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There was a cult starting in his name. It wasn’t the first, Jimmy hoped it would be the last but realistically that was wishful thinking. It was never the last, there was always more. It didn’t matter how much he tried to dissuade his worshippers, how much he ignored them, how much he pretended everything was fine, they always had a way of catching up to him.
Jimmy felt justified in his bitterness when he found out they were setting up at his literal front door. Of all the places it had to be Tumble Town? Really?
There was a zero percent chance they had connected this new life he’d built for himself to their god. He’d been excruciatingly careful to ensure nothing about him could be tied back to the Listeners or canaries or gods in general. Joel excluded, he supposed.
Unfortunately he couldn’t continue ignoring them, what with them in his empire committing crimes. He had to take action. Regular, mortal actions people would expect of him. Taking down graffiti, punishing vandals, that sort of thing.
Honestly he wasn’t particularly worried until they started spreading to the other empires.
The scattering of dead birds was also new. He wondered how they even found so many canaries, the jungles must be stripped clean of the poor animals.
All this to say his tried and true method of ‘ignore them until they go away’ was decidedly not working. If things kept escalating they’d start hunting down other religious symbols and authorities in the area to try and assert their dominance.
Empires had two main religions, Santa Perla and Joel. Joel’s was by far more prominent but Santa Perla didn’t interfere with her worshippers like Joel did which could make her temples a more attractive target. Honestly Jimmy wasn’t sure if the Santa Perla Sausage was worshipping was a true deity at all but it was hardly his place to judge. Well actually it was but he was trying to leave all that behind him.
Though Santa Perla might be easier the cultists didn’t seem too afraid of Joel. Jimmy even Heard them saying they had methods to capture and kill gods, at least minor gods like Joel was. It wasn’t impossible they actually could so the threat had to be taken seriously.
He’d have to do something he really didn’t want to do. Talk to Joel.
—
Joel was relaxing inside one of his lush gardens in Upper Stratos with Hermes, spending some quality time with his son before they went off to Sanctuary again. It was a gorgeous day for it and Joel had every intention of making the most of it.
When he heard the sound of rockets approaching he was vaguely annoyed. He’d just wanted some peace and quiet, why’d someone have to come along and bother him? He perked up a bit when he turned and saw the toy Sheriff. At least this visit wouldn’t be a complete buzzkill.
“Timmy! Good to see you mate.” Joel welcomed with a bright smile.
“Hi Sheriff!” Hermes said, waving enthusiastically with one arm while holding his beloved sheriff doll in the other. Joel had given him one of the toys mostly as a joke but he’d gotten very attached to it. It was by far his favorite toy and the only sheriff doll Jimmy wouldn’t say a word against.
“Hey Joel, hi Hermes.” Jimmy said, landing on one of the tree’s branches, high enough up so he was close to eye level with Joel. He glanced at the toy and one of his button eyes twitched but he didn’t say anything.
“What brings you by Woody?” Jimmy glared at him but surprisingly didn’t rise to the bait.
“I need to chat with you real quick, it’s important.” Alright well, looks like he was out to ruin Joel’s day afterall.
Joel sighed but nodded in acceptance. He was sure anything the Sheriff was coming to bitch to him about couldn’t be that big of a deal but he’d better hear him out anyway, just in case. “Hermes, why don’t you go play by the brook for a bit ok? I’ll be just a sec.” The brook was a good distance away, Hermes wouldn’t be able to hear them but they’d still be able to keep an eye on them. Besides, Hermes loved watching the koi fish swim around.
Hermes agreed readily and headed over, leaving the emperors alone.
“Alright Tim what’s up?”
Jimmy sighed, annoyed, but mostly ignored the purposefully wrong name. “Look Joel, there’s some trouble brewing.”
“In Tumble Town?” ‘Any of my business?’ He asked in the more… polite way.
“Yes but it’s spreading. A new cult has taken root and it’s growing quickly. They’re saying they’re worshipping ‘The Canary’ though their god seems largely absent. They’ve been vandalizing property and leaving dead birds everywhere for a while. Every time I lock one of them up they’re gone by morning, I’m worried they’ve got actual magic on their hands.” Jimmy explained anxiously, pacing on his tree branch.
Well wasn’t that curious. Cults were always tricky business, religions taken to the extreme in that way could certainly be dangerous. But with an absent god it was almost certainly a person’s grab for power and not a deity’s. TLDR; mortal problems.
“Oh Sheriff, if you needed advice that’s all you had to say.” Joel said with an easy smile. “I’m sure all this god stuff is above your head, though I guess most things are at your height.”
“This isn’t a joke! And I’m not coming for advice, I'm coming with a warning.” He protested, swinging his small felt arms in outrage.
“Sure seems funny to me. I’m happy to help if you're having trouble managing your empire Jim but if not then feel free to leave.” He waved his hand dismissively, turning to watch Hermes splash in the water.
“Joel please listen to me, these guys seem really serious and they're saying they can kill gods!” Jimmy whisper-shouted, like he wanted to be extra sure Hermes didn’t overhear.
Joel laughed, smirking at the small toy. “We don’t have a thing to worry about. All mortals like to say they can kill gods but very, very few have the power to back it up. Sounds to me like the leader is trying to talk a big game, maybe attempting to scare some of my own followers into switching sides.”
Jimmy scowled, face twisting like he was holding himself back from saying something stupid. Joel just raised an eyebrow, an obvious challenge on his face. Of all the cocky mortals he’d clashed with over the years he hadn’t thought the teeny tiny Sheriff would be one of them, despite their many arguments.
In the end he wasn’t. He sighed, averting his eyes from Joel’s godly gaze. “Please remember my warnings. I’ve had my fair share of cult run-ins and these guys are more than your garden variety. After getting a proper foothold the first thing they’ll do is target other religions in the area and yours is by far the most prominent.”
