Chapter Text
PART I: HONGJOONG
{🐿️💗⭐}
His chest aches.
He tries not to remember.
Hongjoong hasn’t been to this part of Seoul in a very long time — and that’s been a conscious decision, not a coincidence. He purposefully avoids coming here. He’ll take the scenic route out of the city. He’ll add significant chunks of time to his daily commute. He’ll close his eyes if a bus he’s on just happens to be diverted anywhere near the boundaries of the neighbourhood. And that's worked out for him, for the most part. He still feels upset when he thinks about it, when he recalls his life here, his life before, but it’s not enough to derail his day. Usually.
So, now, he tries to frame it casually. He tries to wave it off. He’s a designer; he can be bold, and creative, and ambitious. He can conjure up a little pretence and see things differently. This is just a place he hasn’t been to since he was a little boy. This is just a place he lived once. This is just the place he was raised in, if you could call how his parents treated him ‘raising’.
Back then, he’d spent every waking moment dreaming up a brighter future for himself and for his best friend, Wooyoung. He’d fantasised about them escaping the neighbourhood together, about setting himself free, about never coming back. And it had been the only thing, aside from Wooyoung, that had actually mattered to him. It that been the only thing that had kept him going — that idea that he would outgrow, and outshine, and forget this place forever.
It’s almost astonishing, Hongjoong thinks, how little has changed around here. More than ten years must have come and gone since he last set foot on these chaotic streets. Still, everything seems to be exactly the same — the grubby architecture, the barely surviving family businesses, the gloomy atmosphere, the heavy feeling that it sows deep inside his chest.
If he hadn’t left when he did, if he hadn’t escaped the moment he could... would he still be stuck in time, would he be trapped here too? What would have become of him? Would he have lived long enough to become anything?
So many of Hongjoong’s enduring memories are woven into the fabric of this place, hidden away in its hems. And now, being back here, he’s remembering things that he hasn’t remembered in years. Things he'd rather never remember again.
He can see the slanted gingko tree, searching hopelessly for the sun. Under its branches, he’d ripped open the letter telling him he’d won a full scholarship to study fashion on the other side of the city.
He can see the dilapidated convenience store, where he’d worked diligently for three entire days, only to be accused of stealing money. He'd been fired immediately, but he hadn’t been allowed to leave the building until the owner had hit him repeatedly in the face with a cold can of peaches.
He can see the dark alleyway, now crowned with junk and loose litter, where he’d had, and lost, his first real fight. He'd been surrounded by a handful of boys from his school who’d always obsessively hated omegas — but especially male omegas.
Given his size, his delicate features, his general quietness, and his amiable disposition, it had always been assumed that Hongjoong would be an omega. Something to kick around and abuse without any real consequences. Something to chip away at, just to pass the time, like he was a chunk of marble rather than a living, breathing, feeling person.
Which is why, when he’d finally presented at sixteen, it had sent a jolt of sickly satisfaction pulsing through him. Euphoria had thrummed hot in his veins for days on end. He was an alpha after all. Despite everyone else’s opinions and beliefs. Despite everyone’s personal predictions and prejudices. Despite all of the hatred and ridicule he’d faced for simply existing as himself .
Personally, Hongjoong has never cared much about genders, secondary or otherwise. He has always been of the radical opinion that everyone is capable of doing, and being, anything. Good or bad. He’s never believed in the archaic stereotypes, or in rigid societal roles. And that’s one of the reasons why his small fashion business is doing well, but never too well.
Some people, of a similar mindset to him, applaud him and support his universal, unlabelled, ungendered designs. Some people, of a different mindset to him, hate it so much they actively make it difficult for him to find opportunities and expand his reach. But Hongjoong isn’t naïve, and he never has been, from the very start he’s known that he would face problems. He understands it’s the way the world works — taking with one hand and giving with the other. Two aspects of the same beast. Two faces of a coin. Two side of blade.
Regardless, he’s incredibly proud of how far he’s come. It’s hard work, but it’s always worth it. He’d started out on these very streets with nothing. With less than nothing. Raised by two parents who were erratic and severely lacking in love – both for each other, and for him. And now he’s back in the awful place. Temporarily, yes. But he is. Even if he’s only passing by on his way home. And, honestly, the short journey is already making him feel a lot of things he wishes he wasn't feeling.
