Chapter Text
Hongjoong stares down at the numerous headshots spread out across his coffee table, some overlapping and hiding part of their faces, with others brought to the front by his own hand. But even those he's picked out for a closer look don't seem right.
He can't even put it into words what he's looking for, hence why he had put out an open call for models this season. He's usually so decisive with his vision, so set on the sort of aesthetic that he wants to represent with his collection that it's easy for him to narrow it down…but there's just something lacking about each and every audition he's had.
'Just pick one, Hyung!' Wooyoung declares loudly, drawing Hongjoong's attention away from the myriad of faces before him and to the people that are currently sitting on his couch, since he had relegated himself to the floor in order to be closer to the countless photographs before him. As if that would make a difference.
Wooyoung had been his friend since university, ever since they met at the photography class. Hongjoong had been taking it as an elective, whereas Wooyoung was a photography student. They had been paired together for an assignment and the younger boy just refused to leave Hongjoong's side then, introducing him to his best friend Yeosang—who was currently sat on the other side of Hongjoong's couch, scrolling through his phone and looking like he didn't care where he was.
Hongjoong had, in turn, introduced him to his childhood friends Yunho and Mingi, and they've been an inseparable group of five ever since. So much so that Wooyoung shoots most of Hongjoong's fashion lines with Yeosang being the one constant face since he started his brand, LUCKY. Yunho and Mingi, a dancer and rapper/music producer, respectively, wear his clothes whenever they have to do promo, proudly boosting his brand whenever they can.
'We told Yunho-yah and Mingi-yah that we'd be there at seven,' Wooyoung continues, shuffling forward in his seat. 'We're already half an hour late and you're not even dressed yet! So just pick one!'
Hongjoong groans, folding his arms onto the table, uncaring that he pushes some of the headshots away, and lets his head fall forward onto them. 'I can't just "pick one," Wooyoung-ah! None of them are right. I don't know what's wrong with them, but I just know they're not right.'
He doesn't need to raise his head to know that his youngest friend is rolling his eyes at him. 'That is the stupidest thing I've heard in my life, Hyung. And I grew up with Yeosang-ah.'
The model finally lifts his gaze away from his phone, brows furrowing. 'Hey! I'm just sitting here, why am I getting involved?' He tuts as Wooyoung merely shrugs, shooting him a wide, teasing grin. He then shoves his iPhone into his pocket and shuffles forward on the couch, examining the photos that are visible beneath Hongjoong's form. 'What are you looking for then, Hyung? You must have some idea.'
'I…' Hongjoong sighs as he lifts his head, sliding backwards until his back hits the edge of the couch. He brings his knees up, resting his arms on them and once more finds his gaze drawn back to the many models spread out before him. 'I don't know. They're all stunning and gorgeous and whatever but I want someone fresh. I want—' He takes a breath and closes his eyes, trying to summon his words. 'The collection is very androgynous and there's a few that fit that, but it's versatile, too. I want someone who, when put in one outfit looks like they could kill a man and have no regrets, but when put in another outfit looks like, I don't know, a bunny.'
Wooyoung snorts. 'Is this for your photoshoot, Hyung, or your dream boyfriend?'
Hongjoong's eyes fly open. 'I am going to kill you.'
He starts to move, rolling to his knees so he can push to his feet and then strangle Wooyoung and hope Yeosang will be on his side about it…but as makes it to his knees, the other man's hand is on his shoulder, stopping him short. 'Aw come on, Sangie! You can't tell me you haven't thought about it!'
'More times than you have, so if anyone will ever get the honours, it's me,' Yeosang drawls, earning an indignant yelp from Wooyoung, that both Hongjoong and Yeosang ignore as the model thrusts his phone into Hongjoong's face. 'What about him? I did a shoot with him not that long ago and he was really good.'
Wooyoung glances over Hongjoong's shoulder, looking at the photo and letting loose a low whistle. 'Damn, he is hot.'
'And sweet too! I swear as soon as the camera went away, he turned into the sweetest, goofiest man ever. He wouldn't stop talking about LEGO and—'
But whatever else Yeosang says is lost to Hongjoong, his eyes entranced by the picture in front of him. His hands move of their own accord, tugging Yeosang's iPhone from his hands so that he can cradle the device in his own. He hauls it closer to his face, drinking in every little detail he can about the person in front of him because it can't be. It's just someone who scarily looks like him, that's all, there's no way it's—
'What's his name?' Wooyoung asks.
'Park Seonghwa,' Yeosang answers easily, unaware of the ice that's just flooded Hongjoong's veins.
