A Gale of Two Worlds

by teaearlygreyhot

Summary:

”Hello, my name is Gale Dekarios. Would you be so kind as to call me an ambulance? I appear to be having some kind of episode.”

”We do not have time to help this… ‘ambulance’. We must report directly to my Kith’rak.” asserted the green one.

“We are in need of aid ourselves, perhaps you can travel with us until we find a healer,” said the purple one.

Just his luck. He was stuck in some kind of nightmare trip with the most dedicated roleplayers in the world. 

Gale’s life is quiet and predictable, spent working at the library and having quiet evenings with his cat- when he’s not dealing with his insufferable neighbor, Astarion.

That is until he wakes up in a world of magic and danger, where he knows nothing and no one, except for one constant: Astarion is still there, sharper, deadlier, and just as much of an asshole.

Now Gale has to survive a story he doesn’t belong in, with no plan, no knowledge of magic, and no idea how to get home.

Chapter 1

Notes:

Hi friends!

This fic is another product of insomnia, so it plays pretty loose with canon and uh, probably also writing conventions lmao.

This one will have slower updates than the other fic being posted bc the chapters are longer and need a lot more editing.

I will probably change the rating later ;) so pls keep an eye on the tags as well.

Hope u enjoy! I had a lot of fun with this concept 💜

Gale couldn’t sleep. 

Once again, he was being kept awake by the obnoxiously loud sounds of lovemaking coming from his upstairs neighbour’s apartment. He had checked the time- it was 3 am for crying out loud! On a Tuesday! This simply wouldn’t do. If he wanted any chance at getting some rest before his shift, he would have to go over and knock. God knew banging on the ceiling had never done any good. 

He dragged his way out of bed and up the flight of stairs to the unit above him, still in his favourite purple silk pyjamas, and knocked loudly on the door. The sounds stopped abruptly, followed by the muffled noise of a woman giggling and a man’s voice “Don’t you worry, my dear, I’ll continue right where we left off”.

The door opened to reveal his neighbour, Astarion, dressed in nothing but a pair of boxers. He was certainly very handsome- as he was clearly aware, with the near constant stream of lovers he entertained. His body was well-toned and he had sharp, high cheekbones that made him look almost like a model. Maybe he even was a model, Gale had no idea what the man did for work. His white hair was messy from the activities that had been so unceremoniously interrupted, and he had a smirk on his face as he looked at Gale through green eyes. 

“If it isn’t my favourite neighbour, Gale. I hope we weren’t being too loud? I try to keep it down, but you know, when you’re having fun…” Astarion trailed off. 

“Actually, yes. I would appreciate it if you tried harder. Some of us have work tomorrow.”

“My apologies! I wouldn’t want to deprive the books of their favourite librarian.”

Gale had tried to be friendly when he moved in here. Astarion had made that very difficult.

“If this continues, I’ll be forced to take it up with the apartment management. This is the third time in less than a week that I’ve been kept up well past midnight by your lovemaking sessions.”

“Maybe you should try it yourself. It seems like you might need a bit of relaxation, if the stress lines on your face are anything to go by.”

“I would be relaxed, if I ever got any damned sleep. But while we’re here you can give me the number of your plastic surgeon, you probably have it on speed dial.”

“That’s very flattering, darling, but this is all natural. I do keep a strenuous exercise regimen, you see” he said with a smirk. 

“Is he gone yet? Come back to bed!” came the woman’s voice from inside. 

“It seems I’m being summoned. Sweet dreams, Gale.” Astarion shut the door in his face, not a moment later the noises started back up at full volume. So much for getting any sleep.

Gale stormed back to his apartment to grab his coat, he might as well take a nighttime walk if he wasn’t going to get any rest. He strolled over to the park near his building, and took a seat on one of the benches, gazing up at the sky. His work had been suffering recently due to his lack of sleep, he had started mixing up ISBN numbers and sorting things into wrong categories. 

Gale almost fell off the bench when in a sudden flash of light, hanging in the sky appeared a humongous black spaceship. The sleep deprivation must have been far worse than he realised, as there was no way it was possible that this strange, almost squid-like vessel was real. He rubbed his eyes, but there it was. Ominously floating right above the city. 

Panic took over him. He stood up to run, to call someone, but before he could move he was gone. He must have fallen unconscious. There were flashes, alien creatures with tentacled faces holding open his eyes to insert a disgusting, wriggling worm. Flames, hellish creatures with wings entering the ship with swords, even a dragon.

Then he was falling through the sky, burning pieces of the alien vessel hurtling down beside him. He flailed his limbs, desperate not to hit the ground. He could feel the pull of some kind of invisible force within him, drawing him somewhere safe. Focusing on the feeling, he squeezed his eyes shut and prayed that he would wake up.

When he opened them, he was no longer falling. He seemed to be surrounded by some kind of strange, glowing purple energy. Was he still dreaming? Up ahead he could make out a semi-translucent opening in the swirling mist. Barely visible were the outlines of two or three human figures. He pushed with all his energy, but it was so hard to move- as if he were trapped in stone. With a final burst of energy he managed to force his hand through the opening. 

“A hand, please?“ he begged.

Whoever was on the other side gave him a high five. Not exactly helpful in his current state. But sure enough, after a few moments they grabbed his hand and pulled. It was definitely a struggle- wherever he was, he was quite stuck. Finally, he felt a give and was pulled forward through the hole, losing his balance and landing on the ground. Looking around, he noticed it was the middle of the day. He was somewhere far outside the city, not a building in sight. 

He gazed up at the person who had pulled him out- a tall individual with purple skin and a rather impressive set of horns. Behind them stood two women- one with pointed ears and long black hair and the other with green skin and an unusual facial structure. All three were wearing armour. Cosplayers or LARPers, perhaps?

“Hello, my name is Gale Dekarios. Would you be so kind as to call me an ambulance? I appear to be having some kind of episode.”

The group members looked at each other in confusion. 

“We do not have time to help this… ‘ambulance’. We must report directly to my Kith’rak.” asserted the green one. 

“I really need medical attention, if you wouldn’t mind pausing for a second” he tried. 

“We are in need of aid ourselves, perhaps you can travel with us until we find a healer” said the purple one. 

Just his luck. He was stuck in some kind of nightmare trip with the most dedicated roleplayers in the world. 

“What? This man is completely useless, a waste of time.” said the green one, apparently outraged. 

“Our Gith friend is right, we can’t pick up every random straggler we come across” chimed in the pointy-eared one. 

Gale honestly wasn’t sure if it would be better to go with these people or try and find help on his own, but he certainly didn’t see anyone else around. Ignoring their companions, the purple one helped him to his feet. 

In a sudden spark of pain, they both grabbed their heads as images flashed before their minds. Gale was vaguely aware that he was witnessing scenes from the stranger’s life, different moments of what looked like renaissance fairs interspersed with sword training and prayer. A whole family of horned people, skin a variety of reds and violets. 

Had he been drugged? If so, this was one hell of a strong hallucinogen. 

The stranger took a few steps back, confusion and fear flashing across their face. “What in the hells was that? Who are you?” they demanded. 

Had this been some kind of mass chemical attack? Was the group’s extreme dedication to staying in character a side effect? Maybe all three of them truly believed they were fantasy creatures right now. 

Gale decided to play along. They might listen to him if he proves himself “useful”, then he could try and push all of them in the direction of a doctor. Out of everyone, he seemed to be the most level-headed right now. 

“Gale of…” he tried to come up with a fantasy sounding name “Water…deep? At your service”. He held out his hand. 

“Tav.” said the stranger, shaking it. “This is Shadowheart-“ they gestured towards the pointy eared one “- and Lae’zel”, the green one. 

“What we saw in your head just now, what was that?” asked Shadowheart, eyeing him with suspicion. “It was all so strange… huge towers of glass and metal beasts.” 

“Yes! Waterdeep is well known for its unique transportation and architecture. I have a glass tower myself!”

“So you’re a wizard, then? Or at least I assume so if you have a tower.” 

“Absolutely. The finest in the land.” 

“Maybe this one is useful. Very well, he may join” said Lae’zel. His plan was working. 

“I’m guessing your search for a healer may arise from the same reason as ours,” said Tav. 

“Yes. These visions plaguing my mind.” said Gale, trying to sound wizardly. 

“A side effect of our shared affliction, the mind flayer tadpoles we were infected with”.

Wait so they had also experienced the whole worm thing? What exactly was going on? “Mind flayer” did not sound like something he wanted to be infected by, even if it was just part of a fucked up roleplay nightmare. 

“Let’s continue, we should cover more distance before it starts getting dark,” said Tav. 

They started walking, making their way toward a cliffside that overlooked a quiet coastline. It would be a beautiful landscape if it weren’t for the occasional large pieces of burning machinery he was hallucinating. How had he managed to travel so far from the city?

There was someone up ahead on the road. Finally, a familiar face. Under any other circumstances his neighbour would have been the last person he wanted to see, but right now- he just wanted help.

“Astarion! I didn’t know you were into cosplay.”

Astarion was dressed in an elegant velvet doublet. He was also wearing elf ears, but these were longer and pointier than Shadowheart’s. A pair of red contact lenses in the man’s eyes gave him a striking effect.  

The next thing he knew, Astarion was on top of him. He could feel the point of what felt disturbingly like a real dagger against his throat. 

“How do you know my name? Who sent you?” growled his neighbour. 

“I can see you’re in character right now, but I’m not part of this- I urgently need help!” It was starting to look like nobody around here had avoided whatever was causing these strange effects. 

“Oh, I’ll give you some help alright-“

“One more move and you won’t be helping anyone”. Tav had drawn their sword and was pointing it in Astarion’s direction. 

“Apologies, no need to be rash.” Astarion stood up and dusted himself off, returning the dagger to his belt. “I can tell when I’ve been bested. I assume you’ll be wanting to take me back to Cazador then?”

“Who's Cazador?” asked Gale. 

“Wait, he didn’t send you? How did you know my name, then?”

“It must have come to me… in a magic vision.”

Right on cue they were hit again by a wave of pain and flashing images. Gale saw the dark streets of an ancient city, violence, anger. 

“What was that just now?” panted Astarion in confusion. “Were you also on the ship?” 

“Yes,” said Tav, who was still pointing a sword in his direction. “It appears the parasite is causing some kind of mental connection between the infected. I’m sure I don’t need to explain how urgent it is that we find a healer.” 

“I seem to have forgotten my manners. Astarion, as my strangely dressed friend here already mentioned.” Astarion held out a hand to Tav, who sheathed their sword before shaking it cautiously. “Perhaps we can help each other.”

“Do not get sidetracked!” urged Lae’zel. 

Despite her objections, Tav responded “You’re welcome to meet us at our camp. We could use all the help we can get.”

“Very well. I’m sure I can prove myself a valuable asset to your little expedition.” said Astarion. 

“You’ll find it south-east of here in a clearing. This is Shadowheart, Lae’zel and Gale. They’ve also been infected.”

“A pleasure. I’ll go and get myself settled then”.

“Shouldn’t he stay with us? Safety in numbers and all” Gale interjected. Irritating as the man was  both in-character and out, he didn’t want him getting lost in the wilderness during a bad trip. 

“I can see your group is already quite full. I prefer something more intimate. Though you’re welcome to join me if you’d like to help me get set up.”

“The wizard stays with us,” said Tav. 

It appeared Gale didn’t have a choice. He hoped that by the time he found someone who could help them, a doctor ideally, he would be able to relocate the man. 

Chapter 2

Notes:

Cw for body shaming

“I’ve never been to Waterdeep,” said Shadowheart. “What’s it like?”

The group was continuing their journey on a path through the forest.

“Oh, um. Quite magnificent! We have some very fine… cheeses?” Improvisation had never been a strong suit of his. “You should really make the time for a holiday once we’ve gotten help.”

“I’m afraid I’ll be heading directly to Baldur’s Gate after this. I have an urgent delivery to make.”

“Yes, that Baldur does make a fine gate.”

Shadowheart looked at him as if he had sprouted his own pair of horns. Clearly that hadn’t been the right thing to say.

“You have an unusual sense of humour.”

“So… what’s this delivery you have to make?”

“I usually wouldn’t be at liberty to discuss, but considering your knowledge of the arcane you may be able to shed some light.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a spiked dodecahedron covered in glowing symbols. “I was on a mission to retrieve this before I was abducted onto the Nautiloid.”

Nautiloid must be the name of the ship he was on earlier. It was getting hard to keep track of all the different fantasy words.

“Pa’vrylk! That is an artefact of my people! Surrender it at once and I may consider sparing you the end of my blade.” growled Lae’zel upon seeing the object.

“Your people” spat Shadowheart “murdered my entire party”.

“A fate that would have been easily avoided had they not been thieves!” yelled Lae’zel, reaching for her sword.

Gale wondered when the effects would wear off. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this up.

Tav strode over and stood intimidatingly between the two women. “Stand down, both of you.”

Neither of them moved, Lae’zel’s hand still wrapped around the grip of her blade.

“We need to stay focused if we want to get out of this alive. You can save your bickering for once we’ve gotten these tadpoles out of our heads”

“Chk,” spat Lae’zel. “Fine. But should she show one sign of ceremorphosis, I will delight in taking her life.”

“A sentiment I very much share. Or have you forgotten you are equally at risk of growing a shiny new set of tentacles?”

“I am well aware of my condition. I will take the lives of everyone in our party as well as my own the moment I notice any symptoms.”

Tentacles? Ceremorphosis? This was all extremely hard to follow. Gale wondered idly if the two women were lovers outside of their roleplay personas. They certainly had good chemistry.

The sun had started setting at this point and it was getting rather hard to see.

“We had better head back to camp, we will need rest so we have strength to move our supplies,” said Tav. “We don’t know where the next Ancient Sigil will appear”.

“It will be hard to rest with one eye open for our pale friend with the dagger, and the other to watch that the Githyanki doesn’t murder us all.” said Shadowheart.

“To be murdered by me would be a kindness compared to becoming Ghaik.”

“I’d rather take my chances.”

Gale was glad to be heading back. The effects of whatever drug he was on would surely wear off over night, then they could all focus on trying to find their way back to civilization.

Astarion was waiting for them at the campsite. Already having built himself a tent, he was lounging on top of a sleeping bag reading a book.

“Ah! My infernal friend returns with their merry little band of followers. Any luck finding someone to rid us of our cranial stowaways?”

“Afraid not. We’ll move camp further inland tomorrow, there was nothing of use along the coast.” responded Tav. “Gale, would you light the fire? I can gather some ingredients for dinner.”

That was a relief. Gale had become aware of a gnawing hunger growing in intensity over the last few hours. “I seem to have misplaced my lighter,” he said.

“Is that what you call your staff? It should be simple enough to conjure a flame without it, no?”

“Right. I may have forgotten how to do that, probably the tadpole.”

“Strange. I did find myself weaker after our encounter on the ship, but I haven’t forgotten anything as far as I’m aware” said Tav.

“I’ll take care of it.” said Shadowheart. “Ignis!” A bolt of flame shot from her fingertips, igniting a pile of firewood at the centre of the campsite.

Gale wondered what kind of drug could cause such consistent delusions. He would have to ask for a blood test, once he got himself to a hospital.

“Let me help you set up your tent, Gale,” said Astarion, getting up from his comfortable spot and wandering over to a pile of camp supplies. After finding something suitable, he led Gale to a free space on the edge of the clearing.

Once they were out of earshot, the man hissed at him. “I don’t know what you’re playing at, wizard, but you haven’t got me fooled. You knew my name well before the tadpole connection thing happened. I’m not going back to Cazador, and I won’t hesitate to stop anyone who tries to make me.”

“You seriously don’t recognize me?”

“Should I? Have we met before, in Baldur’s Gate?”

So Baldur’s Gate must be a place name.

“Yes, that’s right”. Gale had to take the gamble that his acquaintance wouldn’t ask too many difficult questions. He didn’t want to know what would happen if he said something wrong again.

“Well why didn’t you say so, darling? You got me all hot and bothered over nothing.” Astarion’s posture relaxed, his demeanour completely changing. “Don’t be offended that I'd forgotten you, I do meet so many people it’s rather hard to keep track of them all.” it seems the drugs hadn’t affected the part of him that was an arrogant bastard.

“No offence taken.”

“I’d best get back to the campfire then” said Astarion, turning to leave.

“Weren’t you going to help me with the tent?”

“I’m sure you’ll manage”.

—

At some point Tav had returned with a freshly killed rabbit and an assortment of vegetables, which they were now ladling up as a hearty stew. Gale’s campmates watched him struggle with the tent in amusement as they began to eat.

“I wouldn’t say no to a bit of help, you know” said Gale, trying to tie down one of the ropes supporting the wobbly structure.

“We were enjoying the entertainment,” said Astarion. The bastard wasn’t even eating, just enjoying himself next to the fire as Gale finally got the rope secure.

This would have to do, his hunger had grown to a point where he was almost in physical pain. If the tent fell down he could just put his sleeping bag next to the fire. Gale grabbed himself a bowl and devoured the somewhat tasteless slop within minutes. He filled his bowl with a second serving, the first having barely made a dent on the empty feeling in his stomach.

“Do you always eat so much, wizard?” asked Tav, side-eyeing him as he hastily spooned the food into his mouth. “It may cause problems if we’re unable to secure regular supplies.”

“I’m sorry, the exertion of the day must be getting to me. I swear I’m not usually such a glutton.”

“Your waistline says otherwise” said Astarion, and Shadowheart stifled a giggle next to him. “I imagine it’s not often that a Wizard has to rough it in the countryside.”

“I suppose not. And what is it that you do Astarion, if I may ask?”

“I’m a magistrate back in Baldur’s Gate. Dreadfully boring.”

“Then I take it you’re not so familiar with the countryside yourself.”

“Not particularly. But I’m no stranger to sleeping rough. Difficult youth, you see.”

“I’m sorry to hear that”

“Don’t be, darling. That’s all in the past now.”

—

Once the embers of the campfire had died down and their bowls were empty, the group of travellers retired to their tents. Gale was pleasantly surprised to find that his was still standing. He climbed inside and closed the flap, before collapsing on the sleeping bag in exhaustion and pain.

The intense hunger from before had barely been sated, but he hadn’t trusted himself to get a third bowl of soup. Now that he was alone, he became aware that the empty feeling was coming less from his stomach, and more from his chest. It was an intense sensation. He unbuttoned his shirt to see if anything was amiss.

Right there, in the middle of his sternum, was a tattoo that he definitely hadn’t had before. He rubbed at it, praying it was just some kind of body paint, but the mark didn’t budge. If the beings on the spaceship had been real, had they given him this tattoo?

No, what was he thinking? There was no way any of this was real. He just needed to go to sleep and let whatever was affecting his mind wear off. The tattoo would be gone in the morning. He forced his eyes shut and tried to ignore the pangs as he drifted off into a restless sleep.

Chapter 3

Gale awoke in the tent. So that part, at least, had been real. He was almost too scared to check, but when he unbuttoned his shirt the tattoo from last night was still clearly visible. There was no way his meagre salary would cover the costs of a removal, but that was something he would have to worry about later. 

He could already hear the sounds of his campmates outside packing up their supplies. Which, rather disappointingly, was not the sound of them coming to their senses and freaking out about the events of the previous day. Still holding out a sliver of hope, he rolled up the flap to his tent and stepped outside. 

In the cold, bright light of the morning, Gale saw what he had refused to see yesterday. There was no body paint or fake ears. He looked at Tav and wondered how he had failed to see the long, pointed tail swishing casually behind them.

“Good morning, Gale. I trust you slept well?” said Tav when they spotted him. 

His head was spinning. So, either he had gone completely insane and was lying in a madhouse somewhere dreaming all of this, or he had somehow been transported to another world where wizards and people with horns were real. Both of these options sounded equally unreasonable. 

He sat down on a log next to the burnt remains of the campfire. Everything certainly felt real, he could still smell the smoke from last night and hear birds in the distance. The pain in his chest was very much real. He tried to push down the wave of existential dread that was forming. 

“Gale?” Tav was looking at him in concern, waiting for a response. 

“Sorry, I’m just feeling a bit dizzy”

“Do I need to be worried? We have a lot of ground to cover today and I can’t afford to have any dead weight.”

“No, I’ll be perfectly fine. I just need some coffee is all.” 

“If you can explain to me what that is, we can keep an eye out on the road.”

Oh for fucks sake. The prospect of having to carry heavy equipment through the wilderness for god knows how long, with a group of most likely very dangerous magical strangers, while also being in severe pain was bad enough. But having to do it with caffeine withdrawals? Absolutely brutal. 

“Don’t worry about it, I can manage.”

Tav helped him pack up his tent, clearly not trusting his abilities after last night’s display. And with that, everything was ready for the long journey ahead of them. 

---

“Shadowheart, a moment?” asked Gale, panting as he finally managed to catch up to her. 

She was easily matching Tav’s brisk pace, despite carrying more than twice the load Gale was managing with his weak knees. “Can I help you with something?” she asked. 

“I was wondering if when we set up camp, you might have a moment to show me how you summoned the flame. It might serve to jog my memory”. 

Gale knew if he wanted to keep his place in the group, he would need to learn how to be a wizard, and fast. He still wasn’t exactly sure that this was the ideal group of people to be around, but it was certainly better than being alone and it wasn't as if any better options had presented themselves. 

“Of course. It’s a simple cantrip, I can show you right now if you’d like?”

“Really? That would be fantastic, thank you”

“Okay, well. I’m a cleric, obviously, so my magic comes from a different source than yours. But the principle should be the same- just focus on the weave or whatever it is that wizards do, and say the verbal component out loud. In this case ‘Ignis’” she was pointing her hand at a boulder, and a small mote of flame shot at it before fizzling out. 

