Chapter 1
Summary:
Title taken from "Sanctuary" by Carrie Newcomer.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Lena Luthor is an idiot.
It’s not the first time in her life that she has come to this conclusion, and she’s well aware that her former teachers and her colleagues at LuthorCorp would call her anything but that. They’d call her a geek, maybe, a loner, perhaps even a bitch behind her back. But not an idiot. The three diplomas and countless excellence awards lining the wall of her office – correction: former office –, the many inventions and projects developed under her leadership, and her wide understanding of the biomechanical field would hold up against that assertion.
However, standing in the middle of nowhere in front of a huge farmhouse that looks way more run down than it had in the ad, while searching the dirty ground for a key that should have been left behind for her but clearly wasn’t, evidently supports Lena’s claim. So yes, Lena Luthor is an impulsive idiot who thought she could run away from home and find a magical place far away from her sorrows, as if she’d stumble upon an alternate dimension where her life becomes a damn Hallmark movie.
In Lena’s defense, her decision had been fueled by dangerous amounts of alcohol in her bloodstream and a fresh traumatic experience she could add to the mental list that had steadily grown over her years spent at the Luthor mansion. Plus, Lena’s idiocy already started way before this ill-fated decision, right when she had agreed to Lex’s proposal to help develop more weaponry against alien invaders. It only grew bigger and bigger with all the changes in Lex’s behavior she had overlooked and minimized to herself. Of course, Lex would never develop something with the intent to harm. No, his research was solely aimed at defense. And yes, Superman most definitely supported this.
Idiot.
Lena shakes her head to stop herself from spiraling further, but to her horror, she can feel tears forming in her eyes. She absentmindedly rubs her wrist, where zipper ties had held them together and cut off her blood supply just yesterday, and takes a few deep breaths to focus on what she can actually do at the moment. And that is to find this damn key that is supposed to be hidden in an artificial rock. There are not even that many stones here to begin with. So, where the hell is it?
After a few minutes, Lena finally finds it. It’s placed on the windowsill close to the front door and couldn’t look any more out of place and blatantly fake than it already does. The seller might as well just have taped the key to the door. That at least would have saved Lena from fruitlessly straining her eyes and searching the ground where Lena would have thought anyone with common sense would have placed a dummy rock.
But well, perhaps Lena is actually the one who has lost her mind. After all, she is the one standing on the porch of a farm she bought yesterday night without ever meeting the seller or seeing the farmhouse before. For all she knows, this might not even be a legitimate sale. Yes, she had run a quick background check with her own resources, and everything had come back clean. But it had been three o’clock in the morning. She could have easily overlooked something.
Lena sighs and fumbles with the faux rock until she can twist it open and take the key to unlock the door. Only one way to find out.
There’s no way out.
Lena sighs exasperatedly and holds her phone up as high as she can, but still, the call fails again, and Lena is left stranded on the hill she climbed up in hopes of getting some cell service. As it turned out, the seller hadn't deemed it necessary to fix the electricity and water connection of the house before selling it to some mad woman on the internet. Served Lena right, honestly. Why was she even surprised by this? This all had been a preposterous mistake, and now she had no electricity, no water, and no cell service to call anyone for help, or at least someone to take her to the closest shop so she could buy the tools and try and do it herself. The power grid she could handle, the water, well, that was just an opportunity to expand her knowledge.
Lena sighs once more before she starts to descend the hill and go for the only viable option left: Do exactly what she hadn’t wanted to and why she chose a place surrounded by nature instead of people – meet her neighbor.
On the twenty-minute walk to the closest and only other farm visible from her house, Lena prepares her words carefully. She’s still trying to protect her newfound solitude in hopes of it bringing her calmness and clarity with time, so Lena decides to opt for a bit of rude poshness mixed within her words. After all, having Lillian look down on her bastard adoptive daughter her whole life gave Lena the perfect example to learn from. So when Lena walks up to the red-painted, worn-down farmhouse, she straightens her posture, lifts her chin, and narrows her gaze in preparation.
Her plan fails instantly when two dogs shoot out of the barn and race right towards her. Lena freezes, fear gripping her heart and breaking her mask, and for the seconds she has left before the dogs reach her, she wonders how the news is going to report about this. Perhaps, Unfortunate Accident kills family member amidst Luthor Trial, or maybe in a more creative approach, Can dogs smell evil? Luthor killed in violent accident. Well, Lena doesn't need to keep wondering because the first dog lunges at her right then, open-mouth, aiming right for her throat. The force of its body colliding with hers nearly sweeps Lena off her feet. She almost wishes it had because then maybe she would have been so lucky as to hit her head and lose consciousness before the pain would register. Instead, now she’s left waiting for it to register when the dog reaches her neck.
But it never does. Instead, something wet and coarse connects with her skin, and when Lena dares to open her eyes, the black, grey and white-furred dog that had jumped her and which Lena can now identify as a Border Collie, is happily wagging its tail and jumping up again to give her another kiss. Next to it is a huge and very fluffy white-furred dog looking up at her. It seems to be more aware of its size because instead of jumping up at her, it merely sniffs Lena’s hand before it boops it with its nose to ask for pets. Lena can’t help but laugh at the adorableness of the two dogs, and a second later, she’s using one hand to pet them each and has almost forgotten about what had even brought her here.
With the adrenaline subsiding, she takes a good look around for the first time and finds more livestock watching her. There are some sheep that have come to the fence to her left, and some cows to her right. Lena has to do a double-take – and is that a horse in between them ? On the sides of the path Lena had already crossed, she can make out some pigs she hadn't noticed before, and the cooing sounds her ears register now must stem from some chickens close by. Compared to her freshly bought and empty farm, this one is overflowing with life. Still, Lena has yet to make out actual people living here.
Followed by the newly befriended dogs, Lena continues her search. She lets her eyes wander over the two-story-tall main building, taking in its red stone facade and large windows. She can actually catch a glance inside the building through the glass, making out a big sofa, multiple bean bags, and a medium-sized TV screen in what appears to be the living room. But the room is dark, and Lena can’t detect any movement. The people living here must either be out or somewhere in the big stable next to the house.
Lena decides to continue her search there, shortly checking her phone before she enters in case it miraculously has cell service here. Which it doesn’t, of course. Instead, it flies out of her hands when something suddenly barrels into her. And while the dog hadn’t managed to do it earlier, this does succeed in sweeping her off her feet. More so, the air gets violently pressed out of Lena’s chest with the collision, sharp pain shooting through her. Years of professionally training as an athlete are the only thing saving Lena from a certain concussion because her hands immediately shoot to her head to protect it from the impending collision with the hard ground beneath her. Well, that and someone's quick reflexes, it seems, because it never happens.
Instead, when the world finally stops spinning and Lena’s vision clears, she’s basically lying in someone's arms, looking up into the worried faces of the two dogs she had gotten familiar with and the sun-kissed face of her saviour.
“Oh my gosh, are you okay? I’m so sorry I didn’t see you,” the blonde woman, whose sturdy body Lena apparently collided with, apologizes. Her gorgeous blue eyes wander over Lena’s body as if she’s checking for injuries before they return to her face with an apologetic look and a deep frown etched between defining eyebrows. Her golden locks are tied back in a ponytail, only a few strands escaping its hold, falling perfectly in line to frame her tanned face. Lena wonders if she had indeed hit her head or if it’s the adrenaline still coursing through her system that makes the other woman appear so otherworldly gorgeous to her in that moment. Either way, Lena can’t stop staring.
“Normally, Toto and Alex Jr. alert me to visitors on the farm,” the stranger explains further. “They must have been too excited by your visit to remember they’re supposed to do that.”
As if on cue, the Border Collie, who Lena soon guesses from the blonde's reprimands must be Toto, starts licking all over Lena’s face. Lena knows it means he likes her, but in that moment, she just closes her eyes and hopes he’ll stop soon and doesn’t have anything he can transmit to her.
“Toto no,” the woman chastises the dog and pulls Lena’s torso more upright, turning it toward her in an attempt to get her face out of Toto’s reach. It is highly successful as Toto’s excited kisses are wasted on Lena’s arm now, but it also makes Lena aware of how firm the other woman’s body feels pressed against her; how muscular her arms that are holding Lena up are; how good she smells – like a mix of pinewood and maple syrup.
“I have to apologize for him,” the stranger says, helping Lena back onto her feet. “He gets a tad too excited sometimes and doesn’t understand the concept of personal space.”
Lena wipes her face with the sleeve of her shirt before she looks at the stranger again and accepts the apology. “It’s alright. I actually thought he’d attack me when he came running toward me earlier,” Lena recounts with a surprisingly steady voice, softening her strong words with a small laugh. “So I am very glad he just wanted to show his affection.”
“Oh,” the other woman frowns, “I’m really sorry. We don’t have a lot of people visiting here, so he doesn’t have the best manners with new people. Alex Jr. hasn’t gotten around to teaching them to him yet.”
Lena looks at the other dog, Alex Jr., presumably, which her brain reminds her now looks a lot like a Great Pyrenees. It’s sitting down next to the stranger, enjoying some head scratches, and watches Lena out of big brown eyes.
“Is there an Alex Senior?” Lena finds herself asking, eyes flitting back to the blonde woman, who Lena realizes had introduced both her dogs but not herself.
“There is,” the stranger grins, baby blue eyes shimmering with mirth. “My sister Alex. For someone who doesn’t like sharing at all, she was surprisingly all too happy to share her name with Alex Jr. here once she saw a video of her,” the stranger informs her.
Lena nods, brushing the remaining dust off her legs and remembering what she originally came here to ask. “Does that mean you have cell service or an internet connection here?” she asks.
“Yes, of course. Do you need to make a call? Sorry, I didn’t even ask what brought you here,” the gorgeous stranger apologizes, leading Lena into her house. “I have a landline and a pretty solid WiFi connection.” She opens the door and leads Lena to the right, where a stationary phone is sitting atop a sunlit kitchen aisle. In the corner of the room next to a wooden desk with a laptop on it, Lena can also make out a router.
“Yes, thank you…” Lena turns to the woman, whose beautiful eyes widen in realization at Lena’s pointed pause.
“Oh my gosh, so sorry,” her hand basically shoots out, clasping Lena’s firmly and shaking it. “Kara. I’m Kara Danvers. And you?”
Lena can’t help but chuckle at the mortified look on the blonde’s - Kara’s - face, all the while enjoying the firm pressure of her warm hand. “Nice to meet you, Kara. I’m Lena,” she introduces herself, “your new neighbor.”
Kara's eyebrows shoot up in surprise as she releases Lena’s hand, “You bought the Miller’s estate?”
“I suppose so,” Lena replies. “It was a time-sensitive purchase, which meant I could not visit prior to the sale, so I didn’t get to know the people who lived here before. Although I reckon it must have been some time since then because neither water nor electricity is working,” she discloses. “I need to make a few calls to get that fixed.”