His fingers tighten around the mobile, gripping it so hard that his knuckles whiten and his wrist begins to strain. He stares back at the face in the screen, noting everything that he hasn't seen in damn near ten years. His hair is longer, which brings a soft sort of smile to Hongjoong's lips, remembering all the times Seonghwa would message him, lamenting when he had to get dragged to the barbers for another haircut, when what he really wanted was to let his hair grow.
HwaMars: Nothing extreme!
HwaMars: Just…collar length? I think that'd suit me.
HwaMars: Maybe a perm, too…though that might be too much.
HwaMars: That's too much, right?
HwaMars: It's too much.
Lucky_no1likeme: If it's what you want, Hwa, then no—it's not too much.
'You doing all right there, Hyung?' Wooyoung asks, nudging at his shoulder with his sharp chin. He digs it in deeper when he seems to realise that Hongjoong is coming out of his thoughts, the sharp pain as it grinds into his arm-shoulder joint enough to pull him from his memories of archived chats that Hongjoong rarely allows himself to thinks about.
It mostly only occurs when he's shitfaced and lonely. He'll pull out his phone and scroll through the numerous messages that they shared before everything went to shit. He can never go to the most recent ones, everything still too raw and painful, even after all those years…but from the initial hesitant greeting until they both went to university? Those are still good memories, even if they are tinged with a certain kind of sadness now, knowing that what they had is now gone forever.
Blinking away those thoughts, Hongjoong nods as he focuses back on the image of Seonghwa. He's slimmed down a little, grown up a lot, but he still has the same honey-tan skin; the same wide, boba eyes; plump lips and lightly downturned nose that only adds to his charm. He tall too, since he has a good few inches on Yeosang, who in turn has an inch or two on Hongjoong. And his proportions are…diabolical, to be honest.
No man should look that good.
No man should have a waist that small.
Especially a man that Hongjoong will never be able to have.
'I have achieved the impossible,' Yeosang suddenly states, standing in a victory pose with his arms extended high above his head. 'I have rendered Hongjoong-ah speechless!'
Wooyoung plays into it, moulding his face into one of utter astonishment before he stands as well, showering Yeosang with applause and compliments. It soon devolves, as it always does, Wooyoung trying to plant loud, sloppy kisses on Yeosang's cheeks, who cringes away with a yelp, bending damn near over backwards in order to get away from Wooyoung's insistent lips.
If anyone's rendered me speechless, it's seeing Seonghwa-yah again. His brows furrow as he returns his gaze back to the photograph of his former friend turned model, taking a risk and swiping to the side to see if there's any more there. He knows Yeosang loves saving all his photoshoots on his phone, so Hongjoong isn't surprised when he finds more and more, some of them have been edited for publishing, others are the raw footage that never made the cut but that Yeosang and his manager wanted sent over anyway.
A lot of them are of Yeosang on his own, but there are a few here and there with Seonghwa, and every time his face appears on the screen, Hongjoong feels his heart stutter in response. He's almost as the end when he finds one that damn near shatters the already fragile organ—it's a selfie with Seonghwa and Yeosang (another habit of his whenever he works alongside someone he likes) and it is the first time that he can truly reconcile the Seonghwa from now with the Seonghwa he knew before.
Yeosang was right.
When the camera is on Seonghwa, he's a man of mystery. His eyes are dark and full of intrigue. He gives off confidence, surety, and sex. He exudes the aura of someone who shouldn't be trifled with, even when wearing a tailored cropped jacket that shows off that trim, narrow waist of his.
But when it's just him and Yeosang? He looks exactly like the teenager who used to send Hongjoong selfies whenever he was bored. Eyes shining with innocence, lips soft and pouty, face somehow growing rounder despite the exact same lighting and makeup and angles. He really does look like he can go from mafia boss to bunny rabbit with the snap of the fingers.
Hongjoong huffs to himself as he finally locks Yeosang's phone and places it on the coffee table in front of him, no longer caring about the headshots that are spread across it. I've found the most perfect man ever for this collection, and the chances of him wanting to work with me are slim to fucking none…all because I was an utter idiotic asshole when I was younger. He scrubs his hand down his face, pinching at the bridge of his nose as the chaos in the room filters back into his ears, letting him know Yeosang and Wooyoung are still fighting.
He has no idea what it's over, now. It could still be about Wooyoungie trying to kiss him or it could be something else entirely. That was the thing about those two. They had been friends for so long that playful arguments quickly turn into rehashing the older playful arguments they've had—someone stealing someone's food turning into an argument about when that happened but they were twelve years old at the time. They don't forget a single moment that they've shared.
It's both adorable and infuriating from an outsider's point of view.
