I don't understand (but I want to)

by Tanis_Zed

Summary:

There is a mechanical girl, who others call Orianna, though she isn't as sure if the name applies to her. Whoever she is, she manages to find a kindred spirit while walking with her father, a well traveled woman who used to be named Powder, and was once called Jinx, but isn't either anymore. Maybe together they can learn their names.

Notes:

Bit of a crackship I will admit, but I'm having fun with it!

Chapter 1

The young woman didn’t understand her name. She knew that the figure in the mirror was her, she recognized that the blonde hair, grey metallic skin, and faintly glowing blue eyes belonged to her. But the name “Orianna”, that was new to her. She did not see why it applied to her. 

 

The man who called himself “father” had said the name belonged to her, but she hadn’t yet puzzled out why. There were many things in the room where she awoke that belonged to “Orianna”, but she did not remember them, or the father who presented them to her. She tried, of course, she tried very hard to remember the music, and the dancing, and the stories her father had read to her while she was not yet alive. But she remembered nothing. 

 

“Are you alright, my dear? You’ve been staring for a while.” Her father asked, laboriously sitting down next to her. She didn’t understand why his body struggled so to move, but she had other questions that she wanted answered more. 

 

“I was wondering why I am called Orianna.” She said. 

 

“Ah.” Her father’s voice grew warm, and she was certain he would be smiling, if he yet had lips. “Your mother, spirits rest her soul, was very close with her grandmother. She insisted you be named Orianna, and what kind of husband would I be if I denied her?” Her father chuckled. 

 

“I don’t know some of those words.” The metal girl said. 

 

“Which ones, dear?” 

 

“Mother, and grandmother, and husband.”

 

Father’s eyes grew very sad. They often did, when he spoke with her. The metal girl didn’t like making her father sad, but she liked not knowing less. “Your mother is the woman who gave birth to you.” Father explained, and her eyes flicked to the glass coffin from which she had been born. Father’s gaze followed hers. “Ah, I see. No, that tank is not your mother. It is a tool I used to cure you. Your mother was a woman, one who looked… much like you.” 

 

A mother is the one who gives birth, but the coffin which birthed her was not her mother? “I don’t understand. Why is the coffin not my mother?”

 

“Because…” Her father mused for a moment, seeking words that she would understand. “A mother is a person, and the tank is not. Your mother was a woman who gave birth to you, before you fell ill, the tank merely preserved you, until I discovered the cure to your ailment.”

 

A mother must be a person. “I understand. And what is a grandmother?”

 

“Your mother’s mother is your grandmother.” Father explained. “Your mother’s grandmother is your great grandmother, and so on and so forth.”

 

“So I am called Orianna because the woman who gave birth to me was close to my great grandmother.” The metal girl nodded. “Yes, I understand.”

 

“Yes, good!” Her father smiled as best he could. “You were always such a quick learner, Orianna.”

 

“And the last word I didn’t know?” The metal girl prompted. 

 

“Hmm? Oh yes, husband.” He paused to gather his words. “When two people combine their families, this is called marriage. When they become married, one of them is the husband, and the other is the wife. I was married to your mother, so she was my wife, and I her husband.”

 

“Combine… like your experiments?” She asked. 

 

“No, no!” Her father laughed. “It’s merely a change in legal status. And emotional connection, I suppose, but that can occur with or without marriage.”

 

“I understand.” 

 

“Excellent.” Father nodded. “Don’t worry, my dear,” he said, putting a cold hand on her metal shoulder, “even if you don’t remember, I will teach you. You will be yourself again soon, I promise.” 

 

The young woman looked around the room filled with things that belonged to Orianna. “I don’t understand.”

 

“You will, dear, you will.” Father assured her. 

The metal girl watched her father cut open another squirming creature to extract the chemicals and reagents housed in its organs. It writhed and screamed as the scalpel moved through it. Her father noticed her staring. “Unpleasant, isn’t it?” He asked. 

 

“I don’t understand why it screams.” She said. 

 

“Pain, mostly. Fear as well, I presume.” Her father poured the ichorous fluids into an alembic for distillation. 

 

The metal girl understood fear, it was what she felt when the black armored men came to collect her father’s creations, but… “I don’t understand pain.”

 

“Pain is the body’s method of informing the brain of damage.” Father explained matter of factly, “The brain does not want the body to be damaged, so it assigns negative responses to pain; fear, anger, revulsion. It’s nothing special, really.”