Gale closed his eyes, trying to focus on whatever the weave might be, then pointed his hand at the boulder. “Ignis!” he repeated, and to his delight his own small fire hit the stone. The moment of pride was fleeting, as suddenly he was gasping in pain, radiating up his neck from his chest. 

“Gale! Are you okay?” asked Shadowheart, concerned. 

Gale pulled open his top buttons to assess the damage, but the mark remained unchanged. The pain had already passed. 

“Yes, apologies. The pain wasn’t that bad, I simply wasn’t expecting it”.

“I see” she said, idly rubbing her palm. “Interesting tattoo you have,” she leaned in closer to examine it. 

“I think those creatures might have given it to me, on the ship. I didn’t have it before Tav pulled me out of that portal.”

“You think the Ilithids gave you a tattoo? That seems highly unusual.”

“Wow, Gale. I didn’t realise you had an eye for Shadowheart. I doubt the fact you have a weird tattoo is going to make up for your… well, everything else." It was Astarion, who until now had been calmly strolling behind the rest of the group with only a small bag of his belongings. 

“It’s not like that, Astarion. He was just showing me because he thinks the mind flayers gave it to him on the nautiloid.” said Shadowheart. 

“I’m starting to think you must have bumped your head when you fell from that ship. First you forget how to do magic- as a wizard, now you’re saying the mind flayers wanted to give you a little makeover?” said Astarion with a smirk. “I wonder if you’re not becoming a detriment to the group’s safety.”

How was it possible that this pointier, alternate universe version of his neighbour was even more of a dickhead than the original?

“I didn’t have it before I was abducted!” said Gale. “And besides, Shadowheart here was just helping me jog my memories. I should have them back in no time”. 

“Perhaps we can ask once we find a healer,” said Shadowheart, a strange expression on her face. 

“You’re sure you didn’t just forget about it after a drunken night on the town?” asked Astarion as Gale buttoned his shirt back up. 

“Hardly” said Gale, annoyed at the man who was trying to get him kicked from the group. 

“You’re right, my mistake for assuming you know how to have fun.”

---

It looked to be about midday when Tav decided they should set up camp. There was still a portion of soup in the cauldron from last night. This was Gale’s chance to prove himself. 

He piled up a small portion of wood and braced himself before uttering the incantation. To his relief, it worked- and now that he knew what to expect, the pain had been quite manageable. He placed the pot over the fire and began to stir, Tav looking on in approval. He wondered what other spells there might be for him to learn. Assembling the tent had also proven easier the second time around, and with their bellies full and the camp set up they were ready for another expedition to find a healer. 

Astarion hadn’t eaten again, “I’m still full from last night. Small appetite,” he said. Gale wondered if anyone else had noticed the lie. The man had elected himself to stay back and guard the camp, which was awfully annoying considering his accusations of Gale’s laziness. 

And so, Gale and the remaining three others set off into the forest. It wasn’t long before Lae’zel stopped them at the edge of a clearing, a finger raised to her mouth to indicate she had seen something. 

Gale squinted through the trees, trying to see what it was that had startled her. He didn’t need to look very hard, as not seconds later the sounds of yelling drew his attention to a group of armoured men running towards the other end of the clearing. They were being closely pursued by a small army of angry looking green creatures, which Gale assumed must be goblins. 

“Open the gates!” Yelled one of the men desperately. Gale hadn’t noticed before, but in the direction the men were running was a well-camouflaged gate, on top of which stood a man who must have been of the same race as Tav. He didn’t oblige, yelling something back that Gale couldn’t make out over the increasingly loud noises of the Goblins. 

Tav gave a signal, and his three companions started advancing on the Goblins from behind, drawing their weapons. Gale stood frozen in place, unsure of whether to follow until Tav gave him an angry look that got him moving. 

An arrow flew from somewhere above him, landing directly next to his foot. He was definitely going to die. 

---

The fight had been a blur of violence and goblin guts. Gale had very narrowly avoided several attacks and at one point had even been grazed by the claws of a giant wolf-like creature. He learned during the fight that Shadowheart primarily dealt in healing spells, as she was quick to patch him up with a wave of her hand and an incantation. 

At some point, a very confident man announcing himself as the “Blade of Frontiers” had appeared from somewhere or other, and his sword along with Tav’s and Lae’zel’s had made easy work of the goblins. Gale had even managed to get a few “Ignis”s in, one of which had completely incinerated a heavily injured goblin who had been reaching for its bow. He was feeling quite proud of himself for that. 

Tav came up to him after the fight was over. They had made a round to speak with the people there- as it turns out the gate was the entrance of something they called a “Druid’s Grove”. There seemed to be some kind of conflict going on between the druids and the people of Tav’s race- “Tieflings” they had said- who were being kicked out.

The reason Tav wanted to speak to him though, was regarding Blade of Frontiers- Wyll. 

“I think it’s best if Wyll is on our team moving forward.”

“Wonderful! The more, the merrier.”

“Well, that’s the thing. You don’t seem to be suited to fighting, or defending, or… anything that is important for this kind of work. I’ve heard there’s a powerful healer here, perhaps once we’ve spoken to him it might be time to part ways.” 

“I totally incinerated one of those goblins!”

“A single goblin who was already on the way out? Not exactly impressive for a wizard who claimed himself finest in the land not a day ago.”

Well, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to stick around with these druids. They seemed friendly enough, at least to anyone who wasn't a Tiefling… on second thought maybe he didn’t want to get stuck with a bunch of racist hippies. Still, Tav was right. He brought nothing to their little group.

“I understand, thank you for assisting me this far.”

“It’s nothing personal, Gale. It’s just our lives are at stake and I need to make the best decisions to ensure our safety”

“Of course.”

Notes:

Sorry for the long break! I didn't abandon this fic, it just needs a lot of editing and I haven't had much energy recently.
Hopefully should be back to regular updates <3

This Tav was originally based on my first playthrough Tav but they kinda developed into their own unique character haha.

Chapter 4: Interlude

Notes:

Hello! The interludes take place from wizard Gale's perspective in the real world. They will come every couple of chapters.
Enjoy!
cw for threats of forced psychiatry/medical gaslighting? Idk how to tag it

“Gale? What the hell are you doing?”

Gale’s eyelids fluttered as his eyes adjusted to the morning light. 

“Don’t tell me you’re so sensitive that you would prefer to sleep in the park like a bum than listen to a little harmless fucking.”

He looked up at the stranger who was speaking to him. The man was strikingly pale, with white blonde hair and sharp features pulled into an expression of mocking concern. 

“What…” started Gale, as he started to take in his unfamiliar surroundings. He seemed to be laying on a bench in a small park, tall, reflective buildings visible in the distance. Definitely not Waterdeep. 

“Where am I?” 

The stranger’s expression changed to one of mild amusement. “Have you been drinking? Christ, I wouldn’t have expected this kind of embarrassing behaviour from Mr. Wet blanket, though it would explain that ridiculous getup.”

“I don’t think so…”. He tried to think back to the previous night. Alone in his tower, some light reading, perhaps a small glass of wine. Certainly nothing to explain how he had woken up in a completely unknown location. As far as he could recall, it had been much the same as almost every other night since he had been infected with that blasted orb.

Wait… the orb. He couldn’t feel the orb. Gale hurriedly unclasped the top of his robe, revealing his completely unblemished collarbones. It was gone. Relief washed over him, quickly replaced by panic as it dawned on him that it wasn’t only the sensation of the orb that was missing- but the weave altogether. 

“Please, I am an Archmage of Waterdeep. I need to get back to my tower as soon as possible, if you could direct me to the nearest Portal.”

The pale man’s face flickered to one of genuine concern. “Did you hit your head, Gale? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“It is imperative for everyone’s safety that I return to Waterdeep at once. I don’t have time to explain.” Of course, his first thought was that Mystra had finally grown tired of his failure and severed his connection to the weave altogether- a terrifying prospect. However, he couldn’t afford to make any assumptions. If he had been attacked- if the orb had fallen into the wrong hands- there could be dire consequences.

The man scowled at him. “Of all the mornings- you’d better actually be having a mental breakdown right now, because if you’re fucking with me as some kind of payback I really don’t have time.” 

“I assure you I am of completely sound mind. You can confirm my identity with any high ranking mage- Gale of Waterdeep. Now please, a portal.” 

“Right…” the stranger shifted uncomfortably, reaching into his pocket to pull out a glowing tablet. “Okay. Um, how about this? Why don’t you follow me, we can go back to your flat and you can get some rest and snap yourself out of… whatever this is.”

Hm, not exactly what he was hoping for. This man seemed to recognise him… could it be possible that he was the one responsible for Gale’s predicament? That didn’t seem accurate- despite his rather rude demeanor, the stranger did seem somewhat concerned for his well being. Perhaps it would be best to play along, at least until he could unravel some of the mystery of what had happened to him last night. 

They walked silently through the park, the stranger occasionally pulling out the tablet and tapping on it ritualistically. A sending stone of some kind, perhaps? After a few short minutes, they had left the park and were standing in front of a grey, box-like building. The man pressed a combination of buttons next to the door, and with a buzzing sound he pushed it open. 

After a few flights of stairs they stood in front of another door, a small sign next to it reading “Dekarios”. Gale suddenly felt extremely vulnerable, he had no weapon and no magic to defend himself. What if this was a trap? 

“Well go on then, open it.” the man stared at him impatiently. 

“I… seem to have misplaced my key.”

“God damn it- I swear, if I get in shit with Cazador over this I will never let you have another night’s rest.”

They were both startled as music began blaring from the man’s pocket. Something about his demeanor changed as he pulled out the tablet, which seemed to be the source of the tune. “Speak of the devil,” he murmured, and tapped it once before pressing it to his ear. He seemed on edge, his voice taking on a sultry, sickly sweet tone. 

“Yes, darling, I’m afraid I’m running slightly late.”

Gale could hear the muffled sounds of another voice coming from the enchanted object. Definitely some kind of highly sophisticated sending stone. 

“I know, I’m sorry-”

Whoever he was talking to had interrupted him quite aggressively. 

“Unfortunately one of my neighbors is having a medical emergency-”

His face shifted to annoyance.

“What, and I should have just left him to die?”

The stranger let out a short sigh.

“Fine, I’m on my way. It won’t happen again.” 

He huffed angrily and stuffed the tablet back into his pocket. Then, he reached into a bag strung across his chest and pulled out a small card with a long black stripe across the face. 

“If I hear one word of this from apartment management, I swear I will fucking kill you.” The man grumbled, as he slid the card in the gap between the door and its frame and started jiggling the handle. After a few short moments there was a click, and it swung open. 

“Now I really, really must get going. Is there someone you can call who can come and check on you?”

“Call? I, uh, misplaced my sending stone if that’s what you mean.”

“Of course that would be far too easy.” The stranger pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, just… stay in here. When I’m done I’ll come and make sure you haven’t had an aneurysm or something, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good. Fuck. I’m leaving.” With that, the stranger turned around and dashed off, leaving the door to swing shut. 

Gale glanced around the unfamiliar apartment, bracing himself in case there was some kind of danger. He was standing in a smallish room, the style of decoration completely foreign to him. 

From a small corridor towards the back of the room, a familiar creature came padding towards him. 

“Oh thank the gods, Tara. Something’s happened- the orb, my magic, it’s all gone.”

“Meow”

Something wasn’t right, this wasn’t Tara at all. The cat before him looked almost identical to his familiar, but this creature was missing her wings.

What in the hells was going on? The cat purred and rubbed herself against his ankles. He squatted down to scratch not-Tara behind the ears as he tried to process his predicament. 

———

A search around the apartment had only deepened his confusion. First of all, there were hyper realistic portraits of him displayed throughout the abode. The clothing he was wearing in the pictures was completely foreign, and he had no memories of the moments the images captured- he and Tara posing with matching sweaters, himself as a young man in a black robe and very unfashionable square hat standing next to his mother. 

There were also the notebooks, years worth of journals written in his own script. Despite the contents being foreign to him, whoever had written them had a clear understanding of his internal thought processes. They had also mentioned Mystra quite a number of times so they clearly knew enough about him to make a convincing falsification. 

He had come to two conclusions- either someone had gone to an awful lot of effort to steal his identity and then kidnap him for some unknown reason, or he had been transported to an alternate reality. 

Of course he had casually studied the multiverse, but as far as he remembered a huge source of magical energy was required to facilitate transportation between universes. He had barely left his tower in months, let alone done any strenuous enough spellcasting to warrant a reality shift. 

And if it were the case- if he really had found himself stranded in some alternate universe with no powers- without access to his vast library he had no idea what to do about it. He supposed he would have to try and find a library here, perhaps he could ask the stranger who had helped him once he returned. He might even be able to find another wizard to help him. 

His thoughts were interrupted by a rhythmic buzzing noise coming from somewhere in the bedroom. A short search revealed an arcane tablet similar to the one the stranger had been using, the words Greg Manager illuminating on its surface. 

Before he could try and interact with the object, the buzzing stopped and it went dark. He picked it up and it lit up once again, this time with a picture of Tara with the time of day written above her head. He wondered how the arcane functioned in this world, clearly they had made advancements far beyond what he had back home. 

Attempting to tap on the tablet as he had seen the stranger do caused a grid of numbers to appear. It seemed the device was protected with a ward, requiring a code for activation. If this artefact belonged to some other version of himself, perhaps it would be possible to guess.

He started by inputting his birthday in numerical form. The device vibrated, but did not relent its secrets. Maybe this world used a different calendar system? He had seen what looked like a calendar hanging in the main room. 

A few calculations later, he input his adjusted date of birth and the image on the device changed, revealing dozens of colourful square pictographs. Before he could tap any further, a knock sounded at the door. 

He walked back over to the entrance, on full alert in case it was someone hostile. 

“Who is it?” he called. 

“Astarion. Open up.” Came the voice of the stranger who had helped him earlier. 

Gale opened the door and the man stepped inside. Astarion glanced down at the device, still in Gale’s hand. 

“Ah, you found your phone. I take it you’re no longer completely mad then?”

“I was never mad, however I do believe I found the root of the problem- I appear to have somehow switched realities. Unfortunately I’ve also lost access to my powers so if you could direct me to a library, or even better a competent mage, I’ll be out of your curly white hair as quickly as you can say Drizzt Do’Urden.”

“Oh, Christ. Apparently the correct answer should have been ‘stark raving’. Gale, wizards are not real.”

Oh. This severely complicated matters. A universe without wizards… that would explain why he had lost connection to the weave. Did this universe have any magic? It had to, based on the device still held in his hand. 

“Why don’t you give me that and I’ll call someone for you, then you can take a nice little grippy sock vacation.”

Astarion took the “phone” from him and started tapping on it. 

“Hmm, let’s see… Mother sounds like a good option.”

With another tap he held the device to his ear. After a few short seconds, Gale heard the muffled sound of his mother’s voice coming from the phone. 

“Yes, hello. This is Astarion Ancunín, Gale’s neighbor. I’m afraid he seems to have suffered some kind of severe psychological breakdown so if you’re in the area I would appreciate it if you could come and help him.”

He couldn’t make out what his mother was saying, but she sounded hysterical. 

“Yes, I understand. I simply won’t be able to watch him for that long and I believe he could be a danger to himself or others.”

Astarion grimaced in frustration, listening to whatever his mother was saying, before handing the phone to Gale. “She wants to talk to you.”

Gale pressed the device to his ear. “Hello, Mother. Can you hear me?”

“Oh my sweet boy! Tell me what’s happened, your neighbor told me you had some kind of mental breakdown. I did say you needed to tone things down at work, you’ve been under so much stress my dear.”

It was comforting to hear a familiar voice. Apparently this universe’s Morena was just as much of a worrywart as the one back home.

“I’m completely fine, Mother. Astarion was just… misunderstood is all-“

“Give me that!” Hissed Astarion, grabbing the phone back. “Ms. Dekarios, I’m afraid your son is under the genuine impression that he’s a wizard and doesn’t believe there’s anything wrong with him. He also seems to have some serious degree of memory loss.”

More muffled hysterical noises came from the phone. 

“I'm sorry, but that’s simply not my responsibility! I can drive him to the a&e, but that’s all I can offer.”

Astarion gave a sigh. 

“Alright, I’ll let him know. Have a safe trip, Ms. Dekarios.”

He handed the phone back to Gale. “Alright, we’re going on a drive. Your mother will be here tomorrow.”

“Where are we going?”

“To a lovely place where the doctors can pump you full of drugs and get you all fixed up. Come on.”

Was he going to be taken to the madhouse? There was no way Gale could let that happen. 

“I really don’t think that’s necessary, I’m feeling better already! Of course wizards aren’t real.”

“Gale, you can either come with me or I’ll call an ambulance and they can take you by force.” 

Was the “ambulance” some kind of law enforcement? Gale hesitated, he didn’t want to make things any worse for himself. If he played his cards right, he might be able to convince the healers to let him go, then once his mother was here he could get things sorted. 

“Fine. Lead the way.”

Astarion led him to the basement of the building and into a large, wheeled metal contraption. It seemed to be some kind of magic-powered carriage. They each took a seat inside, and with a rumbling noise Astarion began to operate its complex navigation system. 

“How long do you think I will be gone?” Gale asked. Without the use of magic or opposable thumbs, Gale was worried about Tara’s ability to look after herself. 

“Until you stop spouting fairytales.”

“Can you watch my cat for me while I’m away?”

Astarion scowled. “Fine, you’re lucky I’m a cat person. But this is the last favour I’m doing for you. You’ve already made enough problems for me.”

“Apologies. I didn’t wish to cause you any trouble.”

“Christ, would you stop talking like a Tolkien character for one bloody minute?” He snapped. “Just let me focus on the road.”

They continued in silence. Gale stared out the window of the carriage, taking in the sights of this strange new world. Dozens of similar machines drove aside them on the roads, weaving around each other with precision. The architecture of the city was unlike anything he had ever seen, buildings of heights challenging that of Ramizath’s tower graced the skylines, many of them even looked to be made completely from glittering panes of glass. 

Eventually they pulled in towards a huge, white building. Hundreds of metal carriages rested idly in marked spaces in front of it. 

“£10 an hour?! They have to be joking!” Astarion yelled as he turned into an empty space. “You can pay me back once you’re out. And we can talk about compensation for the pet sitting then too.”

The huge, glass doors slid open automatically as they approached the building. Quite an ingenious use of a proximity detection spell, he would have to look into employing something like that for his own tower. 

A bored looking woman dressed in a matching blue shirt and trousers sat behind a desk in the entrance. “Can I help you?”

“This is my neighbor, Gale Dekarios. He’s had some kind of mental breakdown so if I could just leave him here-” 

“NHS number?” She asked.

“What?”

“Oh. Shit, I should have thought about that. His mother is coming tomorrow so she should be able to bring any documents.”

“Fine. Fill this out. If you can’t answer a question, leave it blank.” She passed a crisp, white form and a pen over the counter. 

“You don’t happen to have an inkwell?” 

She looked at him with concern. “Sir, the ink is inside the pen.” She pressed a few of the square buttons which were lined up on a large tablet in front of her before turning to Astarion. “I’ve bumped him up on the waiting list.”

Gale read over the form. He wrote his name and new date of birth in the required boxes and left the one labelled NHS number blank. 

Address. Hm. He turned to look at Astarion, who was impatiently tapping his fingers on the desk. 

“Could you perhaps help me with this?”

Astarion gave him a glare, before yanking the pen and paper out of Gale’s hands and beginning to scribble on it furiously. 

“Where were you born?” He asked. 

“Waterdeep.”

Astarion let out a deep sigh. “Do you have pre-existing medical conditions or do you take any medication?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“Emergency contact… What’s your mother’s name?”

“Morena Dekarios” 

“Give me your phone.” Astarion tapped on it a few times before copying something onto the paper. He handed the paper over to the woman. “Alright, if I’m no longer needed, I’ll be leaving.”

“Thank you, Astarion. You’ve been very helpful.” Even though Astarion had only really caused more problems for him, Gale could see that he had at least been trying to help- even to his own detriment. 

“Yes, well. Don’t get used to it. Get well soon, I suppose.” And with that, he walked away through the glass doors. 

Notes:

Thank you to MsCoutts for the idea of adding wizard!Gale’s perspective <3

Chapter 5

Gale trudged angrily back to the campsite, still reeling from the uncomfortable conversation with Tav. So maybe he wasn’t the most useful wizard, but he was trying, wasn’t he? It wasn’t as if Astarion was being kicked out, and that asshole hadn’t contributed a thing.

As it turned out, the healer- Master Halsin- had been taken hostage leaving only an apprentice in his place. Gale had been permitted to remain for the conversation with said apprentice, but he kind of wished he hadn’t, as now he had the full gory details of what ceremorphosis would entail.

Halsin had been studying the tadpoles before he was kidnapped, and his research had revealed they had been somehow altered by magic- making them impossible to remove, at least by him. The apprentice had given Tav a small vial containing a deadly poison in case they started noticing any signs of transformation.

The rest of the group had already patched themselves up and set off to scope out the Goblin’s base, and being of no further use, Gale was sent back with his tail between his legs. He reached camp to find a surprised Astarion, lounging on a log with a book.

“Gale! I hadn’t expected anyone to return until at least sundown.”

“I’ve been kicked out of the group,” said Gale flatly.

“Poor wizard. We’re really going to miss your antics. It will be such a pity when you turn into a horrible emotionless monster.”

“What do you mean? We still have time, don’t we? I’ll just find another healer.”

“I overheard Tav and Shadowheart. They seem to think the only reason we haven’t already sprouted tentacles is that artifact Shadowheart carries around.”

“So if they leave me here…” the realisation of the statement dawning on Gale.

“I’m afraid it will be terminal.”

“Oh.”

“If you weren’t so unfortunate looking I would suggest using my tactic of seducing the leader. Protection guaranteed.”