Joel hummed, slightly impressed with Timmy’s apparent knowledge on this subject. What he said about cults targeting popular religions was certainly true but Joel was hardly concerned. Honestly it might be a little fun to let loose on some upstart mortals, he was so restrained all the time.
“Sure Sheriff, I promise I’ll be careful.” Jimmy’s shoulders slumped, relieved. “I’ll be careful to not step on any of those puny, foolish mortals if they try to cause problems with me.”
“You’re impossible.” Jimmy grumbled. Nethertheless he seemed to accept he wasn’t going to win this one. He pulled his miniature elytra over his shoulders, waving to Hermes and flying off.
Timmy was such a fool, did he even know who he was talking to? Joel was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, thank you. The last thing he needed was a little toy soldier fighting his battles. If those cultists dared to show up he’d be ready.
—
Hermes was playing at their Papa’s house. They had just come by a few hours ago, ready to spend the next few days in Sanctuary.
Normally they loved staying here, they loved running around outside, playing with the animals and enjoying the tropical weather but they wanted to stay in today. When they got here there was some weird stuff, a bunch of dead birdies were scattered around and someone painted mean things on the walls. Papa had promised that he was going to stop the painters and that Hermes didn’t have to worry but… well, Hermes wasn’t scared. They just didn’t want to go outside right now.
Papa was checking on the painters but said he’d be back real soon so when they heard a knock at the door Hermes rushed over to let their Papa in. They didn’t think about how he didn’t normally knock.
When they opened the door they were met with a strange person in a dark cloak with a sheer purple cloth around their eyes. And they weren’t alone, they had a bunch of friends with the same weird clothes behind them.
“Hello?” Hermes leaned behind the door nervously, looking up at the strangers.
“Well hello there godling, is either of your fathers around?” They asked, they spoke slowly and carefully like Hermes was much younger than they were and wouldn’t understand what they were saying.
Hermes wrinkled their nose at the strangers but they didn’t say anything about it. They’d remember their manners, even if the strangers were being weird. “No, Papa’s looking for the bad painters. He’s gonna be back later if you wanna see him.”
The stranger’s smile only grew wider, their friends behind them seemed to close in even more. “That’s ok godling, we wanted to see you. We have a gift for you.”
Hermes was not scared. These people were strange but they hadn’t done anything bad, they just seemed… weird. It was ok though, strangers came and gave Joel lots of presents all the time and he said that soon people would start making offerings to Hermes too. It would be rude not to take the present, even if they didn’t like it very much. That's what their dads said anyway.
“Oh thank you.” They said politely, opening the door a bit wider.
The stranger pulled a golden rope out of the folds in their robes. Hermes did love gold, the sparkling metal caught their eye immediately. There were some markings on the rope too, written in sooty black. The marks felt… bad. Hermes was still learning magic but they swore this was magic too. They didn’t like this magic, they didn’t like this gift.
They backed away slightly but the strangers just stepped closer, now over the threshold of their home. “I don’t think-”
It didn’t matter what they thought because suddenly the strangers were on them. The one in the front snatched their wrist in a painful grip, wrapping the ropes full of wrong magic tightly around their arms. They tried to pull their hands away but they couldn’t, they should be so much stronger than any mortal people why couldn’t they break free? They all had the bad ropes and they all tied them up.
They screamed and shouted, trying to call for help, for Papa, for someone. They saw some of Papa’s animals run off to get him and a few foxes and dogs came to snap at the stranger's heels. The poor animals were kicked away, one stranger chased them down with a mean looking knife but they got away. Before Hermes could call for help again one of them stuffed a piece of fabric in their mouth. It had more runes, the magic held them fast and blocked their screams and sounds.
“We need to get them out of here now, the emperor could be back any second.” Hissed one of the strangers, glancing after the animals anxiously.
“Let him come, we can handle him. Especially with the help of our guest.” One of them sneered, yanking Hermes up to their face. Hermes tried to struggle in their grip but it was like the bad runes were draining their energy. They barely had the strength to kick their legs uselessly.
“We could but we should avoid it if possible. The heretic needs to be delivered and we lack the manpower if their other father should come to defend them.” That’s right, their Dad will save them! He was so much stronger than these guys, he’s stronger than anyone.
They hoped he’d hurry. They were scared after all, scared of the strangers, of the ropes and markings.
One of the strangers hit him over the head with something -a gold staff with more bad marks on it- and then everything went dark.
—
Sausage was a little worried. Originally when Jimmy came to him talking about cults and birds and stuff he hadn’t been too concerned. Sanctuary wasn’t called a sanctuary for nothing and a quick message to Joel confirmed that the Sheriff had paid him a visit as well. Joel was even less worried than Sausage was, assuring him that he and his empire had the full might of Joel’s power behind them. Some upstart cult couldn’t harm them, not with him looking out for them.
It was easier to believe that when the cultists weren’t in Sanctuary. One day he woke up and found his beautiful empire marred with red, ominous graffiti and full of dead canaries. It was all so… creepy, even the roaming cats refused to touch the dead birds.
And this all happened the day Hermes’ was coming over for his week. Normally he’d just ask Joel to do double duty for a while but he’d been really looking forward to this visit. He’d take care of this mess real quick, then he’d have plenty of time for his son.
He was just getting some volunteers set up with supplies anyway. It had only been maybe twenty minutes when a bunch of his animals and critters ran up to him, chirping about danger. Some of the foxes and dogs were limping.
“Babys! What happened beautiful, a rockslide?” He asked, holding a hand out for a small bird to flutter onto.
