Blood and Water

by danishdaddy

Summary:

"Buck’s voice has risen now, “I’m not going to stand by while the man I love is sick or worse just because he’s being stubborn!”

“I’m pregnant!”

The room fell into an immediate silence. Eddie yelled the words, and his own voice was now echoing in his skull. Buck’s expression goes slack, as does the rest of his body.

“What?”"

Or: Eddie finds out he's pregnant. So does the rest of the 118.

Notes:

Damn, that finale was rough. May I offer mpreg Eddie Diaz in these trying times?

This is the most self-indulgent thing I have ever written.

Remember kids, testosterone is not a contraceptive!!

Eddie stares down at his hands, willing them to be still as each breath he takes stirs the nausea that is slowly rising through his torso. The doctor had stepped out for a moment, leaving Eddie to slowly spiral on this stupid crinkling paper. 

Well Mr. Diaz, your bloodwork does tell me you are pregnant.

As soon as those words left her mouth Eddie felt his entire world shift on its axis. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He wasn’t even supposed to even be here if it weren’t for a stupid incident at work. ‘It’ll be good for you’ Buck said. ‘You haven’t been yourself lately’ Buck said. Eddie feels floaty and sick, and he’s sure even if the doctor comes back to release him from this purgatory he won’t be able to comprehend anything she says.

Just then he hears a knock, and he has to say ‘come in’ twice since the first one cracked and faded before going through the thick wood. His doctor opens the door, and she gives him a thin smile.

“How are you feeling?” 

Eddie takes a deep breath, but it feels wobbly, “I’m fine.” 

She raises a brow at him, clearly not believing him. She doesn’t say anything though, instead looking down at her tablet, “Well let me tell you the stuff you wanna know. Currently, based on your blood test results, I would say you’re somewhere in the four month range, so if you’re going to make a decision one way or another I would do it quickly. That being said, there are no guarantees you’ll be seen in time, okay?”

Eddie nods, his mind racing and empty at the same time.

“However, if you do decide to keep this pregnancy, you should stop taking your testosterone. Based on your expression I’m assuming you know how unpleasant that might be?” 

Eddie has had to skip his testosterone injections before, though thankfully it was only once due to an insurance issue, but it left him feeling like his brain was a yo-yo. He also was cold all of the time, which was annoying. 

“I’m aware, yes.” 

“I’m not suggesting you do one thing or another, but I just need you to be prepared for whatever decision you make.”

Assuming he even gets to make one. 

“If you want a more accurate estimation on where you’re at we can schedule an ultrasound, but it’s up to you.”

Eddie just nods dumbly, “I might call later, depending.” 

He didn’t need to say anything else, and after clearing him for the thing he was originally there for, she sends him back out to where Buck was waiting for him. The entire walk there Eddie’s heart was pounding, not knowing what he was going to say to him if anything. Normally, whenever Eddie has a problem, he goes straight to Buck, knowing he would do whatever he could to help him. But now he feels he has to keep this potentially life altering news to himself and come up with a solution on his own and it sucked. 

Eddie walks through the door to the back. Buck pops up, sliding his phone into his pocket. He smiles at Eddie, but it falters when he sees the other man’s expression. 

“Everything go okay?” 

Eddie walks around Buck, mumbling, “Yeah, let's go.”

Buck easily falls in step with Eddie, and Eddie can feel his eyes on him. It made Eddie feel even more squirmish, suddenly feeling as though he could see the non-existent bump under his clothes, could smell the hormonal change that had apparently been there for months. But Buck doesn’t say anything as they both climb into the Jeep, and he doesn’t say anything the entire drive back. His fingers tapped nervously against the steering wheel, but he was giving Eddie the space to speak first, at least for now. 

As soon as they park in the driveway, though, Buck turns in his seat as Eddie undoes his seat belt.

“Are you not gonna tell me how it went?” 

Eddie looks over at Buck as he reaches for the handle, “It was fine.” 

He gets out, and Buck quickly scrambles after him, “Well, uh, did you not get cleared?” 

Eddie continues to the house, roughly jamming the key into the lock, “Oh no, I got cleared.” 

With the door now open, Eddie steps through it and leaves it open for Buck.

“Well then what’s the problem?” 

Keys tossed onto the coffee table, “There is no problem.” 

Eddie can practically hear the eye roll, “Even if I didn’t know you as well as I do, something is clearly bothering you. No one walks out of a doctor’s appointment that angry unless something went wrong. You didn’t…like, find out you have cancer, did you?” 

Eddie turns to face Buck as he stands in between the living room and the kitchen. His anger falters for a moment at the sheer panic that has clearly settled onto Buck’s face.

“No, no of course not.” 

Though, was what he was told really so different? 

“Then what? Whatever it is, we can get through it together.” 

Eddie scrubs his hands over his face, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. Out of every possibility that could be running through Buck’s brain, Eddie knows that this one isn’t one of them. They had talked about it before, but Eddie hadn’t bled in over a decade, so he assumed the likelihood of it happening would be slim to none. 

The walls suddenly feel closer than they had before, his lungs smaller. He doesn’t want to tell him, doesn’t want to put everything they’ve built together at risk. Seven years of friendship, and they’ve only been together romantically for a little over a year. Having another kid was never even a conversation, and Eddie liked it that way. He loves the life he built, and he wants to protect it even from himself. All he wants is some time to think, to decide without anyone even having to find out.

But then there’s this wrench; this big hearted, blue-eyed wrench in that plan. Up until now, they confided everything in each other, leaned on each other. Buck is the only one that knows that Edmundo Diaz was not born Edmundo Diaz, and until about an hour ago that was the way it was going to stay until he died. 

Eddie’s hands settle on his hips, and he hangs his head, “I can’t do this with you right now, Buck.” 

That minute pinch of his brow and slight head tilt, “Wha…why not? Eddie, you’re starting to scare me.” 

“I just need some time. I don’t want to talk about it.” 

Buck takes a couple steps closer, “If this was anything else, I’d give you some space. But Eds, I can’t have you shutting down over whatever this is. It’s clearly medical and I’m not willing to let you wallow and spiral here. We’re partners, you can trust me.” 

There’s a stinging in the corner of Eddie’s eyes, and he quickly blinks it away, “I know that, but this is…it’s different.” 

Another step, “Different? Different how? We’ve been through hell and back. What could possibly be so bad you can’t talk about it?” 

A familiar itch of irritation sparks in Eddie’s chest, “Something that can be worried about later.” 

Buck makes a sound from the back of his throat, “Clearly not if it’s got you acting like this.” 

“Drop it, Buck.” 

“No. What is going on with you?” 

“I mean it.” 

“Well so do I!” Buck’s voice has risen now, “I’m not going to stand by while the man I love is sick or worse just because he’s being stubborn!” 

“I’m pregnant!”

The room fell into an immediate silence. Eddie yelled the words, and his own voice was now echoing in his skull. Buck’s expression goes slack, as does the rest of his body.

“What?” 

“I know damn well you heard me I’m not saying it again.” 

“But how, I thought-”

“I thought so too.” 

Buck looks off to the side, running a hand through his hair. Eddie’s heart is pounding in his chest, and his head feels like it’s full of air and lead at the same time. It’s not that Eddie exactly feared Buck’s reaction, he knows Buck better than anyone, and as a result he knows that he would never leave him over something like this, nor would he shame him in any way. However, there is always that niggling fear that this could be the one thing that makes Buck blow up at him, the one thing to make him walk out. In all of Buck’s wildly varying sex life, this has never happened (as far as anyone knows, anyway). It’s terrifying. 

“Well, at least it’s not cancer.” 

Eddie heaves a sigh, and he has to seriously fight back a hysterical laugh, “Seriously?” 

Buck holds his hands up, “Sorry, sorry. I just, I don’t know what to say.” 

“That’s a first.” 

Buck shoots him a look, but it’s dampened by the slight smile he’s wearing. 

“But it’s not a bad thing, is it?” Buck asks.

Eddie crosses his arms tightly over his chest, “Do you want my honest opinion?” 

“Always.” 

“I certainly don’t think it’s a good thing.” 

Another slight head tilt, “Why not? I mean, with how slim the chances were, this kind of feels like the universe is trying to tell us something.” 

Eddie points at Buck, “Don’t start that, not with this.” 

Eddie refuses to believe this was “meant” to happen. This was simply cause and effect, they played stupid games and they won this stupid prize. He should’ve known better, shouldn’t have gotten so complacent and trusting of his luck on chance. 

They’re both silent for a moment, and Eddie tightens his arms around his chest, “I have to make a decision quickly, though. I’m gonna be bumping against the ceiling for what’s legal if I don’t keep it.” 

Buck’s expression changes then, though it’s just another veil of confusion, “Wait, why wouldn’t you keep it? Also how far along are you?”

Eddie hums, “About four months? That’s the estimate based on the blood work, anyway. And of course that’s an option, Buck. I can’t be pregnant, not in this job and especially not in front of our family and friends.”

One of the many nightmares in the rotation of Eddie’s mind is people finding out he’s trans. It’s been so nice for people to know him for who he really is, not looking through him to see if they can still see Helena and Ramon’s eldest daughter. Chris was too young to remember Eddie as anything other than Dad, and he wants it to stay that way. He loves and trusts the 118, but this is something he wants to keep for himself, this one thing. At the firehouse he’s Edmundo Diaz, firefighter, father, and partner, nothing else. 

Buck knows all of this, of course. The moment Buck found out was the best and worst feeling in the world. He was afraid of that change, of an irreparable shift in their dynamic. When that didn’t happen, he suddenly felt a hundred pounds lighter at not being the only person with that information, to know that there was someone in the world who knew the truth and loved him anyway. It wasn’t a first, but it was damn close.

That sick feeling starts swirling in his chest and stomach again, and he can’t meet Buck’s eyes anymore.

“I just, I can’t. I don’t…”

A hand grips his shoulder, “Eddie. Give yourself a minute, to breathe, and to think. You found out what, half an hour ago? Let’s take a break and then we can think this through.” 

Eddie looks up at Buck, and once again he feels an overwhelming sense of affection for the man in front of him. Buck, ever full of good advice for him. So Eddie nods, and allows himself to be steered towards the couch. They sit, and Buck rubs between Eddie’s shoulder blades, firm but caring, and Eddie sways slightly with the ministrations. 

Eddie doesn’t know how long they sit like that for, Buck eventually getting up to get them both some water. 

They didn’t talk about it that night, Eddie grateful that Buck just let him mope against him while they watched movies and trashy television. When Chris got home from school, there was a tension in Eddie’s back that wouldn’t leave him, and he feared that Chris would see the constant line of sweat on Eddie’s brow. 