Lena walks over to the desk to grab the phone, but Kara’s hand on her arm stops her. “I could take a look first,” Kara offers. “I’m quite handy and fix things around here by myself all the time. The drive out here from the closest city is quite some distance anyway. I’d doubt anyone would be able to come by before tomorrow.”
“Alright,” Lena accepts, trusting Kara’s assessment and proclaimed skillset. Since nothing was working anyway, what harm could be done by letting Kara try to fix it? Lena could always keep an eye on it and help out should she need to. “Thank you.”
Kara smiles brightly at her, “Great, I’ll just grab my toolbox.”
As it turns out, a lot of harm could be done. Not to the house, luckily, no; Kara had managed to get both water and electricity running in no time. She had taken one look and had known exactly what to do, simultaneously working and teaching Lena on how to fix it herself should it occur again. Lena had just pretended not to know anything about, well, anything and nodded and tried to listen to whatever Kara was telling her. So everything had worked out pretty smoothly, practically speaking.
However, what Lena hadn’t been prepared to keep from harm was her sanity. And it had suffered. Because, as it turned out, Kara Danvers likes to take her jacket off when she does things with her hands. She likes to put it aside and stretch her arms and shoulders, and back before she goes to work. She likes to spin her tools between her long, deft fingers and lift things out of her way instead of walking around them. She likes to work in tight tank tops.
Which all would be fine, really, if not for two important details:
A) Kara Danvers is jacked;
And B) Lena Luthor is a useless lesbian.
So even though her problems had been solved and there is no more reason to converse with her new neighbor whom she initially never even wanted to meet, Lena finds herself easily agreeing when Kara offers Lena to come over and stay for dinner since “Cereal bars are not enough to sustain you until tomorrow, Lena.”
It’s also the reason she is standing in a chicken coop wearing knee-high rain boots and holding a bucket with grains and kitchen scraps half an hour later, and why she tentatively pets one of the cows after that, guided by Kara’s calm voice. It’s why she has already agreed to breakfast the next morning before even having tasted the dinner Kara is cooking, and why she starts creating a list with all she needs for her new house for the shopping trip Kara will take her on tomorrow.
Because Kara has asked her to.
And Lena is gay. And weak.
It’s only halfway through dinner – a delicious potato soufflé Kara had baked – that Lena eventually comes back to her senses. She had learned more about the farm and its inhabitants, about Kara’s main job as a freelance writer, and her excitement for the arrival of the puppies Alex Jr. is expecting. But now Kara is looking expectantly at Lena to share, a simple question asked that immediately had pierced through the bubble of ease and comfort Kara’s stories had lulled Lena into: “What has brought you here?”
Lena eases a polite smile onto her face and stalls for some more time by taking a sip of her water before she looks into Kara’s smiling face and omits most of the truth by saying, “I just needed a change of scenery.”
Kara’s kind eyes wander over her face before she nods slowly, somehow picking up on the weight of all the unspoken words. “That’s why I came here, too,” she shares. “We had a loss in our family, and everyone dealt with it differently. My sister threw herself into work, my mother stayed in our childhood home to take care of what they’d built, but I needed space. So I came here and decided to turn this place into a sanctuary for the animals no one wanted.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Lena replies earnestly, heart aching in her chest in sympathy, hand reaching out to squeeze Kara’s. “You’ve built something beautiful out of it.”
“Thank you,” Kara replies with a small smile, squeezing back gently. “I’m just trying to give them the great life they deserve, like he did for me.”
“Well, I see all the love and trust they hold for you,” Lena points out, thinking back to the chickens that had immediately run to Kara and asked for cuddles, and the excited grunting of the pigs when she had come in to feed them. “I think they’re living their best life here with you.”
Kara’s eyes turn glassy at that, and Lena watches her blink away tears before she looks at Lena again and squeezes her hand one final time before she lets go. “Thank you. I really hope so.”
Lena looks over at Alex Jr. and Toto resting on their dog beds, not too far away from them, and then back to Kara. Trying to lift the heavy atmosphere, she says, “Well, after what you told me, Alex Jr. chose you and this sanctuary to have her puppies in. I’d say that’s a pretty big vote of confidence.”
Kara’s eyes light up at the mention of the puppies, just like Lena had hoped they would, and an excited smile spreads on her face. “I can’t wait to meet them.”
“I’ll definitely have to come visit again once they’re here,” Lena agrees, and lets her armour slip a little when she meets Kara’s eyes once more, “I’m really glad I met you today. I thought I’d need solitude and quiet to figure out how to move on with my life but I haven’t felt this content in a long while, here with you, Toto and Alex Jr. and-,” Lena starts counting with her fingers to jog her memory, “Mrs. Feathers, Sir Beaks, Lady Kluck, Ginger, Babs, Bunty, Mac, and Madame Coo,” she starts counting anew when she moves on to the next species, “Mrs. Calloway, Grace, Maggie, Abigail…”
Kara’s eyes get bigger and bigger the longer Lena keeps recounting the inhabitants of her sanctuary that she had met today. When Lena is finished, Kara stares at her with a wide smile, “I can’t believe you’ve already memorized all their names.”
Lena returns the smile hesitantly, suddenly conscious of her long and unnecessary monologue. “It’s easy when you’re such a great storyteller,” she replies, voice quiet.
“It probably also helps that most of them are named after fictional characters,” Kara chuckles with an easy smile, maybe picking up on Lena’s sudden self-consciousness.
Lena nods gratefully, only familiar with one particular name, “Toto is the dog from the Wizard of Oz, correct?”
“Yes,” Kara confirms. “It’s my favorite movie. I first discovered it when I was adopted by the Danvers family. Back then, I couldn’t even understand the language, but I’d watch it every day until I could recite every line.” A sorrowful smile has found its way onto Kara’s face, and Lena reaches out, offering her hand for Kara to take should she need comfort.
Lena had never thought of herself as a tactile person, always keeping a polite distance from acquaintances, friends, and even lovers outside of the bedroom, but with Kara, it’s different somehow. It’s ridiculous, really. Lena has only known Kara for a few hours, but in that time, the other woman had somehow managed to charm her way past Lena’s protective barriers one by one until Lena threw caution to the wind and allowed Kara in.
As far as it’s safe anyway.
“I’d love to watch it with you,” Lena replies earnestly.
Kara takes her hand shortly, smiling gratefully. “We could do a movie night tomorrow evening after the shopping trip, and once we’ve sorted everything out with your new home.”
“That sounds great,” Lena agrees.
It’s still light when Kara walks Lena home after their dinner, Toto and Alex Jr. scouting out the area in front of them.
“It takes approximately an hour to get to the closest city. We should find everything on your list there tomorrow,” Kara informs her. “We can also grab groceries from a store that is only a ten-minute drive from here, if you want to do that separately. Either way, I think we should leave around 9:30, ten at the latest. That way we can use the afternoon to install what we bought, and you have time to unpack all your things before our movie night.”
“Sounds good,” Lena agrees, heart warming in her chest at the excitement in Kara’s voice. While she had thought earlier how lucky she had been to stumble upon Kara’s sanctuary, she has now come to realize that her presence might also be beneficiary for Kara. Because even surrounded by all the animals and their love for her, there's something very familiar about Kara. It had taken Lena a while to figure out what exactly. Kara had laughed so loudly and smiled brightly and hid it so well. But when they reach Lena’s house and it's time to say goodbye, Lena sees it again. Kara’s wide smile shrinks, her laughter lines disappear, and her bright blue eyes lose their light.
She’s lonely.
Just like Lena.
“I was thinking,” Lena says then, eyes wandering over her new home's facade, from the peeling colors to the worn-down floorboards over the old furniture she can spot through the window and finally to Kara’s questioning face, “when you said you were handy, how much of that knowledge and skill set applies to renovating a house?”
Lena can see a bright smile forming anew as Kara’s eyes connect with hers. “Enough,” Kara assures her. “I’ve helped renovate my family's house before, and I can freshen up my knowledge online.”
“Great,” Lena smiles. “I’d like to informally hire you then. I can’t give you a contract or an official paper, but I will compensate you for your time and labor.”
“There’s no need,” Kara protests, folding her arms in front of her chest. “I’d love to help out.”
“Kara, you have a job and a sanctuary to run. If I take away some of your time on a regular basis I have to compensate you for that,” Lena argues, undermining her words by shortly petting Toto who walks by, “I don’t have to pay you directly if you’re uncomfortable with that but I could pay for the animal food or vet visits or your groceries. That’s perfectly legal.”
“I’m not so sure about the legal part,” Kara chuckles and loosens the grip on her well-defined upper arms, which at least helps Lena draw her eyes away and back to Kara’s face. “And really, you don’t have to pay me,” Kara repeats.
“There’s nothing illegal about me helping out a friend to pay for her expenses,” Lena shrugs, arching an eyebrow at Kara. “And if that friend happens to be helping me renovate my house out of gratitude, that’s just that. I’d win any court case easily.”
Kara laughs loudly at that, and butterflies swarm Lena’s stomach at the sound. “Alright,” Kara gives in. “We can sort that all out tomorrow. If you don’t mind, maybe I could come in and help you figure out where we start and what we should add to your list.”
“Of course,” Lena smiles, stepping aside to let Kara enter. Toto and Alex Jr. follow them, immediately starting to investigate the house. But all Lena can do is stand there rooted to the spot, suddenly struck by a whirlwind of emotions. Before her eyes, she sees a snapshot of herself the day before, crouched over her laptop in her dark and empty apartment, tears streaming down her face, alcohol down her throat. This was her reality just yesterday. And now… now the kindest and most gorgeous person she has ever met is standing in her impulsively bought house, helping her turn it into a real home.
Kara turns to her with shining eyes, sharing her ideas for improving the space, fingers rapidly pointing at things, while Alex Jr. joins Lena at her side, nose booping against her thigh to ask for pets. Lena blinks away tears while she crouches down to pet the dog, all the while nodding along to Kara’s propositions.
“I think for now we could start by deciding on a colour for the outside and add that to the list. Further improvements require more planning. We’ll go on another trip once we’ve figured that out,” Kara decides, hands on her hips. When she turns to Lena, she quickly adds, “If that’s fine by you, of course.”
“It is,” Lena confirms with a small smile. “Thank you, Kara,” she adds.
“Anytime,” Kara replies with an easy smile before she frowns and asks, “Um- but for what exactly?”
Lena chuckles, smile widening when she notices the blush spreading on Kara’s cheeks. She eventually locks eyes with Kara before she clarifies, “Everything.”
When Lena steps out into the cold morning air the next day, a surprise in the form of an overly excited Toto is awaiting her on her doorstep. As soon as she opens the door, he jumps up at her, tail wagging like crazy.
“Oh my god,” Lena laughs, petting the dog as best as possible with him continuously jumping at her and zooming away a few feet to do it again.
“Are you here to pick me up?” she asks eventually. As if he could understand her, Toto barks before asking for more pets. When his over-excitement has faded, Lena closes the door behind them and lets him lead her to Kara’s. They make the twenty-minute walk in fifteen which is mostly due to Toto’s fast pace but partly also to Lena’s excitement for the day.