Tonight, he’d gotten carried away with his work, time had slipped away from him and, as a result, he’d missed the last train home. Yes, he could have tried for the bus, but he’s pretty sure they’ve all stopped running, too. Besides, the stars are shining brightly, and the chill in the air isn’t unbearable, and it’s nice to just breathe outside for a while sometimes. So, he’d made a decision to walk.
Sure, he’ll be walking home for another twenty-or-so minutes, but it's better than walking for another hour, especially this late at night, and Hongjoong is making the most of it. The quiet freedom that the city offers him at three a.m. is incredibly peaceful in its own way. The streets possess an uncanny calmness. Everything is so still and quiet.
Hongjoong is minding his own business, remembering more uncomfortable fragments of his dysfunctional childhood — quite against his will — when a loud bang destroys the profound quiet he’s been fully embracing and almost gives him a heart attack. He can feel his pulse throbbing violently in his neck.
He takes in the closed doors on either side of him, one by one. He can’t see anything unusual, but his body is slipping into a heightened state of awareness anyway. He keeps walking. He tries to ignore his rattled nerves. His feet feel heavy; he’s unsure if they’re pulling him in the right direction, but he presses on. He doesn't stop. Not until a door he’s walking by bursts open, and body barrels straight into him — the force of the unexpected collision sending him flying.
He’s jolted towards the road. He’s batted away like a child’s toy. He almost twists his ankle dealing with the curb, but he’s ultimately unharmed. He’s just incredibly startled.
When he looks up again, having regained most of his balance, he's taken aback by what he sees.
The man before him stands frozen like a rabbit in a trap, his dark eyes locked unwaveringly on Hongjoong, as he holds onto the bundle of fabric in his arms.
Hongjoong’s eyes trace the line of the stranger's body until he gets to his feet. He isn’t wearing any shoes, just a pair of thick black socks. Hongjoong’s still thinking about that, and about what it might mean, when the unmistakable, thick scent of distress washes over him — it drowns him in burnt spices and rotting flowers.
Hongjoong’s head snaps up, as the urge to protect sparks to life in his chest. The door the man came from is closed. There are no signs of life there. Still, Hongjoong anticipates it bursting open again. He fears what might follow. It’s not an unreasonable anxiety. When doors slam shut, they often burst back open.
He drags his startled gaze away from the house and tries to focus on the man instead. On the distressed omega. He observes the rigidity of his posture, the bright red mark on his slightly swollen cheek, and the soft warning growl that’s seeping out between his split, bloody lips. His teeth are stained pink, he looks wild.
Hongjoong takes a sizable step back, so he’s almost standing in the middle of the road, and then he says, as calmly as he’s able to, ‘I won’t hurt you. I’m sorry for startling you.’
Hongjoong knows it probably sounds odd, a soft apology coming from an unknown alpha. He can see the obvious confusion reflected on the man’s face as clear as day. He’s a picture of growing uncertainty, of building ill-ease. But Hongjoong has never been one of those hyper-dominant alphas who are too ‘proud’ to apologise to an omega. He’s never seen himself as ‘above’ or ‘superior’.
The omega glances over his shoulder, back towards the house, and then he looks to Hongjoong again. He’s making a choice. That much is obvious. And it’s not an easy one, Hongjoong is sure of that. How can it be?
The scared omega can either stay outside, with an unfamiliar alpha, in what is clearly a vulnerable condition. Or he can go back inside, return to the place he has just fled, and face whoever harmed him to begin with. Hongjoong doesn’t envy him the decision. The man is truly having to choose between a rock and a hard place. Between a knife and a dagger.
‘Please,’ Hongjoong says, as softly as he's able to, hoping to make the impossible choice a little easier for the wide-eyed stranger. ‘You don’t need to go back in there.’
The dark haired man glares at him, as if to say: and what the hell do you know? Then, he seems to remember that Hongjoong is an unknown alpha , despite appearances, and he dips his head down to his chest. Meek and submissive in the blink of an eye. The action makes Hongjoong’s guts churn. He’s not looking for submission. He just wants to help. He wants to aid a frightened omega. He has no desire to control him.
