Work Stories 4

by MoreThanAFeeling (Daretodream66)

Summary:

Continuation of Work Stories. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1: You'll Be in My Heart

You’ll Be in My Heart  

 

Steve’s delicate hands cradle Bucky’s face, staring into steel blue eyes with sky blue. “Whether you want to or not, you have to go.”  

Since coming back, the only time that Bucky feels at home is when he’s looking into Steve’s eyes. “Baby, it means being gone for ten months. We just bonded.”  

Steve blushes and looks down. “Bucky, you have to go be Captain America.” Taking Steve’s hands from his face, Bucky kisses each one. When he looks up from Steve’s hands, there are tears in Bucky’s eyes. “You go be him and then come home to me and just be my Bucky.”  

Bucky buries his nose in Steve’s neck, inhaling the scent of his new mate. Meeting Steve was not on Bucky’s agenda, but during the alien invasion, Bucky had run into Steve, knocking him to the ground. Steve had jumped up from the pavement, punched Bucky in the nose and called him an asshole alpha and run the opposite direction. Bucky went after him, shielding the petite omega until he was headed down into the subway. Midway down, Steve had turned around, grinned at Bucky and told him that maybe he wasn’t that much of an asshole, called out his name and disappeared. Bucky felt his heart swoop and hunted Steve down after recovering from the invasion.  

“While I’m gone, I want you to go to my apartment, pack my things and move me in here. When I come home, I want to come home to you.” Steve can’t help it and starts to cry. He nods, resting his forehead against Bucky’s chin and feels a kiss to the top of his head. “I love you. I love you so much.”  

“I love you too. So, so much. Be safe. Promise me, you’ll be safe.” Bucky nods, tears coursing down his cheeks.  

Pulling Steve against him, Bucky kisses his omega, not wanting to leave. They mated two days before, and registered the mating. Normally, newly mated pairs are left alone for at least a week. Then the call came in this morning and Bucky was told the extended mission and the dire situation that needed the Avengers. Leaving Steve is tearing Bucky apart.  

“I will always come home to you, Steve. And when I get home, I’m taking a few months off and we’re gonna have a honeymoon and I’ll be around so much you’ll get sick of me.” Steve gives a wet chuckle, pulling Bucky in again.  

“Never. I’ll never get tired of you.” They share another kiss, then Bucky drags himself out of the apartment, down to the waiting car.  

On the way to the Tower, Bucky asks Happy to do him a favor. “I need you to make sure that Steve Rogers has everything he needs. Get him help moving my things. Make sure he can access my money, so he doesn’t have to worry about anything.”  

Happy assures him that he’ll get everything taken care of. As Bucky heads to the platform, Happy calls after him. “Hey Cap,” Bucky turns, “congratulations.” Bucky tries to smile, but looks crushed under the weight of leaving Steve.  

 

For the first couple of months that Bucky’s gone, Steve’s doing fine. Happy did bring in a crew to help get Cap’s things moved and Happy had Ms. Potts handle the money angle because she’s better at that. Steve doesn’t have to worry about anything and can use his time painting for his coming show. Once Pepper finds out that Steve is an artist, she’s coming and going at his apartment, stunned by his talent.  

The only thing that weighs on Steve is the fact that there isn’t much that anyone can tell him about this mission. All he knows from the morning Bucky left is that it’s need-to-know, and Steve doesn’t have clearance to know. Not even Pepper can find out where the Avengers are or what they’re doing. The longer it goes, the harder it is for Steve to control emotions that he’s not used to having. He’ll go days and be fine, then he’ll have a day that all he can do is cry.  

Nine weeks after Bucky’s departure, Happy drives Pepper over to the apartment, so she can have breakfast with Steve. She called earlier, letting him know that she’s on her way. What they find is terrifying. Letting themselves in, they find Steve on the floor, unconscious. “Call the Tower! Tell them to send an ambulance!” Happy’s moving before the words are completely out of Pepper’s mouth.  

Sitting on the floor, Pepper pulls Steve’s head into her lap, checking him over. Happy hangs up the call, kneeling next to her. “They’re on the way.”  

It’s only a few hours later that Steve sits up in bed, eyes wide, trying to figure out if he heard the doctor correctly. “I’m...pregnant?”  

Dr. Mallory smiles kindly. “You are.”  

“But,” he blushes at what he’s about to say, “Bucky and I were only together for a couple of days.”  

“Well, Mr. Rogers, it only takes once and a high compatibility, which I’m guessing you and Captain Barnes must be.” Steve’s known since they met that they hit the high side of compatibility. That just seemed to be a given after their first date. Not wanting to be a notch in anyone’s bedpost, Steve told Bucky that he wouldn’t sleep with him until they knew each other better. Bucky had laughed and told Steve that they wouldn’t be together until they mated. Old fashioned ideas are hard to break.  

“Yeah...yeah...okay.” After telling Pepper, she wants to call someone that can get a message to Bucky and have him come home, but Steve won’t let her. The whole world has been wondering and speculating on the mission; all anyone knows is that the Avengers are up to the necks in this battle and that it’s taken the team all over the world.  

“Steve, he should know.” Pepper sits on the edge of the bed, taking his hand.  

“I know, but I also know that if he loses focus, he could get hurt.” Shaking his head in resignation, Steve looks up into Pepper’s eyes. “No, let them finish this.” His hope is that the team will finish it earlier than they believe, and Bucky will come home sooner.  

As the months come and go, Steve gets updates from JARVIS. Unfortunately, just when the Avengers think they’re almost done, another attack happens halfway across the world and they’re off and fighting again. Steve keeps working on commissions and rubbing his ever-growing belly. Being small, petite even, he’s showing more than most would.  

More than anything, he’d like to wait for Bucky to come home, so they could plan the nursery, but Pepper tells him that he needs to start getting things ready. She sends books over with ideas for the small, second bedroom.  

“I think I like this one.” Steve’s showing the picture to Pepper, when she comes over bringing dinner for them. “I could even use this wall for a mural.”  

Clasping her hands together, Pepper loves the idea. “What would you paint?”  

“I was thinking about important points in our lives. Starting before, you know, before Bucky came out of the ice.” Pepper tears up, causing Steve to tear up. “He’s going to come home, isn’t he?”  

Hugging her new friend, Pepper nods. “Of course, he is.”  

 

Steve waddles to the front door. According to Dr. Mallory, he could go into labor any time. Rubbing up and down his stomach, Steve wonders if it’s possible that the baby is actually more of his body weight than his own body. Chuckling at his own thinking, he swings the door open. For months he’s dreamed of this moment, lying in bed, running a hand over the baby bump, praying that Bucky will come home safe.  

Now that the moment is here, Steve feels his legs give out. Bucky stands on the other side of the door, huge smile on his face, until he sees Steve’s condition. The smile fades away, replaced by disbelief. “Steve?”  

Grabbing the doorframe, Steve tries to hold himself up. When it doesn’t work, and he starts to slip down, Bucky catches him. Swinging Steve into his arms, Bucky heads inside, to the living room. “Yo...you’re home.”  

Laying his omega on the sofa, Bucky glares down. “Why didn’t you tell me, Steve?” Placing a hand on Steve’s stomach, Bucky starts to cry.  

Steve’s shaky hand reaches up, caressing Bucky’s face. “I missed you.”  

The upset that Bucky was feeling melts away. “I missed you too, Baby. Now, why didn’t you tell me?”  

“Because you had a job to do and knowing this would have split your focus. To come back safe, you had to just be in the fight.” Tears are streaming down his face, and Steve doesn’t feel any self-consciousness about it.  

Leaning in, Bucky buries his nose in Steve’s neck, inhaling the scent of love, hope and family. “How much longer?”  

“The doctor says it could be any day.” Raising his head, Bucky wipes the tears from Steve’s face, not bothering about his own tears. “You let your hair grow.” Steve reaches up, curling Bucky’s hair around his finger. “I like it.”  

Bucky gives a wet chuckle. “It’s not like I could take a break for a haircut and if you like it then I’ll keep it.”  

“Does that offer of taking a few months off still stand?” Resting his hand on Steve’s stomach and leaning in for a kiss, Bucky smiles.  

“You’re damn right I’m taking time off. I’d like to see them try to drag me away.”  

 

It’s only two days later, when Steve wakes in the wee hours of the morning, stomach tight and a deep pain inside. His initial reaction is fear that something’s gone wrong, then he realizes that it’s something else. Looking over, Bucky’s still sleeping, so Steve gets up, heading into the bathroom. He’s sitting because he can’t even see the toilet over his stomach anymore. Something feels like it gives and he hears a loud splash into the toilet.  

Grabbing a towel, putting it into his pajama pants, Steve goes into the bedroom. Bucky’s first day home, he’d carried Steve to the bedroom and lavished the omega with love and tenderness. He didn’t let Steve get up no matter how tired Bucky seemed to be, serving him dinner in bed. Looking over, Steve sees how soft Bucky is in sleep and revolts against the idea of waking him.  

Getting his bag from the closet, Steve puts it by the front door, when another pain hits. Leaning against the wall, he puffs out his breaths like he learned from the birthing videos. Picking up his phone, Steve places a call to Happy. Then another pain hits and Steve cries out, doubling over. “I’ll have a car there in a few minutes, Mr. Barnes.”  

Bucky comes stumbling out of the bedroom, looking only half awake and only wearing pajama pants, until he sees Steve sliding down the wall, clutching his stomach. “Why the fuck didn’t you wake me, Steve?”  

Steve’s huffing, glaring up at Bucky. “You were sleeping!”  

Bucky’s a smart man, understands people and knows Steve better than anyone. Cupping Steve’s delicate face with his hands, Bucky swallows his frustration. “I know I was gone for a long time and you had to do everything for yourself, but I’m here now and you have to let me be part of this.”  

Once the words are out, Steve realizes that he’s put up a wall with his mate. “I’m sorry.” Tears start coursing down his cheeks. Some out of fear, some from relief that Bucky’s here. “I just...you weren’t here and I had to figure out how to do things on my own.”  

Steve picks up his bag as Bucky heaves him into his arms, heading out the door. “Well, you’re not on your own anymore. And I’m the one that should apologize for not being here for this.”  

The car pulls up as they get to the bottom step. Bucky slips into the back seat, Steve still cradled against his chest. Happy doesn’t mention Bucky’s half-dressed state. “I called the doctor and she’s waiting on the medical floor.”  

On the medical floor, things move faster than Steve was prepared for. Dr. Mallory has him in the stirrups, screaming over at the nurse. “The baby’s crowning.”  

Bucky doesn’t know what to do except to offer encouragement and his hand to Steve. Steve’s been pushing for a few minutes, when the doctor looks up at him. Glancing up into the mirror, Bucky can see the baby’s head. “Jesus, Steve.”  

Steve screams out again, clamping down on Bucky’s hand. “Captain Barnes, this baby was ready to meet you both.” Dr. Mallory sees the look of terror cross Bucky’s face and smiles behind her mask. “First time fathers and mothers, don’t usually have this easy of a time.”  

Bucky looks down at Steve, who’s sweaty and looks like he’s in agony. “This doesn’t seem all that easy, Doc.”  

A few more pushes and the little girl cries out into the delivery room. The nurse takes her and Steve leans back into the pillows, breathing. “What is it?” Bucky looks down. “Boy or girl?” When he sees Bucky’s confusion, Steve smiles. “I didn’t want to know.”  

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Bucky takes Steve’s hands, kissing them. “It’s a girl.”  

Dr. Mallory finishes up with Steve, when the nurse comes over, placing the tiny bundle in Bucky’s arms. Looking down, the reality of the situation hits him. He left his new mate, days after bonding and comes home to being a father. “She’s perfectly healthy, Captain.”  

Looking at the nurse, he tries to smile under the weight of this new life completely dependent on him and Steve. “Thanks.”  

Bucky starts walking around the room, just staring at the baby. Steve watches, trying to figure out what’s happening. He’s as surprised as everyone else in the room when Bucky comes over, placing the baby girl carefully in Steve’s arms. “I need a minute.”  

Steve watches as he walks out of the room. He feels his world crumbling around him. They never talked about kids. They assumed that would be conversation after a couple of years. Now, Steve’s sitting in bed, watching Bucky walk away. The doctor and nurse are watching him, trying to see if they should say something.  

Steve looks down at the little girl in his arms. “Everything’s gonna be okay. You’ll always have me. I’ll never leave you.”  

Dr. Mallory guides the nurse out of the room. “Steve, we’re going to give you some bonding time with her. Just press the button if you need anything.” Steve nods, not even looking up.  

If he looks up, they’ll see the devastation in his eyes. After a couple of years of dating, then bonding with an alpha that Steve loves more than his own life, he’s going to raise this baby to the best of his ability, with or without Bucky. “I got you, Little One.”  

 

Bucky goes up to the roof, standing on the platform and wondering if he deserves to have Steve and that perfect little girl. Steve went through all this alone. He didn’t need Bucky. This morning, when he was in labor, he didn’t even wake Bucky up. Steve doesn’t need him and seems to be just fine without him.  

He’s not expecting to be joined by Clint, who stands next to him, looking up at the sky. “You know, it’s normal for the alpha to be with the omega and baby to bond.”  

“They don’t need me.” It isn’t what he says that makes Clint look over, it’s how he says it.  

“It isn’t about need, Cap. It’s about want.” Bucky looks over, resignation on his face.  

“I don’t think that he wants me either.” Clint chuckles, bumping his shoulder against Bucky’s.  

Looking back at the sky, Clint starts talking, hoping that he can make this idiot understand. “When Laura was pregnant with Lila, I was away on a mission. I didn’t have to go, I chose to. So, during the pregnancy Laura was alone, with Coop, doing all the things that strong omegas do. She took care of Coop, took care of the farm, took care of herself.” He turns, forcing Bucky to turn also, looking defeated. “I got home a week after Lila was born. You know what I found?”  

“No.” Bucky’s sinking deeper and deeper into a depression.  

“I found my mate, a farm that was well run, Coop having a nice lunch, the baby in a sling around Laura’s chest. The house was clean, and there was a nice meal on the stove for dinner.” Clint chuckles. “No, Cap, they don’t need us, but they want us. She knew that I was needed for that mission, the same way that Steve knows you were needed. Believe me, he wants you, he just doesn’t know how to ask because he doesn’t think that he should ask.”  

Looking back into the building, Bucky sees the rest of the team, waiting to see what he’ll do. “I need to go out for just a little bit. When I get back, I need you to make sure to clear them out of the room because I know everyone is waiting to go see the baby.”  

Clint claps him on the shoulder. “You go do what you need. I’ll take care of that motley crew.”  

Bucky runs for the elevator and out of the building. When he comes back, he goes straight to the room they put Steve in. When the door flies open, the team freezes, along with Steve, staring at the heaving alpha by the door. Clint, good as his word, ushers everyone out. Steve’s sitting in the bed, looking over at Bucky with hope.  

Coming to the bed, he puts the teddy bear and flowers on the table. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Steve starts to say something, so Bucky shakes his head. The baby stops nursing, and Steve raises her to his shoulder, rubbing her back. “Steve, I left on that mission and you did what you’ve always done, you took care of yourself. I want you to need me, but that’s not realistic. You’ve been taking care of yourself, since you were seventeen. This is just one more reason that I love you. I want you to need me, but even if you just want me, I’ll settle for that.”  

The baby burps, making Bucky chuckle. “Let me hold her, please.” Handing her over, Bucky cradles her against his chest, looking down at their little miracle. Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a box. “I wanted to give you this before, but there wasn’t time.”  

Handing the box over, Steve looks up, while taking it, not sure what’s happening. “What’s this?”  

“Just open it.” Bucky sways back and forth, gently rocking the baby.  

Steve opens the box, finding another inside made from velvet. Tears well up in his eyes. When he opens the box, he finds two rings inside. They’re beautiful. “Buck?”  

“I love you and we’ve bonded, but I thought you might want something like this.” Steve nods vigorously. Holding out his hand, Steve slips the larger ring on Bucky’s finger. Bucky takes the other one, slipping it on Steve’s.  

Looking down at how the ring looks on his finger, Steve sobs out, “I do need you...and I want you. It was so hard going through this pregnancy alone, but I found my footing. I have a hard time letting go of control,” he looks up at Bucky, “except with you, then you weren’t there and I had to figure this all out by myself.”  

Bucky sits down, still holding the baby, reaching out to caress Steve’s cheek. “I love you more than I thought possible to love anyone. Now, you’ve given me this whole other person to love. My world revolves around you and this little girl. I’ll do the job if only to keep you and her safe.”  

By the time Clint sneaks a peek into the room later, he finds Cap, in the bed with Steve and the baby. Smiling, he backs out, happy that another idiot alpha didn’t screw up too bad.  