“What!?”

Gale had noticed Astarion’s frequent flirtations towards the Tiefling. They certainly had seemed interested in him.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. I don’t mind rolling myself over as long as it means I don’t turn into a hideous freak. No offence.” said Astarion flippantly.

“I haven’t transformed yet!”

“Well It might be worth saying any final goodbyes. Who knows how long it will be until we pack up camp and move on.”

“You don’t have to sound so happy about it!”

“I’m simply not the sentimental type, darling. It’s nothing personal.”

Gale stared angrily at the ground. It had barely been a day since he had found himself in this place and he was already being brushed aside to die. And what about his cat? If he died here nobody would be there to feed Tara. He hoped someone would notice his absence before she starved.

Something caught his eye, on the ground near where Astarion was lying was a dead rabbit. It looked strange, shrivelled somehow.

“Have you been hunting? That seems uncharacteristically helpful.” asked Gale, his suspicions raised.

“Oh, that? Um, yes I found it in a trap. Seems worthless, something’s already gotten to it”. Astarion was trying to seem casual, but Gale could tell there was something off.

He tried to take a closer look.

“I wouldn’t get closer! It’s probably diseased. You wouldn’t want to reduce your already limited time, would you?” Astarion was definitely panicking.

“You’re literally right next to it! Let me see,” Gale took a step forward, and from this angle could clearly see the shape of a large bite mark in the rabbits fur. Suddenly it clicked.

“You’re a vampire!” exclaimed Gale.

Gale hadn’t really associated vampires with the wizards and elves kind of fantasy he had experienced so far. But the signs had been obvious, his red eyes and lack of appetite. Now that he was looking, the man had a scar on his neck straight out of a classic vampire flick.

“Shh! Gods, Gale not so loud! Do you want the whole of Faerûn hearing?”

“We’re totally alone, Astarion. Shouldn’t I be the anxious one? You could suck my blood and nobody would know.”

“Ew, no. As if I would drink your rancid blood.”

“I’m sure my blood would be delicious, like a fine port wine.”

“I wasn’t kidding, Gale. Your blood smells disturbing, there’s something wrong with you.”

“And you didn’t think to mention this before??”

“What should I have said? ‘Hello, I’m Astarion. By the way, I couldn’t help but notice that you have stinky blood. Don’t ask how I know!’”

“You could have told the truth.”

“That would have been worse! You think holy paladin Tav would be fine letting a vampire sleep amongst them?”

“Fair point. You’re not scared of getting kicked out once they realise?”

“They’re not going to realise. I was doing a perfectly fine job of hiding things until you had to come along. Oh gods, you’re not going to tell them are you?” genuine fear spread across Astarion’s face at the thought.

Gale was certainly tempted. Astarion hadn’t done much to win him over, quite the opposite in fact. Perhaps Tav would even let him back in the team if he exposed this danger.

On the other hand, Tav could just as easily kick both of them out. Then he would be condemning the man to a grisly fate, something not even Astarion deserved despite his flawed personality.

“I suppose not.” said Gale finally.

“Thank you, Gale,” said Astarion, relieved. “I am sorry about your blood. Perhaps the Druid will be able to help?”

“I don’t know if it’s worth the hassle to be honest. Considering I’m going to die anyway.”

“I guess not,” Astarion looked away. “I could have a word with Tav, try and get them to change their mind? I think they’re beginning to trust me.”

“We both know that’s not going to help. I’m completely useless.”

Astarion had the decency not to agree with him out loud, but Gale could see he was thinking it.

“So, that person you mentioned on the cliffs. Cazador, was it?” asked Gale after a short while.

“My master. I thought he had sent you to come and find me.”

“You don’t think that might be worth mentioning to the group?”

“We’ve established this, Gale. What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

“Fine. I guess I can understand, even if I wouldn’t do the same.”

“Spend a few centuries in servitude to a sadistic piece of shit vampire and then you can talk to me about making good decisions.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s no matter. I am free and Cazador can’t control me thanks to the tadpole. 200 years without seeing the sun and here I am, unable to tell anyone except a boring old wizard.”

“Ouch.”

They could hear the footsteps of their companions returning.

“Thank you again, Gale.” Astarion’s expression was genuine.

---

Any hint of kindness that the vampire had shown was gone as soon as the group arrived in the clearing.

Tav gave a rundown of the information they had gathered. The goblins were part of a dangerous cult that worshipped “The Absolute”. They saw those infected with the tadpoles as some kind of chosen, “True Souls”.

Tav and the gang had managed to infiltrate the group, and learned that they were mounting an attack against the Druid’s Grove. Tomorrow Tav’s party would storm the Goblin Camp and rescue Halsin.

Although the Druid probably wouldn’t be able to remove the tadpoles, he was still their best lead of finding someone who could. Not to mention he would also ease the tension in the grove, hopefully allowing the refugees to stay.

Gale sat alone in his tent, listening to the laughs and chatter of the group as they passed around a bottle of wine. Tav hadn’t been able to meet his eye since they’d had their talk. He didn’t even bother coming out to eat, it wasn’t as if food did anything to relieve the feeling of hunger which at this point was almost unbearable.

Later in the evening, Shadowheart came to his tent to talk.

“Tav told me the news. I tried to talk to them, but… you know Tav.”

He didn’t feel like he did. “I understand. There’s not much use for a wizard with no magic, is there?”

“Look, there’s something else I need to tell you. About the artefact.”

“I already know.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry Gale. Truly.”

She can’t have been that sorry, she was the one with the artefact. She could just as easily tell Tav to fuck off. But he understood why she would choose the powerful Tiefling over him.

“I’d like to be alone now, I think,” he said, laying back down on his sleeping bag.

Shadowheart left without a word.

Notes:

This chapter is pretty short, oopsie. But we're back to regular old Gale.
Thank u everyone for the comments, ngl life is hard rn but it makes me smile every time :)

Chapter 6

Notes:

Cw: Gale-typical suicidal thinking

The next morning marked what was probably Gale’s last full day of being human.

The gang set off rather unceremoniously, leaving Gale and Astarion alone at camp, but he didn’t much feel like spending his final moments with someone who didn’t care if he lived or died. Instead he chose to spend it at the seaside, close to where he had been found.

Despite the burning ruins of the crashed Nautiloid scattered across the beach, it was a beautiful place. He sat down in the sand and stared out at the waves, thinking about the people back home who would never know his fate.

There weren’t that many, now that he thought about it. His mother, his cat Tara. His ex Mystra wouldn’t miss him, and probably neither would any of his colleagues- he had never really gotten close with any of them. The real Astarion back home would miss him as little as his vampire counterpart.

Sad as it was, he had made more connections here in just two days than he had in the last 10 years of his life, not that they would miss him much either.

Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that he was going to die. He could come down here to the sea and take the poison from Nettie- he knew for a fact that he didn’t want to be a mind flayer. It would be peaceful.

He spent the whole day on the beach, wandering up and down the shoreline. Crying, laughing to himself at old memories, trying to hold on to the few nice moments he had. By the time he made it back to camp, a huge party was underway. The mission had been a success.

Yay.

He got an update from a slightly drunk Shadowheart. As expected the Druid Halsin wasn't able to remove the tadpoles, oh and also the world was going to end if they didn’t go and fight the Absolute. Something about Wyll and a devil, blah blah blah, now he had a cool new pair of horns.

They had brought back a new companion, a quite literally fiery Tiefling woman named Karlach. She seemed perfectly lovely, but Gale couldn’t help but be bitter that she had so easily been accepted into their ranks. Why hadn’t he joined the fencing team instead of the chess club during school?

They were set to head off towards the Absolute the next morning without him, with a planned stop on the way to visit the crèche Lae’zel had been so insistent about. Even the Druid had been invited along for the ride. Gale stole a bottle of wine from one of the dancing Tiefling refugees who was too busy enjoying the festivities to notice, and went to sit by the campfire.

He saw as Astarion flirted with their leader, watching as they made an agreement to meet later that night once everyone had gone to their tents. Even Shadowheart was chatting up the new girl, marvelling at her frankly impressive muscles.

Gale tried not to think about his fate as he finished off the bottle of wine and crawled into his tent.

—

The next morning he woke up with a splitting headache. Nothing like a hangover for your last day on earth. He exited his tent to see everyone else had already packed. They were sitting around idly chatting, presumably waiting for him to join them so they could say goodbye.

Shadowheart had been the nicest, even shedding a few tears as she gave him a hug. Lae’zel and Wyll had both said a perfectly nice goodbye, guilt apparent on their faces. The Druid gave him Silvanus’s blessing, whoever that was, and Tav had given him a pat on the shoulder and pressed the bottle of poison from Nettie into his palm. “Thanks Gale,” they had said. You’re welcome. Astarion, probably trying to avoid having to show any feelings, had just given him a quick little wave and a wink.

And that was it, they were off.

Gale wasn’t sure how long it would be before he was no longer under the protection of the artefact, and even less sure how long until the ceremorphosis kicked in. He fingered the bottle in his pocket and decided he would head to the beach around midday.

He started packing his tent and sleeping bag, unsure even of why- it’s not like he would be needing it any more. It felt wrong somehow to just leave it there. Once he was done, he laid them next to a tree and prepared himself to leave.

Before he could, he heard the voices of his former companions coming through the trees. It wasn’t possible that they had forgotten something, the clearing was completely empty save for the items he had left.

But sure enough, Tav appeared through the treeline. They were accompanying a positively ancient old man with a long white beard. Now that was how a wizard should look. The rest of the group followed closely behind, looking slightly awkward to have to reunite with the man they had doomed so soon after the fact.

“Gale, do you know this man?” Asked Tav. “He was quite insistent upon seeing you.”

Gale obviously had never seen the man before but he nodded enthusiastically. “Of course! My old friend, how have you been?” He was far too curious to learn how anyone in this world knew who he was, and it wasn’t like he had anything to lose from the encounter. Tav relaxed, and allowed the two some privacy to speak.

“Gale of Waterdeep, do you truly recognise me?” asked the old man.

“I’m afraid not. I seem to have lost all of my memories,” he lied.

“I know that is not quite the case, it appears Mystra was correct.”

“Mystra?!” That was without a doubt, the last name he had expected to leave the old man’s mouth.

“Let me introduce myself. My name is Elminster, in another life we were close friends.”

“What is going on?”

“Something is seriously amiss in the balance of the universes, Gale. You were brought into this reality by chance, but in return the Gale that existed here has disappeared.”

“Disappeared? Has he taken my place back home?”

“It’s impossible to say. Not even Mystra herself can fully comprehend the consequences of this event.”

“Why are you talking about Mystra? In my reality, she was my ex-girlfriend. We did not end things on good terms, I must admit.”

“Quite ironic. Despite your lack of responsibility for the original Gale’s deed, the reason behind its consequences may not be so different.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“This was not a simple exchange of places. The Gale who existed here was the carrier of a powerful curse, one that has been transferred to you,” the wizard touched Gale’s chest, right where the tattoo had appeared.

“The mark? What does this have to do with anything?”

“Gale was a most powerful wizard, I mentored him myself. At a young age he caught the eye of the goddess of the weave, Mystra.”

“Mystra is a goddess in this universe?!” Gale scoffed. Somehow that was harder to believe than the fact that Gods were real here.

“Indeed she is. And she too, took Gale as her lover and her chosen. The foolish young man, empowered by his position, thought himself worthy of a place amongst the gods. It was this hunger for power that led to the curse.”

“How is that possible? Why did Gale want to become a god?” It felt strange to be talking about himself in third person this way.

“Gale always sought to achieve more than any other wizard before him. This led him to attempt a feat considered impossible by most- a plan that would have reunited Mystra with a lost piece of the weave. He hoped she would reward him with a place by her side.”

“But he failed?”

“Precisely. And in doing so he was infected by a powerful netherese orb, devouring any shred of magic it came across. The very same orb now sits in you, threatening to absorb your last remaining connection to the weave before it would ultimately destruct. A blast that would be so devastating, it would flatten an entire city.”

“So why didn’t Mystra help him?”

“Mostly pride, although choosing to help would have had its own consequences on the goddess. She stripped him of his title as her chosen, and Gale was left alone to deal with the problem he had caused.”

It didn’t sound all that different from the real life Mystra, if you changed all of the details.

“So how can I stop it from exploding?”

“That is the reason behind my visit, dear friend. Mystra has charged you with a holy mission. She will stabilise your orb, but in exchange you must use its power to destroy the Absolute.”

“How can I do that? I don’t know how to use magic, I’m not your Gale- I’m not even a wizard.”

“That is of no importance to your mission. Although the potential for great magical power now lies within you, the orb itself cannot be controlled by man. You must find your way to the heart of the Absolute and physically destroy it.”

“You mean I have to kill myself?”

“Precisely.” The elderly wizard’s face remained hard.

“How could Mystra ask that of one of her followers? If she’s a goddess in this world, why doesn’t she destroy the absolute herself?”

“I do not claim to understand the decisions of the gods, I am simply her messenger.”

“I’m not going to kill myself for her! I don’t even know her. You’ll have to find someone else.”

“There is no other person who can complete this task. Refusing would surely mean the loss of thousands of innocent lives.”

“I don’t even belong here! Can’t I swap back with the other Gale?”

“I’m afraid that’s impossible.”

“I can’t do it. It’s too much to ask.”

“Were you not about to drink the contents of the bottle in your pocket? Why not give your death a greater meaning?”

Gale hadn’t considered that. If he was going to die anyway, he might as well make something of his miserable life.

“Before I give my answer- why did you call me Gale of Waterdeep?”

“It is the title that Gale chose to go by.”

“That can’t be a coincidence. I gave that title as my fake name when I arrived here, I thought it was strange that nobody questioned Waterdeep as a place name.”

Elminster’s eyebrows shot up. “How curious. Perhaps there is more connection between you and the real Gale than previously imagined. Under less dire circumstances it would be worth studying.”

“You knew him well. ‘Real’ Gale- magic Gale. What do you think he would have answered?”

“Gale always valued the lives of others over his own. He would have accepted this mission to serve his goddess and the greater good.”

“I see. Well, I don’t serve Mystra and I certainly don’t plan to start, but I will accept this mission.”

“Mystra will be most pleased. Thank you for your hospitality, I do enjoy a nice bit of cheese.”

The wizard disappeared in a cloud of smoke. What the fuck had just happened?

Notes:

Hey, sorry for the lack of updates recently. I got a new job and turns out hard physical labor + POTs = bad time and no energy. I'm using my day off to queue up as many chapters as I can so hopefully I can keep up with weekly posts :)

Chapter 7

Notes:

Cw: Mystra, mentions of sexual coercion and grooming

Gale recounted his conversation with Elminster to the group of shocked-looking adventurers, omitting the parts about the other universe of course.

“My, my Gale. Who would have thought that you of all people had bedded a goddess.” said Astarion, looking impressed.

“This changes things,” said Tav. “You may join us on our quest to defeat the Absolute, this could be just what we need to get an advantage.”

“Oh, so now I’m worthy of joining your little gang because you can use me as a weapon?”

“If that’s how you choose to see it, yes.” The Tiefling’s expression remained hard.

“I’ll come along. But not because of you- I don’t want to become an Illithid before I can reach the Absolute and I doubt I can do that on my own.”

“Just as long as when the time comes, you’re ready.”

“Good to know where I stand.”

“Well I’m glad to have you back, Gale.” said Shadowheart, trying to break the tension.

“Me too, it was an awful shame leaving you behind like that” said Wyll. He barely even knew the man.

There was a chorus of agreement from the others, but it felt empty after they had left him to die not hours before.

“Let’s head off. We lost a lot of time on this,” said Tav, heaving up their pack.

The party followed suit, Gale included. It seemed packing his tent had been useful after all. As they set off, Gale couldn’t help but linger toward the back of the convoy. He didn’t feel particularly excited to be there, even if it did mean he got a few more days of living out of it. His chest had stopped hurting, so at least there was that.

Astarion fell back to talk to him. “Just look at us,” he whispered, “The whore and the bomb. Love and destruction, rather poetic don’t you think?”

“I don’t recall having much choice in the matter,” said Gale bitterly, “but you seemed perfectly fine to spread your legs while I was left to become a mind flayer.”

“That hurts, Gale. I did offer to speak with Tav for you, if you remember. It’s not my fault the only useful thing you can do is die.”

“I suppose that’s true.”

“Yeesh, you really do know how to kill the mood- when it comes to brooding you’re worse than Shadowheart. This was supposed to be an offer of friendship, but I’ll leave you alone to your little pity party if that’s what you want.”

“You were content with doing that before.”

“Yes but it was rather sad to watch. Do let me know if you decide to enjoy yourself in your last days of existence. I’ve been told I know how to have a good time”. Astarion walked off to join the others, leaving Gale alone as promised.

He wondered what the vampire's idea of a good time entailed. Probably hedonistic orgies and blood flowing like wine, not exactly things he could imagine himself enjoying. Although… what was to say he wouldn’t? It wasn’t as if he had ever tried.

Blood for sure not, but sex? Aside from a few awkward encounters in his youth he had only ever been with Mystra.

She had been his university professor. Gale had graduated from high school at just 16 due to his gifted intellect, and started a degree in physics at age 17. She had taken to him immediately, promising him a place among the great minds of the science world.

At 18, she had consummated the relationship. He had worked hard, dedicating himself to achieve the greatness he believed she saw in him. First his degree with honours, then his masters, then his doctorate.

On the day of his graduation he got down on one knee in front of the entire science department. She had been horrified. As it turns out, he hadn’t even been the only one of her students she was sleeping with.

Not wanting people asking questions of when and how their relationship started, she had threatened to ruin his reputation unless he publicly stated that there was nothing going on between them and the proposal had been completely one sided.

Gale had reluctantly agreed. But he had lost his passion for science, choosing instead to take a job in the library- a place that had always felt safe for him. He was 25 at the time. Now he was nearing 32, and he had never quite trusted himself to start another relationship.

Maybe it was time to give meaningless sex a try. But with whom? It wasn’t as if any of their companions were options. Maybe they would be lucky enough to run into another attractive stranger on the way who would be charmed by his intellect, but he certainly wouldn’t count on it considering it hadn’t happened in the last 7 years.

He definitely wasn’t interested in paying for sex and there were only a few days left in their journey, so where did that leave him? Exactly back where he had started, totally alone and about to blow himself up. How depressing.

How had it taken being yeeted into a fantasy alternate universe for him to realise how fucking sad his life had been? It was so ridiculous that Gale laughed out loud, catching the attention of some of the group members who gave each other concerned looks.

Gale didn’t care. What were the opinions of a few strangers that would leave him to die? Maybe Astarion was right. He would enjoy himself for these few days, and he would do it his own way. Fuck what anyone else thought, they could complain at his funeral. He felt lighter after this realisation. He was going to have some fun.

—

They had set up camp in a beautiful valley overlooking a monastery, apparently the site of the Githyanki crèche. Most of the group had set off to explore, leaving him and Astarion to once again guard the camp.

The first thing Gale did was walk over to Tav’s supply chest. He knew the thing was practically overflowing with magic scrolls. If Gale had this supposed great magic power, he wanted to be able to use it.

The chest was locked. He struggled around with the lid for a while but it was particularly sturdy.

“Need a hand with that?” came Astarion’s voice from behind him.

“If you’re going to tell Tav I don’t care. If they’re mad they can kick me out again”

“Calm down! Did I not just offer you my help, wizard? You’re going to break it, let me try.”

The vampire pushed him aside and pulled a lock pick from a pouch on his belt. “Watch and learn”. The lock clicked open with ease after a few seconds of manipulation.

“Can you teach me how to do that?”

“I could, but I can’t imagine you’d be very good at it with those chubby fingers of yours.” Astarion started rummaging through the box.

“I’m a very healthy weight I’ll have you know!”

The vampire had found whatever it was he was looking for. He handed Gale a scroll. “This should be more your style.”

Gale unrolled the parchment. “Knock” was written at the top, It was a spell that could open any non magical lock. There were several lines of information about how to cast it underneath, but Gale had no idea what any of them meant. What was component “V”?

Gale obviously looked confused because the vampire sighed in exasperation “don’t tell me you’ve forgotten how to even use a simple scroll.”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Even a lobotomised kobald could use one of these. Look here: the only component of this spell is verbal. You just have to hold the scroll and repeat the phrase written at the bottom.”

Gale took back the scroll.

“But you’re a wizard.” Continued Astarion “You don’t need the scroll to cast the spell, it would be a complete waste. You just write it down in your little magic book and you can use it any time you like.”

“My spell book? I, uh, lost it.” He tried to call on his knowledge from the fantasy genre.

“You lost a wizard's most valuable item.” Astarion said with an incredulous look.

“Right. And I’m sure you had all of your important belongings with you when you got abducted by Illithids."

“I see your point. I’m sure we can use one of the books in here, I doubt it will be missed.” Astarion started rummaging through the chest again until he found a book that was mostly empty. He tore out the pages with writing on them and threw them in the fire before passing the remaining book to Gale.

“You don’t have a pen, do you?” asked Gale.

“Do I need to do everything around here?” The vampire pulled a quill and inkpot from his pouch. “Is there anything else I can get you? A snack, perhaps”

Gale started carefully copying the contents of the scroll onto the page of the book.

“Why do I have to write this one in the book, but I can cast the fire one without anything?”

“Because Fire Bolt is a cantrip, you idiot, not a spell. You can do those ones in your head if you memorise them. Even I can cast Fire Bolt at will.”

Gale didn’t bother asking what the difference was between a cantrip and a spell, it would only invite more verbal harassment.

“Ok, I’m done. I want to try it out.”

“How about Shadowheart’s chest? That girl has a lot of secrets.”

“I don’t know. She’s nice to me. I wouldn’t want to break her trust.” said Gale, although he had to admit he was curious as well.