He couldn’t understand animals as easily as Lizzie could, always struggling to decipher what exactly they were trying to tell him. All he really got was ‘Hermes’ and ‘danger’ and he ran.
He ran to his home, to Hermes and found the door wide open.
“Hermes! Hermes where are you?” He shouted, rushing inside, nearly tripping over Hermes’ beloved sheriff toy. He looked down to pick up the doll and that’s when he saw it, a message sprawled on the floor. Written in red and surrounded by dead birds.
All gods must bow to The Canary
—
So now everyone was worried. More than worried, Hermes was the unofficial nephew to every emperor for miles, they were all horrified at their capture.
Joel was practically inconsolable, he was filled with so much rage no one could come close to him without getting shocked. It felt like static from roughly foot away, no one wanted to find out what it was like any closer.
Sausage wasn’t doing much better. Not only was his son kidnapped but it happened on his watch. It was all his fault.
Immediately he’d called Joel over and as almost an afterthought he called the Sheriff as well. And then all the other emperors too.
Jimmy stared at the graffiti covering the floor in stoic silence for a full half an hour. At least Sausage thought it was that long, he’d kinda forgotten he was there.
As soon as Joel realized Jim was there he started grilling him about the cult, demanding that he tell them everything he knew. He was standing way too close to Jimmy, it had to be hurting him but he didn’t say anything. Maybe his doll body couldn’t get electrocuted?
“I’m not giving you the location of the cult Joel. You’ll just rush in blindly, we need to be smart about this. If they can capture Hermes they can capture you too.” Jimmy argued evenly, his calm demeanor holding strong in the face of Joel’s burning rage. Joel snarled, eyes glowing brighter the angrier he got.
Sausage inched closer to the pair, wincing at the static that shocked him. “Joel-” that was all he needed to say before the static let him in, wrapping around him harmlessly. He walked up to him and placed a gentle hand on his arm, his muscles were so tense they were shaking. “You can’t help Hermes if you're caught. Please, we can figure this out together. I need to know you won’t run off, I need you with me.”
Joel squeezed his eyes shut, obviously fighting with himself. He had to know Jimmy and Sausage were right but his protective instincts mixed with his prideful nature was a lot to push aside.
Finally he sighed in defeat, reaching over to place a hand over Sausage’s. “Ok. Ok, I promise I won’t rush in and get myself taken. But I need to know where he is.”
Jimmy studied his face for a long moment. He must have been convinced by what he saw because he nodded in understanding. “There’s an old mining system on the outskirts of the mesa they’ve been using as a base of operations. I’ve done a bit of reconnaissance but I haven’t made it very far in. From what I can tell it’s a maze of tunnels from the original mine to parts they’ve dug out for their own purposes. We can’t rush in after them.”
The other emperors had been politely ignoring their fight but now that they’d calmed down Pix was quick to jump and add his input. “If they have such a strong advantage inside our best bet should be to lure them into the opening for a full confrontation. Without hiding in their maze or using it to separate us we can overwhelm them with numbers.”
At the mention of an actually plausible plan Sausage relaxed slightly. Joel too seemed to calm down, switching from his previous rage to strategizing in an instant. “That's all well and good but how are we going to lure them out?”
Pix grimaced, a slightly apologetic smile on his face. “Well the only thing I’ve been able to come up with is by tempting them out with something they want. The problem is we don’t really know what they’d be after, or we didn’t until they came for Hermes.”
Sausage stared at him blankly, not seeing the connection. Until he noticed everyone else had turned to look at Joel, the only other resident god.
“No. Absolutely not, no way.” Sausage moved, putting himself between Joel and the others. “That’s not happening.”
“If we make it look like Joel’s gone in alone in some half baked attempt to rescue Hermes-”
“Pix stop. It’s not happening.”
“-they might come out after him. We’ll all be there ready to back him up as soon they’re out in the open.”
“Sausage-” Joel started softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.
Sausage shook him off roughly, turning to glare at him. “What? You think I should just stand aside while you risk your life on some crazy plan?”
“I think you should stand behind me and help me free our son. Pix is right, there’s no other way to get them outside and you’ll all be there the whole time.” He was right. Of course he was right. Sausage wracked his brain, trying to come up with any other way to drive the cultists out of the mines.
“No Sausage is right, this is too dangerous! Look, we’ve all just had a really intense day. We need a minute to take stock of ourselves to come up with a better, safer plan.” Jimmy interrupted, surprising all of them.
“Oh you’d have us wait? Isn’t that what you’ve been doing this whole damn time with those cultists!” Joel snapped bitterly, glowering at the Sheriff.
Jimmy snarled back, not remotely intimidated. “I haven’t been waiting! I’ve been doing reconnaissance, I’ve been trying to arrest the members. Oh and not to mention, trying to warn you guys for weeks!”
“I know I should’ve listened to you ok! Now my son is gone and it’s all my own damn fault are you happy? But I’m not just going to sit here while they’re in danger!” Joel shouted back, golden tears gathering in his eyes.
“Stop both of you!” Sausage intervened in a rush. “Yes, we should’ve listened to you Jim but that doesn’t make it our fault Hermes was captured.” He said firmly. He was immediately horrified that Joel was blaming himself, despite the fact he’d mentally been doing the same. Hearing his partner say something so horrible shocked some sense into him. “I hate putting you in harm's way but I know you and Pix are right. And if they're going to believe that you ran over in a rage we don’t have time to think of a better plan. Waiting will just tip them off to the fact it’s a trap.”
“Guys please, let’s just give it a couple days ok? That’s all I'm asking.” Jimmy said desperately. He looked terrified, like he was already certain they were going to fail.
Pix just shook his head, standing next to Joel and Sausage. “I’m sorry Jimmy but they’re right. We have to do this and quickly. Everyone hurry to your empires and gather your armies, we need to move. Jimmy, are you with us?”