 

Bucky swings the door open, so glad to be home. He’s still in his stealth suit because he didn’t care about changing before coming home. Dropping the shield by the door, he heads further into the new apartment to find his family. He can hear Steve talking and a squealing babble from the kitchen. “Steve!”  

His mate turns from the stove, seeing Bucky and runs into his mate’s arms. “Welcome home, Buck.”  

Milly screams in delight at seeing her father. Bucky leans in, kissing Steve and just holding him for a few extra seconds. “How are you?”  

“Tired but okay.” Steve looks over at the baby, who’s four months old now. Her brunette hair curls around her face and her bright blue eyes shine with joy. “That one doesn’t like to sleep when you aren’t home.”  

Bucky kisses Steve again. “Maybe I can get up with her tonight and let you sleep.”  

Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah, that would be great, if you had the ability to feed her.”  

Milly tries to wiggle around, reaching out for Bucky. Steve releases his mate, so Bucky goes over, pulling her from the highchair. “How’s my little angel doin?”  

Steve stands back, watching as Milly leans her little forehead against Bucky’s chin. The alpha’s eyes close and he breathes in this amazing life that Steve gave him. “I missed you, Little One.”  

Leaning back, Bucky smiles at his daughter. She clasps her little hands in front of her, smiling up at her father. Steve’s heart swells with the love he has for those two. Bucky looks over, seeing everything he ever wanted...and needed.  

 

 

   

Chapter 2: Que Sera Sera

Summary:

Congressman James Barnes and his life behind the scenes.

Que Sera Sera  

 

Steve’s been drawing his second favorite subject for the last few hours. Alpine is curled in the chair by the fireplace, tail obscuring her mouth and nose, but big eyes, sometimes closed, sometimes staring at Steve. He smiles over at her as she blinks at him. “You’re a good subject.” She gives him a tiny squeak, then closes her eyes again.  

For the last few years, Steve’s been spending his time at the new compound, training with agents and new Avengers. After returning the stones and Bucky going out with Sam that first time, he’s just been enjoying down time. Rumors about his whereabouts flood the media, both social and mainstream. Steve doesn’t care what anyone says about him, as long as he has Bucky.  

It was a surprise when Bucky announced that he was going to run for Congress, but Steve supported him. At first, no one took him seriously because the Winter Soldier, running for Congress, didn’t seem like something that could actually happen. Steve knew though and now, he’s the boyfriend of a United States Congressman.  

Not that anyone knows that.  

Bucky’s been in Washington DC, setting up his new office and being sworn in and Steve stays in the background because he and Bucky decided that was best. Once Bucky’s more established in Washington, then Steve will come out of the shadows. Bucky was furious that Steve felt like he had to do this, but Steve made him understand that he doesn’t want to jeopardize Bucky’s new life.  

He’s due back today, so Steve put the stew in the slow cooker and the bread is done, waiting on the counter. When he hears the key in the lock, Steve gets up and goes to shut the blinds. Bucky comes in, wearing his dark, blue suit, with his hair slicked back. It makes Steve want to skip dinner.  

“Welcome home, Congressman Barnes.” Bucky smiles, embarrassed. “One of your constituents missed you like crazy.”  

Coming over, Bucky slips his arms around Steve’s waist, pulling him in for a kiss. Hovering inches away, he smirks at Steve. “Oh yeah, and what would that constituent like from their congressman?”  

Steve snorts, getting another kiss. “A nice dinner and an even better dessert.”  

“Help me outta this suit and we can have dessert first.” Steve pushes Bucky’s jacket to the floor, but before he can do anything else, Alpine comes over, standing on her hind legs and reaching up Bucky’s leg. Looking down, Bucky chuckles and gives Steve an apologetic look. Reaching down, he picks the cat up, cuddling her to his chest. “I guess someone else missed me too.”  

Shaking his head, Steve heads into the kitchen, to check dinner. “And I’m all but forgotten now.”  

Bucky follows him in, sitting Alpine on one of the stools by the bar. “Not true, Sweetheart.”  

“I realize that I come second to your furry child, but I’d like a little credit for taking care of the little hellion when you aren’t here.” Bucky steps up behind Steve, wrapping his arms around him.  

“You will always come first.” Steve leans back, letting Bucky just hold him. “I really missed you.”  

“I missed you too.” They end up having dinner, then Bucky showers. When he comes back into the living room, Steve’s working on the sketch of Alpine again. “I wish you’d reconsider coming to Washington with me. I’m gonna be there for months at a time.”  

Steve leans his head back on the sofa, looking up at Bucky. “We talked about this and decided that you needed to establish yourself in Congress before letting the world know about us.”  

Stretching his neck, Bucky gives Steve a kiss. “Yeah, but going without you feels wrong. Plus, I like coming home and finding you.”  

“That big Washington apartment feeling lonely.” Bucky comes around, flopping down on the sofa.  

“You have no idea.” Steve smiles sweetly over at him and pulls Bucky’s head into his lap, after setting the pad and pencil to the side.  

Running his fingers through Bucky’s longer hair, Steve watches how Bucky’s entire body relaxes into the ministration. “If you really want me there, I could show up for a visit, here and there.”  

Taking Steve’s hand, Bucky kisses it. “I understand our reasons for making it this way, but at the end of a long day, going into an empty apartment is...rough.”  

“You could take Alpine back with you.” Bucky bursts with laughter, making Steve smile.  

“I think you’re missing the point. What I get from you and what I get from her aren’t the same, Steve.”  

 

After six months of missing Bucky, Steve makes his first trip to Washington. Alpine is in her carrier, giving Steve a sad look because she wants to come out. However, he learned the hard way that if he lets her out in the car, she has a bad habit of getting on the dash, usually right in front of him. Obscuring his ability to see properly isn’t good for either of them. So, she’s giving him the big eyes, and the occasional pitiful meow.  

“You just stay put for another hour and we’ll be at daddy’s apartment.” Bucky gave Steve a key to his place in Washington, not that Steve’s ever used it. This is meant to be a surprise for the hard-working congressman. “I hope your daddy doesn’t mind us coming down.”  

The parking garage is below the building and Steve knows that Bucky has a space, even though he doesn’t have a car. After getting upstairs, Steve has to admit that Bucky’s Washington apartment is nice. It’s open concept with a large bedroom and bathroom. Setting up Alpine’s litter box and food, Steve goes to see what Bucky has that he can cook for dinner. Opening the fridge, then the freezer, Steve’s concerned because there isn’t much beyond juice and eggs. “We’re gonna have to talk to Bucky about this.”  

Alpine sits on the bar, sniffing around, then staring at Steve. “I can either go out and get groceries, or I can order food.”  

Opening a few drawers, Steve finds a stack of takeout menus. “I guess this is what he does for food.”  

Throwing them back into the drawer, Steve puts his jacket back on, along with a ball cap and glasses. With his bread and longer hair, which he grew out again when Bucky commented how much he liked the ‘bad boy’ phase Steve went through, it’s hard to tell that he’s the former Captain America. Checking his phone, Steve finds the closest grocery store and heads out.  

By the time he’s back, Alpine has made herself at home on Bucky’s bed, letting Steve get dinner going. Checking the time, he knows that Bucky is usually home between eight and eight-thirty, so he goes to shower. It’s getting close to nine when he finally hears the key in the lock.  

Standing in the kitchen with a glass of wine in hand, wearing nothing but a robe, Steve grins when he hears the door open and Bucky say, “What the hell?”  

Alpine comes running from the bedroom when she hears him. “M’row.”  

“Al, what the...how did you get here?” Steve comes around the corner, still grinning.  

“She had a ride down.” Bucky’s face lights up, sitting the cat down and going to pull Steve into his arms. “I take it this is a good surprise.”  

“This is the best surprise.” Pulling back, Bucky seems to be taking in everything about Steve, like he’s forgotten everything. “God, I love you.”  

“I love you too. Now, let’s eat.” They have a quiet dinner with Bucky telling Steve about his job and how fucked up Washington is right now.  

Then Bucky pulls Steve into the bedroom, untying his robe and pushing it from Steve’s impressive shoulders. Kissing across Steve’s neck, Bucky just lets himself breathe. “I know what we agreed to do, but I’m not sure I can do this without you, Steve.”  

“What’s going on, Baby?” Bucky’s eyes soften at the endearment and he looks over at his dresser.  

Sitting on the end of the bed, Bucky doesn’t take his eyes from the top drawer. Steve kneels in front of him, watching Bucky think through what he wants to say. “Steve, there’s corruption in this town, like you wouldn’t believe. They treat the junior congress like they’re all idiots, and seem to forget that I’m not 35-ish, I’m 108 and have seen and done things that they can’t comprehend. I’ve got women, you know, aids, assistants, other members of congress trying to get into my pants.” Steve frowns at that, making Bucky smile down at a very beautiful, very naked Steve. “And all I want is to come home to you, to have dinners with you, to have the comfort of my friend and best guy here.”  

“What are you sayin, Buck?” Bucky gets Steve off the floor, sitting him on the bed, then goes over to the drawer he’s been staring at.  

Getting the box out, he turns back to the bed. Then it’s his turn to kneel in front of Steve. Opening the box, he shows Steve the ring. “I don’t give a damn about what anyone thinks or that we talked about me getting established. I love you so much and have for longer than these people have been alive. I want you as my husband, along with being my best friend. Marry me, Stevie.”  

Steve doesn’t even have to say anything; he just holds out his hand. There was never a doubt about his answer to that question because Bucky’s always been his whole world. “How soon you wanna do this?”  

“As soon as possible. We can go to the courthouse tomorrow if you want.” Steve chuckles, pulling Bucky onto the bed, to lay on top of him.  

“We can do this any way you want.” Reaching up, Steve pulls Bucky into a kiss. “I do think it would be fun to put together a very public ceremony though. Just to piss off some of the conservatives.”  

“You are always going to be a shit, but if that’s how you wanna play this, then I’m all about it.” Bucky gives Steve another kiss. “As long as you know, I’m doin this because I love you more than anything in this world.”  

“You’ve been the center of my world, Bucky Barnes, since I was old enough to understand love.” Steve waggles his eyebrows at his, now, fiancé. “Now, get your damn clothes off, so we can celebrate.”  

Alpine swishes into the room, jumping up on the windowsill and staring out at the night. Swaying her tail back and forth, she blinks at the people still walking along the street. Washington DC isn’t ready for the power couple that’s currently expressing their mutual love and they definitely aren’t ready for the furry child that will always watch out for her daddies.  

 

 

   

Chapter 3: Que Sera Sera Part II

Part II  

Steve walks through the display, hand in hand with Bucky. “Do you really think this is a good idea?”  

The concern that Steve has isn’t about the location for the wedding, it’s about Bucky’s emotional response to the location. They stop, staring at the wall where the Commandos uniforms are standing. If they turn, forty-five degrees, they’ll be staring at the memorial to Bucky. It’s changed in recent years, but Steve will always think of it as a memorial. Steve gets a squeeze to his hand. “I’m fine, Steve.”  

This wasn’t Steve’s first idea for the wedding venue, but when Sam brought it up, Bucky jumped at the chance to do this. “Are you sure?”  

Instead of answering Steve’s question, Bucky turns, staring at his own face. “You know, within a week of the helicarriers, I came here. I stared at that guy and had no idea who he was.” Turning, he grins at Steve, then leans in for a kiss. “Not only do I know him now, I remember why he fought so hard to come back from everything Hydra did.” He leans in again, giving Steve another kiss.  

Someone behind them clears their throat. “Captain Rogers, Congressman Barnes, I’m Jonathan Schiff. I’m in charge of special events. I’m told that you two would like to have your wedding here.”  

Bucky turns, grinning at that man. “Well, not right here, but in the museum.” Steve starts to speak up, but Bucky beats him to it. “And don’t call him Captain, he’s not and technically, never was.”  

Schiff looks over, seeing if Steve has a reaction to that. The grin tells him that Steve’s not offended. “Well, okay, but it’s all over the Captain America displays, so we might want to move to the section that I think would work best for the event.”  

Steve snorts, then, still holding Bucky’s hand, follows Schiff to another section of the museum. When they step through an archway, they both know it’s perfect. “This is amazing.”  

The young man turns, smiling. “I’m glad it meets with your approval.” As he starts talking about set up and costs, which isn’t an issue for Steve or Bucky, a young woman comes over, handing Schiff a tablet. What he reads makes his face turn red. Turning to the woman, he grinds out, “Tell them that they can shove this recommendation up the asses.” She walks away a lot faster than she walked up. Turning back, he tries to smile pleasantly at the two men, but fails miserably. “I’m sorry about that. Now, where were we?”  

Bucky knows that look, as does Steve. “You wanna share what that was about?”  

He shakes his head, but offers, “It would seem that some of the more conservative groups would like me to refuse your request.” Looking around the large room, he turns back and this time the smile is conspiratory. “I say we go over the top with as much as possible and see if we can piss them off more.”  

All three laugh, talking about the wedding party, the size of the guest list, and who is best to cater the wedding. “We have a cake tasting next week.” Bucky gives Schiff the name of the baker that’s doing it.  

“Oh, she’s really wonderful.” Leaning in, he whispers, “Just to let you know, the buttercream that she uses on the cakes is addictive.”  

By the time they walk through the apartment door, Bucky’s trying to unbutton Steve’s shirt. “Buck...Bucky...what...”  

“Just talking about the wedding gets me excited. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like on our actual wedding day.” Getting into the apartment, Steve drags Bucky to the sofa, pushing him down and climbing into his lab.  

Weaving his fingers into Bucky’s hair, Steve gets within millimeters of Bucky’s lips. “You play your cards right, Congressman Barnes, and I’ll drag you behind a sculpture and suck your...”  

Bucky’s hand over Steve’s mouth, stops the words. “You’re a dangerous man, Steve Rogers.”  

Slipping from Bucky’s lap, onto the floor, Steve reaches to unbutton Bucky’s jeans, pulling them down his thighs. “I thought you already knew that.”  

 

Bucky runs across the room, holding the plate, hoarding the cake. Steve’s after him, but Bucky weaves around the displays, while Tara laughs, watching them. “You promised me the last bite!”  

“I take it back! A promise is nothing when the cake is this good!” Steve catches him, which Bucky let him do, both men giggling.  

“You two are not what I was expecting.” They look over at Tara, who can’t stop laughing.  

Bucky does feed Steve the last bite, and watches as Steve’s eyes close as he enjoys the flavor. “We get that a lot.”  

“This is the cake we want. I don’t care about anything else as long as we can have this cake.” Tara starts making notes on her tablet.  

“Okay, that brings up a few other questions about design.” They go through what she has, but nothing piques their interest. “So, none of these really set the tone that you want. Tell me what story you’re trying to tell with this wedding.”  

Bucky looks at Steve and Steve winks at Bucky. “Go on, tell her what you said you wanted on this cake.”  

Blushing, Bucky nudges Steve, but he shakes his head, nodding over at Tara. As a congressman for New York, Bucky knows what he wants, but not if it can actually be done. “We were hoping for the Brooklyn Bridge.”  

“As the whole cake...or...” She’s confused and concerned that this could be out of her expertise.  

“As the cake topper.” She stares at Congressman Barnes, then looks over at former Captain America.  

“As the cake topper?” They both nod. Shaking her head, she goes over to the desk. “Okay, how many guests are we talking. That’s going to determine how big the cake needs to be.”  

“About 200. Not that I really want that many people, but...” Steve reaches down, taking Bucky’s hand.  

“Buck?” Tara watches the two men, seeing something that she finds interesting. They seem to be having a silent conversation. As long as they’ve known each other, it shouldn’t be a surprise, yet it is.  

Taking a cleansing breath, Bucky looks at Tara. “If I had it my way, we’d go to the courthouse in Virginia and do this quietly, but Stevie wants to make a statement.”  

“Ah, I see.” She looks at Steve Rogers. “What message are you trying to send?”  

Giving a half-shrug, Steve smirks. “Mostly...fuck you...to the conservatives.”  

Snorting with laughter, Tara nods. “Okay, then let’s design something for that purpose.”  

 

Back at the apartment, Bucky’s fixing dinner, while Steve cuddles Alpine. “How hard do you think it would be to get Al to carry the rings?”  

Turning from the stove, he sees Steve kissing the top of their furry child’s head. “Harder than we want to work. You know she’s a princess.”  

“Yeah, but putting her front and center might feed her need to be the epicenter of the wedding.” Shaking his head, Bucky turns back to the stove, while Steve talks to Alpine. “What do you think, Alpine, you wanna be part of the wedding party?”  

She jumps down, prissing out of the kitchen. “I’m gonna take that as a no.” Steve chuckles, watching her jump onto the sofa, turning in circles and finally laying down.  