 

“Do I feel pain?” The metal girl asked. 

 

Her father’s hands paused over his work. “Hmm. I’m not sure. You feel other things, correct?”

 

“Yes. My dresses feel soft, and my bed feels warm when I cover myself in blankets. Your hands feel cold and rough when you touch me, and the air is almost always quite cold.” She said. 

 

“Cold?” Her father cleaned his hands and reached for a leather bound notebook, the only one of his books he forbade the metal girl from reading. “Hmm, Viktor’s mechanical conversions never had a heat problem, but the beast was quite hot to the touch… Come here, Orianna.”

 

The young woman did as she was bid, approaching her father’s workspace. Her father took many measurements of her body, checking her internal and external temperatures, measuring the size of the various flexible metal plates that made up her skin, even opening up her chest to check the condition of the hextech gemstone that powered her body. “Is something wrong?” The metal girl asked as her father wrote in the notebook. She paused in putting her dress back on to try to catch a peek of his notes. 

 

“No, no, not wrong, per se. Merely unexpected.” Her father muttered. “The metalized skin is approaching the texture of human flesh, but how? Does it have something to do with… or maybe… hmm. Well.” He shut the notebook and smiled at her. “Your temperature is quite high, but that doesn’t seem to be an issue at present. We will have to take your temperature at regular intervals, to insure it’s not increasing, but for now it seems harmless.”

 

“I am glad.” The metal girl nodded. “And my question?”

 

“Hmm? Which one?” Her father asked. 

 

“Do I feel pain?” She asked. 

 

“Ah.” Her father said. “I suppose you might be capable of it, given your capacity to feel other things.”

 

“There is a simple experiment to run to determine the answer.” She reached for a scalpel from her father’s workstation. Her father’s hand shot out to stop her. “Father?”

 

“That won’t be necessary.” Her father said. “I am content to leave this question open.”

 

“I want to know.” She countered. 

 

“I don’t want to see you in pain, Orianna.” Her father said sadly. 

 

The young woman cast her gaze over the vivisected creatures that fueled her father’s work. 

 

“That’s different.” Her father told her. 

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“You are my daughter, Orianna. I love you.” Her father said. “These creatures are nothing to me, but you are everything.”

 

That was another word the metal girl didn’t understand. Love. But whenever she mentioned that to her father he became extremely sad, so she did not mention it. “I understand.” She lied. 

“Keep your hood up while we’re in Piltover, Orianna.” Father instructed. 

 

“Yes, father.” The young woman pulled her hood tighter around her metal skin. “The mask is uncomfortable.”

 

“It’s necessary.” Her father said. “… uncomfortable how?”

 

“It is too tight on my nose, and rubs unpleasantly against my cheeks when I speak.” A realization struck the metal girl. “It is… painful. Yes, that’s the correct word!” Having one of her long standing unanswered questions reach a conclusion filled her with a pleasant warmth that she did not have a word for. 

 

“Hmm. I will redesign it when we return home. For now, please endure it.” Her father told her. “I assume it is a minor pain?”

 

“I don’t know. I don’t have other pains to compare it to.” She pondered for a moment. “It is unpleasant, but not in a way that compels anger, or fear, or revulsion. It is… annoying.”

 

“I see.” Her father nodded. 

 

The meeting on the docks was uninteresting to the young woman, all hushed whispers and veiled threats. The motion of the airships was far more interesting to her. She had read that until just before she became alive the airships had navigated the world with massive machines utilizing power sources similar to her own, but those devices had since been decommissioned. 

 

The annoyance of the mask was starting to make the metal girl angry, so while her father argued with the councilor with the blue scars, she ducked into a nearby alley. Looking around to make sure she was unobserved, she pulled down her hood and removed the annoying mask. 

 

The air was pleasantly cool on the metal of her skin, and getting the mask off was a relief. As she was luxuriating in the feeling of the river spray on her face, a voice startled the young woman. “Woah. Interesting look you’ve got going there.” 

 

The metal girl’s gaze snapped to the new person. Another young woman was observing her. The newcomer was… difficult for the metal girl to categorize, her boots looked Ionian, her trousers Noxian, her jacket Demacian, her shirt Shuriman. A well traveled young woman then. Her hair was oil black, but had a hint of lighter color at the roots, and her eyes… her eyes were fascinating, mildly luminous, like the metal girl’s own, but pink instead of blue. A side effect of one of the active ingredients in the formula called ‘shimmer’, the metal girl recalled. 