But Chris never said anything, and Buck easily took up conversation with him. After dinner and after Chris had retreated to his room, the two men ended back up on the couch, where they inevitably fell asleep. 

When Eddie woke, it was to hushed conversations in the kitchen. He had a pillow under his head and a blanket thrown over the top of him. He has no idea what time it is, but when Chris walks by to head out the front door, Eddie closes his eyes again, still not quite sure how to not look suspicious (even though Buck assured him that nothing is on that kid’s radar except school and the girls in that school). 

Buck comes out of the kitchen once the door closes behind their kid.

“What were you wanting for breakfast?” 

Buck’s voice was lowered, and Eddie sighs, cracking his eyes open.

“I’m not hungry.” 

Buck walks over, steps light as he sits on the edge of the coffee table, looking at Eddie with those bright blue eyes. 

“You have to eat something, Eds.” 

Eddie groans as he sits up, scrubbing his hand over his face.

When Eddie doesn’t say anything, Buck puts on a fake air of flippancy, “Well, we can talk about what we're going to do about the whole…”

“I’ll take some toast.” 

A small smile, “Atta boy.” 

Buck bounces up, making his way to the kitchen with Eddie following slowly behind. It’s strange, now that Eddie knows what’s going on in his body he suddenly becomes hyper aware of it, noticing the different shifts and slight pains. 

Buck has already started on the toast, and he looks over his shoulder at Eddie, “You know, we are going to have to talk about it eventually.” 

“Breakfast first.” 

Eddie’s stalling, and they both know that. Not talking about it isn’t going to make it go away, but he would like one more morning where he doesn’t have to face his new reality. 

And for the most part, that’s what he gets. Buck talks about some trouble his niece and nephew have gotten into lately, and Eddie just lets himself get lost in the sound of Buck’s voice.

But no matter how slowly Eddie eats, he is eventually left with crumbs on the plate, and Buck quickly swipes both of their plates and dumps them in the sink.

Once he finishes that he turns, hands behind his back and swaying on his feet, “So…”

Eddie sighs, folding his hands on top of the table, “Let's get this over with.”

Buck straightens, clapping his hands together before gesturing to Eddie with them, “Well first of all, how are you feeling right now?”

Eddie gives a half shrug, “Fine, I guess.” 

“Okay, now I know your biggest reason for not wanting to do this is for fear of everyone finding out about the whole, trans thing, which is a valid concern, but what are some others you have about it?” 

Eddie’s fingers drum against the back of his hand, “Well, work, for one. I don’t want to take off work, and I don’t want to go on paternity leave for several months afterwards.”

“But you’re not worried about job security, are you?”

“No, at least not as long as Bobby is captain.” 

Buck nods, “Right. But Eds, if we go through with this, you can’t exactly keep running into burning buildings and scaling high rises.”

Eddie points at Buck, “And that is the next reason. I don’t need or want you treating me like I’m suddenly made of glass just because of this.” 

Eddie gestured loosely to his middle, and Buck’s shoulders deflate some, “Eddie-”

“No, if we do end up keeping it, you can’t do that to me. I know me well enough to know when to pull back.”

Sheepishly, Buck draws his brows together, his eyes slightly squinted, “Do you?”

Eddie squints back, “I’ve gotten better.”

Buck clicks his tongue, but he leans back against the counter, “Anything else?”

“It’s a major disruption of the flow of our lives. And how is Christopher going to feel about it? I don’t want to do it if it’s going to upset him.” 

It was one of the first thoughts that shot through his mind when he found out; what would Christopher think? What would he have to say? It’s something that has plagued him since that dreaded moment not even twenty-four hours ago.

But Buck just shrugs, “Honestly? I think he wouldn’t mind having some attention off of him. He’s growing up, and he wants more independence. What better way to get it than sneaking under our radar while we’re busy and sleep deprived?” 

Eddie raises a brow, “Do you think you’re helping when you say that?” 

“I’m just saying.”

And, oddly enough, Eddie thinks Buck has a point. Chris has been against Eddie when he does things he’s ‘not supposed to do’ (emotionally cheating on your then-girlfriend being one of them). But Eddie and Buck are in a committed, one-year long relationship, and while Eddie had every intention of marrying the man, having a baby with him comes out of left field for him. But it’s Buck, and he loves kids, and maybe that step is one people, including Chris, would expect them to take. Maybe not in this way, but still.

“Now that we’ve gone through the cons, do you have any pros you want to throw out there?” Buck asks.

Eddie leans back in his chair, thinking. It’s not something he even thought about, his brain constantly inundated with the worst scenarios he could come up with. But there seems to be this block, and Eddie can’t form any coherent thoughts about what good might come from this. 

Apparently sensing this, Buck straightens, “Here, I’ll go first.”

Eddie gestures for him to continue, “I think it’ll be nice to get to go through the whole experience with you, from start to finish. Building on to our family together.”

Eddie raises a brow, “What, starting at age seven wasn’t early enough for you?”

Buck rolls his eyes, “Of course it was. And if it was just you, me, and Chris for the rest of our days, I would be over the moon about it. But I dunno, it might be nice to create life and then get to see it through.”

Eddie softens a bit at that. Eddie really does feel bad for Buck, those friends he helped kind of dropped off the face of the Earth again after the baby was born. And Eddie gets it, you have a kid, your life gets even busier, but the kid is several years old by now, and yet they have yet to reach back out to him (save for the yearly Christmas cards he no longer gets since they don’t seem to know Buck moved out of the loft ages ago). Buck doesn’t think of it often, but Eddie knows deep down it still kind of irks him. 

That point alone has Eddie rethinking his initial approach. This wasn’t something that could have happened on his own, they both were involved, they made it together. That was enough to bring a warm, heavy sensation to his chest. 

“Hey, no, don’t just decide to go through with this because I want to. You brought up very good points against it. Why would Eddie Diaz want to go through with this?”

Maybe they do spend too much time together.

“Well, like you said it would be nice to build something together. And getting to go through this experience with a bit more experience where I don’t feel like some scared kid who doesn’t know what he’s doing. That would be nice. Plus, I always thought Chris would like to have a sibling, though after he hit age ten I figured that was never actually going to happen.”

The one Eddie doesn’t say though, is the guilt of termination, especially this far in. Eddie was all for doing whatever you want with your body, but that always seemed to apply to everyone but himself. He knows the claws of the church are still burrowed deep in his brain despite his conscious efforts to shake them loose. So even if he resolved himself to terminate this pregnancy, made the appointment, and even went in, he knows there is an insanely high chance he panics moments before, not being able to go through with it. It would be upsetting for everyone involved, including Buck, and he wouldn’t want to take up a slot for someone who really needs it. 

So really, his mind has been made up since he found out, even if he didn’t want it to be, but he’s hoping Buck will help give him other reasons why.

“Would you want to do that? Raise a baby with me?” Buck asks, and the sincerity in his voice melts Eddie even further. He can’t help but smile at him.

“I think I would, Evan Buckley.”

There’s a slight jolt that goes through Buck, but Eddie sees his conscious efforts to tamp it down, as if he doesn’t want to spook him.

“Well, you think about it, and then let me know. Whatever you decide, I’ll be with you a hundred percent.” 

Eddie knows that, but he just hopes Eddie knows what Eddie is doing.

Eddie only let Buck be in suspense for about a day, saying that after some deep thought, he’s going to try and carry this pregnancy to term while they were doing dishes together. Buck immediately hoisted Eddie up in a bone-crushing hug, which he then quickly loosened at Eddie’s winded, ‘careful!’. Buck asked him a million times if he was sure, if this was really what he wanted. 

He said yes every time, but he hoped Buck didn’t pick up on the lack of conviction. It’s not that he didn’t want to, there’s a part of him that will always love being a dad, and the thought of having another kid running around, one he could be there for, one that looked like Buck (though, Christopher looks more like Buck’s kid than Eddie’s anyway), it fills him with a certain excitement. The problem, Eddie realized, is the time between now and their arrival. 

Something that was now staring them in the face as they made their way into work. 

Their hands were interlocked and resting on the center console when they pulled into the parking lot, and before Buck could get out of the car, Eddie tightened his hold, gently pulling Buck’s arm towards him to stop him.

“Hey, I need you to be normal about this, about me. Okay?”

Buck blinks at him, mouth opening and then closing before he speaks, “I mean yeah, obviously.”

Eddie levels him with a look, “I mean it, Buck. No trying to put me on the sidelines because of, of this.” 

Eddies gestures loosely to himself, and Buck squeezes his hand, “I promise.” 

Eddie gives him a small smile and a thanks before leaning over and kissing him quickly. They walked into work like they normally do, but now Eddie feels like if he so much as turns the wrong way, someone is going to notice. He isn’t showing, and he figures he won’t for a couple of weeks yet, but the fear lingers. 

The first person that greets them is Bobby, “Have a nice break?” 

The two look at each other, and Buck nods, “Yeah, I’d say we did.”

Bobby then looks at Eddie, “Everything get cleared up with the doc?” 

“Sure did.”

Bobby smiles, “Good. Glad to have you both back.”

They start to walk past him, but Eddie swears there was a flicker in the older man’s expression, one that Eddie clocked as suspicion. He hushedly brings it up with Buck while they get ready, but Buck just waves him off.

“Even if he did think something was up, he would never in a million years correctly guess what was going on.” 

That makes Eddie unclench some, and he tries to take some deep breaths before shift starts.

“So when can we start telling people?"

Eddie is standing in front of the mirror in the corner of their room, shirt off, staring down at his gut. Buck is laying back on the bed, his legs hanging over the edge of it, bouncing one of his feet between Eddie’s. 

“When it becomes impossible to hide.”

Buck props himself up on his elbows, brows furrowed. 

“That’s gotta be weeks and weeks away. Right now you just look like you had a big lunch.” 

It’s not terribly far off from how he actually feels. He’s felt bloated the past couple of weeks, but he figured it was something that would eventually work itself out. Guess not for another five months.

“Then I guess it’ll be weeks and weeks from now.”

Buck groans, flopping back onto the bed, but he doesn’t argue. For now, at least.

Buck had kept his word at work, even when they got called to a house fire and Cap had told the two of them to head inside to pull the family out, Buck didn’t say anything. He hovered more than he needed to, and he made extra sure that Eddie was feeling alright afterwards, but other than that he followed directions rather well. 

The room goes quiet, and Eddie places a hand over his barely extended belly. Fuck.

“Can I at least talk to Maddie?” 