Getting up, Steve goes over to Bucky, wrapping around him from behind. “What’s been on your mind today?”  

Bucky can’t hide anything from Steve and doesn’t try anymore. There was a time, early in his recovery, that he’d smile when he didn’t really feel like it. Now, he offers everything because Steve gives him safety. “I was thinking about a meeting I have tomorrow. I’ve been invited to lunch with some of the senior congress and I know what it’s about.”  

“It’s about the wedding?” Bucky nods, leaning into Steve’s strong arms. “They want you to do this a little more quietly.”  

“Yeah, and I can’t do that. I deserve better than sneaking around. So do you.” Leaning in, Steve kisses Bucky’s neck.  

“They really exploded when they found out it was me.” A few days after the proposal, Bucky put an announcement in one of the smaller, liberal papers in DC. It didn’t take long for that small announcement to get picked up by the mainstream media, then social media. Within days of that, Steve and Bucky went out to dinner, holding hands and being a couple in the open. Support came from all over the world, so did condemnation.  

Then, Captain America and the new Falcon, came out with their support, with Sam and Joaquin commenting on a picture of their friends kissing in the restaurant. It was a simple, ‘It’s about damn time these two old men got their shit together.’ Steve and Bucky laughed for a good, long time about that. Then, Sam had called, asking whose best man he was going to be. It was enough to give Bucky strength to deal with the right-wing conservatives and Steve the encouragement he needed to start telling people to fuck off.  

The only question that most people, that supported the wedding had, was ‘Where has former Captain America Steve Rogers been?’ Steve had taken to social media, a joint account he shares with Bucky, and replied, ‘Where I’ve always been, standing with Bucky.’ The lunch the following day, Steve is sure will be pressure for Bucky to stop throwing his sexuality in the faces of good, decent Americans.  

“Steve, we agreed to do this together. Are you sure you want to deal with the ugly truth about this country?” Steve huffs, turning Bucky in his arms.  

What he sees is one of the changes he’s noticed in Bucky. One that doesn’t want to make Steve’s life harder. “Bucky, I love you and have loved you for longer than any of these people understand. I might still go to Nellis and help Sam with the new Avengers, but my place has always been standing next to you. I’m going to be Congressman Barnes’s husband and that means everything to me.”  

Wrapping his arms around Steve, they pull together, just holding on. “Congressman Barnes wouldn’t admit this before the war, but he’s damn lucky to have you.”  

Offering a kiss, Steve pulls away, winking at Bucky. “Don’t talk about yourself in the third person. It freaks me out.”  

Turning back to dinner, Bucky sniggers. “I love you, Steve.”  

Steve smiles into Bucky’s neck. “I love you too, Buck.”   

 

Chapter 4: Que Sera Sera Part III

Part III  

Steve knows the lunch didn’t go well. It’s been several weeks, and Bucky still won’t talk about it. What plagues Steve the most is when he watches Bucky out in public or when he sees him in interviews, he sees something he hoped that he never would again. He still holds Steve’s hand, he still smiles when Steve tells a joke, but it doesn’t reach his eyes anymore. They went to a charity ball a week after the lunch and Bucky walked around looking more like the Winter Soldier, than he looked like the man he’s become.  

Standing against a pole, holding a glass of champaign, Bucky glared around the room, watching, like he was waiting for something to explode. Steve tried to draw him into a conversation, even offered Bucky some of the appetizers, but nothing worked. When they got home, Bucky stripped off his tux and went to bed. Steve sat up half the night, trying to figure out how to help his heart and soul. Nothing seems to be working and Steve’s unsure about what it all means.  

Now, weeks later, Steve still sees the cloud behind Bucky’s eyes. The wedding is in two weeks and Steve’s not feeling very secure. Making a decision, that he doesn’t like, Steve gets up one morning, while Bucky’s in the shower, and starts packing a bag. That’s where Bucky finds him, stopping in his tracks at what Steve’s doing. “Steve?”  

Turning, Steve doesn’t allow himself to feel the pain that’s building inside him. He’s good at this kind of situation, turning his emotions off when there’s something more important happening. “I’m gonna head back to New York. I’ll take Al with me, so you don’t gotta worry about her.” Bucky starts over, but Steve holds up a hand, stopping him in his tracks. “Listen, I don’t know what happened at that lunch and you haven’t wanted to talk about it, but whatever it was, it changed something. I’m gonna go home.”   

Bucky looks devastated by everything he’s hearing. “Are you callin off the wedding?”  

Throwing a shirt into the bag, Steve turns, hands on his hips. “Well, that’s gonna be up to you. I love you, Buck. I just can’t live with the guy that’s coming home every night. It’s scaring me because...because you don’t act like you, even when you’re around me.”  

Sitting heavily on the end of the bed, Bucky reaches over, petting Alpine, who rolls over to have her belly fluff rubbed. “I’m sorry.”  

Unfortunately, Steve doesn’t know what he’s sorry for. “Sorry that you’ve been acting strange? Sorry that you changed your mind about us? Sorry for what, Bucky?”  

Getting up, Bucky comes over, then looks at the clock. He’s supposed to be walking out the door in about ten minutes. Throwing that thought off, Bucky stands in front of Steve, looking down at the ring on Steve’s finger. “I’m sorry that you think I’d let you go after finally coming home to you.” Looking up, into Steve’s eyes, Bucky realizes his mistake. “I should have talked to you as soon as I got home that day. Instead, I tried to process it alone and that’s not how I want our life to be.”  

Steve sits on the bed, pulling Bucky back down with him. “Tell me what happened.”  

“They threatened me with censures, telling me that I’d never win another election.” Getting up again, Bucky drags his fingers through his hair. “I’ve been pissed off for weeks and now you’re leaving!”  

“I was leaving because I didn’t think you wanted me here anymore!” Bucky spins around, staring at Steve disbelieving.  

“You’re the only thing that I want.” His voice is low now, broken almost. “I ran for congress because I thought I could make a difference, and because the corruption level is ridiculous here.”  

“And you wanted to help.” Bucky nods, then turns back around when tears start trailing down his cheeks. “Tell me what you want me to do. I’m not used to sitting on the sidelines while the man I love is being torn apart by assholes.”  

Bucky can’t help the wet chuckle that comes out. “I’ve been so afraid to ask you for anything because you retired for a damn good reason.”  

“Well, Captain America retired. Steve Rogers still feels like being a shit.” Bucky barks out a laugh and it’s been weeks since Steve enjoyed the sound. “Tell me what to do.”  

“First, unpack that bag because you’re not leaving.” Steve face softens, tossing the bag to the chair in the corner. “Second, I think it’s time you come visit me at the office. Maybe have lunch with me and my staff. I’ve been holding off because of that lunch, now, I don’t give a damn what anyone says.”  

“Not only will I come to see you, I’ll bring something homemade for you and your staff. It’s about time I meet them.” Bucky slides into Steve’s personal space, pressing himself into Steve’s body. “Maybe tonight, you’ll wanna come home and...you know...pin me down.”  

It’s been weeks and Steve’s about ready to explode figuratively and literally. “Sweetheart, I am so sorry that I made you think that I didn’t want you here. Later, I’ll be happy to do anything you want.”  

“Can I suck your...” Bucky puts a hand over Steve’s mouth, but hears the question even though it’s muffled.  

“No, you can’t suck me under my desk.” Shaking his head, Bucky blows out a deep breath. “Jesus, now that’s all I’m gonna think about today.”  

“Good.” Steve winks at Bucky, then smirks. “Serves you right for treating me in such a questionable way.” Kissing his fiancé, Steve pushes him towards the closet. “Now, get dressed and go to work. I have food to fix, so I can come see you later.”  

“I feel like taking the day off, now that you called me on my bullshit.” Steve heads to the door, with Alpine on his heels.  

“Nope, you’re going to work because I wanna come see you later and whisper in your ear what I want from you later.”  

For the first time in weeks, Bucky heads to work with a smile on his face. No matter what the conservative right believes or wants, Bucky’s going to live his life with Steve, and no one can take that away. He’s proud of where they came from and who they’ve both grown into. He just needs to remember that when the sanctimonious pricks, male and female, think they have a right to volunteer unsolicited advice, Bucky has the right to tell them to fuck off.  

 

Steve’s stopped by the Capital Police and thinks that he’s going to have a hard time getting in. Instead, they all want pictures with him and walk him through the process of getting his ID for visiting his fiancé. By the time he makes it to Bucky’s office, the police officer, Jason, shakes his hand. “It was really nice to meet you, Steve.”  

Smiling genuinely, Steve looks around where he’s standing. Bucky, his Bucky, is a United States Congressman. “Thank you for your help, Jason.”  

Opening the door, Steve steps into Bucky’s office. Inside there’s a desk, obviously used, but vacant at the moment, and three other doors. It’s bigger than Steve thought it would be, but probably not as big as some of the senior congresspeople. One of the doors opens and a young man heads to the desk. Looking up, he freezes. “Uh...Captain Rogers?”  

“Just call me Steve for now. In a few weeks you can call me Mr. Barnes.” The man seems flustered and confused.  

“Yeah, yeah, sure thing.” They just stand, staring at each other for a few more seconds.  

“Is Congressman Barnes here?” The man closed his eyes, embarrassed by his lack of finesse.  

Taking a deep breath, he turns to one of the doors. “Yes, he is.” Knocking, the man sticks his head in. “Congressman, Cap...Mr...your fiancé is here.”  

Steve sniggers and hears Bucky do the same. Coming into the outer office, Bucky walks right over, sees the two baskets that Steve’s holding, grins, then leans in to kiss Steve. “You made it.”  

Looking at Bucky, wearing his suit, hair slicked back, it hits Steve again. “Holy shit, you are a congressman.” Bucky snorts, kissing Steve again. “I mean, I knew that, but it’s real now that I see it.”  

Taking one of the baskets, Bucky pulls Steve towards one of the other doors. “Yes, I did win the election.” The last door opens, and a group comes out. There are four people watching as Bucky opens the door to the conference room. “Steve brought lunch for everyone, so get in here. We can work and eat at the same time.”  

They all follow like little ducklings. Steve’s surprised by how young all of them are. Sitting the baskets on the table, Bucky opens the one he’s carrying. The young man that seemed to be starstruck by Steve’s entrance, whispers over to one of the women. “I didn’t know that Captain America could cook.”  

Steve snorts, turning to the man. “I don’t know if Captain America can cook, but Steve Rogers has gotten pretty good at it.”  

Bucky unloads containers, grinning. “Don’t let him fool you. The man can cook anything.” Leaning in, Steve kisses Bucky, causing an ‘awww’ from the office staff. Pointing with his elbow, Bucky indicates the staff. “Steve, that’s Matt, Donnie, Ellie and Riley. They make sure that I’m prepared for meetings and that I get to them on time.”  

“It’s nice to meet all of you.” Once the food is on the table, Bucky pulls Steve to sit in the chair next to him, while the others gather around the table. “Did all of you get your invitations to the wedding?”  

As they shove food into their mouths, they all nod. “It was really nice of you to invite us.”  

Bucky’s feet, under the table, catch one of Steve’s, holding it steady. “I think I want to send some invitations to the Capital Police. They were really nice downstairs.”  

 

Later that night, Steve’s spread eagle on the bed, smiling up at the ceiling. When Bucky comes back into the room, Steve throws his head over, staring at his very beautiful, very naked fiancé. “What’s got that silly smile on your face, Sweetheart?”  

Steve chuckle is low, seductive even. “Just enjoying the afterglow.” Bucky chuckles too, wishing he hadn’t kept his thoughts and feelings to himself. “I missed you.”  

Rolling onto his stomach, Steve folds his hands under his chin, giving Bucky a serious look. Sitting on the end of the bed, running his hand down Steve’s back, Bucky feels himself shiver at a sensation that only Steve brings out in him. “I missed you too.” Steve closes his eyes, listening to Bucky. “I guess I was struggling to figure out if I deserved you.”  

Steve’s eyes fly open, furrowing his brow. “Bucky, those people don’t know you or me. They judge everything by what they think is right and wrong and, honestly, they don’t have a clue.”  

“Yeah, I know.” Crawling onto the bed, Bucky lays down, half on top of Steve, kissing his shoulder. “I let them get into my head.”  

Steve would like to make an off-color comment about Bucky’s other head, but doesn’t because they need to talk about this. “You deserve the position you were elected to, and you deserve to be happy. What I saw over the last couple of weeks was more Winter Soldier, than Bucky Barnes.”  

Nodding, Bucky huffs a deep breath. “Yeah, that’s how I was feeling. Trying to put my emotions on the backburner instead of talking about it. I’m sorry about that, Steve.”  

“Don’t be sorry. Just promise me that you’ll talk to me the next time.” Leaning up, Bucky kisses Steve and quirks a smile.  

“Well, if that’s what you want, then I should tell you that after you left today, I got a few calls. Everyone was talking about Captain America being in my office. Seems you created quite the stir today.” Steve huffs in frustration and Bucky knows what’s about to come out of his mouth.  

“I’m NOT Captain America!” Bucky chuckles, kissing Steve again to calm him down. “I’m getting really tired of people not seeing Sam the way they should. He’s the best man for the job.”  

“I agree and now that Joaquin is back up and training, they’re gonna be a force to be reckoned with.” Steve grins over at Bucky, just enjoying that they’re back where they should be. Three weeks of wondering if pulling Steve into this new world he finds himself in. Steve is staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. “What’s goin through your head?”  

“Just that I’ll be glad when this wedding is done.” Looking over quickly, Steve amends his statement. “Not because it’s too much but because I’m tired of being Steve Rogers. Maybe when I’m Steve Barnes, people will stop wanting to put the shield in my hand.”  

“Steven Grant Barnes.” Bucky smirks down at Steve. “That’s got a nice ring to it. Makes me feel all kinds of things.”  

Matching Bucky smirk for smirk, Steve reaches down, taking Bucky in hand. “Makes me feel all kinds of things too.”  

 

Chapter 5: Que Sera Sera Part IV

Part IV  

Steve stands in front of the mirror, hoping that the day goes off just the way they planned. Clint watches him, analyzing the situation like he’s always done. “How are you feeling, Steve?”  

Turning, Steve takes a deep breath. “Good, I’m feeling good. Thanks for being here, Clint.”  

Standing, the former Avenger comes over, swiping across Steve’s shoulders. “There’s not much that would pull me from the farm, but this is worth it. Shoulda known in Germany what was really goin on.” So much has happened, since the fight at the airport.  

Guilt rears its ugly head. “Listen, about that...”  

“Nope, not listening. What happened, happened and it’s over now. We got what we needed. And to be honest, you needed this.” Steve shakes his head, still wanting to apologize. “I got my family back and you got something you’d been missing for too long. Whatever road we travel is the one that we’re meant to be on. So, we’re gonna go out there, you’re gonna say ‘I do’ and grab on to this new life with both hands. And don’t let anyone tell you that you ever have to let go.”  

Tears sting his eyes, as Steve thinks about things and people they’ve lost. Having Clint here means the world to Steve because only someone like Clint can understand. “Thanks.”  

 

“How do you even know how to tie a bow tie?” Bucky rolls his eyes, looking in the mirror at Sam.  

“You know, you always act like I grew up in a barn.” Sam sniggers in the chair by the window. “I don’t know why I chose you.”  

Sam gets up, coming over and putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Giving each other a hard time is just their way, but today, today is important. “You chose me because I’ve seen you at your worst and now, I get to see you at your best. You pulled yourself out of a nightmare and into a life that you deserve.”  

Bucky turns; eyes sparkling. “I’m gonna start thinking you actually like me if you keep this up.”  

“I just hope you got those speech writers to do something good. Would hate to see what you might say without them.” Sam heads to the door, grinning.  

“Screw you, Sam.” They laugh all the way into the room where the ceremony is being held. Bucky feels the typical nerves that anyone would on their wedding day.  

Looking around, taking in all the guests, he feels new anxieties. He would have been very happy just going to the courthouse, but he’s going to give Steve, and himself, this because they deserve it. It doesn’t change that all eyes are on him and that always makes his latent Winter Soldier edgy. Leaning in, Sam whispers, “It’s just about you and Steve. Whatever is goin through your head, stop it now.”  

Blowing out a breath, Bucky looks over nodding to Sam, then to the Justice that’s officiating. Giving a nod to the orchestra, the Justice leans in. “On with the show.” Bucky grins.  

 

Steve comes in, walking with Clint through the chairs, staring at Bucky. He knows that people are watching him, but he only has eyes for the man waiting, under the arch, wearing a deep, blue tux. As they join hands, Steve doesn’t even hear most of what the Justice says. So, when the Justice calls Steve’s name a second time, giving him the go ahead for vows, Steve doesn’t even remember saying ‘I do’ when asked.  

