Chapter Text
Percy had known from the get-go that the Waynes wouldn’t be content with the surface level information that they’d been given. They were vigilantes, the best detectives in the world, and the smartest people in any given room. They were also a bunch of nosey assholes.
Percy had taken to lying at the bottom of the pool to avoid them but he was pretty sure that Tim was two seconds away from creating a way to breathe underwater just to badger him with questions.
He seemed obsessed with the way that magic works for the gods and demigods and didn’t seem to want to take ‘I dunno, man, it’s just magic’ as an answer. Which, rude. Percy honestly didn’t know how all the magic stuff worked, he’d never cared enough to ask. Magic was Hazel’s area of expertise, not his. You call Percy when you want to dump a river on your enemies head, you don’t call Percy if you want to cut someone in half and put them back together.
He wasn’t really good at the “put them back together” portion of that trick.
“Can you do the mist thing?” Tim asks, wiggling his fingers around like he was about to pull a bunny out of his stupid cape. Percy was about to sit them down and make them watch the Incredibles. But just the Edna Mode parts. Percy was almost certain that the bats didn’t have an Edna Mode. If they did, they wouldn’t run around looking like a bunch of idiots.
“Kinda,” Percy grunts, putting down another piece to his batarang tower.
Tim scowls, picking at the left over glue stuff that kept his dumb mask to his face. “What does that mean?” he gripes. “That’s not an answer.”
“It means,” Percy stresses dramatically, just to get on the older boy’s nerves. “That I’m, like, capable of doing it but I’ve never really trained.”
“Why not? That seems like it would be really helpful.”
Percy shrugs, turning to pick up another batarang. He was definitely sure he wasn’t supposed to be touching these but Tim didn’t seem like he’d noticed and everyone else was still out on patrol. “I didn’t know it was something that was possible until a couple years after I got into the whole demigod thing and there was just always a lot going on. I have enough trouble seeing through the Mist as it is, I don’t need to start playing with it.”
Tim’s eyebrows furrow. “I thought it didn’t affect demigods?”
“No, it does,” Percy murmurs. “Some more than others. For whatever reason, I’m pretty susceptible to magic, which includes the Mist. I dunno if it’s something psychological or if it’s, like, a nurture versus nature thing but it’s always been like that.”
“Your brother,” Tim says, like he was putting the pieces together. Percy hadn’t realized that there was a puzzle. “The cyclopes.”
Percy grins. “Yeah, Tyson. We met when I was thirteen and he’s over a foot taller than me. Thalia can talk shit all she wants but I never looked the dude in the face, how was I supposed to know he was a cyclops?”
“Wait, you never looked your brother in the eye?”
“I didn’t know he was my brother until after that,” Percy waves him off. “Godly claimings are all dramatic and shit, Dad wasn’t going to do that outside of camp.”
That seemed to be the wrong thing to say if he wanted to make Tim go away. “Claiming? What does that mean?”
“Uh, you know,” Percy shrugs. “Congrats, you have a dad!”
“So you guys don’t know who your godly parent is unless they claim you?” Tim sounded equal parts horrified and intrigued.
Percy nods. “Yeah, it’s kind of a pain in the ass. That’s why the Second Titan War started. People weren’t claiming their kids and it led to a bunch of really pissed off, superpowered teenagers who wanted to overthrow their parents. I really can’t say that I blame them. I mean, they were just shoving all of the unclaimed kids into the Hermes cabin. It sucked for the unclaimed kids and for the Hermes kids because those cabins aren’t big enough for all of those people.”
“Why wouldn’t they expand the cabin? Or make a cabin specifically for the unclaimed kids?”
“I dunno, it would make too much sense, I guess. The gods are kinda stubborn when it comes to their cabins. Rachel and Jason - camp Jason - have been working on a solution to that but I don’t know much about it.”
“I thought you made them swear to claim their kids.”
Percy sighs. “I did. But then the war with Gaea and the giants came and everyone got a little sidetracked. It’s better than it was by a longshot but there’s still a handful of unclaimed kids.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier to set up some kind of system so that when a kid walks into their parent’s cabin, they get claimed?”
