Chapter Text
Edward Teach had grown up in the city, lived in the city, fucking spent every damn year of his life in a crowded city. He’d gone from a shitty tiny apartment shared between him and Jack a luxury apartment in a fancy ass building, sure. He was still crammed in with too many people and as he got older, the more he itched for something different. He had been tired as hell living pressed in the city, the same buildings, same smells, same everything, so he’d left. It was his fucking midlife crisis, or at least that’s what Izzy had told him when he’d fucked off to suburbia.
He could have gotten a house, like a real fucking house, with a big ass lawn and the whole picketed fence, but Ed had never had the patience to deal with his own gardening. His hours were weird and he doubted anyone would enjoy him firing up a lawnmower at five in the morning because that was probably the time of night he’d want to do it. So, he got a townhouse in a little corner of the suburbs. The place was so shiny and new that even a month after moving in it still smelled faintly of paint, but it was his. It was something different, somewhere that he could go out for a walk at three in the morning and just be in his own head if he wanted.
No people jammed on the sidewalk while I walk or trying to talk to me. Just me and the sky.
He hadn’t really met any of his neighbors properly. So far, all he’d gotten had been odd looks and cordial nods. He supposed he wasn’t what people expected in a neighbor like this one. He didn’t have a wife or husband, no kids on the way, no kids to visit. It was just him, the neat townhouse, and occasionally Jack bumbling back into his life for a few days because he needed somewhere to crash. Ed with his leather and motorcycle, his tattoos and odd hours, definitely wasn’t getting invites to barbeques.
Not that I’m awake during the day for them. He dismissed while glancing out his front window at the quiet street. Kinda nice there’s no cars or shit at night out here.
Ed found himself staring at his computer models with irritation and adjusted his calculations when the simulations got fucked. The adjustments to the streamlined design for the latest rocket model were fucked and they shouldn’t be. He’d need to go into the testing area soon, there was only so much a computer model could show him before he needed to run things in real time. Not that he could bitch. It wasn’t like everyone got a chance to play with a hypersonic wind tunnel that could hit Mach 10 just because he was figuring out some propulsion issues.
Another late night. He mused, already planning on being up to see the sun rise. Again.
Not that being awake until dawn was new. He could do the nine to five deal, but he’d never been great at it. His best ideas happened when everyone was asleep and the world went quiet. It was also part of the reason that his last two attempts at a relationship, aside from fucking Jack, had never gone past a few dates. When he’d been in his twenties it’d been easy to find people that were night owls, now, it was nearly impossible. No one wanted to wake up to their boyfriend gone from bed night after night. At least, that was what the last guy had said.
Dating isn’t really for me, anyway. I’m not that sort of person. He mused as he leaned back from the computer and popped the lid off the fancy soda he’d picked up from the market.
That was another plus living in the suburbs. They had the fanciest stores and he was starting to become a little obsessed trying all the various snacks and drinks. The current one was a soda called ‘hot honey’ and was just the right mix of sweet and spice. The burn was pleasant on his tongue as he watched the readings come back, the adjustments brightening his mood immediately.
“Fuck yeah.” He lifted his bottle up in silent toast. He’d need to make sure to have Izzy book the wind tunnel for him for a more practical simulation, but at least he figured out the issue.
He was in the process of sending off the specs for Fang and Ivan to put together in the lab when someone began to knock lightly on his door. His eyes darted to the clock, two in the fucking morning. Who the fuck was at his door at two in the morning?
“The hell?” He muttered and pushed himself up from his chair. He didn’t think any of his neighbors ever saw this side of midnight unless they were getting up in the early morning.
He glanced at his speakers, the music was playing softly, no way in fuck someone was going to come to complain about the noise. If they could hear it they would have to be pressed with their ear against his door or window. He sighed as he heard the door again and snagged his soda. Maybe it was Jack, though his on-again off-again fuck buddy tended to pound on the door like he was going to break it down. If he thought knocking lightly was going to sooth Ed’s temper after the latest fight he was dead fuckin’ wrong.
“Yes, order for Bonnet.” The soft edged words greeted him the moment he opened the door and a smiling blonde man peered at him through blonde lashes.
The stranger on his porch was dressed in a set of silk pajamas and had ruffled hair that fell into his eyes as he stared at Ed, but not really at Ed. His eyes were unfocused as if he weren’t really seeing anyone in front of him. His smile never waivered as he stood there expectantly and Ed looked around, half ready to see someone playing some weird fucking prank. He knew it was the guy that lived across from him, he’d seen the cute blonde a handful of times, but then he had been all buttoned up in a suit. Now, he was rumpled and sleepy looking, and asking for an order?