The first words out of his mouth, make everyone chuckle. “You’re so beautiful.” Bucky blushes, looking down at their joined hands. “When I was a boy, so long ago, I was what many called respectful and determined.” Bucky nods. “What my best friend saw, he called cantankerous.” Bucky snorts with laughter. “I didn’t really change, even when we went off to war, even when we woke up in a future that neither of us could understand.” Steve raises their hands, kissing Bucky’s. “Buck, you’ve always been right next to me, even when I thought you were gone. I always felt you with me. Telling you that I love you for the first time, I hoped, but wasn’t expecting. Now, we have this new life, a life that I wouldn’t trade for all the riches and fame. I will be your home; the place that makes you feel safe. I will be next to you, never letting you take on anything alone. I love you. More than those words convey. I will love you through whatever this life brings because you’ve always made me feel safe when I’m with you.”  

“Very nice, Steve.” The Justice winks, then turns to Bucky. “Congressman, you’re up.”  

“Steve, you take my breath away, just standing there. Now, I think you’ve taken my words too.” Steve chuckles, then gives a sniffle. “You never wanted to be in the limelight, always pulling into the shadows. Having you in the background while I ran for office, it never felt right. I wanted to pull you along with me.” Steve nods, knowing that’s how Bucky felt. “You wanted to protect me. Now, it’s my turn to protect you and our life.” He feels a squeeze to his hands and knows that Steve understands. “Today, I want you to know what everything has meant to me. When we were boys, everyone thought that I was being nice to you, being your friend. They didn’t understand that being near you, gave me something that I didn’t talk about for many, many years. I’ve loved you since I was ten, Steve.” Surprise and shock show on Steve’s face. They never talked about this, so Steve’s hearing it along with everyone else. “I looked at you with a devotion that my sister could see. I never wanted anyone but you. I will be your home because you’ve been mine for so long. I’ll keep you safe because you supported me when no one else did. I’ll love you long after I’m gone because loving you is what gives me strength, what gives me hope, what gives me the air that I breathe. I love you, Steve. Always have, always will.”  

They exchange rings, then kiss each other to seal the bond they’ve always had. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to present to you, Congressman and Mr. Barnes.” The Justice leans in, grinning at the two men. “Why don’t you go ahead and kiss again? I think you both deserve it.”  

Tears streaming down their faces and laughing through them, they do kiss again. “I love you, Buck.”  

“I love you too, Steve.”  

“The Congressman and his husband would like to invite everyone to the sculpture garden for the reception.” Sam grins over at Clint, who pats Steve on the back.  

 

As they dance among the artwork, Steve rests his forehead against Bucky’s. They don’t care about anyone else, moving slowly in the safety of the other’s arms. “When we get home, I think I might fall asleep.”  

Steve grins, tilting his head down, kissing Bucky for the thousandth time, since the ceremony. “I won’t hold that against you.”  

“Steve?” Lifting his head away, Steve stares into eyes that were his dream as a boy, even though Bucky didn’t know, and now they’re his reality.  

“Yeah, Baby?” Bucky’s eyes go soft, helpless against Steve’s gentle voice.  

“When this session is over, I’m taking you someplace special. Just the two of us.” That gets a nod of agreement. “You’re not even gonna ask where?”  

“Are you gonna be there?” Bucky gives a quiet ‘yeah.’ “Then I don’t need to know. If you’re there, then it’s okay.”  

“You’re a lot more agreeable than you were when you were little.” Steve barks with laughter.  

Out of the corner of his eye, Bucky can see people watching them, taking pictures of them, and probably trying to hear what they’re saying. Steve doesn’t seem to care, so Bucky brushes the anxiety off. “Well, back then I dreamed about this kinda thing. Now that I’ve got you,” he taps the ring on Bucky’s hand, “don’t gotta fight you anymore. You’re mine, Barnes.”  

“I’ve always been yours, Steve.”  

 

Chapter 6: One More Time

Summary:

This is a multi-chapter story. Beware the first chapter of this because it's sad and it gets worse before it gets better.

One More Time  

 

“You don’t get it, man!” Steve looks at Sam confused. Partly because what he’s saying doesn’t make sense, and second, because he’s here, standing on Steve’s front porch, in 1949.  

“Then slow down and explain it.” Sam looks flustered, annoyed, angry even. He showed up and started babbling something about coming home. Pulling Sam inside and closing the door behind him, Steve had gotten Sam to the chair by the front window.   

Taking a deep breath, Sam glares over at Steve. It’s a look that he’s never had before, not with Steve anyway. “Barnes went out on a mission, and he was hurt.” There’s a flash of something like pain that crosses Steve’s face.  

“Sam, Bucky has the serum, he’ll be okay.” If Steve didn’t know his friend any better, he’d swear that Sam wants to throttle him.  

“Not this time.” Hanging his head, Sam shakes it, tears welling in his eyes. “He lost a leg and was nearly cut in half.”  

Standing, Steve wavers, then reaches out to lean on a shelf. “Wha...how...”  

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Steve. He’s not comin back from this. He’s dying, if he’s not already.” They stand in silence for a few seconds, then Steve takes off across the street.  

Sam has no idea what the man is doing. The trip and the knowledge are too much, it finally catches up with him and Sam sits in back in the chair. He watches, through the window, as Steve bangs on the door across the way and a woman answers. She’s attractive, just like the pictures that Sam’s seen. It’s Peggy Carter and that’s when Sam looks around and realizes that she doesn’t live here. There are pictures around, but none of them speak of a romantic relationship between Steve and her.  

Steve comes running back across the street, tears cascading down his face. “I’m assuming you have a way for me to get back?” Sam nods. “Okay, let’s go.”  

 

When Steve steps through the door, the lights are dim, and the shades are down on the windows. He listens for a minute to the beeping of the machines. Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath and walks to the bed. Bruce stands next to it, checking the readings. Sam must have told them what he was doing because no one seemed surprised to see him.  

It’s been nearly three years since Thanos. The new Compound is almost done and there’s many more Avengers than before. “Bruce.”  

Bruce doesn’t smile, he just looks at Steve. There’s something in his eyes, something almost accusing. “Steve.” Before he can ask, Bruce volunteers what he knows. “I’ve kept him as stable as possible. He’s been through multiple surgeries. We’ve had to give him more blood because he almost bled out. He coded on the table twice.” Bruce looks back at the monitors. “He said that he wasn’t going to let go until he could talk to you. That’s why Sam came for you.”  

“How did this happen?” Steve looks down at Bucky. He’s washed out and his breathing sounds like he’s struggling.   

Bruce gives a mirthless chuckle. “Does it matter?” Steve looks up, shaking his head. “He’s become important to the team, more than he understood. This is going to be a blow to everyone, especially Sam.”  

Walking out, Bruce doesn’t look back. They blame him; Steve knows they do, but he doesn’t know why. Sitting in the chair next to the bed, he reaches out, taking Bucky’s hand. “Hey, Buck.”  

It takes several seconds before Bucky’s eyes flutter. Looking over, he tries to smile. “Steve?”  

Talking seems difficult, so Steve gets up, sitting on the edge of the bed. Reaching over, he brushes Bucky’s hair away from his forehead. “You’re gonna be fine. You just have to fight. You gotta keep fighting, Buck.”  

“Don’t have much fight left.” Steve takes a shaky breath, fighting not to cry. “Need you to listen.” Steve starts to shake his head. He can’t listen to a goodbye from this man. “Yeah, you gotta.”  

“Whatever you wanna say, you can say when you’re better.” Leaning over, Steve caresses Bucky’s cheek.   

He isn’t expecting the voice from the door. “Stop puttin your own wants on him, Steve. He knows what’s happening. Don’t be selfish again .” There’s the accusation that he’s felt from everyone. Turning, Sam’s standing in the door, but comes to the bed. He stands opposite of Steve, glaring at the man. When he turns to Bucky, his face softens. “Now’s your chance, Bucky. Tell him so you can rest.”  

Tears fill Bucky’s eyes, tracking down his temple and into his hairline. Nodding, he looks back at Steve. “You left me.” A sob comes out of his throat and a matching one struggles out of Steve. “I love you and you left me.”  

“You’ve always been my family, and I love you too, Buck.” Sam shakes his head, drawing Steve’s attention.  

“You don’t get what he’s trying to tell you!” He looks back down at his friend and gets a jerky nod. “He’s in love with you. He’s always been in love with you. You went back to be with her and left him on his own.”  

Steve breaks eye contact with Sam and looks down. “Why didn’t you tell me?”  

Closing his eyes, Bucky gathers all the strength he can. “Cause you didn’t want me like I wanted you.” Then, he opens his eyes and breaks Steve’s heart. “End of the...”  

Closing his eyes, the beeping stops, and a long, piercing hum takes its place. “Bucky?” Standing from the edge of the bed, Steve leans over. “NO...no, no, no, you can’t...you hafta...Bucky...please...please...” His hands move over Bucky’s body, shifting the wires, but there’s nothing.   

Steve slips to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably as Bruce comes back into the room and turns the machines off. The high hum stops; the only sound is Steve.  

Chapter 7: The Dance

The Dance  

Sam isn’t expecting the call.  

The woman on the other end isn’t making sense. “Captain Wilson, I didn’t know who else to call.”  

Sam sits up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, then dragging a hand down his face. “Slow down and tell me what’s happening.”  

“I think it would just be best if you come down here, sir. The doctor would explain it better.” She rattles off an address and hangs up.  

Taking a deep breath, Sam sends a quick text to Joaquin and gets up, throwing on some clothes. The drive into the city is calming because it’s three in the morning. At the hospital, Sam has to stop and look at the sign. The address is Mount Sinai Morningside, making Sam anxious. Parking the car, he gets out, looking at the sign above the door. It’s the best mental hospital in the city, but still, it’s a mental hospital.  

Inside, the woman at the desk, doesn’t smile, doesn’t offer a hand, just gets on the phone, making a call. Hanging up, she looks at Sam. “Dr. MacAfee will be out in a moment, Captain.”  

The front door opens, and Joaquin comes in, looking like he just left a club with his hair sticking up all over his head and rumpled clothes. “Sam, what’s...” Sam shakes his head, telling his friend that he doesn’t have an answer yet.  

Another door opens and a tall, elegant woman comes out. “Captain Wilson, I’m Terrel MacAfee. Please come with me.” With no other choice, Sam and Joaquin follow her through a set of locked doors.  

They walk in silence until they reach an office, where she indicates for them to sit. “What’s going on, Doctor?”  

She sits at her desk, clasping her hands together. “Yesterday we admitted Steve Rogers. We got the call from Brooklyn Methodist after he walked in asking to see his mother. They said that he was nearly hysterical.” Sam sits back in his chair, realizing that he hasn’t seen Steve in a few weeks. After Bucky’s funeral, Steve had gone to his apartment in the city. A mission came up and by the time Sam got back, and rested, he just figured that Steve was dealing with his emotional trauma.  

Joaquin reaches over, putting a hand on Sam’s arm, drawing him back to the here and now. “What can you tell us?”  

“Since Captain Rogers doesn’t have any family, I decided to have the duty nurse call you.” Sam nods, so she keeps going. “Captain Wilson, Sam, Steve is showing signs of intense disassociation. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s a classic Schizophrenic. They said that they had him for a few days and in that time, all he did was sob for someone named Bucky. They didn’t know what else to do and called us because of who he is. It being former Captain America, they didn’t release any information about the admission or transfer.” Sam will have to make sure that holds because Steve doesn’t need this getting out.  

Sam sits forward, thinking through everything she said. “Schizophrenia is not possible with the serum, Doctor.”  

“I’m aware, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s showing the same symptoms.” She hands over a file, letting Sam read what they found. She turns her monitor to show Sam what she’s talking about.  

On the screen, Sam and Joaquin see Steve, walking around his hospital room, stopping here and there to add drawings to the walls. Each one is Bucky at different times during his life. Then he’ll turn, smiling at something on the bed, then starts talking like there is someone in the room with him. “Who is he talking to?”  

Joaquin doesn’t know Steve Rogers and what he’s seeing is disturbing. “There’s no one in the room with him. He refers to the hallucination as Bucky, so I assume he seeing his best friend. Once we were able to get him calm, the crying stopped and he began talking to someone only he can see.”  

Sam closes the file. “I’d like to see him.”  

With a nod, they stand. “To know how to help him, I need to see how he reacts to you. None of the medications we’ve tried have helped.” That’s not surprising considering how the serum responds to medications.  

Once they’re at Steve’s room, Sam looks at the door, wondering what he’s getting himself into. He doesn’t regret helping Bucky say his goodbye, but if it caused this, Sam’s going to carry some guilt. Dr. MacAfee slips her card into the reader and the door clicks open. “You know this won’t hold him if he decides to break out.”  

She nods. “We’re aware, but it’s the best we have.”  

Pulling the door open, Sam steps inside, closing it behind him. “Steve?”  

Looking over, Steve smiles, then it fades. “I...I...I can’t.” Something in his eyes flashes with anger, then turns to despair. Slipping to the floor, Steve reaches out to the bed, like imaginary Bucky’s going to come and help him. “No, no, no...you can’t...go away!” This reaction tells Sam that there’s a part of Steve still in there that knows.  

On the floor, Steve covers his head with his arms and starts to rock back and forth. Within a few feet, Sam kneels, talking in a soothing voice. “Steve, can you tell me what’s happening?”  

“Bucky...Bucky...please...Bucky...” Falling sideways to the floor, Steve stays curled into a fetal position, rocking and crying.  

“Bucky’s gone, Steve. Let me help you.” Reaching out, Sam puts a hand on a broken man. This isn’t any version of Steve Rogers that he’s ever seen. Looking back at the door, Dr. MacAfee steps in.  

“I can give him a sedative, but they only work for about 30 minutes, then the serum burns through them.” Standing, Sam pulls out his phone to call Bruce. Of everyone he knows, Bruce has the best understanding of the serum.  

Bruce shows up later that morning, bringing with him a sedative that will work on Steve. He goes through the files with Dr. MacAfee and watches the video. “His mind has fractured.”  

“Yes, that’s what I believe has happened. There’s a break from reality and he seems fine as long as no one contradicts his belief that his friend is still alive.” Bruce bobs his head, looking at what happened with Sam. “You’ll see when faced with Captain Wilson, some part of reality tried to break through.”  

“What can we do for him?” Bruce turns to Sam and Joaquin, giving a shrug. The young man, that’s taken on the mantel of Falcon, looks lost in all of this.  

“I think what we can do for him is help him work through the grief. I know why we did it, but I don’t think bringing him here for Bucky to say goodbye was the right thing.” Shaking his head, Bruce sighs. “Hindsight is 20/20. What was good for Bucky,” Bruce’s voice breaks on the name, “wasn’t good for Steve.”  

Joaquin sits in one of the chairs, shaking his head at what he’s hearing. “I don’t understand what’s going on.” He looks up at Sam. “How does that,” he indicates the screen, “happen to the former Captain America?”  

Clasping his hands together, the young man is trying to hide the shaking. Dr. MacAfee goes over, sitting down. “Serum or not, Steve Rogers is only human. When he lost his friend, his mind fractured and reality and hallucinations became mixed up. Sometimes, he thinks it’s before the war, before he was Captain America. Other times he seems to be in the present, but his friend is always alive. The grief, depression, and guilt over that were too much for his mind to handle.”  

“I think there’s more going on than just losing his friend.” Bruce looks over at Sam, who seems to be analyzing everything he’s finding out.  

“What do you mean?” Sam looks over at Bruce, pulling his lips into a thin line. Bruce sees the conclusion that Sam’s come to. “Do you really think that’s what this is?”  

“I do.” Dr. MacAfee is watching the two men, unclear what they’ve figured out. When Sam turns to her, she waits for an explanation. “I don’t think that Steve thought of Bucky as just a friend.”  

“He was in love with him?” Sam nods. “I think we should sedate him, since he doesn’t rest much. Let his body get the rest that it needs, and you should fill me in on what you know.”  

 

Once she has all the details, after swearing that she’ll never tell anyone what they share, and Steve has rested on the sedative for several hours, Dr. MacAfee goes into his room, sitting and watching him. “Steve, can you tell me who’s here with us?”  

Steve looks over to the bed, giving it a soft, adoring smile. “That’s Bucky.”  

Sam watches with Bruce, on the monitor, from outside the room. Steve doesn’t sound like himself. There’s something almost childlike in his voice. It’s more concerning than what he’s saying. It isn’t until the doctor asks the next question that they understand why. “Steve, how old are you?”  

He blushes furiously, looking down at the floor, then cuts his eyes to the bed. “I turned fifteen last week.” Then he looks frightened. “Please don’t tell anyone. If they find out about me and Buck, he could get hurt.” She notices that he doesn’t seem to care about getting hurt himself, just as long as Bucky doesn’t. His guilt is feeding this hallucination, and she needs to comfort him.  