“It doesn’t really work like that. Even if they could set up a system like that, not every god has a cabin. Before, it was just the twelve gods of Olympus. Now, there are a few more but it’s still nowhere close to complete.”
Tim gets a far off look, like he was trying to remember how many gods there were. Percy couldn’t blame him, there were a lot of them. Not all of them had kids but enough of them did that it was a problem. Where do you put a claimed child with no cabin? He hoped Rachel and Jason’s plan made sense. Usually, the two of them were great but sometimes they reminded everyone that Jason was literally raised by wolves and Rachel lives in a cave. Freaks, the lot of them.
“Okay. Sure. What other kind of magic is there at camp?” Tim moves on, which was probably a good idea seeing as Percy had been at camp for almost six years and he was still no closer to understanding why the gods did the things they did.
Percy hummed as he thought, sorting through what was magic and what was just the usual weird nonsense. “The goblets are enchanted. You ask for what you want and it appears as long as it’s not alcoholic. Mr. D is banned. Oh, and the fire pits.”
“Fire pits? What’s special about the fire pits?”
“We burn a portion of our food for the gods at every meal. The food just kind of disappears and we learned recently that it reappears in one of their temples.” Percy tried to push aside the thoughts of where they’d learned that little fun fact.
Tim finally removes his stupid cape. Seriously, Percy was going to shred the thing. “Should you be burning food here? Are we supposed to do that, too?”
Percy snorts, carefully balancing two batarangs against one another. Whoever decided that stacking cards was cool was an idiot, this was way better. And only slightly liable to stab someone if it fell. “Nah, don’t worry about it. We don’t usually burn food unless we’re at camp or on a quest. It would make lunch period a little awkward.”
Tim snickers. “Damian would never talk to you again. You don’t go to camp full-time, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Isn’t that kinda dangerous? Not that I don’t want you here,” he adds hastily, moving toward the decontamination showers. Percy was choosing to ignore that. “But you’re more…uh, attractive to monsters.”
Percy is pretty sure he goes through fifteen emotions in two seconds. “Never say that again, what the fuck.”
“Yeah, my bad,” Tim replied sheepishly. “But you know what I meant. They want to eat you.”
Percy shakes off the millions of dirty jokes that jump to the forefront of his mind. He was just a teenage boy, afterall. “Sure, man. Technically, it would be safer to stay at camp but I would also lose my mind. Camp is great but it’s a summer camp, you know? It’s not like New Rome, there’s no city or anything to do outside of the lava wall or kayaking.” He ignores the noise Tim makes at his words. “Besides, I’ve almost died just as often in camp as I’ve almost died outside it.”
“I thought that the barrier kept things out of camp?”
“It does,” Percy agrees. “But we can give monsters and mortals permission to enter if we need to. Usually monsters are let in for training and also in cases like Tyson and Ella. But there’s been a few times where someone has let a monster or two in for the sole purpose of killing me. And there was one summer where the tree that powers the barrier was poisoned and we had to patrol the border to keep monsters from getting inside.”
Tim emerges from the showers, hair still dripping wet and clad in only a pair of black sweatpants. “I have so many questions.”
“Pick one,” Percy instructs, well aware that one question would lead to a million different other things when Tim was involved.
“Tree?”
“Yeah,” Percy nods. “Kind of a long story but the sparknotes is that Thalia sacrificed herself for her friends when she first arrived at camp and Zeus turned her into a tree instead of letting her die. Then we got the Golden Fleece on a quest when I was thirteen and used it to heal the tree which actually brought her back to life and now our border is powered by the fleece.”
Tim seemed to be fighting off the urge to ask ten questions all at once. It was a little funny, the dumb face he was making. “Couldn’t someone take the fleece?”
“A dragon is guarding it. So, they can try, I guess.” Percy catches sight of Tim’s expression. “Pelos is cool, man, it’s fine.”
“That’s not-” he jerks head to the side, like a factory reset. “You cannot tell Damian that your camp has a dragon.”
Percy furrows his eyebrows. “Why?”
