Chapter Text
1. Technicalities, Piper. Technicalities.
Chiron regarded Piper with a patient expression, which was always a bad sign. It was the kind of look that said, I’m about to ruin your entire argument with a single sentence.
“Piper, before we discuss the challenge,” he said kindly, “are you planning to stay at camp year-round?”
Piper blinked. “Uh… no? I mean, I’ll be here in the summers, but I have school and—”
“Then you can’t be cabin counselor,” Chiron said simply.
Piper felt like she’d just been smacked upside the head with a centaur’s hoof. “Wait. What? That can’t be a rule.”
“It is a rule,” Chiron said. “Cabin counselors must be here to lead their cabin year-round. You would know this if you’d ever attended a single cabin meeting.”
Piper sputtered. “But—Percy was a cabin counselor, and he—”
Chiron raised an eyebrow. “Percy was his whole cabin.”
“…Okay, that’s fair,” Piper admitted.
From the Aphrodite table, Drew smirked and buffed her nails.
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2. Name Five Campers. I Dare You.
Mitchell coughed. “Um, actually, before this goes any further—Piper, can you name anyone in the cabin besides me, Lacy, and Drew?”
Piper opened her mouth. Then closed it. She could probably bluff her way through this.
“…Madison?” she tried.
Mitchell’s expression was pure pity. “We don’t have a Madison.”
“I swear there’s a Madison.”
“No.”
“…Okay, but I know there’s a—what’s that one girl’s name? The one with the really nice eyeliner?”
“That would be all of them,” Lacy mumbled.
Drew actually laughed. “Oh, this is tragic.”
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3. You Don’t Even Go Here
A girl from the cabin—Piper was pretty sure her name started with a V or maybe N—crossed her arms. “Piper, let me get this straight. You want to lead us. But you’ve never done any activities with us. Ever.”
“That’s not true,” Piper said quickly. “I totally—I mean, I helped pack for the quest!”
“That was one time,” Lacy pointed out.
“…Yeah, but, like—I’ve talked to you guys.”
Drew smirked. “Oh, yes, that totally counts as bonding.”
Another camper spoke up. “You haven't even stayed one full summer. You left halfway through for a road trip.”
“I was saving the world,” Piper protested.
“And we were perfecting the ultimate skincare routine for after battle,” someone muttered.
Drew stretched lazily. “Face it, sweetie. You want to be in charge of a cabin you barely know.”
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4. Let’s Talk About Your Combat Skills. Or Lack Thereof.
Chiron rubbed his chin. “Well, setting aside the… very compelling reasons against this, let’s say we do proceed with a formal challenge. Piper, I have to ask: Are you even trained in combat?”
Piper lifted her chin. “I’ve fought a Cyclops.”
Drew rolled her eyes. “Which Jason saved you from.”
“I beat Medea.”
“Jason.”
“I fought Midas—”
“Jason and Leo,” Lacy supplied.
Piper scowled. “Okay, so I’ve assisted in battle. I still have skills.”
Drew smirked. “Oh, I bet you do.”
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5. Drew Picks the Weapon. Piper Regrets Everything.
Chiron sighed. “Well, by tradition, the defending counselor picks the weapon.”
Drew brightened immediately. “Great! I pick bows and arrows.”
Piper blinked. “Wait. What.”
Drew’s grin widened. “Bows. And. Arrows.”
Piper gulped. She had never trained with archery. Not once.
Mitchell helpfully pointed this out. “Uh, Piper, have you ever even held a bow?”
“…Technically.”
“Oh, this will be fun,” Drew purred.
Piper whirled on her cabinmates. “You guys could back me up here!”
Lacy shrugged. “You spend all your time with Jason. He knows how to shoot a bow.”
“Yeah,” Drew said. “Too bad he’s not the one dueling.”
Piper stood in the arena, holding a bow like it was some ancient relic she had just been handed by an alien race.
Drew, meanwhile, adjusted her stance like a professional. She pulled back the string, released, and hit dead center. Of course.
Piper tried to copy her, pulled the string, and—
Thwack!
The arrow flopped a full two feet in front of her.
The entire arena went silent.
Piper turned bright red. “Okay, that was a warm-up.”
Drew stifled a laugh. “Sure, sweetie.”
Piper tried again. This time, she let go of the bow instead of the arrow.
It hit the ground with a sad little clunk.
Drew nearly collapsed from laughter.
Lacy patted Piper’s shoulder. “I’m really rooting for you, but… this is painful.”
Drew strutted up, all confidence, and placed a hand under Piper’s chin. “You know, I’d almost feel bad.”
Piper glared at her. “Almost?”
Drew smirked. “Almost.”
She turned to Chiron. “So, do I keep my position, or do we have to let Piper embarrass herself more?”
Chiron sighed. “Drew remains cabin counselor.”
Piper groaned. “Fine.”
Drew beamed. “Good game, sweetie. Now, how about you clean the cabin again?”
Piper’s eye twitched.
Maybe she’d challenge again.
…Eventually.
For now?
She was definitely learning archery.
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After the humiliating duel, Piper tried to salvage what was left of her pride.
“I still think I’d be a better leader,” she muttered.
