We Can't Be Friends

by softierain

Summary:

“You know him.” Marcus definitely wasn’t expecting that. The statement caught him by surprise, so much he wasn’t even sure who the other was talking about. “Your mentor. You know him.” Reaper clarified, probably seeing Marcus’ confusion.

Oh.

Or, Reaper has questions and Marcus starts psychoanalyising himself (who never did am I right)

Notes:

before we start, this fic can be both intended as platonic or romantic Sejarcus. However (though not specified cause denial) I did write with in my mind having Marcus with a crush on Sejanus. But you can read it any way you prefer :)

It's also 90% a Marcus character study, hence why there's no romance, just feelings(pain)

“Marcus.” The voice, coming from behind him, at first startled Marcus. It was late at night, almost everyone was sleeping - or trying to - and he wasn’t expecting anyone to start a conversation out of nowhere. He turned around and saw Reaper towering over him.

The thing about Reaper was that he didn’t have to try and be intimidating, his looks already suggested so. Marcus didn’t think he was going to kill him or any of the similar, but almost out of instinct he grabbed the first rock he found near him and kept it in his closed fist. He tried to hide the action, and if Reaper had noticed he didn’t say anything about it.

“Reaper.” Marcus responded. He started wondering the possibilities as to why he wanted to speak with him. The first that came to his mind was to form some sort of alliance. Marcus wasn’t stupid nor deaf, he knew out of everyone there they had the best shot at winning, an opinion shared by most of the Capitol. Or at least by those who had visited the Zoo. Maybe Reaper had gotten the idea from the two kids from District 4, Coral and Mizzen, who seemed to be scheming a lot with… Marcus didn’t remember his name, but he was sure he had heard them calling him Lumberjack. 

Then again for Reaper to propose an alliance seemed unlikely, due to the presence of Dill. Marcus doubted he would have done anything that could bring her harm- which included leaving her to face the Games on her own. 

“You know him.” Marcus definitely wasn’t expecting that. The statement caught him by surprise, so much he wasn’t even sure who the other was talking about. “Your mentor. You know him.” Reaper clarified, probably seeing Marcus’ confusion.

Oh. 

Before Marcus had even the chance to open his mouth to explain himself, Reaper interrupted him. “There’s no point in lying. I saw the way he was begging for you to take the sandwich- more than for all of us to.” He looked away, saying nothing, not knowing how to respond. “Besides, he knows your name and showed up for you. I don’t think any of the others did.”

Marcus shook his head and nodded to where Lucy Gray was sleeping. “Pretty boy did.” 

Reaper snorted. “Pretty boy is insane.” Despite himself Marcus let out a soft laugh. “So how does someone from District 2 know someone from the Capitol?” He asked again, and Marcus frowned.

“Why do you care?” He asked, getting defensive. 

Reaper raised his hands in a surrendering manner. “I’m just curious. You gotta admit it’s strange.” He wasn’t wrong. He would have probably thought the same thing if he had seen it happen to someone else. A tribute from the Districts who knows one of the Capitol’s students? Impossible.

“Sejanus was born in District 2.” Marcus explained. There really was no reason to lie. In just a few days one of them would have been dead- if not both. And Marcus couldn’t come up with any way with which Reaper could have used those informations against him. The thought he could have tried to kill Sejanus began to form in his head, but he quickly pushed it away, as if the scenario seemed too absurd to even think about it. 

“Born and raised there. At least until he turned eight, then he got rich enough to move here.” He threw the rock away and, to his surprise, Reaper sat down next to him. 

“You were friends?” He asked, in a gentle tone. Marcus wasn’t sure why Reaper was even still there, or why he seemed to care so much about his past. But something about the way he was sitting with his legs crossed, so willing to listen to him, put Marcus at ease so much he didn’t mind sharing his story with him. 

“Not exactly,” he began, “but we definitely weren’t enemies.”