Jimmy glanced between all the emperors anxiously, a last ditch attempt to find someone on his side. Finding none he sighed in resignation, shoulders dropping. “Of course I’m with you. If I can’t talk you out of this then the least I can do is help. There’s a new section of rail lines being laid nearby, it cuts through one of the mountains and is big enough for our armies to hide in. I’ll send over coords for the back entrance, no one will see you go in there.”
“That’s great, thank you Sheriff.” Pix said, sounding genuinely relieved to have him on their side.
Jimmy didn’t answer, just turned and flew off silently.
The other emperors glanced at each other in surprise at the uncharacteristic departure before collectively pushing it aside. It was time to go to war.
—
Scott’s empire, like all of them, had basically no official army. This land had been peaceful for a truly remarkable amount of time leaving them to put less and less emphasis on defense and especially offense. He’d wanted to put out a call for more soldiers but as a group they’d decided against it. Thanks to the graffiti they already knew there were cultists in each of their empires, they didn’t want to tip any of them off.
Because of this his army mostly consisted of a small group of guards, and practically all the other emperors were the same. They could hardly be called armies at all, until they combined forces that is. Together they might just pull this off.
It made it easier to gather their forces at least, it was only a few hours later that they were all hidden in Jimmy’s underground railroad. Well, almost all of them.
It was deep into the night when Scott and his soldiers made it to Tumble Town, further helping them enter undetected. As soon as he arrived he started looking for Jimmy.
Frankly he was worried about the Sheriff, he didn’t exactly get a chance to talk to him at Sausages' but he’d been acting so… strange at the news of Hermes capture. He’d never seen him so frantic, and he’d certainly never seen him turn down a fight before. Even one he had no chance of winning. It was deeply concerning. Of all the emperors he was one of the closest to Hermes, any hesitancy on his part would’ve been unusual. His initial refusal to do anything at all set off some serious internal alarm bells.
After looking through what was presumably the entirety of the cavern he came up empty. Jim was so small, it was easy to miss him sometimes.
“Excuse me mx.” He said to one of Jimmy’s officers who was directing some troopers, clearly a leader of some sort. “I’m looking for the Sheriff, have you seen him?”
“Scott Smajor, good to have you join us.” They said with a respectful nod. “The Sheriff isn’t here at the moment, he’s off doing reconnaissance.”
Scott frowned, concern beginning to ebb into his mind. “Alone? Is that really wise?”
They shrugged, not seeming concerned. “He has been since the early days of the cult. The Sheriff always believed they’d grow into a bigger problem and has been keeping a subtle eye on them for weeks.”
“That’s all well and good but after taking Hermes they’re bound to be on higher alert. When is he set to return?”
“I’m sorry I’m not certain.”
“What’s this then?” Joel asked as he walked up, looking tense enough to snap at a moment's notice. Though he was far from the mindless fury he’d been consumed with only a few hours ago small arches of lightning danced up and down his body with his agitation.
Giving him bad news didn’t feel like the best decision but lying or withholding any information was definitely worse. “The Sheriff is off doing recon on his own, apparently he does this all the time but I’m worried about him.”
Joel frowned, sparks flying from his hair absently. “Guess it’s easy to sneak around at his size. I’d go after him but there’s no way I’d go unnoticed. We’ll give him a few hours before we worry.” Joel pulled out his com to send a quick message, presumably to Jimmy. “Depending on how deep he’s in he might not answer.” He glanced outside, looking towards the moon. “Honestly we can’t wait long. We already planned to leave at first dawn, if he’s not here we’ll just have to go without him.”
Scott grimaced but nodded. It was a miracle they’d gotten the god to wait even this long, trying to hold off until Jimmy arrived -if he even did- would be impossible. He knew the Sheriff wasn’t fully on board with this plan but he couldn’t imagine he’d attempt to desert them. He just hoped he was ok.
—
Jimmy really hated lying to his friends.
Which was weird because he was basically doing that all the time. At least normally he lied through omission, this felt a little dirtier. He hoped they wouldn’t worry about him.
He had practically begged the others to wait, even just a day, but they were determined to move now. If he had a few more hours he could handle this without getting the others involved. Of course he’d been hesitant to use his powers -showing his godly side tended to encourage cultists, even when he used it to tell them to fuck off- but obviously he wasn’t going to let Hermes get hurt.
He ran deeper into the untouched section to mesa, far from the railines or mine. Once he was certain he was properly isolated he lifted out of his vessel. It was like taking a breath of fresh air after a long mining session or taking off a restricting suit after hours of wear. It felt natural, it felt good. Jimmy hated it.
It was strange to mourn something he never had but sometimes it truly felt like he was mourning his humanity. How horrible of him, to miss something he never had a right to.
But this wasn’t the time for his shitty feelings, Hermes was in danger. He hid his vessel in the folds of his cloak and let himself melt into the relative darkness of the dawn, flying away on silent wings.
Their base was a maze of dimly lit passages and offshoots, at one point this was a functional mine so there were ample places to hide. No matter, he wasn’t one to look around anyway, he was guaranteed to have better luck Listening.
He was Listening for a godly signature that would lead him to Hermes when a conversation caught his ear.
“Preparations are nearly complete, the ceremony will take place shortly.”
“And where is the godling?”
“Already in the ceremonial chamber, their death will-”
That was all he bothered to Hear. With new urgency he Listened for Hermes. He Heard them in a large, open chasm. And they weren’t alone.
He flew as fast as the wind, uncaring if anyone noticed his presence now.
Jimmy stormed into the main chamber, balking at the interior. Hermes was held in the corner, bound and gagged, trapped in a gilded cage glowing with powerful, encasing runes.