“He’ll want to visit and probably never leave. He’s already begging to visit to go see Blackjack.”
“I told him that I can’t bring him here,” Percy explains. “The veil is thinner in Gotham than in most places.”
“Veil?”
Percy waves him off. “Another term for the Mist. Since mythological things tend to avoid this city, there’s not a lot of Mist around here so I have to be extra careful about who and what I bring here.”
“Makes sense. Seriously, though. Damian will never leave you alone if you start talking about magic animals.”
“Yeah because the rest of you have been super distant,” Percy mumbles, picking up another batarang.
Tim lets out a sarcastic laugh, slapping his hand to the table for effect. The resulting shake causes Percy’s tower of batarangs to come crashing down. “Aw, c’mon!” Percy protests, scowling at the vigilante’s back as he leaves the cave. Something about a meeting in the morning.
“What’s all the commotion?” Dick asks, entering the cave as Tim disappears into the stupid clock elevator.
“I’m going to kill your brother,” Percy informs him, pointing with a batarang for emphasis.
Dick seemed generally unconcerned by the weapon pointed at his person. “If I had a nickel…” he mumbles, heading for the showers.
Chapter Text
If Tim was a waterfall of curiosity and questions, Dick was a dam. It was clear that he wanted to know, that he had questions at the ready, but he resisted the urge to pile them all at Percy's feet. Instead, he asked him how his classes were and how his girlfriend was and if any of his friends wanted to come over.
For a vigilante who’d been doing this for most of his life, Dick really wasn’t all that subtle.
Of course, that could easily be attributed to the fact that Dick trusted Percy. Subtly wasn’t a necessary evil. Trust was such an interesting phenomenon to Percy. It was something that had nearly gotten him killed time and time again and it was something that had saved his life more times than he could count. Trust was possibly the biggest double-edged sword in the universe.
But that was enough dwellings from teenage war veterans.
When Dick had asked if any of his friends wanted to come over, Percy realized that he’d never once asked his friends to come over. Not even when he lived with his mom. When he was younger, Percy hadn’t had a lot of friends and the ones that he did have, he hadn’t wanted to subject them to Gabe or the incessant, nonstop dripping of his faucet.
Then, when he was older, he had more friends. Unfortunately, they were all demigods who generally didn’t leave camp because they were liable to die anytime they did. So, Percy didn’t invite them over because he knew that it wasn’t generally possible for them to come anyway. That, and the fact that he wasn’t used to being able to. The scars from Gabe’s presence ran deep.
Demigods were busy. When they weren’t on quests, they were training or taking lessons or doing a million of the things needed to improve the quality of life for the everyday demigod. And that wasn’t even taking into account the things that they had to do when they weren’t at camp. Keeping up their grades, trying to avoid looking suspicious to their classmates, after-school activities, and - in most cases - tutoring. Not being a tutor, getting tutored. ADHD and dyslexia made school a huge pain in the ass.
So while many of Percy’s friends had met his mom at one point or another (usually for quest related reasons), he’d never actually invited them over. Nico tended to just show up when it suited him and Grover usually did the same. That, or, his mom invited him over. The seven had dropped by a couple of times to grab something on their way to some quest or errand. Really, everyone Percy considered his friend had met his mom and been in his apartment but never once had Percy actually asked them to come over.
Even with Annabeth, he’d always asked her to meet him somewhere or said that they’d pick her up from camp. And then, when they started going out she just started dropping by whenever he didn’t go to her.
When he’d moved to Gotham, he hadn’t invited anyone to visit. Partially because this wasn’t his house, not really. He wasn’t going to invite anyone to a house he didn’t trust. Well, except Annabeth and even then, he hadn’t actually asked her to come. He’d just let her invite herself over and trusted that she could take care of herself if anything happened.
It wasn’t that Percy didn’t want his friends to come to the manor, it was more so that it was a fucking manor. He lived in a manor. His closest friends in the world lived in cabins in a summer camp filled with various nosey siblings for most of the time and he lived in a manor. Even Piper, who’s father was one of the most famous actors in America, didn’t live in a fucking manor. It was equal parts “he didn’t want to humble brag on accident” and “it was embarrassing as fuck”.