Finally Eddie pulls his eyes away from the mirror and turns towards Buck, “No.”

Now Buck sits all the way up, looking up at Eddie with those wide, pleading eyes.

“Come on Eds, this is exciting news! I can’t just keep it to myself forever.”

Eddie turns all the way around, stepping into Buck’s space, “Buck, she’s married to the world’s worst secret keeper, no way am I breathing word of this into that house.” 

Buck’s hands go to Eddie’s waist, “I’ll take her somewhere where it can be just the two of us. And while yes, Chimney is really bad at keeping secrets, Maddie is the best secret keeper there is. She kept the fact I had a brother from me for twenty-nine years, that’s gotta be worth something.” 

Eddie sighs, running a hand through Buck’s hair. He trusts Buck, and despite how little Eddie and Maddie have actually interacted, he trusts her too. And Eddie has to remind himself that while this isn’t his first pregnancy, it is Buck’s (kinda). He has counted on his sister all these years, and Eddie doesn’t want to be the one that cuts him off from that support. 

He sighs, his hand tightening slightly in Buck’s hair, “Fine, but you go out of earshot of everyone. Including Jee.” 

The stress will be worth it just to see the blinding smile Buck flashes him, “You got it.” 

He then tugs Eddie’s hips a bit, pressing a number of kisses into Eddie’s stomach before having his head pulled back. 

“Alright, alright, that’s enough.” 

But Eddie was smiling, and so was Buck, and once again Eddie feels like maybe everything is going to be okay.

It isn’t often that Buck calls her during work, but everytime he does, it sends a small jolt of panic through her. Part of it is probably because every phone call she receives while she’s sat at that desk is some kind of emergency so her brain is wired to think that is the only reason people would call her on the clock. The other part of it is because what on earth could she help him with that no one in a firehouse can in the middle of the day?

So when his name flashes across her screen, she happens to be in between calls, so she shuts off her line so she can snatch her phone from her desk. (It’s supposed to be face down and on silent unless she takes a break, but Robbie has a new sitter and she wants to be available). 

She takes out her earpiece as she swipes across her screen to answer, standing as she presses the phone to her ear.

“Hey Buck, everything okay?” 

“Hey, uh yeah, yeah, everything is fine. I uh, just needed to talk to you real quick.”

Despite him saying everything is fine, Maddie has her hackles up due to the tone of his voice, “Are you sure? You sound…frazzled.”

“Everything is fine, no one is dying or sick or anything. I just, what are you doing tonight?” 

Maddie huddles in the corner of the breakroom, “Well, I was planning on making dinner for my family, but did you have something else in mind?”

“Do you think I could just pick you up from work and we could drive around a bit?”

“Sure, but Evan what is this about?”

“Nothing bad, I promise. I’ll see you when you’re off.”

And just like that, he hangs up. Maddie looks down at her phone with a slight frown. That was weird, right? 

She spends the rest of her shift on pins and needles, the almost out of breath nature to Buck’s words as if he couldn’t get them out fast enough making her uneasy. It didn’t sound like he was prepping her for bad news, but it didn’t exactly sound like it was good news either. What kind of news that isn’t good or bad requires a sit down?

Just as she was clearing up her space she gets a text from Buck that he’s outside, and with her own jitters texts him that she’s on her way down. When she approaches the Jeep, Buck is drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, his eyes wide as she approaches. 

When she climbs inside, Buck already has his hand settled on the gear shift. 

As soon as the door is shut she says, “So, what is this all about?” 

Buck shifts the car in drive and starts to pull out of the parking lot, “Well, it’s about me and Eddie.” 

Another pang of worry goes through her. Bad news route: they broke up. Good news route: Buck wants to ask him to marry him. 

Caution laces her voice as she says, “Okay, what about you and Eddie?” 

Buck takes a breath and a moment, eyes locked forward on the road. His voice is slightly wobbly as he says, “We’re expecting.” 

It takes Maddie’s brain a moment to put the words to their meaning, but when she does, she sits up straighter with a gasp.

“You’re kidding! Congratulations!” 

Her first instinct is to squeeze him somehow, but for both of their safeties she refrains. Some of the tension drops from his shoulders, and he lets out a breath with a smile. 

Maddie continues, “That is so exciting for you guys. Why now though? I thought you guys would get married before doing any of that stuff.”

She also didn’t think the two of them would ever have any more kids. They had Christopher, who was well into his teen years, so adding another kid into the equation wasn’t something that was on her radar for them.

Some of the tension from before returns to Buck’s shoulders, “You weren’t married when you guys had Jee.” 

“I love Jee more than anything but she was an accident, Buck. That’s not exactly the same thing.” 

There’s a moment of silence, and for some reason it feels tense. She tries to return the happy vibe to the car.

“Regardless, I really am happy for you two.” She flashes him a smile, but his eyes are still locked forward. She tries again, “So what method are you guys using? Adoption? Surrogate?”

Buck sinks his teeth into his lower lip, and Maddie’s smile drops a bit, “Did one get dropped off at the station or something?”

Buck clears his throat, “No, no. We’re uh, doing things the old fashioned way.”

Suddenly Maddie’s brain comes to a screeching halt. What the hell is that supposed to mean? 

Then her stomach drops. No way.

“Evan Buckley I swear to god if either one of you stepped out-”

“What? Maddie no. Neither of us cheated on each other, Jesus Christ.” 

“Then what, Buck? You’re not leaving me with a whole lot of options here.” 

They’re at a stop light, and Buck’s eyes are squeezed closed as he blurts, “Eddie is pregnant.” 

Once again the car is silent, the space being filled with the slight rumble of the car as the light turns green but the car doesn’t move. Someone behind them honks, startling Buck back into motion. 

“That’s not funny.” 

“Do I look like I’m laughing?” 

More silence, and Maddie feels like she’s slipped into an alternate dimension. What her brother said makes no sense. Eddie Diaz of El Paso, Texas can’t be pregnant because that’s not possible as far as she is aware. Unless one of their calls altered their biology in some way, that’s not possible.

“How in the hell-”

“Eddie is trans, and we were stupid and now Eddie is four months pregnant.” 

Maddie’s first thought was that Buck should have led with that sentence instead of the two words he threw in her face. Her second thought was ‘oh my god my brother just outed his partner without his partner present’. And her third and final thought was ‘oh my god my brother is having a baby’. 

“Does Eddie know you’re telling me this?”

“I wouldn’t have said anything if he didn’t okay it, you know that.” 

She does. 

Maddie sits back fully in her seat, trying to process the information she’s been given. Maddie doesn’t know a whole lot about trans people, just the basics and that she’s probably run into more of them than she realized. But being told that Eddie has been this entire time, she can’t quite get her brain around it. 

“I would have never realized.” 

Buck’s eyes flick over to her before resettling on the road, “And that’s exactly the way he likes it.” Buck then also droops in his seat, “And I’ve ruined it.”

Maddie’s head whips around, this time placing her hand on Buck’s shoulder, “Hey, no, don’t do that. You guys both made choices to get to this point. Eddie, I’m assuming, made the decision to continue carrying knowing what would happen. He’s capable of choosing things for himself.”

Buck looks over at her, and she can see the conflicting emotions there. Buck is an incredibly kind person, and Maddie knows that the last thing he would ever do is hurt Eddie on purpose. But then Buck is looking back at the road, slowly nodding.

“Yeah, okay.”

She gives his shoulder one last pat before returning it to her lap. Eddie will always be Eddie, now she just knows he has more…capabilities than she realized. 

“Now that that’s out of the way, I want to talk more about you being a dad. Well, dad to a baby since that’s the new part. Do you guys know the gender yet?”

That signature Buck smile returns to his face, “Ah, no. Eddie goes in for his first ultrasound later this week.” 

“Do you guys have any names picked out?”

“Not yet.” 

“Okay what about the nursery? You guys are kind of limited on space in that house.”

“We haven’t talked about that either.”

“Have you guys talked about anything?” 

Buck’s fingers tap against the top of the wheel a bit, “Not, not really. He’s a bit weird about the whole thing, actually. Which I understand! It’s only been a couple of days since we found out ourselves, he needs the time to adjust.”

Maddie can understand that. She’s been pregnant twice now, so she knows how weird and disconnected your body can feel. She imagined it went extra for Eddie.

“Well you let me know when you figure these things out.”

Buck nods, “I will. Oh, also you have to promise me you won’t tell anyone at all, especially not Chim.”

“I promise.” 

“Awesome. I’ll uh, take you back to your car now.”

 

Dad and Buck are hiding something. They think Christopher hasn’t noticed, but they use the same tactics they did when he was seven, those of which definitely don’t work on him now. They’ve both been acting unusually, but Dad especially has, and Christopher can just tell that something is wrong. His patience has thinned, and if they’re not eating dinner he’s holed up in his room, never really hanging out in the living room anymore. He also keeps rushing through conversations in a way Christopher has never experienced. 

His suspicions were proved correct when Buck sits him down in the living room, Dad sitting hunched over on the coffee table with his hands clasped between his knees, his leg bouncing. He’s staring at the cushions, and he refuses to look up at Chris. That can’t be good.

Buck places a hand on the back of Dad’s neck, but it doesn’t stop the leg bouncing. 

“Chris, you’re okay with your dad and I being together, right?” Buck asks.

Chris furrows his brows, “Yeah? I thought we already had this conversation.” 

Dad looks like he’s going to be sick, and Buck just squeezes the back of his neck as he slowly nods, “We have, but it doesn’t hurt to check in.” 

Chris nods, unsure of where this is going, and Buck takes a breath. 

“New question for you, how would you feel about having a sibling?” 

That one gives Christopher pause. It’s not something he’s given a whole lot of thought, he knows Ana had mentioned off handedly once about wanting to have a baby someday, and that didn’t exactly bother him. It would be…interesting. Denny used to be an only child and now has a sister, and while she annoys him sometimes, he seems to enjoy it. 

“It wouldn’t be the worst thing.” 

“Would it upset you?” Buck asks. 

Chris shakes his head, “I don’t think so. It might be kind of nice to have someone to hang out with in the house that isn’t you guys. No offense.” 

Buck cracks a smile at that, but Dad does not.

“Okay, but what if the new sibling was a baby?” 

Chris doesn’t exactly have a lot of experience with babies, and he doesn’t really feel strongly about them one way or another. They’re there, but he’s never had the desire to hold one let alone have one live in his house. 

Chris shrugs, “I mean, it would be slightly less exciting but you guys can do what you want.” 

Chris is almost startled when he hears his dad’s voice, a bit more gravelly than usual, “You live here, Chris, we want to make sure this is something you’d be okay with.” 