And if that wasn’t horrific enough the center of the room certainly was. A raised coal platform held a golden altar surrounded by dozens of dead canaries. A sacrificial altar, they were actually going to sacrifice a child to him.
Rage like he’d never felt coursed through his Being, so overwhelming the ground cracked and split under him, outside of his control. The cultists in the area had thrown themselves to the ground in front of him, some were trembling while other, more foolish ones, looked proud. They were all talking over each other, echoing flowery praise and prayers that made him sick. He pounded his coal pickaxe into the ground, the sound far, far louder than what should’ve been possible. The only reason it wasn’t bursting their eardrums was so it didn’t harm Hermes along with them. The cultists silenced themselves, in awe or fear it hardly mattered.
Jimmy scanned the crowd, he couldn’t open his eyes like this but he could still picture everything clearly in his mind. Between the subtle tectonic vibrations of the earth and the breathing, shuffling of the cultists he could Hear every detail.
One of the cultists was wearing layers of golden necklaces and jewels, every breath they took made them rattle. A leader no doubt, gilded as they were. Jimmy pointed to them with his pickaxe, jerking it up to signal them to stand and speak.
They took it for what it was, standing above the crowd. “Oh horrible and powerful Canary, we are honored to have you in person too-” Jimmy made a gesture for them to hurry up. “Apologies my lord, we were just about to sacrifice this heretic to your great name. Have you come to bear witness-”
Jimmy turned his Ears to Hermes enough to confirm their eyes were squeezed shut and then snapped his fingers. He snapped them so loud the cave shook, dust and minor rubble fell to the ground. The cultists leader, also, fell to the ground.
They had not been completely wrong about Jimmy afterall, his power was intertwined with Death herself.
The cultist gasped and heaved, their body rapidly aging. They went from middle aged to elderly to a corpse to a pile of bones to dust in seconds.
The remaining cultists screamed in terror, some tried to scramble away from him while others were frozen in fear. It didn’t matter, no one could run from his rage.
He made quick work of it, the following silence was a blessed respite. The only sound was poor Hermes, shuffling in their cage as the cultists' screams faded to nothing. Jimmy Heard them cautiously open their eyes, looking around confused, not recognizing the piles of dust and ash for what they were. Jimmy walked up to the altar, raised his pick high and crashed it down onto the gold. The monument to him crumbled, gold shattering and coal dispersing into dust.
He used more force than strictly necessary, he could have tapped it and had the same effect but he wanted to get out some aggression, sue him. And hopefully it would be seen as a sign he didn’t mean Hermes any harm. They were a god but they were still a child, Jimmy couldn’t imagine the fear they were feeling.
He let his pick go slack in his hand, still holding it but in a loose, soft grip. He turned to Hermes and walked a few paces closer. He could Hear the poor thing shaking, this was going to be a delicate affair. With a small tap on the ground the cage around them fell to pieces. Jimmy went to his knees, scooting the last few feet to the little god. He wished he could speak in this form, or even hum or something but all he could do was reach forward. Achingly gently he pulled Hermes' gag away, it was tied so tightly he could feel where the rough cloth had rubbed their skin raw.
He wanted to soothe their skin, to push his magic into them and heal any scraps that damned cult had managed to inflict on them. He resigned himself instead to reach for their binds, unraveling the golden ropes with a touch.
Hermes sniffed and shifted uncomfortably, cowering into the farthest corner possible from Jimmy. As slowly as he could Jimmy picked up his pickaxe, rapping it against the ground so cracks could spill from it, spelling out what he couldn’t say.
Do not fear me, Little God
He paused, making sure they had time to read and understand it.
Those bad people said they hurt you for me but I promise I don’t want you hurt, I want you to be safe with your fathers
His reassurances did little to convince them. He supposed he should've expected as much. Loathe as he was to give away his secrets he’d rather Hermes know the truth than fear him.
I want to tell you a secret Little God, please don’t tell anyone
Jimmy reached inside his robes, producing his vessel. Hermes gasped, more tears leaking free from their eyes. Too late Jimmy realized what it must look like, the vessel lying lifeless in hands. As quickly as he could he fell back into it, folding himself into the small form.
He spun around to look at Hermes, even though he’d Heard what they’d done to them seeing it was like a stab to the heart.
“Sheriff?” They asked, voice small and trembling.
“Yeah, yeah it’s me Little God.” He sat on his knees even though the attempt at making himself look smaller seemed silly now. “I uh- I’m so sorry, I didn’t want those people to hurt you.”
“You’re a god too? Like dad is?”
Jimmy winced a bit, shrugging. “Me and your dad are… similar.” Really compared to him Joel was barely a god but that hardly seemed like a thing to bring up now. “But I don’t like people worshipping me like your dad does. That’s why I hide as the Sheriff, so I can live like a mortal.” Hermes nodded hesitantly, trying to convey that they understood, at least partially. “Those bad guys thought I wanted them to worship me and they thought I wanted them to do all those bad things but they're wrong. I just want to live a normal, mortal life.”
Hermes nodded again, more certain this time. “You were the big scary guy?” They asked hesitantly.
Jimmy’s heart ached. He knew what he looked like when he was in his full Listener form, even without Hermes not knowing his… reputation it must’ve been terrifying. “Yeah, that’s what I really look like. I’m sorry I scared you, I promise you’re safe with me.”
“Promise?” Hermes asked, extending their meager power forward, a clear attempt at an oath. It was actually rather impressive for their age.
“Promise.” He swore, letting some of magic flow from his vessel to bind himself to the oath. In reality he could break through their oath like paper but more to the point Hermes would know if he did. It was clever, he didn’t give the kid enough credit. “That was pretty strong magic, I’m impressed.”