Raising a hand, Dr. MacAfee, shakes her head. “I won’t tell anyone. I’ll protect your secret.”  

Steve blows out a breath, relaxing a little. “See there, Buck. I told’ya she was okay.”  

“How old is Bucky, Steve?” There’s a low chuckle.  

“He’s sixteen. Likes’ta use his age against me sometimes.” They keep talking and Sam just watches. Bruce shakes his head, walking away from the monitor.  

“Sam, what’s happening here isn’t good. If Steve’s mind has truly fractured, there might not be any coming back from that.” Sam spins, looking at Bruce. “He’s created a world that he wants to live in. If he accepts it, completely, he’s going to be hospitalized for the rest of his life. And seeing that look on his face. He wants to be in that world he’s created.”  

“What do you suggest?” What Bruce then suggests, Sam thinks is more insane than Steve’s behavior.  

 

Chapter 8: Rocky Mountain High

Rocky Mountain High  

“Sam, are you sure about this?” Turning to face his newest friend, Sam shakes his head.  

Joaquin watches his mentor, wondering what the man is thinking, to try something like this. “I don’t think we have a choice.”  

“There’s always a choice, man!” Putting his hands on his hips, Joaquin walks across the command center. “You’re talking about changing the timeline. You don’t know what that might do!”  

Looking up at the ceiling, Sam has to trust what Bruce told him is the truth and not just a hypothesis. “According to Bruce, changing something in the past doesn’t change the future or present...or whatever. It may work, it may not, but we’ve got to try something! Steve is slipping day by day and nothing seems to be helping. There’s aren’t medications that we can use, so I’ve gotta try to fix this.” As he talks, his voice gets more and more quiet. “I’ve gotta try. He saved us all, he brought us back.”  

“Yeah, then he ran away! Left everyone behind, including Bucky!” It almost sounds like Joaquin is saying that Steve deserves what he got. Sam knows that’s not true, but it does make him pause.  

“Look, I know how many people he hurt when he left us. When he left Bucky. But no one deserves to get lost in their own mind.” The last time Sam went to see Steve, he watched as his old friend sat by the wall, letting the sun wash over him with light and warmth, but all he would do is sit, rock and hum. He doesn’t even draw anymore, just sits, staring off, wrapped up in some world he’s built in his head. “I have to try.”  

“You shouldn’t go alone.” Sam knows what Joaquin is offering.  

Shaking his head, Sam knows it has to be this way. “We can’t send more than me. I know exactly when and where to be to stop this.”  

Nodding, Joaquin sighs. “Yeah, okay. Just come back, yeah? I’m sure you haven’t taught me everything I need to know.”  

With a pat to the shoulder and a grin, Sam leaves him and heads to Bruce’s lab. They don’t talk, just work in silent tandem. Once Sam is in his uniform, he taps the chest plate of his suit. He’s covered almost immediately by a quantum suit and helmet. “You get in, get him and get out.” Not even Bruce is convinced this is going to work, but it’s the only option they have to bring Steve back.  

Nodding, Sam takes the case from Bruce. “I hope this works.” Stepping up on the platform, Bruce starts the countdown.  

Slipping into the Quantum Realm, Sam navigates to where he needs to be, landing behind a boulder at the edge of the battle. He watches himself, circling and firing on the enemy agents and the mutants that are trying to kill the Avengers. Stepping from behind the boulder, Sam stays under the cover of the trees because Bucky’s going to be coming through any second.  

When he sees his old friend, running for the battle, Sam knows two things: one, he’s doing the right thing, and two, they would have won this battle without Bucky, so he’s not getting anyone else killed. As Bucky tries to pass by, Sam reaches around, putting him in a headlock and dragging him behind a tree. “I need you to listen to me.”  

Bucky turns, eyes wide, looking back at the battle, then into Sam’s face. “Sam? What the hell?”  

“If you go out there, you’ll die. I’ll do something stupid and use this suit to go and get Steve. He’ll lose you and then himself. I can’t explain any more than that, but if you don’t come with me, Steve won’t survive.” That calculated look crosses Bucky’s face, not trusting this.  

“How do I know it’s really you and this isn’t a trick?” Sam lowers his head, then looks up with tears.  

“Because I know that you are in love with Steve and after you get wounded, you ask me to give you closure. I know how much pain you’re in because he left you.” There’s a yell, Bucky spins back to the fight.  

“What about them?” Sam puts a hand on his shoulder.  

“They’ll still win this fight, but you won’t have to die.” Sam doesn’t know what else to say, except, “You have to trust me. I wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t a last resort.”  

For Bucky it’s a choice between this fight and Steve. It’s not a choice at all. “What’s happened to Steve?”  

“He’s in a mental hospital.” Spinning back to face Sam, Bucky tears up. “He’s lost himself to the guilt. He’s become nonverbal.”  

“Let’s go.”  

 

When Sam walks into the hospital, having called Dr. MacAfee, she’s stunned at the man next to him. “I thought he was...”  

“It’s a long story that I can’t explain.” She looks at Bucky, then to Sam. Seeing the seriousness on his face, she nods.  

“I think we should talk before I let you go see Steve.” She directs her comment to Bucky, who nods and follows her to her office.  

After they’re seated, she hands Bucky a file and turns her computer monitor, so he can see the video. “I don’t understand how any of this is happening with the serum.” Bucky keeps thumbing from page to page, reading everything from the time Steve went to the hospital in Brooklyn to now.  

His eyes lock on the screen, watching Steve move around his room. The time stamp at the bottom is a week after Sam told him that Steve was brought here. The man in the video doesn’t even look like his Steve. The doctor fast-forwards the video to the day before. Steve’s sitting in his room, leaning against a wall, rocking and sobbing. “What I can tell you is sometime after your...you know...funeral and what you’re seeing, Steve Rogers’s mind fractured. He couldn’t reconcile...your death...and reality.”  

“Can he come out of this? Is me being here even going to help?” Bucky’s not giving up on Steve, but it’s an honest question about the possibility.  

“It will take time for him to realize that you’re real and not the hallucination that he’s been talking to.” Bucky whips his head to Sam.  

“Listen man, he’s locked into a world where you’re still alive and he sees you. Like, he really thinks that you’re in the room with him.” Sitting the file on the desk, Bucky covers his face with his hands.  

“Mr. Barnes, I don’t pretend to know or understand the bond that you two have, but Steve doesn’t want to leave what he’s created in his mind.” Standing, Bucky walks away from the desk, looking at a picture on the wall, without really seeing it.  

“Tell me everything you can.”  

Dr. MacAfee starts telling Bucky about Steve going into the Brooklyn hospital and asking for his mother. The doctor there trying to help, but being out of his depth. She explains that once he was brought here, he started talking to a hallucination of Bucky. Sometimes he’s in the present time and sometimes he seems to slip into a teenager. She imparts that in the last couple of weeks, he’s stop talking and just stares and hums. “I’ve given him outside privileges because he doesn’t try to run, doesn’t seem to care to run. He just sits outside, watching the water and the ducks. I thought he might start drawing, which he did do yesterday, but mostly he just sits and hums the same song over and over.”  

“You need to take me to him.” Sam can see that Bucky’s just barely hanging onto his emotions. Nodding to the doctor, she gets up, leading them outside.  

They stand off, on a small hill, watching Steve. He’s sitting on a bench, sketch pad and charcoal in hand, staring off. “I don’t know how he’s going to react to you.”  

“Let me worry about that.” Bucky heads down the hill, hoping that he can bring Steve out of whatever this is. He also makes a promise that if he can’t, he’ll take care of Steve for the rest of his life. Giving him safety to live in whatever world he’s created. When he gets to the bench, he looks at the journal and sees his own face staring back. Shaking his head, he goes to kneel in front of Steve. The song that he’s humming is one that Bucky remembers from when he was a teenager. “Steve?”  

Steve looks up, giving the saddest smile that Bucky’s ever seen anyone wear. His eyes are tired and watery, averting away from Bucky. Steve begins to rock, slowly, back and forth. Looking over at the doctor, she nods, telling Bucky that this is normal. “Listen pal, I know you’re in there. I know you can see me.”  

“no...” It’s so soft, almost not a word.  

“Yeah, I’m right here. Sam’s in a heap of trouble bringing me here, but I’m right here.” Taking the pad and charcoal pencil, Bucky sits them off to the side.  

Steve’s eyes follow the movement, like he doesn’t understand what Bucky’s doing. “I told you to go. I don’t deserve you.”  

Shaking his head, Bucky doesn’t understand what he means. “When did I leave?”  

“Don’t know. Days...weeks...longer...” Then it clicks. Steve sent his hallucination away and he’s been alone inside his head.  

“Well, I’m back now and this time, I’m not leaving.” Reaching out, Bucky takes Steve’s hands. Rubbing them, keeping a firm grip.  

Steve’s eyes widen, looking down at their joined hands. “You never touched me...before.”  

“You mean since you’ve been here?” Steve nods, still staring at their hands. “Do you mind that I’m touching you?” Shaking his head, Steve’s eyes stay locked on their hands. “You’ve got a long way to go, Steve, but I want to stay with you and help. Is that okay?”  

In all the years that he’s known Steve, Bucky has never seen him like this. It’s like he can see, but isn’t seeing. Even running fevers so high that Bucky worried Steve would die, his eyes were never this glassy. “Buck?”  

“Yeah, Stevie?” He keeps his voice gentle, not wanting to cause Steve any stress.  

“I love you. I never got to tell you when you were alive. I wish I had. Now you’re gone and I’m all alone.” Hanging his head, Bucky starts to sob. Steve doesn’t believe this is real.  

“I love you too, Steve. I always did. When you left, to go back to be with her, I couldn’t breathe anymore.” Steve slips from the bench, kneeling in front of Bucky.  

“I didn’t want her.” Bucky looks up, tears streaming down his face. “I just didn’t know what else to do.” Steve leans in, putting his forehead against Bucky’s. “Now, it’s too late. You’re gone and I don’t got anything to live for.”  

Another issue that Bucky isn’t prepared for: Steve wants to die. “Will you stay if I ask you to?” Steve nods, moving Bucky’s head with his with his own. Somehow, Bucky’s got to get Steve to realize that he’s real and not a hallucination. Right now, Steve’s in a delicate place between what’s here and what’s not. “I’ll stay with you, and I won’t disappear again.”  

“Why ain’t ya mad at me, Buck?” Suddenly, they aren’t over a hundred years old. Steve sounds young again. Just like all the times he got into fights as a teenager and Bucky had to clean him up.  

Looking up, Bucky chuckles wetly. “Even when you were runnin into fights you got no business bein in, I wasn’t mad, Steve. I was just scared I’d lose you.”  

Steve starts rocking again, clinching his eyes shut like he’s trying to keep something away. “I know you died. They don’t think that I know. They won’t even notice you in my room.” The whispered words are shared just between them.  

“Do you know where you are, Steve?” Nodding, Steve looks into Bucky’s eyes, smiling like a man in love.  

“They had to put me away. They think I’m crazy. Maybe I am, ‘cause you’re here.”  

 

A second bed is moved into Steve’s room. He doesn’t acknowledge it because he thinks that the staff is just humoring him. Sam tries to talk to him, adding a comment in Bucky’s direction. Steve seems infuriated by that, and Dr. MacAfee suggests that Sam only talk to Steve. She thinks that Steve believes that Sam is also humoring him. When Sam goes to leave, he turns to Bucky, who shakes his head. Giving a sad nod, Sam leaves, hoping that Bucky can do something about all this.  

He doesn’t have high hopes though.  

For a week, Bucky stays in the room with Steve, talking and trying to get a better understanding of Steve’s mental state. He can talk to the doctor, but he’d rather see for himself. Just like Steve, Bucky wears scrub pants and a t-shirt. They only slip shoes on when they go outside.  

The lights dim, meaning it’s the allotted bedtime. Bucky looks at the bathroom door, then at the beds. Maybe he’s been giving Steve too much space. Getting up, he pushes the beds together, straightening out the blankets. When Steve comes back in, he quirks a smile at the beds. “What are ya doin, Bucky?”  

“You might not get cold anymore, but sometimes I do.” Crawling in, Bucky throws the blanket back, inviting Steve in.  

Scooting into the bed, Steve lays down, turning on his side, staring at his friend. “We haven’t done this, since we were kids.” Something crosses his face; a sadness.  

“What was that look for?” Steve tries to turn away; Bucky holds him firm. “Uh uh, punk, tell me what just went through your head.”  

“If you were really here, I’d tell you about all the times I wanted to do this. When we were in the army, after I got you back, I wanted you to sleep in my cot with me.” He blushes in embarrassment having admitted that.  

“Well, if I’d known, I would have pushed those cots together and kept myself warm.” Reaching up, Steve traces Bucky’s forehead.  

“Is it cold where you are?” It’s a gentle musing, not really meant for an answer.  

Bucky closes his eyes. For a week he’s been sharing this space with Steve, wondering if the doctor watches and listens to what they talk about. After talking to Dr. MacAfee the day before, she’s not seeing an improvement in Steve. Calling Sam, just that morning, Bucky had to share that his presence doesn’t seem to be helping. “Steve, I’m right here.”  

Leaning away, Steve gives a sniffle. “You’re not really though, are you, Buck? You’re buried in the ground, and I never wanted you to be alone.”  

Taking a chance, Bucky edges over, touching Steve. “I want to talk to you, Steve. Can you listen for me?” There’s an absentminded nod from Steve. “Look at me.” Steve eyes come up to lock with Bucky’s. “When we were kids, if anyone had told us anything about super soldier serums, metal arms, or alien armies, we would have thought they were crazy.”  

“Buck?” Steve doesn’t seem to know where Bucky’s going with this and that should be a clue to him that Bucky’s really here and not just a figment of Steve’s imagination.  

“Let me finish, please.” Steve nods, still staring into Bucky’s eyes. “And if we’d thought that any of that was possible, there’s no way that we would have believed in the Quantum Realm and different timelines.” Taking a deep breath, Bucky finishes what he’s trying to say. Steve’s confused face tells Bucky that he’s not following. “See, Steve, if I was just a hallucination, you’d know what I was about to say to you, and you’d understand everything I’ve already said. Sam wanted to help, so he used the accelerator to come and get me. He took me out of the battle that killed me and brought me here to help you.”  

Rolling away, Steve gets up, walking across the room, dragging his fingers through his hair. “NO! That’s not...he wouldn’t mess with things like that. You...no, that’s wrong.”  

His voice gets quieter and quieter as he talks, but in the silence of the room, Bucky hears all of it. “Steve, look at me.” Bucky sits up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, waiting.  

Steve finally turns, tears streaming down his face. The next word is ripped from deep inside, deep from the soul of a broken man. “Bucky?”  

Holding out his hand, Steve stumbles over, linking their finger together. “I’m right here, Steve. I know what Sam did was wrong, goes against everything natural.” Steve nods, but keeps clinging to Bucky’s hand. “I don’t care though. I don’t care what it does to the timeline. I want to be here with you, and I want you to get better, so we can live a life together. Hell, Steve, we deserve to finally be happy together.”  

“He’s not gonna make you go back, is he?” Bucky shakes his head. “Are you really here?”  

Without thought of consequences, Steve straddles Bucky’s lap, wrapping himself around the man. “I’m here and I’m stayin.”  

Eventually, Bucky lays back in the bed, Steve still holding on like a baby koala. “Please...don’t ever leave me again.”  

 

Chapter 9: Unforgettable

Unforgettable  

Bucky takes Steve out of the hospital, against the advice of the doctor and Sam. He packs what little they have and drives away from New York State. Steve just sits in the old truck that Bucky acquired, staring at the passing landscape. It isn’t until they’re in Indiana that Steve asks the question that’s been on his mind, since that night in bed with Bucky.  

“Is this real?” Looking over, Bucky seems conflicted by the question. Once he understands that Steve is not sure if he’s made all this up in his head or not, Bucky smiles.  

“Yeah Sweetheart, it’s real.” He reaches over, taking Steve’s hand. “I’m here and we’re gonna find someplace that we can settle in and live a life fit for two old men.”  

Blushing, Steve squeezes Bucky’s hand, just to be sure he’s really there. “Do you think anyone will come looking?”  

“Maybe they will, maybe they won’t, but from now on, we only do what we want to do.” Lifting Steve’s hand, Bucky kisses it, showing the affection that he wanted to show all those decades ago.  

By the time they end up in Colorado, Steve’s talking more. He quietly tells Bucky about the night he died, losing himself to the grief. “It’s not that I didn’t know how I felt about you, before, it was more like...everything got really clear in that moment.”  