‘You’re hurt, and you’re afraid,’ Hongjoong continues carefully, purposefully keeping his posture loose and his hands down low. ‘I know me being here is scary, but I was honestly just passing by. I’m just some random alpha who happened to be here. This is... you don’t have to choose between going back into that house and me.’
The man tilts his head. He frowns deeply. Then, the bundle in his arms starts moving and whining. It’s a child. The omega has a pup. Hongjoong could kick himself for not smelling that sooner, but all of this has been so sudden.
Hongjoong’s sense of dread intensifies. He has to do something.
‘Please, I know I’m no one to you, but I’m begging you: do not take your pup back into that house,’ Hongjoong pleads seriously, as he watches a small rivulet of blood slip from the omega’s lower lip and curve down under his chin.
The man growls loudly. His voice sounds rough and uneven as he hisses, ‘He has never touched my pup. I would never let him touch my pup!’
‘Okay,’ Hongjoong nods, his tone placating as the omega bares his teeth and holds his child even closer to his chest. ‘Okay, I’m glad to know that. But he’s still touched you, hasn’t he? Which, in my eyes, is just as bad. And I’m telling you, as someone who grew up in a bad situation, one day he will put his hands on your child. Because that’s what abusers do. That’s how monsters prey. They push, and push, and push. They take, and take, and take. Until they destroy everything good.’
‘So, what?’ the man snarls, challenging him bravely. ‘I’m just supposed to do whatever you say now? Because you’re so much better than the alpha behind that door? Do you think I’m stupid? Do you think I’m a fucking idiot!?’
‘No,’ Hongjoong says seriously, honestly. ‘No, I don’t think you’re stupid. And I don’t think you’re an idiot. I don’t think that at all. The only thing I want to do is help you.’
‘You don’t even know me,’ the man argues, cupping the back of his pup’s head. ‘And I don’t know you.’
Hongjoong nods; he can’t argue with that.
Instead, he says, likes he's introducing himself during an icebreaker, ‘My name is Kim Hongjoong. I’m turning thirty next month. I run a small business. And, right now, I’m on my way home from work.’
‘We’re... we’re the same age?’ the man mumbles, mostly to himself. Then he looks up at Hongjoong and steps backwards on two unsteady legs, his eyes swimming and unfocused as they flicker closed. He looks like he might collapse. He looks like he’s seconds away from passing out.
Hongjoong moves forward without thinking. He only hesitates for a moment before he puts a gentle hand on the omega’s lower back to steady him. The man winces painfully, his eyes flying open — they’re full of genuine agony.
Hongjoong apologises quickly and moves his hand higher. Desperately pumping out soothing pheromones as he says, ‘Are you okay? Are you feeling dizzy?’
The man nods, and the repeated movement only seems to make it worse. He whines sadly and says, ‘I feel faint.’
‘It’s okay,’ Hongjoong reassures him. ‘I’ll make sure you’re safe, omega. Here.’
Hongjoong guides him a few paces further down the street, so they’re safely away from the door the omega emerged from. Then, he obscures them in the mouth of a small alleyway. So, if anyone steps out onto the street, they won’t be seen.
Hongjoong lets go of the omega for a second, so he can shrug off his jacket and lay it out on the floor, he nudges away an empty packet. ‘Here, sit down for a minute and catch your breath.’
The man looks like he wants to, like he needs to, but he still hesitates. Hongjoong understands. Not only is he in pain and holding a pup, he’s feeling off. It’s a lot to deal with.
Hongjoong steps back again, until he feels the brickwork behind him, and he says, ‘I'll stay right here, unless you tell me to do otherwise. Please, omega, just sit down for a minute. I don’t want you to fall. I don't want you, or your pup, to get hurt if you faint.’
The man does sit. Maybe not some much out of choice but out of necessity. He tilts his head back, so it’s leaning against the wall. He’s still gripping onto his pup like his life depends on it, as he tries to take a series of deep breaths, as he tries to fight off the tears that have started spilling down his cheeks.