'So, are you going to reach out to him and see if he's up for it?' Yeosang asks as he plops himself back down on his previously vacated seat. There's a grease mark with a reddish tint on his cheek, letting Hongjoong know that Wooyoung had been successful—though the smug smile on Wooyoung's face as he too sits down on the sofa again would be more than enough to give that away.
Hongjoong opens his mouth. It's on the tip of his tongue to say no, that there's no way Seonghwa would accept so it's better to just pretend and settle for second best—whoever the fuck that is because now all Hongjoong can see is Seonghwa in his designs.
The only person he'd consider on a par was Lee Felix and he's already booked him.
He needs three male models for this shoot and with Felix and Yeosang already signed on, it's why he's been in such a difficult position ever since.
But if he says any of that to them, they'll ask why and Hongjoong can't explain why. He can't explain that he was a coward and quite possibly committed one of the words crimes a person can do in these modern times: ghosting a friend. Just let him drift away with no explanations, despite Seonghwa reaching out for a good couple of months after, asking for one, saying that they could fix things, begging for Hongjoong to just talk to him…until one day the just stopped.
And Hongjoong was filled with both relief and regret all at once.
So, no, he can't let his current friends know—friends he had during this time and would have slapped him silly if they had known what he was doing—that he is an awful human being.
A part of him is glad that, whenever he did talk about Seonghwa to the others, he always called him "Mars" since that was the name he put on all his social media profiles so no one from his hometown could find him.
A part of him had wanted to protect the anonymity that Seonghwa was fighting so hard for, even if he knew that their worlds would never cross since they grew up so far away from each other, but another part of him wanted to be selfish. He didn't want to share what he learnt about him with others because it made him feel special, knowing that it was only him that knew Seonghwa's real name, real age, real location.
He wanted to hold that trust close to his heart.
And how had he repaid it?
God, Hongjoong didn't deserve his friendship in the first place, and he definitely doesn't deserve to show up nearly ten years later and ask him to put their past aside and be in the shoot for this season's fashion line.
But fuck, what is he supposed to do? He's running out of time and there's literally no one else as perfect for the theme as Seonghwa is. He knows he'll look glorious beside Felix and Yeosang…
I can always send the request and keep looking, hoping that someone else jumps out by the time his rejection rolls around.
Hongjoong licks his lips before he shifts, moving onto his knees as he gathers up the forgotten head shoots, handing Yeosang back his phone in the process. 'I'll send his manager an email and see what he says. But I'll keep looking, just in case.'
He doesn't need to turn to see the frown on Wooyoung's face because he can hear it as he says, 'In case of what? I mean from what Yeosang-ah's said, he's doing good for himself, made a decent name, but your brand is still way above anything he's done before. He'll be jumping at the chance, Hyung!'
Hongjoong's throat is thick as he forces a smile onto his lips, wishing that his friends weren't so damn perceptive. He turns just in time to catch Wooyoung's eyes narrow in that calculated way of his—like a damn cat catching the scent of a mouse and getting ready to hunt. Hongjoong distracts himself by searching for his brown leather satchel back, stuffing the photos in there and then pulling out his phone.
There's nearly half a dozen missed texts from Yunho and Mingi.
bbyongMING: Hyung! [19:11]
bbyongMING: Hyung! [19:11]
bbyongMING: Where are you? [19:11]
TYUdeongi: if you don't hurry up, Hyung, Mingi-yah is going to be GONE by the time you get here [19:42]
TYUdeongi: and since I had to deal with him last time, he'll be your responsibility [19:42]
Hongjoong groans, shoving his phone into his pocket instead as he fastens his satchel and then slips it onto his shoulder. He knows he probably should change since they're going out, but they're late enough as is and it's not like he's dressed in sweats. The one thing about working in fashion, Hongjoong found early on, is that it's always acceptable to be dressed stylishly.
'Come on. Mingi-yah started without us and by the sounds of things, he's already pretty drunk.'
'He's rushing us and yet he's the reason we're running late,' Wooyoung states with loud indignation, even as he gets to his feet, moving towards the door and slipping his shoes on. Yeosang nods solemnly beside him, their alliance now back in full force which makes Hongjoong roll his eyes.
'Yeah, yeah, come on. I'll buy you drinks to make up for it.'
And as Hongjoong closes and locks the door behind him, tuning out Wooyoung and Yeosang's complaints about how awful a hyung he is, he vows to take a leap and send the email to Seonghwa's manager tomorrow. He won't allude to their past, he'll be strictly professional, presenting it as the opportunity that it is—because Wooyoung wasn't lying about that. Hongjoong's brand is doing really well and while it's true Seonghwa has done a lot of good work, this would put him out there and help him reach a level he hasn't before.
All Hongjoong can do is hope that's enough.