta see.”

Yasu → Jason
Y: "Suspect claims to be confident but practices confessions in the mirror like he’s auditioning."
J: “Who told you that?!”
Y: “Your reflection, probably.”

Cecil → William
C: "Suspect looks innocent but shreds the guitar like he’s summoning demons."
W: “… Demons inspire art.”
C: “Remind me never to ask for a lullaby.”

William → Jason
W: "Suspect gets ‘inspired’ by everything but never finishes what he starts."
J: “The process is the art!”
W: “... That’s just procrastination with extra steps.”

William → Leon
W: "Suspect laughs at my practice riffs but can’t even clap on beat."
L: “Rhythm is overrated. It’s about vibes.”
W: "Please never pick up an instrument.”

William → Kayla
W: "Suspect can solve people’s problems but runs when her own feelings are involved."
K: “I don’t run—I strategize!”
W: “By ignoring them?”
K: “Exactly!”

Daniel → Cecil
D: "Suspect analyzes horror games so much she forgets to play them."
C: “I’m building a mental map, Daniel!”
D: “Yeah, of every jump scare you haven’t even seen yet.”

Daniel → Yasu
D: "Suspect is great at puzzles but somehow always misplaces his phone."
Y: “It’s not lost! It’s… temporarily misplaced.”
D: “Yasu, it’s in your pocket.”

Daniel → Kayla
D: "Suspect says she’s not afraid of anything, but one spider in her room says otherwise."
K: “LIAR!!”

Kayla → Leon
K: "Suspect probably challenges his reflection to a fight every morning."
L: "Who else is going to keep me on my toes?"
K: "I'm pretty sure that's called denial, but okay."

Kayla → Jason
K: "Suspect would play a whole horror story to convince you that the sky’s falling."
J: "Drama’s an art form, Kayla."
K: "Just say you want to scare me next time, 'kay?"

Daniel → Cecil
D: "Suspect has solved every mystery in every game except the mystery of why her sleep schedule is nonexistent."
C: "Sleep is overrated. Gotta stay sharp for the next lore drop!"
D: "You’re going to crash into the lore if you keep this up."

Daniel → William
D: "Suspect probably believes a guitar solo can defeat a killer."
W: "If it doesn’t, then what am I even doing with my life?"
D: "I think you're about to face the killer of your sanity."

Cecil → Kayla
C: "Suspect’s so charismatic, even the ghosts want to hang out with her."
K: "It’s the energy, Cecil."
C: "Or maybe they just need help finding their way out…"

Cecil → Leon
C: "Suspect acts like his muscles can solve everything… but can they fix my laptop?"
L: "I’ll give it a try!"
C: "Please don’t touch anything. Just… no."

Cecil → William
C: "Suspect’s probably trying to summon a spirit with guitar notes, but in the process, scares himself."
W: "It’s a vibe, alright?"
C: "The spirit of ‘please stop playing at 3 AM’ is strong with you."

Leon → Kayla
L: "Suspect would throw a party in the middle of a horror movie and somehow still have a blast."
K: "I’m just that good at balancing chaos."
L: "I’m sure the killer would love that kind of chaos."

Leon → Daniel
L: "Suspect treats every random fact like it’s an ancient treasure."
D: "That’s because it is, Leon."
L: "I think you need to leave the past behind... it’s cluttering the present."

Leon → Cecil
L: "Suspect’s idea of ‘relaxing’ is watching every horror movie at once."
C: "It’s called multitasking, Leon."
L: "I’m pretty sure that is called ‘chaos.’"

William → Kayla
W: "Suspect can somehow make friends with a ghost, but can’t sit still long enough to focus."
K: "I’m a people person, okay?"
W: "Well, good luck charming the killer."

William → Daniel
W: "Suspect would spend days explaining a single samurai battle like it’s a soap opera."
D: "There’s so much depth to it, William!"
W: "There’s also depth in being on time for things."