 

A world traveler who was a habitual enough user of shimmer to have permanent physiological effects? She had to know, “Who are you?”

 

The traveler shrugged, “I’m between names.”

 

Ah! “Yes! I understand completely.”

 

The traveler looked at the metal girl oddly. “Uh huh. And, you are?”

 

“I don’t know yet.” She answered honestly. “But I’m working on it.”

 

The traveler chuckled once, “Well, nice to meet you, don’t know yet.”

 

The metal girl smiled, “And you as well, between names.” The traveler turned to leave, but the metal girl felt compelled to speak again, “A moment, please.” The traveler paused in her step. “I have met no one who understands what it is to not know their name. Could we meet again?”

 

The traveler considered her request. “I… should check in with a few old friends first, but maybe.” She looked around. “Might be hard for me to visit Piltover though.”

“My home is in Zaun.” The metal girl said. “If that is not a problem.”

 

Glowing pink eyes bored into luminous blue. “Sure, why not?” She shrugged. 

Chapter 2

Summary:

It’s been a while since the traveler was in town, and while she’s here, she figures she might as well check up on some old friends.

Powder, or maybe Jinx, but probably neither, strolled through the Lanes for the first time in two years. She’d forgotten how humid it got down here, Noxus had been chilly, Demacia straight up cold, and Shurima was a dry heat, but Zaun? Humid as all fuck. 

 

She had worried she’d be recognized at the docks, or the bridge, or somewhere, but nobody gave her a second glance. It probably helped that all her old wanted posters had her with long blue hair, but she’d kept it trimmed, and taken a page out of her big sis’s book and dyed it black. 

 

Vi… last she’d heard, Vi had finally tied the knot with her enforcer girl, which, good for them! She was happy her sister was happy. But she worried that there wasn’t room in Vi’s life for her anymore…. But that was a question for later. For now, she had an old friend to meet. 

 

The firelights had rebuilt the Last Drop. She would have preferred it stay burned, the way she left it, but not everyone wants to let the past burn, she supposed. Hopefully, she could find who she was looking for there. The new Last Drop was set up pretty much like it had been before Silco redecorated the place, all warm lights and hard wood. The plants were new, and everywhere. And Chuck was chatting with customers at the bar. The girl without a name slid up to a barstool, but said nothing, just watching. 

 

“Hey there.” The bartender smiled. “Don’t recognize you, are you new in town?”

 

She smiled. It was better that not even Chuck recognized her. “Nah, just been traveling for a while.” She shrugged. “Say, I’m looking for someone. An old friend. Know where a girl might find a man by the name of Ekko?”

 

“An old friend of Ekko’s?” Chuck mused. “Didn’t know he had any left. Well, if he’s not at the academy, you can usually find him in the greenhouse.”

 

“Wait, the academy?” She asked. “As in, the Piltover Academy of Science?”

 

“Yeah, he teaches there.” Chuck said proudly. “Head of Hextech Research and Safety! It was a big moment for us fissure folk when the Council appointed him.”

 

“Damn, good for him!” The well traveled woman who hadn’t decided on a name grinned. “Where can I find the greenhouse?”

 

“Deeper in, not far from the sump, you can’t miss it.” The bartender said. “Can I tempt you into a drink, for the road?”

 

“No, but thanks anyway, Chuck.” She strolled out of the new old bar.

 

“Um, my name is Thieram.” The bartender called after her. “Wait… no, it couldn’t have been…”

 

 

 

The woman without a name remembered the last time she’d been to the sump. A metal fortune cookie and his little cult had occupied it back then. And she’d had Vander and Isha with her… Isha… Even years later, that one still stung. The nameless woman set that feeling aside for now, she was here for a reason.

 

Chuck had been right, the greenhouse was hard to miss. Most of the space of the old commune was now covered by massive glass walls, filled to the brim with plants. Massive fans and ductworks pulled air from the fissures into the greenhouse, and even more fans pumped air out and all around the undercity. Was it… generating fresh air? That was… so fucking cool! Powder excitedly inspected one of the fans pumping air in from the fissures. Looked like there was a filtration system catching the Grey before it got into the greenhouse, but letting the rest of the toxic air in. Disposal of the Grey would be an issue… and she saw canisters of the gunk sitting to the side, loaded onto palates. Where were those going?  No! Focus! 