Lena can’t remember waking up this hopeful and motivated in a long time. She feels rested and rejuvenated with the eight hours of sleep she got. Despite sleeping in a foreign environment, she has slept through the night for the first time in what feels like forever. So, when she reaches the sanctuary slightly out of breath, there’s already a smile on her face and a bounce to her step that Lillian would probably call childish and improper.
With Toto’s help, Lena quickly finds Kara, who is sitting on the ground of one of the enclosures. She turns slightly to grant Lena a wide smile when she notices her. Stepping closer, Lena can make out the reason for Kara's position: a brown feathered chicken with a black dot next to its beak is sitting in Kara’s lap and cooing happily with the gentle pets it’s receiving. Next to them is a basket with eggs, which Kara must have been collecting before she deviated from her plan to shower Babsi, as Lena identifies the chicken now, with love.
“Hey,” Kara greets her.
“Hey,” Lena replies with a warm smile. “Thank you for sending Toto to pick me up. Although I know the way, it was quite nice to have some company.”
“No need to thank me,” Kara replies. “He very much volunteered. I wasn’t even aware he knew how to do that.” She gives Toto, who has come up to greet her, a kiss between his ears and some scratches before she smiles up at Lena again and says, “He must really love you.”
“Oh,” Lena breathes, looking at Toto, who lies down next to Kara while watching her out of intelligent, warm brown eyes. Her heart aches a little in her chest with the unconditional love the dog is granting her after only a day. It’s a completely new experience – not that Lena knew much about love of any kind, growing up surrounded by narcissists and murderers and all. Lena can feel pressure building behind her eyes and blinks a few times before she says, “That’s… very sweet.”
When she meets Kara’s eyes again, the blonde is watching her closely with a soft smile on her lips. Lena looks away immediately, heat shooting into her cheeks. She knows Kara probably can’t read her too well, with all her protective walls in place, but still, Lena feels naked under her gaze.
“How does an omelet for breakfast sound?” Kara asks her then, gently putting down Babsi and taking the basket.
“Great,” Lena agrees with a polite smile, daring to meet the blonde’s eyes again.
“Good,” Kara smiles. “Because that is basically what I eat every morning.”
An hour later, after they’d eaten, cleaned up, and Kara had a serious chat with Toto and Alex Jr. to look after the farm in her absence, Lena straps herself into the passenger seat while Kara starts the ignition of her Honda. She needs a few tries, but as soon as it comes to life, loud rock music starts blasting through it. Kara immediately turns it off, turning to Lena with an apologetic look. “My sister used it last and seemed to forget that not everyone wants to be deaf by forty.” She hands Lena a small textile folder. “Pick what you like.”
When Lena opens it, she finds CDs neatly tucked into the protective film on each page, some original albums, and some burned to compose specific playlists. In the end, Lena settles on a burned CD with the name Good Vibes scribbled on it with marker and surrounded by little uneven dots that are probably supposed to represent stars. Lena carefully eases it into the CD slot, turning down the volume, and soon enough, “Call Me Maybe” starts playing.
Lena lets out an amused chuckle at the song choice and at the fact that Kara immediately starts humming along. It fits the picture of her that Lena has painted in her head through their previous interactions perfectly. And when Kara grins at her and starts wholeheartedly singing along to the chorus with a surprisingly beautiful voice, Lena can’t help but laugh loudly and raise her hands, moving along to the music and Kara’s performance.
If only her former self from a few days ago could see her now. She wouldn’t believe it.
“What do you think about this color?” Kara asks, holding up two gallons of lilac paint and looking expectantly. “It’s a bit richer, but I think it could fit well with the dark roof.”
Lena nods along, barely hearing any word Kara says, too fixated on the motion of Kara’s muscles underneath the thin shirt she chose to wear today. Her biceps bulge with the weight she’s lifting, but she doesn’t seem exhausted at all, easily placing the buckets back on the shelf and approaching the next when she spots another option. With a beige tone this time, she turns to Lena and excitedly tells her, “This is super simple, but if you prefer it, it would also work well.”
Lena nods once more, heat creeping up her neck when she blatantly stares at Kara’s arms again, hopefully passing it off as reading the label of the paint.
This is actually the fifth pair of buckets Kara chose to pick off the shelves and show to Lena instead of waiting for her to come close enough to read the label, but Lena wouldn’t dream of pointing that out to the blonde. If Kara got too tired, she’d stop on her own and they could browse the shelves together. And until then, well, there was no harm in just looking respectfully at Kara’s physique, was there?
Lena should really stop tempting fate like this.
She should learn her lesson and choke out these thoughts right when they start forming. She should keep a respectable distance with her body and in her mind and stay behind those sturdy walls she built for herself. What were they for if not to keep herself in check and in control? To stay steady even when a hurricane of misery wrecked through her life; to keep her shielded like a bunker deep in the earth, protecting her from dangerous things reaching her.
Like feelings.
Stupid, unreasonable feelings.
If this could even be called that.
Truth be told, Lena didn’t know much about her feelings. She knew about the tightness in her chest that made it difficult to breathe whenever Lillian or Lex talked down to her; the sudden sharp pain in her heart and unease in her stomach that meant it would be better to hide from Lillian’s loud voice; that glimmer of warmth seeping through her cold bones that made her hold her head high and her eyes meet theirs evenly whenever an approving nod was directed her way.
What Lena didn’t know what to do with was this giddiness spreading through her, awaking every cell in her body; this electricity, making her heart stutter in her chest and her stomach clench; this overwhelming warmth flowing through her system, reaching even the cold and dark spots that had never seen the light of day. This new sensation that Lena couldn’t quite categorize.
And all because of Kara Danvers and her babbly mouth that had grinned at her so brightly and told her she loved her.
Lena knew, of course, Kara couldn’t have meant it like that. She’d only met Lena yesterday after all, and hadn’t tried to be romantically involved in any way, which meant that Kara Danvers probably was just one of those people who threw the word “love” out lightly, and without care.
Which should dampen these stupid feelings in Lena’s body, or even better, make them die out. But they won’t.
Lena blames Lillian for that.
Maybe if she’d heard this sentence before, even only once in her life, it wouldn’t throw her off guard like it does now. Maybe her traitorous heart wouldn’t flutter so much in her chest, and her traitorous eyes wouldn’t water up and overflow with tears. Kara’s eyes would definitely not grow big and worried like they're doing now, and she wouldn't be scooching out of her booth to sit next to Lena and ask her what’s wrong with that soft and understanding voice of hers.
“I’m sorry if I said anything to hurt you,” Kara adds. “I really did have a great time today, and you’re such a wonderful person, Lena.”
Lena really tries to reply something to that, but the only thing coming over her lips is a sob, and- oh my god, she’s so pathetic .
Kara, above all, is kind though, so she just wraps her arms around Lena’s middle and pulls her close, murmuring comforting words into the crown of her hair. Eventually, Lena’s eyes dry up, and she relaxes into the embrace, closing her eyes to allow herself the unfamiliar comfort for just a little while longer.
“I’m sorry,” she says after a while, her words muffled by Kara’s throat that she is pressed against.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Kara replies, warm hands stroking gently over Lena’s back. “I’m here if you want to talk about it.”
“Thank you,” Lena replies and slowly pulls out of Kara’s embrace.
They had just finished their late lunch after completing their successful shopping trip, and were about to head home before going out once more to grab groceries. And now Lena had ruined the great day by suddenly crying for no reason at Kara’s kind words. She needed to fix it .
So, after taking a deep breath, she asks, “Do you want to have ice cream for dessert?” Finally daring to meet Kara’s eyes again, she adds, “You can have it in the car before we leave.”
Kara smiles softly at her as if she knows exactly what Lena is doing and agrees, “That would be great.”
Halfway through the drive back, during which Kara has been humming along to the music that is easing the silence between them, Lena decides that since she can’t share what had made her cry because it’s just too embarrassing, she can at least tell Kara a bit more about herself.
“I work in biomedical engineering,” Lena blurts out. “I develop tools and devices to advance medicine and make life easier for people.”
“That’s awesome, Lena,” Kara replies enthusiastically, not addressing the awkwardness of that sudden confession and instead asking further. “What do you like most about it?” She quickly glances at Lena with a happy smile before her eyes focus back on the empty but uneven road before them.
“Um- working in the lab and building the prototypes of devices before they go into production,” Lena answers truthfully. “I like creating something that’s never existed before with my own hands. It brings me a lot of joy.”
“What is something you have built? Might I know of anything?” Kara asks and turns down the music so they can stop raising their voices.
“Oh, I don’t believe so,” Lena replies, mind racing to think of any product that wouldn’t immediately connect her to LuthorCorp and the past, or rather, the very present, she’s trying to escape from. “A lot of the projects I worked on are still unreleased, and I did sign a non-disclosure agreement I have to abide by despite my contract ending.” At least she thought it would end with her running away and all. Was LuthorCorp even operating right now? It must be under investigation still.
“Oh, you’re changing jobs?” Kara wonders.
“Yeah,” Lena sighs. “I’m looking into it still, but I think a remote position would do me good – to give me some structure and a purpose.” Realizing how that sounded, she quickly adds, “And of course also help with my expenses for as long as I stay here.”
Kara must know that Lena possessed quite some assets with her buying a whole house and agreeing to pay Kara for her renovation work. But still, Lena didn’t want her to think she was some rich runaway, temporarily escaping her trivial difficulties before returning to her “real life”. Plus, a job would really do Lena good – that is, if she could get one with her last name basically being a synonym for murderer and evil.
Kara nods slowly before she asks in a neutral tone, “How long do you plan to stay here?” She doesn’t glance at Lena this time, and Lena is reminded of Kara’s sad eyes the day before, of the familiar loneliness she had found in them.
“I don’t know,” Lena answers truthfully. “But I just got here. I don’t plan to leave in the foreseeable future.” She looks at Kara’s relaxed face, hoping to have provided sufficient reassurance. “What about you? Are you planning to stay here indefinitely?”
“I don’t know,” Kara admits. “I miss my family, and I’d wish they’d have come with me or at least join me now, but it’s not looking like that’s gonna happen any time soon. My sister has started a new job in National City, and my adoptive mother is still in the same life back home in Midvale.” Kara shrugs before she glances at Lena again, “They seem to be doing good on their own, and I have all the animals to take care of. So I guess, I’m also not gonna leave any time soon.”
“Good,” Lena smiles. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Lena’s eyes widen in surprise when she notices Kara’s cheek turning red at that, and since she’s so empathic toward the other woman, her body decides to increase the blood flow in her cheeks as well in sympathy.
Later that day, when they have unloaded all their shopping and groceries and Lena has made good on her promise that had led to Kara’s questionable choice of words and Lena’s impromptu cry session earlier, and made potstickers for them, they settle on the couch with Toto and Alex Jr. to watch Kara’s favorite movie.