He still hasn’t looked away from the spot he’s been staring at, and Chris  just nods, “I’d be okay with it, as long as I’m not gonna have to be in charge of it.” 

Buck is still smiling a little when he speaks, “No, you don’t have to worry about that part.” 

Chris looks between them, “So I’m assuming you guys are going to bring home a baby? Is that what this is all about?” 

Buck visibly swallows, “Yeah, about that, Eddie did you-”

Suddenly Dad pops up, quickly rounding the coffee table (and nearly busting his shin on it) and half speed walks half jogs into the kitchen before retching into the sink. Buck up wastes no time going after him. Chris can’t see the sink from the couch, but he can hear the water running, and his dad gagging undercurrented by Buck’s gentle but unintelligible platitudes. He’s not exactly sure what he should do now. It was clear that the conversation wasn’t over yet, but he’s not sure how long they expect him to wait for. 

He waits for a handful of minutes before Buck pops his head out.

“Hey, do you think you can come in here for us?”

Chris nods, and makes his way into the kitchen. He sits at the table, and there’s a sort of tension he can feel in his chest at seeing his dad hovering over the sink, his arms shaking as they hold his weight. It’s not the worst state he’s ever seen his father in, but in the back of his mind he’s hoping this isn’t the beginning of a spiral. 

Eventually Dad turns to face Christopher, and he still avoids complete eye contact as he apologizes. 

Chris half shrugs, “It’s alright.”

For a long moment the only thing Chris could hear was the hum of the fridge, until Buck shuffles where he’s standing, looking up at Dad almost sheepishly, “Eddie did you want to be the one to…”

Dad nods, and that’s when he finally looks Chris in the eye. He takes a few deep breaths through his nose before speaking, “Yes, Chris, we are having a baby. But it’s because I’m, we, I…Christopher you’re fourteen and are on the internet, so you know what transgender people are, right?” 

Chris shoots a look at Buck, hoping he is as confused at the change of topic as he is. But Buck’s expression hasn’t changed, so Chris answers.

“Uh, yeah? Why?” 

One more deep breath in through his nose and out his mouth, his eyes shut tight for a moment before refocusing on Chris, “Because I am one of those people.” 

Is he dreaming right now? Or maybe he’s having a stroke at an extremely young age because the lines of conversation are simply not matching up.

“Cool? What does this have to do with a baby?” 

Dad sighs, and he has the gall to look halfway annoyed, “Chris, I’m carrying the baby. I used, I haven’t always looked like this.” 

Not a single thought passes through Christopher’s brain, the world freezing around him.

“What?” 

“Your dad is pregnant, Christopher.” 

Buck said it with all the seriousness Chris has ever heard from him, aside from maybe when his dad was shot. They seem to be treating it with the same gravity, so Christopher has no idea how he is supposed to react. So instead he resorts to his knee jerk reaction.

“Why did you never tell me?” 

Somehow Dad’s expression drops further, “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to confuse you, and it wasn’t something you needed to know. No one needed to know.”

“Who else knows?”

Chris’s voice was harder than he meant it to be, but there was that familiar bubble of irritation aimed at Dad. Chris was always finding out about these things later, or after the fact, after he can’t hide it anymore. Why couldn’t his dad just be honest with him? Did he not trust him?

Dad crosses his arms across his chest, leaning his lower back against the sink, “Buck’s the only one that knew, and that was only a year ago.”

“And you’re…”

“Yeah.” 

Dad’s voice was tight, and Chris can see a new shine to his eyes as he looks up at the ceiling. 

“Where is it going to sleep?”

Dad snorts, and Buck chuckles, “We dunno yet, but we’ll figure it out.” Buck says.

There’s a quick pause before Buck speaks again, “Did you have any questions for us?”

In all honesty, the situation was weird, and Chris was old enough to put two and two together, and the last thing he wanted to do was even think about it let alone talk it out with them. So he shakes his head, and departs with claims of needing to finish homework. 

Bobby would be lying if he said he hadn’t been waiting for Buck and Eddie to get together. He had never seen two people (aside from himself and Athena of course) more in sync with one another, easily and perfectly folding the other into their life until you simply couldn’t have one without the other. And now that it has happened, things really continue as they always have, if not for the lingering touches and openness about their relationship. They’ve stayed professional and respectful (except for the time they were caught in the bunk room, poor Chim), and Bobby couldn’t be happier for them. 

He knew they were protective of each other anyway, but after Eddie had to get checked out, Bobby noticed a slight shift in their behavior. Nothing concerning, nothing that really made it more than a passing thought, but Bobby would like it known that he did notice. 

But it still surprised him when they returned from a fairly simple medical call and he was approached by Buck and Eddie.

“Hey Cap, can we talk for a minute?” Buck asks.

Bobby turns to face them fully, hands on his hips, “Sure thing.”

“Privately.” Eddie clarifies. Bobby looks between them, as if he could see the shared thoughts bouncing between their heads. When that doesn’t work he nods, gesturing with his head for them to follow him to his office. 

Once the door is closed behind the three of them, Bobby looks at his desk.

“Should I sit for this?”

Eddie nods, “Probably.”

So Bobby does, and the two other firefighters take up the chairs on the other side of the desk. Bobby folds his hands on top of the wood, looking between them expectantly. 

“Well?”

They look at each other, clearly having some sort of silent conversation. Eventually Eddie sighs, and turns his attention to Bobby.

“I have a couple of questions about paternity policies.” 

Bobby blinks, “Okay, am I allowed to ask why?” 

“I just need to know.” 

“Well it depends, for adoption it usually-”

“How long is paternity leave?” 

Bobby furrows his brows slightly at Eddie, that level of impatience not typical for him. 

“Twelve weeks.” 

Eddie nods, and Bobby could practically see his wheels turning. 

He’s looking away from Bobby when he speaks next, “What is the usual protocol for pregnant employees?” 

Once he was finished speaking he looks back at his captain, but the crease between Bobby’s brows only deepens, “Eddie, this line of questioning has nothing to do with either of you so I’m not going to-”

“Just answer my question!” Eddie snaps.

He didn’t yell, but his tone was harsh and biting. Buck sits up straighter in his seat, putting a hand on Eddie’s arm.

“Bobby, can you please tell us the protocol for pregnant firefighters.” Buck says, his hand staying on Eddie’s arm. 

It’s been a while since Eddie has snapped at him, or anyone in the 118, like that. Something about this whole situation seemed off, and that’s if he was going by the nature of the conversation alone.

“Well, as it’s not a prevalent issue we actually don’t have anything specific on the books. As of now it’s on a case by case basis. Now will you please tell me what this is about?” 

Eddie ignores his last question, “So if a hypothetical pregnant firefighter came to you and said, I’m pregnant but I intend to keep working until told I am unfit and unable to by a medical professional, what would you say?” 

Ignoring his annoyance at Eddie’s impatience, Bobby answers, “I would say thank you for letting me know, and I would like some continued proof that you are attending regular appointments.”

Seemingly pleased with that Eddie nods slowly, looks at Buck, and then stands, turning back to Bobby, “Well Cap, I’m pregnant but I intend to keep working until I am told I am unfit and unable to by a medical professional.” 

Buck puts his head in his hands, and Bobby could feel the hinges of his jaw loosen, but he refrains from letting his mouth fall open. Instead, he finds his voice long enough to say a simple, “What?” 

“I’m pregnant.” 

“Yeah I heard that part. You do realize April first has come and gone, right?” 

There’s a slight twinge in one of Eddie’s cheek muscles, before the man gives him an exaggerated closed mouth smile, his nose scrunching, “I do. But despite that I’m still pregnant and I’m going back to work now until my doctor tells me otherwise.”

With that, Eddie leaves, and Buck still hasn’t taken his head out of his hands.

Bobby lets the silence sit for a while before he turns his attention to Buck.

“Do you want to tell me what that was about?” 

Buck sighs, dropping his hands and sitting up straight, “It’s exactly what he said.” 

“Buck, Eddie is-”

“Trans.”

Bobby knows it technically isn’t any of his business, but for some reason he feels like he should’ve been told, or he should’ve been able to put it together somehow. 

“He didn’t want anyone to know.”

Buck’s voice is slightly monotone, and Bobby wonders how many times he’s had to tell people that exact line. Bobby sighs. 

“You know, I’ve come to expect the unexpected from you but I gotta say, getting your boyfriend pregnant is a new one.” 

Immediately color rises to Buck’s cheeks, and he splutters, “Bobby!” 

Bobby couldn’t help but smile at Buck’s reaction, but he tries to rein it in at seeing the genuine distress on Buck’s face, “Sorry, sorry.”

Buck relaxes back in the seat, though the tension in his body remains. Bobby looks towards the door, “Is he always like that about this?”

Buck presses a thumb into the center of his opposite palm, “I think having other people know is upsetting him.” Buck sits up straighter when he sees Bobby raise a brow, “But he’s not like that when it’s just the two of us! He’s excited, he just wishes it could be done a different way.”

Bobby nods, “Yeah well, I’ve heard it can be pretty dysphoric for some. How has he been handling the changes?” 

“Fine? Not great by any means, I keep catching him staring at himself in the mirror with this weird look on his face.”

It’s been a while in all Bobby’s years as a firefighter and as a firefighter captain that he has experienced a 100% new problem. Not that he would necessarily define this as a problem, but it’s clearly causing both of his men some grief. Putting aside the new revelations, Bobby shifts his focus to the base of the issue. 

“But how are you feeling about all of this? I know Eddie didn’t do this on his own.” 

That deep coloring returns to Buck’s cheeks, and he clears his throat as he adjusts in his chair, “Uh good, yeah I feel good. Great, actually. I’m,” Buck smiles, “I’m very excited.”

Bobby gives Buck his own small smile, “Well that’s good, you should be.”

Buck then is suddenly leaning forward in his seat, “You know, we had our first ultrasound the other day.”

His excitement is infectious, and it stirs something in him, something he had forgotten about. 

“How far along are you guys?”

“About nineteen weeks.” 

Bobby leans back in his chair, his brows shooting up, “Oh wow. Can’t have been easy to keep this to yourself for that long.”

Now Buck’s excitement falters a bit, “We uh, found out like two weeks ago.” 

Ah. 

Bobby wants to ask, wants to pry into how something like that could go unnoticed for so long, but Bobby knows that it isn’t impossible for someone to make it the whole nine months and have no idea. He wants to ask about how, then, did they find out if the first fourish months went unnoticed. But at the end of the day it’s none of his business, as long as they’re happy and healthy, that’s what he’s going to focus on. 