 

The traveler tore herself away from the mechanical accomplishment of the vents, and made her way inside the greenhouse. It was even hotter and more humid inside! Dammit, this was sweaty! Ugh, whatever. The plants were all rooted far below the metal catwalks the nameless traveler found herself on, and she spotted the sheen of toxic gasses in the air pumped into the lower reaches, but up here the air felt clean and clear, with fans above her sucking the fresh air out. A natural filtration system, purifying the air at scale! Now that was a fucking genius idea!

 

Near the center of the greenhouse the largest plant stood, a massive tree, around which a small amphitheater had been set into the walkways. A familiar young man with white hair pulled back into a bun was there, teaching young kids both Zaunite and Piltovan how to paint. He glanced up as she approached, and froze. 

 

The nameless girl didn’t know what to say, not with so many damn brats around, and Ekko didn’t look like he knew what to do either. So they just stared at each other, soundless, until one of the little ankle biters tugged on his coat and asked him what was wrong. Ekko smiled, and continued the lesson, and the traveler took a seat at the edge of the amphitheater .

 

When the art lesson was over, and the last of the rug rats had been collected, Ekko approached the nameless girl. “Jinx.” He said, quietly, almost like a prayer. 

 

“Not exactly.” She replied. 

 

“Powder then.” He smiled. 

 

“Not that either.”

 

“Then who?”

 

“I don’t know yet.”

 

Ekko sat down next to her, close, but not too close, like he wanted to touch her but was afraid if he did he’d pass straight though her like a mirage. “We thought you died. I thought you died.”

 

“I got lucky.” She shrugged. 

 

“You could have told me!” Ekko huffed. “The whole city mourned you! I…” He sighed heavily. 

 

“I… I had to walk away.” The traveler said. “I had to break the cycle. And the cycle wouldn’t have ended if Jinx was still in Zaun.”

 

“I see.” Ekko said. “And what about Powder?”

 

“She died.” The nameless girl answered. “She died when Vander got hit with a hextech explosion.” She took a deep breath, and put on a facade of manic energy, “But that was years ago! Things have changed! Like you! Head of hextech, that’s huge!” She elbowed Ekko teasingly. 

 

“Yeah. Caitlyn pushed pretty hard for it, Sevika too.” He chuckled. 

 

“Wait, Sevika’s still around?”

 

“Yeah, she was the first Zaunite councilor. We’ve got two now, Scar was appointed to the council not long after I got the academy position.” Ekko looked up at the massive tree. “We’ve all been working our asses off to make something out of this opportunity, and most of Piltover has been going along with it.” He took a deep breath of the fresh air the greenhouse produced. “But enough about me! What have you been up to? You look good!” He took in her mismatched outfit, “Great, even. I like the hair!”

 

“Oh, you know, traveling.” She shrugged. “Took a look around the Immortal Bastion of Noxus, met a blonde weirdo in Demacia, toured some ancient ruins with an archeologist from Piltover, tried to reach ‘inner peace’ in Ionia, but it turned into a war zone.” She giggled. “Then… I saw a flight headed back here, and the ticket was cheap so… here I am.”

 

“So… are you, you know, back?” Ekko asked, “Or just passing through?”

 

“I’ve got a few more people to meet before I can skip town again,” The traveler said, “and I might’ve made a new friend here in Zaun, so I think I’ll be sticking around for a while.”

 

“Already?” Ekko chuckled. “You have changed. The Jinx I knew couldn't make friends to save her life.”

 

“Yeah well, I’m not Jinx, am I?” She scoffed. 

 

“Yeah, I guess not.” Ekko sighed. A red light flickered on an indicator board far off. “Ah, gimme a sec, I gotta take care of that.”

 

“Is it something with those crazy filters?” The girl asked. “How are you managing to safely dispose of the condensed Grey?”

 

“We uhh, hand it off.” Ekko said. “Don’t know what actually happens to it, but I’m told it’s definitely out of the city.”

 

“Huh. Alright.” 

 

“Here, come give me a hand.” Ekko offered the nameless traveler a hand up… and she took it. 

 

The two of them grabbed a set of gas masks and heavy duty gloves, and changed out the filter, carefully scraping the toxic gunk into a waiting canister that was then sealed and set aside, before replacing the cleaned filter. “So who takes this crap?” She asked after they hosed off their protective equipment and got everything put away. 

 

“Hello.” A familiarly artificial voice called. “Am I interrupting?” The almost musical voice lilted. 

