Chapter Text
It’s not often that Xie Lian gets sick enough that he stays home.
Xie Lian is sick a lot of the time, Mu Qing has noticed. When he’s not sick, he tends to have injuries of some kind, however. His arm has been bandaged up one too many time to count, and his ankles as well. Once before PE class, Mu Qing saw a large band-aid on his leg, asked what that was about, and Xie Lian sheepishly told him and Feng Xin that he had tried cooking and failed the moment he had dropped the knife… in his thigh.
Mu Qing has no words for him anymore, sincerely. Just last week, he had sprained his ankle when going ice skating with the two of them, Mu Qing and him having the same size, so Xie Lian lent him one of his two pairs of skates (rich people), and Feng Xin had his own (rich people, again).
But for him to stay home from school about it is seldom. After all, he still participated in PE after dropping a knife into his thigh on accident once.
Mu Qing really doesn’t know what to say.
So, when Mr Wang sees that Xie Lian hasn’t shown up for class, and during break, Feng Xin and Mu Qing receive the text in their group chat that he’s sorry, he’s caught a really bad flu, he really can’t go, Mu Qing gets told by his maths teacher that he should maybe take the homework to him so he can catch up on it whenever he’s better, and if not, then not.
Because he’s more reliable than Feng Xin, and Feng Xin might either lose the homework, or just forget to take it to Xie Lian in first place.
It’s four in the afternoon when Mu Qing finally makes his way over to Xie Lian after quickly visiting Volleyball’s new owners for the third time this month. They’re nice people.
Funnily enough, a gay couple, which they mentioned in the message they immediately sent Mu Qing’s mother upon adopting her. They’ve got a dog too, and Volleyball gets along with him very well, so Mu Qing now knows she’s in good hands.
He's probably going to go back next week again, especially since one of them offered to show him how to cook a dish Mu Qing hasn’t ever tried to make, so he could surprise his mom with it.
He’s very happy Volleyball got such good owners, and that Mu Qing can be friends with them like this.
It’s going to get dark outside soon, he thinks when he finally rings the doorbell. The days have been getting longer again, but in an hour and a half, it’s most definitely going to be dark. Depending on how long he stays, he might end up having to walk home in the dark.
Whatever. Nothing new to him.
The door opens after quite some time has already passed, and in it is Jun Wu, not Xie Lian.
“Hi, Mu Qing,” he says, but Mu Qing very quickly finds the whole thing awkward. He grasps at the tote bag slung around his shoulders that contains Xie Lian’s homework a little harder, his black gloves making a soft sound at the motion.
“Uh… I’m here to check on Xie Lian, and bring him his homework, if that’s okay?”
“Hm, sure, come in. I don’t think he can do homework right now, but maybe tomorrow or another day.”
Mu Qing gives a mechanic little nod and steps out of his winter shoes to line them up with Xie Lian’s and Jun Wu’s, then steps into the house properly.
When he’s greeted by Ruoye (especially so shortly after seeing Volleyball), he can’t help but give a little shriek of glee, and pet her before he even considers doing anything else. In the end, though, he has to part from her, and Jun Wu leads him to the living room.
Immediately, he sees why Xie Lian stayed home.
He’s half sitting with a bowl of soup in front of him, his feet wrapped in cold towels, presumably to bring the fever down, his hair tousled and sticking to his sweaty forehead. He loudly slurps a bunch of noodles and hurries to swallow them before he gives a large sneeze and then a big sniff, already grabbing a tissue that he heartily blows into before throwing it into the plastic bag next to him with a sigh.
Yeah.
It’s good he stayed home.
“Ah, Mu Qing,” he croaks out, but even his voice is an entire mess, “wait, Jun Wu, could you maybe get us both masks, Mu Qing really doesn’t need whatever the hell I have…”
Good point.
Mu Qing does, in fact, not need whatever the hell Xie Lian has, so he waits in the door as Jun Wu disappears to their storage room for a second, and comes back with two blue surgical masks. Mu Qing very readily puts one of them on while Xie Lian does the same.
“Alright,” he mumbles, “hopefully that’s going to be enough.”