Hermes blushed a bit at the compliment, shoulders dropping as they finally accepted they weren’t in danger anymore. “Thanks, my Dad taught me.”
“That’s great, you must be a good student.” Jimmy glanced around the ominous cavern again, shuddering at the sight of it. “We should leave. I’m going to need to change back, please remember I won’t hurt you.”
“I remember.”
“Good, and Hermes,” Jimmy looked them in the eyes, practically vibrating with nerves, “please don’t tell anyone about my other form. Even your dads, I don’t want to lose the life I have now.”
“I promise. But I don’t think I can do another oath right now.” Hermes admitted, looking slightly guilty that they couldn’t return the favor.
“You don’t need to, I trust you Little God.” There was no way Jimmy was letting a child bind themself to an oath for him. Jimmy’s oaths were powerful, the last thing he wanted was for Hermes to feel trapped again. And they would feel it, especially if Jimmy did the oath himself instead of Hermes.
Jimmy backed up slightly and unfurled from his vessel, coming into himself still kneeled on the stone floor. Hermes didn’t even flinch, they truly didn’t seem afraid of him anymore. It made Jimmy dizzy with relief.
He picked up his pickaxe, tapping the ground again.
Little God, can you watch over my vessel for me?
“Yeah! I’ll keep you safe.” Hermes said, picking up the limp vessel. In the hands of a child it really did look like a toy.
I’ll keep you safe too, let’s get you home to your fathers
Jimmy swept Hermes up into his arms, holding them to his chest. They curled into his arms, hiding their face in his flowing robes.
Then Jimmy walked out into chaos. The other emperors had clearly succeeded in drawing out the majority of the cultists, outside was a veritable battlefield. Every one of the emperors was a powerful warrior but even they struggled against the waves of cultists. Some were even equipped with weapons emboldened with the same sick runes that wrapped around Hermes’ binds.
Well, Jimmy supposed there was no point in being subtle. He was already involved, may as well go all out.
He slammed the end of his pickaxe to the ground and the resounding shockwave sucked the sound out of the area. Everyone froze, enemies and allies alike stood still in shock or terror. It was only then that people seemed to notice he was there, like before the cultists fell to their knees, their prayers dying before they left their lungs.
And then Joel bowed. And then they all did. His worst nightmare made real, all his friends cowering before him instead of standing next to him or even laughing over him. If Jimmy had any less control of himself he’d be sobbing.
It would’ve been his worst nightmare at least, if they’d known who they were bowing to. But they didn’t, this wasn’t the end.
He hit the ground with his pick again. Cracks large and dark snaked above his head to the cliff side, changing the terrain to speak what his mouth could not.
FLOCK, YOUR ACTIONS HAVE DISGUSTED ME
There were several silent gasps that Jimmy blatantly ignored.
YOU DARE TO DISRESPECT ME WITH SUCH DISGUSTING ACTIONS IN MY NAME?
Jimmy tapped his pick again, forming small words not on the mountain face but on the ground where Hermes was looking. Scott noticed it too, he edged slightly closer to read as well.
Don’t look Little God
Hermes immediately hid their face in the folds of his cloak, eyes blocked from the view. Good.
Jimmy summoned the bone dust he’d left in his wake, pulling it from the gaping mouth of the cave in front of him. The dust swirled and formed the skeleton structures of the cultists they once were before falling back to the ground. Here on the surface the wind swept away what little was left of their remains.
LOOK UPON YOUR LEADERS, GAZE ON YOUR FATES
Now some of them attempted to run but none made it far. Just like the others they aged and aged and died, leaving nothing but the emperors and their armies behind.
Jimmy distinguished Joel in the crowd -still on his knees, shaking- Sausage at his side. The sight was sickening but he was comforted as he noticed they were both uninjured.
He walked up to them, ignoring how every soldier he passed tensed or flinched at his feet. Once again he knelt, now in front of Joel. He tilted his head down, though his eyes were covered he tried to convey that Joel should look at him. He didn’t need his eyes to know the terror on the gods face but it was nice to be hidden from it nonetheless.
Once he looked up Jimmy held Hermes out to him. Joel seemed too stunned to move but Sausage was quick to snatch the child from his arms, holding them close.
Jimmy stood again, leaving the reunited trio. He turned to the gathered people and tapped the ground once more.
Do not take these misguided heathens words as my own. I wish you no ill will and deeply apologize for their actions against you.
And with that he shot into the air, far past the clouds, far past the point where anyone would be able to see him. He flew far, far away collapsing onto a stretch of untamed wilderness. And only there, far from mortal eyes, did he let himself cry.
—
Joel was beyond terror. He was a shaking husk of a god, still kneeling on the dusty ground of the mesa.
He had never imagined the god they were calling to was a Listener. A power nearly incomprehensible, even to him.
To have such a Being approach him, lower themself to his level it was- beyond understanding. When they held Hermes out to him he couldn’t even reach back, certain it was some cruel trick or trap. That the moment he touched Hermes they’d collapse into dust just as the cultists had. It wasn’t until they were safe in Sausage's arms that he was able to process they were returning his son to him. Or to process how disrespectfully Sausage snatched their child from their arms. The fact that they were still here, unharmed no less, was unbelievable.
And those messages. To think someone so above them would bother to help them let alone apologize-
Joel was a husk of god. Unable to comprehend anything but his son wrapped up in his arms.
Hermes had hugged him the second Sausage let them go and Joel held them back with an iron grip. Nothing could pull them apart.
There was talking above his head -the other emperors disbanding their armies and debriefing probably- but he couldn’t be bothered with it.