“Your loss. Lae’zel?”

“Why not.” he tried not to think of how the Githyanki would react if she knew what they were up to.

Gale walked over to Lae’zel’s chest and read out the words he had copied. “Objectum Recludo”.
There was a deafeningly loud sound of a knock that echoed down through the valley and both of them jumped back.

“Hells, you’ve probably alerted half the valley with that!” Astarion grimaced.

“Oh, shit” said Gale “do you think they’ll come back?”

“I hope not. It’s probably best we stick to lock picks from now on, though.”

They opened the chest. It was mostly a bunch of weird circular discs with writing on them that he couldn’t recognise. There were also a few weapons and pieces of armour. Pretty boring.

Gale decided to go back to Tav’s chest and see what other scrolls were there. A lot of them were to be expected, “Charm Person”, “Fire Ball”, “Remove Curse”. But there were some that were straight up ridiculous. “Tasha’s Hideous Laughter”, “Eyebite”, “Mage Hand”.

He copied down as many as he could. Some of them were difficult though, as if they didn’t want to be copied.

“Hmm, those ones might be too advanced for you. Best stick to the basics for now.” said Astarion, who had been watching Gale casually

“Why are you helping me?”

“While this is just another day at camp for me, I can recognise that this must be the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done Gale. Well, aside from fucking a goddess. Who am I to stand in the way of your personal development?”

“You were right though. I have led an awfully boring life.” said Gale. “I don’t want to let my ex and a sociopath who keeps me as their personal nuclear detonator prevent me from enjoying the last days I have”

“I like your funny words, Magic Man. Let’s fuck some shit up.”

“Aren’t you worried what Tav will think?”

“Tav doesn’t need to know.”

“But don’t you care about them?”

“I’m aware of my role here. I’m a very pretty distraction, but care is not a factor in our arrangement.”

“I’m sorry to hear that” said Gale, genuinely.

“Oh, I’m used to it. Cazador was well aware of the effect I have on people, I was often used as bait for his next meal.”

“That’s… awful. I’m sorry you had to go through that, Astarion.”

“I didn’t ask for your sympathy” snapped the vampire. “Once I’ve gotten this tadpole out of my head or found a way to control it, I’ll be out of here.”

“Control it? Do you think that’s possible?”

“I have no idea. But the tadpole is the reason I’m not burnt to a crisp in the sun right now, and the reason Cazador isn’t in my head. So I’m very open to trying.”

Gale wished he had the knowledge of this universe’s version of himself. Gale was intelligent for sure, but he wouldn’t know the first place to start when it came to magic and mind flayer parasites.

“I hope you can find a way,” he said lamely.

“It’s either that or killing him. I’m not going back to how things were.”

“If I can remember how to use these spells, I’ll gladly help in any way I can.”

“Thank you. I doubt Tav will be signing up to help me once this is over. They avoid emotions like I avoid garlic.”

“I never did get the impression that they were the emotional type”

“You should have seen the look on their face when they first saw the scars Cazador gave me. They did ask, just to be polite but I could tell they didn’t want to talk about it.”

Gale didn’t really know how to respond, considering any show of sympathy seemed to only piss the other man off.

Astarion continued to speak. “They asked me if it was written in Infernal. I’ve never seen the damn thing, have I? Can’t exactly look in a mirror. So I had to come up with some story on the spot about a hookup with a demon gone wrong. Didn’t stop them wanting to fuck me though.”

Gale wondered what scars the vampire was talking about. “Are you okay? Is Tav pressuring you to do things?”

“Not directly. It’s hardly Tav’s fault that I threw myself at them. But while it may have been my decision to start our little affair, it’s not exactly like I have a choice any more- I don’t want to be the next you.”

Gale didn’t know what to say to that. He knew how it felt to be in that situation, it wasn’t pleasant. Mystra had never directly pressured him, but he had never felt like there was an option to say no. He regretted his harsh choice of words when Astarion had spoken to him the day before.

“Well, if you ever need an out just say the word and I can pretend I’m at risk of exploding and you’re the only one who can help” said Gale eventually.

Astarion burst out laughing “Nobody’s going to believe that.”

“Do you really think they’ll risk being wrong?” said Gale with a grin.

“No, I suppose they won’t.”

They could hear the distant sounds of the group on the way back.

“We’d better clean this up before they get back,” said Gale, struggling to his feet and gathering up some of the scrolls that had been left scattered around near the chest.

Chapter 8: Interlude

“Don’t forget, Mr. Dekarios. Once in the morning and once at night.”

“Of course, I’ll remember.”

“You’ve got two months of sick leave, please use this time to relax. And if there’s any sign of delusional thinking, you can call us here or check yourself in through urgent care.”

“Thank you Dr. Silverbough. I will.”

“Perfect. Then here are your release papers and a new prescription. Take care of yourself, Mr. Dekarios.” The surprisingly large doctor handed Gale the pile of papers and shook his hand.

The past few days had been rough to say the least, but at least he had a clearer picture of the situation he had found himself in.

He learned very quickly that there was no magic in this universe, or at least nothing that was recognised as such by its inhabitants. Curiously enough, the concept did seem to exist in the form of fictional literature.There were also no other sapient species than humans. Elves, dwarves, dragons- all were considered to be fantasy.

“Acute stress induced psychosis” had been the official diagnosis. They had given him a series of pills that were supposed to help, but after trying one of them he found they only made him sleepy, so he had taken to hiding them under his tongue and spitting them down the toilet.

Gale had been fast to catch on to what was considered acceptable in this universe, quickly earning the trust of the medical staff. That, along with his mother’s insistence had convinced them to release him after only a few short days- under the condition that he would use the time off to relax and that there was someone who would keep an eye on him.

What he hadn’t expected was the profound sense of hopelessness and loss that had accompanied the new information. How could he possibly hope to find his way back home without the use of any magic?

Magic was his whole life. Every single moment since he was a child had been dedicated to its study. The weave was all he knew. Gale felt as if he were missing a limb, or even one of his senses. He would have preferred losing his sight or hearing, had he had the choice.

His mother was waiting in the lobby of the hospital when he left. She drew him in for a tight hug, her curly brown hair tickling the bottom of his chin.

“Oh my darling boy. Thank god you’re out of there.”

This universe’s Morena Dekarios was identical to his own in many ways. Fiercely protective, stubborn as hell and overly doting. She took him by the hand. “Now let’s get out of here.”

His mother had called a “Taxi”, who drove them back to his apartment.

“Now, which of your friends will be able to come and check on you?” she asked as they arrived.

“What? I thought you would be staying with me.”

“Oh, love. The book tour starts on Monday, of course I will stay if you need me but you do know how important this is for me.”

In this world, his mother was quite a renowned chef. She had recently released a book of her recipes which apparently meant she had to travel the country and present it to people.

“I’m still suffering from some memory loss, I’m afraid I don’t remember if I have someone I can ask.” He felt a surge of guilt.

“You wouldn’t be in this situation if you put yourself out there, dear. You can’t stay caught up in that Mystra forever.”

Mystra had also managed to leave him heartbroken in this universe. Luckily he had managed to avoid meeting her counterpart so far.

“How about that neighbor of yours, Astarion? He seemed like a nice boy.”

“I highly doubt Astarion would agree to such a thing. He’s a very busy man.”

“Well, I still have to deliver these thank you brownies I baked him. It’s worth asking. Why don’t you come along, dear?”

“I suppose it can’t hurt.”

Acutely aware that his mother wouldn’t let the issue drop, the least he could do was try and give her an opportunity to go on tour.

—

“Hello darling- oh. It’s you.” Astarion had clearly been expecting somebody else when he answered the door. “No longer crazy, I take it?”

“Well about that-“ started Gale, before his mother barged through the door to wrap the startled man in a hug.

“Astarion, dear. I can’t thank you enough for looking after my Gale.“ She crooned.

Astarion raised his eyebrows at Gale over her shoulder. “Why, Gale. You didn’t tell me you had a sister.”

Morena pulled back and gave him a little slap on the shoulder. “You flatterer. I’ve baked you some brownies from my new cookbook as a little gift.”

She pulled the box of sweets from her bag and handed it to him.

“You shouldn’t have, Ms. Dekarios.”

“Please, call me Morena.”

“Well, Morena these do look absolutely delectable but I’m afraid I am awaiting company.”

“Of course! I’m sure a handsome young man like you must be very popular. We’ll be out of your hair, but I did have one tiny favour to ask.”

Astarion forced a smile onto his face. “Of course.”

“Gale was released under the condition that someone keeps an eye on him. I would do it myself but my book tour starts next week you see, and it would be such a shame to have to cancel it.”

His neighbor's face twitched. “I’m so sorry, darling. As much as it pains me to decline such a beautiful woman’s request, I simply don’t have the time.”

“It would only be one quick visit each day to make sure he’s managing, just five minutes. You seem like such a responsible man, and I will pay you for the inconvenience, of course.”

Gale didn’t know whether to be impressed or appalled by the manipulation attempts from both parties.

“Mother, he said no.”

“You’re right my dear. It’s a shame, I would have paid well above standard rates for someone who clearly cares about my boy.” she gave an exaggerated sigh.

“Mother-“

“Well, when you put it like that, how could I possibly say no to helping my dear friend? Consider it a deal, Morena my dear.” Astarion took her hand and gave it a small kiss.

“See, Gale? You do have people who care about you. Maybe you can ask Astarion if he has any single friends…”

“Mother!”

—

Gale had spent most of his stay at the hospital quietly observing the curiosities of this universe.

He had noted one fantastical piece of equipment in particular- the “computer”. One could use it to access a vast wealth of knowledge, perfect for researching a way for him to get home. And it was just Gale’s luck that he had a computer of his own in the apartment.

It had taken a while to get the hang of things, clearly the doctors had years worth of experience operating such complex devices, but for the most part it was pretty intuitive. There was a controller similar to a planchette which allowed one to navigate within the image, and each button on the tablet corresponded with a letter of the alphabet.

He could transcribe questions into the device and receive innumerable results within seconds. A true marvel of technology, his mind was already racing with ideas for how he might recreate a rudimentary version in his home world.

But he couldn’t get ahead of himself- there was research to do. He started by inputting “alternate universe theory”.

Gale was overwhelmed with the amount of information available- each article he read exponentially leading to more questions. Quantum Physics, waves and particles, string theory- each it’s own infinitely complex realm of knowledge. He was clearly far out of his depth.

Although he could easily imagine himself spending a lifetime delving into this vast new collection of knowledge, if he actually wanted to get back to his home he would have better luck talking to an expert. The biggest hurdle would be finding a way to convince someone that he had actually swapped universes and wasn’t just a crazy person- a task that was beginning to seem almost impossible. As far as he could understand, while some had proposed the ideas of alternate realities being real, it was widely considered to be purely theoretical.

Gale was suddenly hit with a wave of loneliness. Would this truly be the rest of his existence? Stuck in a world where nobody would ever understand or believe him. Privately mourning a reality considered too fantastical to ever share.

He was startled out of this train of thought by a knock at the door.

—

“Still remember you’re not a wizard?”

“Yes.”

“Fantastic, see you tomorrow.”

This had been the full extent of Gale’s interactions with Astarion the past few days. He couldn’t really complain, it’s not as if he found himself particularly inclined to want to spend time with the man, but unfortunately today he was in need of some help.

“Wait, Astarion.”

“What?” He snapped. “I’m not going to wipe your arse for you, if that’s what you were going to ask. But I could be convinced to wear a nurse costume if you want to pay me a little extra.”

“What? No! It’s just… Do you happen to know where I keep my money? I’m running low on cat food.”

“What do I look like, the bank? Don’t you have a wallet somewhere?”

“Well, yes, but it only has some cards and paper in it.”

Astarion gave an exasperated sigh. “Let me take a look.”

Gale handed him the wallet, which Astarion proceeded to open and flip through.

“You have plenty of money in here Gale.”

“Oh. Right.”

Gale mustn’t have been very convincing, because the man rolled his eyes and pulled out one of the slips of paper.

“This is money.” He said in a mockingly patronising voice. “You can use it to buy things.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“And this is your credit card. You put it in the ATM and press the buttons, then money appears. Just like magic.”

“What’s an ATM?”

“Gale, this memory loss thing is getting awfully tedious.”

“Right. Because I chose to go through this for the express purpose of inconveniencing you.”

“It’s not my fault you don’t have any actual friends to look after you.”

“So you were lying to my mother when you said we were friends?”

“Golly, what gave you that impression? Yes, I was bloody lying. We weren’t exactly on the best of terms before all this.”

Gale had to admit he was curious about what had happened between the other him and Astarion, but decided it would probably be for the best if he didn’t ask. The last thing he needed was to turn the only person he could go to for help against him.

“Well, as of right now, you’ve been more or less kind to me- even if you are kind of an asshole. Whatever happened between us, can’t we just look past that? A fresh start, so to speak.”

“Fine. I’ll show you how to use the goddamn ATM- but I do expect overtime pay for this.”

“Overtime?! You’ve checked on me for barely more than 30 seconds the past few days.”

“Do you want your money or not?”

“Fine. I’ll let mother know.”

—

After several frustrating attempts and a tense phone call with the bank, they were finally able to access Gale’s money and he summoned £100 from the machine. Despite paper money not seeming particularly secure, it was a lot more convenient than having to carry around heavy pouches of gold, although he still wasn't sure why the symbol for pounds looked like an L.

They then stopped at a shop called “Lidl”, Gale hadn’t really expected Astarion to join him but the man claimed he needed to go shopping anyway.

The shops in this world were a sensory overwhelm of bright white lights, colourful signs and loud music. He purchased some bread and vegetables for himself along with a few cuts of meat, and for Tara he got some cat food in a bright pink tin. Everything in the store was plastered with self indulgent branding, each item trying to be more eye-catching than the next. He could feel a headache coming on.

Astarion grabbed a few assorted packages of “ramen”, some bottles of ale, “Durex” and a small box that read “Marlboro”. Gale didn’t bother asking what any of it was, he knew it would only serve to annoy the other man.

—

“What is it that you do for work?” Asked Gale on the drive home.

“Hah. I hardly know myself. On paper I’m a model.”

“And in reality…?”

“In reality it’s really none of your business.”

“Sorry. It’s just, you always seem so tense when it comes to your job.”

“Well. Not all of us have a cushy job at the library where we get a fun little paid vacation for a mental breakdown. I wish I could fucking forget everything in my life.”

Gale didn’t respond. That was likely intended to be hurtful, and probably would have been, had his cover story actually been true.

“Sorry.” Said Astarion quietly. “My boss is an asshole. It’s… stressful.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

They spent the rest of the drive in silence.

—

After feeding Tara, Gale went back to the computer. Thinking about the other version of himself had piqued his interest- he typed his own name into the search bar.

The first result was from the website of the library where the other Gale worked. It was simply a list of employees, none of the names he recognised aside from “Greg”- his manager.

The next result was a research paper the other Gale had apparently written titled "Entropy Reversal Hypothesis in Closed Quantum Systems", which may as well have been in ancient draconic given how little he understood. He did note the paper had been co-authored by Mystra; a short search revealed that she was the head of the Physics department at the local University.

So other Gale had studied physics? If only he had access to that version of himself’s wealth of knowledge. Could it even be possible that the switch was a result of some kind of experiment the other Gale had attempted? That didn’t make sense- other Gale worked in a library. Why was that, if he had studied physics?

So many open questions and practically zero answers. If he could talk to someone from the university, someone who knew him well, perhaps they would give him the benefit of the doubt. That or he would be sent back for another stint in the psych ward.

It would probably make sense for him to read through some of the older journals and look for any mentions of a trustworthy ex colleague, but that could wait for tomorrow. It had been an overwhelming day and he could feel the fatigue threatening to take over.

Chapter 9

The group returned from their expedition looking worse for wear. Gale and Astarion were updated on what the party had found during the day. The monastery had been overrun with various magical beasts which they managed to clear out, but it was proving difficult to find a way into the crèche itself. Tomorrow they would try again.

At least they had brought back some semi decent wine, which Gale gladly poured himself a glass of. Astarion was back to ignoring him, but Gale decided to stick around for dinner this time anyway. Karlach came over and sat down next to him.

“Hey, soldier,” she said with a smile. It was still kind of jarring to hear her cockney accent in this fantasy environment. “We haven’t really had a chance to chat have we?”

“No, Tav’s been keeping you all quite busy.”

“Listen, Shadowheart told me about what happened before I joined. I gotta say mate, it’s proper fucked.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

“I know how it feels to be used as a weapon. Zariel had me fighting on the front lines, that’s how I got this piece of junk in my chest. I don’t know how much you’ve heard.”

“Actually, nothing at all. I can’t say I’m familiar with Zariel.”

“Gods, I wish that were me. Shaddy mentioned you were missing some memories.”Gale couldn’t imagine Shadowheart being too fond of that nickname.

Karlach continued. “Well Zariel is the queen bitch of the hells, there’s been a war waging there for years now. You’ve probably noticed my little flame problem? She implanted a piece of infernal machinery where my heart should be- doesn’t seem to be suited for upstairs.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, it sounds painful.”

“I manage. Would be nice to be able to enjoy myself up here though” she said, casting a longing glance at Shadowheart. “My point is- I can’t get a good read on Tav. They certainly have done some good, what with the grove and all. And taking down the Absolute is obviously important…”

“But?”

“But I don’t like the way they treat people all disposable like. What makes them so qualified to be the leader anyways?”

“Nobody else seems to be complaining.”

“Well not complaining about things never did anybody much good. I haven’t got an answer, but if somebody presented an alternative I’d have their back.”

Gale took a second to process. “It sounds like you’re suggesting a coup. Might not be the smartest choice when the fate of the world is on the line.”

“I might be the muscle rather than the brains of this operation but it certainly sounds better than blowing yourself up.”

“What’s one useless wizard's life in the scheme of things?”

“Nah, fuck that. What’s one morally grey asshole's life? I’ve met enough to know there’s not exactly a shortage. You’re a good person Gale, we need more of those.”

“Not good enough it seems.”

“You’re still alive, mate. You’ve got a big brain- use it. And let me know if you need any muscle to go along with it.”

“Thank you, Karlach.”

“No problem, soldier. Now I’m gonna go back to pining if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.”

Karlach gave him a slap on the shoulder before going back to flirting with Shadowheart, leaving Gale to go back to his tent and think about the conversation.

---

For the hundredth time since his meeting with Elminster, Gale wished he was the powerful wizard that had existed in this realm. Maybe that Gale would have an answer. Elminster had mentioned there might be a connection with the other Gale, could it be possible to find a way to contact him?

He wished he could talk to Tara right now. Obviously she couldn’t respond, but it had always helped him to be able to let all of his problems out to his furry companion. He closed his eyes, trying not to cry as he imagined her cute little face.

There was a sensation growing within him- the feeling he had begun to associate with the weave. As if by instinct he started moving his hands in a circular motion, and without even thinking he spoke out loud “meo gremio inanis est”.

“Meow”

Gale opened his eyes.

“Tara?” He couldn’t believe it. There she was, he had summoned her with a spell he didn’t even know existed.

Tara started meowing incessantly. Only actually, it wasn’t Tara. The creature looked like her, with long tortoiseshell fur and big green eyes. But this version of Tara was sporting a large pair of wings on her back.

He held out his hand to her, hoping she might recognise him. “It’s okay Tara, I’m a friend. At least I hope your name is still Tara.”

This only served to annoy her further as she gave him a quick hiss and batted his hand before going back to meowing with even greater urgency.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s me, Gale. Well- sort of.”

She let out a louder hiss, arching her back and puffing out her fur, before bolting out of the tent. Gale rushed out after her, but it was too late- she had already vanished into the dark treeline.

That had certainly not gone ideally. Gale snuck over to one of the crates that contained their provisions, and found a few pieces of preserved fish. He laid them on a small dish which he proceeded to place in front of his tent, hopefully once she had calmed down she would find her way back.

He wasn’t sure if he could cast the spell again, he hadn’t been thinking- the words had just spilled out. Hoping he hadn’t messed up his only chance to be joined by his faithful companion in this existence, Gale went to bed.

---

Gale’s dream was unusually vivid that night. He was on a space rock, watching a battle unfold between dozens of Githyanki and weird little brains with legs. A stranger wearing a suit of armour came to speak with him. He was an older man with an air of authority, much like an army general.

“This is the Astral Plane. The battle you see before you is the responsibility of the Absolute.”

“Who are you?”

“I have been in contact with your leader for a while now. I am the one who has been protecting their group from ceremorphosis”

“How? Why?”

The stranger ignored his questions and continued to speak. “It is also I who urged Tav to leave you behind. I am aware of your situation, Gale. You do not belong here.”

“Why would you ask them to leave me? Did you tell them about me?”

“It was a tactical decision- your lack of knowledge and the resulting impending danger of your orb posed a threat to this mission. As was my decision not to inform Tav of your origins. Such complications would only serve as a distraction.”

“And let me guess, now that I’m able to control the orb you want me to use it to destroy the Absolute? Yeah. I’ve heard that one.”

“I am aware of your conversation with Karlach. I must urge you not to take action- there are thousands of lives at stake.”

“And what of my life? Don’t I have the right to look for another way?”

“I have already considered other alternatives. This is our best shot at defeating the Absolute. If you choose to go forward with your plan, I will be forced to take action.”

“So if I don’t kill myself you’ll kill me first? Wow, great set of choices.”

“I trust you’ll make the right one. I must go, I’m needed on the battlefield.”

---

“Good morning, my dear. I see you got peckish during the night?”

Astarion gestured at the untouched plate of fish in front of Gale’s tent. Tara hadn’t returned.

“That? Uh, no. I just thought I saw a stray cat, I didn’t want it to starve.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t a Gremishka? I heard the monastery was full of them- awful things.”