“Like you had blinders on, then someone ripped them off.” The way he says it, Steve knows that Bucky had a moment like that in his life too.  

“When Buck?” Bucky pulls the truck over, putting it in park and turning in the seat to face Steve.  

“When you pulled me off that table in that factory.” For some reason, Steve thought it would be earlier in their lives. “Don’t get me wrong, I knew before that I didn’t feel the normal amount of love for you as a friend.” Bucky turns his head, staring out the windshield. “But when you got me out of that factory and I had a chance to really look at you, I realized that how I had always pictured you, in my heart, is what I was seeing. I didn’t have to worry about you anymore,” he gives a shrug, “but I did anyway.” He turns back to Steve, reaching out, caressing his cheek. “That’s when I knew that loving you was just gonna be my life.”  

Unbuckling his seatbelt, Steve pushes into Bucky’s space, wrapping arms around a man, that became a dream, then became real. “Promise me that if this isn’t real, you’ll keep me wherever we are because I don’t wanna let you go.”  

Holding Steve close, Bucky feels his cheeks, wet with tears. “I promise that I’ll never let you go.” When they pull back, Bucky has to ask, has needed to ask. “Why did you leave me, Steve?”  

The silence that fills the truck could stop a herd of buffalo. It stays silent for longer than Bucky’s comfortable with. The silence scares him, making him afraid to hear the answer. Steve’s looking down at his hands, not willing to meet Bucky’s eyes, when he starts talking. “Did you ever look around at your life and feel like you don’t know what you’ve been living for? Like no one needs you, maybe they never did, and it makes you think that if you disappeared, no one would notice?” He finally looks up and Bucky understands, better than he can express.  

“Yeah...” The word drifts away, and Bucky starts to sob along with Steve.  

For a long time, there’s no talking, just sobbing, then Steve takes Bucky’s face in his hands, wiping away the tears. “I don’t want you to cry about anything. Not anymore. I still feel lost in this because I’m afraid I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone again.”  

Nodding, Bucky can relate. “Same.” Steve nods, resting his forehead against Bucky’s. “I feel the same.”  

 

As the days pass, Steve sits next to Bucky in the truck, instead of on the passenger’s side. Bucky knows it’s because Steve needs to feel them together, to reassure his still fragile mind. When they finally stop, it’s a small town, nothing special, except it feels like the kind of place to heal two broken hearts. They get a room at a little hotel, spending a few days looking around.  

It’s finally Steve that says what Bucky’s been afraid to say. “I think we should stay here.”  

Turning, Bucky grins. “I was thinkin the same thing.”  

They find that the lady at the general store is also the realtor in town. She’s more than happy to find them something they can’t put a name to. Eleanor knows who they are, confused by them being here, but still knows. As she’s showing Steve and Bucky different properties for sale, she smirks. “Now, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you two would like something secluded. Somewhere that no one would think to look for you.”  

They look up. “You’d be right.” Bucky looks at Steve to get conformation.  

“Yeah, we need...space.” Eleanor smiles, nodding and bringing up another property.  

“This one is outside of town, has an incredible view of the mountains, and just the right size for two people that need a rest.” After going to see it, Bucky buys it outright.  

 

Bucky wakes, it’s early, but he knows that Steve’s been up for hours. Before the sun was even up, Steve crawled out of bed, heading downstairs. The quaint, little A-Frame that is home, has an upstairs loft where their bed is. After a few minutes, Steve started the coffee maker and when Bucky sat up, just enough to see, he saw Steve carrying his easel out onto the deck. Rolling over, hugging Steve’s pillow close to his chest, Bucky had gone back to sleep.  

Now, the sun is up and when he sits up again, he can see Steve outside, painting the surrounding landscape. Smiling, Bucky looks over at the desk, set up overlooking the living room, and knows that he needs to call Sam today. Getting out of bed, and heading downstairs, Bucky uses the bathroom, then heads into the kitchen, hoping the coffee is still hot.  

Once he has his cup, Bucky is about to turn from the fridge, when Steve comes bursting into the house. “Buck, Buck, Bucky, you gotta come see.”  

Turning, Steve nearly barrels into him, making Bucky grin like a loon. “What’s got you so excited, Sweetheart?”  

Putting the cup down, Steve melts into his arms. They share a lingering kiss, then Steve pulls him towards the door. “She came this morning and had a baby with her. They’re still outside.”  

Not having any idea what Steve’s talking about, hoping that it’s not another sign of the fracture that they’ve been dealing with over the last year, Bucky follows, ready to call the therapist they found. “What? Who?”  

Once outside, Steve points into the trees and finds a mother deer and her fawn, resting in the grass. “She’s been here long enough that I was able to get her on the canvas.”  

Looking at the deer, then to the canvas, Bucky relaxes. “It’s beautiful, Steve.”  

Cuddling back into Bucky’s arms, Steve kisses his cheek. “Just like you.”  

 

Chapter 10: You Made Me Love You

Summary:

Rich guy Bucky meets furniture designer Steve.

You Made Me Love You  

 

“You’re kidding right?” Steve looks over at Clint, wondering how he’s going to possibly get this bed frame up the stairs, even with an elevator. At least he just has to deliver it and doesn’t have to put the damn thing together. Whoever thinks that they need a bed like this must be a rich asshole. Looking down at the address, Steve rolls his eyes.  

“Now look, Steve, this guy paid a lot of money for this bed. You designed this bed. Now, because you are on the roster today, you have to deliver this bed.” Clint’s a great guy to work for, considering that he lets Steve use some of his creative energy to design some of his furniture. Even his girlfriend, Natasha, has asked Steve to do a few designs for her office.   

But this bed is a monster and Steve never expected anyone to see the design and order the damn thing. It took months of work for Clint to get it right. “I hate my life.”  

Clint laughs, patting Steve’s broad shoulders. “No, you don’t. You love everything I let you get away with.” He looks at the back of the truck, shaking his head. “Sam and Thor are going to help you get this to the address.” As he’s walking back into the office, Clint yells over his shoulder, “And no insulting the rich people!”  

“I make no promises!”  

 

Bucky is an idiot. Today, because everyone in his house has been working so hard, he gave the staff the day off. Then, he checked his calendar and realized that the bed will be here today. Giving a heavy sigh, he goes into his closet to see what he has that will allow him to crawl around on the floor. Finding his sweats for working out, he slips into them. When he comes out of the closet, he stares at the old bed, the one that he’s going to give to the second-hand place a few blocks over.   

How did Bucky get himself into this mess?   

Barnes International, the family business, was started by Bucky’s grandfather. With each generation, it grows and flourishes in a way that Bucky’s sure his grandfather could never have fathomed. James Buchanan Barnes is worth billions, with a home overlooking Central Park, five floors and more bedrooms than he could ever use. He’s always at the top of the list for best dressed and last June Bucky’s valet showed him a magazine where he was voted the most eligible bachelor. Bucky had laughed a great deal about that because suddenly he had women chasing him around not knowing that they weren’t what he was looking for.  

Heading downstairs, Bucky gets into the utility closet, off the kitchen, and gets out the tools that he needs. The least he can do for the guys that are delivering the bed, is to have the old one out of the way. It takes nearly an hour, but he finally gets it taken apart and leans the mattress against the window and moves the frame out of the way. “Barnes, this bed better be worth the trouble.”  

Hands on his hips, Bucky looks up at the clock. The furniture people will be here in an hour or so. Bucky hopes that this is all worth it. He wasn’t sure about the new bed, but once he saw the design, he fell in love with the wood and wrought iron. Looking over at the window, he goes to check the mattress and boxspring. They’re practically new, so he’s keeping those.  

 

Steve stands at the front door, knowing that they’re a little early, but with Thor helping and Sam ‘supervising,’ Steve and Thor were able to get it loaded faster. The thing is heavy and Steve figures, with his luck, the master bedroom is probably on the top floor of this monstrosity. Giving a heavy sigh, he looks back at the truck where Sam and Thor are waiting with the back open.  

What Steve isn’t expecting is for James Buchanan Barnes to open the door himself. His sweats are hung low on his hips and the shirt he’s wearing is nearly see through it’s so old. This isn’t the three-piece suit wearing guy from the magazines, this is a guy that Steve could stumble over and keep in his bed for a little while.  

“Mr. Barnes, I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to open the door yourself.” The guy, James Barnes grins, looking Steve up and down.  

“Well, I gave the staff the day off and then remembered I had a bed coming.” He’s chuckling in a self-deprecating way, making Steve like him a little.  

“We’ve got the bed. If you want to show me to the master bedroom, I can take the other one apart before we bring it in.” Mr. Barnes is shaking his head, smiling, which is confusing for Steve because this guy seems likeable, unlike what Steve was expecting.  

“Well, I already did that, so all you have to do is bring the new one in.” Biting the inside of his cheek, Steve’s trying really hard to keep disliking the upper one percent, but this guy is making it hard.  

Bobbing his head, Steve turns to the truck. “We’re gonna bring it up in pieces, then I’ll assemble it in the room.” He heads back down the stairs, looking back. “I had no idea how heavy this thing was gonna be when I designed it.”  

 

Bucky is stunned because the blonde god that rang his bell also designed the bed that Bucky’s going to be sleeping in. Having watched the man walk away, Bucky is sure that he’s going to develop a case of lust. In fact, he’s already there and wants to set the bed up, kick the other movers out, and drag this man into the soft sheet, doing anything and everything his brain is so helpfully supplying.  

As much as he wants to help, Bucky stays out of the way because these guys do this kind of thing all the time. They’re thankful when Bucky tells them that his bedroom is actually on the second floor and not the top floor. “I keep that space for my nieces and nephews to stay over and have a playroom.”  

“How old are they?” The one that introduced himself as Sam, seems to be more vocal than the other two. Bucky would like for the blonde, Steve, to be a little more vocal. Unfortunately, Bucky’s brain quickly supplies the setting for the noises he’d like to hear from Steve.  

Bringing himself back to the present, Bucky stumbles over a few words, before answering. “Oh...uh...Callie is 3, Nick is 7, Angie is 8, Dalton is 4 and Isa is 18 months.”  

“You got a house full when they come to see you, huh?” As Sam talks, Bucky watches Steve putting the bed together and can’t get over how gorgeous that piece of art is. It’s not just a bed, but art. And it’s not just the bed, it’s Steve.  

“Yeah, but they keep me grounded. We have slumber parties all the time, so my sisters can have some down time.” Steve looks over, giving a look that says he’s surprised. “You seem shocked by that, Steve.”  

Sam, ever the friend to give Steve the hardest time, speaks up again. “Oh, you’ll have to excuse Mr. Rogers because he thinks that all rich people are douche bags.”  

Looking over, with wide, glaring eyes, Steve nearly growls out. “I’m sure that Mr. Barnes doesn’t need to hear your voice anymore, Sam.”  

Bucky starts to chuckle. “Oh, I don’t know. I like learning what other people think of me.”  

Thor starts to speak up and Steve seems determined to stop whatever is going to come out of the man’s mouth. “Thor, can you get me that cross piece?”  

It takes almost another hour before the bed is done, and Steve and Sam put the mattress and box spring back on the frame. Bucky looks at the finished product and is in love with this new bed. “I hope it meets with your approval, Mr. Barnes.”  

Steve is looking at him hopefully, wanting him to like the bed. Walking around the bed, Bucky can’t get over how beautiful it is. “Steve, this is wonderful.” Looking over, he sees Steve blush. “I mean it. This is gorgeous.”  

“Thank you. I’m really proud of it.” They start to gather their tools, clearing away the protective wrap that was on some of the pieces.  

“You should be.” Walking them back downstairs, Bucky’s not used to being so affected by a person he’s just met. Steve’s different though. That doesn’t help him get the words out before the men are back in the truck and driving away.  

 

Steve’s sullen on the way back, thinking about a man that’s nothing like he thought. Sam wasn’t lying when he told Mr. Barnes that he thinks all rich people are douche bags, but something about that man isn’t like that. Once back at the shop, Steve goes to his office, pulling out his latest creation.  

Natasha walks in, plopping down in a chair and putting her feet on his desk. “So, how was it?”  

Looking up, Steve knows that Sam probably opened his big mouth. “He was happy with the bed.”  

“That’s not what I heard.” Steve panics for a second because he’s afraid that Mr. Barnes said something to one of the others about not liking the bed. “I heard that he couldn’t keep his eyes off you, and you were having trouble concentrating because he’s so hot.”  

Relaxing his shoulders, Steve wishes he had better friends. “He was nicer than I thought, but that’s it, Natasha.”  

Getting up, she smirks. “Okay, if that’s what you want to go with.” As she gets to the door, Nat turns. “Oh, we all got an invite to the Stark Party next week. Seems Pepper really liked the tables you did and wanted you to see them in place, since you didn’t go on that delivery.”  

Giving a nod, Steve goes back to what he’s been working on. After an hour of not being able to think about anything, except the beautiful man sleeping in one of Steve’s beds, he does a search to find out a little more about James Barnes.  

What he finds is unexpected. Barnes does have money, more money than Steve can conceive of, but he uses it a differently. He didn’t buy the mansion he lives in, it belonged to his grandfather. He did buy both of his sisters' homes near him, and according to the article that Steve’s reading, Barnes did it to keep his family close. There are pictures in the article of Barnes with his sisters’ kids. They way he smiles at them, while they crawl all over him, is endearing. James Barnes is rich, but he doesn’t seem to be a douche bag; giving money to as many charities as he can: the VA, the LGBTQ Youth Center, the children’s hospitals and anything else that he thinks needs a push.  

Steve might have just developed his first crush on a rich guy.  

 

Tony Stark is not like James Barnes. That, Steve figures out quickly. At the fund raiser, Stark challenges anyone to beat his amount for the conservation society. Steve does everything he can to avoid the man. Stark gives money to charities, but he wants as much recognition from it as possible. Steve has no idea how a woman like Pepper Potts ended up married to a man that is the epitome of douche bag.  

Sam hands Steve his drink, then runs off to talk to a woman that keeps giving him the eye. Shaking his head, Steve wishes he hadn’t agreed to come to this party. That is, until he sees James Barnes walk in. On his arm is a little girl, about 8, and Steve’s ready to groan because this has to be his niece, Angie. She’s in the cutest little dress with her hair up in the half ponytail, tied with a ribbon.  

Lowering his head, Steve shakes it. When he looks back up, Barnes is staring at him with a smile. Going to the bar, Steve watches the man get his niece a soda and a glass of champaign for himself, then leads her over towards Steve. “Mr. Rogers, it’s good to see you.”  

Taking the offered hand, Steve doesn’t like the near-whimper that comes out. “Mr. Barnes, it’s good to see you too.” Looking down at the little girl, Steve smiles. “And who is this amazingly beautiful lady with you?”  

Bucky smiles, lighting his face and eyes. “This, Mr. Rogers, is my niece, Angela.” Leaning in, like he’s sharing a secret, he whispers, “I usually call her Angie, but tonight she thinks that Angela sounds more grown up.”  

Chuckling, Steve looks down, offering his hand. Angie takes it allowing Steve to kiss the back, like a gentleman. “Miss Angela, it’s a pleasure.”  

She blushes, looking up at her uncle and getting a nod. “Mr. Rogers, the pleasure is mine.”  

She tries to sound grown up, but Steve’s just charmed by her childlike joy. “Maybe later, when the band plays something appropriate, I could have a dance?”  

She nearly squeals, but holds it in. “I would like that.” Looking up at her uncle, she rolls her eyes. “And you said that no one interesting would be here.”  

“Well, I didn’t know that Mr. Rogers was planning to attend. He is definitely someone that I consider interesting.” Cutting his eyes to Steve, Bucky winks. “I’d really like it if he’d call me Bucky.”  

Angie looks up at Steve, nodding furiously. “You should. If he wants you to call him Bucky, then he likes you.”  

Steve clears his throat and blushes. “I would be honored, if he’ll call me Steve.”  

Angela notices a waiter with a tray of snacks. Promising to stay where she can see them, she runs off to get something to eat. Bucky doesn’t take his eyes from her. “That kid is something else. Not a bit of fear.”  

Steve laughs, low and amused. “She seems like a great kid. What convinced you to bring her tonight?”  

Checking her location again, Bucky glances at Steve. “If I tell you that I brought her, so I could have an excuse to leave early, would you believe me?”  

Throwing his head back, Steve laughs long and hard at that. “Considering who’s throwing this shindig, yeah I would.”  

Bucky chuckles along with him. “If I’d known that you were going to be here, I would have come alone.” Steve turns away, checking on Angie. When he turns back, narrowing his eyes. “Look, Steve, I don’t date because it’s never someone that wants to know me. They all want to get close to someone with money. Yes, I have money, but no, I don’t think I’m better than anyone else.” He checks on his niece again, then continues. “I looked you up after the day you delivered the bed. You’re pretty famous on your own.”  