Like Kara had proclaimed the day before, she's able to recite every line from the movie as Lena finds out by watching Kara instead of the screen whenever she thinks she can get away without the blonde noticing. Every so often, her pink lips soundlessly form the words reaching Lena’s ears at the same time, while her blue eyes stay fixated on the screen. Lena thinks it’s adorable, but she’s also curious to know more. Kara had said she hadn’t known English when she had come to her adoptive family. So, what had her mother tongue been? Where had she been born and grown up before joining the Danvers family?
By how transfixed Kara is with the movie, Lena doesn’t dare to interrupt, patiently waiting for the film to end before she says, “You mentioned yesterday that this movie had helped you learn English.”
Kara looks at her in surprise but nods.
“Well, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s your mother tongue then?” Lena wonders. Her eyes wander over Kara’s tanned but light skin, her blonde curls, and cornflower blue eyes, trying to catalogue her phenotype on a world map. Somewhere in Europe, maybe? Like Lena herself?
“Oh, um, I don’t really talk about that,” Kara replies, suddenly looking anywhere but at Lena. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh,” Lena says, stomach dropping. What did she say wrong? Is Kara upset with her? “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry or, um, make you uncomfortable. I was just wondering, but you don’t owe me anything, so please just ignore the question.”
“It’s okay,” Kara reassures her, meeting her eyes again. There’s something in them that Lena can’t quite categorize. Apprehension? Indecision? Worry? “I guess I should have expected it. And thank you for understanding.”
“Of course,” Lena nods, searching Kara’s eyes for the puzzle piece she is missing.
Because she doesn’t understand.
Of course, she respects Kara’s boundary and won’t bring the topic up again, but she doesn’t understand it. Maybe it’s too painful for Kara to talk about her past before the Danvers? Now that Lena thinks of it, she hasn’t heard anything about Kara’s childhood before she came to Midvale. Maybe the wounds still felt too raw – Lena knew what that’d felt like, having lost her birth mother at age four and still not being able to talk about her death. Or maybe Kara was part of a witness protection program? Was she forbidden to talk about her past to stay safe in her new life?
“I’m really sorry,” Kara adds once more, eyes solely apologetic now. “I hope you enjoyed the movie.”
“I did,” Lena smiles politely. With a warmer smile, she adds, “I especially loved whenever Toto’s name was called out, and this Toto’s ears would perk up.” Lena looks over at the Border Collie dozing on the couch, ears pointed in their direction.
Kara laughs quietly at that and nods, “The same happens with Alex Jr. whenever my sister is visiting and I call for her, or the other way around.”
“I can imagine that,” Lena chuckles, picturing how the grim redhead Kara had shown her in a family picture on the wall would roll her eyes at that and mutter curse words under her breath. She seemed like the type.
Still, even with the trivial small talk they have transitioned into the atmosphere feels stilted. So when Kara offers to walk her home again, Lena agrees immediately, hoping they’re able to clear it up before they need to split for the night.
This time, however, only Toto joins them. Alex Jr. enjoys the pets Lena gives her before she leaves, but stays perched on her comfortable-looking dog bed, watching them out of half-lidded eyes. Kara notes that she must be exhausted from carrying around all the extra weight in her belly and gives her a treat before they step outside into the cold night air.
“I never asked this before, but when are the puppies due?” Lena wonders while Kara is closing the door behind her without locking it, as Lena can’t help but notice.
“In about two weeks,” Kara smiles, turning to her. “It’s going to be a big litter, so the vet will come to support her and me in delivering the puppies as soon as it starts.”
“Oh, have you done that before?” Lena asks.
“No, but I’ve read up on it,” Kara shrugs. “And Alex Jr. trusts me, so I should also be there for her in case she needs any help.”
Lena nods and offers, “I’m there for her, and you too, if you need any support in looking after the other animals or preparing meals?”
Kara gives her a soft smile in return that makes joy bloom in Lena’s chest, and a smile of her own comes to her lips. “Thank you, Lena.”
They continue walking in somewhat comfortable silence until Lena's dark house comes into view.
It’s Kara who is the first to speak again. “Since you cooked a delicious dinner for us, how about you come over for breakfast tomorrow again, before we start painting and planning the next steps for the house?” she offers. “I’ll even add some of the spinach you bought to your omelet.”
“That would be great,” Lena smiles, happy to see Kara actively trying to keep Lena close despite closing off after Lena’s question earlier.
“Cool,” Kara smiles. She steps aside to let Lena access her door and unlock it. “If you are open to it, you could accompany me to feed the animals tomorrow as well. You seemed to enjoy it a lot last time,” she adds.
Warmth spreads through Lena’s chest when she thinks back to Kara’s kind words supporting her and her firm hands guiding Lena’s unsteady ones. “I’d like that,” Lena replies, and turns around to Kara. “Do you want to come in for a nightcap or a cup of tea?”
“I’d love to, but I’d feel bad about leaving Alex Jr. alone for too long,” Kara declines. “But I’ll see you tomorrow at 7:30, yeah? We’ll feed everyone first, and then we can eat around 8 if it’s alright with you.”
“Of course,” Lena nods, giving Kara a small smile. Although she’s sad to see their time ending, there’s one good thing about it, too.
Yesterday, the blonde had hugged her shortly but warmly before leaving. And while Lena had already received a longer hug earlier today when Kara was comforting her, she can’t help but hope that Kara will initiate another now.
To Lena’s dismay, she has found that ever since their first meeting, in which Kara had figuratively and literally held Lena in her arms, Lena has grown addicted to the feeling that being held by Kara gave her. It wasn’t even sexual or romantic, not like her thoughts when she’d watch Kara’s muscles work from lifting heavy items or when she’d fixate on Kara’s soft pink lips and imagine them on her skin. No, instead, it was just… this sense of serenity.
Lena has found that when Kara wraps her arms around her, the world, her body, her mind, all comes to a halt, and there’s just calm and peace.
Safety.
Lena craves that feeling more than anything else. Well, she supposes, having a homicidal brother run rampage and make you watch him murder dozens of innocent people would do that to a person.
“Hey Lena, are you okay?” Kara’s voice sounds, pulling Lena out of her thoughts.
Lena blinks a few times before she automatically nods, “Yes, thank you.” Her eyes fixate on Kara’s worried blue orbs, and she adds, “Sorry, it’s just been a long day.”
“Okay,” Kara nods, eyes wandering over Lena’s face as if she’s seeing through Lena’s lie and looking for the truth. “I’d better let you catch some sleep then.”
“Thank you,” Lena says again, hands nervously fidgeting in front of her lap, no matter how hard she tries to keep them still. Was Kara going to leave just like that? Had Lena spoiled her chance for another hug?
Kara watches her closely for a moment before she gently takes Lena’s wrist and slowly pulls her closer and into her embrace.
At first, Lena’s body is rigid, surprised by the sudden contact, but soon she relaxes into it, pressing herself even closer against Kara and wrapping her arms around Kara’s torso in return. Kara only tightens her hold on Lena, and Lena can’t stop a small sigh from escaping her lips.
The hug feels intimate; way more intimate than any before it, and that feeling only grows the longer it lasts. Lena probably would be embarrassed and upset with herself for letting it continue this long now. She would worry about what Kara was thinking about her, if she would see her as clingy. She’d step away and apologize, scared that Kara would have picked up on the attraction Lena is holding for her.
But that’s not the case because Lena’s world has narrowed down to the warmth surrounding her; to the steady heartbeat filling her eardrum that is pressed against Kara’s chest; to the warmth spreading through her numb body, easing her tense muscles and washing away her worries. All her senses are filled with Kara. With the calmness she radiates, with her earthy and comforting smell, with the sturdiness of her body keeping her steady, like a rock unwavering in the raging sea.
Lena never wants it to end.
Eventually it does, however. But when Kara steps away with a soft smile, her warmth and serenity stay with Lena. When she wishes her a restful night until they’ll see each other again in the morning, contentment spreads through Lena’s chest at the prospect of the new day. And when Kara calls for Toto, who had wandered off and they wave/bark goodbye and make their way back to the farm, Lena’s heart aches to see them walk away because it overflows with all the love she holds for them, with no place to go to for now.
It’s absurd really, Lena’s only been here for two days, but never before has she felt this connected with life.
That feeling only grows with every passing day.
Lena had stumbled upon the sanctuary and met Kara only two weeks ago, and yet she already feels so settled and content with her new life.
Mornings are for feeding the sanctuary's inhabitants and renovation work, during which Lena cooks lunch, and after a few days, even manages to multitask enough not to burn the meal and still watch Kara's muscles work. Afternoons are for remote working together while spending time with the animals. Evenings are for settling the animals for the night, cooking dinner together, and getting comfortable on the couch, just talking or watching something.
From waking up to sunshine filtering in through her window and stepping outside to Toto already waiting for her, to greeting Kara with a hug before attending to the animals and their needs. From spending their whole day together before the moon supersedes the sun and Kara and Toto walk Lena home, to lingering at Lena’s doorstep before another hug signals the end of the day, and Lena closes the door, watching until their silhouettes blend with the dark night.
They have found their rhythm.
Lena had learned all of Kara’s favorite foods and cooked many of them; she had watched more movies in the few weeks than in her twenty-two years of life prior, and with time, she even managed to befriend almost all of the sanctuary’s inhabitants one by one. It seemed that with Kara or Toto by her side, some patience and pockets full of treats, any animal heart could be swayed.
A few more weeks, and Lena was sure that even Donkey the horse would finally come to like her. At least he had grown somewhat used to her by now and accepted her to feed him and lead him out of his stable in the mornings and back in at night. But to be able to brush him and play with him like Kara did, Lena needed to work harder to gain his trust.
In contrast, Babsi the chicken had started asking Lena for pets on day three, and Maggie the cow demanded scratches on day five. In both instances, Kara had been even more delighted than Lena herself, whipping out her phone and taking dozens of pictures – one of which had become her phone background, which in return had filled Lena’s body with so much giddiness that she didn’t know what to do with it.
In the end, she had settled on using that energy to race Toto through the stables. Kara, of course, had taken more pictures and filmed it to determine the winner, which had been Lena since Toto had gotten distracted by Lena throwing one of his toys to the side shortly before the finish line. While Kara had laughed loudly, Alex Jr. had watched them through tired eyes, resting next to the blonde. It was almost time for her puppies to be born, and she had gotten so round that walking longer distances was too much of a struggle for her. To make her still feel included, Kara had started carrying Alex Jr. around in her arms when they’d go outside, while Lena would grab her dog bed, so she’d be comfortable.
This morning, Alex Jr. hadn’t even gotten up to accompany Lena to the stables like she usually would and instead opted for napping more. Hopefully, she’d feel up to sitting with them in the afternoon, at least to get some fresh air and a little bit of movement. Kara had some business to attend to in the city, so there was no way to get Alex Jr. out of the house if she didn’t get up to walk herself.
Kara had driven off after welcoming Lena with an already prepared breakfast – like usual, an omelet with the eggs she had collected earlier, a cup of coffee, and some self-baked sourdough bread. After one of their long hugs which had become inveterated in every greeting and goodbye, Kara had promised to be back in the early afternoon to at least still do some renovation work.