William → Cecil
W: "Suspect probably analyzes monsters the way I analyze my guitar strings."
C: "It’s an art form, William."
W: "Right, because horror games are definitely the same as music theory."

William → Leon
W: "Suspect probably believes the solution to every fight is a headlock."
L: "It’s about the energy, man."
W: "I think that’s called ‘getting a head injury.’"

Jason → Leon
J: "Suspect would probably end up ‘accidentally’ winning a fight by sheer luck."
L: "It’s a skill, not a fluke."
J: "It’s a fluke if I end up not getting hurt."

Yasu → Cecil
Y: "Suspect probably tries to outsmart the killer by playing every horror game in real life."
C: "That’s the plan, obviously."
Y: "And then you die in real life, genius."

Yasu → Leon
Y: "Suspect probably believes that every fight has an audience."
L: "I’m just preparing for the next big moment."
Y: "The only big moment is your ego."

Kayla → Cecil
K: "Suspect has a strategy for every scenario except how to stop rambling mid-conversation."
C: “Not true! I stop when I run out of air!”
K: “Cecil, that’s… not better.”

Jason → Kayla
J: "Suspect plans our group trips down to the minute but forgets her own wallet."
K: “I don’t forget it; I… strategically leave it behind.”
J: “And then strategically borrow from me?”
K: “You’re such a good friend, Jason!”

Jason → Yasu
J: "Suspect avoids me while drinking iced coffee with a sore throat, like I won’t notice."
Y: “…You wouldn’t if Kayla didn’t snitch.”
J: “I NOTICE EVERYTHING, YASU.”

Jason → William
J: "Suspect looks like a tortured artist but is actually just really good at avoiding group chats."
W: “…It’s self-care.”
J: “No, it’s being a ghost.”

Cecil → Kayla
C: "Suspect thinks she’s the boss, but folds the second I bring out my crochet projects."
K: “Your horror-themed plushies are my weakness. Sue me.”
C: “I might crochet you a lawyer.”

Cecil → Yasu
C: "Suspect keeps saying, ‘Don’t worry about me,’ while ignoring 100% of his own problems."
Y: “They’re not problems, they’re... manageable inconveniences.”
C: “Right. Manageable enough to give Jason a migraine.”

Cecil → Leon
C: "Suspect plays horror games with me but screams louder than I do during chase sequences."
L: “Your reaction is contagious!”
C: “My reaction is called bravery.”

Leon → William
L: "Suspect writes music that could make a grown man cry but refuses to play it in public."
W: “…It’s not ready.”
L: “Bro, I’ve been crying to your riffs for weeks. It’s ready.”

Daniel → Jason
D: "Suspect could probably win an Oscar but is too busy motivating the rest of us."
J: “…You guys are my real audience.”
D: “Sweet, but stop deflecting. Go get your trophy.”

Kayla → William
K: "Suspect glares at strangers but adopts stray cats like it’s a second job."
W: “…Cats are trustworthy.”
K: “More trustworthy than people?”
W: “Yes.”

Kayla → Cecil
K: "Suspect crocheted a plushie so cursed, it gave me nightmares. Twice."
C: “It’s not cursed; it’s thematic!”
K: “Sure, Cecil. I’m sleeping with a nightlight now, thanks to your ‘theme.’”

Jason → Kayla
J: "Suspect says she’s a team player, but her pranks have a 50% casualty rate."
K: “Casualties build character!”
J: “Kayla, you’re the reason I sleep with one eye open.”

Jason → Leon
J: "Suspect calls me dramatic but flexes his muscles like he’s in a perfume ad."
L: “Gotta stay sharp.”
J: “Sharp for what, Leon? Modeling auditions?”

Jason → Yasu
J: "Suspect critiques my health choices while chugging energy drinks like they’re water."
Y: “Those are for emergencies.”
J: “You had three during lunch!”

Cecil → Kayla
C: "Suspect told me to ‘chill out’ and then screamed when the killer turned the corner."
K: “I was jump-scaring the killer back!”
C: “Yeah, I’m sure that worked.”