"Uhh, no one named Bonnet here, mate.” He offered and there was a slow blink in response, but the smile never faltered. So weird.
“Shake and fries, for Stede Bonnet.” He answered expectantly, tipping his head to one side. “Can I have extra ketchup? Please.”
Oh good, the crazy man on Ed’s front porch was both hot and polite.
“O-kay.” Ed glanced around, not sure what the fuck was going on, but the guy just kept smiling at him patiently in salmon colored PJ’s that had a monogrammed SB at the pocket. “Uh, you alright, man?”
“Because of Tuesday.” Stede(?) chirped conspiratorially and reached out to take the soda bottle from Ed’s hand before he could register what was happening. “Keep the change!”
Ed stared down at his empty hand as Stede turned around and shuffled off his porch with a soft mutter. Ed wasn’t sure what the hell was happening, but he stepped out onto his porch to watch Stede walking down the sidewalk with his stolen soda. There was no one else out, because who the fuck would be out at two in the morning? No, there was just Ed and a maniac that had stolen his soda gleefully escaping with his ill-gotten gains. Fuck, he couldn’t just let the guy go off like that. What if he got hurt?
I’ve heard about people in suburbia going off the deep end. He doesn’t seem drunk or anything.
“Mate, c’mon, you okay?” Ed called out instinctively as Stede stopped and giggled to himself before reaching down to pick up a little stupid gnome that Fang had given him as a housewarming gift.
“A cat!” Stede announced to the gnome that he cradled in one arm like a baby before continuing on his merry way.
Ed was pretty sure that this was the shit you were supposed to call someone for, but he had no idea who to call. He sure as fuck wasn’t calling the cops because his neighbor stole his soda and a lawn gnome. Instead, he followed along as Stede crossed the street between their houses and got halfway up his own drive before bumping into a bush. There was a little yelp and then jolt as the man jumped back. Just as Ed began to speed up he watched Stede shake his head a few times and smooth his hair back, looking around as if he were confused.
“Fuck, shit, not again.” He heard the soft curse as Stede shifted the gnome in his arm and stared down at it. “Oh bugger…”
Not again? Ed blinked as the man suddenly seemed more alert or, more precisely, awake. Oh fuck, he was sleepwalking?
It wasn’t like Ed had any experience with sleepwalkers, well, besides fucking cartoons and shit, but apparently that had all changed. Stede (Ed was gonna assume that was the guy’s name) looked around around holding the gnome in one hand and the soda in the other. The neighborly thing would have been to go up and see that he was alright, right? Just walk on up, introduce himself, maybe see if Stede needed any help? Or would that just embarrass him? Ed was prepared to deal with propulsion systems, not cute sleepwalking DILFs on a random Tuesday.
Ed bit the inside of his lip and stepped away as quietly as he could. He was still new to the neighborhood, Stede didn’t know him, he would probably be mortified to know he’d knocked on Ed’s door. He made a split-second decision and ghosted back across the street before he could be spotted. He doubted embarrassing your neighbor was a good way to go about making friends and Stede hadn’t caused any harm. If anything, the interruption had been a bright spot in his, otherwise, tedious night.
He watched Stede go back to his house and gave his head a shake, smiling as he settled back on the computer to Izzy already messaging him a list of demands on the new alterations. The brief respite was replaced with the normal frustrations of his work. It had been fun while it lasted. Well, maybe not fun, but fascinating.
~ ~ * ~ ~
It was nearly a week before he saw Stede sleepwalk again. Ed had seen him before that, but it had been the same as before, a little nod across the way without any recognition from the blonde. He did learn that the guy’s name really was Stede, with a D, and had only lived in his place for about six months since divorcing his wife. Ed tried not to dwell too much on the wife part, because the guy was cute and there was no harm in appreciating a cute blonde that stole his soda and lawn gnome.
There was no knock on the door for the second sleepwalking episode, instead, Ed’s work was interrupted from his work with the sound of water coming from across the street. He looked up just in time to see Stede standing in his front lawn in another pair of pajamas with a hose in one hand spraying his garage door beneath the streetlights. Ed watched for a bit, unable to help his amusement as Stede seemed to be doing some wild patterns with the water. Doing what? Washing an imaginary car? Drawing?
Can’t hurt just to make sure the guy doesn’t knock on the wrong door if he’s wandering. Ed mused before pausing his work and slipping on his shoes.
In the past week he’d done a bit of research about sleepwalking. Who wouldn’t when you’ve been disturbed by a maniac demanding a shake and fries at two in the morning? So far he’d found some good advice on it, mostly it was a bad idea to try and wake someone up who was in the middle of an episode since they could become confused. Most of it was advice about carefully guiding the person back to bed, which, let’s face it, Ed was not going to walk that man to his bedroom. But he could make sure Stede didn’t do something dangerous like walk into traffic.