That leaves Lena alone in Kara’s small garden, catching up on work for a remote job with a foreign company she had landed. She has just sent off another email when Toto comes running toward her, barking loudly. He looks agitated, tail still, and body rigid. Lena’s heart drops to her stomach, not out of fear for herself but for what has Toto this alarmed. She immediately closes her laptop and grabs her phone, already dialing Kara’s number. Lena follows Toto, and as soon as he leads her to the house and not the stable, Lena presses call, already suspecting what it is about.
Soon enough, she reaches the room Kara had specifically emptied and prepared for Alex Jr. and her puppies, and finds the dog lying on her side and whining. While her phone goes to voicemail, Lena curses, assessing the situation. First of all, she makes sure to get Toto out of the house, not to stress Alex Jr. out more than she already is. Then she calls Kara again, and when she only reaches her voicemail once more, she leaves a message explaining the situation before she calls the vet.
While Lena knows that dogs usually are fine delivering by themselves and should just be monitored, she also remembers Kara’s comments about the vet expecting a big litter and wanting to accompany the dog during birth in case anything goes wrong. When she only reaches the vet’s voicemail as well, tears spring to Lena’s eyes. She tries one more time before she leaves a message behind, then takes a deep breath to calm herself. Kara has told her enough about how she was going to handle the situation and what her steps in preparing the room for Alex Jr. had been. So Lena pushes all the anxiety and worry away and focuses. Her mind quietens down in an instant, and all the information she has gathered through her conversation with Kara comes to the forefront.
When she enters the room again, she finds the dog settled into her whelping box, already straining. Lena quickly goes through a few tasks to prepare for what is about to happen before she settles down in another corner of the room, just watching and encouraging the dog with a calm voice. She sets a timer on her phone and opens her notes app to keep track of the progress, witnessing Alex Jr. birth her first puppy within an hour. Just like she’s supposed to, she attends to it right after, and Lena can breathe easier when she sees it move and breathe, and feed on its own. She scoots a little bit closer, always checking for Alex Jr.’s body language, but the dog doesn’t give her much attention, too focused on her pup.
The same process starts anew when the dog starts straining again, only now Lena’s phone vibrates in her pocket with an incoming call from Kara. Lena picks up immediately.
“Kara,” she greets her. “Where are you?”
“I’m an hour out. I finished early,” Kara replies. “I’m sorry I missed your call. Is everything okay? I haven’t had a chance to listen to your message yet.”
“Alex Jr. is having her puppies,” Lena answers. “Everything is going well, but I couldn’t reach the vet yet.”
Kara is silent for a moment before she asks, “How far along is she?”
“The first puppy is here, and the second is on its way. She cleaned it and did everything she was supposed to do. I had to leave Toto outside the house, though. He was too agitated,” Lena answers.
“Good, that’s good thinking,” Kara praises her easily. “Is she in her whelping box? Did you fill up the water and food bowl and turn on the heating pad?”
“Yes to all of that,” Lena replies. When she looks over at Alex Jr., she can see the second puppy appearing already and watches closely for any kind of problems, but just like before, everything seems to be going as smoothly as possible.
“Thank you so much, Lena,” Kara replies, “I can’t wait to meet them. I’ll drive by the vet and will be there in around fifty minutes. Call me if anything changes, okay?”
“I will,” Lena replies. “Drive safe.”
Two more puppies are born before Kara arrives at the house. Lena had to help clean the third puppy since Alex Jr.’s contractions started up soon after and is helping it find the right place to feed, when she hears the key turning in the door. Just when she steps away, Kara enters the room with soft steps, eyes fixated on the dog and her newborns. When she reaches Lena and looks at her, there is a wide smile on her face and tears in her eyes.
“They’re so tiny,” Kara whispers, before she wraps Lena in her arms, pulling her close. “I thought they’d be bigger since she’s such a big dog.”
Lena allows herself to close her eyes and lean into the embrace, all the suppressed worry and anxiety easing away in Kara’s presence. “They’ll grow,” she reassures her.
“I know,” Kara replies, easing her hold on Lena and stepping away. She crouches down next to Alex Jr., eyes scanning over the puppies and the dog.
“Where’s the vet?” Lena wonders.
“She said to call if there are complications or once the delivery exceeds the twelve hour time frame,” Kara replies. “She expects the litter to be in the double digits and needs to check up on Alex Jr. and the puppies by then, since complications are more likely when the mom is already exhausted.”
Lena nods, sitting down in her spot near the wall. “It’ll still be quite a few hours until then.”
“If you want to take a break, you can go outside,” Kara offers, settling next to Lena. “You should definitely eat and drink something.”
“I’ll wait until the next puppy is here,” Lena decides, not wanting to abandon Alex Jr.
“Okay,” Kara agrees, laying an arm around Lena’s shoulder like she sometimes does when they’re watching a movie in the evening and Lena is freezing even with a blanket wrapped around her. And just like then, Lena leans into Kara’s side, resting her head on her muscular but comfortable shoulder. “Alex Jr. is so lucky to have you.”
“And you,” Lena replies.
It takes twenty-two hours for all puppies to be born. Just like the vet predicted, Alex Jr. gets tired in the end and leaves the work of cleaning her puppies and severing their cords to them. Lena is the one to do that for puppy number sixteen, the runt of the litter. Thankfully, the puppies and their mother are all healthy, and the vet leaves them with clear instructions for their care and a tired smile at nine the next morning.
Since the puppies need to be fed every two hours, they create a schedule and get the puppy formula that Kara had bought the week before in good foresight.
Kara protests when Lena insists on helping out throughout the nights as well, but once Lena points out that what matters most is giving the puppies the best care possible and that Kara couldn’t feasibly take care of them and all the other animals alone, Kara caves and makes up the bed in her guest room for Lena.
And just like that, more steps are added to their routine, and they fall into a new rhythm, one that ties their lives together even more closely.
The same day, Lena packs a suitcase to stay at Kara’s. She showers in Kara’s bathroom, sleeps in Kara’s home, and day by day leaves her own marks over it. Lena panics at first when Kara notices too – when she points out that Lena’s shampoo smells really good or that Lena’s books on the living room table sound really interesting.
But Lena soon realizes that Kara likes seeing her things at her place, that she even creates spaces for Lena’s items to go. Lena tries not to think too much of it when Kara buys another bookshelf for the living room, or when Lena stumbles upon boxes of the coconut water she likes to drink in the pantry. She smothers the warmth growing in her chest quickly whenever Kara smiles brightly at her every time Lena puts on one of Kara’s hoodies, and she suppresses the brilliant smile threatening to show when Kara pulls her blanketed body into hers and they basically end up cuddling on the couch.
The puppies grow with time. After two weeks, they open their eyes and ears, and although still very wobbly on their feet, they come up to them during feeding time, asking for seconds. Luckily, they each have certain features that make them distinguishable, and neither Lena nor Kara falls for it.
Alex Jr. is still more tired, but with time, she too goes back to being playful and active. Toto watches the puppies through the dog gate at the door, sharing his toys with them, not really understanding why they won’t play with him. Kara and Lena make sure to also shower him and the sanctuary's other inhabitants in lots of love, especially since caring for the puppies takes up a lot of their time.
The puppies grow bigger and bigger and get more active, and while Lena loves watching them flourish and their personalities come out, she also dreads the moment they’ll be big enough not to need their constant attention anymore, and she’ll have to go back to her cold and empty house. But when the time comes, and the puppies are weaned and solely rely on water and solid food, and Lena meekly offers to move back, Kara shrugs, “We like having you here. So if you’re comfortable, why don’t you stay?”
And so Lena does.
Lena has never known peace like this.
She has never slept so soundly throughout the nights and has never felt so joyful every new day; she has never worried so little and laughed so much. Because Lena had never felt so comfortable with someone before. She had never hugged someone so tightly, had never leaned on their strong shoulder, had never let them close.
And while that was what had kept her safe her whole life, Lena had learned to let go, to let Kara in as far as she could. She told her about herself, her wounds, and her mistakes, and opened up about her interests and hobbies. For the first time in her life, Lena had made herself vulnerable and been rewarded for it.
Kara hadn’t used her knowledge against Lena, she hadn’t attained her trust to gain advantage over her, or call in favors. No, instead, she had taken the new information to make life easier and more fulfilling for Lena. When Lena had shared that she liked puzzles since they helped her calm her mind, Kara had bought three 1000-piece puzzles and cleared a table in the corner of the living room for Lena to work on them. And when Lena had confessed to struggling with relaxing because unproductivity made her feel guilty, Kara had made it her job to actively pressure Lena into resting and taking time for herself.
Sometimes with all the attention and care she receives, Lena feels like she’s one of Kara’s rescues, that, like Alex Jr., lost and alone, she had by luck stumbled upon this safe haven and into Kara’s warm embrace. Of course, with all she’s done and enabled her brother to do in the past, Lena is not deserving of it in the least. She knows that well, is reminded of it every time she opens her phone’s browser and stumbles upon breaking news articles about her brother’s trial on her discovery tab.
So when someone rings the doorbell at the house one morning, Lena's stomach drops instantly, and sadness washes over her at the part of her life that is ending now.
When she opens the door to Jack’s apologetic face, she’s not surprised in the least. He doesn’t try to beat around the bush and instead hands her a letter. “I’m sorry, Lena. They need you to testify in court.”
Lena can count the days she has left with Kara on one hand. Her hearing date is the 24th of March, which leaves her with three days before she has to leave the happiest period of her life behind and find a new place to stay. In a few years, Lena will probably look back on this time and not believe it truly happened. She’ll scroll through the countless photos of the puppies and animals and Kara, and numb her sadness over losing them with alcohol.
But it’s still better than the alternative.
While she had been in her brother’s shadow her whole life and therefore rarely been caught on camera, once Lena testified on his televised trial, everyone would know how she looked and who she was. Just like everyone else, Kara would detest her. And Lena couldn’t bear to ever see anything but kindness on the blonde’s face. She’d rather remember her time here with longing and sadness than have these memories destroyed by her last name, too.
So Lena makes the most of it. She spoils Kara with her favorite foods, taking snapshots with her mind of Kara’s sparkling blue eyes and her carefree laughter. She plays with the puppies and pets all the animals, even Donkey, who must feel pitiful for her since he lets her scratch his head without complaint. She takes loads of pictures, trying to capture the joy and happiness she feels here, as if her photos are time capsules she could open in the future to transport her back to these moments and re-experience them all again. She wishes she had that kind of imagination.
When Thursday evening comes around and her last day in this life nears its end, the almost manic plastered-on positivity leaves Lena’s body, and she feels herself growing panicked. Not even Kara’s arm that is wrapped around her, and the warmth of her presence, can ease the feeling. The ever-present countdown in Lena’s mind is nearing its end, and with every second she loses, Lena feels a part of herself dying out too. Her happiness goes first, her hope second, her calmness last. And when the anxiety overtakes her and Lena excuses herself to the bathroom, it feels like the dam breaks completely and all the sadness and anger and fear wash over her.