 

The traveler looked at the robot girl she had met at the docks the previous day stepping off an empty cargo van. The little white sundress looked cute on her, though the metallic grey skin was a little disconcerting. “Hey there!”

 

“Ah! Miss traveler!” The robot girl smiled sweetly. “How nice to see you again.” Her glowing eyes flicked to Ekko, “Do you know my father’s business partner?”

 

“Hey, Orianna.” Ekko said. “Is this your new friend, Jinx?”

 

“Orianna, huh?” The traveler asked.

 

“Not quite.” The mechanical girl said. “Jinx, is it?”

 

“Not exactly.” The nameless girl shrugged. To Ekko, “I ran into this gal just after I got off the airship. She seemed nice!”

 

“Nice… yeah, that’s… definitely a word for it.” Ekko said.

 

“Huh?” The nameless girl looked at Ekko, “What does that mean?”

 

“My father’s work makes most people uncomfortable.” Her new friend answered. “I understand this reaction, but I don’t understand why I am associated with it. I do not participate in the alchemy.”

 

“... You’re also creepy as shit.” The traveler said. 

 

“Powder.” Ekko admonished in a whisper. 

 

The mechanical girl tilted her head quizzically, her expression remaining precisely the same. “Creepy? I don’t understand.”

 

“You’ve got that whole robot doll thing going on, which you kinda rock, but it’s creepy as all hell.” The nameless woman repeated. 

 

“Doll?” Her new friend asked. “Do I seem artificial?”

 

“Yes.” The traveler answered. 

 

“Very much, yeah.” Ekko added. 

 

“Hmm…” The cute/creepy doll pondered for a moment. “So, my artificiality makes me… creepy. I understand.” She sighed quietly. “I would like to be less creepy, but I cannot change my nature.”

 

“If it helps, you’re also pretty cute.” The nameless girl offered. “Right, Ekko?”

 

“She’s… not my type.” Ekko cleared his throat. “Anyway, why are you here, Orianna?”

 

“My father sent me.” She said. “He wished me to inform you that we will need you to accelerate your collection of the Grey, as his work requires more than is currently in production.”

 

“The greenhouse is already at max capacity.” Ekko said. “Pumping more air through it would overwhelm the plants! They’d die.”

 

“We are aware.” The mechanical girl said. “Sevika has approved an expansion to the greenhouse. Piltovan builders will be along within the week. For now, I require whatever Grey you have currently stored.” She clapped sharply, and two workers in full hazmat gear stepped out of the van. The mechanical girl followed along, supervising their loading of the collected toxic waste. 

 

“So… who’s this ‘business partner’ of yours, boy savior?” The traveler asked. 

 

“He’s… an alchemist.” Ekko said. “I don’t know much about him, Sevika hooked me up with him after I started the greenhouse. I don’t know what he’s doing with the Grey I give him, and that’s the truth.”

 

“Huh. Alright.” The nameless girl shrugged. After the hazmat workers had finished loading the van, Jinx sidled up to the robot gal. “So, dollface.”

 

“Do you mean me?” Dollface asked. 

 

“Yep. Wanna get lunch?” The traveler asked. “The next person I need to meet is topside, but I’ve had pretty much all the old friends I can stomach for today.”

 

“I don’t understand.” The mechanical girl said. “Are friends not pleasant to be with?”

 

“Not always. Not when there’s… history.” The woman who’d given up both her names sighed. 

 

“...you’re sad.” The robot girl observed. “I don’t understand. I don’t think I can understand. I don’t have memories, pleasant or otherwise.”

 

Huh. “That might be a blessing in disguise, dollface.” The traveler chuckled humorlessly. “Anyway, lunch?”

 

“I am capable of eating.” The cute doll smiled. “I don’t need to, but I am capable of it.”

 

“... do you mean you’re not hungry, or that you physically don’t need food to survive?” 

 

“I don’t need food.” Her smile became somewhat strained. “Which I am glad for. My father’s cooking is not good.”

 

“...Girl, what are you?” 

 

“I don’t know yet.” The mechanical girl said. “But I’m working on it.”

 

“...okay. Soo, lunch?”

 

“Sure, why not?”

Notes:

Ekko, the man that you are. He deserved better than the big fat nothing he got in the finale.

As ever, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!

Notes:

I have no idea how long this fic will be, or where it's going, I'm just enjoying the journey.

As ever, comments and kudos lift my soul!