Of course, you couldn’t not invite any of your friends to your house for your entire life and then suddenly invite them and not expect them to be a little suspicious about it.
“Uh, Percy?” Jason calls down the hall. “Can I assume that these are your armed teenagers or should I call the cops?”
Percy knew perfectly well that by “cops”, Jason meant that he was going to go put on his stupid red helmet (not a hood, he didn’t give a fuck what the man called himself) and flash his guns. With this particular group, all that would get him was a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah, they’re mine,” Percy replies, making his way to the front door. “Why are they armed, though?”
“Sounds like a you problem,” Jason tells him. Helpful, as always.
Annabeth sighed, like she thought the whole situation was stupid despite the drakon bone sword strapped to her hip. “They thought you might have been kidnapped,” she informs him.
“What?” Percy asks, laughing as he lets his friends into the house. “Why would you think that?”
“You know how many times I’ve gotten a text from you that says ‘you should come visit’?” Piper asks. “Never, that’s how many times. And you followed it up with ‘bring everyone’.”
Leo raises his finger, like the complete weirdo that he was. “And don’t let Annabeth fool you, she was totally panicked.”
Percy looks to his girlfriend, who only shrugs. “It’s happened before.”
“Okay,” he says slowly. “Well, I’m not kidnapped, nobody is in danger, and you can put your weapons away. Also, this is Jason.”
“Sup.”
Hazel examines him for a moment. “Will he also be putting his weapon away?” she asks. A fair question considering the fact that Jason - to put it nicely - was built like a brick shit house. Percy has checked the kitchen for steroids multiple times but he must be hiding them at his own house because they’re not at the manor.
Leo raises an eyebrow. “The gun or his-”
“OKAY!” Frank exclaims over the sound of Jason’s incredulous laughter, Piper’s cackling, and Hazel’s scolding.
Jason laughs. “You kids are fun,” he says, shifting his jacket to cover the holster of his gun once more. “Which one of you twerps is the other Jason?”
Blonde Jason raises his hand. “That would be me, sir.”
“Ew,” Furry Jason replies. “Don’t do that. Ever. I’ll shoot you. Cookies are in the kitchen.”
He walks away, leaving Percy’s favorite group of stupid teenagers with pointy objects in the entryway to the manor. “I thought you had a butler, are you stealing his job?” Piper asks, peering down either side of the hall like Alfred was going to materialize from the shadows like a…well, like Nico.
“He’s out driving Bruce around for all of his thousands of appointments,” Percy tells her, leading them toward the kitchen. He knew good and well that his friends would require cookies before they would be willing to do anything else.
Frank squints at a bust of who was probably Bruce’s great-grandpa in the hallway as they pass. “What’s he doing?”
“Dunno,” Percy shrugs. “Kissing babies or something.”
Piper snorts. “What is he? Metroman?”
Percy grins to himself. They had no idea. He’d promised not to tell anyone when he’d first found out that Bruce and his children were actually Batman and the various Robins and then whatever dumb names they’d chosen for themselves post-Robin.
Of course, some of his friends (like Thalia and Rachel) already knew but that was because the Waynes were insanely obvious. Sure, Percy hadn’t immediately guessed that they were vigilantes but he had immediately known that something was wrong with them. Seriously, at least half of them were strapped at all times.
So, yeah, he was pretty sure that their secret nightly furry conventions weren’t going to stay a secret for too long but he wasn’t going to be the one to tell his friends. He didn’t need to, they were smart people. He’d already set Annabeth on the trail by telling her about Bruce’s clock earlier that month, it wasn’t long until she connected the rest of the dots.
Notes:
I have once again fucked myself over by creating short chapters. I like consistency, which means that since the first chapter was shorter, they all have to be. So, this visit will be split into at least two chapters. Fear not, you will receive the story of how Leo was banned from the manor. That's my promise to the people.
Big inner-monolouge chapter for Percy, which is fun because that's really the only time he lets himself be negative. When nobody else can hear him. He's fun to write. Duality of man.