Lena’s selfish. She doesn't want to lose this. She wants to keep Kara and Toto and Alex Jr. and the puppies in her life. She wants to pet Babsi in the morning and scratch Maggie and Abigail every afternoon. She wants to watch the pigs play with their red ball, and the sheep run over to her for cuddles.
Lena wants to hide and obtain a new identity so she can keep living this fake life, this sole period of sanity and happiness she’s ever been granted.
Tears start rolling down her cheeks, then, sobs collecting in her throat, and anxiety gripping her heart. What would Kara think when she sees her in the news? Would she feel betrayed that Lena hadn’t trusted her? Would she feel disgusted about who Lena had pretended to be when all she’s ever been is rotten?
A gentle knock on the door pulls Lena out of her thoughts, and to her surprise, she can feel herself almost hyperventilating, breathing shallow and fast, and dizziness washing over her. “Can I come in?” Kara asks. “I can hear that you’re not doing well.”
Lena shakes her head, gripping the cold sink to crouch down and catch her breath again. Of course, Kara can’t see her, so once she can somewhat speak, she says, “Don’t know.” It’s not the ‘No’ she was aiming for, but to be honest, Lena is starting to panic more. Her breathing won’t calm down, and the tactics she’d use to stash her emotions away are not working, leaving her helpless. Lena rests her head against the wall. It feels cool against her sweaty skin.
Her ears register whining before Kara’s voice sounds again, “Please let me help you, Lena. I’ll come in, okay?”
Lena watches the door handle closely, fear gripping her heart, and she has to remind herself that she’s not in that place anymore, and it won’t be Lillian storming in when she lets her guard down.
“Okay,” Lena breathes, not sure if Kara could even hear it, but soon after the door handle is gently pushed down, and Kara maneuvers herself into the bathroom, keeping a whining Toto out. She slowly walks over to Lena and crouches down next to her, leaning her back against the wall.
Kara doesn’t ask what’s going on and instead crosses her hands over her chest, intertwining her thumbs and starts tapping one hand, then the other against where her heart should be sitting. Then she starts breathing in, holding her breath, and breathing out soundly. Lena immediately picks up on Kara’s intent and follows her example, tapping against her chest and drawing in shuddering breaths.
There’s a lot of resistance in her lungs, and she feels like she is actively making it worse, and less and less oxygen is reaching her brain. Black dots start dancing before her eyes. But then Kara scootches closer, her knee touching Lena’s leg, shoulder meeting shoulder, and the resistance eases up, and Lena’s ears stop ringing.
When her breathing has somewhat calmed down, Kara tentatively opens her arms for Lena, and Lena pushes all the nagging voices about how she doesn’t deserve this away and lets herself be held. She closes her eyes shut, gripping onto Kara as if Lena is drowning in the open sea and Kara is the last piece of wreckage keeping her afloat. Kara doesn’t say anything about that either and just tightens her grip around Lena’s torso, pulling her closer and basically into her lap.
“I’ve had a lot of panic attacks as a kid,” Kara confesses, then, with a soft voice. “After my parents died, I was trapped in a small space for what felt like forever, and whenever I’d find myself in confined spaces, I’d start hyperventilating because it would take me right back there.”
Lena squeezes Kara’s shoulders and mumbles into her throat, she’s pressed against, “I’m sorry that happened to you. That’s terrible.”
“It was,” Kara agrees. “Whenever I’d close my eyes, I could see it all happening again. How they’d sent me away to save me before my home exploded. Before-” Kara stops for a moment before she whispers, “before my planet exploded.”
Lena’s heart misses a beat when she realizes what Kara had just shared with her. “You’re an alien?” Lena asks, still holding on tightly to Kara, although fear starts churning in her stomach.
“Yes,” Kara confirms. “I came to Earth when I was thirteen.”
The tension in Lena’s stomach eases when she starts counting back the years. But she still finds herself asking, “What was the name of your home planet?”
“I’m from Krypton,” Kara replies, and Lena freezes.
“Like Superman?” Lena croaks, hoping to have remembered it wrong.
“Yes, he’s my younger cousin, actually. It’s a bit complicated to explain,” Kara shrugs.
For a moment, Lena’s world narrows down to her heart pounding in her chest and the blood rushing in her ears before she detaches herself from Kara and scrambles away.
When she meets Kara’s eyes again, they seem confused at first, then pained. “I’m not going to hurt you, Lena,” Kara says, voice thick.
Lena shakes her head vigorously, breath starting to catch in her lungs once more as her breathing quickens, turning shallow. What had she done?
Lena can actively see her life crumbling away before her eyes, sees the joyful memories of her time here turn dark and tainted. Fate had always been cruel to Lena, had her stranding at the Luthor mansion at age four, had her brother turn psychopathic out of envy, and now had her cross paths and fall for the one person she should have never met.
“Lena?” Kara asks, voice quivering. There are tears in her eyes now, and Lena’s heart breaks in her chest. “What’s going on?”
“I’m sorry,” Lena rasps. “I need to-” she tries to catch her breath, “to leave.”
“Why?” Kara just asks, and the tears start rolling down her cheeks then.
“I’m sorry,” Lena just croaks again, getting up on wobbly legs. There's still not enough oxygen reaching her lungs, and the world starts spinning around her. Her hand slips on the wall, but when she falls, Kara is suddenly in her space, steadying her.
“You need to calm down first, or you are going to hurt yourself,” Kara says quietly, avoiding Lena’s eyes. ”I can leave the room to give you space.”
Lena nods, letting Kara help her lie down. Although she’s sweating a lot, shivers start running through Lena’s body now. She barely registers Kara coming back with a pillow and blanket.
“I’m going to prop up your legs,” Kara informs her before she gently lifts them and puts them on what Lena assumes to be a chair.
“I am going to leave once you’ve calmed down a bit,” Kara informs her then, and Lena can suddenly feel her warmth next to her on the floor. “Let’s breathe together for a bit.”
Like before, Kara starts deeply inhaling, holding her breath for a moment before she soundly exhales. Lena can also hear her tapping her chest like before. Since Lena’s own arms seem way too heavy to move now, she just tries to follow Kara’s breathing along.
It gets worse at first, but with time, she’s able to breathe in more deeply, and her body stops shivering too.
Kara stays with her even after her breathing has returned to its normal rhythm. They lay like that, unmoving and quiet, until Lena slowly sits up and looks at Kara. Deep down, she has known it all along, but actually watching Kara’s sad but kind blue eyes on her makes Lena realize that Kara did deserve the truth, even if it would hurt her more. That way, she could find closure for their time together and know that it’s all been Lena’s fault and that Kara had done nothing wrong.
“I have to testify in court tomorrow,” Lena admits, voice quiet. She doesn’t dare to look at Kara, unable to watch her face transform once she’ll know the truth about Lena. “My brother… he murdered dozens of people. I helped him develop the armory that did that.” Lena’s voice turns resolute when she adds, “He tried to kill your cousin.”
There’s a moment of silence, then, “You’re Lena Luthor.”
Lena looks up in surprise when she doesn’t find any hostility in Kara’s voice. And when her eyes meet Kara’s, she can find none of the many emotions she’d imagine reflected in them after her confession. Instead, there’s just sadness.
“Why are you not angry?” Lena wonders, pressure building behind her eyes. “I helped him develop that technology to take Superman out. I enabled him to murder all these people.”
“You didn’t know about his intentions. You thought it was for a different purpose,” Kara defends her in a matter-of-fact voice as if she had been there herself and witnessed everything firsthand. “Don’t you remember telling me all this, disguising it as a corruption case and great fallout at your latest firm?”
“But I lied to you!” Lena protests. “I downplayed it and misled you. And even if I didn’t know about his intentions, something felt off. I should have questioned him.”
“You loved him,” Kara replies, hand reaching out to squeeze Lena’s. “That blinded you to the person he had become.”
Lena shakes her head and withdraws her hand, anger bubbling in her stomach. Why could Kara not just be furious with her like she was supposed to be? “Why are you so understanding?” she snaps.
“Why do you want me to hate you so bad?” Kara counters, voice way too kind. It’s soft and gentle, but it breaks right through Lena’s defenses nevertheless. Something comes loose in Lena then.
“It’s what I deserve,” she whispers. It’s what I do.
Kara just wraps her arms around Lena, pulling her close. When the tears start spilling, Kara’s hand starts gently rubbing over Lena’s back. “You’re a good person, Lena. You just trusted the wrong people,” Kara declares.
Lena’s too tired to protest, so she just lets Kara pick her up and carry her back into the living room.
Toto immediately comes up to them, nuzzling against Lena’s side, licking any part of skin he can reach, when they settle on the sofa with Lena’s head resting in Kara’s lap. Kara pets him gently until he settles down next to them. Even Alex Jr. leaves her puppies to come check on them as Lena finds out when her face is suddenly shadowed from the light. Big brown eyes look down at her when she blinks hers open, and then a coarse tongue licks over her face. Lena wipes it clean with her sleeve right after, but gives some pets in return, grateful for the love both dogs are showing her.
She wonders how they’d react to Lex if they’d ever met him. Would they growl at him? Would they protect Lena from him?
Her heart constricts in her chest when she thinks about facing him again tomorrow. She had been the one leading the police to his location and taping their conversation after all. Did he know? Was he going to send someone to get revenge on her once he knew where she was?
“I turned Lex in,” Lena finds herself suddenly confessing. “I approached the police and let them wire me to get evidence. He kidnapped me and made me watch as he turned the sun red. He confessed everything to me.”
Kara weaves her fingers through Lena’s hair before she says, “I want to come with you tomorrow. It’s an open trial, and I can get a seat through a contact.”
“Absolutely not,” Lena protests. “If he finds out who you are, you’ll become a target.”
Before her eyes, she can see Lex’s eyes turn malicious as he sees Kara, his mind plotting on how to hurt her, too.
“He won’t,” Kara replies. “I’ll just be an assistant to my contact. He’s a reporter. And I can protect myself, as you know.”
Lena sighs, hands twisting, “I don’t know, Kara. You’ll be a target as soon as anyone finds out you have any kind of relation to me.” Just like Lena had been targeted by the media and the people she’d trusted, as soon as Lex's crimes had been discovered.
“I won’t interact with you,” Kara promises. “I just think it’s hard enough to go to court and have to face your brother. One friendly face in the crowd is the least you should have.”
Lena stays quiet for a moment, truly considering Kara’s offer. How she could look in her direction for strength, how she’d be surrounded by Lex and Lillian and all these people who were just waiting for her to slip up. Kara would be a light in the darkness, guiding her, giving her hope and strength.
“You have to wear a disguise,” Lena decides, too tired to fight her selfish needs anymore. “That’s the only way I’ll agree to this.”
“Done,” Kara easily accepts.
Tears start filling Lena’s eyes then, and she presses her face into Kara’s stomach in an attempt to hide them. Kara, of course, is way too attentive and immediately picks up on it. “Hey, what is it?” she asks, stroking Lena’s hair.
