Parrot_Assbutt
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Recent works
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Summary
Scenes from the mind of Sammy Lawrence, in debatable order. Disjointed and nonsensical as the song of radio static.
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Day 3 of Writing Stupid Ideas Until Insurance Approves My Medication And I Am Allowed To Focus On Longer Works Once Again by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandoms: The Owl House (Cartoon)
06 Nov 2022
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Summary
What if "Thanks to Them" had ended differently?
What if Hunter had dealt with the Belos threat more directly?Alternate title: Gus is Right, We Should Microwave the Belos Slime
Series
- Part 5 of Crack In A Bag
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Day 2 of Catboying Perfectly Good Men Until My ADHD Gets Back to Manageable Levels by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandoms: Bendy and the Ink Machine
07 Oct 2022
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Summary
It's Halloween at the studio.
Series
- Part 4 of Crack In A Bag
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Day 1 Of Writing Crack Fics Until The Emperor (Me) Gets His Groove Back by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandoms: Bendy and the Ink Machine
24 Sep 2022
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Summary
Sammy's ink hallucinations are recognized and treated much earlier on than in canon. He's still kind of an asshole though.
Series
- Part 3 of Crack In A Bag
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Summary
Sammy was a simple man, with simple needs.
Prequel to "Joey Gets It", written on impulse several years after the fact.Series
- Part 1 of Crack In A Bag
Recent series
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Crack In A Bag by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandom: Bendy and the Ink Machine, The Owl House (Cartoon)
06 Nov 2022
Summary
Assorted Crack fics, some connected, others standalone.
- Words:
- 7,294
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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- Words:
- 2,021
- Works:
- 1
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- Words:
- 999
- Works:
- 1
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- Words:
- 1,821
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 13
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
The first time Lambert sees Jaskier, he thinks the man is a beta. He's walking next to Geralt into Kaer Morhen's courtyard and looking around with wide eyes. Lambert eyes the newcomer suspiciously from the ladder he's perched on and turns his back to them when he spots Eskel coming to welcome him with a smile on his face.
He still keeps an ear on the conversation taking place into the courtyard and decides that he doesn't care if Geralt brought his partner to the keep for the winter. Geralt is a grown man, Geralt lives here too, therefore Geralt is allowed to bring guests.
Or : Lambert and Jaskier are omegas, Jaskier loves it and Lambert hates it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,412
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 539
- Kudos:
- 1,309
- Bookmarks:
- 286
- Hits:
- 20,498
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
12 Sep 2025
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His Friend by anyanp
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
23 Oct 2024
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Summary
“Where’s Jaskier?” The witcher growls, impatient. He needs to get to his bard, before it’s not too late, he needs-
“Geralt, what do you mean? I’m right here,” the creature sounds convincing, but Geralt knows better.
Series
- Part 24 of The Witcher shorts and moments
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
08 Sep 2025
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Your Heart Remains The Same by anyanp
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
24 Nov 2024
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Summary
Julian’s childhood is a nice one. He’s allowed to do anything — as long as it's out of sight of his father — and there’s books and music and the garden.
And then he is given away to a witcher.
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Or in which Jaskier is a witcher, who returns to the Path after two decades of being just a bardBookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
08 Sep 2025
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Summary
Geralt isn’t quite prepared when people start noticing his mating bite.
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
07 Sep 2025
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Summary
Jaskier scrubs the blood from the floor in Kaer Morhen and ignores the burning pain from his right hand.
He's so cold but he doesn't dare light a fire.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,632
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 213
- Kudos:
- 4,663
- Bookmarks:
- 957
- Hits:
- 33,661
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
06 Sep 2025