Sausage crouched down in front of him, brow creased in worry. His lips were moving, Joel was pretty sure he was talking to him. He couldn’t hear anything past his own heart beating in his ear. Nothing except-
“Dad?” Immediately he snapped down to look at Hermes, still safe in his arms and clutching their sheriff doll. They looked worried, they looked far better than Joel would’ve thought they’d be after being freed from those maniacs. Far better than they should look after being in the arms of a horror like a Listener.
“Joel? Please say you can hear me.” Sausage again, this time Joel could hear him so he nodded.
“Yeah, yeah sorry I’m not- I’m ok I can hear you.” Sausage looked distinctly like he didn’t believe him but he didn’t call him on the obvious lie.
“Joel, do you know what that thing was?” Scott asked, he thought it was Scott anyway.
“That,” Joel laughed breathlessly, “was a miracle. I can not believe any of us are still alive.”
Sausage and Lizzie shared a horrified glance above him but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything other than Hermes in his arms and his heart beating in his chest.
“C’mon Joel, let’s get out of here.” Lizzie this time, she crouched down to wrap and arm around him. He stood on shaking legs, leaning on Lizzie and Sausage for support. It probably would’ve been easier without Hermes in his arms but nothing could make him let go of them.
Eventually they made their way out, out of the secluded corner of the mesa, out of the mesa in general. Pix’s was the closest so they went there, settling in his small camp outside the ruins.
Their soldiers had already been sent back to their homes, only the emperors and Hermes were left. Most of the emperors anyway.
“Ok, we’ve got Hermes back and the cult has been taken care of.” Katherine said, helping Pix pass out tea and snacks. “But the Sheriff is still MIA, finding him is our next course of action.”
“We probably should’ve searched the mine.” Scott said, staring down into his tea. “I was so focused on getting everyone away from that… mess I didn’t think about it.”
“I am not going back there.” Joel snapped vehemently. He had finally let go of Hermes but they were still curled next to his side. Still safe in his sights.
Lizzie winced to the left of him, placing a clawed hand on his shoulder. “That’s ok, we have other people who can search. We could even send word to Jimmy’s people and have them look? They’re by far the closest.”
“We can’t offload this to any of our citizens! It's too important! I’ll go alone if I have to.” Fwhip insisted, obviously disgusted by the very idea.
“Definitely not alone, there’s no guarantee that The Canary got all the cultists and there could be traps too.” Pix shifted, looking at Joel awkwardly. “That was The Canary right?”
Joel laughed humorlessly, ducking his head to avoid the gazes of the other emperors. “Presumably. I don’t know what those cultists were on but that wasn’t a regular god they were worshipping. That was a Listener.”
Pix startled, looking a little starstruck. “A Listener? I’ve heard about them in my research, from what I understand they’re obscenely powerful. Some evidence suggests they’re related to Watchers in some way.”
“Obscene doesn’t begin to cover it, that whole show they put on was a snowflake on the iceberg of their potential. They’re a kind of Watcher if that makes sense, the same types of Beings with equal but differing powers.” Pix nodded his understanding, pulling out a journal from somewhere and furiously scribbling notes. He’d been badgering Joel for a lesson on divinity and gods for ages, he shouldn’t be surprised he’s so interested. Though the last thing he wanted was Pix getting any ideas, as far as he was concerned they’ve garnered way too much attention from them already.
“Well they saved Hermes and said they don’t mean us any harm so they’re good in my book.” Sausage said naively.
Joel shook his head, turning to Sausage with a hard look. He needed him to understand what a big deal this was. Hermes got up to grab a sweet while he was talking. “You don’t understand, the fact that we’re still here is ridiculous! If the Listener didn’t like what the cultists were doing it would’ve been easier for them to wipe out all life in the area than intervening like they did!”
“But they didn’t, they came and intervened even though it was harder and more involved.” Scott mused. “No one’s saying their harmless Joel but they seem safe enough. They didn’t have to save us, they certainly didn’t have to apologize to us but they did anyway.”
That… was true. It wasn’t just a miracle they were alive, it was downright bizarre. And Scott was even more right about their apology, that was genuine insanity. “… I guess.”
“I wish I could thank them.” Sausage said sincerely.
“We are not attracting their attention again. We’re lucky Hermes came out unscathed after being so close to them, they’re-” he cut off, looking around frantically. “Where’s Hermes!” He shouted, jumping to his feet in an instant. A shard of cold dread buried itself in his chest next to his heart as he took in the room, devoid of his son.
Immediately all the emperors were up, searching desperately.
“They were just here!”
“Where could they’ve-”
“I can’t do this again, I swear to the void.”
Joel burst out of the camp and into the open air and nearly tripped over Hermes. Safe and sound.
“Oh Hermes don’t you ever do that again!” Joel fell to his knees next to them. Only after looking them over to ensure they were ok did he even notice Jimmy standing there.
Hermes was hugging the Sheriff, sniffing softly. If it was any other time Joel would be laughing, even with Hermes sitting down and Jimmy on the tips of toes he could barely get his head over Hermes’ shoulder.
“Joel! I’m so glad you're ok. Where’s everyone else?” Jimmy said, letting go of Hermes somewhat reluctantly.
Before Joel could answer everyone was rushing outside with him. “Jimmy? How on earth did you get here?” Scott asked incredulously.
“Oh Hermes thank goodness.” Sausage quickly pulled their son back into his arms. He held them close, whispering to them quietly in Spanish.
Jimmy grimaced a bit, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s a bit of a long story, do you mind if we head back in?”
The other emperors glanced at each other before Pix shrugged, gesturing them back inside. “Sure, my home is yours after all.”
They settled in the camp again, this time Sausage didn’t let go of Hermes and Joel refused to fully look away from them.