Buck puts his hands on his thighs, “I should probably go check on him.” 

Bobby puts a hand on his desk, “Actually, Buck, do you think I could talk to him first?” 

Buck freezes his motion to stand, “Uh, sure. Yeah go ahead.” 

Buck follows Bobby out of his office, and Bobby spots Eddie wiping down the side of one of the engines. Subconsciously, Bobby’s eyes flick to Eddie’s stomach, noticing the barely there protrusion. If Bobby hadn’t been told, it definitely wouldn’t have been something he noticed or thought twice about. Eddie keeps his attention on the task in front of him, even as Bobby is close enough to touch him. 

“Diaz, walk with me for a second.” 

Eddie looks at him, and then looks past him.

“I sent Buck to do the dishes. Come on, kid.” 

With a small sigh, Eddie drops the rag he was holding and follows Bobby outside. Bobby squints when the sun hits his face, and despite having the doors open, it feels nice to be out where you can really feel the breeze. Eddie strolls out after him, deceptively loose, hands shoved in his pockets. They walk along the side of the building until they’re about half way down, any eavesdroppers will be noticed before they’re able to hear anything.

“You didn’t let me respond earlier.” 

Eddie squints against the sun as he looks at Bobby, “I know, I’m sorry.”

“I talked to Buck a little after you left. He seems excited.” 

That got Eddie to crack a bit of a smile, “He is.” 

“He says you shared that sentiment, and forgive me, but I have a hard time believing that.” 

Eddie swallows and looks off to the side, “I do.” 

Bobby shifts some to try and get into Eddie’s line of sight again, but doesn’t succeed, “Are you sure? I want you to be honest with me here. Don’t think about Buck, or anyone else, what does Eddie want?”

Eddie is silent for a while. Bobby doesn’t push him to speak, wanting him to take all the time he needs. He again wonders how often he gets to sit and think about himself , if he ever does. He’s a member of the 118, it seems to be a symptom of this firehouse to constantly put others over yourself.

“I want this baby.” Eddie says, and Bobby is surprised by how watery the words come out, “But I hate what it’s doing to my body. I hate that I have to come out all over again because of it.”

There’s a harsh sniffle, and the sun catches on a tear rushing down Eddie’s face, “I’ve had to come off my testosterone, and I just don’t recognize myself anymore. I’ve only known for such a short amount of time but it’s like I can slowly feel myself slipping away and I hate it.” 

Eddie then brings up one hand to quickly wipe at the moisture on his face. 

“Is all of that worth it?” 

Eddie looks over at Bobby, expression startled, and he blinks, another tear rolling down his cheek.

“I think so.” 

Bobby raises a brow and his expression hardened, “You think so or you know so? This isn’t something you can half-ass, Eddie.”

Eddie straightens, his jaw tightening as he looks Bobby in the eye for the first time since they started this conversation. Bobby has learned that Eddie had a tendency to shut down and retreat when there was too much focus on his emotions, so he tried to take more factual approaches to a distressed Eddie Diaz. 

Eddie opens his mouth to speak, but then his chin wobbles, and he snaps his mouth closed hard enough that Bobby could hear his teeth clack. He closes his eyes and hangs his head, and Bobby sees his shaking shoulders before he hears his choked back sobs.

Tentatively, Bobby reaches forward, one hand on his shoulder, and when that doesn’t get shaken off Bobby pulls Eddie into him. Eddie keeps his arms wrapped around himself, but rests his forehead against Bobby’s shoulder. 

Bobby is silent as he holds him, just lets him empty his chest and head onto Bobby’s uniform. Bobby counts out two minutes by the time Eddie pulls back again, his eyes puffy and red rimmed now. He covers them with one hand, sniffling again.

“Feel better?” 

Eddie huffs a humorless laugh, “A little.”

“Good.” 

Eddie takes a shaky breath, and then drops his hands, looking at Bobby, “I do want this baby. I like being a dad, I like being a dad with Buck. I’m worried about the changes, but I know we’ll get through it together. That doesn’t mean it isn’t…overwhelming.” 

“That’s understandable. I’m sure you’re also not thrilled about the fact you’ll need to take a step back around here.” 

Eddie’s jaw tightens, “I’ve got a while yet before that happens.”

“Eddie…”

“I’m going to be responsible, I promise. I know what I’m doing.” 

Bobby knows he does, but that’s what he’s worried about. Eddie and Buck are the kind of people that take themselves right to the edge of what they (and everyone around them) can handle. The only thing keeping Bobby sane as their captain is the fact he has them on the same shift, keeping the other in check. Sometimes it wanders into overprotective territory, and that’s definitely a new concern Bobby has with this pregnancy, but if it brings everyone home at the end of the day, he’ll take it. 

“If you say so.”

Henrietta Wilson works with some of the smartest and dumbest people she’s ever met. They’re all very good at their jobs, and are insanely competent when they want to be. She’ll think about how lucky she is to get to work with this particular group, and then one of them will go and do something stupid that makes her wonder what she did to have to put up with this nonsense. 

It’s happening right now, though it isn’t so much a singular action as it is a continual pattern of behavior. Hen has decided, with her years of paramedic experience along with her medical school knowledge, that something is wrong with Eddie. She noticed small changes in his demeanor at first, lower energy, irregular mood swings and the like. He started avoiding the kitchen whenever someone was cooking, making faces at things Hen has seen him eat before. 

A couple more weeks go by, and that’s when she notices it; the weight gain. Or at the very least, the slightly altered weight distribution. She doesn't want to be rude, but she's noticed that Eddie has developed a bit of a gut. The rest of him appears relatively the same proportion, at least from what she can see (which isn't much, he's wearing a jacket almost constantly now). She has a theory or two about what his symptoms could mean, but she isn’t sure how to move forward from here. She’d like to bring it up with him as she has started to become concerned about his health. But Hen knows that Eddie takes pride in being in shape, and it’s clear he’s taking measures to cover himself up, so Hen figures it’s probably a sore subject for him. 

Regardless, if it’s something serious she wants to make sure he’s taking steps to keep himself healthy. Besides, she isn’t the only one who’s noticed. 

“Does Eddie look, different, to you?” 

Hen looks at Chim. He whispered the words to her while they plate the food, Eddie and Buck setting the table, Eddie clad in his zip up hoodie. 

“You’re talking about the extra weight in front, right?” 

“I’ve only caught glimpses between calls, but that’s weird, right?”

Hen sighs through her nose as she dumps the rest of the pan onto a plate, “I’ve been meaning to ask him about it, but I’m not sure how.” 

Chim takes the plate, “With how he’s been acting lately, he’d either bite your head off for asking or he might just have a breakdown about it.” 

Hen not so gently elbows Chim in the arm, the man squawking about nearly dropping the plate. 

When they sit down for lunch, Hen is wracking her brain to try and come up with a non-offensive way to point out the obvious. In the end, she decides a roundabout approach with other people to back her up would be best.

About halfway through the meal, after they’ve hit a lull in conversation, Hen clears her throat, poking at the chicken on her plate, “You know, given how stressful these last few weeks have been, I don’t think it would be a bad idea to do in house health checks. You know, just to make sure we didn’t miss anything since the doctors that perform ours see so many firefighters in a day.”

Immediately Hen notices Buck’s eyes quickly flick over to Eddie, but the man sitting across from Hen doesn’t so much as look up from his plate. 

“I think the routine ones are perfectly adequate, Hen.” Bobby says, and Hen shifts in her seat.

“I’m sure they are, but it can’t hurt. Besides, I would like to get in some practice that isn’t so intense.” 

Eddie looks up, and he makes eye contact with Hen for a moment before reaching for his cup, “You guys knock yourselves out, I visited the doctor not that long ago.” 

“I’d like to check over everyone.” 

Her voice was firm, though not harsh, but it still had Eddie looking up at her, his eyes slightly narrowed. 

“Why are you so insistent?” 

Hen shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant, “I just think it would be good for everyone.”

Eddie puts down his fork, putting his forearms on the table and leaning forward on them, “If you have something to say you should just say it.”

“Alright, that’s enough.” Bobby interjects, but Eddie remains in his tense position. 

 Bobby continues, “Hen, we appreciate the concern, but we’ve got that covered.” 

Eddie slowly relaxes back in his chair as Hen gives Cap a tight smile, “Understood, Cap.”

And so it was dropped. Consequently, though, Eddie has started avoiding her, hunching over himself whenever he catches her looking at him for too long. He glued himself even more firmly to Buck, seeming to refuse to be alone for long enough for Hen to notice. 

But then they got called to a hoarders house. The place was filthy, and the only smell Hen’s brain could process was rot: of food, of wood, of god knows what else. The caller had gotten stuck in a back bedroom, too weak to pull themselves out of a pile they had tumbled into. They are all wearing masks, but it doesn’t negate the smell completely. They’re only a handful of steps into the house when Hen notices Eddie’s steps have faltered. The other three had gone up ahead, Hen and Eddie bringing up the rear. When she notices the slight sway of the man in front of her, she stops, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“You okay?” 

He looks at her, and nods rapidly, “Yeah, I’m fine. I just uh.”

She watches his throat bob a couple times, his eyes seeming glassy and far away. And then suddenly Eddie is ripping his mask off and puking in the hallway. He’s got his hands on his knees as he heaves, and Hen winces, but rubs his back as he empties his stomach. 

Eventually Eddie takes a shaky breath, which only triggers another round. Hen grabs him by the shoulders and guides him out into the fresh air outside. Eddie stumbles into the unkept yard and falls to his hands and knees, his body trying to force out whatever is left. He’s gasping after every retch, and Hen hurries to the truck to get her water bottle for him.

As she hops back down, her radio crackles by her head, “Hen, Eddie, where are you guys?”

Hen clicks her radio, “We’re outside, Cap.” 

“Well we need you inside.”

“Understood, I’ll be in in a second, but firefighter Diaz is gonna keep watch outside.” 

There’s an extra beat of silence before Bobby’s voice comes through again, “Is he okay?” 

“‘M fine.” Comes Eddie’s rough voice. Hen watches him spit into the grass. 

“Hen?” Bobby presses.

“He’s alright,” She says, putting the water bottle next to Eddie’s arm, “you just might want to watch your step on the way out.” 

They don’t ask her for clarification, so she refocuses on Eddie. He’s stopped puking, but his arms are shaking as they hold him up, and his breaths aren’t any steadier. 

She looks down at him, arms crossed and brow raised, “You want to tell me why that happened?” 

“Weak stomach.” 