“I’m not famous. I just do what I love.” Silence hangs around them until Angie comes bouncing back over.  

“Uncle Bucky, when we leave here, can we stop at McDonalds?” Absolutely endeared by this little girl, Steve leans in.  

“If he won’t take you, I will.” Giving her a wink, she giggles.  

“Uncle Bucky, can Steve come with us?” Bucky looks over, seeing that Steve’s going to try to bow out, he quickly answers her.  

“I’ll be really disappointed if he doesn’t.”  

That’s how Steve finds himself sitting in a 24-hour McDonalds on Broadway at close to ten, with the most personable, beautiful man he’s ever seen and that man’s niece, who is a spitfire. By the time the driver drops Steve off at home, Angie is asleep, leaning against Bucky’s chest, Bucky looks sad that Steve’s leaving them, and Steve thinks he might be a little in love with a rich ‘douche bag.’  

 

Walking into the storefront, Bucky looks around at everything that’s handmade and unique. He’s carrying a bouquet of flowers and hopes they don’t offend Steve. The man that comes over isn’t one that Bucky’s met. The guy offers his hand. “Welcome to The Red Room, I’m Clint Barton, the co-owner.”  

“Hi, Clint, I’m James Barnes and would really like to talk to Steve.” Clint cocks an eyebrow, smirking, so Bucky’s sure that he’s been a topic in the store. He just hopes it’s for the right reasons.  

“I can take you back. He’s in the warehouse.” They weave through the store, out the back and across the alley into the warehouse, where Bucky stops breathing.  

Steve is working on something, but he’s not wearing a shirt. All those muscles are glistening with sweat and Bucky understands the term thirst trap. “Hey Steve! Someone’s here to see you!”  

Looking over, Steve sees Bucky, hands the varnish off to Sam and smiles. Bucky’s got a problem that he hopes will resolve itself. “Bucky?”  

When Steve comes over, removing his gloves, he’s about to offer his hand. Bucky leans in, kissing Steve’s cheek instead, then handing him the flowers. “Listen, Angie can’t stop talking about you and I can’t stop thinking about you, so what would you think about having dinner with me?”  

Everyone in the warehouse has stopped to watch, screams out, “HE’D LOVE TO!”  

Lowering his head, Steve is both embarrassed and annoyed. It’s true that he’s been talking about Bucky and how he’s not like other people. And it’s true that he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about the man. “I think your friends are encouraging you to say yes.”  

“I think with friends like these, I don’t need any enemies.” Bucky giggles and Steve’s sunk. “I would like to have dinner with you, but could you promise not to take me to one of those places that serves tiny portions and charges an arm and a leg.”  

“Oddly, I’m not a fan of those places.” Coming closer, Bucky looks into Steve’s eyes and knows he’s going to fall for this guy fast. “In fact, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to cook for you.”  

Stepping a little closer, Steve smirks. “And what would dinner be prelude to?”  

“That’s all on you. I have no expectations other than a nice dinner with a guy that I think is special.” Blushing, Steve sniffs the flowers to try to cover.  

“Dinner it is then.”  

Then, because Sam is an asshole, he shouts, “Thank god we don’t have to listen to the pining anymore!” Steve’s pretty sure he’s been waiting days to say that.  

Chapter 11: Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

Summary:

Bucky has a quirk. Steve's trying to survive the quirk. Then things fall into place.

Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore  

 

Bucky has changed.  

Steve knows this and understands that there’s no way for Bucky to go through everything he’s been through and not change. It’s okay and in some ways it’s good. Bucky carries himself with a confidence now that’s not born from being the most popular guy around, it comes from skill that Bucky has. The things that he can do astound Steve and the other Avengers.  

Not that Bucky is an Avenger.  

He went out with Sam, fought a battle, then came home and told Steve that he didn’t want to do that anymore. When Steve asked him what he wanted to do, Bucky just shrugged and said, “Whatever I want.”  

It was a big step, and Steve is so proud of his friend for taking his life back and doing all the things that he wanted to. The first thing he did was learn to cook. That was a raging success, and Steve will admit that he loves when it’s Bucky’s night to cook. Then, he learned how to knit. At first, Steve wasn’t sure about that, but the more Bucky practiced the better he got. Now, Steve has sweaters and socks that are soft and warm.  

There is a problem though.  

It’s not a problem, exactly, but it’s causing Steve to feel things he shouldn’t. When he asked Bucky about it, the explanation made sense, so Steve tries to let it go. Bucky doesn’t sleep with any clothes on. He told Steve that it’s because he felt so confined by Hydra, that he doesn’t want to wake up from a nightmare and feel like he’s being held down. That’s great because it means that Bucky’s understanding himself better.  

The problem happens in the morning.  

Steve goes for his usual run, lapping the city, then he stops for coffee. The first morning, he got Bucky’s coffee, just the way his best friend likes it and takes it home. Knocking on Bucky’s door, Steve lets himself in. Bucky stretches and wakes up, then sits up on the side of the bed, letting the blanket fall away. Steve freezes for a few seconds because…  

Everything is on display.  

That first morning, Steve had nearly dropped the coffee and bolted from the room. That’s when they talked about why Bucky sleeps that way. Knowing the reason, Steve decided not to draw attention to the situation. So, every morning he gets Bucky’s coffee, takes it into his room, and tries to ignore the fact that everything, under Bucky’s clothes, is no longer a mystery.  

 

On this particular morning, Steve opens the bedroom door and finds Bucky sitting up on the edge of the bed. His hair is all over the place, since he grew it out again, looking like a bird nest. “You look like you went ten rounds with Joe Lewis.”  

Bucky looks over, eyes barely open, giving a huff. “I feel like it too.”  

Standing from the bed, Steve is shocked and, like the first morning, he nearly drops the coffee. Bucky’s erect. Not only that, but he’s huge. Fumbling for a second, Steve hands the coffee over. “If you wanna talk about it, just let me know. I’m gonna shower.” Steve beats a hasty retreat, closing the door behind him and hanging his head, leaning against the wall. He’s never thought about Bucky’s anatomy before, yet now, Steve can’t stop thinking about what he just saw.  

Here’s the real problem.  

Since all this started, and Steve walked in on him that first morning, he’s been having thoughts. They aren’t appropriate thoughts to be having for one’s best friend. And now, Steve’s seen just what he could drop to his knees and worship, making all this even more improper. Climbing into the shower, Steve leans against the wall, letting the water run down his back and chastises himself for this. “He’s your best friend!”  

Steve’s pretty sure that ship has sailed.  

Bucky isn’t just his best friend. He’s become more than that. When he took the stones back and told Bucky that everything was going to be okay, he meant it. Steve has done everything in his power to make sure that man gets the support and understanding that he deserves. Now, Steve’s having thoughts that aren’t just about Bucky’s dick. He’s started thinking about cuddling on the sofa, watching TV. Cuddling in bed and serving Bucky breakfast after a long night of...  

“NO! I’m not going there.” Steve’s got a problem, and he doesn’t know how to solve it. He feels helpless and never wants to feel that way.  

 

Just when he thinks that nothing else could possibly surprise him, Steve is faced with a new issue. He’s minding his own business, working through threat assessments for the team, knowing that he should go to bed. It’s late, in a few more hours, Steve could go for his run, so he closes the file, shutting down the computer. Then, Bucky’s bedroom door opens, and he walks down the hallway to the bathroom.  

He’s not wearing anything.   

Instead of doing the proper thing and turning away, Steve watches him walk to bathroom. He can’t take his eyes from the man’s ass. It’s just perfect: high and tight. Firm and leads down to thighs that could kill a man, and Steve wants to know what that would feel like. Not that he wants to die, he just wants to know what those thighs would feel like wrapped around his head, or his waist, or his shoulders. Anywhere that Bucky would like to put those thighs, Steve would appreciate.  

Instead of going back to his room, Bucky comes out of the bathroom, heading into the kitchen. Resting his chin in his palm, Steve just watches him moving around the kitchen, getting a glass, filling it with water, drinking it. Then, Bucky looks over, freezing. “Somethin wrong, Steve?”  

Coming back to himself, Steve clears his throat, jumping up from the desk. “No, nope, just headed to bed. You okay?”  

Bucky gives him a soft smile and Steve thinks it’s because he’s always checking in, making sure that Bucky’s got what he needs. “I’m good. Just woke up thirsty.” Sitting the glass in the sink, Bucky heads back down the hall. “I’ll put that in the dishwasher in the morning. G’night, Steve.”  

“Night.” Steve’s distracted by that ass again, watching it walk away. Once Bucky’s door closes, Steve hangs his head. “I’m so screwed.”  

 

The weeks and months come and go this way. Steve takes a run, gets coffee, takes it to Bucky and gets an eye full of things that even best friends shouldn’t know about each other.  

Until...  

Steve gets back from his run, coffee in hand, and fortifies himself before opening Bucky’s door. Kicking his shoes off at the door, Steve knows what this is. It’s taken a while to figure it out because Steve’s not good with emotions. Contrary to what some people think, he’s protective of his heart.  

He’s in love with his best friend.  

More than anything else, Steve doesn’t want to put that pressure on Bucky, who at some point will start dating because he’s a social guy. Steve knows that when he loves someone, it isn’t a flash in the pan. He’s in it for keeps and wonders how he could be so stupid as to not see this decades ago.  

The problem is, this morning, Bucky is still asleep and the dream he’s having isn’t good.  

Going to the bed, Steve sits the coffee aside and kneels. Reaching over, Steve freezes because he’s been told that waking someone from a nightmare can be dangerous. So, instead, he pulls his hand back and starts talking in a low, soft voice. “Whatever it is, Buck, it’s not real. You’re home with me and nothing can get you here. It’s just a nightmare. It can’t really hurt you.” The tossing and turning continues. “Come back to me, Bucky. It’s Steve. I’m right here.”  

Bucky’s eyes fly open, staring terrified at the ceiling. Then he turns, locking eyes with Steve. “Steve?”  

“Yeah, yeah, I’m right here. It was just a dream. I’m not lettin anyone get you.” Reaching over, Bucky pulls Steve onto the bed and under the blankets. Wrapping himself around his safe place, Bucky doesn’t let go. To make him feel better, Steve’s pulls him as close as possible. “You wanna talk about it?”  

“No, I just need to feel safe.” Not giving it another thought, Steve hangs on, talking in quiet words to get Bucky’s heart to settle down. Steve falls into a deep sleep after he hears Bucky’s breathing even out.  

 

Waking later in the morning, Steve is confused until he fully awake and realizes that he’s in Bucky’s bed and remembers this morning. Looking down, he sees Bucky still sleeping. Bucky was always the best-looking guy in the neighborhood; now, he’s just beautiful. From the top of his head to the souls of his feet, Bucky Barnes is a heartstopper. Steve should extricate himself from this situation, but that part of him that’s selfish, that he buries deep down, decides that he’s going to enjoy holding his friend.  

That’s a great plan for Steve until Bucky starts moving against him. Steve can feel that he’s aroused and chalks it up to what happens to a lot of men in the morning. But Steve’s seen that now and wants to enjoy this moment. There’s a small voice, in his head, that tells Steve this is a step too far. Then, Bucky makes a whining noise, and Steve feels like a creep. “Bucky?”  

Waking slowly, Bucky sighs. He sounds content. Then he rubs his face in Steve’s shirt, making the sound again. He must wake completely because he realizes what his hips are doing and stops. “Sorry. I shouldn’t...”  

“Hey, hey, pal, it’s okay. It’s just how some of us wake up.” Bucky looks up, shyness on his face. That confident young man from so long ago, was never shy like this. It’s, for all intents and purposes, the straw that breaks the camel's back. Steve doesn’t think, he just does. Leaning in, he kisses Bucky’s forehead. Only after the action does Steve understand he’s crossed an imaginary line.  

Bucky grins up, moving closer to Steve. “If it’s natural, then why don’t you stay for a little while?”  

“Buck?” Steve’s confused brain is not computing what’s being said.  

“I mean it, Steve. I know you don’t feel about me the way that I feel about you, but we could scratch each other’s itches.” Steve sits up, displacing Bucky.  

The motion causes the blankets to fall and Steve to see that not only is Bucky aroused, but he’s really, very aroused. “Buck, you wanna explain what you mean?”  

“Well, I mean, I’m not dating and you’re not dating, and sometimes we have needs. We could just...” Steve holds up his hand, stopping Bucky’s words.   

“No, explain what you meant about feelings.” There are some jumbled words, Bucky trying to talk his way out of that statement he made, but Steve’s not having it. “No, don’t try backtracking, just tell me what you mean!”  

Bucky’s never seen Steve like this, he’s frustrated and seems angry, so Bucky just throws the words out. “I mean that I love you!”  

Everything in the room stops. The words hang there, like Steve could pluck them from the air to examine. “I need to be clear here.” Bucky nods, still not looking at Steve. “You are in love with me?” That gets a nod, but not the eyes that Steve wants to see. “You’re in love with me.” Bucky wants to clock him aside the head, so when Steve turns, the biggest, most brilliant smile on his face, Bucky doesn’t move. “I love you too. I thought it was just me. And seeing you without clothes every morning’s been killin me.”  

Drawing Steve back down, Bucky smirks, and that’s a familiar look. One that Steve remembers Bucky wearing on more than one date. One that usually meant that Bucky knew he had the girl’s attention and planned to push the boundaries or proper. Looking down, into Steve’s face, Bucky plays with the t-shirt that Steve’s wearing. “So, instead of us scratching an itch, here and there, we could be doing this...say...every day.”  

Burying his fingers in Bucky’s hair, he yanks the man down. “Fuck yes, we can.” Then he’s kissing the man that his heart chose.  

 

Later that night, Steve’s snoring away, in Bucky’s bed, and Bucky’s in the kitchen on the phone. “I really thought I was going to have to start jerkin off in front of him to get him to make a move.”  

“Hey, hey, hey, I didn’t need to hear that!” Sam sounds disgruntled, but like he’s also smiling. “I’m happy for you, man.”  

“I had no idea that the greatest tactical mind could be so slow.” Bucky huffs. “Thanks for pushing me to do this.”  

“You know I’m always on your side and considering everything that idiot did for you, there was no doubt in my mind how he felt about you.” Bucky chuckles. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.”  

“Thanks again, Sam.” Hanging up, he goes back to the bedroom, where Steve is still lightly snoring. “You may be slow on the uptake, Rogers, but once you figure it out, you know how to fulfill my fantasies.”  

His voice must rouse, Steve because he turns over in bed, looking at Bucky leaning against the doorframe. “Get your ass back in this bed, Buck.” With a smile on his face and his heart beating in time with Steve’s, Bucky does what he’s been told.  

 

Chapter 12: Just the Way You Are

Summary:

A short scene that's been playing in my head.

Notes:

It's been a while since I posted anything. Nearly three months ago my daughter was diagnosed with Burkit's Lymphoma. She started treatment immediately, so for the last few months I've been spending a lot of time in the hospital with her and taking her to the cancer clinic. I'm exhausted, but thought it would help my mood to write something.

Just the Way You Are  

 

Steve stands at the window, looking out at the street. The lamp across the way lights a small patch of the sidewalk. He knows that Bucky’s out there, on a date, and he should be in bed, being sick again, but he can’t sleep until he knows that Bucky’s home safe. For the last year, it’s been like this. Bucky moved in, making sure that Steve knows it’s not because of finances, but because he wants to be on his own.   

Steve couldn’t make it on his own, not with getting sick at the drop of a hat. They don’t say it, never broach the subject. But they both know that Bucky’s keeping them afloat. Between the job at the docks and his boxing, Bucky’s keeping them in better circumstances than most. It’s nights like this though that keep Steve up. His best friend is social, popular even, a different girl every weekend.   

And it makes Steve’s soul ache.  

When he sees Bucky shuffling down the sidewalk, Steve ambles back to bed, waiting. After stripping off his clothes, Bucky climbs into the bed, throwing an arm over Steve. “I know you ain’t asleep, punk.”  

Steve tries to shift around, but decides against it when his back twinges with pain. “Yeah, I guess I’m a worry wart.”  

Bucky snort laughs, then snuggles into the blankets. “Don’t gotta worry, Steve. I know how to take care of myself.”  

“I’m aware, but I’m still gonna do it.” Steve closes his eyes, not seeing the smile that graces Bucky’s face.   

 

When Bucky finally came home, he remembered most of his previous life. He doesn’t connect that life with this one, though. It’s like seeing things in a dream, where there’s a disconnect between what was and what is. Sam tries to get him to date, Natasha tries to get him to date. They haven’t had success with Steve, so they’ve turned their attention to Bucky. It’s an exhausting ritual that Bucky wishes he could avoid. He’s having trouble coming up with excuses; hoping that they’ll finally give up.  