It’s an agonising thing to watch, but Hongjoong does. He stays exactly where he said he would, and he gives the omega some space to think, and breathe, and process his immediate situation. Hongjoong waits patiently, crouching down, using the wall behind him for balance, so he feels less like he’s looming over the beaten, disoriented omega.
Eventually, the man huffs out a long, steadying breath and wipes at his eyes. He whines when his fingers ghost over his freshly bruised cheek.
The alpha inside Hongjoong is begging him to do something, to ease that ache, to stop those tears, but his brain easily quashes his instincts down in favour of being a decent person — one who keeps his boundaries, and sticks to his promises, and calmly waits for omegas to communicate their actual needs and desires to him.
‘I’m... my name's Seonghwa,’ the omega — Seonghwa — offers eventually, and Hongjoong smiles. His name is beautiful.
‘It’s nice to meet you, Seonghwa,’ Hongjoong says quietly from across the alley, his head bowed politely.
‘I’m... I'm sorry for upsetting you,’ Seonghwa whispers, his remorse tangible. Hongjoong shakes his head, not really understanding the apology.
‘Your scent,’ Seonghwa explains quietly, when it becomes clear to him that Hongjoong isn't following. ‘You smell upset.’
Hongjoong’s eyes widen. The omega is right, he can smell it, too — now that he’s thinking about it. When had that happened? Where have his comforting pheromones gone? Is it this place? The ghosts of his past? The raw sorrow that he feels for Seonghwa and his situation?
Hongjoong has always been a person that feels so much, maybe even too much. It’s a weakness of his, one he reflects on often, even though Wooyoung insists it’s his greatest strength.
‘Sorry,’ Hongjoong mutters, bringing a hand up to cover his neck. Closing his eyes and actively trying to rein it in.
When he looks up at Seonghwa again, he’s looking back at him curiously. Like everything the alpha does is a surprise.
‘Hongjoong, was it?’ Seonghwa asks, before he leans down and presses a kiss to the top of his pup’s head.
‘Yes, that’s me.’
‘Hongjoong, what kind of job do you have that it means you’re walking home at three o'clock in the morning?’ Seonghwa enquires mildly, a soft amusement toying with the corners of his mouth.
Hongjoong laughs.
‘I got a little carried away tonight,’ Hongjoong confesses, looking up at the stars. He could do with taking a moment to breathe, too. ‘I’m a designer, and I own a small business. There’s a sponsorship opportunity coming up and, if we get it, it could change everything for us. I was finalising the designs we’ll use, and time kind of... got away from me. I missed the last train home, so now I’m walking.’
‘Do you live very far away?’ Seonghwa asks, genuinely interested. ‘I mean, no offence, but you don't exactly look like you’re from this neighbourhood? You look far too nice, and you seem... way too kind.’
‘Funny story, I actually grew up on this street,’ Hongjoong snorts, then he looks down at his feet. ‘But I haven’t been back here for a very long time. I live about twenty minutes away on foot.’
‘So, now you’re a stranger here,’ Seonghwa concludes, sighing heavily. ‘Me too. I’m originally from Jinju. I came all the way to Seoul for love. But... well, you can see how that’s going for me.’
Seonghwa laughs, but then his face falls. He brings a hand up to his mouth, to trap a sob before it can escape him. He does. But it makes him hiss in pain when he covers his damaged lip.
‘Seonghwa, I have this friend,’ Hongjoong begins gently, hoping the path he's taking is the right one. ‘His name is Choi Jongho, and he works at an omega shelter. You’re so far away from home. And I don't know how many connections you have here. Or if you have anyone you can rely on. But if you have nowhere to go, and you have no one you can trust, I can help you get someplace safe tonight? Does that sound okay?’
Seonghwa closes his eyes and bites his lip. More blood slides down and under his chin. Hongjoong grimaces.
‘It’s so embarrassing... I’ve been here for almost four years... and I still don’t have a single friend,’ Seonghwa cries, his cheeks flushed. Hongjoong’s heart aches for him. ‘I wasn’t... I wasn’t allowed to go out much. He gets jealous so easily.’
‘It’s okay,’ Hongjoong says, even though everything is so far from okay.
‘Is it... is it far away?’ Seonghwa asks, looking down at his socked feet. ‘The shelter, I mean. I don’t think I have it in me to walk very far.’
