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Tony couldn't explain the feeling that carved itself a place in his chest, persistent and demanding and sometimes so overwhelming that he couldn't contain the wide, almost dopey grin that crawled up his face. It was happiness and fondness rolled into one, sprinkled with something he would dare call love if he felt brave enough in the moment.
He didn't feel particularly brave, surrounded by strangers in suits who thought more of themselves than they actually were and unnamed press that often frequented similar tech conferences, but he could still recognise that unyielding urge to shout for all the world to hear about just how proud he was of the boy standing on stage before them, giving a speech and presenting his latest project
Tony hadn't even noticed how much he was vibrating with poorly concealed enthusiasm until a hand settled on his shoulder, firm, squeezing just enough to still him and comfort him. Tony turned to face Rhodey, with a smug expression and a spark of knowing shimmering in his friend's eyes. It's the type of expression Rhodey fancied more and more often lately— a certain fond warmth reserved for the rare occasions where Tony ignited pride in the man's own heart.
"Barely seventeen and already with a patent under his belt, Rhodey, can't you see how good he is?" He'd gushed over the phone, still just as thrilled as Peter was to receive the news that the kid's patent had been approved.
"I can, Tones; just calm down."
"Rhode-e-ey! How could I?" Tony whined, all drama and theatrics contrasting the smirk on his face as he paced the space of his workshop. DUM-E beeped, waving his robotic arm around in a show of confusion. "The kid's gonna give a speech in about a week— at that tech conference I told you about? You've gotta come and see him, Rhodey. He's wonderful."
Breathy laughter was the only answer Tony could get out of this man for quite a while. He insisted that Rhodey should come for Peter's sake— the kid would be ecstatic to see him at the conference, after all— but they both knew Tony just wanted a familiar face whom he could gush to about his kid's achievements.
Tony would lie to all and say that his friend was feeling that pride towards the speech Peter was doing onstage— but privately, to himself, he knew the soft glow in Rhodey's eyes was directed at Tony. 'Look at yourself, Tones,' it seemed to speak. 'Isn't it wonderful, when you allow yourself to be happy? To feel something?'
Tony licked his lips and crossed his arms, turning away to watch his kid. He could see the nerves radiating off of Peter, the poorly veiled excitement and anxiety all rolling into one overwhelming mass of feelings that would undoubtedly leave Peter exhausted as soon as the 'people-speaking' part of the show was done and over with.
He noticed when the kid swallowed down a knot in his throat, his gaze seeking him out in the crowd, and Tony straightened in his seat so when their eyes met he would smile— calm and composed, trying to relay his confidence to his kid. Tony would give him a nod of encouragement, and Peter's face would brighten just a little— unnoticeable so long as nobody was looking for it.
Tony noticed. He always did.
And once Peter was finished, with project specifics and future plans laid out for the potential investors to hear, the applause began. Loud and undoubtedly booming for the kid's sensitive ears, but it didn't diminish the pure delight shining brightly in Peter's expression in the slightest. Tony stood up, too— joining the applause together with the majority of the room, completely unashamed of the cameras that, without a doubt, captured the joy that painted his expression— lacking his sunglasses, of course, because it was important to him that Peter knew that Tony gave him his undivided attention.
No matter what, Tony would always give Peter his attention. No more holding the kid at arm's length.
—
Despite all the things Tony wanted to tell his kid, he didn't really get the chance until a while later, long after Peter's presentation, when the conference was getting wrapped up and the three of them scrambled upstairs to hide in the Stark Penthouse. After throwing his own suit off and replacing it with a much more comfortable set of clothes, Tony took the time to finally have a tete-a-tete chat with Peter.
Tony found his kid on the balcony, leaning his crossed arms against the railing and watching the setting sun on the horizon, phone in hand and humming Shoot to Thrill— 'He's been singing that song non-stop for the last hour, Stark, quit infecting my kid!' May had told him, a teasing smile stretching her lips— and already dressed in his pyjamas, done with human interactions for the day. One of Peter's legs was bent at the knee, propped on the toes of his shoes, swinging around as a way for Peter to let out whatever lasting energy he still had.
Peter was tired, Tony knew. For all the bright brilliance and an alter ego with millions of fans under his belt that the kid had, Peter wasn't actually all that up for crowds and talking to strangers. Tony tried to support him through the event, but there was only so much he could do without appearing too overbearing both to the public's eye and to Peter's standards.
Tony approached him, propping his elbows on the railing, and cast a look at the view. Sightseeing wasn't exactly in the pool of Tony's interests, and living right above a beach with an open view of the sea had dimmed his overall impression of sunsets, but he could see why people— and his kid— would consider it beautiful. The way the sky painted itself with a myriad of colours, always wildly different and constantly shifting, with light reflecting off the sky-high buildings and making the dull city shine.
"Did you enjoy yourself today?"
"It was fine," Peter shared. His voice was hoarse— not used to speaking so much in a single day yet. "The good kind of 'fine,' though. I liked it."
"Yeah?" Tony turned, smiling at his protégé.
"Yeah." Peter met his eyes, smiling back, the corners of his eyes crinkling with it. "How did I do?"
"You were fantastic," Tony said, firm, and he hoped that Peter caught the determination laced in his words. The desperation for Peter to see himself in the light that Tony looked at him under. "It was great. Have you seen how many people stood up? You impressed them. You got them to focus and held them captivated from start to end."
Peter chuckled and tilted his head, looking at Tony with that same starry-eyed and awed expression that he gained each time Tony told him the smallest of praises, so trusting and admiring.
"Have you spoken to your aunt yet?"
"Yes," Peter lifted his phone up to wave at him and then hid it in his pocket. "May said that she's been watching the live stream, and, uh, well. She cried, said that I did good. I don't know."
"How do you think you did?"
"I've been stressed the whole time," Peter frowned. "Surely it couldn't have made for a good picture?"
Tony took a moment to look at Peter; the nervous edge in his posture and something anxious brimming under all that joy in his eyes that spoke of a long-settled worry. Tony wanted the look gone.
Before he could overthink and double-guess his choice— could he really provide the comfort Peter needed?— Tony pushed himself away from the railing and reached his hands towards Peter, quickly tugging his kid right into his embrace, arms wrapping tightly around the boy's shoulders. Peter followed without protest, gladly falling against Tony's chest and circling his own arms around the man's torso.
Tony pressed his cheek against the boy's hair, stroking his back with slow, caring motions. Peter sighed softly, nestling his head against Tony's shoulder, his entire body slumping in Tony's arms— all the pent-up nerves leaving him in a single breath. He must be doing something right, Tony thought, if that was the effect his presence had on the kid.
"You're the best of us, Pete, I want you to know that," he whispered into his kid's hair. "I'm so proud of you. So, so proud. I always will be, no matter what you do."
Peter's hold on him tightened, just a little, growing a touch more desperate for affection, and Tony answered the gesture in kind— hoping to relay to him everything he didn't have the words for. 'I love you,' he said. 'I'm honoured to stand by your side today, watching you reach new heights.'
They spent a long time standing on the balcony, looking over the city as day slowly crept into night, until FRIDAY called them in via request from Rhodey and Pepper, May standing by her side and ready to share with Peter her own pride as soon as she took sight of them.