Leon → Yasu
L: "Suspect says he doesn’t do cardio but outran me during tag. Explain."
Y: “Adrenaline.”
L: “Adrenaline or Jason chasing you over chugging 4 monsters in a row?”

Daniel → Kayla
D: "Suspect calls herself a prankster but can’t lie without laughing halfway through."
K: “Okay, but the attempt counts!”
D: “Not when you snort mid-lie, Kayla.”

Kayla → Jason
K: “Suspect calls ME the mom friend, but I just witnessed him chasing a certain ice hockey player down 3 hallways after he kept cheering for Yasu to chug down 5 more energy drinks.”
J: “I'm not gonna defend myself against that.”

Chapter 2: Incorrect Quotes

Notes:

i was supposed to upload this earlier but i got distracted playing daybreak sorry oomfies and non-oomfs

Leon & Kayla: accidentally sets the kitchen on fire
Leon: We need an adult!
Kayla: Leon, you are an adult!
Leon: We need an adultier adult! Get Jason!

—

Yasu fighting Kintoru
Kusonoki in the back of Yasu’s mind: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!
Yasu: The power to believe in myself!?
Kusonoki: No, a blade! Stab it!

—

William: How did you even get in here?
Cecil: Yasu's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Cecil's door"!
Yasu: I’m closing the window.

—

Jason: What do you think Yasu will do for a distraction?
Daniel: He'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
Building explodes and several car alarms go off
Daniel: ...or he could do that.

—

Cecil: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight?
Yasu: raises hand
Jason: puts his hand down

—

Yasu: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!
Yasu: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-
Jason: I did?
Yasu: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today, Jason.
Yasu: walks away
Jason:
Jason: He's gone, Leon.
Leon, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in his mouth: Twankh uh!

—

Kusonoki to Yasu: First rule of battle, little one... don’t ever let them know where you are.
Juno, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!
Kusonoki: 'Course, there’re other schools of thought.

—

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Yasu, with Jason and Leon behind him: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!
Police: Yes…three.
Yasu: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?
Police: Wha-
Yasu: William FUCKING FELL OFF!

—

Kayla: If you really want to get back at a man, scare him with a pregnancy test. I’ve got a whole box of old positives at my house.
Cecil: You’re an American treasure.

—

Jason: Hmm… I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.
Yasu: cracks knuckles Manslaughter it is.

—

Yasu: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

—

Juno, laying in bed: Get out of my room.
Yasu, standing just outside of the door frame: I’m not in your room.

—

William: What do rainbows mean to you?
Kayla: Gay rights.
Cecil: There's money.
Jason: The sign of God's promise to never destroy the whole Earth with a flood.
Daniel: It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops.

—

Yasu: My mom is calling… hi, mom.
Daniel: Come on guys, stop. He's trying to talk to his mom.
Leon: loud fake sexual noises
Cecil: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!
William: is asleep
Jason: gets really close to the phone Tell her I said hi.

—

Yasu: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
William: Several traffic violations.
Kayla: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Leon: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Jason: Also, that’s not our car.

— 

Daniel: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Yasu made me get tested.

—

Jason: We need to distract these guys.
Daniel: Leave it to me.
Daniel: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
William & Cecil: immediately begin arguing 

—

Daniel: Cecil, that’s disgusting. You’re only giving free stuff to beautiful people.
Kayla: Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Cecil: Oh yeah? gets really close to Kayla How about a muffin on the house baby?
Kayla, giggling: I’m pretty.

—

Leon: I think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise.
Yasu: What's the surprise?
William: Blood poisoning.

—

Leon: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.
Yasu: Aren't you forgetting something?
Leon: Uuh... hesitantly kisses Yasu's forehead before running out.
Yasu: No, pay your bill! 