‘I’m not sure exactly,’ Hongjoong says, and Seonghwa frowns, his body tensing, shrinking in, like maybe he shouldn’t trust Hongjoong after all, like maybe everything he’s saying is a lie. There is no friend. No Jongho. No shelter. No safety. No hope for him.
Hongjoong shakes his head quickly and tries to explain, ‘I don't know where the shelter is. Only those who work there and stay there are allowed to know. It’s a safety thing, you know? So abusers can’t just show up and cause trouble. Whenever I meet Jongho after work, it’s always at some cafe or in a park. So, I can kind of guess that it’s about half an hour away from here, but I really couldn’t take you to the door. But I can call him, and I can ask him what to do?’
After a pause, Seonghwa seems to relax again. Then, he nods and says, ‘Please. I don't want Areum to catch a cold.’
‘Areum?’ Hongjoong smiles, his wolf working up. ‘That’s pretty. Is that your pup’s name?’
Seonghwa nods and smiles down at his daughter.
Hongjoong wastes no time once he's been given permission, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and he calls Jongho. He hopes his friend is working tonight, and he isn't waking him up.
Hongjoong tries his best, but it’s hard to remember his schedule every week. Still, he knows Jongho won’t be mad at him. Not for needing help, and never for something like this. He's always been passionate about helping people like Seonghwa — helping them start again.
The phone rings twice before their call is connected. Jongho sounds wide awake, ‘Hyung?’
Hearing his voice instantly calms Hongjoong down. He feels less alone. He watches Seonghwa and tries to focus on what he can hear.
‘Hyung?’ Jongho asks again, concern slipping into his tone. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yeah. Hi, Jongho,’ Hongjoong says, his fingers playing idly with a loose thread on his ripped jeans.
‘Are you sure you’re okay?’
‘Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,’ Hongjoong smiles, grateful for the concern.
‘You’re phoning me at almost four in the morning,’ Jongho says. ‘That alone makes me worry about you.’
‘I’m not phoning for me,’ Hongjoong assures him. ‘I was just wondering... do you have any free rooms at the shelter tonight?’
‘What?’ Jongho asks, taken aback. ‘Where are you?’
‘I was walking home, and I—’
‘At this time of night?’
‘Pup, come on, you know I get carried away sometimes,’ Hongjoong pouts, listening to his friend sigh.
‘You better be safe right now,’ Jongho warns him, and Hongjoong rolls his eyes. ‘I swear to god, hyung. If you're not...'
‘I am,’ Hongjoong insists. ‘But I met someone who needs a place to stay.’
‘An omega,’ Jongho concludes.
‘Yes,’ Hongjoong says. ‘Do you have space for him?’
‘Let me check,’ Jongho says, and Hongjoong can hear him typing on his keyboard. It only takes him a few seconds.
‘There’s nothing here,’ Jongho says, his regret obvious, and Hongjoong frowns, feeling instantly disheartened.
‘If it makes any difference, he has a pup with him,’ Hongjoong offers, and he hears Jongho swear under his breath.
‘Give me a minute to look around for something else,’ Jongho says, clicking and typing.
‘Please, Jongho,’ Hongjoong pleads quietly, as if Jongho has control over any of this. ‘He’s hurt, and he needs somewhere safe to rest.’
‘He’s hurt?’ Jongho repeats, his rapid typing pausing. ‘Does he need medical attention?’
‘I don't think so. I think he just needs some space to decompress,’ Hongjoong offers, looking away when he catches Seonghwa’s eye.
‘There’s a room in a place near Gimpo?’ Jongho says, and Hongjoong’s heart sinks. That’s miles away. ‘Is that any good for you, hyung?’
‘Gimpo,’ Hongjoong says. ‘That’s quite a journey, Jongho.’
‘Look, I know it’s not ideal,’ Jongho agrees. ‘But all of the shelters in central Seoul are full. Tomorrow, it might be a different story, but there’s nothing tonight, hyung. I’m really sorry.’
‘Fuck,’ Hongjoong groans. ‘Alright, can you give me a few minutes to talk to him about it?’
‘Of course, phone me back when you decide?'
‘Alright, thanks, pup.’