 

T en years before - District 2

 

It was still snowing outside. Marcus wasn’t a big fan of snow, he found it extremely annoying. It was wet, got everywhere under his clothes and made the roads extremely slippery. He had almost fallen down twice on his way to school! 

But someone who, on the contrary, loved snow, was his classmate Sejanus. Anytime it snowed (which, to Marcus’ luck, didn’t happen often in District 2), Sejanus would always stare mesmerized at it, trying to catch snowflakes with his tongue while playing outside and observing the way it fell out of the window during classes. Marcus didn’t really get the appeal, but he liked Sejanus enough to always agree to play with him in the snow.

Marcus turned his head to check the desk next to his, currently empty, but usually occupied by Sejanus. The teacher had started her lesson for so long now, where was he? Was he okay? Had he fallen sick? Or fallen on the street on his way there? Marcus couldn’t help but worry for his classmate, usually always perfectly on time.

He would have checked at his house after school, yes. To make sure nothing was wrong. 

Then, as if answering Marcus’ request, Sejanus rushed into the class slamming the door open, drawing all the other kids’ eyes on him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m late, I know, but the roads were slippery and the car-” he gulped, trying to regain his breath, “-the car stopped working and I had to run here.” 

Sejanus lived far from the school, but he was also from one of the few remaining families in District 2 who still owned a functioning car. It had actually been damaged during one of the Capitol’s attacks during the war, but Strabo Plinth had managed to somehow fix it. Not enough for it to work on iced roads, apparently.

“It’s alright Sejanus.” The teacher said calm. “Just sit down and pay attention now.” 

Sejanus looked down embarrassed and nodded quickly. “Yes miss.” Marcus and his other classmates went back to pay attention to the lesson, but not even a second later Sejanus yelled. Everyone’s eyes were on him again, as he was holding his finger in his hand and blowing on it. 

“T-the door, I just pushed the door close.” Sejanus mumbled. “It smashed my finger.” Marcus could see his eyes starting to water, as he helplessly stared at his finger. Without even thinking and before the teacher could say anything Marcus immediately scooped a cup of snow off the windowsill and brought it to Sejanus, gently taking his hand and putting it into the snow. 

“It’s to help bring down the swelling.” Marcus explained under Sejanus’ surprised gaze. “Ma’ did it for me once.” 

Sejanus stared at him with wide eyes, only a few tears streaming down his face. “Uh, thank you, Marcus.” He sniffed. 

“Good job Marcus, now can you both go to your seats please?” The teacher asked, sighing, clearly in a rush to finish her lesson. Marcus, suddenly aware he had gotten up without permission, nodded embarrassed and went back to sit down. Sejanus did the same next to him, taking out his books.

A few minutes passed before Marcus heard Sejanus calling him. He turned his head to see Sejanus offering him a bunch of gum drops. Marcus frowned, confused. “It’s to thank you. I’d give you more but I don’t have much on me right now.” Sejanus whispered.

Marcus’ eyes widened for a second before nodding and taking the gum drops, immediately eating one. His action made Sejanus smile, mumbling another ‘thank you’ as he put the gum drops back in his bag and gave his attention to the teacher, the smile still wide on his lips. 

Present times - The Capitol

 

Marcus didn’t know why, out of all the things he knew of Sejanus, he had decided to share the snow incident. “We were eight at the time. The war had ended only a month before.”

Reaper nodded, and Marcus had to admit he was surprised he was actually paying attention to his words. “During the war his father got rich with his weapons production. And by the time the war ended, he had enough money to buy his way here.” 

“Bringing Sejanus and his wife along.”

Marcus nodded, staring at his feet. “So why do you hate him?” Reaper asked, catching Marcus by surprise. 

“No one likes the Plinths in District 2.” Marcus said, slightly frowning. But clearly his words didn’t convince Reaper because he insisted.

“I assumed that. I asked, why do you hate him?” 