Hen rolls her eyes, “Eddie Diaz does not have a weak stomach. Try again.” 

“Weak stomach because I caught something from Christopher.” 

Hen sighs, “The son excuse, a classic.” 

Eddie pushes himself back so he’s sitting on his haunches. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and he looks up at Hen with a frown, “What do you want me to say?” 

Hen throws her hands up, “The truth! I know this is not a one time thing, don’t insult my intelligence by insisting it is.” 

Eddie doesn’t say anything, just looks up at her helplessly. 

“Eddie,” Hen crouches down to get to his level, careful to stay away from the puddle of stomach acid he made, “I’m worried about you. You’re my teammate and friend and I’m not going to be able to rest knowing you’re in distress.” 

“I’m not in distress-”

“Eddie.” 

Her snappish tone shut him up, and his shoulders sag, his head lolling to the side.

“I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“But there is something.” 

A large sigh. “Yeah, there is.” 

“Does anyone else know?” 

“Buck and Bobby know.” 

Hen clicks her tongue, “No offense to either of them, but I would feel more comfortable if one of the paramedics knew what this something was. You know, just in case.” 

Eddie scoffs, smiling a bit, “I’m sure you would.” 

She’s glad to get him smiling a bit, especially since she was starting to worry about the sheer reluctance he had to be left alone with her. She’s curious, yes, but she genuinely is concerned for his wellbeing. Lord knows these men will do anything but take care of themselves (not that she’s any better but she can pretend she is).

A beat of silence, and then, “Eddie, whatever it is I promise we will all be here for you through it, and being honest is going to be better for everyone in the long run.” 

Eddie opens his mouth to speak, but is interrupted by Bobby’s voice, “Hen, we could use an extra set of hands in here.” 

“On my way, Cap.”

Hen slowly stands, looking at Eddie expectantly. He groans, looking around, seeming to insure that they really are alone out here. 

“I’m,” His next words get caught in his throat, so he closes his eyes and tries again, “I’m pregnant.” 

The second word came out a bit strained, as if his tongue was trying to keep it pinned behind his teeth. But those words clicked everything she had been observing about him into place, and as she slowly walks backwards towards the house, she just says, “Okay, see? Was that so hard?” 

Eddie twists his body when his head could no longer follow her, “That’s it? No shock, no calling me a liar, you just believe me?”

Hen frowns, “Who called you a liar?” 

Eddie waves a hand at her, “Just go before you get in trouble.”

She points at him, “We will be talking about this later.” 

He ignores her comment, so she fully turns and makes her way back inside. In all honesty, Hen was a bit shocked. She remembers thinking to herself that he was presenting with pregnancy symptoms, but it was just a random pop-up thought that she hardly gave any credence to given her assumptions of his biology. But it makes sense, and it clearly stresses him out, so the last thing Hen was going to do was have a big reaction. She’s a medic, and a professional, so she knows how to keep her reactions in check.

After they manage to get the homeowner out, they find Eddie standing next to the ambulance with the doors open. They load the guy onto the gurney, and just out of the corner of her eye Hen sees Buck grab Eddie’s bicep, quietly asking if he’s okay. 

Hen doesn’t miss the way Buck looms over Eddie’s shoulder when they return to the station, constantly talking low enough that no one else can hear. Eddie’s expression remains largely neutral, though Hen notices an especially annoyed eye roll as they make their way to the loft. 

Hen knows that Buck worries about Eddie normally, and that Eddie worries about Buck. It’s their thing, the duo that turns every task into a two man job since the beginning. She can only imagine the stress that Eddie being pregnant in this profession is putting on both of them. Which is part of why Hen is not satisfied with Eddie’s mumbled confession. 

So she eventually finds her own way to the loft, spotting Buck and Eddie sitting on the couch, pressed up against each other as they watch some random day-time talk show. Hen walks behind the couch, tapping Eddie on the shoulder. He drops his head back to look at her, the apprehension clear on his face.

“Can we talk?” 

Resigned, he says, “Yeah okay.”

He pushes himself up and off the couch, Buck giving him a small push, and then he looks at Hen, “Lead the way.” 

So she takes them back down the stairs and into the glass box that is their locker room. Eddie raises a brow as Hen shuts the door behind them.

“This isn’t exactly the most private area to have this discussion.”

Hen sits on the bench, “If we talk quiet enough no one is going to hear anything, plus we can see if anyone is sneaking around.” she pats the space next to her, “Now sit.”

He does, but she notices the slight extra effort it takes. He’s not huge by any stretch, but it was noticeable, especially when you know what to look for.

“Alright, first things first, how far along are you?” 

Eddie looks up for a moment in thought, “Uh twenty-three weeks I think. Almost twenty-four. In all honesty, Buck is the one keeping track.” 

“So it is Buck’s then?” 

He looks over at her, expression pinched in indignation and agitation, “Of course it’s Buck’s.”

Hen holds her hands up, and she can’t help but chuckle a bit at the serious expression on his face, “I didn’t mean anything by it. I can’t even imagine the two of you with anyone else.” 

His shoulders relax some, and he leans back against the lockers with a smile, “Neither can I.” 

Hen matches his posture, “How long are you planning on working for?” 

Eddie is looking out through the glass as he talks, “Well, my goal is to go into labor next to one of the engines-”

“Boy, don’t even joke about that.” 

Eddie chuckles, and Hen’s smile is accompanied by an eye roll, “You would if you could and everyone knows it, so I’m vetoing that idea.”

“Being born in the firehouse would make for a good story when she grows up, though.”

Eddie tenses after saying that, and Hen gasps and sits back up. She’s looking at his face, but his eyes are still trained outside.

“You guys are having a girl?” 

He winces, eyes closed, “Don’t tell Buck I let that slip.” He opens his eyes and looks at her, “We promised it was going to be a secret until they were born.” 

Hen huffs, “Well it’s a good thing you’re so reluctant to talk about it, you gave that up incredibly easy.”

Eddie groans, thudding his head against the lockers behind him, “I swear this is Buck’s fault. He’s been going on and on about the histories of the women in his family, things they all have in common, things he thinks she’ll inherit. Then of course there’s the discussion of names, so it’s just been on my mind.”

“Mhm, when in doubt, blame Buck.”

Eddie squints at her, “That better not be a thing people say. And I’m not blaming him. It’s incredibly sweet and endearing. This whole ordeal has just made my brain a little more…slippery.” 

Hen just hums, once again leaning back against the lockers with Eddie. They sit like that for a while, and Hen doesn’t miss the way firefighters keep looking in at them. When she eventually looks back over at Eddie, his eyes are closed. 

“Does she keep you up at night?” Hen asks, voice low.

Eddie hums noncommittally, “Sometimes.”

“You gotta remember to take care of yourself, okay?” 

He cracks open one eye, looking over at her, “Okay.” 

“I mean it, Diaz. You have a lot of people who want you home safe at the end of every day. And it’s not just the people in your household.” 

Eddie gives her a smile, though the corners seem worn and tired, and the edges of his eyes have become watery. 

“Thanks, Hen.”

Buck knew, from the moment they found out, that Eddie was going to push back against almost every suggestion about his health. He knew he was going to insist on working, on contributing. And normally, Buck loves Eddie’s can-do attitude, loves how resilient and strong he can be when he needs to, but he also loves it when Eddie lets himself be human, even if it isn’t always pretty. And while Eddie has pushed and insisted that he in fact can run into that burning building, or perform complicated health rescues, Eddie seems to have hit a wall. 

It’s not so much he doesn’t think he’s capable anymore, Eddie is still up and moving around the house, despite the occasional grimace and complaint of the aches permeating his being. No, the problem is he can’t exactly hide it anymore. At about the 28 week mark, Eddie was getting ready slower than Buck had ever seen, and there was a slight tremor in his hands. Buck sat next to him on the bed, Eddie instinctually leaning against him.

“I don’t think I can do this.”

That sends a cold flash through Buck’s nervous system, and he tries his best to keep the sudden panic out of his voice when he asks, “What do you mean?”

Eddie huffs out of his nose, leaning a bit more heavily against Buck, “I look like a pregnant person.” 

Buck furrows his brows, “You are a pregnant person, Eds.”

“Yeah but I don’t want…”

Buck looks over at Eddie, sees the way he’s biting his lip. Ever since Eddie practically screamed those two words at him all those months ago, Buck has been fearing that Eddie is only going through with this for him. He’ll tell Buck that he’s excited, that he wants to have a baby with him, to expand their family, but then he’ll lock himself in the bathroom for hours, doing god knows what. Buck has never missed the way Eddie had started hiding his body, from himself but also from Buck. It makes Buck’s heart ache in a way nothing else has. He wants to believe the words coming out of Eddie’s mouth, he wants to believe them so, so badly. And now that Eddie is really showing, instead of being excited by the rapidly approaching due date, Buck only feels worse for doing this to him. 

Eddie looks up at Buck, his expression softening before leaning a bit further to press a kiss to his lips before saying, “I just feel weird about it being noticeable.”

“I get that.” 

They sit in silence for a bit, Buck listening to the sounds of the house, as quiet as they are. Christopher is still sleeping, loving being on summer break and out of the Texas humidity (though, the dry heat of California is still plenty brutal). 

“Maybe Cap will let you do admin work in his office.” 

Eddie raises a brow, “For ten weeks? I think I’d go insane.”

Buck sways a bit, pushing Eddie a little, “Okay maybe just for today while we figure out where to go from here.” 

“I can do that.” 

And so they leave for work (late) with a note for Christopher when he’ll inevitably wake up at almost eleven in the morning. Eddie has thoroughly stretched out his LAFD t-shirt, and despite it being the middle of June, Eddie still insists on wearing his jacket. 

Bobby was of course very understanding, though he was rightfully concerned about what they planned on doing going forward. 

“You’ve got what, seven weeks left to go?” 

“Ten.” Eddie corrects, the words settling heavy on his chest. 

“I don’t think you’re going to want to spend ten weeks tucked away back here.”

“Maybe you can go back to dispatch?” Buck suggests, and a full body shudder goes through his body.

“Absolutely not. Besides, I don’t want to run into Josh while I’m there.”

Buck raises a brow, “What beef do you have with Josh?” 

Eddie waves his hand dismissively, “Long story.”

“In the end, Eddie, it’s up to you what you wanna do.” Bobby says, “Just let me know whatever you decide, we’ll be here for you.” 

Eddie gives him a tight lipped smile and a nod, and with that Bobby leaves the room. Once the door is closed, Eddie groans, sitting on the edge of the desk, rolling his neck. 

“Sitting for the foreseeable future maybe wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Are you aching?” 