“No, it was just a normal cat. Did Tav ever tell you about someone talking to them in their dreams?”

“Ah, so you finally got a visit from the dream daddy.”

“So you’ve seen him too?”

“I think most of us have at this point. Such a pleasant fellow. What did he want to talk about?”

Gale wasn’t sure it was wise to share with Astarion the conversation he had with Karlach. The vampire may not have been Tav’s biggest fan, but it was clear most of his actions stemmed from self-preservation. Who knew what he would do if things got dire.

“He told me that he was the one who told Tav to kick me out. And he reinforced that I will need to use the orb against the Absolute.”

“So it wasn’t Tav’s decision to leave you behind?”

“It wasn’t Tav’s idea, but they certainly had no issue going along with it. What did he talk to you about when he visited you?”

“Hmm let’s see… he told me that he knew about my little affliction, and that the only reason he was letting me stay was because of Tav’s attachment to me.”

“Wow. This guy really means business, then.”

“Yes. As I said, a real charmer. But I’m afraid it may all be for naught- Tav has started to notice my lack of appetite. It might not be long before they put two and two together.”

“What would happen if you just ate the food?”

“I did try it recently, since the parasite took away so many of my other symptoms. But unfortunately it still just turns to ash in my mouth- almost impossible to force myself to swallow, let alone pretend to enjoy it.”

“That is rather a conundrum. Maybe there’s another-“

They were interrupted by a blur of grey and orange fur swooping down from the sky and landing in front of them, startling them both.

“Well hello there, who are you?” asked Astarion after he had collected himself, leaning down to give Tara a pet. She obliged, clearly enjoying the attention. That little- why was she letting that jerk pet her and not Gale?

“That’s the cat I was talking about.”

“Gale, this is obviously a Tressym, not a cat.” Tara purred in agreement. “What have you got there?” The vampire asked, noticing she was carrying something in her mouth.

It looked like a perfume bottle that his mother would own, small and green with a golden lid shaped like the head of a stag.

“A potion of animal speaking? It seems she’s taken a shine to you, Gale.”

Astarion took the potion and handed it to Gale, all the while continuing to pet Tara right behind her wings. Gale tried to ignore his feelings of betrayal as he uncorked the bottle and drank it.

It was bitter and herbal, but not too bad. He wondered if he was supposed to feel anything.

“Oh yes, right there,” came a woman’s voice. Tara’s voice. It had worked.

“Tara? Can you understand me?”

Her eyes locked on him in anger and she walked toward him, leaving Astarion’s comfortable scritches behind.

“Who are you, and what the hells have you done with Mr. Dekarios?” she demanded, hair raised and claws at the ready.

“It is me! I’m just-“ Gale looked up at Astarion, who was watching in amusement. He guessed the vampire couldn’t understand Tara, but he had no idea if he could still understand Gale.

“Do you think we could talk about this somewhere private?”

“What? So you can abduct me as well? Steal my body? Absolutely not. You have 30 seconds to tell me where Mr. Dekarios is before I blast you into the Astral Plane”.

Shit. He wasn’t sure how exactly the fluffy little creature was going to “blast him”, but he had seen enough in the past few days to take the threat seriously.

“Okay! I am Gale Dekarios, just not… your Gale. There was some kind of transfer between universes- I was abducted by Mind Flayers. I don’t understand much of it, okay? We don’t have any of this stuff where I come from. Magic or vampires or Nautiloids”

From the look on Astarion’s face, it was clear that he absolutely could understand what Gale was saying. Double shit.

Notes:

U know Karlach would be a powerful union butch irl

Chapter 10

“What kind of idiot do you think I am?” Tara hissed. “You’ve summoned me to murder me and cover your tracks, you know I’m the only one who would notice Mr. Dekarios’ absence.”

Oof. So not even being a powerful wizard and the chosen of a goddess could make him any friends.

“I swear it’s true! I was visited by Elminster yesterday, he tried to explain it to me. Mystra figured it out- although in my universe Mystra isn’t a goddess she’s just a very mean woman.”

At this point he was rambling, trying to find anything that would prove his innocence. “I also have a Tara back home, she doesn’t have wings, though. I was missing her very much when I summoned you by accident.”

“Prove to me that what you’re saying is true.”

“I have no idea how to do that- um, I swear on my mother, Morena Dekarios, that I am telling the truth”

“I was talking about a Zone of Truth spell, but anyone crazy enough to swear on Mrs. Dekarios must be telling the truth.”

He was glad to hear that this universe’s Morena Dekarios was just as formidable as the one back home. Tara still looked at him with suspicion, but her fur returned to normal and her claws retracted.

“So where is my Mr. Dekarios, then?”

“It’s probably best I tell you the whole story”

Gale explained everything that had happened from the point he was abducted until now, including all the details of his conversation with Elminster. Astarion was listening very intently, his expression impossible to read. Once he was finished, Tara considered for a moment.

“This is all very unusual. You must not destroy your body in this universe before I find a way to retrieve Mr. Dekarios. If what you say about the balance of realities is true, your death may mean he can never return.”

“It would also mean I would die! So I’m not exactly excited to do it. Plus I wouldn’t mind going back to my own universe, Magic Gale can deal with his own problems.”

“Oh believe me, Gale Dekarios would not be dealing with his own problems. I’m the one who has to do everything around here.”

“Elminster seemed sure that the other Gale would choose to destroy the orb anyway, for Mystra”

“Mystra” she hissed. “I’ve always despised that woman. But Elminster was probably right. Mr. Dekarios would have almost certainly chosen to follow her orders, which once again would leave me to do all the work in finding another solution”

“So you think there could be a solution then? Or a way to swap us back?”

“I’ll need to do some research. It’s probably a few days flight to get back to Waterdeep. Then who knows how long until I find an answer to this mess.”

“We don’t have a few days. Once we reach the Absolute, if I don’t destroy the orb I’ll be left to turn into a mind flayer.”

“Nothing can ever be simple, can it? Very well, I’ll see what I can do from here. There isn’t a library in this rural valley, is there?”

“I’m afraid not. Please don’t tell the others here about my situation. Their leader is… complicated. I fear they would leave me here if they were to find out.”

“Unless any of your friends know Tressymspeak I won’t be doing much talking with anyone.”

Gale had almost forgotten he had taken the potion to be able to speak with her.

“Right. How long does this potion last?”

“Another couple of hours. We’ll have to find a way to source more of them, if you don’t know how to cast spells.”

“I can see if we have a scroll here. Maybe I can transcribe it into this book.”

“That’s your spellbook? How the mighty have fallen.”

“I haven’t exactly seen any fancy stationery stores around here. I had to make do.”

Gale made his way over to the chest. It was still locked and he didn’t feel like risking it again with the spell after it had been so loud last time. He would have to ask Astarion, who still hadn’t said anything since learning his true identity.

“Um, Astarion. Do you think you might be able to unlock this?”

“Sure. Anything for my dear friend who hasn’t been hiding anything important from me.”

“Says the man who hasn’t told anyone he’s a vampire. I think I’m the last person you would have actually chosen to tell, aside from Tav.”

Astarion unlocked the chest. “Fair point. I do have a lot of questions, though. First of all- what the fuck?”

“It’s a question I ask myself every day” said Gale, starting to rummage through the scrolls.

“This is all making so much sense now. I was beginning to wonder how a man dumber than a mud mephit could be considered a prolific enough wizard to bang a god.”

“I’m actually considered very intelligent back in my world. Just in a different field- although physics is its own kind of magic, I suppose.”

“Right, I’m sure that’s true. But If there is no magic in your world how did you figure it out then? That I’m a vampire?”

“We have books about this stuff, but it’s all fantasy. Vampires are considered mythical creatures, but I still recognised the signs.”

“A world where vampires are considered fairytales? Consider me jealous. I wonder if there’s an Astarion wandering around in your world.”

“I know him, as a matter of fact. He’s my neighbour.”

“Quite a coincidence! Is he as devastatingly handsome as I am?”

“More like a devastating asshole. Although I guess that much is the same as in this world. Ah here it is” Gale had found a scroll titled “Animal Speaking”.

“Somehow it warms my cold, dead heart to know that every version of me knows just how to get on your nerves.”

Gale started to copy the spell into his notebook.

“We also don’t have elves, so the Astarion back home doesn’t have pointy ears”

“So what am I then?”

“Human, just like the rest of us.”

“Ugh, boring. Wait, do you mean everyone in your world is human? How is that fair?”

“I don’t know, I never really thought about it until now. Humans are the only sapient life where I come from. Well, except maybe dolphins.”

“That sounds awful. A whole society made up of boring old humans who can’t even do magic.”

“We’ve excelled in other ways. Mostly technologically.”

“If I could interrupt your flirting Mr. Dekarios, there is a time pressure involved” Tara was

“I wasn’t-“ started Gale, before he remembered Astarion hadn’t understood her. “Of course. I'm just about finished here. What next?”

“Do you remember how you summoned me?”

“Not really, it just kind of… happened”

“Interesting. Have there been any other events that just ‘happened’?”

“Well, now that I think about it, when I fell from the Nautiloid I was able to pull myself into an Ancient Sigil somehow.”

“I see. So there does seem to be some kind of instinctual tie with Mr. Dekarios’s connection to the weave. That may be worth looking into. But for now, I’ll teach you how to summon me.”

She gave him the instructions to write in the spellbook.

“I’ll go and see if I can find anything. You can summon me once you’ve next set up camp.”

“Thank you, Tara. It would have been nice to be able to talk with my version of you like this.”

“I can imagine she has a lot to say.”

With that, the Tressym took off flying.

“You won’t tell Tav, will you?” Asked Gale.

“Not as long as you keep up the charade about my vampirism.”

“Of course. It would be a shame for both of the black sheep to be kicked from the party.”

—

Gale spent the rest of the day practising the different spells he had transcribed. He felt like he was starting to get the hang of it, although he couldn’t guarantee he would be useful in a fight just yet.

As the light outside began to grow dark, the group returned. They got their usual update- after entering the crèche with Lae’zel and trying the tadpole extraction machine thing, it had basically exploded. They had fought the Gith commander for some reason, Lae’zel had switched sides in some kind of Githyanki political movement, oh and she was going to be a mother. Gale didn’t want to know how a humanoid could lay such a massive egg.

They were set to head off to Moonrise Towers the next morning, which was where the Absolute cultists were said to be gathering. He didn’t bother keeping track of what else the party was doing these days. The moments he actually understood what was going on were few and far between. As long as there were no updates about their tadpoles or news on the Absolute, it didn’t really concern him.

For now, he was focused on finding a way out of this mess, whether that meant somehow finding his way back home or overthrowing Tav. Without much he could personally do to influence either of those things right now, he was left with his original plan- enjoy it while it lasts.

He poured himself a goblet of wine and headed over to the cooking pot for a bowl of tasteless stew. Maybe he could start volunteering for cooking duties, he wasn’t such a bad chef. Definitely better than any of his companions, judging from the slop they had been eating.

Gale watched as Astarion sat with an untouched bowl of stew, laughing and flirting with Tav. He could practically see the gears whirring in the Tiefling’s head as they watched for him to take a bite. He should intervene.

“Astarion!” He walked over to join them, both of the pair looking mildly annoyed. “I was just thinking about your suggestion that we take over cooking duty, since we’re in camp so often.”

“Uh, right. Right! I was saying that.” the vampire played along.

“You should have tasted the stuffed rabbit he made us for lunch, Tav. I’m barely able to eat dinner myself after such a hearty meal.”

Tav raised an eyebrow and turned to Astarion. “You never told me you could cook.”

“Oh, it’s a hobby of mine. I didn’t think it would interest you.”

Tav seemed content with this explanation. “I’m interested if it means I get to try this stuffed rabbit!”

“We’ll have to make it again tomorrow, won’t we Gale” said Astarion, pointedly.

“I didn’t realise you two had become friends,” noted Tav.

“Friends might be too strong of a word” said Gale, “but it’s hard not to exchange conversation when we spend so much time together.”

“It’s less of an exchange, more of a monologue- on your behalf” teased Astarion.

“Well, I won’t keep you from your conversation any longer,” said Gale. As he walked away he could hear Tav whisper to Astarion

“Don’t get attached.”

Chapter 11

“Stand back, I’ll take care of this”

The path to Moonrise Towers had been blocked by several what looked like misty, black ghosts, along with two hulking skeletal creatures in suits of armour. 

The team moved in, it was clear they had grown comfortable fighting together- Wyll doing crowd control and pushing the enemies where Karlach and Lae’zel could deal the heavier blows, all the while Tav proving defence and buffs, and Shadowheart healing up any injuries. 

Gale watched as Lae’zel served a particularly hard blow to one of the shadow things, causing it to evaporate into a cloud of smoke. Karlach roared, her fiery aura intensifying as she cleaved two ghosts at once, both of them meeting the same fate as the first. 

She turned to give Shadowheart a high five, just as one of the skeletons raised its sword in a blaze of green magic and the ghosts reappeared, back in full force. Taking Karlach by surprise, one of them swiped at her with its dark claws, leaving a deep gash. 

“We have to take down the big guys first!” Yelled Tav. Lae’zel was already on it, lifting her blade as she charged towards one of them, landing a hard strike on the creature's armour. It barely reacted, returning her blow with equal force and leaving her bleeding heavily from a wound to her arm.

Shadowheart was struggling to keep up with healing, as the blows kept coming. In a moment of frenzy, Karlach was able to take down one of the skeletons, but he was simply revived before they had made a dent in the other. 

Gale was beginning to worry. Had his companions been managing on their journey this far with pure brute strength? Or was the heat of battle causing them to lose any tactical sense? 

“Get them both weakened!” He yelled “then I’ll take them down at the same time!”

“Stand down, Gale!” Yelled Tav. “We can’t risk it, you’re not strong enough”

“I don’t see another option, I’m running out of energy!” Cried Shadowheart in desperation. 

To the Tiefling’s dismay, Lae’zel and Karlach changed tactics- each one focusing on a skeleton to try and get them vulnerable. With a well-timed Eldritch Blast from Wyll knocking the huge creatures within range of each other, Gale saw his chance and summoned a powerful ball of flame, which he sent crashing down as the two warriors dove out of the way. 

Both skeletons were instantly turned to ash, leaving the team to take down the weaker shadow creatures with relative ease. 

As soon as the last of them had vanished in a cloud of smoke, Tav stormed over to Gale, still bleeding from several injuries they had sustained during the battle. 

“Don’t you ever undermine me like that. You could have gotten us and yourself killed.” they spat. 

“From back here it looked like you were doing a fine job of that yourself.” Gale retorted. 

“If your memories have returned you should have notified me. But a few magic spells are not worth the risk of you dying before we reach the Absolute.”

“You won’t reach the Absolute at all if you run into each battle using your sword instead of your brain.”

“I understand that you’re upset with my decision to leave you behind, but I need you to stay in line.”

“It’s not-“

“No, we’re finished.” they turned to the rest of the group “If any of you have a problem with my leadership decisions, you are welcome to fare your chances as mind flayers.” 

Everyone stood speechless at this outburst. The Tiefling continued. 

“You have no idea what it’s like to be in my position, to have the responsibility of thousands of lives on your shoulders. I don’t need risk takers, I need people who know when to listen. Now get yourselves patched up, we have a lot of ground to cover before sundown.”

Tav grabbed a healing potion and stormed off into the treeline to calm down. 

“Thank you, Gale. For saving us there” said Shadowheart. “I’m glad your memories are returning.”

“That was great work, soldier.” agreed Karlach. 

The group started rummaging through their bags, pulling out healing potions and bandaging wounds. 

Astarion wandered over to Gale and whispered “and I thought I was the overly dramatic one of the group”

Gale laughed at this, until he saw Tav looking over at them out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t want the vampire to risk any consequences of being friendly with him. 

“We’re being watched.” Gale said quietly. “Better get back to ignoring me.” 

Astarion’s face dropped at this. “Right. Sorry, I should go talk to them.”

Gale watched as the vampire wandered over to try and comfort them. Tav seemed annoyed at first, but after a few minutes of talking they seemed to calm down a bit. The pair walked back over to the group. 

“Is everyone ready? We should head off” said Tav. The group loaded up their packs and headed off toward the shadow lands, one step closer to Moonrise Towers and their confrontation with the Absolute. 

 

—

 

Gale hadn’t known what to expect when they spoke of a shadow curse that had infected the area, but the reality was grim. Dark, foreboding magic swirled around the jagged landscape, disfigured by the powerful curse. 

Halsin knew of a safe house nearby that was protected from its effects, but they would still have to be careful making it there in their weakened state. With the help of several torches to protect them, they were able to narrowly avoid a few encounters with more of the shadow creatures before finding it- The Last Light Inn. 

Unfortunately, it seems their presence was not expected as they were greeted by several spears pointed towards them by a group of guards at the entrance. They were joined not long after by a severe looking elf woman who for some reason had a Russian accent. 

The woman- Jaheira, as Karlach had excitedly whispered- was apparently a well known folk hero and the one in charge. She had been tracking the Moonrise Cultists and was convinced that the group of intruders were ‘True Souls’. 

A young Tiefling came running towards them. Gale recognised him as one of the refugees from the Grove. The child vouched for their safety, which gave Jaheira enough trust in them to hear Tav out. 

Tav was led inside the inn for a meeting with Jaheira, joined by Shadowheart and a star-struck Karlach while the rest of them waited outside. Gale looked around the safe hold, it was protected by a large sphere of shimmering light which covered the inn along with several small buildings and tents. He could see quite a few familiar faces amongst the people there, apparently the Tiefling refugees had made it there safely. 

Tav returned and informed them the group would be allowed to stay. Tomorrow, they and the others would have to help a group of operatives called “Harpers” intercept a convoy of cultists, who had discovered a way to protect themselves against the curse.

Gale, obviously, was not invited on this adventure. He was fine with this though, as he was excited to summon Tara and hear what she had discovered so far. 

Tav was offered a room in the inn, which they offered to share with Astarion. The rest of them were to set up camp outside behind the barns. The perks of being a leader. 

 

---

 

"About time. This place is horrible.”

Tara had already made her way to Moonrise Towers, though not without her own struggle. Apparently, it’s quite difficult to navigate while holding a torch in your mouth. There, she had spoken to a cat who had given her information that led her to find a shipment of mind flayer parasites.

"They were supposed to be delivered to someone named Gortash. Do you know who that is?" Tara asked.

Astarion’s brow lifted. "As in Enver Gortash?" He glanced at Gale, who had cast Speak with Animals on both of them for this conversation- considering Astarion already knew Gale’s secret, he might as well lend a hand.

Astarion continued, “He’s certainly been making waves in Baldur’s Gate lately, climbing the political ladder. What could he possibly want the tadpoles for?”

"I don’t know, but it smells fishy- and not in a good way," Tara replied, wrinkling her nose.

Gale considered this. "You said he’s in politics?"

"Yes, although I can’t say I follow it much," Astarion said with a shrug. "But it’s hard to ignore all the propaganda he’s been throwing around. I heard he was dealing in illegal arms before becoming a political advisor. Now he wants to replace the Council of Four as Baldur’s Gate’s first Archduke."

"And what agenda is he pushing?".

"Oh, a little bit of everything, really," Astarion replied, waving a hand dismissively. "Mostly fear of outsiders. The classic ‘convince the people they’re in danger, and there’s only one man who can save them’ type of slop."

“Is there any way he could be using the tadpoles to control people himself?” Gale asked, “Since Illithids can mind control people, after all.”

“That is simply not possible,” Tara replied firmly. “Not enough is known about the mind flayer infection and ceremorphosis process to even cure it reliably, let alone control it.”

Gale looked thoughtful. “Master Halsin said the ones in our brains have been altered somehow by magic. Isn’t it possible that Gortash enchanted a batch of the tadpoles?”

“I don’t think you understand the unprecedented level of power such dangerously experimental magic would require. It’s practically unfathomable that anyone could achieve such a task.”

“You’re right, I don’t understand,” Gale admitted. “But maybe an outside perspective will help. I’ll have to trust you if you say it’s truly impossible, but from my side, it doesn’t seem completely out of the question that a wannabe dictator would try to secure control over his people in a more… literal sense.”

“Hmm. I’ll have to consider whether such a thing could truly be possible. There was certainly a lot of disturbing magic at Moonrise. And a very strange, meaty… being in the walls.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I hardly know myself,” Tara replied with a sigh. “The only thing I can say for sure is that it’s big, Mr. Dekarios. Even if it has nothing to do with the tadpoles, I think the Absolute may be something more than you bargained for.”

"So… what now?”

"Now, I do some more digging. It’s all I can do with what we have," Tara said, her tone brisk.

Gale nodded. “Thank you, Tara.”

“I’m not doing this for you,” Tara said, glancing at him coolly. “I’m doing it for the real Mr. Dekarios. And for your Tara back home.”

Gale huffed. “I am the real Mr. Dekarios!”

Tara looked at him pointedly. “Only as much as a Tressym is a cat. I’ll be around. You don’t need to worry about summoning me until you’re ready to move on. If I find anything new, I’ll come talk to you.”

As she turned to leave, Astarion gave her a quick scratch behind the ears. “Gortash finding a way to control the tadpoles? It’s certainly… resourceful,” he remarked as she padded off.

Gale watched her go, then turned to Astarion. “How much do you know about mind flayers?”

“Next to nothing,” Astarion admitted. “If I recall, they’re part of some kind of hive mind. They conquer worlds by infecting the inhabitants. Tentacles, brain-eating, emotionless killing machines, etcetera.”

“So would someone wanting to control the tadpoles have to stop the ceremorphosis and sever the connection to the hive mind?”

Astarion shrugged. “That, or control the hive mind. But I have no idea how it works myself, so I couldn’t say if it’s possible.”