The air was chilly as Ed jogged across the street just as Stede set down the hose with exaggerated care and giggled. It was an honest to god giggle, sweet and soft, before the cute blond shuffled his way around the garage like he was studying something. Ed bit his lip, unable to help enjoying the view as Stede bent to pick up a rock before putting it in his pocket. Okay, fine, the guy was really attractive and Ed was only human. And wasn’t just the whole hotness thing, the guy was also almost painfully adorable.
Ed came up close enough to see that tonight’s PJ’s weren’t monogramed silk, but a comfy looking flannel set that looked soft to the touch. It was patterned with Loch Ness monsters, with one large one at the front pocket and they were paired with a set of slippers with curved Nessie heads bobbing about with each step. It was god damn endearing and Ed was kinda into it.
“Oh, hello the moon!” Stede exclaimed as he paused in his weird shuffle step. “Do you have the necklace?”
“Nah, mate, no necklace.” He answered smoothly, softly, hoping it wouldn’t wake Stede up. Most of the shit he’d read said that Stede wouldn’t wake up that easy, but it was best to be careful.
“Hmm, gravity is wrong.” Stede observed with a frown, but it soon changed to a smile.
“That a fact?” Ed asked, but Stede was already back to looking around his driveway.
There didn’t seem to be any pressing business that Stede was after, he wandered around his driveway for a little and then seemed to decide that he needed to go on an adventure. One moment he was studying a bush and then he began to head down the sidewalk, leaving Ed to rush to catch up to him. He placed himself on the outside of the sidewalk to be sure Stede didn’t stumble down the curb. The slight bump of Stede’s arm brushed his sleeve as he tried to turn and Ed found it was pretty easy to coax him to remain on the sidewalk.
It's not a bad night for a walk. He mused as Stede hummed tunelessly to himself, seemingly happy as a clam.
Ed couldn’t remember the last time he took a late-night walk with anyone. The closest were the times Jack had stormed after him when Ed had left after an argument and Jack couldn’t be bothered to let it go. Walking with Stede was far more enjoyable as they made their way along with Ed grinning at the bobbing Nessie slippers. What sort of maniac had Lock Ness monster PJs?
“Like your slippers, they’re cute.” Ed offered as Stede stopped to begin pulling up a few late flowers from someone’s yard.
“Lavender, s’very important, keeps the bats away.” Stede informed him and stuffed the lavender in his pocket. “Or the Jersey Devil.”
“Yeah?” Ed chuckled softly. “Good to know.”
Stede continued to be enjoyable company on the meandering stroll. Sure, the guy was asleep, so it wasn’t stimulating conversation, but Ed found himself just enjoying it. There was no pattern to what Stede said, no goal beyond shuffling along and occasionally pausing to take a flower to stuff into his pocket. Ed began to wonder if Stede loved flowers when he was awake or if the flower theft was some strange subconscious desire for them. Ed hoped he loved flowers even while awake, it’d be a pity if he denied himself. Especially when he made such pleased noises whenever he found a new one.
“Yanno, you’re still better company than Jack is. Don’t know why I put up with him. Maybe it’s just better than being alone.” Ed mused as Stede realized his pocket was full and stuffed a pair of mums into his front pocket. “Think I’m alone too much.”
Ed didn’t know why he made the soft confession. It wasn’t like Stede would remember or even offer up a rational response. Jack had been on his mind more recently, especially since he moved. There had been a brief fight about the fact Ed wasn’t willing to stay in his old apartment and Jack had accused him of sabotage since Ed knew Jack couldn’t handle the rent alone. It hadn’t been that. Ed had just needed a change. That’s how he’d found himself in a holding pattern where they met up, had a fight, fucked, and then parted ways again.
It was just another piece of Ed’s past that he’d held onto for so long that it felt like a risk to be done with it. Sometimes he wondered what it’d be like to just be Ed for a while. Not ‘Eddie’ the guy who grew up with Jack, who drank and fucked and ran wild. Not ‘Teach’ buried in the lab working on the massive rockets that were the next big thing. Not ‘Blackbeard’, the moniker he’d applied to the first fuckin’ rocket to manage to land on an asteroid to bring back samples. Just Ed. Might be nice. Stede certainly didn’t care who he was. Ed was likely just a piece of his dream for the evening.
And who do you have if you finally end it with Jack? He sighed and didn’t have an answer to that, he never did. Which was why they’ve been fucking and fighting for more than twenty years.