Eddie nods, and Buck immediately walks over and reaches behind his partner, massaging Eddie’s lower back. Eddie hums, leaning a little further back. 

“You know, you could just start leave early.”

Eddie scrunches his nose, “So that I can have two weeks with the baby?”

“Well, once your two weeks are up, I could start my leave. Tag team it.” 

Eddie sighs through his nose, “We’re supposed to do this together, Buck. I’ll just reduce my hours and tough out the paperwork, maybe come out of my hole while you guys are on a call. Hopefully Cap won’t mind that I've taken over his office for the next two and some months.”

“Are you sure?” 

“If you keep asking me that everytime I make a decision I’m going to start to think you don’t trust me.”

Buck huffs a laugh, “Sorry.” 

Buck leans over, pressing a lingering kiss against Eddie’s temple. He speaks against his skin, “Eddie Diaz you are the strongest and bravest person I know.” 

Eddie reaches up, briefly tangling his fingers in Buck’s hair, “That means a lot coming from you.” 

And so it began, Eddie coming in and immediately veering out of sight into Bobby’s office. Anything Bobby himself needed to do was now done at the kitchen table, just another reminder that Eddie was there but Buck couldn’t see him. It was strange, and there was still that pang of longing that dinked around Buck’s chest even though his partner was just on the other side of the building. 

Chimney of course thought it was strange that Eddie had essentially disappeared, and would groan every time someone stated the reason as a private medical one. 

“We’re family, he’s basically my brother-in-law, why the hell won’t any of you tell me?” 

He usually only gets shrugs in response. Buck feels bad about leaving Chim out of the loop, but the fewer people who know, the better.

Things continued like that for a while, and even though will never be able to not worry about Eddie, pregnant or otherwise, a certain peace of mind settled over Buck knowing Eddie wasn’t throwing himself into the line of fire at the moment. Though, Buck almost had a heart attack when he came home one day to find Eddie in the backyard, up on a ladder fixing a leaky drain pipe, an oversized shirt still stretching with him. 

“What the hell are you doing?!”

Eddie calmly looks over for a moment before returning to his task, “What does it look like?” 

“Eds, you gotta get down.”

“I’m almost done just give me a second.” 

So Buck goes over and holds the bottom of the folding ladder, heart thudding against his ribs. By the time Eddie was safe back on the ground Buck was drenched in sweat, and not just because of the July California heat. 

Eddie faces Buck and grabs either side of his frowning face, “You need to relax, I know what I'm doing.”

“So you know that you’re going to give me heart palpitations if you keep doing this stuff?”

Eddie rolls his eyes with a slight smile, “Drama, drama.” 

He then pats Buck’s face with one hand before walking back inside. Buck follows closely behind, “Any other stunts I should be aware of?” 

“If by stunts you mean the laundry and binging Queer Eye, then-”

They’ve made it just inside, and Eddie sucks in a breath, one hand flying to his stomach while the other shoots out to grab the edge of the counter. Buck quickly rounds Eddie so he’s in front of him, his heart once again kicking against him, “What? What is it?” 

“Feel this.” Is all Eddie says. He doesn’t seem to be in pain, or distress, so Buck just follows directions without any more comment. 

He puts a hand on the side of Eddie’s stomach, and his eyes widen slightly. It’s hard as a rock.

Eddie laughs breathlessly, “Braxton Hicks.”

“Does it hurt?” 

Eddie shakes his head, “It just feels, weird.”

Eventually the muscles unclench, but Buck keeps his hand there. Buck has been refraining from touching Eddie’s swollen stomach, knowing how little he likes the attention. But Eddie has been using him as a sort of support pillow at night, basically propping his belly onto Buck to try and relieve some pressure while he sleeps. He has a pillow on the other side if he rolls over, and Buck had offered to get him a proper pregnancy pillow, but Eddie declined, claiming the bed wasn’t big enough for the two of them and the pillow. As a result, Buck has been able to feel when their daughter moves in the dead of night, sometimes followed by an annoyed huff from Eddie.

So now Buck is taking the opportunity to feel it in the daytime, in their kitchen as June comes to a close outside. And Eddie lets him, just swaying slightly on his feet. Eventually, though, Eddie grimaces and shifts his hips, and Buck pulls his hand away. 

“Sorry, do you-”

Eddie holds up a hand, “Let’s just move this to the couch. Also if you could bring me a glass of water that would be awesome.” 

Smiling, Buck presses a kiss to his cheek, “Of course.” 

So Eddie heads into the living room and the couch, and Buck follows dutifully with a glass of water and a heating pad.

Eddie had turned the TV on, and gratefully accepted both items from Buck. He downs the water before settling the heating pad against his lower back, sighing in relief. Buck takes his now empty glass and puts it on the coffee table before sitting shoulder to shoulder with Eddie. It’s the middle of the afternoon, and Buck is exhausted from his 24-hour shift. Eddie is warm, and he shifts to accommodate Buck as he lays his head on Eddie’s shoulder. They’re watching some home improvement show, and Buck can feel his blinks becoming slower. 

“Do you wanna touch it?”

Buck looks up at Eddie, brain desperately trying to return to the conscious world, “Touch what?”

“My stomach.”

Buck sits all the way up again, looking closely at Eddie. Despite the slight smile he’s sporting, Buck doesn't miss the slight tension between his brows, and the way he seems to be looking just to the side of Buck’s eyes.

“Are, are you sure?” 

Eddie grabs one of Buck’s hands from out of his lap, “Of course. She’s not just mine, you should feel her too.”

He then puts Buck’s hand in the center of his belly, keeping a loose grip on his wrist. Buck can feel the movement under Eddie’s skin, and it makes his heart squeeze tightly in his chest. That’s his kid, that’s his and Eddie’s kid. It’s a thought he’s had before, and each time he feels himself become overwhelmed with emotion, feeling as though he needs to run laps around the house. 

Up until now, Buck has only laid his lips and head to the ever growing bump Eddie is sporting. He’s well aware of the discomfort the change has brought, and he tries to draw as little attention to it as possible as a result.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Eddie says.

Buck tentatively moves his hand to the side of Eddie’s stomach, “Not really.”

Eddie scoffs, “You’re telling me this doesn’t put you off in the slightest? I’m not, I look like I walked out of a freakshow.” 

It’s accompanied by a laugh, though it didn’t sound genuine. 

“You’re not the first trans guy to get pregnant, Eddie. And you don’t look like a freak. You look pregnant, and you’re glowing.”

Eddie looks down at Buck’s hands, “Yeah right.” 

Buck sighs, putting his other hand on the other side of the bump, “I can’t tell you how to feel, but I just need you to know that I think you’re the most handsome man in all of LA, now matter how much you may change, from now until we’re old and grey, you will always be my Eddie Diaz and that’s all I need to love you.”

Eddie’s eyes widen a fraction, and Buck can see the slight melt to his posture. 

“So there are handsomer men outside of LA?”

Buck reaches up and pinches one of Eddie’s shoulders while the other man laughs, and Buck feels a little bit lighter.

Chimney Han knows he has a reputation as the worst secret keeper the 118 has ever seen. Especially when the secrets are big and life altering and he has no idea if he’ll ever have the opportunity to talk about it outloud. It’s a lot of pressure, alright? And Chimney knows that everyone knows that, so he understands when he’s not told certain stuff and eventually has to find out about it later. 

But is it really a secret he can’t know about when everyone knows but him?

It was a normal day at the 118, a relatively calm one at that. Except, of course, that Eddie is nowhere to be seen. His work hours had been cut in half and whenever he was here, he was hidden away somewhere. Chimney has tried to ask about it, but of course no one will answer him directly. Then when he tries to complain to his wife, she just shrugs it off and says it’s none of their business.

“You know, don’t you?” 

Maddie had wrinkled her nose at the accusation, and Chimney knew better than to continue the conversation. No one else at the 118 seems bothered about Eddie not being around, which just signals to him that he’s the only one left unaware of the why. 

He tries not to dwell on it, knowing nothing productive will come of that. As Chimney walks towards the ambulance to restock it, he wonders when the last time he even talked to Eddie was. 

Just before Chimney even opens the doors of the ambulance, he hears groaning coming from the open bay doors. He walks around the side of the vehicle, and he sees none other than Eddie Diaz himself hobbling into the bay. 

Chimney notices three things about him right away: first and foremost he was obviously in pain, second that gut Chim had noticed several months ago was substantially larger, and third his grey sweats were clearly drenched from the crotch down. Chimney mentally tries to run through possible scenarios that could cause loss of bladder control. 

Chim freezes next to the ambulance and Eddie continues to amble towards him, one hand on the side of his swollen belly and the other propping himself up against the ambulance.

“Oh my god, what happened to you?” 

“Where’s Buck?” Eddie grits. He’s stopped moving, and suddenly his face twists in pain and he folds over, knees apart as he grunts, teeth clenched. 

Chimney steps closer, something like prickling ice filling his veins, “Eddie, what the hell is going on?” 

After a couple moments Eddie straightens and the hand on the ambulance grabs the front of Chimney’s uniform tightly, “Where, is, Buck?”

Startled, Chimney swallows, “He’s on a grocery run with Cap.” 

Eddie hangs his head, but his hand keeps its firm grip, “Shit.”

“What’s going on down there?” Hen calls from the loft. 

“Eddie needs some help down here!” Chimney calls over his shoulder, hands instinctively coming to support Eddie’s elbows. It wasn’t long before Hen was jogging up behind him. Eddie’s taking deep breaths, and his hand has flattened out against Chimney’s shoulder.

“Jesus Christ, Eddie.” Hen says, though she sounds more exasperated than surprised. Why was she not surprised? 

“When will Buck be back?” 

His voice was still tight, and his eyes are squeezed shut. 

“I’m not sure, but I’m sure they’ll be able to meet us at the hospital.” 

Eddie vigorously shakes his head, “No, no, I’ll go when Buck gets here.”

Hen grabs Eddie by the shoulder, and he takes his hand off Chimney and is instead using Hen to steady him, “How long ago did your water break?” 

“I’m sorry, what?” Chimney exclaims. The things Chimney is seeing and hearing are contradicting things he knows to be true. Regardless, both Hen and Eddie ignore Chim entirely.

“I dunno, ten minutes ago? I was on my way to pick up Chris from a birthday party. Station was on the way.”

Hen attempts to gently pull Eddie towards the back of the ambulance, “We need to get you to the hospital.” 

Eddie only goes a couple steps before groaning again, which pitched up into a whine at the end. 

He then says, “Not without Buck, and I don’t think I’ll make it.” 