Based on the number of ‘True Souls’ they’d encountered versus the lack of actual mind flayers aside from those in the Nautiloid, there had to be something preventing the transformations of those infected. At least for now. Until then, he could only hope for another meeting with the dream visitor and hope to get a few answers out of him. 

---

The rest of the day, Gale and Astarion wandered around the Last Light Inn, trying to pass the time. It was the first building they’d come across with proper amenities on this journey, even if it was a bit rough.

Inside, they met a young tiefling bard who was working on a song about Tav. Neither of them had a decent answer when she asked them for inspiration, though Gale suspected Astarion was holding back on purpose. They were nearly kicked out for accidentally trying to enter the room of the cleric responsible for the protective dome.

Outside, they met a friendly man working the forge, who recognized them as Karlach’s friends and showed them what he was working on, a potential fix for her engine problem. Eventually, they made their way back to the inn, settling near the bar for a break.

Gale leaned against the counter, unable to stop his mind from spinning. Thoughts of Tara, the conversations with Karlach, the dream visitor, the orb, the Absolute… It was all so much. He was exhausted.

Astarion noticed his silence. “I can see you’re brooding again, wizard. Stop it.”

Gale sighed. “What else am I supposed to do?”

Astarion’s eyes glinted with that familiar spark of mischief. “Did you consider my offer? To actually have a little fun in case the Tressym doesn’t find a way out?”

“I have been having fun! I stole all those scrolls, and I’ve been learning how to do magic.”

“Only you would consider a bunch of musty old scrolls a ‘fun’ way to spend your last days alive”

“Oh yeah? And what would you be doing in my position?”

Astarion gave him a wicked grin. “Hmm, let’s see… If I were you, I’d probably start by getting ridiculously wasted in the tavern, then getting laid- gods know you need it. Then maybe telling Tav to go fuck themselves. I doubt they’d risk kicking you out even after that, so you might as well have a little fun with it.”

Gale gave him a flat look. “Right. Well, I doubt I’m getting laid anytime soon. It’s not like I’m exactly popular around here.”

“I’m sure there’s some tiefling with daddy issues who might find you charming.”

“I’ll pass. And as for Tav…” Gale shrugged. “I beg to differ that they wouldn’t kick me out. After their display this morning, I fear their ego may be bigger than their common sense.”

“You may be right about that,” Astarion agreed, raising a brow. “But drinking?”

“Why not. What are you having?”

“I’ll have the red.”

Chapter 12: Interlude

Notes:

Our regular programming has been interrupted by another wizard!Gale interlude.

Cw: abuse and drug use

It had taken a few days, but somehow Gale had managed to get through most of his alter self‘s journals.

Despite the major difference of circumstances, there were a surprising number of similarities in their biographies. They both had a cat, they had both been mentored, romanced, and brutally dumped by Mystra. They had both had practically non existent social lives. Even the other Gale‘s thought processes were remarkably similar to his own, although he supposed they were the same person after all, so that shouldn’t have been too surprising.

During the other Gale‘s time in university, he hadn’t been close to many of his classmates. The closest thing Gale could find to someone who could be considered a friend was a man named Rolan. A quick search on the computer revealed he was currently employed at a private research institute; an “E“-mail address was provided on the web page.

He quickly drafted an E-letter, deciding to omit the truth until he could gauge the status of their friendship, as well as Rolan’s openness to his rather unusual situation.

“Dear Rolan,

Here is Gale Dekarios, your former colleague from the Physics Department.
I realise it may be surprising for you to hear from me, but regretfully, I have found myself in the rather difficult position of having suffered acute memory loss. I would sincerely appreciate it if you would agree to meet with me so I can piece together my time at University.

I look forward to a response,
Sincerely,
Gale Dekarios.”

He clicked send, wondering how in the hells he was going to be able to explain everything without seeming crazy. Hopefully their time as colleagues had afforded him some benefit of the doubt. With no way to truly prove his story, he was just going to have to play it by ear and hope for the best.

---

Gale spent most of his time divided between researching this universe and taking walks around the neighbourhood so he could get to know the area better. It was also a good excuse to observe the people of this dimension and their daily lives.

He kept a small notebook where he could jot down any new information, which was quickly being filled with new vocabulary and descriptions of various marvels of technology. Despite never having been artistically inclined, he had taken to sketching the architectural details of the various buildings that were so different to the ones back home.

He had been sitting on a bench, trying to capture the details of a particularly interesting restaurant- two shining yellow arches adorning its roof, when he was distracted by a familiar voice.

“I don’t care how much he’s offering! I’m not meeting him again, not after last time.”

Gale looked up to see an annoyed-looking Astarion standing on the curb, accompanied by a man with long, dark hair and a deep scowl.

“Need I remind you again that you don’t have a say in the matter?” Hissed the man.

“Oh, you never let me forget. I mean it, I’m not going.” Astarion turned to leave, but the man grabbed him roughly by the wrist.

“Then I also don’t need to remind you of the consequences of disobeying me.” Astarion struggled, but the man’s grip remained firm. “Or do you need a demonstration?”

Astarion finally broke free, shaking his bruised arm. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Good. You leave on Friday.” The man climbed into a black car parked next to them and drove away, leaving a fuming Astarion standing on the curb.

Gale wasn’t sure if he should make his presence known, guessing that he was probably the last person Astarion would accept comfort from. On the other hand, the way that man had treated him had been completely unacceptable, and Gale couldn’t bear to think of what Astarion must be going through if this was how he was handled in public.

He didn’t have more time to ponder, as from across the road, Astarion suddenly made eye contact with him. “Oh for Christ's sake. Of course you saw that.”

“Um… Hi, Astarion.” Gale said with an awkward wave.

“Oh, fuck off will you?” Astarion gave an exasperated sigh, before turning around and briskly walking off in the direction of the apartments. Gale jogged to catch up with him.

“No, really Gale. I don’t want to deal with you right now.”

“Astarion. What I just saw- how that man treated you. That was absolutely not okay, you know that right?” Gale panted, struggling to keep up.

Astarion stopped dead in his tracks, causing Gale to almost crash into him. “Oh! Wow, I had no idea.”

“Yes, I really think you should distance yourself from such a person.”

“Thank you, Gale, for finally waking me up from this nightmare. I can finally be free.” Astarion started back up at his rapid pace. “Now I only need to worry about distancing myself from my crazy fucking neighbor who won’t leave me alone!”

Gale watched as Astarion flipped him off, deciding it was better to let him cool down alone. He checked the time on his phone, Tara would probably be getting hungry soon, and noticed a notification- a response from Rolan.

“Dear Gale,
I’m sorry to hear about your misfortune. I’d be happy to meet and fill you in on any memories of when we were colleagues.
Do you have time Thursday evening?
Rolan.”

---

The next day, Astarion didn’t arrive for his check-in. Despite his better judgement, Gale made the decision to go and make sure Astarion was doing okay.

He hated to think that Astarion could be in trouble. He hesitated in front of his neighbour’s door, listening to the faint sounds of movement that indicated that Astarion was indeed at home.

Bracing himself for the verbal attack he was about to receive if Astarion was actually fine, Gale gave a few short knocks. A few moments later, the door swung open, releasing a small cloud of strange-smelling smoke.

“Oh. It’s you.” Astarion looked terrible. His hair was a crazed mop of white- a stark contrast with the dark circles under his eyes, and he was dressed only in his undergarments and a short sleeved tunic.

“What do you want?” There was no anger in his voice, only exhaustion.

“Hello Astarion, you failed to check in on me today so I just wanted to stop by and make sure you were okay. You know, after…” Gale trailed off as Astarion gave him an empty stare.

“Oh. Right.”

“Are you feeling alright?” Clearly Astarion was in some state of confusion. His eyes were tinged red, had he been crying?

“Yes, darling, I’m perfectly fine.”

“Have you eaten anything today?”

“Hmm, probably.” So, no, Gale guessed.

“Why don’t you go take a seat and I’ll make you something? I’m sure it will help you feel better.”

Astarion made a noncommittal kind of grunt and went to sit on his sofa, leaving the door open, which Gale took as an invitation.

The apartment had an identical layout to his own, but that was about where the similarities ended. The hazy room had heavy curtains blocking out any natural light, and the decoration was sparse.

The leather couch which Astarion had laid back on sat against a bare wall, in front of it was a small table with a large water pipe and a small dish of herbs. The source of the smoke, and likely of Astarion’s confused demeanour.

Gale walked over to the kitchen and opened the cooling box. It was practically empty, only a few bottles of ale and various condiments to be found. The pantry was equally bare. No wonder Astarion hadn’t eaten.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, before popping down to his apartment to grab some ingredients. He didn’t have enough for anything too fancy, but he would have to make do.

About half an hour later, he placed a plate of sautéed vegetables and steak in front of Astarion, who hadn’t moved from his spot on the couch. He sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What’s this?” He asked sleepily.

“It’s nothing special. Just a little pick-me-up to help you feel better.”

Astarion picked up a fork and took a small bite, before his eyes widened in surprise. “What the hell, Gale.”

Gale’s stomach sank. Were people’s tastes that different in this universe?

“This is delicious.” Astarion took another, bigger bite. “Did you make this?”

“Oh! It’s nothing, really. I just tossed a few things together.”

“If this is nothing then I want to know what something is.” Astarion groaned as if it was the best thing he had ever eaten, and shovelled more food into his mouth. Within a few short minutes, the plate was clean.

“I trust you’re feeling better, then?” Asked Gale.

“It was nothing, really. Just blowing off steam.”

“With the assistance of these herbs?” Gale nodded in the direction of the pipe.

“With the assistance of these herbs?” Astarion repeated in a poor impression of Gale’s voice. “You can’t be that boring, that you haven’t even tried weed before.”

Of course there were various mind-altering herbs back home, some of which Gale had partaken in for their magical properties. “Well, not this one.” He admitted.

Astarion giggled. “What does that even mean?” He started to pack some of the herbs into the bowl of the pipe. “Actually I thought of something that would help me feel a lot better.”

“And what’s that?” Gale said suspiciously.

“I want to see the great Gale Dekarios high off his bollocks.” He said, holding the pipe out.

“I don’t see how that’s supposed to help.”

“You of all people should understand the importance of mental health, and this will definitely cure my depression. Laughter being the best medicine and all.”

Gale considered for a moment. He guessed it couldn’t hurt, it was only a non-magical herb, and it wasn’t like he had any other plans for the evening. He took the pipe. “Alright, how do I use this?”

“Just hold your thumb over that hole. I’ll light it, then you breathe in and hold for a few seconds.”

Gale did as he was told, Astarion using a small device to set the herbs aflame. A thick smoke bubbled through the water in the glass tube and into Gale’s lungs, causing him to sputter in surprise. “It tastes awful!” He wheezed.

“Don’t be a baby. Come on, try again.” Astarion lit the herbs again, and Gale took another deep breath. This time he managed to hold it for a few seconds before bursting into a coughing fit.

“What effect is this supposed to have exactly?” Asked Gale once he managed to calm his breathing. Astarion, who had taken the pipe, let out a long, elegant stream of smoke before answering. “It just helps you to relax. Makes you feel nice.”

Gale wasn’t feeling any different. Maybe it would need some time to take effect. “So… about yesterday.”

“Oh my god, you always have to put a damper on everything, don’t you?” Groaned Astarion. “Just when I was finally starting to get my mind off it.”

“Okay, okay. We can change the subject. Just… please promise me that you’re not in danger?”

“Well, I am an excellent liar so- I’m not in any danger.”

“Astarion.”

“Look, I got myself into this shit a very long time ago and I’m sorry to disappoint you and your dreams of rescuing me from my evil master, but it’s just not worth it.”

“But-“ Gale tried to interject, but Astarion’s expression turned cold.

“You said we could change the subject.” He snapped.

“Right. That I did.” Gale could feel his limbs starting to get heavy, almost like he was moving through lava. “Oh gods, why does my voice sound like that?”

Astarion’s demeanor relaxed. “Ah, my sweet summer child. You’re just getting started- this is what experts like to call ‘The good shit’”. He handed the pipe back to Gale, who took another lungful.

“You know, haha, this reminds me of my time at Blackstaff Academy, and- pfft- and I summoned-” Gale was thinking of the time he summoned a Lava Mephit and set the dorm room curtains on fire, but the memory was making him laugh so much that he couldn’t get the words out.

It didn’t seem to matter though, Astarion was also laughing, a high pitched, gleeful kind of giggle that only made Gale laugh harder.

“You- snort- you still think you’re a wizard, don’t you?” Astarion managed between giggles.

“Nooooo, of course not! That would be ridiculous! Not a serious man like me, I studied physics!” Gale put on the most serious expression he could manage, which made Astarion practically double over.

“Hahaha, god, imagine though. What if you really were a wizard this whole time and we've all just been treating you like you’re crazy for nothing.”

Gale couldn’t stop his face from falling. “Yeah… that would be something, wouldn’t it?”

“You… you really believe it.” Astarion was looking at him with a strange expression.

Gale hesitated. “No, of course not. It’s just these weeds making my imagination run wild.”

“Right”.

They sat in silence for a while.

“Can you tell me about it?” Asked Astarion finally. “What your hallucination wizard life was like?”

“Oh! Um, I don’t know, it’s a bit embarrassing isn’t it?”

“Come on, I promise I won’t laugh… much. You can tell it to me like a bedtime story”.

“Well you’d better get tucked in, then. My stories have been known to put people to sleep.”

Astarion surprised him by laying himself across the couch and resting his head on Gale’s lap. “I’m not tucking anything for you, but I’m ready.”

Gale could feel himself flushing. “O-okay. Once upon a time, there was a powerful Wizard named Gale of Waterdeep-“

“Sounds like a knob.” Interrupted Astarion.

“Do you want to hear the story or not?”

“Sorry.”

“Well, he was a little bit of a knob- you see, at a young age Gale had shown such potential that he caught the eye of the goddess of the weave- of magic- Mystra.”

“And by ‘caught the eye of’ you mean…?”

“As one of her chosen. But yes, she was his mentor, his muse and eventually his lover.”

“Wizard Gale had game then.”

“Enough to let it go to his head, but not enough to keep Mystra’s attention. You see, Gale thought he deserved more- a place by Mystra's side in the realm of the gods.”

“But she didn’t agree?”

“No, she pushed him further and further away until the only thing he could think to do was a grand gesture. He hunted down an ancient magical tome in the hopes of proving himself.”

Astarion listened intently.

“But attempting to use the book infected him with a terrible curse, one that would slowly absorb all of his magic until finally, it would detonate. The blast would be strong enough to flatten an entire city. The end.”

“What?! What do you mean, ‘the end’?” What happened to Gale?”

“Well, he moped around in bed trying not to die and then woke up in an alternate universe where magic wasn’t real so it didn’t matter any more.”

“That’s a terrible ending.”

“Well, the truth isn’t always pretty.”

Astarion raised an eyebrow. “The truth?”

“You know what I mean, the truth I believed.”

“Well you could have at least hallucinated something more satisfying. What else was there in this magic world?”

“All kinds of wonderful things. Different kinds of species too- elves, dwarves, dragons…”

“And what would I be?”

Gale studied Astarion’s face. “A goblin.”

Astarion gasped in offence. “A goblin? I’m far too pretty.”

“Don’t let a goblin overhear that,” Gale teased. “They can be quite feisty- just like someone I know.”

“Come on! What do you think I would really be?”

“Hmmm… maybe an elf. Ethereal, graceful and extremely full of themselves.”

“That’s more like it. So you think I’m ethereal then?” Astarion gave a triumphant grin.

Gale blushed and turned away, “An ethereal pain in the behind.”

They sat in silence, the previous hysteria of the herbs having given way to a pleasant calm. It would have been easy to fall asleep, had Gale not been acutely aware of Astarons head still on his lap. Part of him wanted to reach out and stroke his hair, probably from the intimacy of the position.

“Well, I’d better get back to Tara, she’s probably getting lonely without me.” Said Gale eventually.

Astarion, who had apparently started drifting off, mumbled something incomprehensible. As gently as he could, Gale lifted the man’s head and laid it down on the sofa. Spotting a nearby blanket, he draped it over the sleeping Astarion and quietly made his exit.

Notes:

I’m finally getting around to writing the end of the fic (like the wizard!gale part) and honestly I have no idea how to tie these two fuckers in lmao.

Chapter 13

Notes:

And back to the show~
Cw: Alcohol

Gale awoke once again with a splitting headache. He tried to remember what had happened last night as he rolled over to get out of his tent and-

Oh. Oh no. Shit.

A very shirtless Astarion was asleep next to him. Gale’s thoughts raced. How had this happened, and why? What was Tav going to do if they found out? He racked his brain, trying to think back to the previous evening.

“So how long have you lived in Baldur’s Gate?” Gale had asked, idly swirling his wine.

“Come on, let’s not talk about me,” Astarion replied. “We’re supposed to be having fun. Who on the team would you fuck if you had to pick one?”

“None of them!”

“Come on… you can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it,” the vampire teased.

“That would be highly disrespectful.”

“If you answer my question, I’ll answer yours,” he leaned closer. “I know you can’t stand Tav, so you can skip them.”

Gale sighed. “Okay, well… Lae’zel is terrifying, Shadowheart and Karlach clearly have something going on, so none of them.”

“And Halsin?”

“Oh. Um…” Gale hesitated, flushing slightly.

“There’s no way you’re not at least a little bit curious about waving someone else’s wand,” 

“What makes you say that?”

“Oh, you could say I have an extra sense for such things. Answer me- Halsin, yes or no?”

Gale sighed, feeling the warmth of the wine. “Halsin’s…too intimidating. He’s massive.”

“Some would see that as a benefit. Wyll?”

“Too young. And much too cocky for my tastes.”

“So that leaves me,” Astarion replied with a smug smile. “Who knew you had such good taste?”

“Hey! You’re off the table too, you’re far too high-maintenance.”

“Oh, but the maintenance is what makes the ride enjoyable,” the vampire shot back smoothly. “To answer your question then- all my life. And death, I suppose. Although I might leave Baldur’s Gate after this, if I want to avoid Cazador’s other spawn.”

Gale blinked in surprise. “Other spawn?”

Astarion waved him off. “Nope, my turn now.”

“What? You asked me, like, five questions!”

“It’s not my fault if you don’t enforce the rules. Let me think…if your Mystra isn’t a goddess, what is she like?”

“Ugh, don’t make me think about my ex. Mystra is a highly ambitious woman who apparently enjoys the company of much younger men.”

Astarion cocked an eyebrow. “Wait, how much younger are we talking?”

“She was my professor. We met when I was seventeen and she was in her late thirties. She did wait until I was eighteen to…start anything.”

“Oh…” Astarion frowned in confusion. “Why would she do that?”

“In my world, eighteen is the legal age at which you’re considered an adult.”

“That actually makes it creepier. That she knew it was wrong enough to wait for some arbitrary date to pass, as if you’d magically become mature because of a law.”

Gale looked thoughtful. “I never thought about it that way… but I guess you’re kind of right.”

Astarion leaned back, watching Gale carefully. “There’s seven of us ‘siblings,’ as Cazador liked to call us,” he said softly. “He always insisted we were a family, although I can’t imagine most families involved that much torture.”

“I’m sorry- that sounds awful.”

Astarion shrugged. “This conversation is becoming awfully depressing. Please make your next question a little more fun”.

He noticed they had both finished their wine and signalled for another round. “It’s my turn again, though,” he said as they clinked glasses. “How many people have you been intimate with?”

Gale’s cheeks flushed. “Well, if you count just fooling around, then four. Otherwise, two.”

“That’s actually adorably sad,” Astarion said, smirking. “Makes sense, though. Your turn to ask.”

“Okay then… who would you fuck aside from Tav?”

“Hmm. Lae’zel would be interesting, for sure. I’ve never bedded a Githyanki. I’ve seen Wyll checking me out, but I doubt he has a lot of skill. I think I’d go with Halsin, there were rumours of his ‘talents’ going around the grove– apparently he’s a very selfless lover.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised. Okay, your turn.”

Astarion stretched his arms above his head, looking bored. “Hmm, no, this is getting tired.”

“What?!” Gale protested. “I still have so many questions for you.”

“I know I’m dreadfully interesting, darling, but I can’t say the same for you. Why don’t we try to find you someone to pass the evening with?”

“I don’t know… It’s been too long. I fear I may have lost my charm.”

“I’m surprised to hear you had any in the first place.”

Gale scoffed. “I had plenty of charm in my youth! In fact, I was quite the heartbreaker in my faculty. I rejected a number of my classmates while I was with Mystra.”

“Oh really? Then show me, Wizard. Flirt with me,” Astarion challenged, leaning forward.

“What? No, I don’t think-” Gale stammered.

“Come on, charm me. Pretend I’m some intellectual young scholar or whatever your type is.”

He considered the vampire, maybe he could approach this as some kind of experiment. He leaned in a little, mirroring Astarion’s posture, and cleared his throat. “Do you… do you believe in alternate universes?”

Astarion raised an eyebrow. “Is that really the best you’ve got?”

“Ah, but you see,” Gale replied, growing bolder, “I already know you in two universes. Who’s to say there isn’t a universe where I know exactly what to say to make you come home with me?”

“Well, clearly it isn’t this one. Come on, do better.”

Gale leaned in even closer, his finger tracing circles around the rim of his glass. “Perhaps there’s a universe where I have piqued your interest. Where I’ve sensed your taste for the refined, the bold. One where I could satisfy your preference for the finer things in life.”

“Hmm, now you’re getting somewhere,” murmured Astarion, watching him with a mixture of mild amusement and flattery.

“You mentioned a desire for a selfless lover, did you not? Given my propensity towards verbosity, it can’t be a surprise that I have a practised tongue.”