—

The Squad using an Ouija board
Jason: Tell us… Is there a spirit in this house?
Spirit, through the board: YES.
Cecil: Great! Rent is due on the first of the month.
Yasu: Oh, and movie night is on Friday if you want to hang out.
Spirit: WAIT, WHAT—

—

In a horror movie situation
Jason: I've got no service on my phone here.
Yasu: Shoot, my battery just died.
Leon: Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a hammer.
Daniel: Guys, my phone is a book.

—

Daniel: Define “dream”.
Yasu: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works.
Jason: That’s too dark!

—

Jason: shatters a window and climbs through it
Jason: turns around and helps Yasu through it Breaking and entering is wrong, Yasu.
Yasu: Okay.

—

Yasu, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with um, seven espresso shots.
Cecil, in line behind him: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.

—

Yasu: You have an impressive pain tolerance.
Leon: Thanks, it's the trauma.

—

William: Pulls a glass of water from out of nowhere
Jason: Where did you get that?
William: My pocket.
Jason: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?
William: Skills.
—

Yasu: Fight me.
Jason, standing behind him and holding a knife: mouths Do not.

—

Leon: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles?
Daniel: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

—

Jason: So, Yasu, do you have a crush on anyone?
Yasu: The only crush I have is this crushing anxiety.

—

Leon: It’s nice to be wanted, you know?
Jason: Not by the law!

—

Leon: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly, I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic.

—

Daniel: standing on a balcony and sneezes
William: standing on the roof Bless you.
Daniel: God?!

—

Daniel: Why are you two always out during rainstorms?
Jason: It’s so peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of rain.
Leon: Yasu bet me I couldn’t get struck by lighting, but he's WRONG.

—

Kayla: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…
Daniel: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.
Kayla: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said…
Jason: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.

—

Thump noise
Kayla, from the other room: What happened?!
Yasu: Leon’s shirt fell.
Kayla: Why was it loud?
Yasu: It had him inside.

—

the Squad cleaning up
Daniel: Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away.
Leon, to Cecil: Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—

Chapter 3: Incorrect Quotes pt. 2

Cecil: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.
Jason: My favorite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call .
William: It’s called connotations.
Leon: Try this one on for size, “Forgive me, Father, I have sinned” vs “Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty."
Kayla: Great news! Language is now banned!

—

Yasu: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes…
Yasu: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps.
Jason: ...That took an unexpected turn.
Cecil: So did their neck.

—

Jason: Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."

—

Everyone is playing a board game together
Jason: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
Yasu: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Cecil: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.
Daniel: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATIGRAPHIC'.
Kayla: flips the board

—

Kayla: Wanna hear some dark humor.
Jason: Yeah, I love dark humor.
Kayla: Alright.
Kayla: Turns off the lights
Kayla: Knock knock.
Jason: Turn the damn lights back on.

—

Leon: Last night I found out Daniel is a sleep talker.
Cecil: Oh, really?
Leon: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

—

Kayla: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.
Daniel: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back…
Jason: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.
Cecil: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.
William: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.
Yasu: Mental stability, my old friend!
Kayla: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

—

Jason: I hate to say ‘I told you so’—
Cecil: No, you don’t. You would marry 'I told you so’ and have a baby with it and buy adjoining burial plots.
Kayla : Leans back from her chair Chappell Roan?

—

Kayla, to Yasu: When was the last time you let someone hug you?
Yasu: thinking
Yasu: 2019.
Kayla: 2019…?
Yasu: Yeah. I almost died and it really freaked Jason out so I let him hug me.

—

Jason: Still not over how yesterday when my flight landed, our pilot said we arrived 50 minutes early because they took some "shortcuts".
Jason: Excuse me, we were in the sky, what do you mean???

—

Cecil: Name something you believed in as a child that you no longer do as an adult.
Yasu: Myself.

—

Jason: How did you break your leg?
William: Do you see those porch stairs?
Jason: Yes.
William: I didn't

—

Kayla : Yea I only date real men.
Leon : Your cat is a lesbian?

Yasu, to Jason : Hey be careful on the road, there's lots of fog.
Leon : You incinerated a large dog?!