“Sorry I wasn’t there for you guys today.” Jimmy said, ducking his head, avoiding eye contact. “I was doing some last minute recon and got caught. They took my com so I couldn’t call for help and locked me up inside the mine. I heard a fight break out -I assume that was you guys- but by the time I managed to free myself it was over. There wasn’t anyone left in the mine, when I couldn’t find Hermes I headed back to town to ask if anyone saw anything. My officers told me you guys were reconvening over here so here I am.” He finished with a half shrug, seemingly weirdly nervous about the whole thing.
“I’m just glad you're ok, sorry we didn’t go in to look for you, we got a little… distracted. And we wanted to get Hermes somewhere safe first.” Pix explained. He actually looked rather excited about the whole thing, like the horrific turn of events was a grand historical moment he was lucky to take part in. Joel guessed it kinda was, from a certain perspective.
“Yeah? I heard a lot of screaming, had me really worried.” Joel scoffed at the understatement, shuddering.
“Well you were right to be worried. Their god -a fucking Listener- actually showed up! They slaughtered the cultists but didn’t seem interested in wiping us out with them.” Jimmy flinched at the description, seeming to shrink into himself. Joel was certain the Sheriff had never heard of a Listener before but he didn’t ask for clarification, just nodded silently.
“I’m just glad everyone’s ok.” Jimmy said with a sigh. “Look I’m… sorry. I knew those cultists were trouble, I should’ve stopped them before they became a real problem. I shouldn’t have been so hesitant to act.”
Joel blinked at him, surprised. “Come on man it’s not like you coulda done anything on your own. If you’d tried handling it yourself it would’ve been an even bigger mess.”
“Yeah, maybe.” Jimmy mumbled, avoiding eye contact.
Something didn’t feel right, Joel had the distinct impression he was missing something important. He squinted at the Sheriff, an itch building under his skin the longer the silence lingered.
Before he could figure anything out Fwhip spoke up. “Yeah Jim don’t worry about it, you did everything you could’ve. I’m more worried about the Listener, think they’ll be back?”
Joel turned his attention towards him, suspicions forgotten for now. “That’s my main concern too, it’s true they didn’t seem malicious but if they ever change their mind there’s no way we could stand up to them.”
“Maybe we should make some offerings to them? To thank them or… placate them?” Sausage suggested thoughtfully.
“No!” Jimmy shouted, voice booming like Joel had never heard before. Everyone snapped over to stare at him in shock and he shrunk under their gazes. “No I- I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’ll just attract their attention, they’ve left so let’s just hope they stay gone.” Silence hung heavy in the room, no one was quite sure what to say to the unusual outburst.
“… I see your reasoning. Ultimately we need to decide if we’d rather avoid or appease them.” Joel said finally. “I don’t know which would be better, I have a decent amount of knowledge about the Watcher and Listener’s pantheon but this god isn’t familiar to me. It could go either way on which is least likely to tick them off.”
“The only thing we do know about them is the stuff the cult was on about and what they said themselves. Based on their… response to the cult we can’t take anything they said at face value. It might be safer to assume they were doing everything wrong, not just the sacrifices.” Pix said, pulling out a heavy tome with an ear symbol on the front.
“Some gods genuinely don’t want worshippers or find them annoying. Since I’ve never heard of them that could be the case, or they may just be young for a Listener.” Joel explained, crossing his arms. “At best we’d be guessing.”
“I don’t think they want any worshipers.” Hermes said quietly, shocking all of them into silence.
“Hermes?” Sausage questioned softly, arm still around them.
Hermes fidgeted nervously, glancing around the room. Their eyes seemed to linger on Jimmy especially. “I don’t think they’d want us to worship them. When they saved me they said they don’t like it, I don’t think they were just talking about the bad cave guys.”
“What else did they say?” Pix asked eagerly, abandoning his tome for his notebook.
“Nope!” Joel said, snatching the book from Pix’s hands and slamming it firmly on the table. “You are not interrogating my son after they were just kidnapped! They’ve been through enough.”
He glared at Pix for a few moments more to really get his point across before leaning back, pinching the bridge of his nose. “The only thing we needed to know was if our worship would be well received and now we know it won’t be. Let’s just leave them alone and hopefully they’ll forget all about us.”
“Hopefully.” Jimmy said softly, sounding the most relieved Joel had ever heard him.
Joel wondered why Jimmy specifically was so terrified by the Listener. Even the emperors who saw them kill the cultists didn’t seem as wary of them as he did. Honestly Jimmy had been freakishly paranoid from the very start of the cult. It’d make sense for a mortal to be frightened by that stuff, if Joel had ever known Jimmy to be scared of anything. Just a few hours ago he’d faced down Joel’s full wrath and barely flinched. Maybe those cultists had done more than just captured him after all.
Didn’t he say something about having past experiences with cults?
Hermes yawned, effectively pulling his attention away from the toy Sherriff.
“Poor Hermes, you’ve had such a rough day.” Sausage said kindly, pulling them fully into his arms. He turned to the rest of them with a weary smile. “If it’s all the same to you guys we should probably go, unless there was more we needed to discuss first.”
Joel nodded enthusiastically, jumping to his feet and offering a hand to Sausage. “Yeah, yeah I’m ready for this day to be over. Anything else we can talk about later.”
The others voiced their agreement, some more reluctantly than others but all Joel cared about now was getting his family home. He leaned in closer to Sausage and Hermes, speaking softly. “Could we stay in Stratos tonight? All three of us?”
Sausage smiled gratefully, nodding. “Yes, yes please.” He shifted a dozing Hermes more solidly into his grip and followed Joel out of the encampment.
The danger was past them for now, the threat of the Listener still hung over their heads like a damning axe but they couldn’t do anything to fight it off. Even if there were some questions left unanswered they were as safe as they could be, Joel would have to be content with that for now.