There isn’t much he can do, except tell them no and when that doesn’t work, he just doesn’t show up for the date. He knows that leaving those poor women sitting alone in restaurants isn’t something he would have done before, but he’s not the same carefree kid he once was. Everything he saw during the war, then after when he wasn’t in control of his own mind influences his current state. The weight of that sits heavily on his shoulders.  

The one person that doesn’t treat him like they used to is Steve. He treats Bucky like he’s a different person because he is. He’s also aware that he doesn’t treat Steve the same either because, although he remembers Steve from before, the man he lives with now isn’t that person. So, Bucky watches this Steve, learning things he didn’t know before or that weren’t there before. What he’s learned is…disturbing.  

Steve was quiet before, but he’s more so now. Steve was a gifted artist, but never picks up a pencil for that anymore. Steve was focused in any given situation before, but now, that focus is only about the fight. Steve is closed off in a way that he never was before. The only time that he seems happy is when the two of them are home and Steve’s cooking something.  

He has no idea why Steve is like this now and doesn’t have anyone he can ask because all of them only know this Steve. Bucky knows better. Stepping into the living room, Bucky watches Steve going through reports for a few seconds. “Hey.”  

Looking up, Steve smiles softly. “Hey.”  

“I’m gonna go for a walk.” Steve starts to stand, so Bucky holds up his hand. “I just need to clear my head. I won’t be gone long.”  

“You sure you don’t want me to go?” Shaking his head, Bucky goes to grab his jacket and glove. “It’s supposed to storm tonight.”  

“I’ll be back before that starts.” Closing the door behind him, Bucky takes to the dark streets, hands shoved into his jacket pockets, head down. He wasn’t lying when he told Steve he needs to clear his head. Things, unforgivable things, have been swirling around in his head for weeks, maybe months. For all Bucky can remember, these things may have been there before.  

He doesn’t even notice when it starts to sprinkle. By the time he makes his way back home, it’s raining. It’s coming down in large drops that could be painful, if Bucky’s body worked the way it used to. Stopping on the sidewalk, across from the apartment building, Bucky looks up at the window on the top floor. That’s his home, with Steve, yet he feels like it could be better. With one small change.  

Staring at the window, he realizes that he’s crying. The Soldier doesn’t cry, but Bucky Barnes does. He cries for what he lost, the innocence that will never be back again. He cries for Steve and the artistic wonder he used to have. Then, he cries for a love that he never expressed. Wishing more than anything that it wasn’t this way, Bucky cries for a broken heart he’s been carrying.  

 

Steve hears the rain pick up. Getting up from the desk, he goes to the window, looking at the angry storm moving through the city. His eyes catch movement, and he sees Bucky, stopped on the sidewalk across the way. He sees his friends head come up, then hang limply. He sees as his friend's shoulders start to shake. Steve recognizes the heaving movement for what it is. Bucky’s crying. Running for the door in nothing but joggers and a t-shirt, Steve’s out of the building and across the street in super-soldier time.   

Gently, he cups Bucky’s chin, pulling the man’s eyes to his own. Between the rain and the tears, Bucky looks beaten in a way that reminds Steve of when he first came home to him. “Buck, what’s…are you okay?”  

Because he can’t say what he really wants, Bucky spills everything as cryptically as possible. “No one wants me, Steve. No one will ever want me. I’m broken. I’m going to be alone.” Bucky knows that Steve will always make a place for him, but it doesn’t mean the same.  

The words are a stuttered mess, one statement falling over the others. Steve’s eyes grow wide, disbelief coloring logically thought. Before he can stop his own truth, it falls from his mouth before better sense can stop him. “You won’t be alone. I want you. I’ve always wanted you.”  

They stand, staring at the other, Bucky trying to parcel together what Steve’s saying and Steve wearing a look of hope. “Steve?” He can’t mean what Bucky wants him to mean.  

“I used to stand in the window, waiting for you to get home from dates. I dreaded the night you wouldn’t.” The rain keeps beating down on them, yet Steve doesn’t stop. “I knew you would meet someone, and I’d lose you.”  

“I’m not that kid anymore, Steve.” Bucky’s trying to wrap his head around what’s being offered, so he pushes away the clawing words in his mind, words that sound like one of his handlers.  

“I know and I don’t care. I need you.” Casually, almost gently, Steve brushes the dripping tendrils of Bucky’s hair away from his face. “I want you.” Pulling at Bucky’s hands, Steve drags him across the street and into the building. “We’d be catchin our death if we didn’t have the serum.” Bucky pulls them to a halt just inside building. Steve turns, raindrops and tears tracking down his cheeks. “Please come home to me, Bucky. Be whoever you want to be. Just come home to me.” As the words fall from his lips, Steve finds himself getting quiet. His pleas are heard, he knows that.  

The squishing sound of their wet clothes fills the foyer, making Steve chuckle. “You’re not just saying this to get me to come inside, are you?”  

Steve’s soggy voice chuckles in the dim light. “I’m sayin it because I’ve wanted to say it for decades. You’re just givin me a chance now.”  

“Then say it.” Pulling away, Bucky stares into Steve’s eyes.  

“I love you, Buck.”  

The only thing to do with those words is to smile. “I love you too, Stevie.”  

 

 

Chapter 13: We've Only Just Begun

Summary:

Steve and Bucky at the Met Gala

We’ve Only Just Begun  

 

It’s been a long five years of rebuilding, after those that had been snapped away come home. Steve stepped away from being Captain America, since handing the shield to Sam. He doesn’t want the title anymore because he doesn’t know what that title is supposed to mean in this new world. Instead, he stays at the new Avengers Compound and trains the incredible number of enhanced individuals that need direction in their lives.  

Tonight though, tonight is something special. After five long years, New York is hosting the Met Gala, trying to give a little goodness back to the city. Being the first, since the return, they’ve forgone asking actors and musicians and asked that new and old Avengers alike, wear the incredible creations done by the designers.  

Steve isn’t sure about the whole thing, but they are donating the money to charity. Felipe, his designer, came earlier and helped him into the suit. Steve’s in the downstairs showroom of the designer’s studio. He’s not sure that what he’s wearing can be called a suit. It breaks all the traditional ideas about normal eveningwear. “They better raise a lot of money from this.” Steve turns, this way, then that, checking how everything fits and looks. “I gotta admit, it fits better than any suit I’ve ever worn.” The woman helping him smiles graciously.  

“Does that include the stealth one because that one was pretty great.” Turning Steve finds Darcy, leaning on the doorframe. She’s not going tonight, but drove over with Steve to give moral support.  

“Yeah, it includes that one too.” She comes over, walking around him and making Steve a little uncomfortable.  

“Rogers, Felipe out did himself.”  

Making his way out to the car, Steve is followed by his handler, who is giving instructions on how to enter and exit the car without getting anything wrinkled. The drive over, all Steve can think about is Bucky and what Felipe made for his friend. Normally, one designer works with one star. This year, Felipe insisted that if he was going to dress Captain Rogers, then he wanted to dress Sargeant Barnes as well. Something about their outfits complimenting each other.  

As Steve exits the car to screams and flashes, the reception is more than he expected. His handler gets out behind him and starts adjusting everything. The suit is white, with gold embellishments on the right breast and shoulder. The embellishments look like stars because the theme this year is ‘To the Stars and Back.’ The jacket is short in the front, like a waistcoat, but flares in the back with billowing folds. More gold flows down the right arm, making Steve sparkle when he moves. The pants fit tight, but don’t feel like they restrain his motion. He’s in white from head to toe, with gold sparkling here and there. For tonight, he grew his beard out again, trimming it close.  

All in white, Steve Rogers looks like everything good and pure in the world. As flashes keep going off and people are screaming at him to turn in every direction, the second car pulls up. When the door opens, Steve isn’t expecting to lose his breath.  

Bucky gets out, waving and grinning. His suit is exactly like Steve’s except it’s deep, midnight blue instead of white and the stars and embellishments are silver. He moves up the stairs, turning here and there for people to get pictures. When he reaches Steve, his friend is still standing shellshocked, with his mouth open. Stepping up next to him, Bucky leans in, while turning to the crowd. “Close your mouth, Rogers before a fly flies in.”  

Steve snaps his mouth shut, looking over at Bucky, who has his hair tied at the base of his neck with a silver ribbon. “Buck?”  

He looks at Steve, then down at himself. “I think we look damn good.”  

They turn for the cameras and listen as Felipe is questioned about the suits. “What made you decide to dress them this way?”  

Felipe turns, looking at the two men. “I wanted to show that they aren’t night and day, they’re the same, good men, just in different ways.”  

That makes Steve smile. Leaning in, he whispers into Bucky’s ear. “I’m gonna leave you and head up. I think they want pictures of you by yourself.”  

As he’s turning, Bucky grabs his sleeve. “Don’t go too far, yeah?”  

Giving a grin, Steve nods. “I’ll just be up a few steps if you need me.”  

As he moves away, going to the next landing, Steve turns to watch Bucky move around, letting the cameras get shots of his friend alone. A few minutes later, Bucky turns, checking on Steve’s location and sees the softest look that he’s ever gained from Steve. It’s  almost like Steve wants him to be appreciated for the man that came home after years of doing the bidding of others. He’s not sure what’s going through Steve’s head, but for Bucky, it’s life altering. Following Steve around, when they were kids, wasn’t just to protect him from bullies. It was because Bucky was waiting for this moment.  

 

Bucky watches Steve moving around the room, Wanda on his arm. She’s wearing a red, gold and dark blue dress meant to look like a nebula. They stop, talking with people, while Bucky sips his drink, keeping an eye on the man in white. Clint leans against the pillar Bucky’s resting on. “Penny for your thoughts.”  

Looking over, he sees Clint’s eyes twinkle and suspects the man knows exactly what Bucky’s thinking. “He looks good in white.”  

Smirking, Clint pushes off the pillar. “Maybe you should tell him that.”  

As Clint walks away, Bucky chuckles. “Maybe I should.” He’s always wanted to; even when they were younger, sharing an apartment. All these years later, Bucky’s current situation makes him think that it’s time.  

Checking his surroundings, he finds that Steve has moved Wanda onto the dance floor. Sitting his glass on a passing tray, Bucky heads for the orchestra. Gaining the attention of the piano player, Bucky leans in and whispers in her ear. She smiles at him, nodding. He stands off to the side, watching Steve and Wanda, wondering what they’re talking about. As the song comes to a close, he heads onto the floor.  

Steve sees him coming, stepping to Wanda’s side. “You wanna turn with Wanda, Buck?”  

She smiles, but seems to know that’s not why he’s here. “No, actually Steve, I’d like a turn with you.”  

Steve seems surprised as Wanda moves away, and the trumpet starts a slow and easy jazz. Holding out his hand, Bucky waits to see what Steve will do. When a hand meets his own, Bucky pulls Steve close. “What’s this about, Bucky?”  

Resting his cheek against Steve’s, Bucky sighs like he’s letting out a breath he’s been holding out of anticipation for decades. “You’re my best friend, Steve. I’ve loved you in all the ways a person can love. You’re my family, my best friend, and my heart. I just thought you should know, and this was the easiest way to tell you.”  

Steve knows they’re being watched, but in this moment, he doesn’t care. “I think of you whenever I’m going out on a mission without you. When I first woke up, you were my first thought. When I found out you were alive, there wasn’t anything else; just finding you and bringing you home.” Steve edges closer, chest to chest with his best friend. “I guess what I’m trying to say is I love you too and in all the same ways.”  

They don’t talk again, until the song fades out. When they finally look around, everyone, even the band members are watching them. “I think we made a scene.”  

After their dance, people try to ask, some team members, others the guests, but neither man address the questions. Bucky moves around, observing the people, keeping a watchful eye on Steve, who’s talking with Yelena. Occasionally, he’ll turn, finding Bucky immediately in the crowd, like he knows exactly where the man in blue is standing at all times.  

They take separate cars to Felipe’s studio, changing back into street clothes. Steve doesn’t see Bucky at the studio, so he heads home, waiting to see what the night will bring. Bucky comes through the door, locking it behind him and stands in the entrance of the living room. Steve’s leaning on the mantel, staring into the unlit fireplace. “Where do we go from here, Buck?”  

Striding over, Bucky runs his hand up Steve’s back and into his hair. “Now, I get to kiss you like I always wanted.”  

Pulling their bodies together, Steve smiles softly. “I think that sounds like a few dreams I’ve had.”  

“You dream about me, Steve?” Steve blushes, making Bucky’s smile brighter.  

“All the damn time.” As their lips meet for the first time, the world outside melts away and all that’s left are the hopes and dreams of two men.  

Chapter 14: Angel of the Morning

Summary:

Steve, Bucky and kittens.

Notes:

The kittens in this story are named after my new babies. Yes, I have a Natasha and a Wanda.

Angel of the Morning 

Steve’s up late, later than most mornings when he’s up before the sun. Bucky arrived home last night, from a mission, and Steve just needed to watch him sleep. He knows that Bucky feels strongly about this team that he works with, even though it’s caused a rift between Bucky and Sam. Steve isn’t getting into the middle of it because he sees that Bucky needs to do this job and cares deeply about the people that he works with. It doesn’t matter that Sam doesn’t understand; it only matters that Bucky wants this, so Steve supports him. 

Coming down the stairs, Steve doesn’t see Bucky anywhere on the ground floor. Stepping into the kitchen, a shiver runs through him, caused by the cold tile. Getting coffee, he turns, smiling over the rim of his cup. Every day that Steve gets to see Bucky makes him smile, but this morning is different. This morning, Bucky’s standing in the back yard with their two, furry babies. 

Natasha, mostly black, with a white chin and chest, little white toes and white whiskers, is cradled in Bucky’s left arm like a baby. She reaches up, pawing at the coffee cup, but not really trying to get it. Wanda is standing on his shoulder, front paws in the nest of hair, staring off at some unseen prey. She’s going to be fluffy if her big, bushy, gray tail is anything to go by. The kittens are named after lost friends and show traits of their namesakes. Natasha fears nothing, showing affection sparingly. Wanda is extremely affectionate and stands on her back paws, waving her front paws around. They’re only five months old, yet they have such big personalities. 

That’s not what makes Steve smile though. No, what makes him smile is Bucky’s hair. Even longer, it doesn’t lay flat in the morning. Strands stick up here and there, catching the light of the mid-morning sun. Most people call Bucky’s hair brown, but Steve knows there’s more than just brown. He’s always known that when the light catches it just right, there are shades of chestnut and red. This morning, those highlights are evident, making Steve love seeing it even more. 

Over the rim of his cup, Steve whispers, “I love your hair.” 

As though he can hear Steve’s words, Bucky turns, giving a soft smile to his best guy. Stepping back inside, Bucky places the kittens on the island. “And here I thought you loved all of me.” 

The sun rises a little more, bathing Bucky in a golden glow. Something in Steve breaks open, something from so many years ago, he didn’t realize it was hiding. “I love everything about you. Every hair, every freckle, every dimple...everything.” 

Skirting around the kitchen island, avoiding Natasha’s attempt to snag his shirt with her tiny claw, Bucky grins over at Steve’s look of awe. “I love you too, Sweetheart. Even the parts of you that used to piss me off.” 

Steve leans into the arm that sweeps around his waist, pulling him against Bucky’s chest. The beating of their hearts’ sync up as Bucky leans in to lay a kiss against Steve’s exposed shoulder. “I don’t do anything that pisses you off anymore.” 

Chuckling, Bucky pulls away, looking into Steve’s eyes. “True.” As he leans in again, Steve readily takes the offered kiss. Fumbling, they both sit the coffee cups down, wrapping themselves in the warmth of the kitchen and kinship that goes back decades.  

Before the affection carries them back upstairs, Bucky winces, pulling away. Steve’s eyes flutter open. “What’s wrong?”  

Turning just enough, Steve sees the kittens hanging from Bucky’s shirt, claws digging through the material and into skin. “These two don’t know the meaning of personal space.” 

Gathering the kittens in his large hands, Steve chuckles, rubbing his face in their soft fur. “True, but you wouldn’t have them any other way.” 

“Let’s fix some breakfast and distract them with eggs.” Steve’s laughter carries around the kitchen as he sits them back on the island. Bucky asks for music, Steve gets the food from the fridge, and both men bask in the simple, mundane things that make life worth living. 

Later, lounging in bed, kittens part of the cuddle pile, Bucky talks quietly about the team that he works with and Steve talks about a new painting he wants to do. There’s no glamour in their lives, no media frenzy, no one prying into their personal space. Just two kittens that don’t care as long as they get eggs for breakfast and cuddles. 

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 4 of Work Stories