Drew snorted. “Sweetie, you can’t even lead an arrow to its target.”
Piper groaned. “I get it, I lost, okay?”
Drew smirked. “Oh, no. You don’t get it. But you will.”
Piper frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Mitchell coughed. “Uh… there’s a thing. A little tradition. For people who lose public challenges.”
“…What kind of tradition?”
Lacy winced. “You have to wear The Sash for a day.”
Piper’s stomach dropped. “…What sash?”
Drew grinned and pulled something from her bag—a silky, bright pink sash with glittering golden embroidery that read:
“I Challenged for Cabin 10 Leader and All I Got Was This Lousy Sash.”
“Oh, come on!” Piper groaned.
Drew winked. “Rules are rules, sweetie.”
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9. Drew Has an Actual Spreadsheet of Piper’s Crimes
Later that day, Piper grumbled in the pavilion, still wearing The Sash.
Mitchell sat across from her. “Hey, don’t feel too bad. Drew’s, uh, thorough when it comes to challenges.”
Piper frowned. “What do you mean?”
Lacy slid into the seat next to them, looking exhausted. “She literally has a spreadsheet of every reason why you shouldn’t be cabin counselor.”
Piper blinked. “You’re joking.”
“Nope,” Mitchell said, scrolling through his phone. “She showed it to us last week. It has graphs.”
Piper snatched the phone and scanned the document.
“Why Piper McLean is Unfit for Cabin Leadership: A Comprehensive Guide”
Doesn’t attend Cabin 10 activities (includes a pie chart—95% of the time spent with Jason, 5% spent “doing mysterious main character things”)
Cannot name more than 3 campers (update: failed miserably)
Did not help choose Cabin 10’s official perfume scent (“It was an important vote!” –Drew)
No archery skills (we saw the duel)
Challenged our leader without an actual plan (like, come on.)
Piper stared at the list. “This… this is so petty.”
Mitchell shrugged. “Welcome to Cabin 10 politics.”
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10. “What’s Our Cabin Motto?” “Uh… Love is… cool?”
At lunch, a few of Piper's siblings sat around Piper, testing her knowledge of her own cabin.
“Okay,” Lacy said. “What’s our official motto?”
Piper thought hard. “Um… ‘Love conquers all’?”
Mitchell shook his head.
“…‘Beauty is power’?”
“Nope.”
“‘Make love, not war’?”
Drew snorted. “Absolutely not.”
Piper frowned. “Then what is it?”
All of them said in unison:
“Love boldly. Love wisely. And for the gods’ sake, use moisturizer.”
Piper groaned. “That cannot be our real motto.”
Mitchell nodded. “We voted.”
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11. Piper Tries to Rebuild Her Reputation and Fails Immediately
Determined to prove herself, Piper decided to actually participate in Cabin 10 activities.
Her first attempt? Cabin 10’s Weekly Beauty Workshop.
Piper sat in a chair while one of the campers hovered near her with a curling iron.
“Okay,” the girl said. “What’s your hair routine?”
Piper blinked. “…I brush it?”
Several Aphrodite campers gasped dramatically. Someone dropped their eyeshadow palette.
Drew put a hand over her heart. “Piper. Sweetie. You brush your hair?”
“…Yes?”
“Oh, we have so much work to do,” Mitchell muttered.
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12. The ‘Cabin 10 Training’ Disaster
After the duel fiasco, some campers begrudgingly offered to help Piper actually learn useful skills.
First up: Combat training.
Piper held a dagger while another camper, Valentina, circled her with a smirk.
“Okay,” Valentina said. “What do you do if an enemy charges you?”
Piper straightened. “I stand my ground!”
Valentina lunged.
Piper immediately turned and sprinted in the opposite direction.
Mitchell sighed. “Okay. That’s… one strategy.”
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13. The Revenge of The Makeup Table
One afternoon, Piper walked into the cabin and immediately tripped over something.
She hit the floor with a thud.
Drew glanced over. “Oh, would you look at that. The makeup table you knocked over during your little challenge mysteriously got moved right into your path.”
Piper groaned, lifting her head. “Oh, come on.”
Drew shrugged. “Karma’s a beautiful thing, sweetie.”
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14. Piper Tries to Win Favor, but Cabin 10 is Too Powerful
Determined to earn some respect, Piper brought a box of fancy chocolates to share with the cabin.
The response?
“Oh,” said one camper. “That’s adorable. You think store-bought chocolates are impressive.”
Drew raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t handcraft them?”
Piper gaped. “Who just… handcrafts chocolates?!”
A boy at the back of the cabin sniffed. “Amateurs.”
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15. The Final Betrayal: Even Aphrodite Thinks This is Funny
That night, Piper sighed and looked up at the stars. “You know what? At least mom’s probably on my side.”
At that exact moment, a soft pink glow shimmered in the sky. A single shimmering heart symbol appeared, and in perfect cursive, spelled out:
“LMAO” – Aphrodite
Piper’s jaw dropped. “Are you kidding me?”
Drew laughed so hard she almost fell off her bed. “Oh, sweetie. Even your own mother knows you took an L.”
Piper groaned and covered her face with a pillow.
Maybe next time, she’d just let Drew keep the stupid cabin.