“Dunno why I bother fighting, s’not like I’m gonna leave him. Whatever it is we are.” He confessed softly while Stede blinked owlishly at him. “Ever have that, Bonnet? Someone you know isn’t good for you, but you just keep holdin’ on?”
“Not during the sunshine.” Stede observed and nodded as if it were a piece of wisdom. “D’you wanna know a secret?”
“Yeah? What’s that?” Ed smiled as Stede gave a little bounce wiggle that had no right being as cute as it was. His soft curls fell into his eyes while he peered up at the sky.
“Sometimes I can fly, but not often, just sometimes.” He sighed softly as if he was currently unable to fly. “I miss it.”
“Wish I could fly, mate, I understand shit that flies.” Ed scuffed a shoe lightly. “Flyin’ stuff makes sense. This? Not so much.”
No, relationships have never made sense to him. No matter how often he tried to puzzle them out. Jack was even more complicated, because sometimes he felt like that’s all he deserved. It wasn’t like he didn’t have fun, but fuck he needed a friend. Just someone to listen and maybe support him. Instead, he was smiling at a man who only saw him as a hazy dream, and it was more than he’d had in a long time.
“C’mon, mate, we should get you home.” He murmured softly and gently nudged Stede’s shoulder.
Stede was pliant and obedient as they turned towards his home, yawning hugely and blinking his eyes a few times. Did Stede have someone in his life? Was his girlfriend or boyfriend unaware that he roamed at night? He hadn’t seen anyone matching that description, but it wasn’t like he was stalking the guy. He hoped Stede had someone that cared about him. Someone that smiled at his Loch Ness jimjams, perhaps.
Ed walked him all the way to the front porch where Stede ponderously took off his slippers. He looked around with a frown and then carefully scooted them between two flowerpots as if it was important they were hidden away. Ed bit his lip against a giggle before Stede stared up at him again. Ed’s giggle softened into a fond smile.
“Good night, moon.” Stede said as seriously as if he were bidding the queen goodbye and turned to his house.
“Good night, Stede.” Ed murmured to Stede’s retreating back, watching the man shuffle into the house with a jaw cracking yawn. “Sweet dreams.”
He moved back down to the public sidewalk and waited to see Stede go inside. He could admit to being a little disappointed their walk was over so soon, but he turned around to his own house smiling. Somehow, just talking out loud had helped a little. He hoped Stede would sleep the rest of the night soundly, but just in case, Ed would leave his window cracked to keep an ear out for him. After all, he couldn’t let his new friend go wandering around in the dark by himself, right?
~ ~ * ~ ~
Stede woke up in the bathtub. Which wasn’t precisely that odd of an occurrence in his life considering he had woken up twice on a bus and once on a subway. Granted, all three of those instances had been at the worst parts of his marriage when he’d dreamed of escaping more often than not. His sleepwalking had known nearly two years before he had that he needed out of his marriage. Now, it mostly crept up when he didn’t have the kids and he could only imagine he puttered around his empty house looking for them.
“Christ..” He groaned and stood up with a clatter of something falling from his pocket.
He winced as he saw the stone in the tub and reached into his pockets to feel the crushed flowers he must have stuffed there. The heat flared down his cheek as he realized that he had left the house. That was twice within a week that he hadn’t just stayed at home trying to reheat ice cream or building bridges with books in his sleep. That wasn’t good, not when the last time he’d slept walk he’d woken up with someone’s drink and a garden gnome.
He picked the flowers from his pocket and glanced around for his slippers, but they were nowhere in sight. He’d probably done something with them, most likely put them in the freezer which seemed to be where he put important things while he was roaming. He’d been sleepwalking since he was a child, though it didn’t happen that often, it was still embarrassing when he was doing it in public. At least in his old home he had kept to the backyard, but now he was surrounded with neighbors and lord knew what they might think.
He stripped off his pajamas and began to get ready for the day, doing his best to ignore the stacks of books he’d apparently piled in the kitchen for some reason. He’d clean them when he got home. He rushed through getting ready for work and flew out the front door just before nine o’clock with a text to Lucius that he was running behind. And then he spotted his slippers tucked between two of his empty flowerpots.
“Good night, moon.” The vivid memory hit him and he blinked slowly, sifting through his hazy dream.
The bitch about sleepwalking was that he had some memory of it, but all of it was clouded with dreams. His only memory was of the moon talking to him as Stede had walked through a lavish field of flowers The moon had been sad as he’d talked in a soft rumbling voice that filled the sky. For some reason, that made him smile sadly. The moon had liked his slippers, and even awake, that seemed like something important he should remember.