“I’m just so afraid,” Lena confesses, “and thankful. I don’t know how I’d do it alone.”
She really didn’t. After spending the last months here with Kara and the animals, all her protective mechanisms had grown rusty and left her vulnerable. She’d be defenseless against Lex and Lillian’s emotional manipulation tomorrow. They knew exactly what buttons to press, and Lena had forgotten how to unplug the controller.
“I got you,” Kara promises. “You’ll have everyone here to come back to after the trial. He’s not part of your life anymore, Lena. Lex will go to jail and spend the rest of his days there. Superman will ensure that.”
Lena nods slowly, trying to believe that. “He might come after me,” she still points out. “If he knows I gave him up – and after tomorrow, he definitely will – he’ll make me pay for that.”
“Let his henchmen come,” Kara shrugs. “They’ll have no idea what hit them.”
Lena lets out a half-laugh, half-sob at that and looks up at Kara, who is smiling down at her. “I can’t believe you’re real,” she admits.
“Well, I am,” Kara grins. Her face gets more serious when she replies, “And I’m on your side. You’re not alone.”
Tears spring to Lena’s eyes again, but she doesn’t try to hide this time. “I couldn’t ask for anyone better,” she smiles.
“Because I have superpowers?” Kara chuckles.
“Because you believe in me,” Lena replies earnestly. “And you have the kindest and most caring heart I’ve ever seen.”
“Well, someone has to,” Kara replies, eyes wandering over Lena’s face. “Since you can’t seem to see what a kind and beautiful soul you are.”
Lena’s instinct is to chuckle at that and make a self-deprecating joke to combat the unease that accompanies the compliment, but for some reason, her chest starts filling with a whole other feeling. Her eyes are glued to Kara’s face: to her golden locks framing it so beautifully, to her blue orbs that are shining with something Lena can’t quite categorize, to her pink lips that are pulled into a small smile.
Kara’s hand detaches from Lena’s scalp to rest on her cheek, where she gently brushes against her skin, tracing over the contour of her cheekbone. “You’re beautiful inside and out, Lena,” Kara breathes. “And anyone that has made you believe differently doesn’t deserve you in their life.”
Kara carefully catches the fresh tears spilling from Lena’s eyes with her thumbs, gently cradling Lena’s face in between her palms. And when Lena sits up and turns to Kara, they don’t let go, and instead start pulling her close. In the end, Lena is the one leaning in to cross the last bit of distance between them, brushing her lips gently against Kara’s. She kisses her tenderly, with wonder and gratefulness and love, even if she wouldn’t dare to admit the latter yet.
Kara’s lips are soft and warm, and she tastes sweet, like the gummy bears she had been munching earlier on the couch. One of her hands leaves Lena’s face to wrap around her torso instead and pull her closer. Lena settles on Kara’s lap without breaking the kiss, and although she can feel their bodies closely pressing against each other and their hearts racing, the kiss stays light and chaste.
When they split apart, Lena finds Kara smiling softly at her. She looks so beautiful that Lena has to bend forward and steal another quick kiss, still not quite believing she could do that now, that Kara likes her too. Kara kisses her back gently, and they get lost in each other once again until they hear the tapping of countless tiny feet filling the room.
Lena pulls away to see puppies surrounding the couch.
“They must have somehow unlocked the gate,” Kara notes.
“It was probably Maple,” Lena guesses. “I’m telling you, he’s way too smart for his age.” She climbs off Kara’s lap to start collecting the puppies and take them back to their room. After all sixteen are accounted for, they lock the gate again, furthermore securing it with a tie. Alex Jr. is tall enough to climb over it, so she’d have access to the puppies nevertheless.
Once they return to the living room and Lena catches a glimpse of the time, dread starts filling her chest again. She needed to get on her way in less than seven hours. As if Kara could feel her anxiety – Could she? Could she hear her heartbeat ? – she wraps her arms around Lena and pulls her into a hug.
“Let's get ready for bed. You need to rest at least a little.” Kara presses a kiss against the side of her head and suggests, “You could talk me through tomorrow and your testimony. Maybe that could help you feel more at ease?”
Lena nods slowly and follows Kara to the bathroom. “After the trial, I’ll be free from them,” she says out loud, trying to encourage herself, but it comes out more like a question.
“You will be,” Kara reassures her. “There’s no way Lex will walk freely, and after what you told me about your mother, I doubt she’d move to the middle of nowhere just to stay in your life and berate you. And the evil henchman, I have handled."
Lena wraps her arms around Kara’s middle, pressing her face into the crook of her neck. “Thank you,” she murmurs.
“Nothing to thank me for,” Kara replies, holding her tightly. “Just doing my job.”
“Your job?” Lena questions.
“As your girlfriend,” Kara clarifies, voice steady and determined like she’d known all along they’d end up here.
And maybe she did. Maybe she’d picked up on Lena’s interest or had been working toward this. They had been growing closer and closer, cuddling and hugging, and living together for the past month after all. Maybe it hadn’t been all platonic from Kara’s side either, like Lena had assumed.
Now she just pulls Kara even tighter in response, fingers boring into her shirt. “I thought I’d lose you today,” Lena confesses quietly. “I thought you’d despise me for who my family is and who that makes me. Instead, you stepped even closer and tied yourself to me, to the burden of my family name and my brother’s crimes.” Lena takes a step away then, clasping Kara’s hands in hers and meeting her gaze. “I know you can handle yourself, but I just hope you’re truly prepared for what being with me will entail.” Her heart hammers in her chest, fingers gripping onto Kara, but she needs her to know, needs her to make that decision again with all the information. “I don’t ever want to ever leave here,” Lena shares, “but my family still owns LuthorCorp. When Lex is persecuted, the responsibility will fall either to Lillian or to me. I don’t know yet what to do, but I might have to sort out the mess he made, or Lillian will just continue with what he started.”
“I think I am ready for any case,” Kara replies earnestly. “I care about you so much, and I will do anything in my power to protect you. My cousin is already protecting the people of Metropolis from threats, maybe it’s time I start taking on more responsibility too.”
“If that is something you’d like to do, I’ll support you,” Lena promises, although a tight knot starts forming in her stomach immediately. Lex had proven that being Super couldn’t protect someone from being harmed. Even if he had failed to kill a Kryptonian, there’d be more people like him in the future. What were the chances that Kara would always come out on top?
“It’s nothing that we have to discuss tonight,” Kara reassures her, squeezing her hands. “Let's take one day at a time.”
Notes:
Me reading the last paragraphs to my gf:
Me: “What were the chances that Kara would always come out on top?”
Her (smirking): “With Lena? 100 percent.”
Chapter 2: Epilogue
Summary:
A little epilogue to round it all off...
Chapter Text
With an exhausted sigh, Lena closes her laptop for the day after adding yet another meeting to her calendar. She takes a sip of her water and gives herself a moment to rest, eyes taking in the sea of green spreading behind the house like she does every time she needs a breather from work.
When Lena had decided to take over LuthorCorp and move it to a new city, she had known it would be a tremendous amount of work. But fueled by the memory of Lex’s joyous laughter at watching the judges die at his trial after he had them poisoned, and Lena’s determination to set things right for everyone that suffered at his hands, she had taken up the big project without a second thought. Lex had taken so much from the world. Now she needed to return the favor and turn LuthorCorp into something he’d despise. If only that process wouldn't include so many pointless meetings with “concerned” investors. Lena really didn’t need yet another plainly misogynistic man to question her capabilities and plans for the company.
Lena is taken out of her thoughts by a loud thud sounding outside, and even without hearing the dogs immediately race toward the noise, she knows just by the way her shoulders relax instantly who has just arrived. Well, at least she thought so. However, when she steps outside to see Kara petting Toto and Alex Jr. with the three teenage kids that stayed with them, there’s another unannounced visitor as well – a scruffy cat perching on Kara’s shoulder.
Its fur is white and fuzzy, although thoroughly splattered with dried dirt, which builds a stark contrast to its golden eyes. The most noticeable detail about it is its steadfastness, though. It doesn’t look intimidated by the dogs jumping up at Kara in the least, tail swishing only slightly, eyes fixated on Lena instead.
“Hey,” Kara smiles, floating toward her. “Meet Duchess. I saved her from a fire in an abandoned factory today.”
Lena recognizes the name from one of the movies Kara had made her watch during her pop culture education spree and tentatively holds her hand out for the cat to sniff. Instead of smelling it, Duchess confidently steps on her arm, walking over it to settle on Lena’s shoulder. Lena can feel her fur tickling her neck, but she stays still so as not to scare her away. “Let me guess, she likes sitting on people’s shoulders?”
“Seems like it,” Kara grins, already drawing her phone to take a picture of it. “Can I send it to Alex?” she asks.
“Of course,” Lena smiles. “Tell her to give us an update on how Max is doing.”
“I bothered her about it on our mission earlier already. She just sent one,” Kara informs her, holding out the phone for Lena to see a selfie of Kara’s sister and the puppy she had fallen in love with when she had come to visit them with Eliza a few months ago. Max is wearing the blue bow Kara had made for her when she’d still been with them, and has her paw on Alex’s shoulder, looking at her instead of the camera.
It’s adorable, and Lena can’t help but smile and forward the message to her own phone. “We should print it,” she suggests.
“I can do that tomorrow after my job interview,” Kara offers, putting her phone back into the zippable pocket of the supersuit Lena had designed for her as soon as she had access to LuthorCorp’s laboratories again.
“I still think you should have made use of your connection with Clark to get an interview as a reporter. There’s no need to start out as an assistant,” Lena points out, slowly walking back inside to clean up their newest rescue.
“I want to make a name for myself without his or your help,” Kara reminds her. “If that means starting out as an assistant, so be it.”
“Of course." Lena nods encouragingly, “And you will.”
Kara smiles gratefully and carefully plucks Duchess off Lena's shoulder, stealing a quick kiss from Lena with the cat in her arms. “I got her. I know you just finished work, so go ahead and rest up a little. Does Giorno’s for dinner sound alright?”
“Sounds perfect,” Lena smiles. “I left the profiles of some applicants for the farm helper and animal caretaker positions on the dining table. When you have time, we can go over them together.”
“Great, we can do that after dinner,” Kara suggests, before taking Duchess upstairs to wash and de-flea her.
Lena steps outside instead, grabbing a few tennis balls to play with the dogs that very kindly had left her mostly undisturbed during her work hours. While she plays fetch with them and gives out generous amounts of pets, her mind wanders back to work, thinking over the last job interview for the CEO position she had held yesterday. All the candidates had been qualified and background-checked, but none of them had truly convinced Lena they were up for the job, except the last.
The candidate had been a great fit – kind but assertive and with a great work morale. Lena had recognized herself in Samantha Arias, and although she didn’t know the woman very well, her gut feeling told her she was going to be the right person to keep LuthorCorp – or as it soon would be known as LCorp – on a straight path. She’d be a friendly face for the press to fall in love with, without any real baggage that could taint the company’s name.