Annabeth is absolutely going to figure them out, she can't stand that Percy won't tell her what happened.
I love Jason (Furry Jason, specifically) so much, I had to include him in the chapter. Also, I don't care that the seven weren't actually besties in the books, I am the God of this fic and I say that they love each other very much.
Sally mention! Love her, so sad that I had to kill her off.
Chapter Text
In hindsight, Percy really should’ve expected his friends to cause trouble. They were a group of battle-ready teenagers hyped up on ADHD and surrounded by very old, very breakable things. Bruce alone was a liability. Who knew how much more his brittle old-man bones could take? Furry Jason had vacated the premises relatively early for a man who craved chaos. Percy was almost positive that he was telling his siblings that Percy’s weird demigod friends had arrived - Damian’s words, not his.
Speak of the devil, the kid was already in the kitchen when they got there. Percy wasn’t convinced that the manor didn’t have secret passageways. It was a manor, for Zeus’ sake. “You all look like walking safety hazards,” he sniffs derisively, eyeing Leo’s toolbelt and the various weapons still visible on the persons of his friends.
“If you’re here to steal cookies, I’m more than willing to beat a kid’s ass,” Percy warns him.
Damian scoffs at him. “You would be lucky to make it three steps forward, Jackson. Don’t flatter yourself.”
Hazel lifts a hand to cover her grin. Percy laughs. “Whatever, pipsqueak. I’m assuming you don’t want introductions.”
“No.”
“Too bad.” Percy wraps his arm around Damian’s shoulders before he could escape. “That’s Jason, Piper, Hazel, Frank, Leo, and you know my lovely girlfriend Annabeth.”
Damian tries once more to pull out of his grip before seeming to give up. “Yes, we’re all aware of your disgusting romantic relations.”
“Ouch,” Leo whistles. “But not completely untrue.”
Annabeth elbows him. Hazel asks, “You’ve never had a crush?”
“Romance is a pathetic waste of time. I have more important things to occupy my time,” Damian tells her simply, nose practically pointing at the ceiling.
Percy grins, this kid was hilarious. He dressed up in spandex at night but he thought Percy was the weird one for having a girlfriend. “Yeah, yeah,” he says, pushing Damian toward the door. “Go bother Tim. I think I saw him poking around your room yesterday.”
Damian gasps. “Drake!” he thunders, taking off down the hallway.
“It’s like if Nico was a snobby rich kid,” Hazel gasps, hand over her heart. “He’s adorable.”
Percy snickers. “Don’t let him hear you say that, he’ll want revenge.”
“What’s he going to do?” Leo snorts. “Sicc his butler on me?”
“He could,” Percy shrugs. “But he likes to handle it himself. Tim still finds worms in his room sometimes.”
They all recoil, disgust crossing their features. “That kid is the devil,” Frank says sagely.
Blond Jason forces a smile. “At least he’s creative?”
“Forget about the kid,” Piper says dismissively. “I was promised cookies, Jackson.”
Percy barks out a laugh and walks further into the kitchen to grab the plastic container of cookies he had made the other day. The container - much like its contents - was bright blue. He hardly had time to let go of the box before his friends were ripping it open like a pack of animals.
Leo points a cookie at him and, through a mouthful of dessert, he says, “Okay, so, posh Nico totally had daggers on the inside of his shirt, right?”
Percy shrugs in response. Damian had, of course, been armed. He always was but Percy had promised not to say anything to his friends.
“He was,” Annabeth confirms because she promised absolutely nothing. “Two of them.”
Jason shrugged. “He does live in Gotham,” he says, always one to try and find a logical explanation.
“We’re in his house,” Frank counters, frowning slightly. “We had to jump a gate to get to the front door.”
“Which means others could too,” Piper replies.
“Nobody would jump the gate,” Leo snorts. “They’re not that stupid.”
Hazel makes a sound, equal parts offended and amused. “We did it.”
Leo nods in agreement like ‘duh’ and Hazel punches him in the shoulder. Leo yelps and stumbles back, immediately tripping over nothing and falling backwards out of the kitchen. As he falls, he scrambles and reaches blindly into his belt and shooting up.