Daniel : Yea, William makes really good ramen.
Leon : You blew up Nicaragua?!!?!?
Daniel : How the fuck did you hear-

—

Jason : Hey, wanna go to the mall with me?
Leon : Huh?
Jason : Wanna go to the mall with me?
Leon : What??
Jason : ...Wanna go to the mall with me?
Leon : Kayla's making giraffes and beans?!
Jason : What the fu-

—

Leon: Is it still visible? Where Cecil slapped me?
Kayla: Your face looks like a don't walk signal.
Daniel: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box.
Jason: A palm reader could tell Cecil's future by looking at your face.
Yasu: The phrase 'talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face.
Leon: ...A simple 'yes' would've sufficed.

—

Cecil: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Jason: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Kayla: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.
Leon: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
William: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Yasu: I have emotional scars.

—

Jason : What are the hardest things to say?
Kayla: I was wrong.
Leon: I need help.
Yasu: Worcestershire sauce.

—

Yasu: sneaking in through his window
Keiko: turning in her chair and flicking the lights on You want to tell me where you've been all night?
Yasu: I was with Jason?
Jason: turning in his chair Wanna try again?

—

Yasu: Self-care is suppressing all your trauma until it comes back and hits you in the face with the force of 7 very large trucks.

—

Cecil: If I ever had a child, I imagine they would be a lot like you.
Leon: Aww, thanks—
Cecil: Which is probably why I’ve never have sex. 

—

Computer: Please enter a password.
Yasu: types in Juno
Computer: Your password is too weak.
Yasu: How fucking DARE YOU—

—

William: All the sudden I got a random burst of energy, and I think it's my body's last hurrah before it completely shuts down.

—

Yasu : What does mood AF mean?
Leon: Like my current mood, like how I feel.
Yasu: Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shi—

—

Leon: Why do you always look pissed off?
Cecil: It's my face's natural reaction to idiots.
Leon : So you hate everyone?
Cecil: No, just you. Everyone else is tolerable.
Leon: Bitc—

—

William: Dawg, remember that time we snuck out?
Yasu: That was crazy… I got so much in trouble for that, I was grounded for a week.
William: Grounded? Bro, I was put in the oven for an hour.
Everyone else:
William: My parents were pissed, dude.
Kayla: They put you... IN THE OVEN?
William : Asian parents, dude. Had it preheated to like 350 degrees.
Vine boom
William : Had me marinating with some garlic.
Vine boom
Jason: Bro what the hell.
Cecil: I'm calling the police right now…
William: Dude, chill. You think that's bad?
Jason: What do you mean thi—
William: Remember when we travelled to Spain without telling our parents?
Leon: Yes?
William: Dude when my parents found out, I got shipped to Asia.
Leon: ...WHAT?
Daniel: Like... How?
William: They put me in a box. Taped it up, and sent me to my uncle in Japan. I was there for 3 weeks.
Vine boom
Yasu: Oh my god…
Daniel: This is messed up!
William : Dude stop being so dramatic. They just did what they had to do!
Vine boom
Yasu: Dude, YOU GOT PUT IN THE OVEN. AND SHIPPED TO ASIA.
William: So you're telling me.. You've never been shipped somewhere as punishment?
Everyone else: No?!
William: What about the time you failed your class?
Yasu: My mom just yelled at me…
William: Lucky you. Dude, when I got an F in english. They put a funnel in my throat, and forced me to eat a dictionary.
Vine boom
Leon: What the f—
William : Guys relax, I was just a badass kid. But none of that compares... to what they did to me last year.
Cecil: What happened?
William: I was caught smoking at school. So my mom shaved my hair.
William : With a cheese grater.
Intense sound effect
Leon : DUDE THAT'S NOT NORMAL.
Yasu : ..Did it hurt?
William : Like a mf.
Kayla: Your mom is a monster.
William: A monster? My mom is the sweetest person alive.
Everyone else : GET O—