Marcus didn’t immediately respond, not even sure on what to say exactly. But Reaper didn’t pressure him any further, and gave him time to think. The Plinth family was notoriously disliked in District 2 because they had left everyone there, in their own misery, while they had managed to escape and were now living their best life in the Capitol (who had made District 2’s lives miserable in the first place). And Sejanus, even if he was eight, had been a silent accomplice to the plan. He might not have had a say in the decision, but he sure was living here now while everyone back home suffered. The Plinth name had become so despised that people had got into the habit of spitting on the ground if they were ever mentioned (which didn’t happen often). 

And Marcus agreed. Of course he did, especially when he had to take care of his sick ma’ on his own after his pa’s death. He still remembered how the rain came pouring down the day he passed, his father’s corpse lying in bed as Marcus and his mother sobbed over him, as in a desperate, useless attempt of waking him up. 

Marcus had been thirteen when it happened, and all he could think about as his ma’ spread bread over his body was Sejanus. Sejanus, who at that very moment was probably being tucked in bed by his own father as his mother read him a bedtime story.

Sejanus, who the morning after would have woken up without a worry in the world and would have happily gone to school to greet his new friends. 

Sejanus, who had so much to eat for lunch he surely had to throw away what went wasted.

Sejanus, who left District 2 to have the perfect life while Marcus was still stuck there, about to bury his father.

Marcus knew that if Sejanus hadn’t left District 2 he would have been there at his father’s funeral to comfort him. To offer him gum drops, to let him cry on his shoulder. He knew he would have, because that was who Sejanus Plinth was.

Marcus hated Sejanus. But he also missed him. 

More than once he had expected him to show up at school, to fill the desk next to Marcus and eat gum drops together, hiding from the teacher so as not to get scowled. Every morning since Sejanus had left for a whole year Marcus had hoped to see Sejanus at the school’s entrance. And every morning he entered class with disappointment on his face, the hope he could see him again diminishing a little more everyday until the end of the school year, when Marcus had realized Sejanus wasn’t coming back. Ever.

Sometimes he let himself imagine what his life would have been if he Sejanus hadn’t left District 2. And in those moments he realized they didn’t know each other that well, that maybe they would have simply graduated from school together and then never seen each other again. They didn’t even live close to each other. So why was he upset about his absence? But those thoughts only enraged him more, because his leaving had meant he had taken away the chance of getting to know each other better, to become closer friends.

But Sejanus surely had much nicer friends now, people Marcus could never aspire to even be compared to. Like pretty boy, who Marcus refused to remember the name of, he had seemed to be pretty close to Sejanus. A sting of jealousy hit his chest, remembering the sight of the two talking to each other. “That could have been us.” Marcus had thought earlier that day upon seeing them, before he could stop himself. Had they become friends as soon as Sejanus arrived in the Capitol? Or had their friendship bloomed only later, maybe over a project they had been forced to work on together?

He found himself thinking about the food Sejanus had brought the tributes that morning. Marcus could almost smell the sense of guilt spreading off of him. It made him think if Sejanus had ever thought of him - or anyone else in District 2 - in those years. But he couldn’t have, not when he had new, much richer friends to be with like pretty boy. Why think of anyone like Marcus? 

I hate him because I just wanted him there with me, and he never was. 

“I hate him because he’s living a happy rich life here while I’m stuck in this cage.” Marcus finally responded. Reaper hummed, still sounding unconvinced. But he finally dropped the subject, standing up and patting him on the shoulder.

“Who wouldn’t, am I right?” Were his final words, before he walked off in the darkness to lay down next to Dill.

Marcus’ stomach growled in hunger, “I should have taken that stupid sandwich.” He commented annoyedly as he laid down hoping, despite himself, Sejanus would show up there again the day after.

Notes:

my first attempt at writing Marcus so I hope I did him justice! Sorry if either him or Reaper were ooc :)

kudos and comments are always appreciated <33