“Hm,” Mu Qing agrees, “I’m not going to ask you how you are, because you’re not well.”
Xie Lian’s laugh in response sounds very miserable.
“No, I’m not, but I’ve been at the doctor’s, and it’s just the flu, so I’ve just gotta get through it now. The meds help a little, though.”
“That’s good,” Mu Qing comments, sitting down with a good bit of distance between them. His mom and him are some of these people who will always wear masks while sick, while Feng Xin for example was just sneezing all of his viruses and bacteria around the room some weeks ago when he’d had the common cold. He’d also acted like it was going to kill him.
Sadly, to Mu Qing’s utter regret, it didn’t.
“I just… this is maths homework. And chemistry. Both teachers said you don’t have to do it if you can’t, they trust you to catch up on your own time. You’re probably not going to come back this week, right?”
“Doctor’s note says I can’t, nope,” Xie Lian sighs, letting his chopsticks sink into the steaming bowl now that he’s got a mask on and can barely eat like this anymore. “It’s fine, as soon as I feel a little better, I’ll want to do something. Watching TV all day really isn’t for me, and my eyes kind of hurt, so reading also doesn’t work.”
Yeah, Mu Qing doesn’t like being sick because it makes him feel very unproductive, which isn’t nice given that he’s usually a very productive person.
“I know what it’s like. The flu sucks. Please just… take care, alright? You don’t… you don’t have to, uh… do your homework or whatever.”
Mu Qing isn’t very good with words, and he’s still not very good at showing affection specifically. He tries, he really does, but it doesn’t come natural to him at all, no matter how much he tries to improve this. It’s probably about time to give up, sometime soon.
“Hm. I know. But I’ll want to do something.”
“I… don’t want to keep you from eating,” Mu Qing stutters, “the soup looks good.”
He’s trying so, so desperately to make conversation, but truth is also that it’s usually the three of them, not just him and Xie Lian. So now, all of a sudden, it feels very awkward.
“Hm, no, it’s fine, please don’t worry about it. I’m not that hungry, and I’m grateful enough my brother made me that soup to begin with, so… even cold, I’d still appreciate it, so it’s alright.”
Jun Wu made it for him? He’s seemed weirdly docile recently, compared to whatever the hell he was on about when Mu Qing had just moved here.
God, it’s already been so strangely long. He’s gotten so used to living here.
At this point, even his father has faded from his memory. He hasn’t interacted with him ever since he left their home to be with his new girlfriend or whatever; Mu Qing doesn’t really know, and he doesn’t want to know, if he’s honest.
But it’s been enough time for him to forget the humiliation of it all just a little, the biting remarks, the way his father looked at him with such scorn in his eyes.
It’s been long enough for him to have found friends, with Xie Lian even being somewhat similar to him, even if Mu Qing is probably worse. He’s not one nor the other.
He doesn’t like it, still.
He doesn’t think he’ll ever like it. Every time they change during PE class, he just hopes no one is going to notice. He’s letting Xie Lian and Feng Xin assume that he’s just insecure about his body or whatever.
It’s not wrong; it’s just that ‘insecure’ really doesn’t cut it.
“You should eat it while it’s still warm, though,” Jun Wu suddenly comments, walking in with a glass of tea that’s undoubtedly mint, given the smell of it assaulting Mu Qing’s nostrils as he walks past him. “It’ll be good for your throat”
“Ha, I know, but it’s been such a boring day, and I miss being at school…”
“No, you have to rest,” Jun Wu says very firmly, and with something that’s almost concern in his voice. Xie Lian blinks at him at that too. “Mu Qing, I don’t want to kick you out, but don’t stay too long, alright? You also just don’t want to catch this.”
“…No, I don’t, you’re right,” Mu Qing says.
Jun Wu puts the cup down in front of Xie Lian, and then announces he’s going to quickly head to the store and buy ice cream for Xie Lian’s throat.
Not long after, his keys rustle as he puts them into the pocket, and the front door clicks shut.
“Ah… don’t take him by his word so much, he’s also glad you came to visit.”