At this point, their faces were very close; Gale could feel the coolness of Astarion’s breath as it quickened slightly, his eyes fixated on Gale’s. The tension in the air was unexpected and thick, and for a split second, he saw the vampire’s eyes flick down to his lips. It would be so easy just to lean forward…

No, this was wrong. They were both drunk. Gale pulled back, breaking the tension. “So…how did I do?”

For a moment, Astarion seemed taken aback, but he quickly recovered his composure. “Well, it seems I may have underestimated you. If you let this side of you show more often, you’d have no trouble finding a companion for the evening.”

“I don’t know. To be completely honest with you, I’m not sure I’m suited for a single night of passion. But I guess there’s no harm in experimentation.”

“What’s not to like? All the fun with none of the boring feelings stuff.”

“First of all, I don’t find feelings boring,” Gale replied, his tone more serious. “But aside from that, there’s nothing quite like the act of sharing both mind and body, learning the ins and outs of a person you care about.”

“Believe me, I’ve had no problems discovering people’s ins and outs.”

“Have you ever experienced that with someone you love?”

“Hardly. I’m afraid I’m not the romantic type.”

“I do hope that one day you may surprise yourself. It’s a magnificent feeling.”

“I’ll have to take your word on it.”

—

None of these memories explained how Gale had gotten here. He looked over at the vampire, who looked almost peaceful as he lay still sleeping. Had Gale really slept with him last night? It wasn’t something he had ever thought about doing- not just for the fear of their leader. 

Astarion was certainly a very handsome man, but the two of them were hardly attracted to one another, were they? That moment in the bar seemed to suggest otherwise. If only Gale could remember. 

Astarion was laying on his stomach, face turned to one side. Gale could see the top of a large scar on his back peeking out from under the blanket. 

A memory sparked, the scar- they had spoken about it last night. He remembered looking around at the different patrons in the bar. Astarion had been pointing them out, suggesting that Gale go and flirt with them. There had been a handsome, older man sitting at a chessboard. 

“Now he seems like your type,” said Astarion with a sly grin. “It’s the perfect evening to experiment, don’t you think? Come, I’ll be your wingman.”

The two of them walked over to the man, who was wearing a velvet doublet not too unlike the one Astarion had been wearing that first day on the cliffs. 

“Mind if we join? My friend here is quite the accomplished player.” Astarion was bluffing, but it was true that Gale knew his way around a chessboard. 

“Of course, I couldn’t say no to such fine company on an evening like this,” said the man, who introduced himself as Raphael. 

Something about Astarion’s body language changed as they drew closer to him. There was a strange, almost sulphuric smell in the air. 

“I didn’t expect this bar to attract patronage of an infernal nature” said Astarion tensely. 

“I’m just waiting on someone, a friend of yours in fact. Where is that stubborn little Paladin? They’ve been out for such a long while.”

“What have you done with Tav?” growled Astarion 

“Nothing!” exclaimed Raphael, holding his hands up in appeasement. “I can see the spawn has fangs, but there’s no need to get snappy. I was simply hoping to revisit my offer.”

“What offer? Tav would never make a deal with a devil.” Astarion

“Yes, awfully tedious the whole Paladin thing, isn’t it? But they obviously decided not to share the details of our discussion with their beau.” He noticed Astarion’s concerned expression. “Don’t worry, no contracts have been signed. I just thought they may have reconsidered.”

“What was the offer?” asked Gale.

“That’s between me and your friend. You’re welcome to make an offer of your own, though. You’re certainly quite far from home, aren’t you?”

Gale didn’t know much about the hells, but he did know a deal with a devil could only mean bad news. 

“I think I’ll pass.”

“Your loss. Well, since your leader hasn’t bothered showing up I really must be getting home. The hells don’t run themselves.” Raphael stood up to leave. 

“Wait” said Astarion. Gale looked at him in surprise, what could he possibly want from a devil? Surely he wouldn’t be willing to make a trade to cure his vampirism. 

“I’d like to make a deal. I have something written on my back, it’s in Infernal. I'd like you to translate it.”

“That could be arranged. Let’s take a look, shall we?”

Raphael snapped his fingers, instantly leaving the vampire shirtless in full display of the bar. The full design of his scar was huge and intricate, completely covering his back in jagged pink lines. Gale shuddered to think how long it must have taken for someone to carve such an image into his companion’s skin. 

“I suppose it shouldn’t be too much hassle. But of course I won’t do it for free, you’ll have to give me something in exchange.”

“What the hells are you doing?” came an angry voice from behind them. Tav had returned, and was looking absolutely furious as they marched towards the table. 

“Oh, uh, hello darling. I was just asking your friend here-“

“Are you seriously discussing things with a devil right now? Do you have any idea how dangerous this is, Astarion?”

“If I may interrupt-“ began Raphael. 

“No, you may not. Get the fuck out of this bar, and don’t show your ugly demon face around me or my team unless you want to lose it.”

“Duly noted.” said Raphael and clicked his fingers. 

“No, wait!” yelled Astarion, but the man had already disappeared in a cloud of thick sulphuric smoke. 

“What the fuck are you doing? Both of you.” demanded Tav. 

“We had no idea he was a devil, he tricked us!” stammered Gale. 

“Right, but that didn’t stop Astarion from trying to make a deal with him, did it? What is it about this scar that requires a devil’s input?”

“I-I simply wanted a translation. Who knows what awful text has been written on me?” stuttered Astarion, panicked. 

“Have you been drinking?! I can smell it on both of you. This is madness, making a drunken deal with a devil for a fucking translation. Was it worth it to risk all of our lives?”

“Darling, I’m-“

“Don’t come to the room tonight, find somewhere else to sleep.” Tav stormed up the stairs and slammed the door to their room. 

Notes:

I stg I didn’t mean the two drunk and high chapters to line up like this lmao

Chapter 14

Gale winced at the memory of Tav’s reaction to their conversation with Raphael. Glancing over at Astarion, the edges of his scar still slightly visible above the edge of the blanket, he wondered what could be so important about it that he needed to make a deal with a devil for a translation. 

After the confrontation, Astarion had gone into some kind of panic state and completely shut down. He had still been shirtless thanks to Raphael’s dramatic reveal, so Gale helped him back to his tent and gave him the sleeping bag to cover up. Astarion’s things were in the room with Tav and Gale’s only clothing was the suit of pyjamas he was still wearing. He had been washing them in the rivers when they stopped for camp, but they had still grown tattered enough that he knew Astarion wouldn’t be pleased to share.

Eventually the vampire had calmed down enough to sleep and Gale must have followed not long after. Phew. No drunken escapades, at least not of a sexual nature. 

Astarion began to stir. Upon realising the unfamiliar surroundings he sat bolt upright, looking at Gale in shock. Then he noticed his lack of shirt. 

“Oh hells” he said, burying his face in his hands. “We didn’t, did we?”

“No! It’s not like that”

“Oh thank gods. I really didn’t want to have to watch you cry when I told you it was a one-off. Wait- but why am I here? And where’s my shirt?”

Gale gave him a rundown of what he remembered. 

“Well, shit. How could you let me do this Gale?”

“Let you!? You were the one who suggested drinking in the first place! And I wasn’t exactly expecting you to try and make a deal with a devil.”

“Ughhhh. Tav’s going to kick me out, aren’t they?

Gale had to admit- things weren’t looking good. “I’m sure if you apologise they’ll let you stay. They probably just reacted harshly in the moment.”

“It’s worth a try I suppose.”

They wandered over to the Inn to see if Tav was still there. Gale waited downstairs, but after only a few short moments Astarion was back. They had already left for the day. 

“I might as well start finding accessories for my new tentacles. I’m so fucking stupid” Astarion buried his face in his hands. 

“Hey! You’re not stupid,” said Gale gently, “I’m sure you had a perfectly valid reason for needing a translation of your scar”

“Yes, and a fat lot of good that was. I didn’t even get to make a deal!”

“What was so important that you were willing to deal with a devil?”

“It’s stupid, really.” Astarion sighed, “ Cazador spent hours carving this into my back, he told me it was his favourite poem. But when Tav said it was Infernal… I don’t know, I just feel like he’s up to something. I need to know what it says.”

“What does it imply? If it is Infernal?”

“I’m not sure, but it can’t be good.”

“Then I’ll help you find a way to translate it.” Gale said with certainty. 

“Hah. Unless you happen to have an Infernal dictionary lying around I doubt that will be happening any time soon. Or do they teach it in schools back in your world?”

“I don’t know, we’ll find a way. If we have to talk to Raphael again, so be it.”

Right on cue in a cloud of sulphur, the man appeared before them. “You know what they say about speaking of devils.” He said with a sly grin. “I believe we were reaching an agreement before we were so rudely interrupted last night.”

“What would you have me do?” Asked Astarion. 

“A simple follow up on a contract. I’ll need you to find an associate of mine and kill him.”

“You want us to kill a man?” exclaimed Gale. 

“No, I want him to kill a devil.” He responded, gesturing at Astarion. “Don’t worry dear human, he’ll awake all shiny and new back in the Hells where he belongs.”

“Deal.” said Astarion bluntly. 

“Perfect.” Raphael clasped his hands together in satisfaction “You’ll find him in a temple hidden in the Thorm Mausoleum. Au revoir little spawn.” as quickly as he appeared he was gone. 

“So what were you saying about helping me?” asked Astarion. 

—

The two of them made a plan of attack. It probably wouldn’t be the best idea to go on a life threatening mission with a wicked hangover, so they decided they would sneak out tomorrow after the others had left. 

They spent the rest of the day making preparations. Gale searched out a variety of spells he thought might be useful, and Astarion sharpened his dagger and tightened his bow string. 

Gale eyed him curiously as he did so. “Do you know how to use that thing?”

“What, the bow?” Astarion looked down at the weapon in his hands “Of course. I have quite a deadly shot, in fact.”

“Since when?”

“Since pretty much always.”

Gale was taken aback “What? Does Tav know?” 

“Of course not, if Tav knew then they would actually make me go out and fight with everyone. Ugh.”

Gale scoffed. “So this whole time you’ve just been pretending to be incompetent so you didn’t have to go out and get your hands dirty?”

“Better than actually being incompetent, like some of us.” Astarion retorted. 

There was a soft thwump as Tara landed on the ground in front of them, looking slightly worse for wear. There was blood and what looked like chunks of brain matter into her fur. 

“Apologies for my appearance,” she said after Gale had enchanted himself and Astarion. “I’ve had a very rough twenty-four hours.”

She told them about how she had further investigated the “meaty being” in the walls, and ended up finding her way into some kind of small Mindflayer colony hidden beneath the towers. Somehow that had been the least disturbing part: inside of the Mindflayer colony she had found a makeshift Necromancy lab. 

“It was a kind of Necromancy I have never seen before, certainly something Mystra would strongly forbid. I believe the spell caster involved may be an agent of Myrkhul, the god of death.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I do not wish to describe in detail the horrors that lay in that place. But believe me when I say one could easily fill a small town with all the bodies piled up there.”

“So what could god-level necromancy have to do with mind flayers?”

“That’s a very good question. No mind flayer I have heard of would let a wizard set up shop inside their colony. I’m beginning to believe your theory may hold some weight.”

“You think somehow this necromancer could have altered the tadpoles? Or could they be controlling the mind flayers themselves?”

“There’s no way to know right now. But Mr. Dekarios, if you are correct- it could mean that there are hundreds, if not thousands more infected than we imagined.” She furrowed her brow. “I believe it is possible Enver Gortash has been having tadpoles delivered to MoonriseTowers to be somehow adulterated so he can control the people of Baldur’s Gate.”

“But what does this have to do with the Absolute? Isn’t Moonrise Towers the base for the cultists?” asked Gale. There were so many moving parts, his head was beginning to hurt. 

“And what of Ketheric Thorm?” came a voice from behind them, causing all three to jump. 

It was Lae’zel, back early on her own from the expedition. 

“Lae’zel! How long have you been standing there?”

“I did not initially intend to eavesdrop, however the intensity of your conversation with this feline caught my attention. I drank a potion of Animal Speaking.”

“Oh. Um,” Gale stuttered. 

“Ketheric Thorm has been working with a Necromancer named Balthazar.” Lae’zel stated bluntly. 

“Could you perhaps back up a little?” Interjected Astarion “First of all, why are you back so soon?”

“Shadowheart discovered a temple for her false goddess. I did not wish to participate.”

“And who the hell is Ketheric Thorm?” Astarion

“Has the Tiefling not been keeping you informed?” She Asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Ah, well you see.” started Astarion “Tav and I had a little… disagreement last night. So we aren’t really up to date with your adventures, no.”

“Chk, Tav is straining under the pressure of leadership. The cultists are led by a man named Ketheric Thorm. Our infiltration of the Tower led us to witness his power to heal from any mortal wound.”

“Thorm… isn’t that the name of the Mausoleum Raphael told us about?” asked Astarion.

“It was within the Mausoleum that we discovered the temple. What business do you have there?” Asked Lae’zel suspiciously. 

“Oh, um. That’s of no relevance.” Astarion waved his hand in dismissal.

“Hold on, Thorm is unkillable?” Gale asked, shocked. “ And this is Balthazar’s doing?” 

“We believe he is harnessing a powerful weapon called the Nightsong, which is said to be found within the temple.” 

“The real question is how is any of this connected?” Astarion interjected. “An immortal leader of the cult of the Absolute, a powerful necromancer, enchanted tadpoles, a corrupt Baldur’s Gate politician… what does it all mean?” 

“It means we still have a lot of research to do.” Said Tara, swishing her tail impatiently. “Can this Githyanki be trusted?”

Gale and Astarion both looked at Lae’zel, who remained as steel-faced as ever. 

“I do not believe Tav would react well to hearing we have discovered this without them, a mark of a poor leader.” Said Lae’zel with a sour expression “They would have us stay submissive while they make tactical errors to preserve their ego.”

“So that means…?” urged Gale. 

“We must find the connection between the Absolute and the Ghaik. If Tav does not cooperate then I will force them to stand down.” She crossed her arms purposefully across her chest. 

“Understood” said Gale, impressed at her decisiveness “Then you can be our man on the inside Lae’zel, as long as you still have Tav’s trust”

“Perhaps due to your istik standards you misunderstand my power, I am no man.”

“No! I didn’t mean to imply it!” He responded, flustered “I just meant that you can gather information from Tav as long as they’re not speaking to us.”

“Agreed. So I assume this feline can trust me?”

“Trust may be a little strong,” sighed Tara “but this is the best we can do. Then I will get some rest, I had to kill several brain creatures on my way out of that awful place.” She padded off towards Gale’s tent. 

Gale turned towards his two companions. “If we’re serious about this, we should try and find out how the others are feeling about our dear leader. I didn’t mention it but I already had a conversation with Karlach along a similar line, although it was far before this new knowledge.”

“Karlach? Hah, I knew that girl had a good judgement of character.” said Astarion with an amused expression. “Although she’s trying to date Shadowheart so maybe not…”

“How about this evening we try and casually gauge how the others are feeling? Who do we still need to talk to…? Wyll, Halsin and Shadowheart.”

“Ooh I’ll talk to the Blade of Frontiers” said Astarion with a dramatic swoon.

“Ok I’ll talk to Shadowheart. Lae’zel, you…” he looked at the Githyanki, realising she probably wasn’t capable of being subtle. “You make sure Tav doesn’t get suspicious. Astarion and I can talk to Halsin when we’re done.”

“I assure you I am a skilled interrogator.”

“I don’t doubt that. At all. But we wouldn’t want to… blow your cover. Plus we need someone to find out what they know about the Nightsong.”

“Understood.”

–

Tav was still ignoring them when the group returned, but Gale couldn’t help but notice that Shadowheart was looking extremely pissed off. Karlach was anxiously keeping distance from her, as if she was scared to say something wrong. 

Maybe this was a good opportunity to talk to Shadowheart, Gale pulled her aside. 

“Hey, Shadowheart. Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine.” She said curtly. 

“Are you sure? Things were looking a little tense when you came back.”

“You would be tense yourself if your group leader would try and prevent you from achieving the ultimate act of servitude to your goddess.” She looked pointedly in the direction of Tav. 

“What are you talking about?”

“Tav. They told me they didn’t have a problem with me worshipping Shar, even though they’re a Paladin of Tyr. But when it comes to actually serving my Lady, suddenly it’s too much?”

“Did something happen at the temple?” Gale pressed. 

“It wasn’t just any temple, Gale. It was the Gauntlet of Shar, the location where one can undergo the trials to become a Dark Justiciar.” Shadowheart gave a frustrated sigh. “It was thought to have been destroyed when all the Justiciars were killed, but here we are in one of the lost, holiest sites of the Dark Mistress and Tav pulls out the oath card!!”

“What does becoming a Dark Justiciar entail?” Asked Gale, intrigued as to why Tav would forbid something so seemingly innocuous. 

“It is the highest service to the Lady of Darkness. One must prove oneself in a series of trials and… well, I have to spill the blood of a Selûnite.” She said with a sheepish look. 

Shadowheart wanted to murder someone? Gale pressed on “I don’t mean to offend, but why would Lady Shar require you to kill someone? It does seem pretty drastic.”

“You sound just like Karlach!” She raised her hands in exasperation. “I thought you of all people would understand, considering what you’re willing to do for Mystra.”

“Woah, woah. I wasn’t judging! Just trying to understand the situation. So Tav thinks allowing you to kill a Selûnite would go against their oath?”

“Yeah, completely ignoring whatever mental gymnastics they had to do to justify leaving you behind. Fucking hypocrite.” 

“And Karlach…?”

“Well, you know Karlach. I admit, it makes sense that she doesn’t understand my faith. She spent all those years in the Hells, and it is… sweet to see how happy she is in the light.” She trailed off, giving a wistful smile. Then she shook her head, before continuing. “But the light is an illusion, if only she would know my Lady’s dark embrace perhaps she would see why this is so important to me. It’s just one silly old moon bitch follower.”

Gale was having a hard time pretending to follow any of this. Was Shadowheart’s goddess bad? He had previously thought the whole darkness thing was just her being poetic, but he was starting to think he had seriously misjudged the cleric.

“Um. Right. So, what are you going to do then?”

“I don’t know. It seems I will have to undergo the trials so we can get to the Nightsong anyway, so maybe I can just find a stray Selûnite while Tav’s not looking.”

“That doesn’t sound like a good idea. What if they kick you out?”

“To hells with Tav. I’m the one with the artefact- which if they recall, was entrusted to my possession by the Dark Mistress. I’m not planning on a fight but I certainly won’t let them get in the way of my calling.”

“Right… good luck with that. I just remembered I have something to do.” It was a lame excuse, but Gale was feeling increasingly uncomfortable at the way the conversation had turned. 

“May darkness guide you.”

—

“So how did things go with Wyll?”

“Let’s just say he reacts very well to compliments. That, and he’s not a fan of Tav.”

“Wow, okay. Do I want to know?”

“Oh it’s nothing like that, darling. I just asked him to tell me some stories about being a hero and it was easy from there.”

“Okay. Well Shadowheart was… is Shadowheart evil?”

“She can certainly be prickly but evil might be a bit strong of a term. Or do you mean the whole Shar thing?”

“Yes. She told me Shar wants her to kill a Selûnite, and she’s actually mad that Tav won’t go along with it. But is Shar evil?”

“I think most Selûnites would say so- probably even most Sharrans. Didn’t all the moody, brooding darkness talk tip you off?”

“No! I just thought she was being poetic. She seems so nice.”

“To be honest I think she’s all bark and no bite. She’s just looking for a place to fit in, and the Temple of Shar provided that for her. Isn’t it how most religions work?”

“I suppose so. Well either way she’s pissed off enough at Tav that I’ll be surprised if she doesn’t overthrow them herself. So that just leaves Halsin.”

“Hmm, so about that.” 

“… yes?”

“I may have knocked on Tav’s door to try and give apologising another go. And, well, I don’t think Halsin will have our backs. He was a little too busy getting Tav on their back, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh- Ugh. Sorry, Astarion. That’s a rough way to find out.”

“Honestly it was kind of a relief. Now I don’t even have to feel guilty once we betray them.”

“I guess that’s something. We still likely have the majority on our sides, so now all we need is answers- easier said than done.”

“Do we still have time to go to the temple tomorrow?”

“Of course. I did offer to help, and I doubt it would be a good idea to go back on a deal with Raphael anyway.”

“Thank you, Gale. I appreciate it, truly.” there was a sincerity in the vampire's eyes that Gale hadn’t seen before. 

“Anything for a friend in need.”

“Don’t push it. Well, I’d better get my beauty sleep if we’re going to kill a demon. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Notes:

Sorry for the lack of updates, my dog is dying :(

Chapter 15

Notes:

Oops forgot to add earlier:
Cw for more detailed descriptions of canon typical violence than previous chapters

Gale and Astarion stood before the entrance to a grand mausoleum. Gale had been excited to get out of the extremely haunted-seeming graveyard they had needed to travel through to get there, but now he wasn’t so sure this was a better option. 

According to Raphael, the temple entrance should be hidden inside the mausoleum. All Gale could see were a bunch of very macabre sculptures that appeared to be made of human bones. 

They headed further inside, where they could see the remains of several disarmed traps and what looked like a puzzle to reveal the entrance of the temple. It had already been solved, probably by Tav and their group the day before. 

The entrance to the temple was grandly decorated with a statue of a beautiful woman. The room was almost pitch black save for the rings of light illuminating the figure. Lae’zel had told them that Tav and the gang were planning on coming back today so they could try and find the Nightsong again. They would have to be careful to avoid running into the group. 

They walked silently through the huge, shadowy halls of the temple. It really was quite a marvellous structure, Gale had to admit, even if it was dedicated to an evil goddess. At this point they had reached a large room that was filled with small piles of bones and armour. “A fight against a necromancer?” supposed Astarion. 

