Chapter Text
Umezawa feels that telltale thrill he always feels when he catches sight of Ippo. For the past week the guy has been giving Umezawa and his buddies the slip after school; and Takemura and Matsuda—in their despondence—had today given up the chase, far more interested in trying out the latest arcade game.
But Umezawa has tracked him down… and he doesn’t need those guys. In fact, this is better. Now he can flatten Ippo without any stupid commentary..!
What the hell is Ippo doing? he then wonders, quietly jogging over. Staring in through a window like some freak, apparently, he concludes as his feet come to a stop.
He sees men, predominantly, all with bulging muscles going about their workouts. And Ippo is still staring through the window like he’s outside a bakery and wondering just what to order.
Well damn. If Ippo swings that way, Umezawa now has double the material with which to rag on him. This is turning out to be an excellent day!
“Oi, Ippo,” he starts, holding back a snicker as the young man spins around, red-faced and guilty. “So, this is where you got to?”
“U-Umezawa-kun..!” Ippo squeaks, adopting a submissive little bow. Oh yeah, this guy’s definitely a fruit. “Do you…go to this gym..?” he chances with a gulp.
“Uhh, no?” Umezawa squints. “What the hell gave you that idea?”
“Oh..! I just…” and then Ippo whispers what sounds a lot like ‘you’re really strong’ before he goes on to ask, “so why are you here?”
“It’s a free country?! Jeez!” Umezawa runs a hand over his face, flustered. “Don’t go trying to butter me up thinking I won’t whale on you, y’hear?” To that Ippo nods solemnly. “Because I don’t swing that way!”
“N-no, of course not—!”
“This right here is all natural talent,” Umezawa carries on, gesturing to himself. “And anyway, these places are a rip off. Not that I’m poor like you,” he hastens to add. “I just know better than to throw my money away!”
“Yeah, this place is pretty expensive…” Ippo whispers. He then taps his index fingers together bashfully, his shoulders wiggling like he wants to say something.
“Spit it out!”
“W-Well, I actually got a flyer through the door and they’re offering a… discount.”
Umezawa almost looks interested. Until he schools his face into the usual scowl.
“How big a discount..?” he finally sniffs.
“Forty percent—”
“Forty percent?!” Umezawa screams. Before folding his arms and coughing awkwardly. “That’s shady as shit, Ippo. I know you’re dumb, but even you should know better than that. There’s bound to be a catch. But hey, it’s your funeral.” Umezawa watches as Ippo continues to stand there awkwardly, his shoulders bouncing. “I’m gonna fucking twist you into a pretzel if you don’t SPIT IT OUT—”
Ippo thrusts the flyer he’d been clutching this whole time at the other man, the words ‘it pays to stay together!’ emblazoned above a trendy looking man and woman who are holding hands.
“It’s a couples’ discount..!” Ippo finally blurts out, his face beyond red and fast turning puce. “But… I-I don’t have a girlfriend. And I don’t know any girls I could ask. And I guess it would be pretty dishonest to pretend to be a couple just to get a big discount…”
“This is why people beat on you, Ippo,” Umezawa tuts. “You’re such a drip.” He punctuates that sentence by clenching a fist, and Ippo recoils.
Just then the front door opens and a trio of well-muscled men walk out.
Umezawa can’t help but stare as they walk past. They’re all huge. One of the guys even has a pompadour—wait, he could look like that if he went to the gym..?
“Wow,” Ippo whispers, still blatantly staring. He starts when Umezawa’s hand appears in his field of vision, a pair of fingers clicking impatiently.
“Oi, Earth to worm-boy,” he snaps. “Here’s what’s happening - we’re joining that gym—”
“But—”
“But nothing, you saw those guys! I’m gonna get even more impressive, and you…” Ippo stares at him with wide curious eyes, “you can… tag along.”
“But—”
“If you say ‘but’ again, I’m gonna stick my foot up yours,” Umezawa growls. “And what do you care? Everyone at school already thinks you’re gay—”
“They do—?!”
“—so it’s not even a big deal for you. I’m the one taking the hit here! Jeez…”
Ippo continues to look concerned and not at all convinced.
“Look, it’s not like they’re gonna ask us to prove it or anything - they’ll be way too uncomfortable. It’s the perfect crime, Ippo, just act cool for once in your life—!”
“Alright..!” Ippo shouts, eyes screwed shut and his fists balled tight.
“Alright..?” Umezawa almost sounds like he’s laughing, but Ippo doesn't dare chance a look, still trembling.
“Y-Yeah..! Alright…”
“No time like the present, then,” Umezawa nods, before grabbing Ippo by the arm and dragging him through the door.
“R-Right now..?!”
*
Umezawa plays the part with a worrying amount of realism, one arm slung around Ippo’s shoulder, and the rest of his body leaning against him like he’s been doing it for years.
Ippo trembles, his brain unable to process anything but the combined, heady smell of Umezawa’s fabric softener and hair pomade.
“Wha..?” he blurts out dumbly after gathering his wits long enough to hear a gruff ‘we’re overbooked…’ from the gym owner.
The arm slung around his shoulders squeezes a little harder and a cheek rests on the top of his head as Umezawa sighs, “babe, I told you this place would be just like all the others…” adding a theatric little sniff at the end for good measure.
Ippo stares blankly ahead, missing Mr. Kamogawa’s steadily reddening face as guilt settles across his features. When he abruptly stands up, Ippo jumps, almost head-butting Umezawa in the teeth.
“We can probably squeeze you in. I’ll need your hanko,” the man coughs awkwardly, thrusting some paperwork in their direction. And Umezawa and Ippo both brighten and share a smile. “And don’t forget your entrance fees. You start tomorrow.”
*
When Ippo turns up the next day after school, he spies Umezawa waiting for him outside. He’s just about to take a look at what the guy had been doodling in the dirt when a foot swipes it away and Umezawa is folding his arms with a hard to read look.
“Took your time.”
“Sorry, Umezawa-kun..!”
“Ugh. Whatever. Let’s get this over with,” he mumbles, grabbing Ippo’s hand the second they cross the threshold. And then whispering, “stop freaking out..!” when Ippo lets out a startled gasp, trying to pull away. “Just pretend I’m a girl if you have to, jeez…”
“O-Okay, Umezawa-ku—”
“No one’s gonna believe shit if you don’t call me by my first name, idiot.”
“R-Right…” Ippo feels his cheeks and the back of his neck heat up as he adds, “M-Masa…” before then chancing after a gulp, “chan…”
It’s Umezawa’s turn to freak out then, a dog-like whine erupting from his usually smart mouth before he’s hissing, “s-see? Was that so hard..?” as they make their way to Mr. Kamogawa’s office, paperwork and entrance fees in hand.