Parrot_Assbutt
Fandoms
Recent works
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Tags
Summary
Scenes from the mind of Sammy Lawrence, in debatable order. Disjointed and nonsensical as the song of radio static.
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Day 3 of Writing Stupid Ideas Until Insurance Approves My Medication And I Am Allowed To Focus On Longer Works Once Again by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandoms: The Owl House (Cartoon)
06 Nov 2022
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Summary
What if "Thanks to Them" had ended differently?
What if Hunter had dealt with the Belos threat more directly?Alternate title: Gus is Right, We Should Microwave the Belos Slime
Series
- Part 5 of Crack In A Bag
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Day 2 of Catboying Perfectly Good Men Until My ADHD Gets Back to Manageable Levels by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandoms: Bendy and the Ink Machine
07 Oct 2022
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Summary
It's Halloween at the studio.
Series
- Part 4 of Crack In A Bag
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Day 1 Of Writing Crack Fics Until The Emperor (Me) Gets His Groove Back by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandoms: Bendy and the Ink Machine
24 Sep 2022
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Summary
Sammy's ink hallucinations are recognized and treated much earlier on than in canon. He's still kind of an asshole though.
Series
- Part 3 of Crack In A Bag
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Summary
Sammy was a simple man, with simple needs.
Prequel to "Joey Gets It", written on impulse several years after the fact.Series
- Part 1 of Crack In A Bag
Recent series
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- Words:
- 999
- Works:
- 1
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Crack In A Bag by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandom Bendy and the Ink Machine, The Owl House (Cartoon)
06 Nov 2022
Summary
Assorted Crack fics, some connected, others standalone.
- Words:
- 7,294
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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- Words:
- 2,021
- Works:
- 1
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- Words:
- 1,821
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 13
Recent bookmarks
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Crumbling Walls by Rauchendes_GNU
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
11 Aug 2022
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Summary
His feet were bare, the clothes too thin to keep the cold winter weather of the north at bay. But that wasn’t the most peculiar thing about him. The stranger was bald, his skin pale as the moon. His eyes darted back and forth between the guns and the people holding them. He was as tense as a bow string, ready to fight at the slightest provocation. Jaskier took note of his three people lying on the ground unconsious. One of their guns was in the stranger’s hand, pointing at Aiden. His eyes were wild, and the weirdest thing about him. They were yellow, and slitted like those of a cat, reflecting the light of the flashlights.
~~~
Geralt flees from the men that have mutated his body beyond what's considered to be human. Jaskier just wants some well deserved sleep but ends up with a genetically engineered killing machine and somehow they fit together.Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
01 Mar 2026
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Summary
Jaskier has not spoken in months.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 100
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 8
- Kudos:
- 94
- Bookmarks:
- 7
- Hits:
- 1,494
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
28 Feb 2026
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A Prayer On Your Lips by Rauchendes_GNU
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
05 Dec 2022
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Summary
His parents were wrong. Noble blood, a title, and money weren’t enough to be happy. He hadn’t touched his guitar in months, his grand piano gathering a layer of dust. Jaskier needed inspiration, and he needed it fast.
- Jaskier is more than surprised when established bestseller author Valdo Marx decides to take him under his wing. His first book was a success, but he struggles with inspiration. Marx promises him just that, the secret to fame and fortune. Soon, the young writer finds himself in a horrible situation ...
Series
- Part 5 of gnu attempts to write (sneaky) flash fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,469
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 26
- Kudos:
- 245
- Bookmarks:
- 31
- Hits:
- 1,712
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
28 Feb 2026
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Remember Me by AshesToAshes96
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf (2021), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
06 Jul 2023
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Summary
“I’d like to hear about them.”
“What do you want to know?”
Luka and Vesemir reminisce about what was, what is, and what is to come.
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Winners, Losers, Sinners, Saints by vividneonmanias
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
01 Feb 2026
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Summary
Lambert keeps hanging out with some guy, and the only thing his brothers know about him is his name: Aiden.
Geralt thinks Lambert's hiding his secret boyfriend because of how Vesemir would react to finding out Lambert is gay. Eskel thinks Lambert's hiding his secret boyfriend because Lambert has a bug up his ass about masculinity. Lambert thinks he's hiding his secret boyfriend because of how Vesemir would react to finding out Aiden sells weed. Jaskier thinks Lambert's scared, and just needs a push. Aiden thinks he's had enough family drama for one lifetime with his own family, thanks.
And Vesemir? Vesemir's an ex-hippie hypocrite and the reason all the mechanics at the Morhen and Sons auto shop got that bug up their asses about masculinity. Integrating gay people into The Family™ is kind of difficult! But they do say that many hands make light work...
Alternatively: Jaskier makes a local TV ad for the Morhen and Sons auto shop that goes viral on TikTok
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
20 Feb 2026