At this point Chimney has shut off the part of his brain that’s trying to reconcile his version of firefighter Diaz with the person clearly laboring in front of him and instead relies on that automatic paramedic part of his brain. 

“Whatever we’re going to do, we need to do it quickly.” 

“When did your contractions start?” Hen asks, still trying to move him along the ambulance. 

“Dunno, I realized they were real right as Buck was going into work.”

They’ve rounded the ambulance, and as Chimney throws open the doors, Eddie is hunched over again, legs spread, and holding onto Hen’s forearms like his life depends on it. Chim’s eyes widen as Hen starts to admonish him. 

“Edmundo Diaz, I told you you are not allowed to give birth on the floor of this firehouse.”

When Eddie stops pushing and breathes again, he sounds on the verge of tears as he says, “I don’t think I have much of a choice.” 

Chim (along with the rest of the 118) have delivered a lot of babies over the years, but Chim has never delivered one for a coworker before, especially not one that he didn’t know was pregnant.  

They do eventually get Eddie into the ambulance though, despite his protesting and bitten down cries, but both he and Hen knew they didn’t have a lot of time. Hen fetched Ravi to drive, the poor guy also utterly confused on what was going on. At least Chim wasn’t the only one. 

Before they’re out of the doors Eddie is pushing again, and Hen is reaching for the scissors to cut his pants open.

“Take me to the grocery store.”

At first Chimney isn’t sure he heard correctly, and he looks up at Hen, who is looking at him just as confused.

“Why would we do that?”

“I am not delivering in a moving ambulance and I want Buck here. Take me to him, now.” 

Hen takes a breath, and Chimney can see the effort she’s putting into speaking calmly to Eddie, “Eddie, I think it would be best for both of you if-”

“Don’t play with me, Hen!” Eddie barks, “Either you take me there or I get out and walk!” 

He’s yelling now, and Hen’s expression has turned stony. Despite that, though, she complies with his demand, yelling for Ravi to head for their usual spot. Hen then starts working on cutting Eddie’s pants open while Chimney monitors vitals. 

“Have you at least called him?” Chimney asks.

Eddie shakes his head, speaking through gritted teeth, “Idiot let his phone die.” 

“I’ll call Cap then.” Chim says as Hen ducks between Eddie’s legs.

Chim quickly dials him, his fingers slightly shaky for some reason, and Bobby picks up on the third ring, “Hey, did we forget something?”

“Uh no, not quite. Where’s Buck?” 

“He’s next to me, we’re heading to the front to check out. Why?” 

Beside him, Eddie groans through gritted teeth, throwing his head back against the gurney, Hen coaching him through. Chimney feels the ambulance come to a stop.

“Well Buck better get out to the ambulance in the parking lot if he wants to see his kid be born.”

“She’s crowning, he better hurry the hell up!” Hen calls as Bobby incredulously asks, “You’re in the parking lot?”

“Yes, just send Buck out!” 

There’s some scuffling on the other end, and some murmured voices before Bobby lets him know that Buck is on his way. Only moments later is there a frantic pounding on the back doors of the ambulance. By now Eddie is screaming, so Chimney throws open the doors and Buck clambers inside.

The ambulance was rather crowded now, and knowing that both Hen and Buck have delivered babies before, Chim decides to be the one to step out, calling for them to let them know if they need anything. Once outside he closes the doors behind him, not missing the few stares aimed his way as Eddie’s yells make their way through the parking lot. Ravi is standing out here, looking confused as all hell. He looks at Chim expectantly, and all Chimney can do is shrug. 

“I haven’t got a clue either, kid.”

Ravi rolls his eyes as Bobby comes jogging up to them, “Everything going okay?” 

Now that Chimney was no longer involved in saving someone’s life, that annoyed confusion worms its way back into his chest as he looks at Bobby. They’re standing in the parking lot of the neighborhood grocery store, the hot July sun beating down on them and radiating up from the asphalt, while a fellow firefighter gives birth in the ambulance. What the hell. 

“Were none of you going to tell me?” 

Bobby, seeming unphased, just puts his hands on his hips, “They didn’t want anyone to know. It’s their call, not ours.”

Chimney points at Bobby, “You knew!” he then points at the ambulance, “And Hen clearly knew! So why couldn’t I know? That’s my niece or nephew being born in there!” 

“From what it sounds like Hen wasn’t told either. She just kind of figured it out.”

“For the record I didn’t know either.” Ravi adds, leaning into the bubble of conversation. Chimney squints at him.

“So glad my brother-in-law didn’t tell me or the probie. What a relief.” 

There’s a slight hint of a smile on Bobby’s face as he says, “Take it easy, Chim.” 

“Why should I? I get it, I’m not the best at keeping secrets, but you gotta admit this was hardly a secret.”

“That’s something you’re going to have to ask Buck and Eddie about. I was just doing as they asked.” 

Throughout this entire conversation, they could hear Eddie’s muffled yells, and Chimney can only imagine what’s going on in there. The three of them remain awkwardly outside, Bobby shooing off a nosey older woman who had been lingering in the peripherals. 

Eventually, though it really was only a handful of minutes, Hen slowly opens the ambulance doors, the shrill cry of a newborn piercing the air. Chimney’s heart soars as he sees Buck with a face splitting smile and tear tracks wetting his cheeks, cradling his screaming baby in a towel. Chimney steps up onto the edge of the ambulance, and Bobby comes up on Chimney’s shoulder, watching Buck gently sway the unhappy infant.

“And who is this?” Bobby asks, his voice thick with affection.

Buck sniffles, letting out a wet laugh as he refuses to take his eyes off of the baby, “This is Stella.” 

Buck then looks at Eddie, moving up a little higher so Eddie could see her. Eddie looks wrecked, his face and hair slick with sweat and his eyes aren’t quite focused on the bundle Buck is offering him. He seems…out of it. 

“Here she is, Eds. Little early, but that’s okay.” 

Eddie hums, one hand coming up to grab onto Buck’s, and there’s a half smile on his face. 

Hen takes off the gloves she had put on, crumpling them in her hands, “We have to get going to the hospital, since she’s only-”

Suddenly there’s harsh beeping behind her, and without a second thought Chimney climbs into the ambulance and returns to his post before they had parked.

“BP’s crashing!”

“Shit, he’s hemorrhaging!” Hen yells out.

With those two words, everyone is now in motion. Ravi quickly slams the doors of the ambulance before running around the side with Bobby, and Buck has positioned himself by Eddie’s head, practically begging him to stay awake, but Eddie’s head just lolls with the slight sway of the vehicle. 

The siren is accompanied by Stella’s screams, and that familiar extra layer of panic when it’s one of your own is all coming together to give Chim a headache. 

What a shitshow.

Eddie isn’t sure how long it’s been when he finally comes back to his senses, the world no longer feeling like some waking nightmare. He remembers just about everything, but all of it was awash in a blood-loss flavored delirium. Closing his eyes made his head feel heavier, so he tried not to do that for too long.

There’s people in his room, talking quietly amongst themselves while Eddie subconsciously stares at the TV in the corner playing a rerun of Let’s Make a Deal. Eddie turns his head to the right, seeing Buck and Tia Peppa sitting on the small couch together. However, when they see Eddie move, their conversation stalls.

“How are you feeling?” Buck asks as he gets to his feet.

“Like I’ve been ripped in half.” 

When Buck is close enough, he runs a hand through Eddie’s hair, looking down at him with a sympathetic grimace, “Well, that’s not too far off from what happened I guess.” 

Eddie hums, and then Peppa stands. She makes her way towards the lower half of the bed, a hand coming to rest on his leg, “You gave everyone quite the scare.”

“Didn’t mean to.” 

She squeezes his shin, and that’s when Eddie’s brain really tries to kick itself into gear, “Where’s Stella?” 

Peppa’s eyebrows shoot up with a smile, “Stella? Is that her name?” 

Eddie nods lazily, and then jerks a thumb at Buck, “He’s the one that came up with it.” 

Peppa looks at Buck, smiling knowingly, “Any special meaning?” 

Buck’s hand that was in Eddie’s hair drops down to Eddie’s shoulder, his other hand drumming against his tight, “Uh no, I just thought it sounded nice.” 

“Her middle name is Josephine, though.” Eddie says.

Immediately her playful smile was gone, a hand coming up to cover her mouth. Eddie can see the shine that immediately springs to her eyes, and as a result Eddie feels a prickle in the corner of his own eyes. Peppa comes up and hugs Eddie gently, mumbling into his hair about how lucky she is to have them. She then hugs Buck with fierceness. 

“You boys will be the death of me someday, I swear.” 

No one answered his question, though, but it didn’t need answering as a nurse comes in, rolling a bed with his daughter in it towards them. 

“Here she is.” The nurse whispers with a wide smile. Stella is sleeping, swaddled tightly in a blanket and hat. As soon as the bed comes to a stop, Buck wastes no time reaching in and picking her up, the precision and gentleness of it all causing those tears that formed in Eddie’s eyes to actually fall. 

Buck doesn’t seem to be faring much better as his voice is watery as he says, “Hey there, baby girl.”

Peppa squeezes Eddie’s shoulder, and he looks up at her with a smile, grateful to have her with him in this moment. He’s unsure what he would do without her, and out of all the family he could have in L.A., he’s glad he has her.

Then Buck looks at Eddie, his soft bouncing continuing as he steps towards the bed. Without a word, he transfers her to Eddie, “I already got a turn.” 

Her weight is solid in his arms as her eyes open to reveal a familiar, stunning shade of blue. It’s then that Eddie breaks down in quiet sobs, the gravity of it all finally hitting him full force. They have a baby now, where do they go from here? 

Eddie uses one hand to try and wipe at the tears, hating that he was crying in front of his kid when she was a handful of hours old, and then his stomach drops, only making tears fall harder. Christopher.

He gets his jumping chest to cooperate long enough to ask, “Where is Christopher?” 

Buck comes to sit next to him on the bed, rubbing a hand up and down the arm still holding Stella, “Karen picked him up. We just say the word and they’ll bring him over.”

Eddie nods and sniffs, roughly wiping his eyes again, “Okay good. Fuck, I need to get it together.” 

“You pushed a human out of you, fall apart as much as you need to.”

The end of the statement was punctuated with a kiss to the top of his head, and Eddie takes a deep breath.

Notes:

I wrote the line "Hello, baby girl" before the thirst tweet video so seeing that while formatting this made me laugh lmao

Also I realized that there are a lot of people who didn't get to find out/meet baby (cough cough their fucken. parents) so I kinda might wanna maybe write a second chapter to include that.