Of course, because Leo was a demigod and they had universally the worst luck ever, the grappling gun he shot wrapped around the chandelier and pulled him flying up into the sky. “OH GODS, FUCK!” he shrieks, colliding with the metal. He clings to the metal, eyes wide. “It’s dusty as hell up here!”
“I’ll let Alfred know,” Percy calls back sarcastically.
“Are you okay?” Hazel calls up. Meanwhile, Frank could hardly breathe with how hard he was laughing. Piper wasn’t much better and even Jason was snickering as he called up to echo Hazel’s question. Annabeth sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, but Percy could see the smile on her face.
Leo risked falling just to let go of the chandelier with one hand just to flip them all off. “Screw you guys!”
“I asked if you were okay!” Hazel exclaims, offended.
“How did you even manage that?” Frank cackles, wiping tears from his eyes.
Leo scowls over his shoulder. “Either grow wings to come get me or shut up!”
Frank snickers and pointedly doesn’t grow any wings. Percy was sure that he would help if it actually looked like Leo was going to fall or otherwise hurt himself but for now, he seemed to prefer watching and laughing. In all fairness, it wasn’t often that one of them ended up in these ridiculous situations outside of camp or quests. Or without the interference of monsters.
The chandelier creaked ominously and Leo shrieked. Dick enters the hallway, likely drawn by the sound of screaming and laughing. “Hey, if I can’t do that, neither can you,” he calls up, grinning.
“IT’S OBVIOUSLY NOT ON PURPOSE!” Leo shouts back.
Dick chuckles. “Just fall, kid, we’ll catch you.”
“I DON’T TRUST THOSE ASSHOLES!” Is the retort he receives. It was, obviously, not true. Leo had proven that he trusted them over and over again but Percy couldn’t really blame them when Frank was genuinely crying from laughing so hard.
One of the chains warps, making a terrible sound that has them all freezing. The laughter dies instantly. “Okay, Leo, you need to let go,” Percy calls up, frowning.
“I’m not sure I can,” Leo admits, knuckles white. After everything he’d been through, it was almost strange that this was scaring him as badly as it was.
Dick curses as the chandelier creaks and the chains warp further, nearly snapping. “You have to let go!”
“I’m coming down either way!” Leo shrieks, trying to reach for his toolbelt.
The rest of them call up to him, not able to do much. Frank prepared to transform but Jason beat him to it, lifting into the air to grab Leo under his armpits just before the chandelier fell.
“Step back!” Piper exclaims, charmspeak imbued in her words.
As she steps back, Hazel lifts her hands and keeps all of the jewels and gold in the chandelier from flying out upon impact. The glass still shatters but the mess is drastically reduced.
Dick blinks for a moment as Jason carefully sets Leo down away from the mess of broken glass. “Well,” he mutters. “That was…better than it probably should’ve been.”
“Our specialty is usually the opposite,” Annabeth sighs.
“We’ll clean it,” Percy assures him sheepishly.
Dick gives him a look, the patented ‘you’re being ridiculous’ look that he was always giving his brothers and, more recently, Percy. “We’ll all clean it,” he replies. “Come on, let’s go find Alfie’s cleaning supplies.”
“Does he hide them?” Hazel asks.
“It’s a fucking mansion,” Leo snorts. “Of course he hides them.”
Annabeth shakes her head with a smile. “They’ve been here for ten minutes and they’ve already broken something.”
“Uh, who’s they?” Frank replies. “I broke nothing.”
“Okay, fuck you, dude,” Leo huffs.
“Pass.”
“I hate you so much, man.”
“Thanks, love you too.”
“No.”
Notes:
In "Hero In Gotham", I mention someone breaking the chandelier in the last chapter. This is what happened. Literally just usual teenage stupidity.
Not a whole lot of Gotham people in this chapter but there will be in the next chapter, pinky promise.
It's so hard to give everyone lines when there are so many people so I just picked who I assume to be the loudest people in the group. Leo being the notable one.
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