Hongjoong hangs up and lets his hand fall to the ground.
‘It didn't work out?’ Seonghwa asks quietly. Sensing the worst.
‘There aren’t any rooms in the city. The best he can do for tonight is a place near Gimpo,’ Hongjoong says, and an uncomfortable stoicism seems to settle into Seonghwa’s body.
‘Well, thank you for trying anyway,’ Seonghwa says, sounding exhausted. ‘I can just go back inside. He’s probably fast asleep by now. He’d been drinking quite heavily again, so...’
‘Seonghwa,’ Hongjoong whines. ‘I’m not giving up on this. We can get you to Gimpo.’
‘How? We can’t walk all the way to Gimpo. Taxis won't come anywhere near this neighbourhood. I don’t have any shoes on. And neither does... neither does Areum. Look, just forget it, Hongjoong. Just forget this ever happened and go home. Thank you, but go home,’ Seonghwa says. Moving to stand up. He pushes himself to his feet awkwardly, his pup still wrapped in his arms.
Hongjoong stands too. Mirroring his movements.
‘How can I forget?’ Hongjoong asks him seriously. ‘I’ll be worrying about you and your pup for the rest of my life if I let you go back in there.’
‘If you let me?’ Seonghwa spits, his disgust palpable. ‘You alphas! You’re all so...’
‘That’s not what I meant,’ Hongjoong urges. ‘Look, I have a friend who can drive. I can call him and ask him to take us to Gimpo. Please, Seonghwa?’
‘You’re not phoning more of your friends in the middle of the night for me!’ Seonghwa argues. ‘I won't cause you any more trouble!’
‘Then... then just come home with me?’ Hongjoong says desperately, without too much thought.
‘What?’ Seonghwa asks, his eyes wide with surprise.
‘You can stay for the night, it’s close enough. You won’t be out on the street. Areum will be warm. Tomorrow we can find you a real solution. Just... come to my place for tonight?’ Hongjoong offers again, suddenly feeling nervous. His heart is pounding. It's a lot, but he’s out of options. It’s this, or he’s phoning Yunho.
‘You’re being serious?’ Seonghwa asks, frowning deeply as he thinks.
‘I’m being serious,’ Hongjoong confirms, nodding to emphasise it further.
‘But you’re an alpha. And I don’t... I’m not...’
‘I won’t hurt you, Seonghwa,’ Hongjoong says, pleading for him to hear the truth in it. ‘I can stay out of your way. Not all alphas are... that.’
Hongjoong flicks his chin up, his eyes linger on Seonghwa’s swollen cheek. ‘But I understand why you think that, and I understand your caution. You’re right to protect yourself and your child above everything.’
The omega thinks about it seriously. Hongjoong doesn't blame him. He’d be worried if the omega wasn’t concerned about this.
‘Fine,’ Seonghwa says. ‘We’ll come with you. Thank you. But if you touch my pup, I’ll rip your throat out with my teeth.’
‘I wouldn’t expect anything less,’ Hongjoong says, moving to pick his jacket up off the floor. Instead of putting it on, he drapes it over the omega’s shoulders. ‘Will you be able to walk without your shoes on? I wish I had bigger feet.’
‘Yeah, just... not too fast. Please?’ Seonghwa asks, stepping back out onto the street with Hongjoong at his side.
‘Let me know if you need a break?’ Hongjoong asks, and the omega nods.
They walk. But their companionable silence lasts less than a minute.
‘You... you smell really upset again, alpha,’ Seonghwa observes carefully, as they walk side by side.
‘Oh, I do? I’m sorry,’ Hongjoong apologises, his eyes fixed on a door ahead. ‘I usually have more control over my scent than this, I swear I do. It’s just... I used to live in that house coming up, the one with the red door. It wasn’t... it wasn't a happy place for me. Not at all. Let’s just say... I think Areum is really lucky to have you. To have a parent who loves her so much.'
Hongjoong’s phone vibrates. He'd forgotten to phone Jongho back. He fishes it out of his pocket and accepts the call but, before he can even bring it to his ear, he hears Seonghwa whisper, ‘I don’t know about that. I think we’re the lucky ones; we’re so blessed to have our children.’
{🐿️💗⭐}