“No, it’s fine. I should get going anyway. I still have to do my own homework and all. Was at Volleyball’s.”
“Oh, right, the new owners. Take me there when I’m recovered again, alright?”
“Y-yes,” Mu Qing stutters, and watches as Xie Lian takes his mask down just once to get some more noodles into his mouth. His sleeve slides down a little, and once more, there’s a bandage wrapped around his arm; a little thicker than usual, and a little tighter. Mu Qing has long learned not to even ask anymore.
“I really appreciate you coming here though, mind you,” Xie Lian suddenly laughs, “I’ve felt so lonely all day. I mean- Jun Wu was with me so it was better. He skipped school to take care of me and all.”
“He’s weirdly nice,” Mu Qing comments.
“Hmm, I know, but it also feels very sincere, somehow. Like he actually and really cares. I think Mei Nianqing must’ve had a go at him a few times about it, or something. I guess having a boyfriend made him soft. Not that it’s a bad thing, obviously. It’s a good thing, if anything. I’m glad he’s found someone he likes enough to become a better person.”
Not having a single clue as to what the hell he’s meant to say to that, Mu Qing decides to stay silent. He doesn’t do love. Mu Qing has long decided he will never do love. It isn’t that he isn’t interested in it, because somehow, he is. He wants to know what it’s like to hold hands with a boy he likes (because by now, he at least knows he doesn’t like girls that way). He wonders what kissing is like. He wonders what some other stuff is like, but that’s where the problem really begins. No one can love him the way he is.
No one could ever love his body.
His personality isn’t much better though.
So, he won’t do ‘love’, or whatever. It’s for the better for everyone involved. Not like he could ever trust the other person, anyway – they’d probably just think him to be something weird and be with him out of a strange amazement for weird stuff, or whatever. Like people who keep exotic animals. Not that he’d ever voice these thoughts. His mother seems to know enough, though, because she’s told him that maybe he should consider therapy before, but Mu Qing isn’t sure he likes the idea of it, so he’s always told her no.
He doesn’t have to like his body in order to live.
He can be on his own, and have friends here and there, like Xie Lian and Feng Xin (somehow even him). That’s going to be enough. He isn’t expecting much more from life.
He loves his mom.
That’s enough, really. If she’s with him for as long as she can be.
“…Mu Qing, really. Thank you for coming by today. Feng Xin is busy, I’m assuming?”
“Hm,” Mu Qing makes affirmatively, “Mister Wang told me to take homework to you, because Feng Xin is unreliable as hell. So it’s me. But that idiot also said he’s got practice and that he’s gotta go to the vet with Basketball for some kind of check-up, and his parents can’t do it because they’re busy. So, he couldn’t come.”
“I see… tell him to come by one of these days, even if just for five minutes, I’ll get bored out of my mind. Don’t misunderstand me, I like my brother. Now that he’s nice to me, anyway. But I miss you guys, and I’ve only been home for a day. Even better if he brings Basketball. Ruoye’s been with me most of the day, but I guess she’s got enough, so she’s just strolling around the house.”
“Yeah, I saw her when I came in,” Mu Qing responds, “I’ll let Feng Xin know, though. Not sure the idiot won’t just forget again. I’ll try my best to remind him.”
That gets a small laugh out of Xie Lian.
“Alright, Mu Qing, it’s probably better you don’t spend much more time here and catch my disease. And Jun Wu’s right, I should probably eat the soup while it’s still warm enough. But thank you for coming by.”
“Yes, I’ll come back again one of these days, too. Take you more homework and stuff.”
Given the slightly amused glint in Xie Lian’s eyes, Mu Qing has the strong feeling that he knows he’s probably also just missing him already.
“Yep, thanks, you’re always welcome here too, obviously.”
Somehow, Mu Qing even believes him. He’s not felt welcomed by anyone but his mom, throughout his entire life, but when Xie Lian takes his mask back down to eat more noodles, and there’s a soft little smile on his face, Mu Qing really and sincerely believes him.
He doesn’t know how to express it in words, but Xie Lian is always welcome with him, too.