There was a door on each end of the room, they would have to make a decision which way to go. “We should probably go in the opposite direction of the piles of bones if we don’t want to run into Tav.” Noted Gale. 

“Yes, I vote no bones,” agreed Astarion. 

They walked down the corridor which was mostly bone-free, save for the occasional “art piece” similar to the ones in the mausoleum. 

“Did you see that?” Asked Astarion. 

“See what?”

“I thought I saw something down there. An animal maybe”

“Let’s hope it’s friendly”

The corridor led down to a flight of stairs which had at some point been shattered apart, leaving a jagged chasm in the middle. 

“You don’t have a spell to help us across?”

“Sorry, forgot to pack “Scroll of repair staircase””

“Ha-ha. You know there’s spells to improve your jump distance, right?”

“Excuse me for not having learned every single spell since I got here barely a few weeks ago.”

“Touchy. Well just have to try and make it then.”

Astarion made it over quite easily, Gale on the other hand stumbled on the landing and fell quite hard on his hip. “Shit. Ow.” That was definitely going to leave a bruise. He struggled to his feet, testing his weight on the leg. 

“We’re doomed aren’t we? Can’t even make it five bloody metres into the temple without hurting yourself.”

“I didn’t have to come. You’re the one who says I should try enjoying myself, and this is definitely not enjoyable!”

“Shh!” Astarion had seen something. He crouched down and gestured for Gale to follow. 

Down the hallway was a doorway from which torchlight was streaming out into the dark corridor. They silently crept towards it. 

“Seems like the perfect spot for an ambush” whispered Astarion. He leaned over to peer through the doorway. 

“What do you see?” Whispered Gale. 

“The animal from before. It’s a displacer beast, it seems to be guarding some kind of orb.” 

“Let me have a look” Gale leaned over Astarion to try and catch a peek, and locked eyes with the creature. Shit. It jumped upward to an unseen platform. 

“It’s not often I get visitors down here” came a deep, gravelly voice from where the creature had disappeared. 

They walked further into the room, where they could see the upper level was covered with dozens of infernal creatures wearing creepy masks that looked like baby doll faces. Standing in the middle of them, with the leopard at his side, was a devil. 

He was a hulking mountain of muscle with red skin and three huge pairs of horns, just like a creature from a storybook.

“Wait, I can smell him on you. Raphael, where is he?”

“Ah, so you must be Raphael’s associate,” said Astarion. 

“That bastard trapped me here. What does he want?”

“Well, I also entered an agreement with him. Maybe we can help each other out? Why don’t you show me your contract?” asked Astarion. 

“What could you possibly know about infernal contracts?” growled the devil. 

“I studied law. Maybe we can find a loophole”

Was this a bluff? Astarion mentioned being a Magistrate, but Gale had assumed that it had been another lie. 

“Hmph. It’s not a written contract. It goes like this.”

He started to sing, deep and off-key. The lyrics detailed how he was to kill all of the Dark Justiciars, as well as anyone who heard the contract.

“I killed all of the Dark Justiciars centuries ago, but here I am, this song still rattling around in my head. Now you’ve heard it- so I guess I have to kill you as well,” the creature reached behind his back for a large crossbow that was strapped there. 

“Just wait a second! Since the contract mentioned having to kill anyone who heard it, what about your friends here?” He gestured at the crowd of masked creatures. 

“These guys? They can barely think.”

“My dear friend, the ticket out of here has been staring you right in the face.”

“Well, they do have ears. I guess it’s worth a shot.” The hulking demon turned towards the crowd behind him. “Kill yourselves.”

The creatures took their axes and brutally disembowelled each other, blood pouring down off the platform. The devil, however, remained unchanged. Anger flashed across his face. “I still hear it! Seems your theory was wrong!” He pulled the crossbow out and aimed it at them. 

“The displacer!” Yelled Astarion frantically. “She heard it as well!”

He looked over at the creature, who drew back in fear. “I’m sorry Nessa,” he said, and turned the crossbow on the poor thing. Realising yet again that he hadn’t been freed, the devil grew furious, and turned his weapon back on the increasingly panicked pair. 

“You heard it as well!” tried Astarion. “You just need to kill yourself and you’ll wake up back in the hells completely free.”

“I’m not falling for it this time” he roared, and pulled the trigger sending a red hot bolt flying directly towards Astarion. 

He dodged out of the way before casting Misty Step to reach the high ground, smoothly pulling his bow from behind him and aiming at the huge creature’s head. Before he could release the shot the devil vanished, having turned himself completely invisible. 

Gale was frozen to the spot, his heart racing as he stared at the vampire. Astarion hadn’t been lying, he was clearly well practiced with the weapon, his posture sturdy as he held back the string. There was something about seeing the man look so expertly focused. Was Gale… aroused right now? 

“Gale, do something!” Yelled Astarion, snapping Gale out of whatever the fuck just happened. He sprung into action, teleporting himself onto the platform opposite Astarion and casting Mage Armour. 

“Where is he?” Called Astarion, glancing around the suspiciously quiet room. 

“How should I know?!” Responded Gale frantically.

“Behind you” came the devil’s gravelly voice as he reappeared, his dagger on a direct path to Gale’s abdomen. Gale managed to jump backwards at the last second, the dagger barely managing to snag his clothing but leaving a sticky green residue. Poison. 

Before he had time to respond, Astarion took a shot, hitting the demon square in the chest. With barely a reaction to the arrow buried deep in his skin, he responded by scattering a handful of small explosives across the platform near the pair’s feet before disappearing again. 

Gale tried to clear his mind, how could he prevent the attacker from becoming invisible again? Or at very least force him out of it. He also had to worry about getting himself away from these mines before they had a chance to explode. 

He teleported himself across to the other side of the platform, hoping to buy some time. Perhaps if he sent a bunch of Magic Missiles out he could see if one of them hit something? It was worth a try. 

He launched 5 glowing red lights in a spread around him, watching carefully for any of them to hit. Shit. All of them reached the walls of the room before fizzling out. He wouldn’t be able to waste too much of his power just hoping to find something. 

He looked over to Astarion who had managed to make his own way out of the danger of the mines. He saw as the creature materialised behind him, and before Gale could yell a warning, he came down hard with his dagger, hitting Astarion in the shoulder. The weapon lodged deep into his shoulder, with a disgusting crackle of snapping tendons and fracturing bone. 

“ Dissolutum!” As if in a trance, Gale felt himself yelling the spell as a ray of green light shot from his finger. The demon disintegrated instantly into a pile of ash. That definitely hadn’t been one of the spells Gale had prepared for today. 

Astarion had fallen to the floor, clutching his shoulder in agony as poison started to enter his system. Gale scrambled to help him, reaching for his pouch before he realised. He was a fucking idiot. 

“A-Astarion” Gale stuttered desperately “I forgot the healing potions”. He had been so focused on finding spells that he had forgotten they existed. 

“How the hells did you forget? Ah-!“ Astarion winced in pain. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. The others are here somewhere, aren’t they? Do you think you can walk?”

“I can try, help me up”. Gale took Astarion’s good arm and hooked it around his neck to hoist him to his feet. “Agh!” the man cried, barely able to get his footing. “No, no I’m too dizzy…” his eyes were unable to focus as he slumped heavily against Gale’s side. There’s no way he would be able to get him to safety. 

He gently lowered Astarion to the ground. “I’m going to go and get you some help, okay? I’m going to find Shadowheart.” He said softly. 

“No! Please, don’t leave.” Astarion looked terrified, he grabbed Gale’s wrist with surprising strength. “Just- just find me some blood!” He croaked. 

Gale looked around, spotting one of the demon’s dead minions close by on the platform. He started trying to drag it over. “That won’t work,” said Astarion desperately. “It can’t already be dead.”

Hadn’t Gale seen a bunch of rats running around earlier? Where were they now that he needed them? Then it dawned on him. 

Gale rolled up his sleeve and pressed his wrist towards the vampire's mouth. Astarion’s nose crinkled slightly in disgust, but he seemed to also realise that there was no other option. 

“Are you sure?” Astarion asked shakily.

“Yes.” Responded Gale firmly. “Just don’t take too much.”

The vampire bit down, hard. Ice cold pain shot through Gale’s arm as he felt his blood being pulled out of him. Slowly though, it was replaced by a feeling of tingling numbness- did vampires have venom? He started to relax as the sensation spread through his body. Hmm, this was nice. 

Just as Gale was beginning to feel lightheaded, Astarion tore his mouth away in disgust. “Ugh. You taste like bile!” He spat, wiping the blood away from his mouth. Gale couldn’t help but giggle at this. Astarion was so funny. 

“You’re funny,” said Gale. He never told Astarion how much he liked his jokes. Why not? He deserved to hear nice things. 

“Oh hells,” said Astarion, looking concerned  “this was a terrible idea.”

“Nooooo… don’t be sad” said Gale, reaching out to touch Astarion’s pretty face. Why was he sad? Why was there blood? “I wish I could make you not sad. You deserve nice things.” 

“Ok, well. Whatever is wrong with your blood is some powerful stuff.” Said Astarion, “I barely had a few mouthfuls and I feel… strong.”

“Oh? Isn’t that lovely.” Said Gale. Astarion was lovely. And pretty. Even if he did have blood all over his mouth. He touched one of the white curls of hair near Astarion’s pointed ear.

“You’re beautiful…” said Gale in amazement. Why hadn’t he realised this before? 

“Okay, clearly you’re not reacting well to the venom. But I think I’m fine now to get us out of here” Astarion wrapped Gale’s arms around his neck from behind. It was nice, Gale loved hugs. But then Astarion tried to stand up, pulling on Gale’s arms to try and bring him to his feet. Gale felt all floppy. 

“You have to hold on!” Hissed Astarion in frustration. 

“It’s too hard to hug you when you’re standing.” whined Gale “My arms don’t work good.” 

“Okay. I brought this on myself” murmured Astarion. “Fine. We’ll just have to do it the hard way.” He laid Gale back down on the floor, before scooping his arms underneath him and lifting him up against his chest. 

Gale rested his head against Astarion. His muscles felt so strong. Like a prince saving a princess. Gale was a princess. He felt safe. 

Astarion started walking, but Gale closed his eyes and enjoyed the embrace. It didn’t really matter where they were going. He was just happy to be there in Astarion’s strong arms. 

From somewhere in the distance he could hear voices. Oh! It must be his friends! 

“Shadowh-“ he called out, before Astarion clamped a hand down over his mouth. “Shh!” He whispered. Gale stuck out his tongue to see how Astarion’s hand tasted. Like coins. 

“Ugh! Did you just lick me?!” Cried Astarion. 

“What was that?” Said one of the voices in the distance. It was Gale! And he was a princess! He wanted to tell them, but Astarion’s hand was still over his mouth. “Don’t you fucking dare” he hissed. 

“It came from down there!” Said another voice. It sounded like Tav. Tav was so mean and rude. They were not nice to Astarion. Astarion deserved nice people. Like Gale. 

Gale should tell that to Tav! He struggled to get out of Astarion’s arms, but he must have really needed a hug because he wouldn’t let go. “Stop!” whispered Astarion desperately. How sweet, if only Gale had known how cuddly he was sooner. They could have had some lovely evenings together by the fire. 

But he couldn’t let Tav keep being a bully. You have to stand up to bullies. He pushed away as hard as he could and tumbled to the floor with a crash. 

He could hear the sounds of people running towards him. 

“What the fuck did you do?!” Yelled Tav. “Wh-what are you? Did you kill him?” Why did they think Astarion killed him? Was it the blood on his mouth?

“No! I swear it isn’t what it looks like!” responded Astarion desperately. “Please let me explain!”

“Tav?” mumbled Gale. “You’re so mean. I don’t like you. Stop being mean to Astarion.” 

There. That’ll show ‘em. 

“Gale? Are you hurt?” that was Shadowheart. She was really nice even though she was evil. Why did she think he was hurt?

“No? I’m fine. I love you guys. Except Tav. Fuck off Tav.”

“He must have compelled him with his vampire powers, he’s clearly delusional.” said Tav. 

“I’m not a full vampire! I’m just a spawn-“ started Astarion.

“Stay the fuck back!” Yelled Tav. “Gale, did he drink your blood?”

“Astarion was hurt. I gave him my blood to make him better. I like Astarion very much, so it’s okay.”

Why was everyone turning sideways? The lights were turning out. Gale fell asleep.

Notes:

I had the week off last week and used it to queue up some chapters, enjoy ;)

Chapter 16: Interlude

Notes:

Very short wizard!Gale interlude with cw for mentions of grooming

Gale arrived anxiously at the Cafe where he and Rolan had agreed to meet, and was waved over by a man slightly younger than himself. 

“Gale!” The man gave him a quick hug. “It’s so good to see you again.” 

“I wish I could say the same,” said Gale apologetically. “Rolan, I presume?”

“So you really have forgotten everything.” He said with an astonished look. “Not that I didn’t believe you, it’s just… wow. I’m sorry.”

Gale still had no clue how he was going to broach the topic of alternate universes, or even if it would be safe to do so. But he was also aware that this may be his only lead, so he had to at least try. 

“No problem, it is quite a set of extenuating circumstances.”

They took their seats at one of the tables outside and a waiter approached them. “Still take your coffee the same way?” Asked Rolan. 

“I wouldn’t know, but I’ll trust that I had good taste.”

Rolan ordered two “flat whites” and the waiter went back inside. 

“So how much do you remember of our time at university?”

“Not much at all. I was able to gather some information from my old journals, but a lot of it is pretty contextual. I guess I wasn’t planning on having complete memory loss.”

“Well, where to begin? We were on the research team together- Mystra’s one. You know who that is, right?” Rolan asked cautiously. 

“Pretty much.”

“You were a masters student and I was still an undergrad- I was mostly there as the assistant to Larroakan, one of the other professors on the team. Real jerk.” He grimaced. “You were the one who helped me decide to leave that mess, which I’m still thankful for.”

Larroakan… hadn’t Gale heard that name before? Oh, right. He was a relatively high profile wizard from Baldur’s Gate, not exactly something Gale could bring up just yet. 

“Why did I end up working at the library?” 

“I was hoping someone else might have explained that to you.” Rolan shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Of course if you really wish to know, I’ll tell you. But perhaps forgetting that specific period of time could be… a blessing in disguise.”

Now Gale was even more curious. What could have possibly happened that he would be better off forgetting? 

“I think I would still like to know.”

“If you insist, though I must warn you- it’s not a pleasant story.”  The waiter came back with their drinks, and Rolan ripped open one of the paper packages that was in a glass on the table and poured its contents into his mug. “You were romantically involved with Mystra. There was such a big age gap between the two of you, and you looked up to her so much, I think you were a little bit blind to what was going on.” 

Gale copied, pouring a sachet into his own drink. “Which was?”

“You were in love with her, you thought the relationship was serious. But Mystra… well, she didn't see it that way.”

“A little heartbreak hardly could have caused me to give up on my dreams?” Gale took a sip of his beverage, and savoured the unusual yet delicious taste. 

“It was more than that. The day we graduated, you proposed to her in front of the whole team. Mystra was absolutely mortified. Not long after, you made an announcement that there had been nothing going on between you and the proposal had been entirely one-sided.”

Wow. So not all too different from his own Mystra- if one changed all of the details. 

“From that point on, it was like a switch had flipped- all of your passion for physics was gone. None of us saw you for a long time, eventually through the grapevine we heard you had gotten a job at the library.”

“I see. Makes sense, I suppose.”

“It was an awful shame. Of course, we were all aware of her… preferences, so we could guess what was really going on. She was a lot more careful with her relationships after that.”

“Well, thank you for telling me. It does explain a lot.”

Rolan gave an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry I couldn’t have told you a nicer story. It wasn’t all bad though, we certainly had our fair share of triumphs and shenanigans.”

“What exactly were we studying?”

“Do you remember the fundamentals of Quantum mechanics? Because if not, we’re going to be here a very long time.”

“About that…” Gale said sheepishly. “Maybe you could try and give me a basic explanation?”

“I don’t know how basic I can get… imagine you have a very messy room. Over time it gets messier- that’s entropy. Now imagine there’s a magic spell that can make it get cleaner over time instead. You were studying if that magic spell could theoretically work in a closed room.”

“Fascinating! So our research had nothing to do with alternate universes, then?” 

“What?” Rolan looked a little confused. “No, that wasn’t really our focus. Why?”

“I was just curious, that’s all.” 

Rolan raised an eyebrow. “I still know that look, Gale. You have something, don’t you?”

Gale hesitated. “How much do you know about alternate universe theory?” He needed to gauge Rolan’s reaction before giving him the full story. 

“Not any more than the basics, from a quantum mechanics standpoint, I mean.”

“What if someone could prove it to be true?”

Rolan considered this. “That would be amazing, but it would depend on the proof of course. Something so highly theoretical would need a lot of hard scientific evidence for anyone to take it seriously.”

“Hm.” Gale didn’t have any proof, except for the experiences in his head. It wasn’t like he could share that, was it? 

“So you invite me for a chat after god knows how long, tell me you have amnesia, then grill me about alternate universe theory? What is it you’re not telling me?”

Gale took a deep breath, bracing himself. “I’m aware that this is going to sound completely crazy. But before you send me off to the psych ward, please just promise to hear me out.”

Rolan looked uncomfortable with the direction this was going. “Gale… what’s going on?”

“The truth is… I don’t have memory loss at all. I believe I may have actually traveled between universes. Perhaps even swapped places with this world’s Gale.”

Rolan just stared at him, his expression impossible to read. 

“I don’t have any way to prove it, only a lifetime of detailed memories from another reality. I promise you, I’m not crazy.”

“Is this some kind of prank?” Asked Rolan slowly. 

“I am being 100% serious. If there’s any feasible way you could think to prove it, any test at all, I would be willing to take it.”

Rolan stayed silent for a few moments. “You’re right, this does sound crazy. I honestly don’t know if I can believe you, but I do think that you think you’re telling the truth.”

Gale's stomach dropped. Rolan definitely thought he had gone mad. 

Rolan continued. “I don’t know of any way I could help you. But I do know someone who might be able to- Elminster is his name.”

“Elminster? I know him! From my world, at least. How can he help me?”

“He’s known for his more… experimental methods and ideas. He might be willing to hear you out, although he is notoriously hard to contact.”

“I see. Is there any way I might be able to find him?”

“Last I heard he was living in Salisbury, a few hours from here. I might be able to ask around and see if I can get anything more specific.”

“That would be amazing, Rolan.” 

“I should warn you though,” he said with a serious expression, “He’s been ostracised from many reputable scientific spaces. It’s unlikely that anyone else will take you seriously, should you choose to work with him.”

“I don’t need anyone to take me seriously, I just need one person to believe me. And who better than Elminster? A man I trust more than anyone- it’s no less than fate.”

Rolan gave an uncomfortable kind of smile. “Then I wish you all the best. I’d better get going, I have an appointment. Once I hear anything about Elminster’s whereabouts I’ll let you know.”

“Thank you, Rolan. Truly. I know this is quite an unbelievable situation and not many would give the benefit of the doubt, so I don’t take that lightly.”

“It was nice to catch up, Gale. I hope you find what you’re looking for.” Rolan stood up and gave him a small pat on the shoulder. “I’ll take care of the bill.”

“No please, let me. It’s the least I can do.”

He gave a grateful nod and left Gale to finish his drink alone. 

—-

“So, still sane?” Asked Astarion. 

“Only as much as yesterday.” 

“Perfect. See you tomorrow,” Astarion turned to leave, then hesitated. “Oh wait, I’m actually going out of town for a few days. I won’t be able to check in on you.”

“What? Where are you going?”

“It’s just a little work trip, nothing special. I’m sure you’ll be fine without me.”

Gale thought back to the fight he had witnessed between Astarion and his boss the other day. The man had wanted Astarion to meet with a client on Friday, was that the trip he was talking about?

“You didn’t answer my question- where exactly are you going?”

“What are you, my Mother? It’s none of your business.” Astarion snapped. 

“Oh, but it is. You’re supposed to be responsible for me. What if I have a mental breakdown while you’re gone?”

“You’re a big boy, Gale. You’ll manage.”

“And if I don’t? You do realise you’re legally responsible for me, according to the contract with my mother. If something were to happen you could be held liable.”

Astarion’s face fell, and Gale continued. “And if our conversation the other night was anything to go by- I do seem to still be feeling quite wizardly.”

“You don’t understand, Gale. I need to go on this trip, this isn’t a game.” His expression was deadly serious. 

“I know. Take me with you.”

“Absolutely not.” Astarion scoffed. “Even if I wanted to, which I don’t, Cazador would kill both of us.”

“Cazador doesn’t need to know.”

“So what, I’ll just smuggle you in the trunk then? Have you sleep in the closet?”

“I can take a room at an inn. You’ll hardly know I’m there.”

Astarion crossed his arms. “Why are you so determined to join me?”

Gale didn’t really know how to answer. He was worried for Astarion’s safety, but he knew the man would never agree under those circumstances. “I just don’t want you getting in trouble, should anything happen to me.” He said eventually. 

“Right. I’m sure it’s keeping you up at night.”

“I’m certain mother can be convinced to make it worth your while.”

“You’re not going to let this drop, are you?”

“Absolutely not. So where are we headed?”

Astarion gave a deep sigh. “Southampton. I’m leaving at 10am. Don’t be late.”

Notes:

I can't believe it's been so long since I updated this fic :'(
I have officially moved halfway across the world and am finally getting around to fixing the huge plot hole I noticed. I have been actively trying to improve my writing for another project I'm working on so editing this fic and trying to keep new additions consistent with the writing style is painful lmao.
Anyway to anybody who stuck around, thank u!!! Love u all <3