There was no use in hesitating, but still, for some reason, Lena found it hard to let go. She’d still own most of LCorp’s shares and could make decisions for the good of the company. And after all the stress of the last six months, she had realized that continuing in the CEO position would leave her with little time to focus on what was most important to her: Kara, the animals, and the life they’d built here for themselves.
However, there’s this nagging feeling in her stomach, this need to make up for all the pain her last name had brought on in the past, to do good. Lena didn’t want to keep having the sole responsibility for LCorp… but what about sharing it? What if she'd share the load with the new hire, instead, under the same pay and terms as agreed in the interview, of course? That way, she’d have less work but could still keep actively shaping LCorp into a force for good. She’d have more time with Kara and the animals, and more hours to spend in LCorp’s lab to develop new devices for her cooperation with Supergirl and the DEO. And as a single mother of a young child, as her background check revealed, it would surely suit Samantha Arias equally well, wouldn’t it?
When Lena finds herself smiling with excitement, she knows it’s the right decision. She throws the balls one more time before she hurries inside to grab her work phone and make a call.
“You’re happy,” Kara comments as she walks in on Lena preparing iced tea in the kitchen. She wraps her arms around Lena’s torso from behind and rests her chin on her shoulder.
“What gave it away?” Lena chuckles, slightly leaning back into Kara’s embrace.
“You’re humming,” Kara replies, pressing a soft kiss against Lena’s cheek. “Did something happen while I was gone?”
“I decided on the CEO position,” Lena practically beams. “It’s going to be a two-person role to distribute the high workload.”
“That’s great, Lena,” Kara smiles. “Who is going to be your Co-CEO?”
Lena plops the last ice cube into the carafe before she turns around to Kara with a raised eyebrow. “Why did you assume I was going to stay in the position? All I did was complain about it to you.”
Kara places her warm hands on Lena’s hips, threading her thumbs through the loops of Lena’s jeans, and looks at her knowingly, ”Because it fulfills you.”
Lena just raises her eyebrow a bit higher and with a small laugh, Kara continues, “Naturally, you don’t like to deal with arrogant business people and investors, or the press who still can’t distinguish between your brother’s crimes and you. But all the other aspects? The research you do and the projects you develop, the events you hold where you meet all the people you help – it makes you happy.” Kara pulls Lena closer, then, one hand coming up to push a strand of hair out of her face. “You’ve already done and you’re continuing to do so much good. You’re right not to give that up because there’s that tiny, self-sabotaging voice telling you that you don’t deserve it. Your last name doesn’t determine who you are on the inside. And with time, everyone else will realize that too.”
Lena nods slowly, wiping away the tears that have sprung to her eyes at Kara’s words. “You always know just what to say,” she chuckles in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.
Kara just smiles and tilts Lena’s chin up to press a short kiss against her lips. “I’m so proud of you.”
Lena’s heart constricts in her chest, the words taking her by surprise, although she had heard them countless times over the last half year. She kisses Kara fiercely, murmuring an “I love you” in return against her lips.
They only break apart when Lena accidentally hits the glass carafe behind them, and Kara barely manages to save it from falling with her superspeed.
“Whoops,” Lena comments, rubbing her elbow to ease the slight pain from the collision.
“You need some ice?” Kara asks her, worried eyes scanning over Lena’s arm.
“No, I’m alright,” Lena replies and squeezes Kara’s hand reassuringly. “I’ll take a quick shower, and then we can maybe eat?”
“I’ll go and grab our food quickly,” Kara agrees. “It should be ready soon. I called in beforehand this time.”
“Great,” Lena smiles. “And then maybe over dinner, you could tell me more about your day? I’m sorry I haven’t asked yet.”
“Sounds good,” Kara smiles, kissing Lena quickly before she heads for the door. She turns around once more before she leaves. “I made up the puppy's former room for Duchess so she can get used to the new environment before we formally introduce her to the dogs.”
“Good thinking,” Lena smiles. “Fly safely.”
“Always do,” Kara replies, before she closes the door behind her.
When Lena comes down the stairs again, freshly showered and dressed in her favorite sweater (Kara’s), her comfiest pants (also Kara’s), and the fuzziest socks she could find (Kara’s one-monthiversary gift to Lena, as she had called it), her girlfriend has already readied the table for dinner and is snacking on some cookies, eyes scanning over the applications Lena had pre-selected.
She looks up when Lena joins her, a happy smile appearing on her face as she takes in her outfit. Lena had quickly learned that Kara loved seeing her in her clothes after Kara had not so subtly started strategically placing them around the house. Since Lena would get cold in the evening, there was always one of Kara’s sweaters, fuzzy socks, and a blanket waiting for her on the couch. And because Lena liked to get up early to get a headstart on work on the days she didn’t need Kara to fly her out to the office, a shirt and a pair of pants of Kara’s would await her in the bathroom after her morning shower.
This was also the reason that, other than office attire, Lena saw no use in investing in more comfortable home wear, instead spoiling Kara with new clothes and only by extension herself.
“Anyone you like better?” Lena asks as she reaches Kara, voice muffled by Kara’s sweater, when she is immediately pulled into her girlfriend’s side, Kara’s arm wrapping around her.
“They're all equally qualified,” Kara notes. “Maybe we could invite them all for in-person interviews with our rescues? In the end, the animals have to like them best anyway.”
“I’ve also thought about that,” Lena nods. “Let's ask them to come in next week when the renovation work is complete on the farmhouse. That way, we can show them where they’ll be staying during the week.”
“That’s a great idea,” Kara agrees, pressing a kiss to the side of Lena’s head, before she pulls out a chair for her. “Now let's eat. I’m starving.”
Over dinner, Kara tells Lena about her day: about the Starhavenite they had saved from smugglers, about Alex’s newest crush at the DEO, and about how Kara had found and saved Duchess.
Lena listens intently, heart warming in her chest at Kara’s compassion and the content in her voice at retelling all the good she’d done today.
It’s not like that every day.
Some days Kara comes home muted, her light dimmed by a rescue gone wrong, and all she wants is to cuddle up with Lena and the dogs on the couch; some days she comes home bruised and battered, and Lena has to roll out the sunbed she’d built for her.
But what matters most is that Kara returns to Lena.
Every day without fail.
“Eliza will come visit us next month after all,” Kara tells her, pulling Lena out of her thoughts. “She’s going to bring Maple too.”
“That’s wonderful news,” Lena smiles, excitement spreading in her chest at the prospect of seeing Eliza and the almost scary smart puppy she’d adopted last time she’d visited together with Alex again.
Meeting Kara’s family had frightened Lena at first. She had braced herself for judgment and rejection before their visit, worried that they could change how Kara perceived her, too. She had spent hours preparing their favorite meals and paying attention to all that Kara shared about them, hoping she could use that knowledge to sway them once they got there or to at least make them waver in their opinion about her.
Despite testifying against her brother, the media had loved to find cracks in Lena’s facade; had tried to dig up events in Lex’s past that they could link her to and question her about. They had portrayed her as a wolf in sheep's clothing, as a devil in disguise. Lex hadn’t just been a bad apple – no, the whole Luthor name was rotten, and so Lena had to be too.
Only that neither Eliza nor Alex held that picture of her when they’d met her. They had treated her with kindness and warmth and grace, although there had been some hesitance on Alex’s side at first. But never hostility. Lena had solely been an unknown person to them. And once they did get to know her, they welcomed her into their lives with open arms. Just like Kara had all those months ago.
And now Lena has Alex on speed-dial, sees her every other day at the DEO or for game nights at her apartment, and develops tech to keep her safe on her field operations. And whenever Eliza calls Kara these days, she always asks for Lena to catch up as well, and they’d get lost in conversations about new developments in their shared field of work or their next favorite topic: Kara.
Lena had collected childhood stories about Kara, had learned the recipes for her favorite desserts, and had fallen more and more for the wonderful person Kara is with every new piece of information about her. She loves learning and growing with her. Now Lena willingly sits through musical films with Kara despite loathing them at first, and fills their cupboards with sugary snacks that she can’t believe are FDA approved and would definitely give her diabetes if she were to steal more than a few out of Kara’s bowl during their movie nights.
When Lena had stumbled upon Kara’s sanctuary half a year ago, she never would have imagined one simple conversation could lead to all this. That losing her life as she knew it, that losing Lex, was the best thing that could have happened to her.
“Let's spend some time with Duchess, if she’ll have us,” Kara proposes as she grabs their dinner plates to put them in the dishwasher. ”This all must be confusing and new to her, even if she was very calm earlier.”
“I’ll bring the treats,” Lena agrees.
Lena’s love for Lex had kept her in Metropolis, letting herself be caught in the nostalgia of a distorted childhood and his manipulative ways. He had known her better than anyone, knowing exactly what to say and how to use her feelings against her to get what he wanted. And Lena had let him . His beautifully woven web of false promises and fake care and kinship had been something she just couldn't cut herself free from. At least until it all collapsed in on itself. Lex revealing his true face had shocked and wounded Lena in a way she still can’t quite put into words, but it had also given her the push she needed to fight her way out and run.
“Oh, so you want to be her favorite? Losing cuddling privileges with Rose after taking her to the vet must have brought out your competitive streak,” Kara teases her.
“I don’t think I can top you saving Duchess from a collapsing building, Kara,” Lena denies, raising an eyebrow at her girlfriend. “And I’m certain Rose will have forgiven me in a few days. My lap has to be comfier than yours.”
Lena now knows that running away from home had never been a coward's choice – and most definitely not a mistake. It had been the first step in freeing herself from all the hardship in her life, in making space for something better to fill it.
Kara mirrors her expression right back at her and points out, “ You seem to find it comfortable enough to lay your head on every evening.”
“Maybe I don’t have standards,” Lena shrugs, and laughs out loud when she’s instantly met with an indignant expression on Kara's face. Her hands come up to rest on her cheeks, one thumb swiping over the adorable crinkle on her forehead. “I didn’t mean that,” she consoles Kara, pressing a soft kiss against her lips.
Together with Kara, she had built a life that fulfilled her, a life she’d never thought she could have. If only Lena could go back to her younger self yearning to be loved and cared for throughout all these years, and tell her that it will get better; that there’s this wonderful future ahead, where she’ll be loved unconditionally, and she’ll be free and happy. She wouldn’t have believed it back then, but maybe a tiny spark of hope would have stayed with her at the least and kept her warm in those dark moments where she’d wondered if staying around was even worth it.
Kara’s face relaxes again, a small smile forming anew. “Good. I wouldn’t have wanted you to lose yet another cuddling privilege.”
Lena chuckles, but keeps herself from calling Kara out on the clear lie. She wraps her arms around Kara’s neck, pressing another kiss against her lips, “Lucky me.”
She’s glad she did now, that she lived to fall in love.
Not only with Kara and the animals in their care, but with life itself.
vipertex on Chapter 1 Wed 30 Jul 2025 03:42AM UTC
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thelastandonlyunicorn on Chapter 1 Wed 30 Jul 2025 10:56AM UTC
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